Toni and Ryan - Has Anyone Watched Baywatch More Than Toni?

Episode Date: April 15, 2026

Comfort movies - NORMAL or NAH - Ryan's colonoscopy prep - love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm actually not even kidding you. I reckon I watch the remake of Baywatch with the rocking it. Once I'm up. I love it. It's the best movie. I'm Deion from Parks, New South Wales.

Hi, I'm Lucille from BOPB in Switzerland. Hi, I'm Deborah from New Mono Beach, Australia. And I agree this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. She filled out the doc. Instead of saying, Miss, you said, Doctor on your mind. one card.

Yes, that's right. They printed it. Yeah, I've still got it. She's a doctor. So if you spent $100,000 going to medical school. It's like, ah? Just do what I did. And then on the plane when people go out there is a director on board, I go, it's a long story.

But thank you for joining us. This is a safe, well. Safe space. Is it safe? No judgment. Oh, yeah, it's safe, but we're fucked. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's not the same thing.

It actually isn't. Like, we can all be fucked. Fucked together. No judgment. So nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So settle in, relax. You've had a busy day.

The world's kind of crazy. You can spend 30 minutes talking about bullshit with your friends. Yeah, and that's all. We're friends. Yeah. And Charles, be your friends as well. It's time for normal or nah. And Tapa Priyanka.

Hi, Priyanka. Has our message through. Priyanka Chopra? The megastar? Yeah. That's amazing. She's a Tarpa. She's married to a Jonas.

Who's a Jonas? like a Jones brother oh which one or just one of them doesn't matter Jonas squared Nick that

glad I asked because they is Prianga thank you Daniel you could have gone Of course fucking Danielle knows which Jonas

you could have gone Trevor and I would have gone great do you know who Prianka Chopra is she's actually better than being married

to a Jonas she's better than them because she's in my favorite movie ever the Baywatch remake she is too yeah she's the bad guy in the rock

She's great as a bad guy. It's a bad guy. Oh, well, yeah. I think you know she's a bad guy the whole time. You might not see it coming. I love that fucking movie. I watch it so much. I reckon I watch the remake of Baywatch with the rocking it once a month.

I'm actually not even fucking kidding you. Danny put that in this week's notebook. Hand on heart. I reckon I watch it at least once a month. Because it starts with, we can never be free. It's Major Laser. I love it. It's the best movie.

So what did he get his penis stuck in the chest? What's the highest rotation movie in your household? Because once a month feels high. It's a comfort movie. I reckon it would be between the Baywatch remake with The Rock and Zach Ephron. Yep. It's complicated with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. I watch that movie all the time.

It's a really high comfort one. Yep. What else is a comfort movie? Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I watch that pretty regularly. And then aside from that... Primitive War? I've watched that once with some Henrietta and her chicken.

Yep. But then... Aside from those three films, it's probably normally... Like, Torb's tonight at the moment we're watching Housewives. Yep. Beverly Hills. We're getting up to date with Beverly Hills. But comfort shows the Office US. Yeah.

It's something that I'd put on probably most weeks. If I just want something in the background, because it's never going to surprise me. I know exactly what's coming. If I had to guess, I just didn't see the remake of Baywatch coming. I love it. It's such a good movie. The Rock and Zach Efron. Say what you want about them as celebrities.

Comedic timing, comedic acting. It's phenomenal. They're amazing. It's really funny. And I think The Rock is a great actor. Like, he's in so much stuff. He's really funny. Zach Efron's great.

I mean, have you seen High School Musical one? Not two. Two's not great. Really? The first one is good, but the second one is not like that. What happened in the second one that wasn't? They just got a bit too, like, they were like, oh, well, the girls, the girl he's loved that Zach Efron had blue eyes.

Let's make him blueer. And he only wears blue in that movie to make his eyes as blue as possible, and it's like a bit freaky. But he sings in the second movie where he has the voice actor in the first one. It's not him singing in the first one. I know. That's going to break a lot of hearts. In the second one, though.

No, when he does, I'm never going to stop, never going to give it up, whatever. That's terrible when he's jumping on the golf course. Awful. And then he sings into the little coy pond. Terrible. I have seen the running on the golf course and that did confuse me. So you're saying he didn't sing in the first one. It's like his voice mixed in with, yeah.

So at the beginning when it's like, living in my own world, that's not him. All right. I'm going to look into down the barrel of this camera. And I'm going to mouth and you're going to do the singing. So I only have it on me. Do you know the words to that song though? Don't even know the song. Do you want to do a song that you know.

Do sushi in Japan. They say she too young don't want no man. That was hard. Like, am I fucked in the head or was that pretty good? I gave it then. You did. Oh, yeah, you popped your pussy off. Thank you very much.

Should we do a different song? I can't give you straight face now. What other song do we both know? Um, what about, um, if I've learned any, be, no, uh, Justin Biber. No, uh, Justin Bba. She was looking at. Can we be friends?

Oh, uh, which bit. Can you sing me a little bit of it? No, I can't remember any of it. Can we be friends. Be runny, bunny. I'm kind of going to be wrong. What about? Um, what's the song? Charles? The new Justin Biba one, the daisies.

How does that go? Oh. Because do you know that? You sound like you're doing the end of curb your enthusiasm. I don't know the baby song. I know that. Yeah, no, I know that I like it, but I don't know the words to it. Oh, I know say you love me or not.

That song, yep, sorry. Okay. Do you write a song that you know? Hang on, what's the beeper one where it's like? My mom, I don't like you and she loves everyone. Yeah, okay. My mom I don't like you and she likes it. everyone.

That was really good. Stop. You gotta keep going. Oh, sorry. And I never like to admit that I was wrong. And I've been so caught up in my something. Job. Didn't see what's going on.

But now I know I'm better sleeping on my own. Because if you like the way you look that much, oh, baby, you should go and fuck yourself. And if you like that I'm still holding on to something, you should go and fuck yourself. That was good. Yeah. That was great. That was great. That was good.

