Toni and Ryan - Hard (for) Rubbish

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

WE'RE BACK WITH MORE BIN CHAT! HOT FUN GARBAGE BABY!!! Love ya xoxoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. We are calling Leah, who is in Canada. Welcome. I'm Ryan. This is Tony. That was so stressful. I know. It's all happening. It's all happening. I just pressed call and it started calling. Why? Well, because that's what it's supposed to do when you press a button. We have a system.

I know. Hello? Hi, Leah. Hi. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Good. How about you guys? Yeah, we're well, Leah. What. How are you doing? Good. How about you guys? Yeah, we're well, Leah.

What have we caught you doing? What are you up to? Well, I'm at work right now, but the day just ended, and I was, like, so scared that I had, like, not answered your call or that I was going to do something wrong. And I'm bringing, like, a lot of Tony energy to this because I'm like, oh my God, like how do I be the best person that has ever approved the podcast?

Because like, I can't just be a regular person. I have to be the best person, you know? Yeah. I do know what you mean. I know Tony can relate. No, you're doing a great job. You're doing a great job. Leah, you are a teacher. What do you teach?

I do like, I don't know what they call it in Australia, but I do like special education, like resource is what they call it in Canada. Oh. Spit, spit. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. What do we call that?

I don't know anything. I don't know anything. Yeah. And she's always said that. Yeah. And if there's one thing she does know is that she doesn't know that much else. Yeah. Which is at least something. Yeah. Yeah, exactly anything. Yeah. And she's always said that. Yeah. And if there's one thing she does know is that she doesn't know that much else. Yeah. Which is at least something.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly right. Yeah. Well, you're teaching us, so you're teaching all the time. Yeah, absolutely. Great teacher. Great teacher. Great teacher.

Leah, will you approve the podcast today? Hell yes. Woo-hoo. Legend. See, you succeeded at being an approver. Yeah, well done. There you go. Hi, it's Leah from Winnipeg, Canada, and I approve this podcast.

Happy New Year and welcome back to this Hot Fun Garbage podcast. We haven't outwardly said our tagline for a very long time, but it's important because there's some more bin chat coming up and there's a bin hack shared by one of the OG tarpers and everyone's going to go, it seems so obvious, but of course, why haven't I been doing this the whole time? You know I love a hack. And this, it's going to hack your pants off. Wow, put it in the hack time. You know I love a hack. And this, it's going to hack your pants off.

Wow. Put it in the hack door. A life-changing bin hack. Hack attack. Hack attack. That's what we're calling this, hack attack. But first, let's go back and do some mild revenge. It all started when James McDonald, who is also an OG tarpa.

Yeah, we went out for dinner with him once. Yep. He wasn't offered a new contract at work, so he left his coffee cups on the sink. Bad bitch. Instead of in the dishwasher. The baddest of bitches. Yeah. Which is ironic because James is like the least bad bitch I know.

He's such a sweetheart. Yeah, because in a nice way. Chantel. Hi, Chantel. My ex never removed me from his Netflix account. So I'll log in, see what TV shows he's watching, and, like, let an episode play out. So when he logs in, he'll have missed a bit and it's all on the spot

and he'll be confused. Oh, how did we get to here? Why did that happen? I've never been suspected, but you can just tell that that would be annoying as fuck, says Chantal. I've passed away. Yeah. That's not mild.

That's severe. That's grievous fucking bodily harm. That is not okay. We need to know where we're up to on new episodes of TV. We can't just be dripping and dropping in and out. If that's fucked you off. Oh, I actually don't think. Yeah, Chantel, I thought we were friends.

That is the most evil thing I think I've ever heard. Until now. Until you meet Rachel. Rachel, no. What are you doing? My ex cheated on me, said Rachel. Oh. Sorry, I sounded like a dog with an upset tummy.

Yeah. So I got all the cables from his house of every electronic in the house and placed them all together in a box at the door. Everyone thinks they know which cord is for the TV and which is for the microwave and which is for the computer screen, but let me tell you, when they're all in a box together, they all look pretty fucking similar to me. All black, all probably around the same length.

Yep. So any time I get annoyed about the fact he cheated on me, I think about him trying to figure out which thing goes into which thing and how long that would have taken him to figure out. Imagine how annoying that would have been. And you know what's something real humbling? Reaching around to the back of the microwave. That will put you in your place.

