Toni and Ryan - Have Pet Owners FINALLY Gone Too Far?

Episode Date: December 14, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] Dr Toni Lodge - Pet Sitting Stories - HOT TAKE TONI - love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcasthttps://nordvpn.com/toniandryan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As a society, we need to decide whether we are going ass first or pussy first. Because, you know when you have to decide whether you're going to pussy first or ass first. Oh. What? What were you thinking? Hi, I'm Rachel from Adelaide, Australia. Julie from Bramford, Ontario, Canada. Hi, I'm Bushram Dani and I approve this podcast.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Dr. Author, bestselling author, Tony Lodge. It's our final Monday of the year. Final Monday of the year before we go off on our Christmas break, a hard-earned Christmas break. But before we... And for all your tapas as well. Yeah, you guys deserve to not fucking hear us cocking on. We are both wearing Christmas sweaters.

We are. As discussed last week, it is the middle of summer in Australia and we're about to sweat our fucking tits off all week. But before we get into the Holy Spirit, Tony needs to talk about... Hey, this is kind of related to the Holy Spirit. Tony has an update on vaginal walls. Okay, so last week I talked about putting your thumb against your rear vaginal wall if you were trying to get a shit out. for those vagina hatters have us. I got this message from Liz on

Instagram. It's not my mom for you ask. Liz says, oh, maybe I should have made Liz Anonymous. It rhymes with Shmiz. Oh, I'm not going to say her name, but it's the same as my mom's. I'm so sorry to DM but had to. That's why we think I should have left her anonymous.

I saw the video you posted about the thumb in the vagina poop hack. I have severe endometriosis, which is fucked, and literally only shit once a week at most. Oh my God. Like, just pull the trigger. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I would so prefer that. Pooing 18 times a day. Or would you?

I'd think you would just feel so heavy in the time. Like when you feel constipated, well, I don't know if you ever had. So sometimes... Not relatable content. Sometimes the poo's hard to. come out. What? And it's like you can, it's like, that's what you need to move.

Do you not? Yes. But the feeling of it is like, imagine having 10 days worth of dinner in your tummy. Oh. You know what I? Like it's really. Maybe I like being regular. Yeah.

Well, you're a bit more than regular, I'd say. Really regular. I think I have a perfect shit schedule. Give it to me. Um, so every. Don't give it to me. Every morning I wake up and I do a wee and then I start making my coffee and then I do my morning shit and that's my shit for the day. Isn't, I think what I like about that is the consistency in the routine.

Yeah, every day I know that that's what it's going to be. And like, if I don't shit in the morning, say I'm in a rush and I just like get up and leave the house or whatever, then like my body won't allow me to need to shit until I, it knows I have time. Like, it's really respectful. That's really nice. Yeah. That's consent in the new age. It actually really is. And then if I, if I get to work and I'm like, oh, I haven't shit yet.

But if I just don't think about, like, obviously, if I've got a sore time and I'm diarrheaing, then that's different. But, like, yeah, regularly, every morning before 8.30. The dream. Yeah. Like, within 15, 20 minutes of me waking up, I've done my one shit. And it's always like the perfect texture. Like, I'm just like, I'm really. lucky the luckiest girl in the world i do also drink a lot of water though i feel like that's

important okay maybe that can be a part of my 2020 tweaks is to drink water what i mean if you're eating all those tricks as i would say you probably do need to drink yeah um okay sorry only shit once a week at best sorry for bragging about my perfect shit schedule is uh i it had been it's been 10 days since i shit i mean so much pain i was scrolling and your video came up and I tried it. I just shit better than I have in years. I have complained to dozens of doctors about this. Yeah.

And your real is literally the only advice I've ever been given that actually worked. You have changed my life. I love you. Should we just call it a year now? Is that it? Yeah. That is huge news. Thanks, Liz.

We have joked about you. being a doctor, but I think this proves it once and for all. Okay. This puts it to bed. I think you need to update your Instagram bio, or like your name. This is similar to what I replied to Liz. Oh my God, Liz, this is the most amazing thing I've ever read. Not only am I happy that you've shit normally, but also finally proved I am truly a doctor.

That's amazing news. Good on you, Liz. That's my annual you love to see it. Daily. And you know what? Every time I shit, I'm going to think a Liz. Same. And I hope that, Liz, when you shoot you think of me, babe.

Yeah, and Liz, that means I'm going to be thinking about you many times a day. Ryan's going to be thinking about you more than he thinks about literally anything else. I'm here to, I'm here for Liz. Yeah. Thanks for sharing that. With the holiday season coming up, a lot of people are going away. You're off to Bali. Yeah.

And your French bulldog Pippa is off with Jeanette. No, that's the vacuum cleaner. That's Janine. Janine. No, Pippa goes to her holiday place. What's the girl's name? Not going to say. Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah. But that, she's a good bitch though, eh? Yeah. She's a legend. She's in our will. Did you know that Pippa's dog sitter is in Tony's will and I'm not? This is the same as when we were potentially going to win a TikTok award and you planned a speech and didn't care to mention me once. Okay, okay.

The plan, let's just get everyone up to speed was 15 seconds. We're going to mention the dog sitter on the TV? TikTok Awards? You know what's fucking well off since she's getting 20% I think it's a bit more than that. It's a bit more than that. What the fuck? Yeah, I think it's about half.

Do you be a bad day to be a fresh salmon and because you got 25% of Tony's estate coming for your fresh salmon to feed pipper. Fuck now. The point I'm getting at is that a lot of people going away and leave their pets with pet sitters. A lot of tarpers. this is their time to clean up.

And I've never really thought about this before. But you get to go and live in a cool house with a cool dog and get paid. Fuck, yeah. Have you ever had a house sitter, like, or pet sitter in your house? Because I don't know if it's for me. Oh, are we, Casey would let herself in, get Braun, and offered to stay a few nights and bits and pieces. So we haven't, but she's sort of like borderline. like she would.

Yep. Is that the nurse? Yeah. Yeah. She's nice. