Toni and Ryan - 🌽 Hardcore Corn 🌽

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] Normal or Nah - Surprise corn - Backing your best friends - love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is sponsored by the Audible original Pride and Prejudice, an intimate performance that will have you falling in love with the Jane Austen classic all over again. One of the greatest romance novels ever written. Your wife Bridges are Pride and Prejudice fan, isn't she? Huge, loves it. Well, she'll love this. It stars a full cast, including Marisa Abella, as Elizabeth Bennett, and Harris Dickinson as Mr. Darcy, plus Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Will Poulter, Bill

Nye and Glenn Close as Lady Catherine DeBerg. This new adaptation is vibrant and modern with an original new score by a Grammy-nominated composer. Whether you're fresh to Pride and Prejudice or want to revisit a cherished favourite, you're in for a new and delightful listening experience. Listen to the new Pride and Prejudice at audible.ca. Today's episode is brought to you by Audible. And let me tell you, Audible's romance collection has something for every day. side of you. We're talking modern

rom-coms from authors like Lily Chew and Ali Hazelwood, the latest Romantic series from Sarah J. Mars and Devney Perry. Regency favourites like Pride and Prejudice, plus all the really steamy stuff. Maybe you're into hockey hunks, ooh, or

sexy billionaires. Like Tony Lodge. Yeah. Or not that she's into it, she is a sexy billionaire. Or forbidden realms. Oh and you know what I'm saying a forbidden realm. Who needs one? book boyfriend when you can have five one in the city one on the hockey rink one with a sword and dragons your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at

audible.ca little warning you may develop unrealistic expectations of real life people and that's okay that's fine totally fine who are the scariest people you can meet teenagers in shopping centres so this lady she's with her two year old yeah and they're looking at the little displays of the model train set at the supermarket. A whole bunch of you start walking up. Oh, God. And she kind of goes, and then she breathes a sigh of relief

because they kind of just, like, walked past. Oh, my God. But then one of them stops and turns around. Are you sure this is you? I'm Hannah from Kansas, USA. This is Aaron from Lewiston, Maine, in the US. I'm Shannon from Bulligan, Australia. And I approve this podcast.

Welcome to a Thursday Feels right Good luck to Brisbane and Geelong in the grand final this weekend It's been a hard week It's been a hard week Let's do normal or nah Because Tapa Jenny

Who has submitted this via the Tony and Ryan Facebook group Has something to say And it's Jenny Jenny Microwave Jenny Not microwave Jenny Corn on the cob fucking rules Yes

Corn not on the cob fucking sucks And I hate it Oh I really wish to just And you said corn not on the cob Fucking drools Do you know how at school Be like blue rules

Red drools Like at the faction Kindle or whatever I've never heard that What? Yeah no I think I was cool in high school So

I wasn't Tarpa Jenny wants to know if these thoughts Whilst conflicting are in fact normal or nah I'll take both corns I'm a fan of corn I'm not really a fan of corn in stuff When it's a surprise though Okay

Let me A surprise corn Tell me where you'd find a surprise corn Like you know when sometimes If you're having like a chicken pot pie or something And you get a burst of sweetness And you didn't need it then I'd tell you where else

you get a random corn sometimes in a rissol. You do. And I just don't think you need the burst of sweetness. It's a bit like when you have a Massaman curry and it's got like the pineapple in it. And you go, wow, I get it. Love the tradition. But no thanks. Yeah, I'm having curry tonight and you just reminded me of that.

Like it's simmering away at home right now. What type? It's not a Massaman pineapple. I love Massaman, but the pineapple throws me. No, I think we're going like green coconuty. you know, some brocolini and... The other night. Actually, it was while we were watching the fucking us getting knocked out of the finals.

I'm so sorry. Yeah, well, I was watching Hawthworn and Twelps and I ordered tie. And on the... The Australian tradition. Yeah. And I, on the thing, I had a red duck curry, which fucks, do not get me wrong. And it had light cheese in it. No, I was going to say, it's sweet.

Well, similar to the Master Man thing. The pineapple isn't rogue, like, it's part of the, like, actual traditional thing. But, like, the lachian, and I was like, yeah, is that unwanted sweetness? Is it good, you know? Ducks got something weird with who it hangs out with. Ducks. Yeah. Oh, I've got a huge family announcement.

But first, when you get a red duck, carry, often. My wife is a duck. A sweet red capricum or a lachy or something. A cacum doesn't throw me, though, because in my mind, that's savory. I've got a huge announcement. Yeah. Is it duck related or chicken related? Chicken's just a duck that's a loser.

All right, listen up. Chickens, wait, chickens are a loser or ducks are a loser? Like a loser is like, no, the chicken is like a less good duck. Oh, I totally agree. In my mind just then, though, I heard the opposite and I was like, a chicken is not better than a duck. No, correct, correct. Wait, we're on the same thing.

Yeah, sorry, yeah. There is a separate, so there's my family group chat and there's a separate group chat which is, that I'm in, which is the Christmas lunch planning group chat. Have we got to duck in news? And I can confirm, no, I've pushed for to duck in, but I can confirm the big roast hero dish in my family this year for Christmas day is we're having a duck. A big roasted duck, maybe on the webber. Crazy.

Who's house? Our place and Bridget's cooking. Wow. So who's this for? Just you? No, the whole family. The whole family. Cousins, grandma, aunties, uncles.

I'm not being funny. You never are. But a duck's pretty small. How many are you haul on? Bridge reckons she can get three quackers on the... I was going to say I reckon you'd need three or four, yeah. Yeah, so we can get three on the web as she reckons. Yep.

But so it was on the week. and I was away with my auntie and uncle and they were like, oh, we could do this. Should we glaze a ham? And Bridge goes... A ham, fuck. So you've got to do a ham as well. So we're doing a glazed ham.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the, but the hero will be the... Because the ham is a good number two. Oh, yeah, no, it's just part of it. Yeah. It's an auxiliary meat, a ham. But it can't be the number one. Oh, no.

It's a number two man. No, no, no. It's good enough to stand on its own, but you need your hero. And bridge goes... Oh, a leg of lamb. Should I do a duck? And the whole table just went. That's fun.

Yeah. I love that. Yeah. You want to come around? Well, we're going to be in Bali for Christmas. Sorry about. Actually. So I'm not cooking anything.

No. No, you're really not. I'll be having a mass man with the bloody pineapple in it. Michael has a normal or nah. Thanks, Michael. Hi, Michael. Oh, but yay to Jenny with the corn. Corn on the cob.

does fucking rule and mystery corn no corn on the cob fucks it's so good do you know what I like about a corn on the cob that it's an activity

it really like it's an event like if you are sitting down eating dinner and you're like well yeah knife and fork whatever but then you get it and it's like a bit of a break

yeah the corn on the cob yeah go put my cutlery down really settle in all right now you know how sometimes I'll set a challenge for everyone for the weekend oh do you remember my favourite challenge ever

which was everyone has to go and do a pub roast on Sunday. Yeah. And then you didn't do it. No, I did it first. Oh, but like that following me. Because then I went to the St. Andrew's pub and I didn't realize it was a biker pub. And the roast was like interesting. Oh.

Cool. A lot of bikers here and everyone goes, yeah, you went to the wrong one. Oh, there's the biker pub and then the Pantan Hill one. I got a mixed up. Oh. No, I did it first. Remember I went to St. Kilda and did that.

No, but then I was like, I've never done this before. Everyone's got to do it. It's very good. what was I going to say oh the challenge here's the challenge for the weekend sneak some corn into something no no not approved surprise corn is not good surprise someone with some corn no no can't believe you just chose violence then and said that I didn't do the the pub thing it was my challenge remember being in that biker pub alone and just feeling well that's up to you you didn't invite me to the biker pub sorry my phone's fucking popping off and just

I'm like, fuck off. You're somewhere to be, mate? No. What's up none? I'd throw it, but it's going to make a huge noise. I'm getting texts. People saying, why isn't Tony messaging me? Oh, it's Charles.

Charles, stop it. He's just texted saying, off-grid living in Western Port Bay. Fuck off. Yeah, we're still on Kilcada. Kilcunda. What'd you call me? Are we moving in Canada? What if we moved to Bali?

I'll scope it out while I'm there. Please. Michael, it's got a normal or now? Hi, Michael. As a penis have her, I'll flush the toilet when I'm almost done pissing and then, like, try to beat it. What do you mean? So I'll try to finish pissing before the water finishes swirling and drains.

So, like, the race is on. Sorry, my foot's really soft. What happened? I just... Fow down some stairs. Do you mean the originally dream? Yeah, sorry. I was about to be like, I've just tweaked it a bit funny,

but no, that's funny. Thank you. Thank you. Do you do that? No. I'd usually finish paying, then flush the toilet. Aren't you holding on to your hose? You can't reach over and do a button while you wielding that thing.

I think Michael's got two hands. No, that's a two-hand job. Oh, so you're saying he's like... Surely you're wielding. A two-hander. Charles, could you imagine if you went to a, like, you wrote the football and it's, you know, a big public bathroom, there's the piss trainer. And a guy just got two hand, like a double hand grip on it.

He's got fucking right at that. Do you know, I would do comedy fire to penis. And because I'm not doing it while by I have a vagina. But if I, I'd like, whoa. Like, have you? That's the challenge for the weekend. If you go to a public bathroom, you go, wow. Like, wow, this thing's out of control.

Like it's a fire hose you can't handle. Yeah. That's the challenge. The pub's on too high. That's the challenge. Okay, give me your top, if you had a penis for a day and you had to do five comedy moves give me your top five that's the first one that's the first one definitely um um what else is there is there five five funny things to do with a penis i'd love to come

with a penis like i just would love i feel like i could be arranged um i feel like the thought of coming happening on the outside of my body feels so crazy because like when like an orgasm for a boy it's like it happens on the outside but an orgasm for a girl it's like happens on the inside you know like yeah do you know what I mean I do but and so I would love to this is why you need it yeah and so I would just love to feel the difference um I'd love to maybe if it happened during a pay cycle I'd love to get paid the extra 15% that would be comedy so guys

I've got a new joke it's called getting paid bottom word it's called um cancelling the gender pay gap

yeah some edgy political comedy today I'm on it's my foot I'm getting crazy now

um yeah that'd be my moves yeah would you like to do a wrist watch what's a wrist watch will you get

wristy no no you like wrap it around your wrist and pretend it to watch you've never done that no but i'm assuming you'd have a big one oh yeah i would yeah yeah see i don't do the wrist watch i do the um tamagotchi yeah like the no i also like to do the um the vix inhaler dix inhaler that was tony's nickname in college yeah um may it leave us Oh, sorry, it's called school, Lee's here. Yeah, I'll spring break for those overseas. Uh, finally. Spring break, woo-hoo.

Cassidy Kirtner. Hi, Koechow. Oh, Cassidy Kirtner. Yeah. Hardly know her, but I do know I can see her all the time. In the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, I call comments. Sorry, guys, I've gotten a bit kooky. We need to give the first half of this story the like, the respected deserves.

Uh, in a, sorry, hang on, I need to stop thinking about me going, going, it's about a children's clinic love it so put your fire hose away yeah no so fair Cassidy Cassidy Curtner at a children's clinic

in Arizona in the children's clinic in Arizona there is a beautiful dog named Boz who plays with all the children and keeps them happy and smiling Oh that is so sweet like a little therapy dog

Yeah Now Boz's owner is Tapa Cassidy that's like that's her dog um and and cassidy works at the center so she takes boz in and like takes good care of now you might not know this tony but arizona that's like desert it's real hot as fuck yeah so after boz has been running around with the kids he gets pretty warm and the coolest place for the dog to lie down is on the cold tiles in the bathroom oh yeah you know and you see dogs like if you've got a dog the kitchen the bathroom they'll find that or the cold concrete somewhere they're splutin yeah they're splutin yeah

So often Boz lies... Pippa does it as well after a walk. Where's her cold spot here? Normally just in front of the door. Yeah. Because see how there's a gap under our front door? Oh, yeah. And it actually like quite a lot of wind comes through and it really cools that down.

So she lays her tummy right there because that's where the air comes through. So Boz likes to lie down on the cold tiles in the bathroom at the child's play center. I like that. And it's the staff bathroom. Yeah. He likes to lie down there. and this is where the normal or nigh comes in. Taffa Cassidy says 50% of people will kick boss out why they pee because they're like going to the bathroom.

Like, Boss, come up, but, and then they'll do their business and like, all right, you know, back on the tiles. And the other 50% just like, don't give a fuck and we'll just let sleeping dogs lie as they piss. What do the Tarpers reckon? Is pissing with a dog in the room normal or nah? Asked Tapa Cassidy. And thank you for sending this through.

That's an amazing normal or nah And I cannot wait to hear people's answers In today's episode, sorry Ed Yep My first instinct was Will I pee with Pippa in the bathroom all the time But does it matter if that's your dog But I wouldn't pee with BJ in the bathroom

Wouldn't you? No Stranger dog Like he's not my Well he's my family But I don't think I'd wait with him in the bathroom Yeah so Brian and I Pee together regularly as you know

Yeah Um, because we'll both go out to the backyard for a piss in the night. Would you pee with Piper in the room? Yeah, I think I... But she's a lady. Yeah, that's, I'm like, look, look, like, look the other way. Yeah. But I, I think it's like, my first instinct is like, oh, who fucking cares?

But then when I think about it, I'd be like, go on, I just jump out. You can't, you. Yeah. It's a bit like, like, like, when I grew up, and often when I go to pee, I'm not just peeing. Yeah, so true. And boss doesn't want to deal with that. I was going to say.

Yeah, so yours is more of like a favour. Yeah. You're like, I'm going to give you the opportunity to hop out. You can stay if you want. Yeah. But I'm just letting you know that you probably don't want to. Because I think that like growing up, like I would always, if like mum was doing a wee or something, I would like go in there and talk to, like, that's not, doesn't feel weird. And like if, if Tobs was weeing or whatever, I would go and chat with him.

Bridget and I wouldn't do that. No. And my mum. But she doesn't do poo chat and stuff. So it makes sense. But even mum, I don't think I would ever just walk in. for a chinwag when I was little. I thought you were going to say now?

And I went, well, no, not now. No, like, probably ever. Even when you're a kid? Yeah, probably not. Nah, see, I definitely always did with mum. I wonder if it's just because we're both girls. Like, that probably plays a part. Girls bathroom, chat.

You know, like, I probably never would have done it like, like, I certainly have never done that like with my dad or my brother or anything. Yeah. But, like, yeah, with my mum, probably not even my sisters. over the weekend I went to the toilet with Mabel and she goes oh no I don't need to wee and I go yeah but dad needs to oh yeah and she goes oh but I don't and she was just like I don't need to go and because she's really she's potty training she's killing it but she knows she knows when she needs to go she knows when she doesn't yeah and she goes no no no and I said

oh dad dad needs to do booze and she goes oh okay I'll come with you dad and then we walk out of the toilets because you're in the like cubicle or whatever yeah Yeah, and it's just at a park so they're just like four, you know, all gender, whatever. Yeah. We're at a playground and we walk out and there's like a bunch of kids and some mums and stuff. And Maywell just goes, Dad did poos. Do you know what? You are entering an amazing world of comedy because the amount of hilarious videos...

I'm quite happy to not be... The amount of hilarious videos and comments I've seen online of like people saying that, like, I've watched this fucking Corker like recently and it was this young woman and she goes I've just gone to the toilet with my son we're in a public like in a shopping centre or something she sat down and the son goes why is that hairy down there oh my god and obviously like we're born with hair on our bodies not a big deal but also shut the fuck up yeah yeah yeah not a big deal but shut the fuck up but also So shut up before I hit you in the mouth. Shub a Musley bar in there to keep you quiet.

So in a family change scenario. Because it's like the big like communal like. Yeah. So there's often and sometimes scared that like I'm in a disabled bathroom that I'm not. Because often it's like men's women and then there's like family slash disabled. It's like just the bigger roomier one. Yeah. And it's also like slash parents change room because it's got the drop.

And I'm always like double checking because I'm. I'm like, I don't want to be... Well, you don't want to take up a bathroom that, yeah. That's not for us. But a lot of those have the button where it like, you press the button and it locks. And so they're when daddy goes and does a poo and Mabel's just like standing there for a minute. And what a kids like to do? Push buttons.

Push it. Yeah. And it's like you're doing in there. I'm trying to push a shit. She's pushing shit. And then it's never within reach. No. Yeah.

Yeah. And be like, roo. Yeah. And you got like a turd hanging out. Yeah. Yeah. Or strangler. You've got a turtle head poking out.

What's that word when it's a... Prairie doggen. A dag? A gag? Yeah. I can't remember the question, but normal. I'm Hannah from Kansas, USA. It's Aaron from Lewiston, Maine in the US.

I'm Hannah from O'Don, Australia. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. This episode is sponsored by RBC and you know that feeling when you're not sure about how to get into the job market or you can see the future you want but you don't know how to get there? Absolutely. It's tough out there. It's tough. Well, that's where RBC comes in. They've got scholarships to support students as they study, ways to network so you can connect and learn more about what interests you and tools to grow your skills so you're ready for the jobs of tomorrow. So it's really not just about opening doors but giving you the confidence to walk through. If you've got ideas, big dreams, or just that little spark of what if, check out RBC.com slash open doors to make your ideas happen.

Today's episode is brought to you by Audible. And let me tell you, Audible's romance collection has something for every side of you. We're talking modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Ali Hazelwood, the latest romantic series from Sarah J. Maas and Devney Perry, Regency favourites like Pride and Prejudice, plus all the really steamy stuff. Maybe you're into hockey hunks, ooh, or sexy billionaires, like Tony Lodge. Yeah. Or, not that she's into it, she is a sexy billionaire.

Or forbidden realms. Oh, and you know what I'm saying of a forbidden realm. Who needs one book, boyfriend, when you can have five, one in the city, one on the hockey rink, one with a sword and dragons? Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial. at audible.ca. Little warning, you may develop

unrealistic expectations of real life people and that's okay. That's fine. Totally fine. A massive shout out to if you have our champion topions from the Patreon. Can I give you a Patreon? Are you ready for it?

It's not really. Time. Okay. No, that's all right. No, no, no, no. No, you go. No, you go. No, you know what?

I broke protocol by doing this here. I never do it here. So you go. In two weeks, there will be a big announcement about Patreon. Do you know what that is? Yeah. Is it in two weeks, though? We're around then.

Okay. Ravi, thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. Rachel Gibson. caruso cc i love the name cc uh there's a c in a tv show that we shall not name new girl yep that's the one why would we not name it because maybe it wasn't the one what show people will let you know in the comments but i wouldn't say that the name of the show and you'll know why when you see it it's not bad for like just there's a cc in the office is a cc in 30 rock

There's a C-C and you girl? Hang on, I'm going to have to Google. Pretty little liars. Shake it up. See if they're going to name a TV show you won't name. What TV show? Yeah, no, we can't talk about it. What show is it?

Doesn't matter. I just have to say that you actually know that I can't do that, so you need to just tell me. But if I tell you, we'll all regret it. What? Oh. Yeah. What? Is it Brooklyn?

No, no. What is it? Oh, Lenny. Who? Let's care of a time to describe. Katie Lamb, no. I'll respect that you weren't going to say it. Mitch Byrne.

Bern. Stacey Thornton. Alexander Calderon. Oh, I almost had. Caldron, Cooper Anderson, Andy Lockwood, and Sparky. Thank you very much, being by Patreon. Absolutely love to see it. Thank you very much.

Big Patreon announcement in a few weeks. Two or so. Okay. Also next Friday, we're listening to Taylor's Fis' new album on a live stream in Patreon. That's not the big announcement, but we'll be doing that. That's pretty cool. If your friend breaks up with someone. Yep.

Isn't it like real natural as a friend to just be on their. their side. 1,000%. You don't even really know what happened. No. You don't know the detail. You went there, but you're like, well, I'm on your side. And I think it's especially a time when you kind of, you don't need to like play devil's advocate.

You know how there are sometimes when you go, well, you can kind of see from this perspective or whatever. I think in that moment, you just need to be on their side 100%. So let me tell. tell you about a tarpa named Arba. Hi, Arbor. I met Arbor a few weeks ago. Yeah? And he comes up to me and said, uh, at a conference.

Where'd you meet Arbor? Oh. Yeah. I wasn't there. No. I went home. It was boring. And Arbor said, Ryan, I really love you and Tony.

Love the podcast. But my ex loves you like crazy and it would make him so jealous if we like got a photo together. And I went, fuck yeah. Fuck that guy. Nice. I was like, yep. You know what? Don't worry about it.

I'll do a photo show. Let's do a video. Yep, okay. I was like, Arbor, is that all right? And he goes, yeah, yeah. And I was like, so, and I'm like, gay, mate. Fucking, I heard you like the show.

Well, guess what? I'm hanging out with this guy. He's a fucking legend. You really missed out on a good bloke because he's a fucking legend and fucking suck a big dick. And, you know, just really like gave him a huge rubber. Just really kind guy. Good for our brand.

Good for... Yep. Yeah. Yep. Just really laid into... And was just like, you've missed a winner here, you know?

There's winners and losers in a break... You... Like, you... Yeah. You had a good thing going and fucking whatever. Yeah. Really like,

let this... Have it. It's also a tougher so I can't feel bad. In hindsight. And also, we don't know that Arbor isn't like a murderer.

Well, I've learned some... Well, he's not a murderer. I don't think. But I do know more about Arba since making that video. Okay. And again,

I don't know Arbor that. well that because he was a tarpa I just went well obviously I'm on your side totally whatever's happened in that breakup I'm with you dog yeah no totally because you got to us first yeah yeah and so I said message is gone through off it goes and Arbor goes anyway so I'm on my way to a rally right now and you go oh fuck no I'm off to in hiding because I just killed those guys yeah no so I ended up having a beer with Arbor because we both had a bit of time skill and we're like oh I've got to just both these are hanging around for them yeah oh do you want to

grab a drink yeah so grab a beer and I said oh you know so with that bloke like you know what happened what happened and he goes yeah I cheated on him he goes yeah he was a really great guy we got along really well and I was just I've made a huge fuck up and I like yeah I cheated on him and like what an idiot and he like rightfully left me and I was like arva I just backed you like I was like look what you missed out on it's like he'd cheated like I was the one It fucked it up. Shouldn't have Arpa being like, can you make my ex a video saying like, I was really sorry and wishes that, you know, like.

But I was like, ah, sucked in, mate. Like I told the guy that got cheated on sucked in. And he's a home crying. Yeah. And then I rock up and go, sucked in. He's a fucking legend. Oh, so we've lost to Tapa, like more than, oh, yeah. Because then I.

Then you told him to fuck off. Yeah. You said, can you give me your ex's number? Yeah. That is. So what did you say? I said, bro, you guys just said, you could have fucking told me that before I sent that video because like, it sounds like you're the bad guy.

And he goes, oh, yeah, I was definitely the one to fuck that up. Like, at least he was aware that he was in the wrong. But I was like, well, don't let me get on your side. And he's like, oh, but, you know, we just came in with some energy. And I was like, yeah, because I'm trying to back up. I thought he'd been dumped and, oh, you know, he was down the dump. I'm like, oh, this would be a bit fun. Oh, you know what I probably would have thought.

if you're willing to send a video to the X, you're probably on pretty good terms. Well, I think they were. But like, let's not make it worse. Well, you know when if sometimes you break up with someone, you go,

I'm never fucking talking to you again. You're not going to send them a video. No. Like, you know, you just probably no contact or you're like, oh. Or if I was like...

That British backpacker that got deported after we were together for a while, haven't heard from her. Haven't heard from it. And I get it. That girl that you broke up with over Facebook messenger, haven't heard from her.

Actually have. Very nice. Laura? Yeah. Laura. God, you got to type. Laura, Lauren. No, because strangely enough, and you're going to hate this.

You know how we were in the newspaper? We're in the newspaper. Recently the article that was about us. With that photo that's fucking eight years old. Everyone's like, God, Tony, you look like you've lost heaps away and your hair looks really good. I'm like, yeah, I'm actually fat and have really bad hair right now. That photo's really old. For those playing long...

They came and did a fucking photo shoot at our... office and it was the biggest pain in the arse. They took all fucking day and they didn't even use the phone. They didn't have an idea. They weren't really sure. So we're like figuring this out. They didn't even use a photo. My sister even sent me.

She goes, you look stunning. I go, yeah, it was five fucking years ago. 20 kilos and a fucking meter of hair ago. Yeah. So Laura message and said, you guys look great, glad. I bet she did. Yeah. But she went, God, you look really young.

Yeah. You don't look at day over 34. Yeah. And she goes, glad to hear everything's working out well. That's lovely. Was that awkward? Interesting. I was about to say, was it awkward that the last message you said is your dump slot?

It was only like one scroll to find it. And I didn't say your dump slot. There was more nuance to that. Oh, I bet. Yeah. But yeah, you know, like I've, I've certainly got an ex that if I saw someone he loved, I wouldn't go, oh, get him to make a video for him. Yeah.

No. So I kind of, you go, oh, they're obviously on pretty good. terms of him to want to send a message. I hear you. You know what I mean? I hear you. So I think that you're not really in the wrong at all because you hear all those things and you go, well, you're obviously all good.

Well, if that guy's listening, I just want you to know that I didn't know that when I sent that video. That's great. Am we like, do we know his name? He, I just know him as Tarba's, Tarba. Tarba. Tarba Habah, Haba. Tarba's X.

So if you got. cheated on by a guy called Arba, who lives in Dallas. Yeah. Sorry. We're on your side. Yeah. And Arba, if you're watching... I'm also on your side.

But only to you. Whichever one of you we've retained, we're on your side. Yeah. Yeah, but fuck me. If I could see the look on my face when he said that. Yeah, cheated on him. And you, how far... So this is the other thing.

How far into the drink were you? So if you've had one... No, he was a good dude, though. No, but if he, so you've had one sip of a beer and he said that and you go, I'm not a city of ten minutes and listen to this, hang out of this fucking cheetah. Or I've got a whole old fashioned to go or something like, oh. Nah, it was at the Texan Gaylord and they had their own little like fucking. What'd you have?

Lager going on tap there or something. So polish that up. But, um, okay. Yeah. Thanks to that. So in, if you meet us, give us a bit of background. A bit of context. Yeah.

I'm happy to do anything, but just don't, don't, don't make me. pick the side of the guy that fucked about. Yeah, yeah. I got to you love to see it here. I'd love to say it here. And this is crazy news because who are the scariest people you can meet? Youths. Teenagers in shopping centres.

Not meet, but like come across like a gaggle of youths. This lady. Yeah. She's with her son who's... I'll tell you what, sorry, the youths are rife. at the moment, because school holidays. Oh, Jesus, fucking kids. All right.

So this lady, she's with her two-year-old. Yeah. And they're looking at, like, the little displays of the model train set at the supermarket. Oh, cute. And the kids are, like, looking at it, like, looking really interested. And the lady's like, oh, it costs like, you got to put, like, coins in to, like, make it go around and whatever. Oh.

And they're, like, pretty. Like, they say you can't mean. And they're pretty tight on funds. Yeah. And the guy was kind of just enjoying looking at it. And so she goes, oh. Yeah. Oh, you too.

don't really put a couple dollars and it'll be right. We're just on our way home from the grocery shopping. Yeah. And these youth, like a whole bunch of youths start walking up. Oh, God. And they kind of walk, they all walk past. Are you sure this? You love to say it?

Yeah, but like, you got to trust me. So the youths walk up and then, and she kind of goes, oh, teenagers. Okay, so it's good to know that even when you become a parent, you're still scared of teenagers. I'm a parent. I'm terrified of teenagers. So they walk up towards the,

the train thing. Oh, and they smash the glass and shove the train up with bums. She's... Something. Something crazy. And then she breathes a sigh of relief because they kind of just, like, walked past. Oh, my God. And she does that.

But then one of them stops and turns around and walks back and goes, excuse me. And she goes, yeah. And the kid pulls our dollar out of his pocket and puts it into the machine. went and to make it go around you know for a minute or so so the little kid can watch it and the kid goes I really liked watching the trains when I was little as well and then just like walked off and like then run off to catch up with his friends that is so sweet so if you see some teenagers just know that they won't always try to shove a train up

asshole like Tony assumed was the case sometimes sometimes they won't do that I'll believe that yeah but don't you love to see that that is so beautiful the youth of today I reckon that whoever's like parent like that kid who put the money in like their parent would be so proud to hear that they did that that's so beautiful his parents were arbor and that other guy so they're they're rough times in their house at the moment I've got to you love to see it as well because and I think that this goes back to

like actually you're doing good deeds when you don't expect it so a few weeks ago I broke my foot you wouldn't read about it but I did break my foot and lots of people

A dancer's fracture thank you for asking and so I have been like relegated to the house and I've been relying on other people kind of doing stuff for me and it's been like it's been kind of humbling because I've had to like ask for a lot of help and some people like lots of people have offered to do things

actually the crew from my CWA branch they dropped off a bunch of meals and stuff so you're the people they take care of yeah it's my community you guys it's so beautiful goes to one meeting yeah I pay the fee as well. But no, they dropped around some knitting I can do to sell at one of the stalls. Oh, so they're like, let's get it at work.

Well, I was like, I'm a bit bored and they were like, will you be knitting a lot? Do you want to, you know, want some more stuff? That's actually... Dropped off a bunch of meals, like a bunch of pumpkin soup and a heap of like pasta sauce that we can just, yeah. So it's like so beautiful. Anyway, um... Drop any bobby sodas around or? No.

We can't afford that. Pay membership fee. My yearly membership costs less than a carton of bobby fucking collar. Anyway, people have offered to do stuff and it's so beautiful. And you actually offered Ryan to get me a bunch of socks from Uniclo, which would have been so beautiful of you. And like, the thing was three, four weeks ago that you offered to do that. And you didn't.

But my love to see it is that I got a knock on the door on Friday from my friend who is part of the youth community. Charles with a bag of socks from UniClo all the colours you can see the video

it's in Patreon we uploaded it Charles would never do a good deed without filming himself doing it would he? Neither would you

you just wouldn't do it yeah well when the tie's out on good deeds you know when you actually do the good deed

you can record or not record anything the fuck you're still You've still done it. Yeah, no, that is fair.

I get this knock on the door. It's Charles with a bag from Uniclo, full of socks, um, like seven pairs, all different colors. Like, so beautiful.

Oh, what a great idea. My, uh, my, my love to see it is, uh, that Charles did that.

That was very sweet. So the youth, the youth of the community are really coming through. My love to see it is, um, the fact that the reason for the delay is because I, custom ordered. you some socks did you but now you've already got

are you lying now you're lying now you're lying I don't lie I just tell fictional stories so so Arba wasn't real Tapa Arba he doesn't exist he never cheated on anyone asked Willie that guy's as real as it gets so because you don't need the socks anymore

I'll cancel the custom order no I still no it sounds like you've already got enough socks well if they're custom and they'll be different anyway so you never have too many No, well, you can, because you only got two feet. I've only got one at the moment. Yeah, see, you've already got double the amount. No, it's actually great because it's even less time I've got to do washing.

So I'd love some more. No, they've already been cancelled. Oh. How'd you do that? I just texted. Did you have? Yeah. Boop, boop, bo.

Have I done? Yeah, I did. I did the youth. It's just a day for the youth. It is. So, Charles, the little boy with the train. Yeah. Little Tony with a little feet.

Yeah. Thank you very much. much for listening. Yep. Who are we barricing for, so tomorrow in Melbourne, this is so crazy, tomorrow in Melbourne is public holiday.

Yep. We have a public holiday for the AFL grand final parade. Yep. So it's a long weekend. Get out there and enjoy it. I think the weather's going to be absolutely fucking garbage.

Great. For the next three days, which is awesome. But who are we barricing for? To quote the coach of the Hawthorne Hawks, I hope they both lose. No one. He literally, that's my love to say it.

Who do you hope wins? He goes, I hope they all lose. And I'm like, agree. He goes, Yeah, who are you, because no one hope they all lose. Brisbane Lines versus Geelong cats.

Could I give less of a fight? I think I'll probably go for Brisbane. I feel like I want to. But Geelong will definitely win though. I feel like I want to go for Brisbane, but because Jolong knocked us out. Yeah, because like fuck them. Yeah, so that feels like, I'm like, oh.

Yeah. But Jolong are definitely going to win, which is so much more annoying. Sketchian will be happy. He's a Jolong, man. Is he? How would you know? How would you know?

It's not like he's texting. me every fucking five minutes for the last three weeks just revered me right the fuck up just the... Bless him.

Anyway, I think he was hammered when he's I got to text it like 3am after the Hawks' Cats game. Well, he was there. I know.

I was there with him. Oh yeah. Didn't have any socks. Making up stories. I didn't have any socks to wear I'd love to come but I don't know any sucks.

I had to cancel a little things. Have a great weekend. We'll chat to you on Monday. See you next month. Love you. you, oh, is the next month?

Oh, it's not even. Bye. Finching a bunch. I haven't seen you since last month. Next week is the new bump there. What day? Wednesday. Fuck.

Shame. Love you. Bye. This episode is sponsored by RBC. And you know that feeling when you're not sure about how to get into the job market? Or you can see the future you want, but you don't know how to get there. Absolutely. It's tough out there.

It's tough. Well, that's where RBC comes in. They've got scholarships to support students as they study, ways to network so you can connect and learn more about what interests you, and tools to grow your skills so you're ready for the jobs of tomorrow. So it's really not just about opening doors, but giving you the confidence to walk through them. If you've got ideas, big dreams, or just that little spark of what if,

check out RBC.com slash open doors to make your ideas happen. Today's episode is brought to you by Audible. And let me tell you, Audible's romance collection has something for every side of you. We're talking modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chew and Ali Hazelwood, the latest Romantasy series from Sarah J. Maas and Devney Perry, Regency favourites like Pride and Prejudice, plus all the really steamy stuff. Maybe you're into hockey hunks, ooh, or sexy billionaires, like Tony Lodge. Yeah.

Or not that she's into it. but she is a sexy billionaire. Or forbidden realms. Oh, and you know what I'm saying? A forbidden realm. Who needs one book, boyfriend, when you can have five. One in the city, one on the hockey rink,

one with a sword and dragons. Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.ca. Little warning, you may develop unrealistic expectations of real life people and that's okay. That's fine, totally fine.