Toni and Ryan - Genius or Nah

Episode Date: January 24, 2023

Ryan CLAIMS this is genius - but let me give you a SPOILER - I don't think it is tbh. Love ya!! Toni xoxo Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the show. My name is Ryan, Vice Captain of the ship. Our Captain, Lord Saviour and author, Tony Lodge is here as well. Tony Lodge. And we are speaking to a rare Melbourne tarpa. This is Caitlin. Me Maitland, Caitlin. Save the gear for the, save the guard for the show. I'll say it again. Or not, either way. Hello.

Oh, is that me, Maitland? Caitlin? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Hi. Hi. Are you shocked at the dust or are you shocked at Tony's comedy? I'm just, I'm actually shaking right now.

I had it all planned out in my head. I was literally going to be like moose knuckle, but no. Oh, maybe next time. Oh, my God. I completely, oh, my God. It's because I disarmed you with my very good joke. Yeah, it's only. That Ryan told me off air was shit and you've loved it.

Look at that. Good jokes are hard to come by. I'm glad. I'm glad there's someone that's hilarious. That is just, fuck, way to start my day. The jokes are hard to come by. I listen to you guys for 30 minutes every day, and they are hard to come by.

Let me tell you, I haven't said one in a while. You guys take my day every day. Like, I laugh so hard. I look at my husband, and he just looks at me like, oh, my God. Caitlin, will you approve this podcast? Absolutely. Woo! Hey, it's Caitlin from Melbourne, and I approve this podcast? Absolutely. Woo! Hey, it's Caitlin from Melbourne and I approve this podcast.

All right, so coming up today. Yep. You've been in an altercation. All right, so coming up today. Yep. You've been in an altercation. I reckon when I tell you the beef I've had with Suzuki, that people will go, oh, I've experienced this on other websites as well.

And, Ryan, you've got a point. I'm with you. It's time to call out these people trying to sell you shit on the internet. Is this one of those things like, you know, you've made it when? You've got beef with an entire brand? Everyone has beef with everyone. When I say brand, it's not like me personally. It's like I'm just calling them out.

You and Mr Suzuki have had a conversation. I'm calling him out. Right, okay. It's more about online purchases. Like Suzuki's a big purchase. It would be, yeah. But the dodgy, yeah, it's rife. Rife?

It's a scandal. It's bullshit. We're being lied to. Okay. And I'm here to help. Well, at least call it out on everyone's behalf. I reckon you'll be with me on this. Okay. That's coming up soon.

Also, when I had a few drinks last night, I wrote a joke about it, and I woke up this morning and was like, okay. You had a few drinks last night? That sounds nice. Yeah. Just at home? Yeah. Sitting in your pool?

Yeah. Like a fucking. Piece of shit. No, I was going to say. Like a non-Suzuki driver. No, I was going to say like a fucking baller. A little bit. You're sitting in your fucking pool.

Had an old friend come around. I'm back in the old hood. I love that. So I've got these old friends who I haven't seen for ages. Yeah. Oh, I'm just down the street now. Come over. Have you been to fucking Henrietta Chicken?

You wouldn't believe it. You can sit in a restaurant. You can dine in. But first, okay, something's happened at Richmond's train station. Obviously not to you because you never catch the train. I think it's genius, but others may think it's like horrible and harrowing. What do we say? It's horrifying. Harrifying. Harrifying. Others may think it's like horrible and harrowing. What do we say? It's horrifying.

Harrowing. Others may think it's horrifying. And Tony Lodge, on behalf of everyone else, I want you to decide whether this is like an all-time fully sick move or he's a piece of shit. Okay? That sounds like a lot of pressure. You get to decide.

And I'm already stating. I'm the people's voice. I'm already stating that this is like the funniest thing I've ever heard. This guy did this move at the Richmond train station. Were you there or have you read it? No, this is like second, third hand. Oh, fucking hell. Yeah.

And I'm not, I can't confirm it happened, but the guy who saw it has told someone who told me and he reckons that the other guy said it happened. So I think we can all say this definitely occurred. Okay. Now, we record in Richmond. Tony lives in Richmond. I used to live in Richmond. We've said many times on this podcast,

it's an area that can go either way. So there's some very rich people, but then there's some people who've had it rough. There's some people who are like quite creative. Yep. And there's some people who really fucking love to party. Yeah. Yes.

