Toni and Ryan - Giant Farewell Cards

Episode Date: June 21, 2022

The awkward nature of a giant office card, and our favourite normal or nahs. Love ya!! Toni xx PS if you want to check out the apps I was talking about, you can find the one for IBS here! Or the one for Menopause here! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Kristen, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you? Oh, I'm great. How are you? We are good. Now, I've heard a rumour about you. Do you want me to...

Should we address this situation? What is it? What is the rumour? Apparently, Kristen was supposed to be an approver last week, but she couldn't take the call because she was busy on a date. True or false? True. How did the date go?

It was great. Great. Well, I'm glad it was worth it because we felt stood up. Yeah, we did. We did. Hey, I'm glad it's worked out for you. Now, will you approve this podcast? Yes, I will.

Yay! It's Kristen from Colorado, and I approve this podcast. Yeah. Did you see me trying to drink? Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Tony has just gone to take a sip of her Frank Green water bottle and had the bottle upside down and poked herself in the eye with the straw thing. With the straw.

And I'm supposed to be wearing safety glasses as well and it didn't work. And now you're holding it. Are you okay? What's wrong with you? Sorry, I've just had literally like a conniption. My brain stopped working. Yeah, you okay, mate?

Yeah, I'm all good. Hey, coming up in this episode, and this is very, you need to pay attention here because this is about you. It is. We're talking about when someone leaves work and there's like that staff communal farewell card. That giant card. That's the size of a fucking desk.

Yeah, and you fucking have to fold it up to fit it in the car. Yeah, it's so annoying. And Tony has just left her job. Yes. This week is my last week at my job. Fuck, how exciting. I'm so proud of you, mate. Yeah, big one.

We're doing this. Woo! You feeling okay? Yeah, I feel great. Because I can't afford you dead right now. I feel like maybe the flu is coming. There's a flu doing the rounds at the moment in Melbourne. Middle of winter here in Melbourne.

In Melbourne? Is that the thing we're saying? No, it's not. You are not well. Yep. It's coming on thick and fast. I've got a fever. Call Kylie Minogue.

I've got a fever. Tony, you take care of yourself. Thank you, man. Do you want me to get you a hot tea? Maybe I'll make a matcha when I get home. A matcha tea or something like that? Jesus Christ. I'll get the tools to make it.

Normal or nah, people submit their questions and Bailey Alice Joy. I thought you were about to explode in heartburn. No, the title is very self-explanatory. What is it? It's normal or nah. So Bailey Alice Joy has submitted a question. I don't think we need to answer it, but I think by the

question she's asking, we know that she's had a bit of a day and maybe she also needs a matcha tea and a bit of a relax and she's not feeling well. Okay. Normal or nah, says Bailey. Actually using a fucking indicator in your fucking car.

Fuck me dead. Is it fucking normal or is it fucking nah? Again, we don't need to. Sending love to you, Bailey, at the moment. Yep. Yep. Whereabouts is Bailey? Do we know?

No. On the roads. Yeah. Not anymore. Very frustrating though. It is very frustrating. As an over indicator myself, I. What do you mean an over indicator?

Like I indicate for longer than I need to probably because I don't like to. Yeah, it is. Never if there's like another road. Yeah, that's what fucks me up. Beforehand. Yeah. Yeah. But Bailey, it's just sending our thoughts and prayers.

Yeah. Bailey, love you, mate. Love you, mate. Danny L. Now this one, love you, mate. Love you, mate. Danny L. Now this one fucks me right up. This actually traumatised me for years and still sometimes I have flashes of this. What is it?

Normal or nah, thinking your life is part of the Truman Show and struggling to bust the actors and or cameras. Have you seen the Truman Show movie? I haven't, but I know the premise that he's like in an experiment and everybody else like knows that he's the only person that doesn't know or whatever. Yeah, so everything gets seen. So I, for instance.

And it's like on TV, right, is it? It's live on a channel like Truman Network, whatever. So was he born into that? Yeah, right. And he doesn't know. Do his parents agree? Oh, yeah. Like they're in on it and they're actors and whatever. Yeah, right. And he doesn't know. Do his parents agree? Or was he? Like they're in on it and they're actors and whatever.

Oh, sure. And when one of the actors wants to quit, they're like, you know, phased out and whatever. Oh, mum's had to go for a trip or something. And they teach him early on that travel is dangerous and they tell him all these travel stories where people die so he never wants to leave the island because then obviously he can't leave the experiment or whatever.

And they're all watching it. What's the outcome they're hoping for? Well, the TV production is like it's fascinating viewing. It's the actual reality TV and we get to grow up with this person and live their life with them and it's like a little brother we never had and we see him go about his life. But then obviously there's the moral side of like, this is a real person here. Yeah.

However, for people like Danielle and I, I will often do something really fucking stupid, but I'm the only one there. And then I go, but what if it's like the Ryan show? And like lots of people saw that. And I think Tony is now having that moment where she's considering, maybe I'm an actor, maybe I'm playing the role of Ryan in the Tony show that everyone's been watching for the last few years.

I hope you weren't watching before you picked me up this morning. What happened? What happened? Is that something that people are actually worried about? Should I be more worried about that? I think you should be more worried about that. When I was a kid. What were you doing before the be more worried about that. When I was a kid. What were you doing before the show this morning?

No, when I was a kid. What were you doing before the show this morning? When I was a kid, I used to think that maybe I was in a video game and I would do really erratic things to see if, like, I could trick the game. So in the Truman Show, he'll, like, go to indicate left so they, like, start preparing the cameras to the left but then go right and see if he can like catch,

because when he starts to figure out like something's not right. Does he? Well, he goes like something doesn't make sense here. Every time I try to leave the country, the airport's closed. Every time I want to drive out into the woods, the roads are closed or something. So he tries to catch them out. And so I think what Danielle's saying,

she has that moment where she's trying to glitch the matrix. Yes. Yeah, I've definitely had that. Yeah. So what were you doing this morning though? Next normal or nah? Just don't say it out loud. Just mouth it to me.

Oh, yeah, I could have guessed that. Yeah. Normal or nah? This is from Paul. FaceTiming on a bus. Nah. Why is that? FaceTiming in public, talking on speakerphone in public,

talking on the phone in public, like especially on a bus or on a tram or on a train or something. I fucking hate it. I just find it just so fucking annoying. The other day someone I follow on Instagram recorded an Instagram story on a tram. Who was that? Adam.

They need to be shamed. It was a mate of ours who's just started a podcast. That could be anyone. Is Bags. He recorded an Instagram story and he was on the tram. There's like people walking past him. That's Brave from Bags. Yeah.

And it's him like, oh, yeah, listen to my new podcast, whatever. And I was just like, bro, are you a fucking sociopath? Path? Well, he can reply. He listens to this show. Yeah, I know. Bags. Yeah.

Respond. Are you a sociopath? Let me know. Jump into my dance. One day, I, Ryan, am calling Tony Lodge. And Tony answers the phone and goes, hello, what's going on? Can I call you back later? And I was like, what are you doing?

She's like, I'm on the tram. I'll have to call you back. And I was like, okay. And I get it. I was like, hey, mate, you're on a's like, I'm on the tram. I'll have to call you back. And I was like, okay. And I get it. I was like, hey, mate, you're on a tram. We're just shooting the breeze. I don't want to be that asshole. You don't want to be that asshole.

No. Where I'm like, oh, yeah, then I'll pick you up at 8 o'clock. Like that can all be done by text. So later in the day, Tony and I are at dinner and I believe you were at the dentist earlier. Yes, I had been at Gorgeous Moms Dentistry on Ex you catch the tram into there. Exhibition Street, yes. Catch the tram into there. And I said, this is pandemic.

And I was like, oh, so was it many people out and about in the city? And you go, oh, mate, lockdown's still on. It was dead. I was the only one on the tram. And I'm like, oh, because when I called you on the tram, you kind of gave the impression that I don't want to talk in front of all these people. Now, is it just like incepted into your brain that tram equals no chat?

