Toni and Ryan - Growlers

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

Please tell me other people didn't know?!?! Love ya!!! Toni xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. My name is Tony Louise Lodge. This is Ryan Jonathan Dunn. And together, we're Tony and Ryan. Thank you. Yeah. It felt very stern and formal. It did feel quite formal. We're calling Becca, who is in Dublin. Or how they say it.

Dublin. Did you get the right number or did you Dublin them up? Hello? Hello? Becca, it's Tony and Ryan. Hi, Tony and Ryan. Top of the morning to you. And to you. You're asking for an approval?

Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was going to just try out some more Irish slang, but I realized I didn't have any more. Would you mind approving the podcast? Even for that terrible accent. Are you sure? Are you sure? Hi, this is Becca from Dublin, Ireland, and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today.

Actually, you're going to learn many things today. Not only are we going to learn something about your partner, Torbs, which we're all going to love. Am I going to love it as well? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Are you about to show me a screenshot of a fucking Tinder profile of his or something and I'm like fucking. I'll swipe on this. Yeah, Yeah. Oh, my God. Are you about to show me a screenshot of a fucking Tinder profile of his

or something? And I'm like, fucking. I'll swipe on this. Yeah, okay. But also coming up, Tony has learned something at age 29 that Cam and I both went, really? But I do feel like, maybe not this specific example, but I feel like everyone's got that one thing that they learnt

a little bit later than probably everyone else and it's a little bit embarrassing and you're like, oh, did I only just realise this now? Can I add a caveat to that though? I don't think that I've really learnt anything because I don't know that it's actually a thing. Like, you can't just tell me something and think that you've taught me something, you know't just tell me something and think that you taught me something.

You know what I mean? Well, I didn't tell you. The world presented it. Yeah, we'll get to that. You know what I mean, though? Well, we'll let everyone else decide. But if you want to back it in hard, please. I would love nothing more.

Why does this always happen to me? I have copped it for, like, six episodes in a fucking row. I have copped it for like six episodes in a fucking row. I have copped it. Now, here's the issue, I think. And do we want to get deep and meaningful here? I don't know. I'm just feeling very attacked. I'm on the defensive.

No, I can feel that. And I feel like if we nip that in the bud, it'll fix everything else. Because when I say I've learned something awesome about Torbs, you go, what the fuck's happened? Why did they run's happened why i just assume something's wrong see what i mean yep okay lay it on me i know let's do confessions first okay oh hang on what is the thing what's the thing that you learned about torbs is that a confession no not from me oh okay These are top confessions. Our top confessions, Tony and Ryan podcast confessions.

Yeah, people submit them at TonyandRyan.com.au. The first one is called Ice Balls. Hi, Ice Balls. I once ruined a child and I feel terrible. Oh. We're at the ski fields and these high school kids throw a snowball at me and I casually threw one back. You know, wholesome family vibes playing in the snow.

So is that so, because I didn't grow up with snow, is that playful or is that nasty? I think it definitely, you know, the venom behind the throw, maybe if you kind of lob it over versus like really ripping it in hard. Like ditching it at someone. I think the fact they're on the ski, it's not just in the street, like in the ski field where you literally, oh, let's go to the snow for the day and play in the snow.

Yeah, because you can imagine how a poorly received snowball would go down. Wow. Welcome to our confession. Oh, okay. It was really wholesome and fun until one of the kids, it actually hit me on the back of the neck and the coldness dripped down the back of my shirt and sent literal shivers down my spine. And when you're in the snow or like real cold weather,

you've got like a few layers on. And when it gets to the bottom of the layer and you go, fuck, I'm not going to get warm now. Yeah. Like, cause you're fucked. Snow down the back. Oh. I felt this competitive rush through my body

and I felt like I needed to settle the score. I do get like that. So I can appreciate the feeling that has overcome you in that time. We were just playing. Oh, but you've hit me in the back of the head now. Yeah. And that's gone down my ass now. No, we're fucking on now.

And we're fucking on here. Yeah. So I load up a pretty solid snowball. You know, you crush it to make it a little bit harder. It's not like light and fluffy, but you really nailed it in there. Maybe there's a little rock in there or something. Gave it a... Tony.

Sorry. I saw that on TV once. Gave it a big wind up. gave it a big wind up, threw it and hit this girl square in the face, knocking her off her feet, removing a tooth and giving her a blood nose. Turns out these weren't teenagers.

I realized this as I heard her. Oh, come on, man. She's only 10 years old. So this 20-year-old thought he was pegging it at like a 16-year-old. It was a 10-year-old girl. How did he not realize it? Like significantly changing. Well, on the ski fields, everyone's just wearing 15 layers. And you got your goggles on.

Yeah, and it's foggy. Who's to say? Fuck. It was thick, white's foggy and like who's this you know it's hard who's to say it was it was thick white foggy day and on the ski fields most people kind of just looked the same so in a panic i just sort of skied off later at the lodge you'd feel you would feel awful you would feel really skied off and was a bit sheepish going back to the lodge i bet but. But when they arrived at the lodge, they heard this story. Apparently an adult had taken out a 10-year-old

and I pretended to be shocked and outraged. See, that's the thing. You've got a disguise on. Oh, what? You've got a disguise on so you can get away with it. And even though I knew it was me, I pretended to be scared and shocked. And I even said, if I ever found out who did this. Oh, my God.

But, you know, when, like, you're with a group of people and, like, no matter how large the crime, but someone's like, oh, you know, you can understand where they were coming from and you go, well, it was obviously you. So this guy's like, oh, well, it is hard to see up there. In defense of whoever did it. Yeah, like, you know, you can see it from both sides, can't you? Join the mob.

Yeah, you have to. Mob mentality. It's an all-on, all-in, stacks on. Thank you for sharing that with us, Iceballs. That poor little girl. Oh, my God. Poor little girl. This guy has to live with that.

She's got dentures now. She's only 11 years old. She's got a little fakie in there. She's on the pumpkin soup. She can't have solids. Casual work flinger confesses. Casual work flinger. Have. Casual work flinger. Have you had a workplace fling?

In the last half an hour, I have. Is that where you and Cam went? Would you like one? A fling with you? No, just like a workplace fling. Not with anyone that I work with at the moment. I used to work with Torb, so I'd have a workplace fling with him. You did have a workplace fling with him.

So weren't you his boss? Is that like a power dynamic we need to discuss? Nah, well, because he's a lot older than me. So? Are you saying that if you're a boss and your employee is older, you get to have your way with them? No, that's not. Whoa.

Okay, that is fucking. That sounds like that's what you're saying. That's not what I said at all. So he, I was his boss like on production, not like he's like paying like actual employee, employer. I didn't employ him. He was just on my team and I was in charge of the team. I'm trying to make it sound as good as possible.

That's what a boss is. If he's on a team and you're in charge of the team, you're his boss. Anyway, yeah, workplace flinger. My name is Shmoney Smudge. Yeah. And I was once managing a bunch of producers. I didn't employ them though.

I didn't do it. Casual work flinger confesses, I had a massive crush on an older man from work who had this Pedro Pascal daddy energy about him. Nice. We got put on this big project together, so we ended up spending lots of time together and going to team dinners. And after one of those team dinners, he ends up back at my place

and we hooked up and it was awesome. Is this the thing about Torbs? Because that does sound a little bit like what happened. That does sound – anyway. You're saying Torbs has got Pedro Pascal energy. In this situation, I would be the Pedro Pascal tickets. You have to hold your tickets. But yeah, anyway, keep going.

So they hooked up. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. Back pedal lodges in there. It's not about Torbs. Good. But I just keep reading stuff out. And then you're like, oh, yeah, that's me. Well, that does sound like...

Anyway. But I just keep reading stuff out and then you're like, oh, yeah, that's me. Well, that does sound like, anyway. We were both clear and said it was just hookups and casual and nothing else. Oh, isn't that just the fucking catch cry of let's get in a huge, serious relationship? Well, Casual Work Flinger says, I eventually found my dream boy,

not just to bang, but to actually date and to actually love. And so when you find that love, then you go, well, I can't really be banging this other guy now. Well, no. Yeah. I would think not. So a few months later, I am with the dream boy. Yeah.

And I go to meet his parents. Fuck off. Fuck off. And it turns out his dad, who is happily married to his mum, was the Pablo Pascal guy I banged about 15 hours earlier and many times over the- Pablo Pascal. Pedro.

Pedro Pascal. It was the same guy I'd banged about 15 hours earlier before being introduced to him, and it happily banged many times over the last six months. How did it never come up that you worked at the same place as his dad? How did that never come up? Great question. Great question.

Can you imagine, like, so you and I, right, Tony and Ryan, we're on a date and you go, oh, okay, yeah, soften your cock, all right. What? Like, talk down. Okay, yeah. Soften your cock, all right? What? Like, talk down. T-O-R-Q-U-E, not talk like T-O. Anyway, yeah, we're on a date, right? And I go, oh, so what do you do for work?

And you go, oh, I work at Coles. And I go, oh, I work at Woolworths in Maddington. And you go, oh, my dad works there. Like there's just no way that you wouldn't make the connection instantly that you worked at the same place or in the same industry at the very least. I get in the Woolworths-Maddington industry there might be close quarters. However, you know how in the previous confession you were like, oh, the one defending it, that makes them seem guilty? Yeah.

I'm conscious of that. i reckon why because i'm sticking up for the guy who i'm not on their side either but no crimes have been committed this is just an unfortunate situation so torbs as an example oh actually no he was cheating on the mum yeah that is a, yeah, okay, sorry, a social crime. I don't know the company Torbs works directly for. So in a big city, if you go, I work in IT in a consulting firm. Oh, my dad's in IT. Like in a big company, it's pretty easy to not get into details about the department your dad works in. I just think that.

Like if I knew another guy in IT, if I met a guy in IT, I would go, Torbz works in IT. You guys must know each other. Yeah. No, no, no. So I hear what you're saying. Yeah. But if you were on a date with someone or you were dating someone or you had decided

that you were in love, you would absolutely know what company they worked for. I get like surface level, you would go, oh, I work in IT and they go, okay. Like surface level, you would go, oh, I work in IT. And they go, okay. But if you actually were dating someone, you would go like, yeah, I work in IT for Woolworths. They go, oh, my God, my dad works for Woolworths as well. Like there's just, I just find there's no way that you wouldn't know it was, I mean, unless the situation was that like she worked,

was consulting for someone and he was like project managing, but they didn't work for the same business. Like, you know, there are ways of that kind of like passing, but it would be a very convoluted situation. She also doesn't know. Oh, sorry. Like the new boy doesn't know that she's like still banging some older guy. Well, no.

So like if you were suspicious, you might put two and two together. But when you're not. Yeah. You just wouldn't have. We're both adults. She's hooked up with someone in the past, whatever. Yeah. No further questions, Your Honour.

So what do you think that you would do if you walked in and you met your partner's parents and you were either having a relationship with them or had had in the past do you say something well here's the thing okay the girl actually let me read this next line first okay turns out there'd been a few months where i was being generationally tunneled tunnel brothers yep that would actually be tunnel brothers the dad and the son yeah so i've watched a porn a lot before. What? No, nothing. No, what?

I didn't say anything. It sounded like you did. You were always saying something. No, I'd never. What do you mean? Anyway. No, but like, you know. Stepson?

Stepbrother? I feel like it's always steps. These things pop up. Sorry, can you just keep going with the confession, please? Do they pop up? Yeah. going with the confession place do they pop up yeah so she admits that maybe she didn't wrap up the casual fling as soon as she should have because you know you kind of like phase it out you're petering out or whatever and you also don't want to probably hurt not that i've ever been in

this situation but you also probably don't want to hurt the other person yeah so you kind of like want to go oh i really enjoy so she really likes the sun So she doesn't want to say, oh, I've been banging this other guy. There was a bit of crossover. She doesn't want to admit that. The dad's still married. So he's not going to say anything because he's still married. So he's obviously like, don't fuck with her. And the girl's like, well, I don't want to say anything because.

I don't want to break my boyfriend's heart and his family up. Yeah. You know, like what a fucking blow that would be. Don't say blow. Sorry. But can you imagine being like, oh, I'm actually fucking someone else. And he goes, oh, my God. Are you serious?

You go, yeah, it's your dad. He's cheating on your mom. Like, see ya, though. Yeah, because she really liked the boy. Oh. I felt a bit gross about it. But I think it's more gross that a boy I kissed on the mouth hours earlier had his entire dad's dick in that very same mouth.

Wow. Well, you're the one that made that weird. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, she should have wrapped things up with Pablo. Pedro. Pedro. So, I really don't.

I think that you can't just – I think you'd just be anxious all the time that one of them was going to find out. And then what? And then you found out to have not said anything all along? Or then like does your boyfriend go to use your phone one day and goes, oh, I've just got to call my dad. And he like types the number in and then it comes up and it's like big cock Pedro or something. It's like, it's already saved.

Do you know what I mean? Like 70,000 messages. Yeah. I'll just text my dad. Yeah. Oh, can I? And the threads there of like, yeah, I can't believe my whole cock was in your mouth. And then you kissed your boyfriend. You know what I mean?

Like, like what? Like, I think you would just be on edge forever about that. Maybe the dad was also pissed that the girl was with someone else. He thought he had his own little fling going on and the cheater's being cheated on. And then the mum is the only one. Like, she doesn't know anything. You know what I mean?

Like, the mum, like, poor lady. Like, she's being cheated on by her husband of, I imagine, a significant amount of years. Yeah, to have a son in their 20s. A son who's, yeah. You know, like, that's awful. Oh, I don't have any advice. I know that you're not asking for it.

Yeah, I don't think anyone's asking for advice. But, like, I don't even know what you would do. The person, this is someone who listens to our podcast. Yeah, I know. This is, like, someone's life. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what you should do. That's horrible.

The whole time we've been talking about this and talking about he had like Pedro Pascal-esque daddy energy. I've actually just literally been picturing Pedro Pascal. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Yeah. Lucky girl. Very lucky girl. Yeah. Yeah. Lucky girl. Very lucky girl.

Yeah. I wonder if there's family resemblance with the son as well. You know what I mean? Like, has she got two Pedros on the go? Just a younger version? A couple of Pedros. Yeah. But the thing is, is that that's a really horrible situation.

I'm really sorry to hear that. Are you thrown? You're thrown. That's a really horrible situation. I'm really sorry to hear that. You're thrown. We can't message or reply to anybody that sends in a confession. What would you like to say to them? I would like for them to give us an update. Yeah. Like, I would love a follow-up. Okay.

If you're listening and you've made tracks on, like, if you- How did it finish? Surely you just break up with the unfortunately and then just move on but then for your whole life you're not like fuck i loved that guy because that's the other thing it's like oh if you think this is a real love connection but what if it isn't a love connection and you break up a whole family and like you don't know how they're gonna respond because i think that for the the person who's written us the confession right she is fairly innocent like she fucked someone at work she's now fucking this other dude and she's like hey sorry probably should have like tied up that loose end earlier

didn't realize it was your dad like she doesn't you know the dad is the one who's really fucking up yeah absolutely so it's like yeah he's the bad guy. She hasn't really, like, I just think, yeah, I would love, I would love an update of what's happened or if anything's changed since then. Can I put something else out there? Yeah. Be careful. You know how I. You're a dad now.

You know how there's this like really dumb thing where it's like, oh, the girl you're dating, take note of her mum, because that's probably what she'll look like in the future. Oh, dead. Oh, poor Torbs. Be all ashy. Ashy little gay. I'm a lot smaller in the future, that's for sure.

I take up a lot less room. It's a lot less. Yeah, it's a lot smaller in the future, that's for sure. I take up a lot less room. It's a lot less. Yeah, it's a lot less, yeah. Producer Ken's fucking, he's gone. Her dream boy grows up to look like Pedro, but she knows that he's a keeper. Oh, she's seeing the future. Yeah, and she likes it. Yeah, and she likes what she sees and cops, yeah.

I'd love an update. That, and she likes it. Yeah, and she likes what she sees and cops. Yeah. I'd love an update. That'd be great. Yeah. We're just going to have to take a break because Cam is fucking losing it. Still to come, Tony learns something and what you didn't know. Okay.

About Toblerone. Hi, this is Becca from Dublin, Ireland and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapions from the Patreon. Natasha, Amy Burns, love to see it. Thanks, Ames. Michael Geyer, Joe McClintock, and Maddie White. Burns love to see it, thanks Ames Michael Guyer, Joe McClintock and Maddie White, absolutely love to see it if you would like to become part of our

Patreon and contribute to us hopefully doing the live stream hopefully slash not hopefully then please join our Patreon, you can check everything out, there's heaps of cool shit to be able to watch the live stream exclusive and champion TARPA levels, yep, so get involved a minute for every Patreon to be able to watch the live stream, exclusive and champion Tapa levels. Yep.

So get involved. A minute for every Patreon. And we've got to get to 3,000 for us to do it. So keep them coming. And for those listening on Spotify, which is everyone, hit the follow button so you don't miss a thing. Love you. Bye.

No, it's not the end. Sorry. Keep going. You're flustered, aren't you? Yeah, I am because I really don't miss a thing. Love you. Bye. No, it's not the end. Sorry. Keep going. You're flustered, aren't you? Yeah, I am because I really don't know what this is. Yep. Well, you know what the first bit is. Oh, yep.

Someone mentioned the half flush and the full flush of the toilet the other day. And at age 29, Tony Lodge said, half flush, full flush, what? I still don't really get it. So. You've got it in your house, two of them. No, I think we only have one button. Do we? Oh.

See, I just have never thought about it so you've never seen a toilet that's got two buttons no i have so what do you think the buttons were i just press one and they both do the same thing in my mind i was like they do the same thing like you know how like a reset button and like a cancel button on a calculator, both reset the calculator to zero. You know? Yeah. Yeah. I just thought it was just two reset buttons.

Two flushes. So how do you feel now in the cold, hard light of day, knowing that one of them is a half flush, maybe if you just did a little wee? Because, you know, in Australia, we're in, I don't know about Western Australia, but childhood, we're in drought. Yeah, it was the same in WD. Yeah, save all the water you can.

So if you just did a little wee, you don't need to do a big full flush, you just do a little half flush. But like, what's the difference? Less water. Less water. It's half the flush. But then why aren't they just all half flush then? Because sometimes you need a full flush.

You need a full flush. Oh. So if you've done a full go. A growler. A G B. A what? A growler. Because sometimes you need a, and now that, and we don't want to.

That sounds like an ad. Sometimes you need a full flush. Sometimes you need a growler. No, sometimes you do a growler. You full flush. Sometimes you need a growler. No, sometimes you do a growler. You never need a growler. I'm feeling a bit bloated. You need a growler. Okay, now that you've – no, that's not right.

I don't want this to be about the growling or to get it overly graphic, but now that we've thought about it a little bit, does it kind of make sense that you might have a half and a full flush? But, like, so the reason this came up was because producer Cam said the last few places, I've been heaps of places recently where the half flush doesn't work, only the full flush works.

In that situation, if they're not both being plumbed, I guess, or connected or whatever, then what is the point? Well, if they're broken, then that's a different story. No, no, no. But if it's happened multiple places, then all evidence would lead, from this social experiment, obviously, it's like just a, you know, what's the word? Observation.

Yeah. That it's like if they're not being plumbed in or whatever, they obviously don't make that much of a difference. Have you guys actually done, like, Ryan, did you actually do any research into whether this actually does stuff? Because as I've said. I actually just trust the science. As I've said in the past, sometimes stuff is just places.

And I wonder if this is like that. Well, we have learned, Tony, that the toilet seat lid isn't just stuff being places. It has a function. And I know you know this. And that's fine. Because you've been sent, like I have, a million fucking times. 65 billion times. But what I want to know is that, like, did you actually do a Google

or have a bit of a fucking flick around the internet and see whether you're actually right? The difference between, imagine if that was like my auto. Yeah, that just filled in. I just, I think that what like my auto. Yeah, that just filled in. I just, I think that what I want to know is, yeah, whether that, whether it is actually a thing. Are you saying it could be like greenwashing? Like a marketing gimmick.

Yeah. The half flush option uses half the amount of water as a full flush and is recommended for liquid waste. The full flush option is designed for the disposal of solid waste. Okay, so it is the thing. All right. So my one Hail Mary has not worked. Although, to be fair, and I think this is what you're saying,

if you just had two buttons that did the same thing, I'm not there checking. Well, that's what I mean. And you obviously – Are you calling out Big Plum? No, I'm just saying – Big Plummer. It would be like I would believe if everyone goes,

oh, that makes a difference, but it doesn't actually. Because there are lots of things that you go, oh, if you do that, that happens, but it's all, you know. You know that like big recycling? You know, they say like you've got to separate all your stuff, but it all just goes to one place when the tips are full. I've heard that. Tony, are you locking that in?

No, I'm not locking that in. Because that's a big accusation. No, I'm just saying that someone has said that to me in the past, and I was like, well, I'm still going to continue to separate my recyclables, et cetera, but does it all, in fact, just get lumped in together? The half flush float is positioned halfway up the valve body and is operated by the half flush button above. Both the full flush float and the half flush float are connected to the seal below.

They are not, however, connected to each other and lift the seal independently of one another. I'm so sorry. I tuned out. I was just concentrating on reading out loud. Yeah, I literally. And I can't read out loud and absorb it the same. My brain actually was like the monkey with the symbols. Could have just read anything.

I could have confessed to murder. I have no idea what just happened. You know what? I'm just going to trust that they are different because I don't want you to read that again. Thank you. Did you have a moment of like, you know, okay, hypothetically if Cam and I were onto something.

Yeah, hypothetically. Hypothetically. Yeah. Did you have a moment of like, fuck, have I walked past this a million times in my life and never thought about it? Yeah, that is exactly what I'm like. Oh, I just, and because I've never been in a situation

and I don't know if this is just me, I've never been in a situation where I've hit flush and my poo or wee hasn't gone down oh fucking tickets so hey you have you have to hold it you have to hold um but so that's never happened to me so i've never been like oh the half didn't work better press the full like i've just always pressed one or the other and it just works it's usually quite obvious which is the half and the full when you know. Yeah. Like one of the buttons is smaller, one of the buttons is bigger.

Have you ever noticed like the two, A, why is there two buttons and why are they sort of different? I just was like is one a backup or is one like to honestly I've just never really thought about it. And I definitely didn't think that they, even if at any point in my life I've gone, oh, they must be different. I'm like, well, they obviously aren't. Because for me, it's always functioned the same way. It's ridiculous to, why would you think otherwise?

Well, but if for me, I've never had a problem with either, why would I, like. I hear you, girl. I hear you. Do you? I hear you. Why are, like. I hear you, girl. I hear you. Do you? I hear you. Why are you, why? I just. You know that I'm not naturally really an inquisitive person.

I take things at face value. Yeah. Not because I'm. That's why you're a marketer's dream. Yeah, it is. But so people say like. You know what's better than one treadmill? Two.

Fucking sign me up. No more questions, your honor. You know how, like, if someone says Two. Fucking sign me up. No more questions, Your Honour. You know how like if someone says, oh, is this all good? I go, yeah. Because I just never push anything. If someone says no to me, I go, oh, the answer was no. Whereas like naturally. I don't think big button is lying to you.

No, no, no. I'm saying in general. Right. You don't question things. But no. So if someone said to you, like you said, can I do this thing? And they said, no, you'd go, oh, well, actually, I'm not going to take that no for an answer.

Where I happily go, oh, that's what's up. I trust everything that I hear. So I see the two buttons and I go, they're just both there. Like I don't have a naturally inquisitive mind about lots of things, I don't think. Okay. Am I really saying myself out as like a dumb person? I was about to say dumb.

We just said it, didn't we? Ken, we need to, yeah. Put a beep there. Yeah. But you know what I mean? Like, am I just, do I just sound like a fucking idiot? No. Okay.

Imagine this. I just take things at face value. If you, if you get home from work tonight. Yep. You walk into the lounge room. Yep. And there's a big red button just sitting on the coffee table. Yeah.

Are you going to go, hey, Torbs, what happens? What's that button? What happens if I press it? Probably. And if he goes, oh, just don't press it. And I go, okay. Yeah, and you would just accept that? Yeah.

How? What if I pressed it though? Because someone told me not to. And I took that. I take that. I'm naturally very trusting. Okay, Tony, don't take 50% of the earnings of this show. Thank you.

Oh, okay. Well, I wonder if people listening, and do you reckon it's like an Australian thing? Because you know how plumbing is weird in America? Because is it backwards? Yeah. Why does that happen? The hemisphere, gravity, is weird in America? Because he's backwards. It spins the opposite way. Yeah. Why does that happen? Oh, the hemisphere, gravity.

Fuck, who knows? Don't ask fuck questions. I don't know. I'm not an inquisitor. I just remember the episode of The Simpsons. Yeah, it's true though. And then it goes to like Antarctica or whatever and he just like knocks on the ice. He's like, yeah.

But I think in the US they don't often have the two. They just have the one little tap. Like the little. Oh, the one nozzle on the side. Yeah, so then I wonder. Because maybe they didn't have drought. I'm pretty sure it's because of the drought. They're like, how can we save water?

But then wouldn't it make more sense for all of them to just be a half? No, because you need the full. But still, I just feel like if it was a. Why would you use the half most of the time? It's like when they introduce the thing of like three-minute showers or whatever and it's like – Just trust the system. Yeah, it's like an honor system.

Yeah. But like you don't then go like – Yeah, so I'm going, Ryan, you've pressed half, but I think we both know that that was a growler. But if it was a half – if you only had a half option and then you needed more, obviously you could use your own discretion and do a double flush. But, like, why is a full one an option then if it's, like, for water conservation?

Well, you use a half most of the time. Yeah, so why isn't there only a half and you just double do a half? Oh, because sometimes you need a full. The two halves don't equal a full in this scenario. Oh, okay. See, I'm new to this yeah so i don't actually know yeah yeah nah fuck this is good isn't it is it i'm talking about fridges if that's more up your alley um all right let's get out of here i gotta do you wanna go first on

me i'll go first um i've got a love to see it from Kelsey Armstrong in our Facebook group Hey Kels So Kelsey says I finally picked up the courage to start my own little side business making dog treats, cakes and stuff like that Fuck yeah Which is fucking cute I'm absolutely loving it and while it's taking a little bit longer than I hoped to take off I'm still pushing ahead and persisting

Good for you I think you hear a lot about people going like I started this business and all of a sudden it's fucking amazing and it's all great. I'm really happy to hear, Kelsey, that you're just pushing along. Thank you guys for being an inspiration for me to start this. Kelsey, any time. If you drop the name of your business in the episode thread today

and we'll get everyone to bloody big up it or follow you on Instagram or whatever. I actually think all the brouhaha and the excitement and fucking Forbes articles about these like overnight successes do more damage than good because I agree. You go, oh, I started this little thing on the side. I'm not a billionaire four hours later. I've obviously failed. Yeah.

Where the reality is it's a long, slow slog that you just chip away at and like fucking good on it. And yeah, most people probably wouldn't share the part of their journey where it isn't going the way that they thought because yeah, it's like, oh, you just share that you're killing it. Well,

you only share the wins, right? Yeah. And it's like when, then when people on Instagram or whatever posts like, oh, I'm not doing so well. People are like,

oh, they're doing that for attention. Like if you only post the highlights, people are like, you only ever post the highlights. But if you post yourself doing shit, they go, oh, are you posting for attention? like you actually can't fucking win so just do whatever you want because it doesn't matter you could be the ripest juiciest peach and

there's still going to be someone that doesn't like peaches i can't actually take credit for that that's data von tess yeah tess tiff on who gives a fuck to any lodge that was incredible thanks um so just live your live your best life and live your truth. Live life well. I'll tell you something that fucks me right off. Oh, please. I was too nice just then. I need to be mean again. Speaking of like an eyes to be in like sort of

old podcast and business and finance there's a lot of like business experts and brouhaha and blah blah blah. And one of them I hated, this guy comes out and goes, oh, last year I had depression. I was the lowest that I've ever been and blah, blah, blah. And this is how I turned it around, which is a great story a lot of the time. But I was like, I followed you all of last year

and you were telling me how much you were killing it. Yeah. And it's like you only ever retrospectively go, oh, I was going through a tough time. Yeah. telling me how much you were killing it yeah and it's like you only ever retrospectively go oh i was going through a tough time yeah and like you you know you never see really people in like the trenches and i get that maybe that's not the time when you'd want to share that like you're being avoidant of that but like it's hard because then when you feel shit all you see around you is people that go well i used to be shit now i'm great and you go oh well yeah what about right now while i'm

shit but that whole time he was doing shit. He was telling me he was killing it and to sign up for his course so I could kill it like he is. Yeah. Yeah, it's not very nice, is it? Like I was believing your stuff and you weren't doing that. And it's fine that you weren't doing well, but you weren't telling me that.

You were saying it was all great. You were lying to me kind of. And it is tough. But then you go and here's how I turned around. I'm like, well, next year are you going to say, so the last two years. Yeah. And then all of a sudden you're like, well, which one is which?

Yeah. Good on that girl for calling out. Yeah, Kelsey, that's fucking awesome. I'm really happy for you. We'll big up your beers in the episode thread today. My love to say it is Tony's partner, Torbs. Yeah, round of applause for Torbs. We all know and love Torbs, don't we, Tony?

I know him. I love him. We found out during this podcast that he's a lot of things. And I think the day we found out he was the heir to the Torbler own fortune, we were like, whoa, that's fucking cool. What can't this guy do? What isn't this guy doing? What isn't this guy doing? What is he not capable of?

Uh-huh. I found out I'm... Could I not be more impressed? I've seen something today and I've gone, fuck, I thought I couldn't be more impressed with Tobs. And here it is. I'm even more impressed. I didn't know that he was in a...

There's a whole other industry he's in that I didn't know he was in. I'm just going to send you and Cam this picture and I think you'll both be impressed that the heir to the Torbjorn fortune

is venturing out into a different business. Sorry, I got it. What can't this guy do? So it's a... What can't he do? A train. That's a triangle. I don't get it.

It's so old. I don't get it. What can't he uh morefield crier i wonder if he's related to town um he He sent this through. That was funny. Then you fucking, you love to see it. So it's a train. That's the shape of like a Toblerone chocolate. Who owns them? Torps. And then it says, meanwhile, in Toblerone, a stand. What can't he do?

He's in the rail business now, the oldest and most honest industry. What can't he do? Is that him driving at the front? Yeah. I don't think so. No, it looks like an eight-foot Ford. He's like a big guy. No, I mean because he doesn't have his license.

Yeah, but he could drive a train because it's on rails. You don't need to steer it. This is just the worst thing that has ever happened. The worst? I don't want to do the marathon. Can I do in the marathon Ryan's hourly meme? No, fuck no. We won't.

Yeah, we will get to hour two and then I'll go, you know what? I've had enough. I've fucking had enough of you. What about a bi-hourly meme? So every second hour. What about you can do one meme? Per hour. Per marathon.

All right. Well, thanks so much for listening. It looks like the train looks like a Toblerone. And it says, meanwhile, in Toblerone, a stand, which... Josh, thanks for sending that in, just because some people don't have a fucking sense of humor. It's fine. It must be nine years old.

Don't. Josh, if you would like to come and hang out with me for 50 hours straight, we can talk about this meme. Yeah, okay. Will you guys let me know how you go? Thank you so much for listening. We're starting a competitor Patreon. If you're going to listen tomorrow, thank you.

I don't know. Sorry for serving up gold to everyone who listens. I apologise for being so fucking hilarious. You know what? I wish that that was the case. I wish the problem was that you served up gold and not a growler. That meme needs a full flush. I finally understand what it's for.

Don't half flush that meme out of my life. Give it the full dog. Tomorrow on the show. Tomorrow on the show, an investigation into fucking outside. Oh, nice. Yep. Also some more medical comedy returns. Great.

But until then, should I explain the meme again? Love you. Bye. It's a soft no. It's a hard no. There's nothing soft about it. Love you. Bye. It's a soft no. It's a hard no. There's nothing soft about it. Love you. Bye.

Oh my God. It's not that funny. It actually is that funny.