It's definitely like there are parts of the streets. Yep. So like Swan Street is like heaps of pubs. There's like 20 pubs in like a block. Yeah. So you never know what you're going to get. And it's not like in Melbourne there's like some rich suburbs and there's some like random suburbs.

This is like both of the same place. It is. And because we're right near the MCG and like Amy Park and stuff. Yeah, a lot of sports crowds. There's often sport, but there's also like concerts and stuff. So like there's always something going on. There's always people like having drinks and dinner before they go and do something.

Lots happening. Yeah. So just the other week Elton John played in Melbourne. they go and do something. Lots happening. Yeah. So just the other week Elton John played in Melbourne. And Molly pulled his pants down. Yeah, Molly Meldrum pulled his pants down. That was the same area? Yeah, same area.

But like everybody in the Richmond Facebook group was going off. They were like, it's so fucking loud. Open your windows for a free fucking concert. And like you could hear like unfiltered fucking Elton John like just through the breeze. I wish I was still here because I would have loved that. Yeah. I've seen Elton John live. Really? Years ago.

Yeah. I was probably only like 13 or something. You're just old enough to like appreciate and love it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I went with my sister and her husband. He's so great. Yeah.

It was awesome. It was fantastic. Elton John and your sister's husband. Yeah. Both great guys. Okay. So we're at awesome. It was fantastic. Elton John and your sister's husband. Yeah. Both great guys. Okay, so we're at Richmond train station. Yeah. And this guy, again, could have gone either way.

Maybe he's a creative type. Yeah. Maybe he's a billionaire. Maybe he's a genius. I think he's a genius for this move, but maybe he's just fucking had a rough one. Just a bit of a kook. Who knows?

Yeah. So he's at Richmond station and he's got like a box of hot chips. Because you know at the station you can get takeaway food or whatever. Potato cakes or whatever. So he's just got a box of hot chips and he sees these seagulls. There's always like gulls floating around or whatever. Everywhere.

And the stereotype is they love hot chips. And it's not just a stereotype. They do love hot chips. So if you've got food, they'll start hanging around. I don't even think it's just hot chips. Is it just any food? Yeah, food, food. Like, you know, if you threw out some like fucking stew, I think I'd be into that.

You know what I mean? Like I don't think it's only a butter chicken. Yeah, no, I'd be all for it. I love a butter chicken. Yeah, it's so good, isn't it? It's so fucking good. Have you ever had, oh, and this is a bit crazy, have you ever had a butter chicken pie?

No, but I don't hate the sound of that. So, right, our producer Cam, he's nodding his head. So there was this place in Bunbury where we both used to live and work and it was like this really fancy, not fancy, but like a really weird bakery and they would always have like random fucking pies and they had a butter chicken pie and it was fucking elite. It was so good. That sounds so good. We could make one, I reckon. I don't and it was fucking elite. It's so good. That sounds so good.

We could make one, I reckon. I don't think it would be that hard. Get a pie dish, pour some butter chicken in it. I mean, what else do you need to do? Yeah, what else is there? We could do that. Let's do that. Yeah, Cam's running that down.

Write that down. Good on you, Cam. Anyway, yeah, you could throw a goulash out. Yep. So this guy at Richmond train station sees a bunch of seagulls. He's got his box of hot chips and he throws one about five metres away. And you can imagine all the seagulls flying in. Yeah, and they all go to that one spot, like flock together.

And then he throws one about four metres away, three metres away, two metres away. So slowly the gulls are getting closer to the man. Yeah. And people are watching him going, something's about to happen. Why is he bringing them in close? He's got this look on his face that he's like, they're getting closer. They're starting to like these chips.

And apparently, so legend would say, the gulls are kind of like. The two mates that you talk to over a beer somewhere. Legends. Yeah. Okay. They claim there was a look on the seagull's face. They're like, this guy's dropping chips. He's bringing us closer. What's about to happen?

Like, what's the end goal here? So the gulls have eaten the five metre away, the four metre away. And they're getting excited. They're eating chips. They're loving themselves sick. And they're like, what comes next? This train pulls up, opens the doors, people get out, blah, blah, blah. Then you know how it does the, as it's about to close.

Then he gets a handful of chips and throws it into the train. All of the seagulls flock to the hot chips into the train as the doors close. And then the carriage full of about 35 pigeons takes off to the next stop and they're all locked in the train. What? Could you imagine being on that train? That is fucking horrible. That's not funny.

That's fucked. Could you imagine being on it? So the birds are flapping around and just shitting everywhere. Well, they're eating chips. No, they'd be fucking like when birds are trapped, they just fucking flip out and shit everywhere. Everyone poos and then they just get to the South Yarra and they can carry on with their day?

So are you harrowing? Is harrowing a genius? That is awful. How is that? In what? I need you to explain to me in what world that would be genius. When I heard this, I could not stop laughing at the thought of, like, imagine you sitting on the train and there's 40 seagulls in there going crazy.

You think that would be funny? I'm genuinely asking that if you were sitting on the train, that you would find that funny. Maybe if you're in the next carriage, maybe if you're the guy seeing it happen. How in the world is that a genius thing to do? That's fucking tapped. That's like a weird fucking thing to do.

I don't know why I just remember it. I think that is so fucked. And then they're trapped in the carriage. That is fucked. They all got off at the next stop. They're now Chapel Street girls. They're living their best life. They got out of Paran. They probably didn't all get off at the next stop. They're now Chapel Street girls. They're living their best life. They got out of Paran. They probably didn't all get off at the next stop.

They're probably still stuck in there. No, they would be right. No, because you would be trying to herd them off or whatever. That would be fucking terrifying. If you offered a free feed and a ride someplace, I'll tell you, I'll pick you up. I'll get some food on the way. Cool.

Thanks, babe. So not the same thing at all? No, the girls are getting a free ride and a free feed. If you could fly, you don't need a ride anywhere. You can fly. That's fair. Flying does have its advantages. Yeah. So if you say to me, do you want me to drive you to Sydney,

I'll get you food on the way, and I go, oh, I can actually fly. I can actually fly. So I'll just choose when I want to go. Myself, and I'll eat whatever I want. Yeah. Instead of someone who likes leftovers. Yeah. That is like, I just, I think I'm most, I mean, the whole thing is just fucking, fucking

so dumb. Okay. So stupid. What if you're a teenage boy and all your teenage boy mates were on the train and you're like, I just don't, I don't. I just don't get that at all. But regardless of that being just the fucking stupidest thing I've ever heard, you saying is this genius or not, how are you thinking? I'm just repeating an urban myth.

I'm just repeating a story I heard. I think an urban myth needs to go through more than two of your mates. Like I don't think that that's how an urban myth works. However, I'll let that slide. I'm like the thought process from you saying, oh, this is such a genius move. All right. It just says so much about you. I'm so disappointed.

Oh, I'm annoyed I'm so disappointed. I'm annoyed you've said disappointed. I just don't know why you think that's smart. It's so fucked. In hindsight, I may have come on a little strong with the word genius. Oh, maybe. Maybe. Yeah.

Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said this because it's genius. Maybe I'll replace the word genius with isn't this random? Totally different story though now. No, just a random. You're saying isn't this random? Yeah, it fucking is. So you agree with me? Have I fucking gone through a wormhole? Is this my work?

Is this actually, like, is it still fucking 2023? So when he throws the fifth chip and noses the train a minute away, do you reckon he knew what he was doing the whole time? Surely. And he's just a guy. What's his deal? Did he plan this? Does he do this all the time?

Is he known to the Richmond train station? Or did he just think of it on the spot? Did he know anyone on the train? What's he to the Richmond train station? Or did he just think of it on the spot? Did he know anyone on the train? What's he doing at the train station if he's not getting on the train? He just went there for one reason and that was it. Yeah, he didn't get on the train. He disrupted the peace for all those people but then

for no reason. I just don't... Alright, I'm sorry. I'm just so... You know that this is not my flavour of comedy so I think you knew how I'm sorry. I'm just so... You know that this is, like, not my flavour of comedy, so I think you knew how I would respond. No, I didn't know how you would respond. I just knew that when I heard this story, I was done for a couple of hours. I couldn't really think about much else for a few hours afterwards.

Yeah, see, that's accurate, but not because I'm laughing, but because I'm like, what has led to this thing happening? Well, if you don't like that, up next I'm in a fight with Suzuki. Hey, it's Caitlin from Melbourne and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. They might not be part of it anymore after hearing your fucking pigeon gull story at Richmond Translation. Sam Shout, thank you very much. Stacey Young, fucking love to see it, thank you.

Catherine McDonald, love ya. Ellis Tabikost, Ahsan Maharali and Molly B. Thank you very much for being part of the Patreon. We fucking love to see it. During the little music approver thing there, Tony said, that story took years off my life. It did. That has just stressed me to no end.

I regret having this story here now. Okay, but we're going to push on. Okay. And no, actually, I think this will bring me back. I think this will redeem it. So we're at the moment you're saying I've got beef with Suzuki or the Suzuki web guy. Yeah. Immediately my brain, and I think I said this earlier.

I'm not throwing chips at him. Imagine lobbing some hot chips into the sunroof of a suzuki at the dealership i'll teach him i just moving on from the fucking hot chips i'm so confused anyway so this random thing that you and i've been talking about for months is the concept and existence of g wagons the mercedes-benz sort of it like a Land Rover, like an old boxy four-wheel drive that's actually meant for like four-wheel driving. Yeah. And I like the look of them because they're a bit shit.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I don't look at that and go, oh, it's beautiful. I go, oh, all the cars are like slick and polished. I like that this is a bit rough and random and different. Yeah, yeah. And I'm not in the market for one, but I was just like, well, asterisk at this stage, I don't know how much they cost. Yes. Can I read you a joke I wrote when I was drunk last night? Yep. If you've got constipation, Google how much a G-Wagon costs because you will shit yourself.

how much a G-Wagon costs because you will shit yourself. Is that good? That is about 50,000 times better than the whole pigeon story. So because, and that wasn't that good. You know. So the G-Wagon, I thought because they looked a bit shit, they would be priced accordingly. These pieces of shit are $400,000. Yeah.

So the reason it came up is because we watched Travis Barker's Architectural Digest. Yeah. And he has one. And I obviously love Travis Barker. Yeah. And I was like, oh, my God. And we were talking about the car and you were like, fuck,

they're like pretty slick. I kind of like that it's, yeah, a bit unassuming. It's like a Mercedes without looking like a fucking. Like a Mercedes, yeah. And let me just put it out there. I'm not in the market in any way, shape or form. I just became fascinated with the fact that these cars were so expensive because I was like, how?

You can get a beautiful Mercedes for a fifth of the price? What is it about these that you can charge $400,000? The price of like an apartment in the outer suburbs of Melbourne, a whole house and block of land in some Victorian towns, and you're just going to buy a kind of shit-looking car? I think they're waterproof. For what? Just if you're out in the surf like me.

Maybe we should get one. You're at our urban surf. Now, you know I'm not a car guy. Nah. But even if I had a billion dollars, I don't think I could still live with myself or justify how that car, like how I could spend $400. I don't think so either. It's too much money.

Yeah. And so then Tony and I start making the joke that these suzuki jimneys are like the poor man's g wagon yeah because they're also kind of boxy and fun but they're sort of made for off the road a little bit and when you start noticing suzuki jimneys suddenly they're everywhere and this is like everything and we'd never really talked about them or thought about them before and now they're everywhere and now that is like everything. And we'd never really talked about them or thought about them before. And now they're everywhere. And now it's like when you say like, oh, I'm thinking about buying a red car.

You never see those. Yeah. Then all you see is a red car. Yeah. It's fucking Jimny Central in where I live and where you live. And that's it. There's just Jimnys everywhere. They're fucking everywhere.

And someone did message us on the podcast and say, oh, there's like a Jimny wave. So when there's like, it's like a real, there's a little click. They've got their own Facebook groups. And when you drive, a Jiminy drives past another Jiminy, you do the Jiminy wave and it's like a little community. Yeah. And apparently if you kind of don't wave back, someone might go, oh, hey, like I was in Richmond today, waved at someone like, oh, are they in this group?

Like, you know, a bit of a wind up because it's like a bit of fun. Yeah. So I started. They're a cult. Like it's like a legit of fun yeah so i started a cult like it's a it's like a legit club yeah so i started becoming interested in this cult and interested in the car but again and this seems dumb no interest in buying one whatsoever i was just fascinated by the concept yeah because just the the um like what's the word the uh mystery yeah mystery surrounding the whole cult.

So there's only a two-door. We're going to have a kid. Oh, so impractical for what you want, yeah. Can't express how I don't want this car, right? But I was like, well, if they're charging $400, how much are these Jimneys? Because you kind of said to me, I'll just get the shit version. No offence to people with the Jimney because they're a great car. We love them, obviously.

We've put a lot of time into them. But you're kind of like, oh, well, the Suzuki version, fuck, that's not going to be, you know. Okay, so here's where my beef begins. So I go to the website. Again, I'm too deep for my own good. I don't even want to buy the car. So you're just like looking on car sales, you mean?

No, it's like suzuki.com slash Jimny. Or where you can like build the version. Oh, I did that with my Audi so many times. It's so good, isn't it? Yeah. And so I type in my postcode and it goes, here's your nearest dealer, blah, blah, blah. And then it's like, click here for a price. And I was like, all I came to this website to do.

Was to find out the price. Yep. And then they go, well. For a gag. For a gag. Basically. For actually no reason. Yep. And then they go. For a gag. For a gag. Basically. For actually no reason. Yeah.

So where's your postcode? Oh, that means your local deal is this one. Well, I don't really care because I'm not going to buy it. Yeah. And they're like, oh, do you want a quote? And I was like, yes, I do. Yeah. And they're like, well, before we give you a quote,

did you want the sports kit? What kind of reflected mirror do you want? What kind of, do you want the grill or the regular? Give me the best price, dog. I'm like, just give me a number, dog, so I can go, hey, Tony, guess what? Guess how much these cost. Yeah. But then, so it's like.

So it scrolls through every fucking option. It took me so long. Right? And I was getting a bit like, just tell me the fucking price, man. But you've already put your fucking postcode in. And my, okay. So then they go click here for a quote. Yeah. So after clicking all that man. But you've already put your fucking postcode in. And my, okay. So then they go click here for a quote. Yeah.

So after clicking all that shit. So you're finally going to fucking get it. So I click it and it goes, oh, we're calculating. Type in your name, your address and your email address and we'll email you the quote. I fucking hate when websites do this. You know when you're moving house? Yeah.

Oh. And you can't just type in, I've got a three-bedroom house, come and get my shit. Then they go, oh, we've got a quote for, oh, we'll ring you. Don't fucking ring me. Don't ring me. I don't want anyone to ring me. No, thank you.

I want to look at it online like a normal person. Yep. Do you want to deal with a human? No. No. Even give me a live chat box. Yep. I'll do that before I answer the phone.

So I fill in my details. Yeah. I get an email. Finally. You finally got the fucking price at least. I bet. Oh, no. Fuck off.

What did they email you to say? We'll call you in five minutes. Because you're located in Eltham, your nearest dealership is Preston, we'd like to introduce you to fucking Sebastian from the Preston dealership. Nah, fuck off, Sebastian. He'll be able to run you through some options. Fuck, they're on the hard sell. What's the fucking Jimny KPI?

Can I also remind everyone, I don't want this car. Yeah. So then it becomes not even just about you not wasting your time, but Sebastian's as well. You're like, bro, you're not going to make a fucking commission off me. Tell me how much the fucking car costs and fuck off. You know what I mean? Like fucking hell.

I get this email and it's like Sebastian will be in touch. And in the email it's like, oh. So I get this email and it's like, Sebastian will be in touch. And in the email it's like, oh, you can play this game where it's like you click. But the game is just like. The game sounds fun. Well, the game is sort of build your own chimney. But I kind of already just did that. Because, you know, it's like, oh, let's play a game. Do you like pink or blue?

Do you like auto or manual? Do you like going off roads or to the beach? And then at the end it's like, I played it. And then at the end it's like, here's your blue Jimny with the off-road wheels and the extra thing because you said you like surfing and it's got this thing in case you drive on sand. And I'm like, how much? And then they go, what's your postcode?

Yeah. And they go, what's your email address? I'm like, we already did this. So Sebastian calls. No. And he goes, oh, g'day. Is it like same day or like? Ten minutes later.

Fuck. Oh, God, they don't have much going on over there. Not much going on. Yeah. For the amount of jimneys you see, you'd think they'd be flat out. Yeah, you would. They should be very busy, the amount that you fucking see. G'day, Ryan.

Heard you're interested in a jimney. And I go, I'm actually not. I'll actually stop you right there. This poor guy. Yeah. It's like someone's finally played the game. Yeah. They finally want to talk about it.

The thing is they get the printout from the game. Because he goes, G'day, Ryan. How are you going? I can see you like surfing in blue. Yeah. He's kind of like, oh, a bit of a surfer, are you? And I go, no. But Tony's bought a stand-up paddle board,

so I thought I'd tick that box. I know, you know. I was like, I'm just ticking boxes. I'm not going to buy it. It doesn't matter what I choose in the game. And so I'm. I know that this isn't how it would work, but all I can picture is you hitting, like, end on the guy and then they get a fax.

And it's like those really old printers, like a... And then the boss comes over and rips it off. Rips it off and goes, Sebastian! Here you go, Sebastian, we got a hot one. He got a lead for you. That's all I can imagine. Like, Sebastian's also a 1980s detective. Oh, we got a printout from the police.

A reporter for the fucking New York Times fucking 25 years ago. That's very fun. The imagination is very fun. So I kind of. So he fucking calls you. And I don't have the gall to say I just fucking heard about the wave and I'm in a rabbit hole and clearly don't have anything better to do with my day.

Or any money. I'm not going to buy this car. I think I told you we were shopping for fridges and they said, oh, if you want us to build the integrated fridge to your kitchen, it costs like, and we had to pretend like we could afford that because you don't want to be like, oh, we can't afford that. Yeah. You play cool and you go, yeah, we'd prefer the more expensive one.

So I don't think. Like you have to like. And because Sebastian had got the printout and he thought he was onto a sale, I didn't want to be a dick. No, of course not. And you're not an asshole. But I feel like in hindsight it would have been nicer if I had said, hey, bro, I don't want to waste your time.

Sorry, I was just building it online. So he's like, I heard you like surfing. And I was like, oh, you know, like summertime. And he's like, yeah, because the best thing about a gym is like it's great for the beach but also because it's so nippy, like where do you work? I was like, oh, in Richmond. He goes, yeah, you can find an easy park. It's great for in town.

And he's fucking lame. So you are working in Richmond. He goes, have you heard about that pigeon guy with the chips? It's a fucking genius move, isn't it? It's genius. It's so good. Sebastian apparently also didn't appreciate it. Didn't like that.

I'm glad he tested it on somebody else before he tested it on me and still decided to tell me about it. So I'm there pretending I like surfing. I'm there and he goes, oh, so have you any more questions about the car? And I go, yeah. How much is it? Yeah, fair enough. Which is a fair enough question.

Yeah, because after you've done the preamble, it makes sense. Like brass tacks, like tell us the thing. And until now, whilst I wasn't, I guess, up front with Sebastian, and honestly, up until now, I haven't also been a dick. I haven't been up front but I haven't been mean I've just like trying to be polite and blah blah but that's until now because he goes Ryan the thing about Jimneys is until you're sitting in it it's really hard to appreciate just how great they are so before we get into the nitty-gritty I'd love you to come down

just how great they are. So before we get into the nitty-gritty, I'd love you to come down. You haven't agreed to go down there for a test drive, have you? No. But until this point. I thought that you were going to say that you ended up having to go down there. That would have been really funny though. Check out the one parked out the front.

I go, Sebastian, 46 minutes ago, I clicked on a button that said click here for a price. You did? Did you actually? Yeah. And I said the words. Actually, before that, I said, Sebastian, your website's shit. And it's lied to me.

46 minutes ago, I pressed the button that said click here. And then it said, oh, just put in your email address and we'll send you the number. And I did. And you didn't tell me the price. Now you're calling me. All I want to know is how much a Jimny costs. I don't want any extras. I don't care about any of the features.

What is a baseline Jimny worth? And he goes, it's $37,000. It's a bit steeper than I was expecting. baseline Jiminy worth. And he goes, it's $37,000. Fuck. It's a bit steeper than I was expecting. And he goes, and I go, thank you. That's all I really wanted to know. And he's like, do you want to buy one? I was like, no.

Oh, Sebastian. And I just went, sorry. And then I just hung up. Not like hang up on him, but I was just like, and that was the. Yeah, and you went, cool, cheers, thanks for letting me know, bye. Yeah. Right. I will say, though, that it was, I wasn't a dick,

but I was cold at the end because I was like, you've said three or four times, here it is, and you've breadcrumbed me all the way along. And you've gone through seven steps of their fucking 25-step program. It didn't say click here to begin the process. No. It said click here for a price. And this is me drawing a line in the sand saying,

companies, don't promise me something and not deliver, unless it's a personalized video from us. They're coming. We're running late. I'm really sorry about that. They are coming. We're working on it. Don't fucking running late. I'm really sorry about that. They are coming. We're working on it. Don't fucking at me.

I'm really sorry. They're on their way. We've done 1,500 of the 1,700. Yeah. Don't promise me something and then not give it to me. Is that fair to say? Yeah, I think as well. Your game looks great and the usability is fantastic.

However. However, give me a number. I actually don't want your car. It's only got two doors. I'm trying to start a family. All they're doing, in my humble opinion, is wasting their own time. Thank you. Because can you imagine the amount of people that go,

oh, I don't know if I have the money. I'm not going to go down there and sit in a car and then feel cornered into buying something that I don't know if I can afford it. Yeah. Like I actually think that what you said was fair enough. And I reckon you wouldn't have been the first person to say that. Can you imagine people that have like, that aren't as kind as you, that don't have that much fucking spare time and that go, oh, you know, I just, yeah, cool. I'll put the thing in. Cause I just really, this is my dream car. I really want to know how much it costs.

And then they go, oh, well, you've got to do the game. Oh, then fucking Sebastian rings you. Oh, then you've got to go down and sit in it because I need to fill the fucking thing. And then, you know, like. When I said to Sebastian you website shit, he goes, yeah, people have said that. Yep.

See, I reckon they would get that all the time. So when he's ripped the fax off and thought he had a live one, I reckon that he knew it wasn't going to be a sale. It's a cold lead. It's not going to be good. I think they need to sort their shit out. Thank you. And I think anybody with a business model that is similar

of tricking people needs to fucking sort their shit. They need to lift. Yeah, they do need to lift. Yeah, because there is nothing more frustrating, whether it's a car or a fucking headband. It doesn't fucking matter. I don't know why they were my two things.

It felt like one extreme to the other. Yeah, yep. Whether it's one or the other. What's the opposite of a car? A headband. Headband. What's the opposite of a headband? Car.

That checks out. Suzuki Jimny. G-Wagon. I don't think it matters what you're trying to do, but if your only way to fucking suck people in is by tricking them into coming into the dealership and then, like, forcing them to buy a car, that's not good. I like this from you.

Yeah. It's good energy. Yeah, honesty. Honesty hour. Yeah. I think that, yeah, they need to fucking figure that out. Yeah. That's unfair.

Can you imagine if I went down there and they went, you need to sit in it, and I went, all right, I would sit. I'd end up buying the car. You would have had out. Yeah. That's unfair. Can you imagine if I went down there and they went, you need to sit in it? And I went, all right. I would sit. I'd end up buying the car. You would have had three. Yeah. Also.

They look great in pairs. I go, well, my boyfriend can't even fucking drive. Well, I've got two feet. Yeah. Yeah, fucking one in the other. Two surfboards. One's up on the top. One's a city one.

One's a beach. I don't know. Like, what do you fucking do? And can I just say that not that, I mean, I'd spend a lot of time on their website. The baseline model has literally nothing. So you've got to do the addition. It's not even possible.

Fuck, they're really swindling. Oh, did you want an engine? No, why do you see them everywhere? People are guilted into fucking buying them. Yeah, left, right and centre. Fuck. If you work at Suzuki or fucking your Sebastian you're sebastian from chimney or whatever and you know what we're talking about i hope that you take that on board we're not angry with you we're

angry at the situation can i be honest though still don't hate the chimney yeah that's that's the shame about all this now i don't want to buy a chimney because i feel like you fucked me around the thing about the chimney is that you can't really appreciate it until you've sat in it. That's what I've heard. What I've heard is that once you sit in it, you never look back. That's what I've heard. Maybe I should test drive one.

They don't even have rear view mirrors because you don't need to look back. That should be their fucking marketing. Hello. Okay, so the base model does not have a rear view mirror. Because you don't need to look back. That should be their fucking marketing. Hello. Okay, so the base model does not have a rearview mirror. Because you don't need to look back. Focus on the future. Stop looking at the past. Keep moving forward.

Oh, you want a rear vision mirror? That's an extra $7,000. Yeah. But you still can't look back. No. Because you don't need to. No. You won't ever want to.

Just look to the future. And by future, I mean your payments for the next seven years. Yeah. Fucking hell. Give me your love to see it. Pick this episode up. All right. My love to see it is from Erica Maletic.

She posted this in our Facebook group. And I think we'll all love to see this. Okay. Erica says, I'm finally caught up on every episode from the beginning of Tony and Ryan. Welcome to the present. Yep. Here we go. You're no longer living in the past. She said Ryan. Welcome to the present. Yep. Here we go. You're no longer living in the past.

She said you love to see it. Yep. So lots of people have said to us that they can't listen to one episode or watch our videos on TikTok and go back to the beginning. Yep. So if you're finally fucking, you've ended your binge and you're with us now, welcome. Welcome.

It's great to fucking have you. And if this is your first episode, hope that you loved. Fuck, rough one to start on. Rough one to start on. No, I reckon go back and start. Yeah. Yeah. Have you listened to that podcast, Tony and Ryan?

Oh, yeah. They were talking about pigeons and chimneys. Yeah. I didn't give it another go. No. That was just a one and done for me. And then the friend they're talking to goes, you don't really know until you sit in it. That's the thing.

Sit in about 60 episodes and then see if you get a done for me. And then the friend they're talking to goes, you don't really know until you sit in it. That's the thing. Sit in about 60 episodes and then see if you get a feel for it. Just a reminder, if you're new or old to the pod, hit the follow button. On Spotify, yes.

That'd be great. My love to see it is from champion tarper Jordan Dittman. Hi, Jordan. Now, Jordan has arthritis and has been struggling with it for a while.

Oh, wow. And so some things that a lot of us may take for granted can be quite painful and quite annoying. But Jordan Dittman says, Today I said, fuck it, and went on a 10-kilometre hike on my own, not letting my arthritis dictate what I can and can't do. Don't get me wrong, the last three kilometres killed me, but I did it and I did it with my amazing Tony and Ryan Frank Green water bottle by my side.

Fuck arthritis, you'll love to see it. You do love to see that. I couldn't go on a 10K hike ever. You got arthritis? No. It's just a piece of shit. I would not make 10k. Like, no fucking way.

Like, not even. Like, dude, it wouldn't even fucking humor the idea. You can't even finish the sentence. You're so exhausted. I'm fucking about it. Okay, I know this episode's been rough. Yeah. Is it fucking hot in here?

It is hot in here. Jordan, you're a better person than Tony or I. You fucking love to say that, Jordan. Good on you. And also, just being able to say fuck it and trying something, you know, I'm very proud of you. Yeah, good on you, Jordan. Yeah. All right.

See you tomorrow. Please come back. I'll come on a train or a jimny. Please come back tomorrow. What if I drove my jimny on a train? With all the pigeons? Yeah. Oh, it's genius.

I fucking hate it here. Love you, bye.