And it's always real greasy back there. Oh, he would have bloody had to do some washing after that as well. That's good. Yeah. You think you're doing well in life? Change the cord on your microwave. Yeah. And then see how you feel.

I'm pretty sure that's a lyric in, was it Kendrick Lamar, Sit Down, Be Humble? What was that song? Yeah. Change the cord on your microwave. Sit down. Be humble. Yeah, I've heard that. Yeah. Big on Triple J, that one. on your microwave. Sit down. Be humble.

Yeah, I've heard that. Yeah. Big on Triple J, that one. One of the hottest 101 years. Yeah. Amy, my husband is really picky about food brands and it's so annoying. Like he thinks he's better than all of us. And one day when he was annoying me, I put the Coles brand barbecue sauce into the Master Foods barbecue sauce bottle

and he couldn't even tell the difference, thus proving how much of a fancy wannabe dickhead he is. I'd know the difference. Same. A hundred percent. I would know the difference. The thickness is completely different. Oh, and the vinegar ratio.

Everything. Everything. You would know. No, that's not a Master Foods. No, you would know straight away. Because I went through a little phase where I was like, there's not really much difference, but the price is significantly different. Significantly.

And I was like, oh, cool, they've got two for $1 of the Coles brand one. And I got it home and Tubbs was like, what have you done? And I was like, mate, all good. It's the same stuff. And he goes, it's not. Couldn't be more different. So he unplugged the cable from our microwave. It's like, yeah, suck it, man. No, you would know straight away, I reckon.

Is. Actually, maybe this is the game. Is that mild revenge or is that just revenge? I mean, it's pretty mild. You made your stance about the TV show a bit quite clear. Let's go through them real quick. Netflix account playing a bit of the episode. Oh, that's evil. But it is mild because no one's really hurt by it. Oh, that's bad though, I reckon.

And it's just smart too. It's not your classic cutting your clothes up is it Then the cables That's pretty That's pretty bad That's pretty nefarious I don't know what that word means Yeah exactly that's how bad it is

And the barbecue sauce As someone who is also picky about Yeah you're a food wanker. Yeah. When it comes to supermarket-bought barbecue sauce, I thank you. But I like to, like, know if I'm looking at it, I'm like, oh, that's the right thing.

So that would bother me. But I guess it is pretty mild revenge. But now let me introduce you to the mildest of the day. And it's by Sketchy Ant. Sketchy Ant, our friend. Anthony, yeah. And this is one of the mildest of the day. And it's by Sketchy Ant. Sketchy Ant, our friend. Anthony, yeah. And this is one of the mildest revenges you'll ever get. And I always need to prepare myself for this because I love this so much.

I also know Sketchy Ant and he wouldn't hurt an ant. A fly? Are flies and ants friends? Are they from the same family or something? No, I don't know. I don't know. I'm off all insects since I got bitten by that wasp. Yeah, and rightly so. That was got bitten by that wasp. Yeah, and rightly so because what?

Yeah. That was a real honking wasp. Yeah. For those playing along at home, I texted Tony and said, you're not going to be my girl, are you? Yeah, and I haven't seen it, but I Googled it and it wasn't good. Oh, sorry. Spoiler alert.

Yeah. And the dead mum as well. Thanks for bringing that up. Fuck. Sketchy aunt. So I get bitten by a wasp and I'm reminded about my dead mum on the same day. Some friend you turned out to be. Sorry, that was.

Nothing mild about that. Yeah, that was spicy. So Sketchy Ant does some of the animations and stuff that you might have seen. Yeah. He's so good. And he's hoping to, you know, get into the animation industry. He's such a sweetheart. At my retail day job, when a customer is rude,

instead of finishing our interaction with have a nice day, I just don't say that. Ooh, silence is deafening. Imagine you are at the end of an interaction. Someone goes, have a good one. And you just go. Okay. Let's play both sides.

You be sketchy aunt. All right. And you be the arsehole. I'll start with the nice guy. Yeah. Okay. So just scan one item. Beep.

Beep. Oh, that'll be 2465. Yep. Here we go. Oh. Beep. That's not the sound that it made at the end. Yep. Yep. All good. Thank you so much the sound that it made at the end, did it? Yep.

Yep, all good. Thank you so much. Thank you. Have a great day. Will do, you too. Easy. Easy. All right.

Beep. Beep. Oh, that'll be. Sorry, I've just had a bit of a rush. Beep. That'll be 2465 Okay here we go Oh sorry you can't Did you have flybys?

No I don't just Oh okay sorry Oh I'm just Sorry it just does this sometimes Oh yep 24 Yep tap when you You have to wait for it to come up

Do I tap the top or the side? But it says tap here Okay sorry sorry Just on the side When the screen No sorry Oh it's timed out Let me do it

2465 Thank you so Thank you so much So just on the side, when the screen, no, sorry. Oh, it's timed out. Let me do it. 24, 65. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Great. That's gone through. Thank you so much. Thank you.

For those playing along at home, not only did Tony not say have a nice day, she gave me the fucking middle finger. And I deserved it. Do you think there's a bit of like a have a good day stand she gave me the fucking middle finger. And I deserved it. Do you think there's a bit of like a have a good day standoff? Who was more annoying in that scenario? I think you were worse than I was. Hey, it's Leah from Winnipeg, Canada, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. You can check it out anytime. And that's tapas, Tony and Brian podcast. Sophie Olivieri. Thanks, Soph. That's right. Kendra King, Hills, Shane and Kelly Hollier. Hello, Noah. Thanks, Hollier. Yeah. Thanks, guys. Big Kells. Kendra King, Hills, Shane, and Kelly Hollier. Hello, Noah.

Thanks, Hollier. Yeah. Thanks, guys. Big Kells. Thanks for supporting the show. We honestly couldn't do it without people supporting us with Patreon, so thank you so much. Actually. It sounds a bit like, oh, I couldn't do it without you,

but like, yeah, no, actually. Yeah. Who's actually? Have a good day. This Hot Fun Garbage podcast loves talking about Hot Fun Garbage, if you will. Monique DeRocha has a life hack. Oh, Monique DeRocha on the treadmill.

We were complaining about there's so many cardboard boxes at home. We're filling up the recycling bin. It only comes once every two weeks, blah, blah, blah. Get your parcels delivered to work, unbox them at work, and put the boxes in the work bin. Yep. You can't fill your house up with boxes if the boxes never reach your house. It seems obvious, but we just don't do that, do we?

Okay. So the thing is, though. Life hacked. That is fine, right? Monique D'Orocia got her treadmill delivered to work. Oh, I'm not surprised. Unboxed it at work and then ran it home. On the train? On the train from long ago then ran it home. Took it on the train.

On the train from one ago. Ran it home. She turned it over so the belt just took it home. Yeah, then put it on 12Ks per hour and we'll just fly this thing down the eastern. Like a hoverboard on there from Back to the Future. The only thing with that is if you like- Are self-employed with a podcast. Yeah, and you don't have a bin.

There's less bin space at our work than there is. And because there's so many people here sharing, there's so many people having lunch and we just have like one regular council bin. Yeah. It's pretty, it's full immediately. You know, like there's so much like recycling. Cause everybody that comes in goes, oh, we'll go grab a coffee. And then there's like 80 cups in the bin before the day's even started.

Question. Question. If we moved into a new workspace. Yeah. Totally new area. Yeah. Here are your two options. Option.

Whoa. I've just slapped the microphone. This better be good. Option one. Yep. Undercover unlimited your own parking. Like your own private spot, undercover, locked in. You don't need to fight with the riffraff people outside.

Yeah. Bin space, mm. Option two. Yep. There's just like a free-for-all car park. You should be all right to find a spot. No, I don't like that. You should be all right.

There's just like a mini skip the size of fucking Tasmania that you just lob anything in and it's all good. Someone else takes it away. Oh. I feel like. You know how much I stress about parking day to day? So you're probably an option one. But then again.

The freedom. Bin space, that freedom. God, you can't buy that. You can't. that You can't Yeah It's got to skip Oh I think I still Have to go to the parking Okay

I'd chance it With the parking The bin space for me Is getting me all revved up But I mean If I take the parking And you take the bin Win win

Why don't That's what they're offering Because we'd work At the same place I think that's what we're saying So Tony's working At office one And I'm at office two

We've been Brid one and I'm at office two. We've been, Bridget and I, my wife. I thought you meant you and me. We've been cleaning up with other people's rubbish. What do you mean? We live in like a nice. Cleaning up with everyone. What do you mean?

Using old paper towel. We live in like a nice area. Right yourself. No, but like I would say we've got like a regular house in a nice-ish area. But there's, if you go, like we go for a walk in the afternoon with Mabel now for like a kilometer, like 20 minute little loop. And near us are some like real nice houses. And like on a bit of property. On a bit of property.

Like, you know, they've got horses and shit. And I'm not like trying to poo-poo my house. I love my house. It's my dream house. But it's like still like it's a stock suburban block kind of thing. But like you said, there's properties nearby. And when I say we've been cleaning up, there's been like hard rubbish. Or maybe the kids have grown up a bit and they've gone, cool.

Because in our council, you can call the council and go, we've left hard rubbish out the front. Can you just come and grab it? You get one a year. That's good. Yeah. And so people are like throwing out stuff. And so rich people are like, oh, we used that toy once.

The kid didn't like it. Or it's just grown up now. Grown up, yeah. And so we're going for walks and just like cleaning up. You take two prams. One's full of stuff and one's got the baby in it. Yeah. Mabel's pram actually has this like carry a bit underneath where you can like put the

baby, you know, the nappy bag and the blah, blah, blah. Or your handbag or whatever. Yeah, leave the nappy bag at home, mate. Mabes, fucking hold it. So we come home every day and we've got toys and this stuff. And we've found stuff on the side of the road. And Bridget goes, oh, a bit of spray and wipe. That'll clean up real nice.

Yeah, we'll pop that in the washing machine or whatever. And we are dominating. We are dominating. Do you know what you could do? Even if it was stuff you didn't want, but you felt like I could clean that. Flip it. Making money. We have.

You're doing it on Facebook marketplace. Yeah. Facebook marketplace with kids toys is a fucking goldmine. Cause we get a lot of our stuff off Facebook marketplace. Cause same thing. A kid uses it for three months. They grow out of it. Yeah.

Cause babies, they grow so far. Yeah. And they just like lose interest in stuff yeah and Bridget's like a hound dog for a sale we have not paid full price for anything yeah she's like oh there's some lady that lives up the road and they don't use it anymore or she just borrowed it from her friend but her friend didn't want it back and I was like I'll give you 50 bucks and so it's just a bit of a cash economy and every time I get home there's always something sitting at the front door because she goes oh yeah this girl from Facebook marketplace is going to come pick that up. And there's this thing called the mum economy where it's all free, but it's like. Yeah, this is an underbelly.

It really is. Shit's going wild out there. And so. Vince Colosimo walks in. Yeah, Vince Colosimo bags like, fuck yeah, look at this cool shit. And so it's sort of one of those, like, if you put some stuff into the mum economy, you're free to take some stuff out of it. So people are picking up free stuff from our thing

and then we can go, so you go, oh, yeah. And it's kind of like, oh, have you put some things in? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. It's an honest system, isn't it? Yeah, it's a bit of an honest system. That's good. But then, and so let me just tell you guys,

living in a nice area, the house is practically free now. We've paid for it. That's girl mouth, I think, yeah. We've paid for it in free stuff we've claimed from the area. Yeah, because you're not spending it on other things. Yeah. All right. That is good.

So I'm chatting about this in Patreon, right? About the mum economy? Yeah. When? I mentioned it. Sometimes I get it in Patreon late at night. So Tarpalani messages us. Yeah.

Maybe I was talking about it on Instagram somewhere, but Tarpalani in Patreon goes, I've got chat about this. She's getting rid of some old toys and she's put them out the front. Great. And she's called the council and usually the council rock up in a few days, but if someone wants to walk past in the meantime, it's sort of like, hey, we've put it out there. It's now just shit to us.

Like you take it and have fun with it. All the best to you. Yeah. Someone took one of our toys from out the front, took it home. It seems that their child, like, didn't like it, so they brought it back. Well, it's not a DVD shop. You can't just rent it and then bring it back.

Lani says, once you've taken some free shit from the side of the road, that's your shit now. Yeah. Once you realise it's shit, you can't bring it back saying it's shit. We know it's shit. That's why we put it out there in the first place. How do you feel about this, Tony Lodge? Because I think I read this like you're reading.

I'm like, absolutely not. I'm with Lani. When you take the shit, that's your shit now. So I agree, yeah. Like if you take it, like that's your problem now. Yeah. I'd also feel hell offended. Really?

I'd be like, well, I didn't want it, but it's really good. We use it for a bit. Oh, it's fucking good enough. Like what, you're saying our stuff's not good enough for you? Yeah. I'd feel really defensive about the fact that someone went, oh, not really, and I'd go. Have you been to like a garage sale where they're selling like their clothes

and you're like, oh, they're ugly. I wouldn't wear that. Yeah. And then the person's like, oh, you chose it at one point. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, hang on. So even though you'd thrown it out, Tony, you'd be like, okay.

I'd be like, oh, not good enough for you. Okay. Sorry, Queen of Sheba. Like I'd be so defensive about the fact that that has happened. You think you're better than me? You're taking rubbish from the side of the road. Yep. I once was walking home from school and we were having like hard rubbish

collection where like not where just you do it but like everybody does it. Some councillors are like, yep, they're coming around this month. Put your shit out. That's what it was when I was growing up. Same. It's the best month of the year. And I was walking Some counsellors are like, yep, they're coming around this month. Put your shit out. That's what it was when I was growing up. It's the best month of the year. And I was walking home from school one day and I was like, I don't really feel like this. Like, this is not for me.

And over the road, there's someone throwing out a bike. Fuck, yeah. And I thought that bike would get me home. And I rode the bike home and I put it on our pile out the front of our house. Oh, good. I'll use that to ride back to school tomorrow. Yeah. And my mum comes in.

Oh! Oh! Zooming. And I was like, what's wrong, mum? This is not what killed her, by the way. This is just something else. It sounds pretty deathly. Deathly.

And she comes and she's like, oh, can you believe that? Like the audacity. And I was like, oh, mum, what's wrong? She goes, oh, someone has put a bike on our pile of garbage. And I went, oh, yeah, that was me. And she went, what? And I was like, yeah, someone else had thrown it out and, like, I rode her home and she went, oh.

And I could tell that she couldn't decide whether to be really impressed or, like, angry that there was, like. Am I supposed to teach a lesson or am I just supposed to sit back and applaud the human that I have raised with this ingenuity? Actually, she's like, wow. Okay. Like, and it took her a moment. And then I think she was like, no, I'll play on.

Yeah. So for those Alpham Tarpers, extremely local chat, I used to live at the end of Velonia Drive, which is sort of why this is important. It's like, you know, like the long road that connects all the other little roads. And it was like a long, slightly downhill road on the way to school. Yep.

Right? And it was like a couple of kilometres long. And I live right at the end of it. So during hard rubbish, I'd just take my helmet because I knew there would be some kind of vessel. Bike, skateboard. I once found a shopping trolley, like a kid's one, like where they put their blocks in. Amazing.

And I was like, if it's got wheels, I'll have a crack at that. If it fits, I sit. And I've always said that. Yeah. So I would just like take my helmet each morning, not knowing what the day might bring. Oh, and isn't the beauty of an open day just. But the beauty of Valonia Drive is the subtle downhill. Not a dangerous downhill, but enough that the hill.

Not too quick. But the hill will do the work for you. That's good. And one day we got to this, there's this one little slopey bit, and I was with Daniel Buchanan. Oh, what a hottie. Yeah. You wouldn't say that if you knew the guy.

Okay. Shout out. I hope he's doing well. Yeah. He finds a desk chair, you know, with wheels. Oh. That like, yeah. You know my thoughts about desk chairs?

Death traps. Death traps. He goes helmet free. Psychopath. Oh, okay. Not hot anymore. Don't like him. Bad boy.

And it goes downhill to like a T intersection. And there's not many going across that bit. But still. Yeah. So he goes, I'm just going to sit on the desk chair and we'll just say where I end up. That's why you don't know where he is. He's still gone.

He might still be down there. And then he hit the bottom and hit the gutter on the backside and it's like Flipped. Yeah. The man did fine. Like hurt himself temporarily, but no broken bones. Yeah. And I just went, oh, how good's hard rubbish?

Yeah. Best time of the year. A past time, I feel. And now with your bike theory, let me just also add that there was the last house before Althamee's primary school. Yep. And after the two weeks of hard rubbish, all the shit I'd collected

and ridden. Would end up, oh, no. So it was as if this one house had thrown out 15 bikes. And skateboards and kids shopping trolleys. And the trolley and Daniel Buchanan. Yeah, he was still there. But, I mean, I don't know where you're listening to this from, but if you didn't have hard rubbish as a kid,

you really missed a trick because it was a really great time. Yeah, we used to do it all the time. Yeah. So good. Hard rubbish chat gets you going, doesn't it? Oh, it does. I just love bin chat. Send through your bin chat.

Bin chat of all shapes and sizes. Yeah. Like, we'll take it. We will fucking take it. Yeah, unless you're the Tiffany of me, then you actually won't take plastics. Yeah, not without paying for it. No, and the right price and putting it in the right drum.

And don't you know. I do know. Might love to see it. No, and the right price and putting it in the right drum. And don't, you know. I do know. My You Love to See It today, though, is from Kate Stone, who shared this in our Patreon. Kate says, my you love to see it is that my brother's getting married. Amazing. And he's asked my husband, so his brother-in-law, to be his best man. Isn't that nice?

Isn't that so sweet? Yeah. Would I be your best man? I don't. Well, I'm not getting married so I haven't thought about it. But I don't think I would have any people. You don't need that drama. Yeah.

A ranking system between your friends, that's for no one. Yeah, and also like And if it couldn't be Ryan, then why bother? Kind of. Because Torbs and I would then have to just share you. You'd be standing in the middle. Here's both of our best men, so he's in the middle.

We'd just both kiss you at the end. You made our kiss, the best men. Kate says they became super close after meeting when my husband and I first got together eight years ago and they had this big bromance. Oh, isn't that cute? And she says my husband asked my brother to be his best man. So it's really sweet that he's like returning the favour. Isn't it a power play when you're like their best man and then it's not reciprocated? Yeah.

And then like even if you don't feel bad about it, there's still like a bit of awkwardness, isn't there? And no one talks about it. Yeah. Until you get home. Until then you go, oh, interesting that Jared didn't pick me to be his best. You go, no, it's all good. Then you get home and go, Torbs, you'll never fucking guess what happened.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Kate says, you know what's best about this is that I can point at these two besties and be like, well, I did that. And they wouldn't fucking know each other if it weren't for me.

Isn't there pride in that? So there's a bit of pride in being like, I've connected you two. I've given you a best friend. You're welcome. But Kate says, I am a little bit less jazzed, and this is not my love to see it, that my husband is now outranking me at the wedding. So he's a best man.

So he's like a celebrity at the wedding. And Kate's like, well, I'm not. Isn't she the bride? No, it's her brother's wedding. Oh, okay. Right, right, right. Yeah, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. So she's like, you're a wedding celebrity now.

And you're not even blood. You know? Some ringing. Yeah, some guy that we met only eight years ago. Who knows what he's up to. Eight years is a long enough time for them to have their own friendship. Three months would be like, has this guy got a past or something? You'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What are you angling for? What are you hiding? But I love, Kate, that you shared that because it's a beautiful story, but also the venom at the end I like too. I might love to say it's a bit of a sting. Yes. Don't, the wasp. Sorry, too soon, too soon.

I've also got a wedding-related you love to see it from Isabel. Hi, Isabel. Oh, wedding Isabels. Like, you know how they say wedding bells? Yeah. Why do they say wedding? Oh, because of the church. Because of the church.

Yeah. Yeah. I got married in a park, so yeah. Yeah. I didn't get married anywhere. Yeah. Where'd you get married? It's actually like, the amount of times I think about being married is, it's like no

different. In a cliche, it's like no different. But that's like literally why I think we're not. Married, yeah. So when people are like, oh, well, you've been together for so long. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Like I know that we will, but it's like.

Who gives a fuck, yeah. Why would I be in a rush for. Hopefully we have another pandemic. So there's an excuse to just like do a little ceremony one. You missed your chance. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. But if I had my time again. You missed your chance though.

We had no money. Like everybody. I had no fucking money. That's why you do it during the pandemic. Yeah, because you go, oh, unfortunately. We could only have three people there and it was the celebrant photographer and us. That is good. That is. We saved a fortune.

That's why we could buy the house. Because we didn't waste it on a wedding. Because you're like, we didn't waste it on a wedding. Do you know that back in the day, though, I understood getting married when it was like you didn't sleep together or couldn't live together until you were married? Yeah, but as soon as- That I understand. But we're fucked.

We live together. We're fine. Yeah, I was going to say. We're better than fine. We're doing good. We're doing band-aid butting. Yeah, we are. But band-aids.

If you weren't getting railed on the reg. Yeah. Proposal? I think it would be because you'd be like, oh, there's another part of our life we haven't, like, unlocked yet. Whereas, like. Sorry, you just said unlocked, oh, there's another part of our life we haven't, like, unlocked yet. Whereas, like. Sorry, you just said unlocked and I literally pictured the chastity belt.

Yeah. You know, like the key and like. But that's what it was like, right? I think so. Like, it was like really, you know, anyway. I'm the product of a one night stand. I don't understand this kind of stuff. Well, yeah.

But I mean, so if it was like that, I think it would be a little bit different. But we're like, we already own a house together, which is way more legally binding than. Did you know the average mortgage lasts for longer than the average marriage? Like, you know? If you've got a mortgage, what's the difference? Like, we're in it for life, you know? He is in it. Yeah.

Yeah. And I've always said that. Anyway, Isabel... Isabel has a great story about her three-year-old son. Oh, they're married now. My love to say it is my son, who's just turned three years old. Oh no, it is their wedding day. Oh my god.

Sorry, Isabel. Now, I'm no mathematician. But if they've got a three-year-old and they're about to get married, something... Math's not mathin'. Something is awry. No, Isabel. Someone's done something. Isabel, you're a bad bitch. Nah, Isabel, we were all fuckin' before we got married. Don't you worry.

My love to see it is my son, who's three years old, and he just got his little outfit for the wedding. Oh, I love that. Doesn't that just melt your heart, especially after it's just what we were talking about? When he's all dressed up, he's got little suspenders and a little bow tie. Oh, that is so cute.

And all he wanted to do in the morning of the wedding was to go across the street to see his toddler bestie to kind of like show off his lap. He's like, oh, I just want to go show my friend my little overalls and mum. That is so cute. See, if you were having kids, it's worth not getting married first so that your kids can be there. Like, I love that. That's so cute. They're like a part of your big day. Yeah. I was at my dad's wedding when he got married again. That's so cute. They're like a part of your big day. Yeah.

I was at my dad's wedding when he got married again. That's when I knew my parents would never get back together. Sorry. That's not funny. No, it's not. It's not. I'm just so uncomfortable. Sorry.

Anyway, we'll be back tomorrow. No, thanks for sharing that, Isabel. Yeah, beautiful story. See back tomorrow. No, thanks for sharing that, Isabel. Yeah, beautiful story. See you tomorrow. Bye. Love you, bye. Well, I think we need to talk. You don't want to end like that?

You don't want to end like that? It's too soon. Yeah. Oh, I've got another love to see it. What is it? Based on this. I'm so sorry I can't remember your name, but I'll laugh when I read it. Oh, bad with names.

They said my love to see it is is when the love to see it starts, and you can see that. I saw this too, so good. And you can see the episode still has eight minutes to go, and you go, oh. There's some yada yada to be had. There's some yada yada to be frothing around here. Yeah, I reckon there's quite a bit.

Oh, and just to wrap, you know what? I know I've said this many times, but people listening know more and know it before we do. Oh, yeah, because we just start. Because they know it's going off the rails when they see 10 minutes remaining, but we don't know it yet. We just think we're both going to innocently talk about two things and then go, ha ha, see you tomorrow. We'll just wrap this up

in 30 seconds and people are listening going, well, I can see on the screen that that's not going to happen. There's also been so many times where we're like, oh, is that a bit long? But then whenever we post something long everyone's like, oh, long. Give me more. So we're like, oh, is that a bit long? But then whenever we post something long, everyone's like, oh, long. Give me a moment.

All right. Have fun at your weddings today, everyone. Love you. Love you. Bye. No sex before marriage. You fucking dirty, disgusting, ungodly creatures. Nah.

Stop fucking. Sorry. Love you guys. Bye. See ya. Bye.