Toni and Ryan - Glory in Kentucky

Episode Date: April 15, 2024

My brain gets a little stuck on the logistics of a glory hole. Love ya!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, Dr. Author Tony Lodge. We are calling Winnipeg, Canada, and it's Brianne, which not to be confused with a Brianna, because they're the crazy ones. But this is Brianne. Just to really, you know. Let us know. Thank you. Hello? Brianne! Hi. Yes. Hi. Hello. It's Tony and and ryan how you doing

i'm good how are you we're good were you expecting this call brian you seem shocked and confused no i i was expecting it i'm just um in the middle of cleaning up the house a little bit i'm glad you called now though because my husband's not home yet and i didn't tell him oh like as in he'll be jealous you mean yeah and then he'll just listen and then your voice will be there or my voice will be on oh so this would be great surprise will you approve this podcast yes i will yeah legend hi it's brianne from winnipeg and i approve this podcast yes i will yeah legend hi it's brianne from winnipeg and i approve this podcast starting today with some quick linkedin chat oh i love it you know how people message on linkedin but it's obviously like dear and then the computer programs like insert name here so it's like tony

you would benefit from our new and it's just like clearly so because on linkedin my job title is a vice captain of the ship someone's asked you to do the titanic no but like it's basically just clearly a computer's gone insert job title here. Yeah. And then someone's gone, hello, Ryan. Does your job as vice captain of the ship require specialist technology support?

Oh, my God. I'm like if a real human had read that. See, and we're worried about AI taking our jobs. There's just no way. Everyone's safe. My favourite new meme. It said, here is me congrat about AI taking our jobs. There's just no way. Everyone's safe. My favourite new meme. It said, here is me congratulating AI from taking my job and the hands. And there's like 18 fingers on each hand.

Yes. So fucking good. So, sorry, Oak O. Oh, we won't be needing your services. We won't be needing your. Thanks for reaching out, though though with your weird computer problems. Appreciate that. Yeah.

Hey, thanks to everyone for submitting their confessions, tonyandryan.com.au. You can submit your normal or NAS confessions. And there's another tab that's just like any loose story you feel like the tapas need to hear about. Yeah. Share whatever you want. Let's start with the Kentucky glory hole.

This chicken's really kept me up at night. I went to an anonymous glory hole at a house in Kentucky and when I arrived, one of the cars out the front looked kind of familiar. Sorry. At a house? Well, it's got to be someplace. Aren't they normally in like a public place though?

Like normally in like a bathroom or at a club or something? I think the stereotypes would lend you to believe that and I'm sure there are some. But I think, you know, for the distinguished anonymous dick sucker, you want to do it in the privacy of someone else's mansion. But if you went to someone's house, then wouldn't you know who? But it's like a party, you know, it's a thing, like a party or a house or whatever.

Right. Okay. So there's like lots of people there. Do you know who but it's like a part like a you know it's a thing like a party or a house right okay so there's like lots of people there do you know what i mean well i reckon stick with this story and it'll oh it's what you're thinking because like if i'm hooked up at your house to fucking have a go at your glory hole be like yeah just go on orions like do you know what i mean yeah but like in sort of some different societies it's like here's this weekend's address there'll be a number of people there here's your time to arrive you know it's mean? Yeah, but like in sort of some different societies it's like, here's this weekend's address. There'll be a number of people there. Here's your time to arrive. You know, it's a bit of like a. And there's just a sheet up in the living room like when your mum

had a Tupperware party. Yeah. Right. What did your mum do at Tupperware parties? That's on tomorrow's confession. A confession from beyond the grave. I'm getting the vibe that it's like a. Sorry.

What was that movie? My mum has come back from the dead to share one story. And it was. A glory hole. At a Tupperware party. That sounds actually like a great clit lit book. Put your dick in this lunchbox. Like the gobby at the Tupperware party.

And it's like a real sexy story for like mums from the early 2000s. What's that movie that's got Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in it and it's like a sexy movie? And it's a bit like they're in a big old castle and it's like a high society. Wide awake. Straight awake. Eyes wide shut.

Eyes wide shut. Eyes wide shut. I was close. You were getting there. I was getting there. The wheels were turning. The cogs were on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I only know that because they talk about it in an episode of Captain Kim. I've never seen it. All right. Don't they all wear cloaks and masks and stuff? Do you know what is the scariest thing I've ever seen? I'm so sorry to cut you off. You know when, like, in shows they have those big apothecary, like, beak masks?

Yeah, I make up words too, mate. All good. They're so scary. Do you know what I'm talking about? No. Okay, I'm going to just take a screenshot of this to show you why it's so scary. Sleep no more mask.

Oh, fuck no. And they, so there's. No, no. Isn't that so scary? That is the worst thing I've seen since a grown man tonguing a cappuccino at a farmer's market. All right, well, let me paint the picture for you, sweetheart. Imagine there's a man at the farmer's market seeking shelter

from the rain just as you are, right? You're there. You're holding your baby. He's tonguing his cappuccino while wearing this. He's beaking it. He's beaking it. Imagine that coming at you through the glory hole. No, thank you.

Just a full beak. No, thank you. Full beak through your Tupperware party. No, thank you. Just pull full beak. No, thank you. Full beak through your Tupperware party. No, thank you. Okay, so the one that's popped up is actually like a gimpy one. It's like a sex toy one. Are they not all sex toy ones? Well, they were for doctors back in the day because it was

like a COVID mask. It was supposed to protect you from like. Yeah. Like doctors wore it. Okay. Because it was for during the plague. So it was supposed to protect you from getting the plague. Anyway, yep, so we're at the Kentucky Glory Hall.

Imagine like an eyes wide shut type society. And so they go, oh, hello, gentlemen. This weekend we'll be going to this. Are you wearing little masks? I don't know. Oh, sorry. It's not just like this guy's yeah come over to steve's and you go it's obviously steve stick like you know what i'm saying it's i think there's a

um distinguished crowd i believe so on gossip girl there's an episode where they all go to big swingers party and they're wearing this path carry mask and this is where yeah go yep who ended up being the person that wrote the diary i'm not gonna say because i'll get fucking sent to prison okay remember when i said that fucking what happens at the end of new girl which obviously Who ended up being the person that wrote the diary? I'm not going to say because I'll get fucking sent to prison. Okay, okay. Remember when I said that fucking what happens at the end of New Girl, which obviously happens, and I got fucking roasted alive like a bloody capsicum? I still haven't got past season three, so don't waste it. Ruin it for me.

Yeah. So obvious. Anyway. I went to an anonymous glory hole at a house in Kentucky, and when I arrived, one of the cars out the front looked kind of familiar. Oh. In the lobby of the...

See, this is where the person's fucked up. In the lobby of the building, there was a family photo and then it hits me about how I know the car. I'm in the house of a HR executive from where I work. Oh! Oh! I'm in the house of a HR executive from where I work. I could have left, but instead I gave him a big old mouthful full of my population paste. There's a lot going on in one small sentence right there. Fuck me.

Population. That is a jellable offence, that term. Surely. Population paste. Oh, my lanta. Now, like you described your mum's Tupperware party, there was like a sheet up with like a hole and so people would just like pop their goods in the sheet and someone else and you would know

who it was and blah, blah, blah. I've seen him at work since and there's been no looks or anything and still to this day I don't think the HR executive knows he sucked my dick and had my schlong jelly in his belly. Not even the top five most upsetting things I've heard this week, but it's still fucked. They're getting too comfortable sending things like that. Population paste.

Whoa. There was no populating going on, by the way. I've sucked a few dicks in my time and there's no populating going on. I don't know if the homosexuals know how it works. The population. Sorry, that's fucking done me in. So I feel like a bit sad for the HR executive. Why? Because there's no anonymity for this person like that really sucks if there's one thing i've always said is if you're hosting an anonymous glory hole party at your house put the family photos down yeah you have always said that

yeah yeah and that's just a good tip for life in general everyone listening write that down write that down number three rule five when in kentucky all right here's the next one and this is the population sorry that's really i've said some fucked stuff today and that has just unravelled my brain. Now, this next sentence, whilst very different, I believe is the worst sentence you'll ever hear, which is a big statement considering we've all just experienced the words population and paste put together. This is a new confession, by the way. Okay.

When I was 16, I went ghost hunting on Halloween night at a run-down clown hotel about an hour and a half outside of Vegas. Do you want to fucking die? What? That's crazy. Very upsetting. There's so many upsetting. Run-down clown hotel.

So what do you get there and you show your id they go sorry not a clown like today have like strict entry requirements oh only two people came out of your car you can't be a clown like how how is it a clown hotel hang on hang on hang on is it a clown hotel that's been run down or is it a hotel for run-down clowns? You know what I'm saying? Or is it run by clowns but just for normal people or is it a hotel that only clowns can go to? A lot of questions. Also, the fact it's in Vegas seems worse than anywhere else but then an hour and a half just outside of Vegas?

That's even worse. Because there ain't much outside of Vegas. I've driven from, where do we go, Vegas to LA. Not much in between. And there's nothing. Nothing in between. Our friends had all the typical, well, typical for them, I don't know this world, but they're like ghost hunters.

That's, oh, that's so spooky. Our friends had all the typical paranormal ghost hunting equipment, the audio recorders, cameras, electromagnetic detectors. AMF detector. Yeah, I've seen Supernatural. We were walking through the hotel using the cameras and recorders and asking. Does this get, because I actually don't like this stuff.

We're asking the ghosts questions to see if they'll answer and then we'll listen back to the audio to see if there is like an answer or a response this has given me the hebas for the longest time nothing was happening and it was actually kind of boring says the confessor we asked more questions right at midnight when halloween hit and we played back the audio and we heard a voice whisper, get out. And then a few seconds later, get out now. In a much angrier, louder voice.

Everyone panicked. We got so scared. We grabbed our bags. We left the Rundown Clown Hotel and we left in the middle of the night. Sounds like the beginning of Casper. Yep. My sister-in-law, who I was with that night, talks about this story all the time and she went from,

I'm pretty sure there's ghosts to like, well, now I know for sure. That is so scary. You can't fuck with that shit. Just respect it and just move on. She thought about submitting the audio to one of those ghost hunter type TV shows. Yeah. Until she went to get the audio and realised it had been wiped from the computer.

What? Fuck off. Oh, that scared me. That is so scary. That is so scary. I feel really spooked. I have yet to confess, but all that stuff happened while I was holding the recorder.

Nothing happened and I was so bored I thought I'd just spice it up a little. The get out and the get out now was me just saying it into the recorder, says the confessor. Started a podcast. It's been 12 years and I still haven't told anyone in my family who was there with me that night. And the sister-in-law's still wheeling this story out. I won't tell my sister-in-law until I'm on my deathbed.

No, you can't. Don't tell even then. Then take it to the grave. Let her fucking leave and come back as a ghost, haunt her then, and then she'll love that. Then redo your old gear. Yeah. As a real ghost.

That is, oh, the poor. That story really did scare me, though. I don't like scary stuff. I don't like run-down clown hotels. What the fuck is that? Also, imagine being in a run-down clown hotel and being like, I'm bored. I'm sorry.

Is all the shit out of your body already? Yeah. Into your pants? Yeah. Oh, I've already done all my pooing myself, so I thought I would just do something else. Is there a bar down the game on? Like, do they do room service?

Yeah. Like, how could you be bored? You would be at the, I would just be, my nerves would be shot in something like that. I hate that stuff. Same. We did that in. Oh, no.

Just outside of Canberra. There's a rundown pub that had ghosts in it. So we did a party there on Halloween. The fireworks factory thing? Is that that thing? No, that's Fish Week. That's another night. Oh, sorry.

Good time still, but different areas. Different, okay. Different areas, different areas. Because, you know, in Perth, in Fremantle, there's like an old jail and you can do like a night time tour. No, no, no. Fuck completely off. No.

And they do special ones on Friday 13th and Oktoberfest. No. Sorry. Obviously, I mean Halloween. Different, different things. Yeah, no, all good, all good. Sorry. All good, all good.

Hi, it's Brianne from Winnipeg and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Tony's really upset about the fan message. I'm really upset and I haven't looked at it. I'm not going to look at it. James has just texted us some pictures of the clown hotel, which I'd love to look at if the internet could hurry the fuck. You keep going though, mate.

A message. I'm really scared. That story wasn't even real. I'm still spooked. Jodie Eddington. Thank you, Jodes. Sophie Cullen. Good on you, Soph. Thanks, Soph. Holly. Jodie Eddington. Thank you, Jode. Sophie Cullen. Good on you, Soph.

Thanks, Soph. Holly Barstool. Elizabeth and Anusha G. Holly Barstool? Holly Barstool. Oh, my mistake. B-A-R-S-P-U-L. Don't forget.

Barstool. The Tony and Ryan merch store is open at tonyandryan.com.au. Click on the merch page. Help you out. Help you out? Help yourself out? Help you out. I'll help you out. I'll help you out. I'll help you out.

I'll help you out. Power on your throat. I'll help you out how to get to our merch. Yep. So a little tidbit about me. I stress about parking a lot. It's not that I'm not good at parking. I just always worry that I'm, like, not going to get a spot.

And in my life, I try and limit my stress and anxiety. Like, I try and, and like lower the barrier to entry for all things because i know that if things start to get a little bit hard i'll just go oh i'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and like maybe i can't do this yeah um and i'm trying to overcome that like i'm trying to put myself out of my comfort zone a little bit yep and um so i a few weeks ago like went to this craft craft fair and it was great. There was all these like, so it wasn't like a farmer's market, like what you were talking about yesterday,

no old men tonguing anything, thank God. That's nice. Nice change up, yeah. But like it was like people selling their bits and bobs, like oh, I've got an, I sell art prints or like clay jewellery and stuff. Yep. And you know like when you go to those things and, like, when you buy the tickets, you get signed up to the,

there's a mailing list and then all of a sudden you get 300 emails to every event that they ever hold. I hate that. And you get them and you go, oh, you know, that was pretty good. Maybe we could go to another one of those or whatever. Anyway, I get all these emails to this other market and I go, you know what? Like I'm going to take myself on a little date. This is on Saturday.

I'm going to take myself on a little date, go by myself to this big market. I just thought, you know what? I'm actually going to get dressed up, like put on a cute little outfit, go and get a coffee, walk around, look at all the like little bits and bobs because how fun. Cute. I look online and the venue it's at has like a big like paid, like story parking tower or like parking garage.

Has anyone ever heard someone struggle to say the word car park before? But like not like a car park out the back, like a proper like parking, like a Wilson's parking thing. A multi-level car park. Yeah, yeah. Because I just want to really like it wasn't just like, oh, 10 bays out the back. No.

Like it's like an actual. There's going to be space for me to park. There's so much. And I look on the thing and I go, oh, even better. How good. I'm going to get there. I just drive my little car in there and easy peasy. I get there.

It's about a 40-minute drive from my house. Yep. I drive there in the middle, like midday on Saturday. Yep. And the parking garage is closed because it's full. Fuck. There's that many people and it's kind of in like a busy area. It was near the city.

It's kind of like a busy area so I think like the parking. It's a big event for the day, yeah. A big event but also i think like other people park and they like do other things oh in the city on the week yeah it's probably football down the road or people go on the casino to see a show there's a lot of theaters in that area yeah so there's and it's also like there's lots of restaurants so people going out for brekkie and go oh we'll just park in that thing because there's no time limit whatever so when you saw it was full did you do a u-turn and drive to a run-down clown hotel in Las Vegas?

Because I can't imagine you going, oh, all good. I'll just find a park across the street. So it says they're all full, right, and the thing is closed. I'm like, well, I really want to go to this thing. So I start driving around and I see because on my car there's like a GPS thing and you can hit like find parking. Really? Yeah, and it took me to like another car park thing oh so like not within the car park no that's what i thought that would be insanity

no yeah second right third one on the do you know someone bring that in stop doing it stop going to space and start finding car parks do you know what is uh prioritize your innovation you know it's a fucking ruse? What? The little lights in a car park. They're always fucking work. And you see a green one and there's a pole in the fucking thing. Deactivate that one. That's not even a spot.

I thought you were going to say a polo because it's like a little hatchback. Oh, no, no. But like, you know, when there's like a park, like a bollard, and you're like, well, no cars would fit in there. Yeah, that fucks me off. Also what fucks me off is when they go, there's three down here, and you go, where? Yeah, show me on the fucking map. Yeah, that fucks me off. Also what fucks me off is when they go, there's three down here, and you go, where? Yeah, show me on the fucking map.

Where are the fucking three? No, so it doesn't do that. It's not that good. But you've kind of gone, oh, maybe someone's going to leave and I'll get lucky. Maybe I'll just do a couple of hot laps and see if I can't find a spot. Exactly. Exactly right.

And I'm kind of driving around the city, so I was like, it'll take me a little while to like do a full lap. Do you know what I mean? So I'm like, in five minutes by the time I get all the way around surely there's people leaving or whatever anyway so i drive around to this other big parking garage that one's closed because it's full as well everything's chockers i mean i can't even find street parking like there was one spot that was like 15 minutes i was like well that's not even enough time to like get out and get a coffee like in this big i see i would have just taken that all good no fucking way yeah oh sorry do

you have unlimited money for fucking car towing and people don't work on weekends yes they do well that's not my style that's not tony's style anyway so i drive around i mean my cute little dress i've got eyeliner on and everything fuck yeah i really like i was like i'm taking myself out on a little day i'm gonna spend some money on some fucking artsy garbage yep can't get a parking spot then it starts to rain and because in my head i'm like fuck i could maybe park a little bit away and get the tram a few stops yeah because i'm like because i'm like i'm going to let parking beat me. Tony versus parking.

And because normally I would just. Episode 463. Thank you very much. Normally I would just go, oh, no parking, too bad. But Ryan, John, you have taught me never accept a first offer. So I'm like, no, I'm negotiating with this parking and I'm going to really try and find a spot. That doesn't sound like something I would say. You're like, oh, like the first thing, like, no, no, no,

there's always room for negotiation. So I'm like driving around, nothing. So I drive home. Oh, Tony. And I was really upset. I cried in the car because I'd taken myself out and I was really excited and I was like, I'm going to fucking do this. But you know what?

Here's a learning moment for us all. Get an Uber. Two learning things. First all. Get an Uber. Two learning things first. Get a fucking Uber. No, I think there's a difference between, well, I've tried all avenues and it's not possible versus that first, oh, no, oh, and like panic straight away. And that's what I mean.

Like you've taught me. You're not like, no, there's a few. Persevere. You can be like, well, at least now I know that different avenues have been attempted and today's not my day and at least I've given it my all. Thank you. So regardless of whatever the fuck happens next

and if you end up in a Vegas clown hotel, either way, just know that I'm proud of your effort and endeavour and second and third and fourth efforts. Thank you. And I didn't just give up, which normally that is my style. That is your style. I would normally just go two fucking hard baskets, see you later. See you. So i get home and torbs is because he was just like oh great you're going out i'll have a day at home he's like playing playstation or whatever he goes oh you're home early playstation

yeah yeah he goes oh my you're home early like you're all good and i was like oh then you cried again i got yeah i did you explained it yeah yeah cried again eyeliner everywhere and i went i'm just gonna go take my makeup off i don't know why i tried doing anything like it was very okay and he goes sweetie is it on tomorrow as well i said yeah and he goes i'll drive you tomorrow we'll go to we'll go to the market tomorrow i'll drive he goes he goes i can drop you off or i can come in with you if you like it It's up to you, but I'm happy to drop you off and then you call me when you've got about half an hour left and I'll come back and get you. What a fucking guy. He's fucking sweet.

Well, I am Natalie Imbruglia because a part of me is obviously what a beautiful offer and the other half of me is like, well, you're fucking trying to make up for lost time because there's 10 years of not pickups you're trying to make up for. But that, hey. Let the past be past. Bygones be bygones. That's all gone.

Yep. Because now he's like, I can fucking pick you up. I can drop you off. So what did you choose? So I was like. Because is it rude to go, I'd prefer you to drop me off and not come in? Well, because he said he was like, you were going to go alone.

Do you want me to come? And I was like, oh, you're more than welcome to come, but as if you want to spend your Sunday at this weird knick-knack craft fair. And he said, I'll come with you. I'd love to come. So he came with me to the craft fair. I pretend not to hate that for you. Isn't that nice?

Isn't that sweet? Anyway, so I wear the same outfit again because it was really cute and I didn't want to waste it. It was good. And we get there and he goes, we'll get get up early we'll go just before it opens and hopefully we get a spot when you said i went at midday that for me if it started at 10 which it did which it did yeah yeah and i know i'm not like a between the two of us like an on-time early guy but i would have been there at 10 yeah no and i just went casual no yeah i went the wrong opposite

way yeah anyway so we get there a little bit early and the parking structures are still open so they're not like closed off to the public yet but they're getting full. You know how on the front it says like six fucking spots available or 300? Five, four. It's counting down. Anyway, we are driving around this thing and we find a spot,

an empty spot, and we go, oh, my God, like alleluia. Yeah. We find and it's like a big row of parking and it's a big car, the empty spot, and then the rest of the car is like down the way. Yep. The big car has reversed in and parked like an absolute Carla Conti and has diagonalled across the line into the other spot. Do you reckon they've done a terrible park or they think they're better

than everyone and need two parks? Bad park. Okay. Because it wasn't so far. Not a Carl Sanderlands like I'm just going to park across two. It wasn't the Rolls Royce in the middle of two parking spots. But it was a big like Nissan X-Trail. Yeah.

So it was a big like meaty car. Yeah. And it had kind of like, and it had gone over the line a bit. And we were in Torbz's car, which is like bigger than mine as well. Anyway, they parked on an angle and I was like, there's no way you'll fit in there. And Torbz goes, we're going to this fucking craft fair. We're going.

Listen to him go. I'm going to get in here. No worries, sweetheart. You hop out of the car. Let me fucking manoeuvre. First go in'm gonna get in here no worries sweetheart you hop out of the car let me fucking maneuver first go in he gets in there oh fuck yeah but at what cost he's had to go in on an angle as well oh so the big car's on an angle we're on an angle but then the car's down down the way all straight. Did you leave a sign? Well, I said, what if the arsehole next to us leaves and then we're the arseholes that have parked on an angle, brand new anxiety unlocked. What if they leave and then people see our car and go,

oh, what an arsehole? Oh, well, actually when we got here, they'd parked at an angle and then so like we just wanted to you know so one time i parked like an asshole to make up for somebody oh you just park like an asshole i did a shit park and then the person next to me had to do a shit park to make up for my shit park and then when i went to it wasn't till i went back to the car and i went fuck that was cruel i have have not nailed that at all. I thought I had. And it happens.

And I go to my car and then someone looks at me and the car next to me and I looked at them and went. And implied that they did the first shit park. So. Some people don't check out. So what happens if you're in the market? Yeah. The other guy comes back.

Then they see two crook cars and the other guy goes, I'm pretty sure that was that podcaster Tony. They go, can you get a load of this Subaru Forester? Yeah. It's as if this 30-year-old just got his license in the last year. The P plates do make it not look great. So they would be able to be like, oh, well, this pee plate, an arsehole, this 18-year-old.

Some kid. Has borrowed his mum's car. Do they have pee plates in other countries? Oh, I don't know. So in Australia, basically it's a pee plate that basically tells the rest of the traffic. That you're in your first three years. Yeah, that you're a new driver.

Yeah. Which is sort of like supposed to be like, don't be too mean, but really it's like fucking kids. Oh, well, as soon as you see a P plate, they're fault. Yeah, they're fault. It's like you can blame someone because they've got P plates on. So are you saying that the new anxiety is you're going to get blamed for someone else's shitty past?

What if I have to, yeah, like make up for their crap? Valid anxiety. And so then we get back to the car after the craft park. What if I have to, yeah, like make up for their crap? Valid anxiety. And so then we get back to the car after the craft fair and we've spent a little bit of money and we're feeling a bit giddy about our little like foggy coffee we had. I actually bought a sourdough knife that has a guide on it because I'm way into sourdoughs. And you cut them on angles?

And I'm cutting it like a wedge of fucking cheese, man. And you should have bought two because, fuck, the angles our sourdough ends up on. Do you want to know, actually, I bought it, right, and we were leaving the market and I said, I should have gotten one of those for Bridget and I've actually ordered one online for her. Oh, isn't that nice?

Thank you. Because I was like, I should have bought two of those. Bridget's banned me from cutting the sourdough because I'm cutting triangles and angles and fucking wedges. Oh, I was so bad at it. And because when you're doing it, you like shove your hand down. So if one, this is the same conversation.

It actually is because if you leave it on the pierce, if you leave it on the pierce. Does the next guy stay on the pierce or does he have to even it up? Questions. Yeah, is it your responsibility to try and even this up or do you make up for the lost fuck of the other person with a wedge of bread oh i'm gonna get some anyway yeah so brand new anxiety yeah so you've come back you park like a fuckhead to help another person act like not a fuckhead so there's one spot left in melbourne and we had to park there so you've

got all your cool shit from the market. You're coming back to the car park. The X-Trail's gone. Fuck. X-Trail's gone. They've fucking joined down. Has it been replaced by a new car? Yeah.

And have they parked straight? Yeah, they have. So now you're just a fuckhead on your own sideways in your mum's Forrester. In your mum's Subaru Forrester with P-plates on it. Yeah. Did you pretend that like it wasn't your, like the Torbz is just like your driver? I get in the back seat.

I don't even sit in the back. Oh, sir, why did you pull it around like this? I'm like, put a hat on, put a little hat on so it looks like you're my servant. Well, on behalf of the Lodge and the Toblerones, I would like everyone who attended the market on Sunday to know that it wasn't Tony's fault. Thank you.

Or Torbz's fault. Yeah, bless him. It was the X-Trails fault. Fucking X-Trails. Is that why you drive, James? Where were you on Sunday? Oh, yeah, actually, great question. No comment.

No comment. Yeah, righto. Actually, I've got a new hobby. I'm going to drive around and park like a fuckhead and then pull out and then like take photos and name and shame other cars. And be like, oh, nice one, fuckhead. Yeah, and then go to like, I'm sure there's a Facebook group called like Market Parkers.

I actually get this Facebook group suggested to me all the time and it's like shit parkers in Perth. Yes. And it's literally people in Perth like posting shitty parks in like the livingston fucking shopping center and stuff it's insane well let's start that but we'll create them by what if we just okay no better idea we start a thread in our facebook group and it's called tar parking tony and ryan parking and if you see a shit park you can pop that yeah and if you see a ship parked, you can pop that in there. And if you see a black Audi A3 parked badly, don't you fucking post a photo of it just in case it was me.

Can I? Yes, and your idea? Yes. Instead of shaming other people, let's make a game of it. Who can deliberately do the worst park? No. No way. do the worst park no no way i will create a tony and ryan merch pack and to give to the winner a hoodie a hot girl tumbler a few stickers and a beanie

it has to be a public car park with other cars around and it has to be safe you have to have parked safely but you need to park like a fucking like a jerk off yeah okay yep tar parking tar parking bring it and it's we'll do a reaction video we'll leave it live for like a week you've got it what day is it today so it's tuesday today next confession next week confessions yep we'll talk about this after fuck, no, I want to give people the chance to really go hard. They've got a week. Okay, you've got a week. We have to cut it off sometime.

Everyone's just parking like a dog for the rest of the year. Okay. Watch this space. Challenge set. Amazing. Fuck. I've got a love to see here from Charlotte. And this had real, so I felt really good about putting myself

out of my comfort zone on the weekend. And this has real, so I felt really good about putting myself out of my comfort zone on the weekend. And this has similar energy. Charlotte says, the other day I ordered an oat cap from a cafe in Sydney, upper North Shore area. Did she tongue the cup? She didn't know that, from what I can tell. But she says, and it tasted really burnt. Like the coffee tasted a bit burnt.

And look, a coffee now costs six seven dollars it's too expensive for them to fuck it up you can't just walk away you know um so i asked politely if it would be okay for them to remake it for me uh charlotte says not only did they remake it for me and asked me to try it to make sure like i was happy with it um but they gave me a little muffin as an apology for the burnt coffee and said oh so, so sorry that that one was a bit off, but, like, here you go. Oh, and a little treaty for a sorry. Charlotte says, shout out to Evolve Coffee in Wurrunga. You love to see it.

You do love to see that. That's really cool. And good on you for being like, oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, asking. That's so nice of that barista and the people that work there to be like, you know what, sorry about that. This thing happens. Now, I'm not suggesting any ill will from our Yulop Seder.

Charlotte. But is naming the cafe shouting them out or outing them? Oh, should I have not said that? You know what I'm saying, though? Oh, I do. But they handled it really well, but still. Should we take out me saying the coffee name? No, Charlotte's the one that said it, mate.

No. Don't shoot the messenger. Sophie? I think everyone has a chance to make a mistake. You know, like the barista. Yeah, but they handed it well. Made a mistake, but handed it well. Okay, let's dig with it.

So I reckon saying the cafe would be like, no, go there. They're really, they're good. Oh, Le Conti's. Good cappuccino makers. Yeah, on the second one, yeah. So good on you, Charlotte. Thanks for sharing that. Sorry, should I have not said the cafe?

You made, oh. No, it's good because, again, yeah, everyone makes mistakes. Yeah. So, yeah. It's a sign of a good restaurant if they fix it. Yeah, because they care. And they go, oh, fuck. Sorry, mate.

You have a muffin. Yeah. Want to get a muffin after this? Yeah. Do you like a sweet or a savory? A muffin. You know what I love? An orange and poppy seed muffin because they're always hell moist.

I love orange and poppy seed as well. Do you actually? Yeah. Because it's not very common. No, I love it. Do you really? But you never see them on the menu. You never see them.

They're the best. Do you know where they do have a fucking elite orange and poppy seed? Please say near here. 7-Eleven. Is there a 7-Eleven near here? They do have a fucking elite orange and poppy seed? Please say near here. 7-Eleven. Is there a 7-Eleven near here? They've got an elite fucking orange and poppy seed. So, yes, there is a 7-Eleven near us. They have elite orange and poppy seeds at 7-Eleven.

I don't know. We can Google it after this, but that's a good muffin. But do you know what I do like when you go to a little cafe and they've got like a bacon and cheese like muffin or scone or whatever? What about a pumpkin and feta? Oh, spinach and ricotta scone. Come in my arsehole. They used to do those at Baker's Delight.

Do they still make those? Let's find out. We've got a mission to do after this show. We've got to go to fucking Baker's Delight. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Kristen, now this is related to what you were talking about before. Hey, Kristen. I'm starting a new job today.

Congratulations. Congratulations. And I was scared of being late and didn't know what the parking situation would be like. You never know. Luckily I came in. The traffic was good. It was really easy to get a car park and I'm 45 minutes early for work. Relatable. Relatable chat. So

I'm sitting in my car listening to a Tony and Ryan episode to pass the time. Oh, well, good luck. I hope the first day went well. Yeah, I hope it goes well. But I think the Tony and they've sort of a nod to the Tony Lodge energy of get in early, get the park right. ABP, always be prepared. Always be prepared.

We're off to fucking sauce this orange and poppy seed muffin, so we've got to go. Yeah. I've also got a conundrum about your childhood home. So I want everyone to think about their childhood home and then tomorrow on the show i've got a question for you i need your help all right advice before i do something oh gosh i'm going to kentucky love you bye