All right. Normal on now. People listening to the podcast don't appreciate just how much I dominated them. If you, fuck me, dead. If you've never watched on YouTube before, that might be a good reason to just have a little peek at that. So Ta-Opah Priyanka. Oh my God. I'm actually, that was my fault.

But the Baywatch movie is just so good. It's just an unlikely group of people that really thrive together. A real motley crew. Who's the girl in it who's also in White Lotus? Yes. Long brown hair. Alessian below. Kelly Rawbark.

No. Alexandria Daddio. Who's Kelly Roe back? I don't think she was in that. Yeah, no, no, no. She is in, she's the, like, hot girl that Robbie is, like, obsessed with. Oh, yeah. Like, the main girl.

Yeah, Alexandra Dadario. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's in the White Lotus. The guy from the office is in it. Who? Oscar Nues. Oh, Nunez, yes.

And Hannibal, Bures is great. didn't it as well. What's he doing that? He is Robbie's best friend. Like he's the other Coda guy. Gotcha. And where's actor Robbie? Was that John Bass?

Yeah, he looks good. Ronnie. Sorry, I was saying Robbie. Yep, John Bass. Yep. Click on it. Oh, fun's over. All right.

Priyanka. I hardly know her. Yep. Refusing to charge your phone overnight because you don't want to burn the house down. Normal or no? What the freaking hell. I refuse to charge my phone while I sleep no matter how little battery I have left because

what if it catches fire? I'll charge it when I'm awake. And there's a bonus reason. If my phone is dead, I can't doomskroll before bed. I'll sleep better and I won't burn to death, double win. Refusing to charge your phone overnight in case it sets on fire, normal or nah? Nah for me. Never even considered it.

Thanks for bringing it up. Yeah, thanks. I really needed another thing to be worried about. She is the villain today. She's the bad guy. Just like the Baywatch movie. Yeah. Have you seen that?

No. Yeah. Yeah. Once, which is an appropriate amount of times. That's not enough. Does that happen? Do we have data on that being an accurate worry? Maybe it's an android thing because they are known to explode.

Yeah, I get the worry actually. And if that helps you sleep better at night, that you don't have to worry about it, then fucking slay. But the difference is that I would then charge it, like say when I get home from work, I'd pop it on charge in the kitchen, and then it would be fully charged overnight so I could still set my alarm and whatever.

A charger in the kitchen is a great idea I should do that. It is a good spot for it, because then if you put your phone on charge in the kitchen, it's not like with you on the couch. Like so you can't then scroll or whatever. And normally, because while, if I'm cooking dinner or whatever, I'll put music on and then

Yeah, yeah Like it's just right there Because you don't really always charge your phone at night That's not because it's going to sit on fire It's just because you forget or can't find a charger I don't really have a place where I have a charger Yeah, that's so crazy to me Like when you said having on in the kitchen

I was like, that's a great idea But so then where are they? Like you don't have one at home Like that's so weird Like, I just don't know how Because it's not a choice I just don't Well, it is

It is a choice Well, it's not like I've gone I have decided To not have charges It's more just like I don't know where they are Yeah But you've got a dock at work

Like you've got a dock For your phone at work Where you can like put it on there And charge it Yeah, I should do that too Yeah Well, because that's what I've got At home

On my bedside table You got a dock Yeah like And I just pop it on there At night time That's a good idea And because I don't really use my phone that much during the day.

Like if we're recording and stuff, I'm not like on my phone. Yeah. So, but by nighttime, I never, I don't ever need to charge my phone during the day, really. Yeah. And then at nighttime, I just pop it next to me and then. I got some charges. Well, I don't. I've got so many fucking charges. I need to start using them and plugging them in.

Do you know, and I say this with love? I don't. Whatever you're about to say, I don't feel the love. I need you to love me up a little bit first. I need to spit on it before you shove it in. Okay, no, so fair. Love you in that. hat. Thank you. The hat does look good.

I think that where you've gone wrong in life. Wow. No, I think that where you've gone wrong in life is that... I'm getting a colonoscopy tomorrow, but I knew I was getting intruded in the ass today. We'll get to that. You, when your phone is getting low, I'd like to undo this. You buy like a charger at the servo. So all of your charges are really shitty quality.

and they're slow. Yeah, really slow. But, but like, they are slow. No, I know. What's the servos deal? Why can't they sell good charges? It's just because they're just shit quality.

Then fuck off. But so what I reckon is if you did a bit of an overhaul and you bought, say, three good charges and say had one next to your bed, one in your car and one in the kitchen or whatever, you would probably not have to charge your phone as much because it would charge better and faster. Because the thing is, is if you put your plug your phone in in the car, it charges maybe 1% because your fucking cables are all shit. Well, Charles got me a good cable and that saved me buying a new car. I remember I was going to buy the new car and then Charles goes,

have you considered this cable? And now I'm still driving the old car. So it's fine. But you know what I meant? 11 years old that car this year, found out. Throwback, yeah. Oh my God. Doing a great job.

Double did you. It doesn't look a day before. It doesn't actually. Yeah. It's aged well. Thank you. Silver. Beautiful car.

Gray. Sorry. Um, but if you, because then you don't have to charge your phone for as long and it doesn't get as hot. Like if you use a real charger, they don't get all fucking hot. Really? Because I charge one the other day and I could barely touch the phone after. That that that's fuck. And you know what I reckon as well because you've got that new Magna case, but it's not an Apple one, eh? No. It's like a cheap one. Yeah. So then they fucking set on fire too. Because the cheap plastic like heats up like a barbie in the microwave.

It actually does. This is getting real hot the other day. Yeah. So I think that. that probably if you just did a little bit of an overhaul on the charges you have. A charge audit. Yeah, charge your audit. Love it. I think that that would solve like a lot of your problems. Well, Charles saved me a lot of money. He saved me buying a new car by getting me that cable. How much of that cable cost? About $15 on Amazon. Great investment. The ROI. You really can't go wrong. And then... Well, you can. You can't go wrong with that.

Yeah. With that option. But I think the dock next to the bed is, really good actually because um you know what i like about it and this is a bit of a life hack a phone on a dock you can't pick up a phone on a charger you can pick up and keep using it well here's where i think that theory falls down because i just tack my phone into bed at night and then i go see you here's where your theory falls down you pick up the dock oh not the dock but i pick up my phone then i put it back on oh but if it's but if it's going flat or whatever like once my phone's on the thing, I wouldn't ever pick it back up. Here's my issue with that.

How am I supposed to scroll in bed? But that's what you're trying to solve. Yes, but the problem is that I can't scroll in bed. Yeah. No, and that's fine. What am I supposed to do? Go to sleep and not have extreme anxiety and need to scroll until I fall asleep. Yeah.

Yeah, believe it or not, looking at the world's issues through a fucking tiny screen in my bed doesn't help me sleep. You need a challenge your algorithm. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. That's right. That's actually on you. I got a normal or nigh here from Tapa Tawanda.

Hi, Tawanda. Oh, if we didn't like that last one, this isn't going to be fucking great. Oh, no. Do you know what? You look really good today. And may I say, it's a bit of a fucking T-Lodge special. I'm wearing a hat? Oh, hang on.

Hang on. First of all, the only reason someone can look good is if they look like Tony Lodge. No, but I just realized that like that exact outfit is just like, it's very, me, I love it. Denim jacket. Like I would wear the whole thing. I know. It's amazing.

And so you were like, who's this? Yeah. Reminds me of some hot slot I know. Oh, me. But like the Birkenstocks with sogs, the black on the bottom, the denim shirt, the heart. I love it. It's very good.

I just want to be Tony Lodge. It's really nice and wintry. We're kind of getting into that kind of territory. We're getting there. Tawanda. Dunking your biscuits in plain hot water. Tapa Tawanda asked normal or nah. And that's really upsetting.

There's no. need to wander about that because fuck no. How about you to wander off the end of a bridge? What? Into hot water? The only reason I have a tea or a coffee is because I love dunking the biscuits into it. But tea maths, a cup of tea is like 90% water and the other 5% is cheap. So we're basically just dunking our biscuits in hot water anyway.

I thought I'd cut out the middleman and just dunk the big... Oh, big tea! Oh, big tea! You don't want them to get a slice of it, do you? I thought I just cut out the middle man and just dunk my bickies in the hot water because it's basically the same thing, right? No.

Dunking your biscuits in plain hot water, is it normal or nah? The thing that I enjoy about it is, I mean, the only time I would have a tea without milk is if I was having like a herbal tea, like a green tea or a caramel mile or something, and in that case I wouldn't dip something into it because that sounds fucking disgusting.

But I think it's the, the taste of the tea and maybe the milkiness and the creaminess and the bit of the sugar if you had a bit of tea in your sugar that just gets into the thing yeah but i feel like dunking in hot water is just fucking that sounds so grim that's like when i remember it being a thing like in a cutting phase of like a for a bodybuilder eating like wheat bicks with water instead of with milk like god just give yourself the joy have the milk or just fucking end at all like you know just give up being a body If that's where we're at, then like, fuck, take me out. Become an accountant instead.

Yeah. You get to eat whatever you want. Really? And you get iTunes gift card. Any issues with the T-Maths? The T-Maths, I guess for me is that it's not 5% T because it's 100% T because it's now T. Yeah.

There's also another quirk of this sentence. I'm going to read it again and I want you to see what I find really funny. Okay. A cup of tea is like. 90% water and the other 5% is tea. What's the other five fucking hopes and dreams? She's 5% short of a $100 bill if you're not. No, To wonder, I love you.

And we're good friends. I see you at Christmas every year. But I just don't think that I can be on board with that. That's crazy. You can't be putting biscuits in hot water. I just, I lay down on the ground for that. That's terrible. And she lays down on the ground for everything.

Hi, I'm Lucille from Bealbien in Switzerland. Hi, I'm Deborah from Eamona Beach, Australia. I'm Deion, from Parks, New South Wales. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion Tarpers over at our Patreon. Thank you very much for being part of it. We can't do it without you. Stephanie Davidson, good on you, Steph.

Absolutely love to see it. Rachel Matajuski. Thanks, Ray. Big R I call it Joanne Leaker hardly know her Shea Sotelin

Good on your Shea Zally With an X X A L-L-I-E Okay Might be Zali Isn't that a cool name Is she related to

Christina Aguilera It just X-Tina That's very funny No but it's just The energy of her name And the energy Of 90s

Christina Aguilera Is the same energy Both purple That's close Fuck I wish just that it blew. Jessica Taylor, good on you, Jessica. Nathan Tui, good on you,

sorry, I can't believe that we both were so close on that. Lindsay Kennedy, absolutely love to see it, Lindsay. Yep, thanks, Lynn's. Marissa Nunez, Alyssa Jones and Rosemary Hughes. Like her sister,

tumric Hughes. I'm back on turmeric lattes. Bip-Bit-Bit-Bit-Bit-Bit-Bat-Bat. Breaking news. What? Could you know how we're... I've never even had... Oh, they're great.

You'll hate them. Why would I hate it? how we were away we were having a lot of like ginger tea like ginger and then I remembered like I had this drink once that was like a tumouric and ginger and like they're like friends that are often mixed into the same thing and like even those little shots and stuff yes and then I found this pre-mixed like kind of powder that was like turmeric with a bit of ginger bit of cinnamon and a bit of pepper and I was like I think I fuck with that and what do you do with it just add hot water or do you add milk or like because if it's a latte I think you would

you would maybe like with the coffee machine still like froth a milk yeah but it's milk yeah well you can you can have it it's kind of like chai you can have it either way yeah sure but i was looking for like to make a latte yeah yeah um because i think i want to like ease up on the coffee sure and especially like later in the day but i just love the feeling like of a hot drink yeah and we drank a lot of tea and i'm like i think i'm back on tea so i bought some some ginger and some stuff and then i saw the latte one and i went okay now that's nice and turmeric yeah apparently it's good for your head and your heart and everything. Yeah.

The only thing it isn't good for is like staining your bench. Well, it is very good at that. And I don't like the risk involved. It is. With a bright orange trick. It is a potent. Like it just gets, it's everywhere.

All right. Who would win in a fight of staining shit between turmeric, like paste, or beetroot? I was going to say, God, the only thing could be worse than is beetroot. beetroot, I think, has many after effects like you think that you're having internal bleeding when you shit after you have some beetroot. I think turmeric, though, is better at staining. I reckon, you can't get it out. It's huge.

What do you reckon? Yeah, it's pretty fucked. I've had... Charles just did a huge sigh when I said, tumourine. Beat, it's just like the worst thing to get out of anything. Yeah. Is it just because it's more cold? common.

Like beetroot happens more. Yeah, but I think especially turmeric, when you go latte and it starts getting creamy and pasty, like, yeah, but even the like, because I've cooked with like turmeric before and it gets all over your hands, like you can't get it off your hands. It's dangerous skin as well, which Beatrice does too, but. We've recently talked about when you're in high school and you hook up with someone and he tries to finger you after recently eating Doritos. Yep.

Oh, fingered with a tumour. My God. He's just had a turmeric latte. He'd never be able to lie to the next guy that he hadn't done it, you know? Yeah, because he'd pull it out and go, why is it yellow? Yeah. He's been here. Yeah.

Old turmeric fingers. They call him? That's what they call Charles. Oh, sorry, you're not well. Do you want me to not call your tumouric fingers? Yeah, not today. Not today. Nah, that's fair.

We're all having, we're all going through it. It's been a long week. Yes. Tomorrow I'm going in for my colonoscopy. You are, you're a brave boy. And I mean this genuinely, like, very brave. Thank you.

It's a fucking... We're getting checked for bowel cancer. I'm also with my butt started from scratch. I'm like, check everything. I want to know if I'm actually... You don't want to have a sore tummy anymore. I'm over having a sore tummy. Check everything.

Let's start again. And then apparently our age bowel cancer is like on the rise. So they're like, any excuse for us to get in there and check. Yeah. So that's time in tomorrow. when you know because then you can go great can we rule that out or is that the problem yeah so that is i haven't got my result yeah they told me that they won't do it over telehealth so that can't be good so we also learned last time that you got a nine on the what was the scale

called the boston rim the boston rim job scale what was it called the boston stool something it's on my desk i think so i'm just letting you know so nine is the highest year you can get. You can get nine out of nine. For amateurs. I'm letting you know that tomorrow will be a historic day in the history of assholes. Why? Because you're going to walk in there.

They go the biggest one we've seen. I'm going to show them. Because it's how clean is your ass. I'm going to roll in with a 10. You can't get a 10. And on my day. You know what? You'll be lucky if you get a six.

Take that back. No, I won't. Take that back. I've been on your side. No, I've been on your side. and you're going to get a six. You'll be lucky to get a six. I'm going to walk in here on Monday.

Did you leave with your piece of paper? Yeah. Fuck yeah, I did. I'm going to come in here on Monday and I'm going to show you my 10. I'm going to show you the photos from the 10. Yep. I'm sure it'll look like bejazzled. Do you know what's crazy is that when I showed you my photos,

you didn't see any of my shit because I got a nine. We're going to see your six and it's going to be filled with poo. I'm going to see your shit-filled bow because you're going to get a six. I feel like I'm having a conversation with my daughter. We're really into bums and poos at the moment. You're filled with poo. But she calls me Daddy Pooh-Poo and I go,

don't call me that and she laughs. Daddy-pooh, that's good stuff. Daddy poo-pooh, daddy-pooh, that is you. That's good. So that's what I'm coping at home at the moment. I, yeah, I can't imagine you'll get better. I'm going to walk in here with paperwork showing a 10. on the, what have we found the child?

Yeah, the Boston. Rim job scale. The Boston bow prep scale. The Boston bow prep scale. The old BBPS. Call me the mayor of Massachusetts because I'm coming in with a 10 on one day. But I have to do the prep rate. So I've had a very light breakfast before 7 a.m. this morning.

And that's, I don't eat for the rest of the day and I'm going in tomorrow. Surprisingly, not on a Saturday. Yeah, there's been a little bit of back and forth about. So here's the. thing. I reckon doctors. Oh, that's me. The hospital?

Yeah, the whole place. The anacetheicistist. Should get it the fuck together. And maybe have a little chat with each other and just decide on some stuff. Instead of going, oh, I'll tell him Saturday. You let him know Friday. and you tell him whatever the fuck you want because who fucking cares.

And you know what has been... They've never met each other. Here's three different portals. Oh, I've already logged in and done the portal. Yeah, that was the other guy's portal. Now, you're going to go to my portal as well, yeah. How many fucking portals does the one thing need? The cherry on top of all of this is that they're not arguing with each other.

They're arguing with you. I'm kind of like, why don't you three get together? You guys decide. Certain pool, maybe of all of us? Yep, fucking teams. Get on there. Gee meat. Three-way call on FaceTime.

Yeah, I don't actually give a fact. I don't mind. Whatever you want. And then you come to a conclusive answer. Yeah. Then you tell me. I'm happy to facilitate this. I just need some consistent fucking information.

Because I go, hey mate, sorry. It says on the form Friday, but I've been told Saturday. And they said, well, my form says Friday. And I go, yeah. So for three weeks, though, someone's told me Saturday. Yeah. And I've got these other portal saying, you on Saturday.

The portal. The portal really is the just gift that doesn't give a fucking thing. They ask you to fill in so many questions that I just cannot see the relevance to what I'm doing. Yeah. You're sticking a camera up my ass, do you need to know these things? Yeah. So. Do they ask you about a will?

Do you remember because they asked me if I had a will? Yeah. And then they said you'll have to print it. I said, don't worry about it. So I've got my will to. I got to preach it out at work. Is that alright? I'll give you some money for the paper.

Oh, that you, nah, just tell them you don't have one. I'll just write a will on one piece of paper just saying give it to bridge. All good. Yeah.

Honestly, don't even, don't add it to the guide dogs. Don't send it to them. So, like, heed my fucking warning. Because honestly,

the lady could not have been less impressed when I told her how to will. She goes, I have to ask every person no one to have a fucking for. This one lovely lady takes 10 minutes to explain that I can

only eat white stuff today. Amazing. White diet. White bread, eggs, tea, poach white. Egg white. Like poach chicken, bit of broth because we're trying to keep it nice and clean.

So when they get in there. Well, so the thing about the white diet is that it's low sediment. Sure. So it moves through your bowel faster. But if you have anything with a dye in it, that's yellow or red. It stays in your bowel and it blocks up like they can't see past it.

Well, there you go. So that's the reason for it. I had to do that for three days before mine. Three days? Yeah. Yes. So this is another new information. Because we're doing, yeah.

Yeah. So explains all the different stuff I can have. She goes, oh, a lot of people do this in the morning. This is a nice lunch. That's today. Yep. And then I speak to the other one and they go, you can't eat anything on Thursday. Nothing.

Nothing. The whole day. They said you can have breakfast before seven and that's it. And I said, well, the other person said I could do the white diet. And they said, yep, anything you eat has to be white, but you cannot eat. Was that maybe that on Wednesday? Anything yet is white? And I called back and I said, apparently I'm not supposed to eat today.

And she goes, no, you can't eat. And I said, but you explain the white diet. She goes, yeah. So no colored foods or any foods. What is she just on a fucking playback, Lou? And I was like, can we get. So not only can I not have any color foods, but I can't have any. Yeah, and it's actually really easy to explain no food because there's no follow-up questions.

Because you go, okay, I can't eat that's really shitty, but like, okay, I can drink water until a certain point. But chicken is white, which is great because you can't have anything. And rice, but obviously not. Because it's food. Yeah. Yeah, and so I'm going back and forth and doing all this. And then, fuck, someone else calls and they've got a different, they go, no, no, you can actually eat anything up until six. But I think that you've gone to cowboy world for your fucking colonoscopy.

Because when I went to my guide, they give me one, like, handout and printed on there is all the information. And I didn't need to ask anything. They were wonderful. I left with no information. And they just said, oh, someone will email you. And three people in the portal emailed three separate different things. Three separate portals. Yeah.

So then I go. And then I thought, you know what I need is this 28th opinion. So I'll go to the fucking chemist to get my prep. And yeah. Because did they tell you the type of prep? you need to take because there's a few different ones. Yeah, so I got Movi Prep. Oh, is that a good one?

I don't know. Oh. And because I did Pico Prep. Yeah. I did do three. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Oh, sorry. Sorry. So I have to do two tonight. Oh, that's good. Tonight I'm prepping. Yep. And then tomorrow morning I'm prepping. Yep.

And then tomorrow Arvo. Friday afternoon, still an interesting time. Nah, that's too casual. Yeah. They've already in the bathroom, I reckon. On a Friday afternoon. I sniff my butt. Um, so.

So, and each time I do the prep, I need to get like the A and the B of whatever it is. Hang on. And mix them together. Oh. Stir it in the water. Yep. And then drink it. So I do that tonight.

Sure. And then tomorrow morning, I supposedly have to get an A and a B mix them together and drink that. So is the A and the B, are they different things? I don't know either. So I rock up to the. chemist and go, hey, I've been told I need this thing. Which chemist? I'm actually not going to name them because they were fucking awful. Um, can I, you don't have to say which one, but was it a chemist warehouse? No. No, I could tell.

Kempest warehouse, they're wonderful. They are wonderful. They fuck. And they cook on information too. They do. They fuck with information. They really fucking do. You can ask them anything and they're like fucking on it. Because when I went there for my colonoscopy, like the Pico prep, I went to the same chemist warehouse that I always go to on the corner of thingo and thingo at the Woolworths. Yeah. At the Preston.

Thank you, Charles. That's great one. And every time I see the same woman there, she is fucking wonderful. She's a young blonde girl. And I go, yeah, I'm having a colonoscopy. She goes, okay, do you need the fucking movie prep? Movie prep or the preptico?

Or the pepicketto? The PepsiCo, whatever. And I need this one. She goes, do you need three sachets or do you need two? And I said, I need three. She goes, because I will not let you walk out of here. any more than you need. She's just great and she was just fully

across it. She goes, you sure you need three? I said yes bitch and she was like Slay and then she put it through. She's great. That's what I know and it was actually you know what? It's on me for not going to chemist warehouse. You should have gone to a chemist warehouse. They're not always open very late but they are good. No, my in Altham it is. But we've talked about this. They should always be open. Altham take care of it. Altham Chemis Warehouse will take care of it.

What time is it open? To 9pm. What time does it open? Oh in the morning? Yeah. Seven. Seven till nine's okay, but you need a bit later, I fear. Nah, that's pretty good. I've got a chemist wayhouse near me open until midnight. No, you don't. I do.

Unbelievable. I do. Fuck off. Which one is it? Which one is it? I'll have to look it up. It's like, I think, nah, you need to look it up now because I don't, I think you're lying. In North Kent?

They're not open past nine. I think you're lying. No, I've seen later. Greensboro Plaza will get you open later. No, that's not open till 12. Yeah. No, no, I won't fucking hear about it. Show me.

Show me. Because I haven't seen a chemist warehouse open until 12. I'd love for them all to be. The one in Badura is open till 10. 10's okay. I don't know why they're not rolling a 24-Huzza. That's what I'll say. Why aren't they doing?

Thank you, Danielle, Danielle nodding agreement. Oh, fuck me. Greensboro is only open till 9. Yeah, I know. I know. And Charles is scrambling like a, fucking little fried egg over there because... Here, Quebec? Here it is.

Found it. Show me. Oh, actually, the one... At 12. Drop down. Yeah, Sydney Road. I've been to that one. Drop down.

7.12. 7 a.m. till midnight. Fuck, that's good. Yeah. Told you. Do you know what, Charles? I've been to that chemist warehouse. Sydney Road.

Two entrances. There is two entrances. One out of the back? Send with the bullies one. Two entrances with the bullies? But you wouldn't go to the other interest. I always do the back one because you park in the bullies car. that's where I go to.

You wouldn't go to the other one. Unless you were coming from a bus stop. You know, that's wonderful. Seven till midnight. I've been to that. That is a good chemist warehouse. Anyway.

Should have gone there. You should have. So I rock up. The myriad of options are you asked. So I rock up. And you go right down the back. Well, I'm,

I'm slightly unsure because I know I'm walking into a place not really knowing what I'm asking for. Totally. So, and you kind of go, fuck, this is a bit awkward because I've got three different portals kind of telling me three different things. And I'm going to walk in here and go, I don't really know. I haven't done it. You know, when you get, you get in your regular and you go, yeah, mate, I'm all over it. Yeah.

I want this one. I like that one. So I'm walking in going, fuck, I don't even know what I'm asking for. And even though it's sweet and we are fine with poosier. Yeah. It is a little bit embarrassing as well. Oh, of course it is. I'm having a call on speed.

I need to buy the fucking laxatives. Yeah. I don't know what I need. Planning like shitting myself later. Yeah. Like, you know that I'm about to go home and take this and shit in a bucket. Yeah. There's no need for you to do that.

Is that? That's not what I did. Okay, great, because I hope not. But shit with urgency. Thank you. Yeah. So I go up and I said, and I'm getting colonoscopy, what do I need? And she goes, you tell me?

And I went, fuck. Okay. It's, I'm seeing the word movie prep. I'm assuming that's a brand name. And she goes, oh. Mm. I'll have a look. And then works out and goes,

did you mean movie prep? And I'm like, I believe that is what I said. But yes. So I know that I need some for tonight and some for tomorrow morning. You go, I got two doses. Got two doses and each dose I need A and B.

Sure. And so I go, I'm doing it twice. Do I need two packs? Or are the two doses in the box? Yeah. And then. She goes, well, it says on the pack A and B. So there's your two goes.

Oh, well, no. You've been told that there's an A, a B and an A and a B. Yeah, yeah. So there's an A and a B for one dose. That you're tipping in to one. Together. Yep. And then I have to do it again tomorrow.

Yeah. So do I need two packs? Do I need an A and a B and a C and a D? Yeah, or two A's and two Bs. Oh. And she goes, yeah, it should be all good because I I can take A tonight and take B tomorrow. Whoa, whoa, slow down horsey.

And then I show her. So I'm pulled out an old email on my phone. I go, it says mix A and B. Yep. And she goes, well, if you mix them both, then you're not going to be able to use the other one in the morning. Well, well, that's what you're asking. So should I buy two? And she goes, oh, so just like really give it a good go.

And I go, no, wait. No, because my doctor has humanly informed me that that's what I need to do. Look at this email. Someone has. Yeah, you know. My health team. And it's like I haven't, because when she goes, oh, you really want to give it a good one?

She goes, oh, you want to get a night. Yeah. Or it's just like I was ordering like a chocolate cake and I'm like, give me the extra large. Yeah. I'm feeling a bit special tonight. That's my birthday. It's my birthday.

Yeah. Yeah. Make it a double. Yeah. Straight yourself. The way she said it was if like, okay. She's like, none of you fuck around tonight.

Two dogs. Yeah. And then I go, yeah, yeah, no, but... I regret asking whether it was a chemist warehouse, because now this story I can tell it wasn't. So I go, I think I need an A and a B for tonight and an A and a B tomorrow. Tomorrow.

So can you let me know if in this pack I have everything I need, or do I need two packs? Yep. And then she leans forward over the desk and goes... And licks your nipple. Sorry. Sorry. Did she hear that?

It wasn't an AMCal. She goes. That's really funny. That's really funny. Man, it wasn't a price line. Australian guest gag. Like, why is that so funny? Oh, no.

That only happens at an AMCal. I wasn't a Terry White. She leans into the, like, her face is right here. Terry White would never. Terry White would never. Sorry, I've just hit me about. Imagine me. went to a Terry White and got anything.

Take that back. Terry's a good guy. Terry's made of my mom or Terry. Her face is here. Like her face has gone past my face. Like she's about to whisper into my ear. And she goes, because I'm like, is there enough in the box?

And you go, leans in and goes, I don't know. Be doing to open it together and find out. And she goes, but do you promise that you'll buy it? Because once we rip it open, we can't sell it to other people. Do you promise you're about? Well, no, it's not what I don't know.

Well, if you're deciding between one or two, then you're definitely going to get the first one either way, right? Because if I rip it open, what am I going to do? Put it back on the shelf? I mean, yeah, fair. I'm like, does it not say on the back? Yeah, does it say on there what's involved? Yeah, so I'm, so she said this to me and I was like,

and I went, okay, and she said, And she's, and then she goes, no, she didn't, she didn't say pinky promise, but she literally, she said, promise. Was she really new or something? I don't know if she existed or was really even there. You know what I mean? You were talking to another lady in the aisle and she just goes, promise me you'll buy her. Or maybe I had, she just another woman there. Maybe I had the prep four hours ago and I'm hallucinating.

You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, what the fuck? She goes, you promise. She's like, I'm not going to rip this box. You promise your boy, dear. No, not a bit. But she was just like, you promise because if I rip the box open and you don't buy it, like, then I've just got this ripped box of fucking. You don't want to be left with a ripped box in the back of an amp gal.

And I've always said that. So I went. Yeah, okay. But then I, I sort of had this moment where I'm like, I couldn't believe that I'd been sucked into. to her world because I looked at her and I went, I promise. No. Like I didn't say yes. I went, I promise.

Okay, pause. Was there any point where you considered leaving and going to a different chemist where maybe they had some more insight? Well, I was with Mabel. Yeah, okay. It's been a bit unwell. So I was like doing like the daycare run and stuff. So I was kind of on the clock a bit.

So you're like, I just need to get this. Like if it was Ryan, just cruising home. Oh, I'll go to the next. I was thinking, you go, oh, I might just, I might call my doctor and then you go, I'll, like, I'll figure it out. Yeah, but I was sort of like on the way and, oh, yeah. Sure. So, um, so I, I promised her.

So you promised, yeah. And then she, so she, and it was like we were two kids robbing a candy store because we were like, kind of, you know, like, hiding down the back on. Is there an A to B? And she opens it. And there's two packs within it. Yep. And each pack has an A and a B in it.

which means I've got an A and a B for tonight in one pack and an A and a B for tomorrow in the other pack In the one box. In the one box. Amazing. And then I went, oh, how about? And I was like, great. And then she goes,

I've got an idea. Well, you buy it? Well, you're already promised. And I go, and I've sort of, I'm relieved now because I've seen what I've seen with my own eyes and gone. And you go, oh, that's making sense. now. I've got what I need.

I think I'm all good. But now I'm intrigued to hear this idea though. You know? And she goes... She goes, let's run away together. How about you and I knock up a couple of A's and B and we just have a great night together? Yeah, how about you put that B in my A?

And we'll mix it up. Do you want to see my clean asshole? I've had an A and a B already. Well, you're about to see a 10, sweetheart. She goes, I've got an idea. And I go, okay, what do you, what do you reckon? It just sounds far too whimsical for colonoscopy prayer. In a chemist.

Like it's sounding like just. And so. Like a made up story. Like it's so funny. So she. Maybe I'll go back and ask for CCTV footage because I need to see my face. Your reaction. After she pitched this wonderful idea.

What's the idea? she looks and she goes, I think I've got an idea. See how this pack's got an A and a B? Why don't you mix those two and have that tonight? And then tomorrow get the other pack that's in the box because that's also got an A there. And you can mix that and you can have that tomorrow for the second one. Well, you wouldn't, would you?

Wonderful idea. Melanie, thank you. How did you know who is Melanie? Does I say that? No. Did I say that? No, I just. stood a fake name. What's the name? Do you remember when we were away and I said Melanie and you said it's a lot of melon?

Like it was Melanie. Watermelon, what? Yeah, but it was like, Melanie. But I said Melanie and you said it's a lot of melon and I said it's Melanie. Sorry, anyway. You know Mel, a shot for water melon. That's a bit Melanie.

Oh, that's your for Melanie? What's her name actually, Melanie? No, it's short for water melon. What my heart called, Mel. It's short for honeydew melon. That's short for melatonin. It's short for Melbourne Airport. Yeah, my name's Marie.

It's short for Tallamari. You must be cousins my friend Calamaree. Calamare. And I looked at an... My name's Lizard, short for lizard. Oh, are you in Elizabeth? No, I'm a lizard. Is that sure for Elizabeth?

No, it's a lizard, but. And so the looker, I was so shocked at her idea that she'd come up with on her own, by the way. You got to give her that. You have to give her credit for that. Good on you, Melanie. And I was so in it, hence me saying, I promise that I looked at her and not in a dick way, just went, that's a great idea. I think that's what I'll do. That's a great idea.

Yes. Yep, that'll be perfect. She goes here and she goes And I went Great idea And then took to the ripped box To the I know this is the killer Because you know how you go down the back

And they're the experts Yeah And you got to go back to just to the register Yeah So then I get to the front And then you get yourself A couple of fucking glucose gel jellybee So I get to the front

And the other girl goes This one's ripped Did you want me to get another one? And I was like I couldn't do that to Malitone Can you imagine I couldn't do that She goes back down to Melbourne airport

Yeah The person not the place And She goes, oh, sorry, the guys just complained. The guys just complained that this box is open. And she goes, you promised. You promised. Now, she wouldn't scrape to that.

She goes, you promise. He promised. And then they go, oh, Melanie, have you been, she goes, who? Sorry, melanoma. Sorry. Melanoma, have you been making promises again? And she goes, yeah.

You been telling him your ideas again, yeah. Sorry, malignant tumor. Have you been lying to the customers? Sorry, John Cougar Melanchette. Sorry, melted cheese. Why did you sell this empty box to this man? Sorry, Malcolm Turnbull. Didn't know the ex-prime minister of Australia

worked at the local chemist here? He doesn't. It's just the same name. Oh. Yeah, and that's allowed. You can say that. Fuck, that's really, that's really so anyway. So tonight you've got to do an A and a B.

And in the morning, you've got to do an A and a B. So is that Melanie? No, it's melted cheese. I already did melted cheese. Oh, really? That's a great one. I did melted cheese, yeah. I feel like melted cheese.

Well, you can't eat anything. I feel like, is it what? Because you still can't have it. So anyway, who the fuck knows if I'm getting a colonoscopy tomorrow? Who the fuck knows how much are going to be shitting myself tonight or tomorrow? But there is one thing we all know for sure. That you're going to be a six. Then I'm going to roll in here on Monday.

A 10. I mean, you'll still be a 10 to look at, but I don't think you'll have a Boston rooming scale 10. What is a number that is low enough that you would question working with me? Like, considering we sit here like a minute, like if there was a number and you just went, you know what, dude? It's on the inside. Do you know what I mean?

It's what's on the inside that counts. But like, I don't have to say it. You can be full of shit. Okay. So there's no number. not low enough. No, I think so. Do you, was there one for me?

Do you have one for me? I didn't know there was a scale existed when you came back. No, me either. This is a new territory for me. No, that's why. If I came in on... I need you to know that I didn't have prior knowledge of the Poulton. If I come in on Monday and I go, I got a two and you just go,

and maybe not an instant like... You know what? Now that you phrased it like that, that if you came in and went, I did a two, I'd be like, oh, I probably would do that. Or like... Maybe a four. Even like an... I think anything lower than a four lower,

inclusive before. No. Because I reckon, even if it's not an instant, like, get out, it would, like,

the rot would start. Because I go, well, if you can't, shit, what can you do? But, like,

you get home and you go, this guy's three. Yeah, and we share stuff and, you know, sleep together, yeah.

Like in, like a hotel situation. And then, like, yeah, we're on planes and I'm just, there's just this. Like, is it caked inside of you?

Yeah, like, there's just just two, sitting there. Literally. A number two inside this too. And I don't know. Life's short, you know, and I don't know if I want to be hanging.

I might need to take some time off. Yeah, like 50 years. Reithing. So, yeah, wish me luck for the weekend, everyone. Yeah, we will be thinking of you and your asshole. Thank you. It's a, yeah, I think the thought of it is worse than when you're actually, when you're in there and it's over.

you're like, oh, thank God, like the relief. Now, God, do you love to see here to pick us up? Amazing. Sophie Kelly Gibson. I also say some names for us. She has five-month-old twins. Whoa. Two little girls, so cute.

That's so cute. That's so cute. Yeah. Wanted to get them a fabric dolly each that represented them. But one of her daughters has a birthmark, like just under her eye. Yep. Real tricky little one. Have you seen her, have a look at the baby here.

see yeah oh yeah no I haven't seen I haven't seen Sophie's baby and next to her twin um like you know it's it's quite visible but she wanted to get some I think that would be great because you can tell them apart actually though you know like that would be really handy my cousin he got like one of his twins like got a haircut and then the other two was like oh can I have the same and it's like no no yeah because they're so yeah um so they wanted to get some dolls that like represented each of them I love that. And they couldn't quite find one, but then they mentioned it to a family member. And then a week later, and have a look at this picture, the family member has made these specific little dolls.

So she feels like, oh, that's what I look like. I feel seen. And I just thought the fact that, A, someone had taken the time to go and make these little dolls and then be the fact that that baby goes, oh, that's my one because we're the same, you know. And I just thought that was really beautiful. as you're growing up that you're like, no, like, I, fuck, sorry, these babies are so cute. I know, right, aren't they adorable? Oh my God, they are so cute. It makes me miss having a baby.

I just like a little baba. A little baba. Yeah. They are, they are so freaking cute. Now I've got a toddler. Nah, and the dollies are very beautiful as well. That's so sweet. But thank you so much for sharing that, Sophie.

And look at her smiling with her doll in her hands. Yeah, it's like so fucking cute. And her eyes are really smiling too. Like, you know when a baby like it smiles at its whole face? So cute. I love to see that. Betsy and Meredith are their twins' name. That is so cute.

I've got a lot of you love to see here from Marika. Marika. No, I heard America. And I was like, did I say America or Marika? Marika, I just wanted to give you an update because six months after breaking my elbow on frozen water when I attempted ice skating. Oh, well, that's on you at Marika. How are they having fun? Ice skating.

Fuck. But six months after breaking my elbow, I was able to enjoy a dip in liquid water swimming. I can officially say I am once again wet for life. At the recommendation of my PT, I tried getting in for a swim. I can do a lap or two before my elbow gives out. But it's a really good start. So I'll be incorporating swimming into my training and workouts, starting with a few laps once, week and then working my way up.

Hashtag Wet for Life. It is a great way to stay like mobile with a broken limb. Like with a healing limb. Yeah. With my foot as well. Oh, it was so good to be able to like feel a bit weightless and be able to move my foot around. First time I had shoulder reconstruction.

That's right. That's right. That's why I started swimming, swimming and like really good for you. And yeah, you just. Because there's so much support and you just feel so much. But you just, you do a couple laps and the next time you do three and you just build it up and it's a slow, but it's nice and it's a good excuse to head down there and get wet. Yeah.

Yeah. And good for your mental health as well. I feel like going for a swim. Like, you really wash your day away. I might go. No, I won't. I'm shitting myself. I was going to go for a swim tonight.

No. No. Maybe I'll take the prep, then start swimming. But is. Charles just vomited. Yeah, he did. Yeah. All right.

Well, good luck tomorrow. We'll be thinking of you and your asshole. Thank you. And I normally am, but extra. And place you bet. everyone because of the Boston Bough Preparations the Boston room job scale Boston Bough preparation scale Tony got a nine which is out of nine is the best you can get I'll be rolling in actually place your bets put them in the comments yeah put them in the

episode thread and then you reckon Charles and then we can refer back on Monday and see who was closest I think Ryan's gonna get an eight and eight yeah I reckon it's gonna be I reckon a six. I reckon a six. Someone who gets it right, I'll randomly select someone that gets it right. What's tough at the moment? I'll send you to fill your car up with petrol.

Nice. That's a great gift. So a prize of $10 million. Yeah, you sent you $30,000. Yep. But no, yeah, so put your bets in. Okay. I'll fill your car up if you guess how clean my asshole is.

Where was that in the radio? Yeah, no, so Drew. Love you. Have a good weekend, bye.