Toni and Ryan - Hakuna My-Tata's

Episode Date: February 11, 2024

We need to hear about what might be your most embarrassing memory: the first time you did the 'hipperty dipperty' as Ryan would say 😂 Love ya! xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, best-selling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. And I feel like we've said this name a few times. I don't know if it's just because it's a great name and it sticks out. Oh. Jordan Savage. Oh, Jordan Savage. Savage. Yeah, I was going to say it feels like a savage. I think Jordan's also a doctor. A savage doctor. I don't know if he's a doctor.

But he does have a PhD. Hello, this is Jordan. Jordan. This is Tony and Ryan. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing, man? I'm good, guys. How are you?

Yes, we're well. Do you know what? I like Jordan as like a girl's name as well. Like, have you ever met a Jordan that was like a, so you know how Tony can be like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I've known a couple of Jordans in my life. Yeah. It's a great name.

Jordan Sparks. Jordan Sparks. Yep. What does it feel like, Jordan, to speak to a fellow doctor in Tony Lodge? I mean, it's the greatest achievement of my career. It is mine as well. It's always good to talk shop with people that are on your level. How do you feel, Jordan, that you – how long did you study for

and what's your, like, title? I studied for a number of years, seven years, and then I'm just currently working in the hospital. So I don't really have a title just yet. I'm not a boss, but I'm not a baby either. Oh, but your title would be doctor and you've got like an M. Oh, yes. So how do you feel about someone like Tony that just one day writes a blog

and decides she's a doctor on the spot? Well, I mean. Does it undermine what you've done? No, I would say she is so powerful in herself that she just knows she's a doctor. Yeah. And actually, thank you. I really appreciate that Dr. Jordan Savage, actually. But what I will say is that if you want to take it up with anyone, take it up with my one, because it was actually them that decided this. Your loyalty card. Yes. You tick the wrong box and all of a sudden you're a doctor. I didn't want that responsibility.

I didn't ask for this. Why is she doing the open heart surgery? Well, there's this loyalty program in the department store. But Jordan, will you approve today's episode? I totally will. That's awesome. Legend. Hi, this is Dr. Jordan from Canberra, and I approve this podcast.

All right. Happy New Year. Happy Super Bowl. Even though it's Monday morning here, the Super Bowl is yet to happen. Yeah. We won't tell you who won. We won't ruin it. Nah, we're in the future.

Coming up today, Tony, what have we got? Speaking of the Super Bowl, a couple of athletes. I've got athlete chat. Really? Yeah. An update on how I'm going with my 5K running progress. Ooh, yes. So, yeah, just athletes doing athlete things. I was actually going to do the Super Bowl today,

but I was at the Taylor Swift concert in Tokyo. Oh, right. And I couldn't get out as fast as her, so I thought I'll just. Yeah, because you got chatty in customs. Yeah, and I do get chatty in customs. She would have to have had a customs plan. Keep your eyes down, no small talk. If you've got a private jet.

Yeah, just straight through, mate. I don't think they're fucking making you put your little fucking toiletries in a plastic bag, mate. Yeah, yeah, fair call, fair call. Surely not. We'll get to Tony's athletic chat soon. Sorry, do you actually get like- We have to go through customs.

Because you'd have to go through customs, but is it a private customs area where there's no line? Well, if you go to like a little private jet airport, they'll have its own little booth. Oh, would have its own thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. God, imagine the people you'd see in there. Yeah.

Like the other, because it's all people that are flying private. They're like the creme de la creme. You know how I went to the Bahamas on a private jet? With the girl, Lauren, who you're thinking on a plane? She liked your action on a public plane so much that she took you on a private plane. She took a private. Yeah, you touched her privates on a public plane and you touched her privates on a private plane as well. So we flew back from the Bahamas to the mainland.

I just feel like we just need to very quickly explain that. It was like her, she had a very rich family. Was it her brother? No, her sister was married to this guy. Yeah. So it sounds like Ryan was on a private jet. No, it was her family. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I think he worked, had some business interests in the Bahamas and, you know. Yeah, some offshore accounts. Actually, though, like it was sort of like I just, the less I asked, the better probably. And so we. How long were you there for? Was it hell fancy? Oh, yeah, it was nice. It was really, yeah, it was pretty nice.

It was pretty nice. I can't, being on a private jet, that is like. Oh, but we went to this island that like, it had one street, which was also sort of like the runway. So we'd have to like call ahead and go, get everyone off the street. We're going to land. How fancy is that? Well, it's not, because it's just, it's like an island and it's not.

Yeah, that they owned by the sounds of it. But it's not, I don't want to say third world, but it's like, you know, it's dusty and like real kind of rough. Yeah, well, like when you watch Fyre Festival, like it's beautiful, but there are parts of it where you're like, oh, it's not fully developed like areas. Yeah, fully developed. Because in the capital, it's all big hotels and fancy,

but this was sort of a bit rugged maybe is the word. Yeah. Anyway, so we get back and we fly and they go, oh, customs is over there. And we get in and they go, oh, have you, and I think we brought some like seafood and shit back. Which isn't like probably straight legal. So we get back and they go through customs. I go, oh, so these are your backpacks?

And we're like, yep. And they go, is there anything else? And I go, oh, yeah, we've got all those. And then I get that like kind of. You got the pinch on the arm. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like, oh.

Not my headphones on the arm. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, oh. Oh. Not my headphones on the plane. Yeah. I was like. Yeah. And I was like, oh, we've got, like, three other bags. And they're like, yeah. So I guess what I'm saying is Taylor Swift would just go, yeah, all good.

And they'll go, yeah, all good. Can I get a selfie for my daughter? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, anyway, so, yeah, I was going to obviously jump on the plane with her. But I got stuck in customs. And, yeah, so it's a bit of a thing.

But Tony, athlete chat coming up soon. First up, I want you to think about the first time you did the hippity-dippity. Was it a kind of hot memory or more likely maybe kind of awkward and cringe looking back on it because you were young and you were awkward and you didn't know what to do. Question. Yeah. Are we talking full hippity-dippity or, like, any hookup?

Because are they all kind of the same? I think hippity-dippity, but I think the reality is a lot of people's, like, this first time trying to do the hippity-dippity. Yeah. Because, like, I know that there was, like, like hooking up with people. Yeah. Because like, I know that there was like, like hooking up with people. Yeah. Was, is not like you did that long before you'd actually like had sex with someone.

I think we're talking about having sex with someone. Okay. Because, uh, well, if you haven't listened to the episode, Tony spewed on a stranger, I was going to say I recommend that episode, but I don't think I do recommend that episode. You can also read the story in my book if you like. Yep. Emily. Amelie?

Emily. Amelia. Amelia. Amelie the film? I don't know. Okay. She's been catching up on the podcast and recently heard that one. Oh, good on you.

Are we going with Amelia? Let's go with Amelia. Amelia, great. I love the name Amelia. Yeah, it's cool. Are we going with Amelia? Let's go with Amelia. Amelia, great. I love the name Amelia. Yeah, it's cool. It's so pretty. She said, if Tony was willing to share, then I guess so am I. Oh, feel free to not, Amelia, actually.

Like, I'll give you permission to not. Well, I mentioned this on Friday, but if you remember your first time as being kind of weird and awkward and cringe, at least it wasn't Amelia. So let's all leave this thinking, well, at least mine wasn't as cooked as that. Oh, okay. We're in the backseat of his car in a Walmart parking lot. Cool.

I've been in a Walmart parking lot and they are well lit. Very well lit. Yeah. It doesn't just sound romantic already though. Oh, and the back of the car. And you know that the car was probably like his mum's car. A little old marina that you can barely fit into the back of the car. And you know that the car was probably like his mum's car. A little old marina that you can barely fit into the back of. Yeah, or like a people mover.

Like if they've got little brothers and sisters, there's a kid's seat in the back and stuff. So 10 years ago, Toni, if a boy says, oh, well, before we get into the back seat, I'll put a song on. Kind of set the mood. Okay, yeah. What song? Like if you were to pick a song out of nowhere.

Ten years ago. Shit. Or just from your child, like when you were a teen. Yeah, I remember there was this song by the, I don't even know if you'd remember this song. It was by the band Sick Puppies. Was that what they were called? I can't even remember what it was.

Yeah, that sounds romantic. It was called All The Same and it was like this real slow song. I reckon people would know it. And I remember like making out. This is really like embarrassing. I remember making out with my high school boyfriend and like that song playing and being like feeling very important. Like it's a bit of a core memory.

And like that and I'm also like All-American Rejects. Yes. Like that kind of vibe is like where my mind is going. How good are All-American Rejects? They are good, yeah. Shout out. Like Evermore. You know that song, Light Surrounding You?

My friend Em's in the video clip of that song, yeah. But do you know what I mean? Like that kind of vibe is like where I'm going. That was a great song and a great makeout song. Yeah, so that's the kind of energy that I'm bringing. So Amelia got the Lion King soundtrack and the boy played Can You Feel the Love Tonight? And Amelia says, I burst out laughing,

which I don't think is the mood that he thought was good. He's like, hey, babe, I'll put a song on. Can you feel me? But also then they're kissing and that song ended and then it was like, oh, I just can't wait to be king. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata, yeah. But, oh, that is so funny. So she's like. Hakuna Matata. Hakuna Matata. Yeah. But, oh, that is so funny.

So what, so she started laughing. She just burst out laughing. Oh. And he's like really embarrassed. He's like, oh, you know, it's like a love song. He was really trying. So, and excuse the. Directness.

Directness of this next sentence. Oh. He then goes to put it in. But it didn't feel like I expected it would feel. Oh, yep. Everyone would say that it would hurt on the first time, but it felt fine for me even though it was a bit weird. Okay.

But it definitely wasn't painful. Yeah, that's fine. It's not painful for everybody just so that you don't feel weird if it wasn't painful for you. I just assumed what I thought it would feel like, but it didn't. That's not what it felt like. But, again, how would you know? You know, first time or whatever.

Well, I guess you could make it. Oh, if you'd been finger bashed before, you'd maybe have an idea. It wasn't until he finished that I realised that instead of putting it in my hoo-ha, he was actually putting his peen between my ar ass and the car seat to get that. With me on my back, there was enough friction between the seat and my ass for him to just come all over the car.

And he was like, oh, is that good for you? And she was like, I don't really think that was. And she didn't know. She was like, oh, this that good for you? And she was like, I don't really think that was. And she didn't know. She was like, oh, this just must be what it feels like. Oh. Two questions from Amelia. Okay. For Tarpers.

Two questions. One, does this count as my first time or not? That's a very good question. Because people, you know, like when you get, oh, you remember your first time? She's like, well, I don't actually know if it was this one or this other time. And question two, and this is what Amelia says,

does anyone have a worse story than me? Already the answer's no, but I'll ask it anyway and you can let us know on the episode. Oh, I'd love to. I'd love to know. Does it count? Does it count? I mean, I think that we get to choose whether things count or not.

Like if then the next time was awesome or she goes, I'm just going to erase that from my memory. Then you're allowed to do that. You're allowed to do that. That's allowed. But if you want it to count because you're like wanted to tell your friends that you had sex, totally counts. Yeah.

You know, you can make these things work for you. Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story. Never have. You know? Do you remember your first time? I do. Was it awkward or was it just fine? Because mine wasn't really awkward.

The lights were on. It was very awkward. I thought it would be like a film and it wasn't. I think that like as an adult who now lives in their own house, the awkward thing is you both live at home. And your mum and dad are in the next room. And there's like someone around. The telly's on.

You're hearing fucking deal or no deal in the other room. Oh, I'm going to a party and I'm going to hook up with this person. Then you go, yeah, but I'm at a party. Where am I? Where are we going to do that? Logistics chat. Yeah. And the logistics genuinely gets in the way of having a good time

because you're like, I'm trying to enjoy myself, but I'm also trying to keep it down and do something I don't know what I'm doing. And you're all just rubbing your bits together. You don't know what you're doing. Like sex isn't really good until you actually like figure it out. Figure it out, yeah. And even when people are like, oh, I had the most amazing one-night stand,

I'm like, well, in my experience that hasn't been the case because I'm like, if you just sleep with someone, like the first time you sleep with them, it's like not that good normally. Figuring it out. Yeah, you don't really know what they like. So I'm just concentrating on saying figuring properly. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you can finger it out as well.

But no, you're right, sometimes it takes a while to go, oh, yeah, this works for you. Yeah, okay. I do remember the very, like, specifically remember the first time that, like, Torbs and I hooked up. Yeah? Yeah. How was it? It was actually awesome.

Really? Yeah. Which is, again, not very common, I don't think. Yeah, but is that? Oh, my. You okay? Sorry, I've got to stop playing with it. I just broke part of the microphone.

I'm just thinking about Torbs. You just want to do something with your hair. I'm thinking about Torbs. Oh, my God. I'm going to stop playing with it. I just broke part of the microphone. I'm just thinking about Torbs. You just want to do something with your hair. I'm thinking about Torbs. Oh, my God. I'm going to grab something. Fuck. How do I say this delicately? Oh, no.

Was it awesome? This isn't a bad thing. Was it awesome because you and Torbs had got practice elsewhere, so by the time you guys hooked up, you both kind of got past that awkward phase. You kind of know what you're doing a bit better. And had an idea of, yeah. I think it is probably a bit of that because you're a bit older and also maybe a bit more confident to be like, oh, maybe. Yeah.

And then so did you, where were you? Redacted. No, you can't redact. Yeah, it's redact. I can't. I don't think it is. I can't. Just mouth it to me and I promise I won't share.

I actually, I could not actually tell you because it was one of three places. Like, did the session moved around? Well, no, no, no. It was either the kitchen bench or the lounge table. No, no, no. So, like, where we hooked up and where we slept together for the first time and where we kissed for the first time were all different places. Okay.

And they were all awesome. But the first time we slept together was like at my home. Okay. Yeah. At the family home. Yeah, like he came over. Didn't he? Yeah.

Yeah. All over. Yeah. That was amazing. By the advent. Hi, this is Dr. Jordan from Canberra and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Yeah. Hi, this is Dr. Jordan from Canberra, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas. That's Tony and Ryan podcast over at our Patreon.

Hopefully these are some of the people that joined us this morning for our live stream. Izzy Quinn, good on you, Izzy. Izzy Quinn? Oh, Izzy Quinn. Oh, who knows? I'll have to ask him. Izzy Quinn or did he get found not guilty?

Oh, funny. Jason Talbot, good on you, Jason. That was funny. Fuck yeah. Rhys Gorman, Natasha Clarkson, Kelly's sister, and Tashina Peterson. Thanks, Tashina Peterson. Tashina Peterson. Thanks, Tashina Peterson. Tashina? I hardly know her.

Appreciate that. So at the start of the year, now, do you regret putting it on the record that you wanted to run a 5K? I have mixed emotions about this. So it was one of my goals for the year, one of my personal goals for the year. And it was like, I just really wanted to do it for me. Yep.

So I kind of don't regret it because like the accountability, I guess is good that I'm like, no, I said I was going to do that thing. I said it out loud. Yep. But also I think because as soon as I said, like, I'm going to run five kilometers, everyone was like, we'll do a top 5K and we'll do, and I'm like, oh, I'm not going to be that fast.

I'm not going to like probably be. I just want to do my thing and build up. Because it was such a personal goal that I was like, I've never been able to run. I'd really like to be able to do it. But, I mean, it's cool that people are sending me that they're doing the catch to 5K app or like the kick training running thing. I've seen you run because right at the start of Patreon,

we said we'd run one metre for every person that signed up. And I was running on the treadmill. Yeah. Which is a lot easier than, and it was also not 5Ks we had to run that time. No. It was like one and a half Ks, I think, and I almost threw up. Yeah, we had less than 1,000. Yeah.

But like you weren't bad at running though. I think I have good like form or whatever. Yeah, you didn't look like a fish out of water. Thank you. And you didn't like even though we by the end were struggling a bit, I was like, oh, no, this wasn't like a – I didn't think we'd actually be able to do it. Thank you.

I really appreciate that. Well, so yeah, so my goal is to run 5Ks and I'm actually like really loving it. Great. The thing about running that I have read, because I did heaps of, because I was like I don't, a friend of mine took up running after doing like no exercise and they ended up having to get like discs fused in their back because like they didn't like run properly. So I did a little bit of like looking online to be like, okay,

like do I need new shoes? Do I need X, Y, Z? And then I was like, you know what? No, I'm just going to do it. And if I realize that I need new shoes, I'll invest like after a couple of weeks. Now, you know, I'm supportive of you in all ways. Um, but I do love that the first thing you're like, great. Do I need to buy lots of things? Well, cause I'm like, all right, if I start like start with all the right stuff, I didn't want to do an injury or whatever. I get that.

But then I've seen you buy stuff and go, no, I'm on to the next thing now. So that's why I was like, I'm not going to buy a thing. I'm going to do it with what I've got. And if I realise I need new shoes, then I will invest. Is the beauty of running the, in terms of admin and equipment, the simplistic, like you just put your shoes on and go. And I think a lot of times I've been like, oh, well. Don't need to book in.

Don't need to sign up. Don't need to book in. And, like, I would go, oh, I'll drive down to the river or a track or whatever and I'll do that. And literally I'm just running around the block. Yeah. And I do, so I'm doing, like, so I'm not very fast. That's fine.

And I'm not very good yet, but I'm doing the, like, build up with the intervals where you like run for two minutes, then you walk for 90 seconds, run, you know, and you kind of like go on and off. And I just run around the block until I'm done. I don't run all the way up and then I literally eat the same block. Because at any given time you're still only that far from the house. Exactly.

And I was like, and that is the safety that I need to start. Great. So I was like, I'll do that. And, you know, I'll probably graduate to running somewhere else at once. Two blocks. You know, but right now that's enough because I'm like, I know where I am. I'm right near home. Like it's all good.

And I'm actually really proud of myself that I'm still going because I do give up on stuff when I like to be really good at things. Yeah. And I haven't given up yet. You're not a spitter, but you are a quitter. That's what I've always said about you. You have always said that, and that's actually really nice. I need that today.

Yeah, but you are, yeah, killing it. And I've seen you come in and go, oh, yeah, I was up for a run this morning. And I just, yeah, I feel really proud of myself. And, like, yeah, I am really. You can tell. You've got a glow. Really? You've got an energy.

I've got runners high. What is runners high? Is that a real thing? I haven't got it yet, but I'll let you. You can tell. You've got a glow. Really? You've got an energy. I've got runner's high. What is runner's high? Is that a real thing? I haven't got it yet, but I'll let you know. Please do because I've never got it. I've done a lot of running in my life. I'm like, when do I get high? Because this just fucking sucks at the moment.

I feel like you do feel pretty good after. After, but I thought the high was when you're running. Oh, I thought it was like after. Like when runner runners like get into the zone. Oh. And they're like, yeah, you just get through that bit and then it's like, oh. Well, see, this is the thing. Everyone tells you that running yeah, you just get through that bit. And then it's like, oh. Well, see, this is the thing. Everyone tells you that running is such a mental game.

And it is. It is, yeah. Because you're kind of like, I could stop at any time. There's actually nothing, like, keeping you going. Like, you're not on a treadmill where you're like, oh, I can't stop. I have to, like, do something. You could literally just stop and then walk home. Or if you're swimming in a lake.

You have to get back. Yeah, yeah. I could just call Torbs and be like, can you come and get me? I'm on the other side of the block. He goes, yep. And he comes over and the stand-up paddle board's right in the middle of the way. He wades over.

Is Pippa coming with you? Well, she came the first time and then I, halfway around the block, threw her back in the house and I kept going because she just wanted to stop and sniff and I was like, it's not very fair to waste her walk on my run. Anyway, so I'm really slow and I'm okay with that. I'm okay with it. Like everybody's slow to start.

And even if I'm always slow, it's not about I don't want to win anything. I just want to do it. Yeah. Anyway, thanks. That was beautiful. Yeah, I really appreciate that. Time running is more important than distance run. I think so too because I could go and enjoy a 20-minute run was beautiful yeah i really appreciate that time running is more important than distance run i

think so too because i could go and enjoy a 20 minute run and it doesn't matter whether what my split pace was or how far i went though to get technical the thing is that i want to run 5ks um but i think that's like a fair distance oh but it's like if that takes you 20 minutes or takes you now it just you just keep shuffling? Yeah, like you just kind of keep going. Slow down, I'm a bit tired, just go a bit slower. Yeah, and it's like as long as I'm still running, I think that's okay. Anyway, so I like just run around the block

and I normally like walk down my driveway and turn right and I went that way and there was some neighbours out the front kind of like packing their car. And as I walked way and there was some neighbours out the front kind of like packing their car. And as I walked, I was like walking up to the corner and I had headphones on and they like said, hey. And I was like, hi, how are you going? And I was like obviously like out to pound the pavement kind of thing.

And I was like, okay, well, instead of running around the block a million times, I'll run up to the back street and then just go up and down that street. Is that to avoid the awkwardness of running around the block a million times, I'll run up to the back street and then just go up and down. That one. That street. Is it to avoid the awkwardness of running past them? Of keep running around. But keep running past the same people.

Yeah. Like when you're in the supermarket and you go up and down the aisles. Exactly. And because like when you're doing the intervals, because you kind of like run and then all of a sudden like you stop. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, it's intervals. I'm not giving up.

It's an interval. It's called fartlek. It's actually a very scientific biological fucking thing. Right, and I was like, I don't need to do that, so I'm just going to stay in the thing. And the block that I live on, so there's like houses all around the side, but on the main part of the road, it's like two blocks of units. Right.

So the block that I live on happens to be very wide. And so I was like, I'll just go up to the back street and just go up and down there. But it's quite a long street. It's not just like up and back kind of thing. It's like quite long. Anyway, so it's like early in the morning and I'm like, okay, I'll just go up to this back street.

I actually know how long it is because of the funeral. Oh, this is the street. I'll park here. Auction. Auction. What did I say? You said funeral. Yeah, it was the death of you being a renter.

The death of my fucking money more like. The death of your bank account. The death of your credit history. Yeah, literally. And I was like, oh, this is the street. I'll just park here. And it's hell long. And me and Mabel had to fucking, fuck, yeah. Hoof it back. Yeah. literally. And I was like, oh, this is the street. I'll just park here. And it's hell long.

And me and Mabel had to fucking park, yeah. Hoof it back. Yeah. And you were running late, so you had to. So you've ran that same street. I've run that street. Anyway, so I'm like, I'll just do that. And I notice as I kind of get to the street, there's like an old guy sitting on the porch,

like having a ciggy. Did he have a shotgun? It was that kind of energy. He's sitting at the front. He's like having a ciggy. And I was like, okay, cool. I had my headphones on but, like, I never – they, like, have – I never use noise cancelling because – so that I don't get abducted,

don't get kidnapped. Or get in an issue surround. And also, like, so I can hear my breathing and stuff. Yep, yep. Anyway, and so I had my headphones on and they were turned on but, like, they weren't on thing-o. And the night before, Torbs and I did MasterChef and we made pork belly bao buns for dinner.

Fuck, yeah. And they were elite. They were so good. Fuck, yeah. And as you know, with, like, exercise and running. Yep. Or podcasting good. Fuck yeah. And as you know, with like exercise and running. Yep. Or podcasting to me right now, I get it. Oh, yeah.

You get gassy. Yep. Everything moves around. Everything's moving. And you've got to poo pretty soon. Yeah. Anyway, and like, so I'm like, okay, I don't need to poo. And I checked the app and I was like, I've got 20 minutes.

The app said, no, all good, don't need to poo. No, and the app said you've got 20 minutes. I was like, I've got 20 minutes. The app said, no, all good, don't need to poo. No, and the app said you've got 20 minutes. I was like, I reckon I can make 20 minutes. But like so I'm jogging and I'm doing my intervals and like every kind of time I like jog, like I can feel a little like fart slip out. And I'm like, oh, I haven't heard it. It's silent. So that's fine.

Like it's just a little. Remind us all what's on your head. Well, I'm wearing my headphones, but I don't put noise cancelling on. Yeah, but there's noise cancelling and then there's noise cancelling. Anyway. And is it the app telling you to run or you've got to be music in the back? Yeah, so there's music going, but then like Laura Henshaw pops in and goes, keep going, you're doing great.

Oh, does she? Yeah, she does. Yeah, she's on FaceTime. Does she remind you to not fart near what I am picturing as Clint Eastwood? Literally. And so I'm running up and down the thing and I'm like, these farts are silent, like all good. Yeah.

And then I'm like. There should be a warning on the kick app. Yeah. Check your farts. Check your farts. Check your farts. Anyway, so. Keep it cleaner. And then so I kind of get to the other end of the street back where kind of he is.

And my jog was done. You made the 20 minutes. I made the time. Killing it. And as that happened, like my headphones had gotten really sweaty. And so I was like, oh, I'm just going to walk back down this street. Yeah. Like to get home. And I took my headphones off and did a little fart.

And my headphones were on noise cancelling. And so, and the old guy's still there having another ciggy. Well, he needs to burn some smoke, dude. Yeah. Light a fucking match. Yeah. Because I'd just been running. Well, running is fucking generous.

Jogging, a light jog. Shuffling. Up and down this street. Just fluffing. Firing them off. Literally like a cannon in my bum. Yeah. It's like that scene in 1917, that war film,

when he's running through the trenches and there's just bombs going on around him. Yeah, that's literally what it was like. And I'm just jogging this like fat little girl, just like jogging down this back street. Partying along. And because I was like, they're silent. I'm all good.

I can't believe you trusted that they were silent. Well, because I was like, I can't hear it, so it's fine. And anyway, yeah, so then I end up kind of wrapping up my run in front of this guy and he's just sitting there still having, and I was like, yeah, cool, took my headphones off and another one came out and I went, oh. Have I been doing that the whole time? And literally it was just me poofing the whole time.

It was poof, poof, poof, poof, poof the whole time. So where are you looking at moving to? Yeah, so I know that you said the death of renting. I'm going to be back in the rental market. And if anyone's in the market for a house. If anyone wants to do a house swap, maybe I could swap with someone in Canada. It's very far away. It's a great place, Tony, and I recommend getting in there

and putting your bids in. Yeah, but, I mean, luckily I didn't embarrass myself in front of the neighbours. The other neighbours protected myself from one set of neighbours and fucked up in front of the other ones. To be fair, I'd rather fart in front of Clint Eastwood because, let. Protected myself from one set of neighbours and fucked up with in front of the other ones. Well, to be fair, I'd rather fart in front of Clint Eastwood because let's be honest, that old bloke, he's dropping a few bombs

of his own. Whereas the other people moving next door. Also, all those ciggies, he'll be dead soon. Do you know what I mean? Like, I won't have to worry about it for long. Yeah, natural selection. But anyway, yeah, and I just realised that, like, this whole time and I was, like, I'm concentrating on my breathing.

I'm, like, doing everything right. You're breathing out of every orifice as it were. And all my little farts were poofing out behind me like a little bunny. Well, I don't want that to deter you because you are doing a great job. But just a warning to everyone. Don't have your fucking pork belly chili bows the night before and like get your farts out before you get on the road. If I had one piece of advice.

Maybe that should be there's not enough chat about that because you know how there's all these like healthy girls on Instagram who are like here's my tips for the Roche. If I had one piece of advice. Maybe that should be, there's not enough chat about that because you know how there's all these healthy girls on Instagram who are like, here's my tips for the morning routine. It's like, get your farts out. Get your farts out. It's like, yeah, I got up and I journaled, then I got my farts out and then I blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, and also because I think that more people need to talk

about the fact that when you are exercising, you need to shit. That was the birth of the poo jogging, remember? Yeah, but it gets you, like why aren't people saying like, When you are exercising, you need to shit. Oh, that was the birth of the poo jogging. Remember? Yeah. But it gets you. Like, why aren't people saying like, oh, when I drink that many green juices, yeah, I need to shit a lot because I'm full of fiber. And it's all good stuff. But like more people need to be like, yep.

And then I stopped my run to do a little shit. And then I kept going again. So apparently when you do like a marathon or a longer run. You know, when you see those people that like just piss themselves on the run or whatever. But apparently there's always like toilets in the first kilometer or two because everyone in the marathon, they kind of warm up, they go and go and they off and then five, 10 minutes in, they go, well, obviously.

Now there's the poo. Yeah. And then you can keep going after that. And then you feel a million bucks. You're riding twice as fast. And so I was listening to this guy. It wasn't a health podcast. He was just like a guy who did a marathon.

Yeah. And he was like, oh, any tips? And he's like, shit before you go. He's like, everyone's like taking their gels or stretching or putting on new socks. He's like, my advice is to shit. Yeah. And it's good advice. Yeah.

Yeah. My poo wasn't quite ready yet. And that's why I was doing all those farts. So I think the secondary advice, again, this is like you said, not a health podcast. No, maybe it is. Just a guy that's run a marathon doing all those farts. So I think the secondary advice, again, this is, like you said, not a health podcast. No, maybe it is. Just a guy that's run a marathon trying to. Trying to.

Get your farts out. Get your farts out. And your poops out before you go for a run. And when you see Clint Eastwood, ask him for an autograph. Please. Yeah. Tell him who you said hi. Gran Torino, great film.

Yeah, great film. What's that? A Million Dollar Baby. Can't hit the curve. Oh. Anyway. Getino, great film. Yeah, great film. What's that? A Million Dollar Baby. Can't Hit the Curve. Oh. Anyway. Get your farts out. Also a fun fact.

Hashtag get your farts out. A fun fact about the 5K. Yeah. If I may. You may. Is that what I say? Ryan J. So as I was wanting to support you doing the 5K.

Yeah. Remember I found that fun run? Like I found the 5K online. Yeah, yeah. Where was it? doing the 5K. Yeah. Remember I found that fun run? Like I found the 5K online. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. Where was it? The Great Ocean Road. Yeah.

There's like the marathon, the half marathon, the 5 and a 10. Yeah. The running festival or whatever. Love that. And Great Ocean Road, an hour or two from our house. But the sponsor of the, I think it was a 6K. The sponsor is Sri Lankan Airlines. And, you know, the half marathon sponsored by a T-shirt company

and the main ones by Vitamins. Blackmores. Blackmores. I'm like, yeah, yeah. And so I send Tony a link to the Sri Lankan Airlines. I want to leave. Can I please? It's just called Anne Ryan J now.

The podcast is not. And Tony goes, great idea. Always wanted to go to Sri Lanka. I skimmed. Hey, mate, see that link I sent you and you're looking at it and you're like, yeah, I'm like, read it again. Yeah, I skimmed. Yeah.

I skimmed. Sri Lankan Airlines 6K, Apollo Bay, Victoria. In Victoria. Two hour drive. I was like, I literally said like, what a great excuse for us to go and meet some tarpers. If there's tarpers in Sri Lanka is literally what I said. Sri Lankan tarpers?

Message through. You know, and then, um, but yeah, nah, it's in Apollo Bay. It's, um, it's very, it's very close to here. Um, although maybe if we really get on board the Sri Lankan airlines, uh, maybe they want to get around us. I'm just going to quickly check in real time how many listens we had last month from Sri Lanka. From Sri Lanka. Also, I'm imagining that Sri Lanka, like a lot of Asia, has quite a thick air.

Like quite humid, is it? Yeah, but it's also an island in the ocean. No, it's very humid. Very humid. Okay. Okay. So I probably don't want to run there because I won't be able to breathe and I'll get so hot. See, I've actually heard breathing important when running.

Yeah. Get your farts out. Get your shits out plus breathing. Okay. Hang on. Switch the number. What did we say? Sri Lanka.

Sri Lanka. Place your bets. Which, like, what number? Over 100. It won't be in the top 100, do you reckon? No, it's, oh, hang on. What number ranking or, what number? Over 100. It won't be in the top 100, do you reckon? No, it's, oh, hang on. What number ranking or how many people?

Ranking, ranking. Oh, 65. 72. Oh, Phoebe said 72. James? 50. 50. Um, fuck, I'm still scrolling, guys.

Oh, okay. Sri Lanka, get it together. Oh. Oh, hang on. I can just scroll, guys. Oh, okay. Sri Lanka, get it together. Oh, hang on. I can just scroll over to the island. Okay. I mean, live brainstorm. That's okay.

Oh, because I'm scrolling so far down, but then if I hover over... What's your guess, Ryan? Oh, yeah. Do you have a guess? I feel like it's unfair to guess and be the person finding out at the same time. Yeah. Which is code for... Have we fucked it up? Have we gone...

We've gone... Guys. We've undershot the runway. I can confirm its neighbor, India, is 22nd on the list. 22nd? Really? Wow. We do not have, not in the top 100.

Okay. All right. So there wouldn't be many tapas to meet in Sri Lanka. None. However, there is an unknown getting 800 downloads a month. Okay. Which I'm going to assume is Sri Lanka in between Zimbabwe and Ukraine. In downloads, not geographically.

All right. Well, second best thing. What have we got in Apollo Bay? Maybe we just do the 5K in Apollo Bay instead. Actually, we haven't done this in a while. There is one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight countries that had a singular listen in the month of January. Oh, and then stopped.

They listened once and that was enough. But sometimes people are travelling through. Yeah. Those countries are Bhutan. Ooh. St. Lucia. Lucia? Is that how you pronounce it?

Hi- Hi- Haiti? Yes. I was trying to say Tahiti and take the ta off. Yeah. Est-Watini? Cameroon?

Curaco? Not Ghana, but it looks like Ghana. Okay. How do you spell Ghana? G-H-A-N-A? Hmm. You spell it out. Ganda?

Uganda. No, it's G-U-Y-A-N-A. Guyana. Guyana. Guyana. Okay. Well, I mean, I think that's a lot of map chat. Well, it's not Ghana because they're 99th,

just below Bosnia and her vagina. Whose? Sorry? Bosnia and her vagina. Whose? Sorry? Bosnia and her vagina. Both of them. Bosnia. I hardly know her. 68 listens from Bosnia and her vagina, so I appreciate that.

Oh, good. What do you love to see, Tonya? Okay, fuck me. No wonder we don't do that often. That's actually a terrible segment. No, I liked it. It did take away from my running efforts. I hope that's okay.

My love to see it is. Who's got main character energy now? You're more important than the whole nation of. Bosnia and her vagina. Malawi. Malawi? Yeah. Oh, that's a beautiful island destination.

Rwanda. 94 downloads. Thank you. Thank you for listening wherever you are. Yeah. My love to see it is from Manon Kalot. Which country? Rwanda. 94 downloads. Thank you. Thank you for listening wherever you are. Thank you. My Love To See It is from Manon Collot. Which country? No, this is a person's name. Manon. Manon. Manon.

Manon. Sorry. Manon McCock? Yes. A bit of a start the fucking blog vibe. Ooh, thanks, Manon. I have... Fuck, you are joking me. Sorry, maybe I should have kept her a non. You are joking me. Oh, fuck you.

Oh! Coincidence chat. Coincidence chat. We have the same one. Do you want to read it together? No, you go. I'll find another one. A bit of a...

So Manon Collot said, bit of a start the fucking vlog. I have quit my nine to five job last summer to travel and see my family. After months of imposter syndrome, I finally started my business, taking my business seriously, and I'm writing travel guides and offering travel consultations on Thatch, which I'm guessing is like an app or a website or something, making travel posters on Etsy and travel content on Insta. Fuck yeah.

And, I mean, not only is the coincidence chat, I believe, that we both had the same one, but that after all that map chat, we're now talking to a travel expert. The world makes sense once again. So, Manon, if you're heading to Sri Lanka, let us know and we'll come and do a 5K there. If you've got any recommendations for Bosnia and her vagina, let us know where to eat.

Yeah. I'll tell you where to eat out in her vagina. Manon says, I'm not making like a living from it yet, but never been so motivated to make it happen for myself. Fuck yeah, get it. Yeah, Manon, if you want to pop your like little travel Instagram in today's episode thread so we can give you a follow, that'd be awesome.

Fuck yeah. My I Love to See It is from Amelia and I'm scared that it's... Is it the same Amelia? That's what I mean, I'm scared, considering there's just coincidences flying all over the place. There are a lot of fucking coincidences. You might have seen this, I can't believe I haven't that it's... Is it the same Amelia? That's what I mean. I'm scared considering there's just coincidences flying all over the place. There are a lot of fucking coincidences. You might have seen this.

I can't believe I haven't mentioned it until now. She lives in Croydon, like Mooroo Bark area in Melbourne. And she's got a dash cam. And a chimney goes past. And she goes, oh, a chimney. Ryan loves those. Next car, another chimney. And then a few cars later, a third chimney.

And so she put the like chipped out the chopped out the video and put it in the Facebook group and was like guys Maroo Bark it's the home of the Jimny

and I fucking love to see that I've always said that actually Maroo Bark has that on a sign as you drive in it says the home of the Jimny not one not two but three Jimny's

in the space of 15 seconds Ryan looks like you'll have to come to Croydon the home of the Jimny so what did you say? There was one Jimny and then the car after that was a Jimny? Yep. And then a few cars after that there was a Jimny.

And a third Jimny. Okay. You would fucking tear my asshole open if my coincidence chat was that there were two cars, then a few others, then another one car. I'm just letting you know I'm being very supportive of you and of Amelia and your coincidence chat, but can you imagine the wrath I would experience from you if I brought that coincidence to the table?

Remember when I said that Katie Rich and Sora Carr are exactly the same with the exact same number? That was a terrible coincidence. Terrible coincidence. I think what we need to keep in mind. Maybe your area is, oh, coincidence, Chad. I drank water yesterday. Now you're drinking water three days later.

I think we need to keep in mind that if this is the same Amelia, then we should encourage positive memories to do with cars. Okay, yeah, that's fair. Can you feel the love tonight? Thank you so much for listening, everybody. I hope that you had a great Super Bowl weekend, day, fucking whatever it is. We're back tomorrow.

Confessions are tomorrow. And Tony Lodge, someone has an apology to make to you. Thank God. To Western Australia and the other patrons of Dome. Oh, well, I've been waiting to you. Thank God. To Western Australia and the other patrons of Dome. Oh, well, I've been waiting for this. Thank God. A Dome-related confession. Well, just Dome chat, but more the apology.

I hope that the apology is good. Well, they say sorry. Yeah. For what they did to Dome. Oh, I thought the apology was to me. Yeah, as the face of Dome. Oh, yeah. So thank you. I need these apologies. Yeah, okay, great, great, great. All right, we'll chat to Dome. Oh, I thought the apology was to me. Yeah, as the face of Dome. Oh, yeah. So thank you.

I need these apologies. Yeah, okay, great. All right, we'll chat to you tomorrow. Love you, bye.