Yeah. Or were you just trying to fuck me off and go, hey, put in a text, mate. Hey, Ryan, what time tonight? Yeah, I reckon you just fucking text me that. Hey, mate, just send it in a text because I know I'm on a tram and I actually don't like conversing with you. I don't want to talk to you. I talk to you four episodes a week, soon

to be five, and I'm fucking done with you outside of those episodes. Imagine if I was on the Truman Show and it was me on an empty tram like, hey, mate, I'm going to have to call you back. Going through a tunnel. I'm watching you. Sitting on my couch watching the Ryan FM. All right.

Lindsay Rogers, normal or nah? Not owning a vacuum cleaner. Nah. Nah. Everyone's got a vacuum, bro. You need one. I just learned that my boyfriend hadn't owned a vacuum cleaner in two years.

What was he doing instead? Sweeping? We'd been living in different countries and he would come hadn't owned a vacuum cleaner in two years. What was he doing instead, sweeping? We'd been living in different countries and he would come and visit me and I never really went to his place, so I never really saw, you know. Yeah, fair enough. Besides, you know, the background of FaceTime, whatever. He finally decided it was time to get a vacuum because he could feel the gunk in the carpet. No, thanks.

Lindsay, I reckon long distance international relationship is good for you guys. And I reckon he can stay in whatever country he's in. Yeah. And that's come from me. I'm not a gross boy. Is that fair? Yeah, that's fair.

But I'm also not a clean freak. I would just say like in the middle of the, like just normal. It's kind of, we've talked about this before. Our houses are always like clean, but like there might be like clutter. Yeah, it's clutter. Yeah. So, but for me to go, hey, mate, come on. That's a lot.

Oh, she's hanging up on him on FaceTime. That's for sure. Sorry, I can't talk right now. I'm vacuuming. It's Kristen from Colorado and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Tomorrow on the show, one of the great London sescapades by one of our tarpers. Sescapades. Is that the word I'm trying to say?

Sexcapade. Yeah, what did I say? Sescapade. What's that? Nothing. Nothing. It's not a thing. So basically what's going to happen is you're going to hear a.

Ryan's going to narrate a story that's been sent to us. Is that correct? Yep. And I'm going to do the voices like Stephen Fry when he did the audio book of Harry Potter. So Tony will be the characters and the sound effects of the sesquiped. And it is one of the more graphic. And I don't want to give too many spoilers away. But gruesome stories you will hear from a young tarpa who is.

Tarpon up, hopefully. Wow. Yep. Oh, okay, that's part of it. I haven't read the story yet. I just know my role in this, but we are bringing this story to life. If you have ever hooked up with someone in London, it could be the person we're talking about tomorrow.

Oh, a bit of a serial. It might sound familiar. A serial seaman. Looking us through. A big thank you to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. If you want to check it out, you can do so with the link in our show notes. I was about to say link in bio. If you're on Instagram, you could do that as well.

Cassie Goff, Dale Ironwood, Kristen McClellan, Tess McPherson, Melinda, Selena, Adam Selig, Stacey Thomas, Wawa, Sarah Stevens and Jessica Patey and freeloading husband in brackets. At least they're being upfront and honest about it. They're being honest, yeah. So we know that. Jessica Patey, you're going to get half as much attention, Jessica Patey. Okay.

Jessica Patey, basically, you're going to get half as much attention because there's two people. Yeah. So Jessica Patey, fuck you. And buyy, basically, you're going to get half as much attention because there's two people. Yeah. So Jessica Patey, fuck you. And buy some scissors because you're going to have to cut your Frank Greenwater bottle in half. If I see both of you using a whole bottle. Do you reckon they'll do like split custody like Monday

through Wednesday one of them? No, you had it last week. We said when we broke up that we were going to be fair and honest and we both agree about the bottles. All right. Tony, congratulations. Thank you very much. Tony is retired from work as of last Friday.

Yeah. And I've got two, three days to go. Yeah. Not that I'm counting. Getting close, though. Yeah. We're due for a sleep. We are.

A sleep in. It's been such a great time. But, yeah, definitely burning out, feeling the pinch, I might say. And there's probably a couple more intense weeks and then we'll be cruising. We'll be back. Yeah. One of the more awkward things about leaving a workplace

is that big, massive goodbye card that everyone has to pretend is a secret and sneaks around the office, hey, Tony's leaving. Can you sign this? And then when you're done, leave it at reception. Someone like, you go to the bathroom and you just hear everyone like trotting around trying to like make sure. And you know that the poor, so at your current job, I used to work at the radio station.

It's not your current job. Like it's a secret. The radio station. Sorry, but yeah, so at your job at Kiss, I used to work here as well. And every time someone left or there was like a big anniversary or something, the poor receptionist would have to put everyone on an email except for the person who it was. What a fucking nightmare.

All staff minus one, heaven forbid. Because you can't, like, automate that. No. You can't be like, oh, here's the group without Tony, here's the group without Ryan. Like, it was literally like she would have to go through and BCC everybody. Yeah, oh, what a nightmare.

Yeah, I didn't even think of that. Yeah, and so they would always send it out and I'd be like, fuck, I feel so sorry for you. They must hear when someone's quit and they go, fuck, I've got to write one of those fucking emails again. Has anyone listening to this podcast or you, Tony Lodge, had a card come round and can genuinely say you've never had a conversation with the person that's leaving?

Absolutely. And possibly not even met, especially in Coat, people working from home, they're in the other department, on the other floor. Yeah. Oh, Jasmine from Accounts is leaving. Do you want to sign it? Sign this card.

Oh, hey, Jazz, all the best in the future. Yeah. Ryan. But see, on the flip of that, have you ever seen someone writing your card where they definitely didn't know who you were and it just says, good luck, all the best? They don't know me. They've just written a generic response.

They've taken up the least room possible because they knew. They didn't fucking know me. They're like, I'm not worth the real estate on this card. There's people that actually know who this bitch is. I'll let them sign it. Was that bitch this week? No, no, no, no. I left a job once where obviously they'd done the,

Tony's in the bathroom, can you sign this? We've got the card, have you signed it yet? And someone went, oh, fuck, no, I haven't, has scrawled something on and then, like, not thought about it. And in a sea of goodbye goodlucks, a happy birthday. All the best with the baby. Yes! Congratulations on 50 years.

I'm not leaving because I'm pregnant. I'm just leaving. Literally just said, like, happy birthday. They've signed three cards already today. What's this one for? Fucking, you know, stab in the dark. It's going to be a birthday, an anniversary, or a baby, or a bon voyage.

Good luck on maternity leave, bro. Yeah. Fuck me. Happy birthday. A happy birthday. And just, I mean, as luck had it, was it anywhere near your birthday? No. No.

Imagine the chances if you're like, I know you fucked this up, but it is my birthday. It is actually my birthday and everyone else forgot. Everyone else wrote goodbye. I'm like, Dad, is there something I don't know? Can I put a secret into the thing? You and I. Is this the thing? You and I. Is this the thing?

You and I both aren't birthday people for different reasons. Yes. My birthday is actually about a day or two of me leaving. So my birthday is around the mark. So I'm going to put it out there. If someone drops a happy birthday on my goodbye card, I will pay it. Yeah, you'll accept that. You'll be like, that's within the realm of birthday.

A few days either side. I appreciate that. Yeah, no, I'm all about it. So I finished up my job last Friday and it was a really emotional day. Like it was really hard to say goodbye to everybody. I think, and we've talked about this off air, but a lot of people leave jobs because they're fucking tired. They're over it. They're kind of- Well, they're really ready to just move on.

Move on to something else. But this is not the case. No, it was a really hard decision. They're lovely people. Yeah. And so I was working at a company called Mindset Health. And basically it's a digital therapeutics app for hypnotherapy to help people with IBS and also with hot flushes like people going through menopause. So if you happen, this is not sponsored,

but if you happen to be finding yourself with IBS, Ryan uses the app. He loves it because he shits himself literally constantly. If you have IBS, the app is called Nerva. You can start with a seven-day free trial. You'll fucking love it and then you'll want to keep listening. You'll want to pay. And your title was, were you actually Audio Queen?

Was that your title? Yes, I got them to make business cards. But you were literally cutting and making these audio sessions and whatever. And if you or someone you know, someone that you love, is going through menopause, the app is called Evia, also a seven-day free trial and then you can pay for three months at a time.

Did you promise all of this in your emotion? No, I didn't. I'm so sorry. I'll give you a plug on the podcast. They said that if I gave them a plug that they would listen to an episode in a meeting. You don't want that. No, I don't.

They don't want that. They don't want that either. I was like, just download it. Don't have to listen to it. The last time we were played in a meeting was at the doctor's office with Dr Justin. Oh, that's right. The rich doctor who you said was

fucking bigger than Ben-Hur and walked in and he was like... He was holding the COVID jab like a javelin and was ready to throw it through me. Big Justin. His biceps were the size of my thighs. So they played... Thiceps. Thiceps. So they played that audio in the meeting at a doctor's office and I don't feel

comfortable with that. No, not great. Concentrate on the health. You've got a lot of shit going on. There's a lot on. Have you read the news? It's a busy time for health. It's a time for you, yeah. So Evia and Nova, if you're interested, go and check it out.

Anyway, I finished up there and the big fucking giant card went around the room. Oh, here we go. And I read it and I was really teary because there was some really, really lovely fucking messages on there. And it was really hard for me to leave. And then there's one at the bottom. And I don't know if you remember, but last Christmas I gave you my heart.

And the very next day you gave it away. Gave it away. Okay, go on. I had... Give it to someone special. I had a young guy called Scott who I'd never worked with before. Do you remember? Yes, yes, yes.

And he said on his, like, wish list that he really liked puzzles. Yeah. And remember I floated the idea of Photoshopping a photo of Scott and I together and putting it on a, like getting it printed on a puzzle at Officeworks. So you're going to give this to him as an Office KK to a guy who you haven't really met. We'd never met.

And I think we all agreed, you, me and people who listen to this podcast, that that was a very over-the-top move. It was over-the-top. So I didn't end up doing that. I bought him. Thank God for that. Yeah. It was definitely betterthe-top. So I didn't end up doing that. I bought him. Thank God for that. Yeah, it was definitely better advice that you've given me. An overstep.

The advice from you was good advice. Just be cool. Glad I took it on board. Thank you. So I ended up buying him this Lego puzzle. But at the Christmas party, I told him that I was going to give him a puzzle of the two of us together. Anyway, it was really funny.

We ended up getting sat next to each other in the seating plan at work. Oh, great. So we got along really, really well. Anyway, this huge fucking card comes around, I'm reading through, and right at the bottom there's a message from Scott. And I'm like, oh, how fucking lovely. I fucking love working with him. He's a great guy.

And it says, really sad that you're leaving, but glad it means five episodes a week of TNR. Scott, what a guy. And then at the end of the day we'd had a beer together and we were chatting. He gave me a big hug and he was like, oh, mate, like so proud of you, really excited. I was like, oh, thank you.

He's like, I really am excited that you're leaving though because I want five episodes of the podcast. And I was like, are you actually listening to the pod? He goes, yeah, I've never laughed more in my life. It's my favourite thing and I listen religiously every day. Really? Yeah, and he never told me. Oh, you never mentioned that until you left?

No. So you're getting on the podcast, bagging him out, talking about office pranks. Who was the guy that pranked you last week? Tang. He's fucking getting stuck into Tang. Yeah. And then, oh, by the way, I've heard every

word you've said about this. Yeah! Oh my god. So at least you'll hear that I gave the company a massive plug and then asked back, what? About a month ago. What? We were like, I think if we get enough Patreons we can quit our jobs.

Oh my god. That was like in the start of April. We said by when May starts. Was that? I can't remember the timeline. Yeah. But we definitely told people who listen to this podcast the plan before we, you know, had the chat with HR.

I think the CEOs listen as well. They knew. And so when you go in and you go, oh, hey, guys, I just need to bring something up and they're like. Well, well, well. Was waiting to see when we would find out about this and not the fucking internet. Did you get timelines?

I don't know you're someone who is particular. I actually have no idea. But, no, I don't think that they would have known that because we didn't think we were going to get there. But thank you so much, Scott, for listening. Thanks, Scotty. Great to have a fan. Thanks.

Fucking hell. Oh, hang on. I've got one more bit of beef. I just realised I have a question. What if we don't do birthdays, but what if something comes up where we've got to do a big card, but it's just a toolbar? I have thought about this. Can we still buy a big card?

When the podcast ends in 2047. Yeah. You'll get a, oh, no, you won't get a card. Oh, will you get a card? There'll be a card with fucking money on it. It's going to be a huge card. Don't shake the card before you read it. Okay.

I love to do that at the family event. But you do that and it falls out and you pretend you didn't see it and then you're like, oh, and Grandma, so generous. What I do is I take the card and I shake it before I read it. You're such an arsehole. And then when nothing comes out and I go, oh, just the words this year. Just the card, okay. Okay.

Interest rates, supply and demand. To be fair, my grandma every birthday writes a poem. I should have brought it. I'll bring it next week. Has she already done your birthday for this year? Yeah, yeah, she's written because we had dinner the other day. And every year she writes a poem. Because you do that for her birthday as well.

You do. You did it this year. You wrote a poem for your grandma's birthday. Did I? Didn't you? She's definitely written more poems than I have. But didn't you did it this year. You wrote a poem for your grandma's birthday. Did I? Didn't you? She's definitely written more poems than I have. But didn't you do one this year? Oh, sorry.

Maybe I did. I feel like we talked about it on the podcast, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, we did, didn't we? Good on me. Yeah, good job. And that's really close to my heart, that poem. That's probably an agnostic one. Don't fucking admit it.

That's why I can't remember it. Don't fucking admit it. Sorry, what's your beef? Or tofu for anyone listening? So when you quit your job. Yeah. There's been suggestions that I didn't let you have your moment and I just blurted it out.

That is true. Because it was going to be this big announcement and then I was like, oh, wait till tomorrow. And then you went, Tony quit her job and we moved on. That was it. Beth has written through. Oh, hi, Beth. Because I put on Instagram last week that I'm finishing my job.

Yeah, you got a big, beautiful moment. I didn't. Well, you did. It just, like, the moment still came. It was just, I was sort of. You came, but I didn't. A bit hot on the. Which is normal.

On the trigger. I mean, I'm stoked for you, whatever, says Beth. But I think it would have only been fair to allow Tony the ability to blurt out this news in advance before you had a chance to announce it. I actually thought about it. I did think about it, but I didn't do it, Beth, and because I'm not an arsehole.

So I wanted you to have your moment. You deserve it. I'm very proud of you for quitting your job. It's very exciting. Don't say words. Put it in a card, mate. Well, I can't afford money and words. Just quit my job, mate.

Can you sign my card from work here? Yeah. In fact, you know what? I don't reckon I'll get one. No, you will. I'll slide out the side door. No one will even know I'm gone. Well, I mean, that's what you want, isn't it?

It is what I want. You don't want a rogue happy birthday in there because someone doesn't know who the fuck you are. It's very upsetting. I'll get one. Hey, Ryan's leaving. Who? Who?

You know that guy? He used to come in. My you'll love to see it this today, this today, is this gorgeous, it's so lovely, this gorgeous display at a museum. And I'll show you a photo. So it's like a proper display. It's a rock on a little plastic thing and it's behind a sheet to protect it and stuff.

Like, you know how artifacts are like, you know, so no one can touch and put their fingers all over it, whatever. And the explainer tag next to it says, Bethan's Rock, 2019. On the 23rd of August 2019 Bethan visited Poole Museum. After talking with her mum about what museums do, Bethan decided she wanted to donate her most precious

rock to the museum. She asked that we put it behind glass and look after it so that everyone could see it and enjoy it. And this museum has put this little girl's rock on display at a museum. It's just a rock. Actually, it might be old gum.

Like it literally is just like some weird little hunk of shit. And it's Bethan's Rock and it's at the Poole Museum for all to see and enjoy. Isn't that so sweet? I do love that. And like, you know what? It's easy to do. You don't have to do it. That's the thing.

But, hey, make someone's day. But isn't it nice? And because she would be telling everybody that her rock's on display. She's like, I'm part of history because my rock's in that museum. Very special. That is special. I love that. Yeah.

I'm going to ease the music here because this is an important one. Oh, so what about Bethan's rock? This is one of the tapas. Oh, okay. This is Kay Miller. And you may have seen this story in the group. You Kay have seen it. You Kay have seen it. And what a legend. I almost shed a tear when I read this. Oh, what is it? Let me read Kay's story. Oh, hi Kay. I nearly failed my exams in year 11 because I had a really bad accident. And then after the accident there were infections

and illness and pretty much wasted, not wasted but lost a year of her life. Especially that year as well. She spent a year in the children's hospital in a really bad way. Fast forward, she's nearly 26 years old, living a fairly normal life with one of the world's most fucked up senses of humour because, you know, the trauma,

you've had some tough times, you can either laugh or cry and she's like, you know what, I'm doing it. And the Tony and Ryan podcast community is a place where I've felt comfort with some other fucking terrible people who laugh at some awful things. This week, my biggest achievement to date, I qualify as a primary school teacher and secure myself a permanent job at a school that I love and something I never dreamed

of doing at school myself. And there's a photo of that. She's in a wheelchair now and will probably be, you know, for the majority of her life. I could honestly have not done it without this podcast getting me through my final stages of getting my qualifications and stuff. Because as we learned, we wanted to be something great. But instead we've become, oh, I'm so exhausted I can't deal with intellect.

I'm just going to fucking put Tony and Ryan on. That's fine. We fill a hole. See a need, fill a need. Every day on my way home from work, my body was screaming at me to stop and to give up. But I listened to Tony and Ryan to make me feel better. Sometimes I've I'm going to try and not laugh while this is happening because

this is a real sentence here. Sometimes I've nearly turned my paraplegia into quadriplegia from the amount of laughing I'm doing in the car. Kate. You bring so much light and joy in a weird way. Please keep pushing on. You're really helping me out.

Sometimes for someone that really struggles with accepting support, I've found real comfort in the community that shares my values of fucked up humour and also kindness and support of humans. Okay. Oh, well, we love to see it and we're very, very proud to have you part of this thing that we're doing. The thing we're doing. Now, there's a few follow-up comments here.

Katie Sparkle, she certainly fucking does. She's in a wheelchair as well. And can I tell you, on her behalf, her joke? Yes, please. And it's like, again, it's Hayley Sparkle's joke. She's in a wheelchair. She's down with the joke. Okay.

She goes, dear Ryan, you know what I can't stand? That's the end. What? What. What? What? Why can't she stand? What? I feel like this is how people feel when I make a dead mum joke. I'm finally on the receiving end.

I'm finally on the receiving end. Hey, Lynn, Kate, you fucking love to see that. Amazing work. Absolutely amazing. That's where it's really important to have punctuation. Because it's like, you know what? I can't stand. I can't stand.

You know what I can't stand? Yeah. Crickets. It's also the difference, I don't know if I can't stand. You know what I can't stand? Crickets. It's also the difference, I don't know if you've seen this before, where punctuation is important, where I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse versus I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse. Yeah, or let's eat, Grandma, and let's eat, Grandma. Kate, pumped for you, mate. Yeah, Kate, we are so fucking proud of you.

And hopefully, I'm not sure where you're based, but hopefully one day we can meet and catch up when we're on the world tour. Eventually, wherever we end up. On the world tour. She's from Richmond. Oh, is she? I don't know. Oh, that's why I said I don't know where you're based. Or cased, is what I said.

Cool. All right. Well, thank you so much for listening. We'll send you a card, mate. Congratulations. Happy birthday. Good luck on your journey. All the best with future endeavours.

Congratulations on 50 years. Congratulations on your platinum jubilee. Tomorrow we're doing sex injuries and talking about Austin Powers. If you haven't watched it, please watch it tonight. Love you, bye. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of

heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca.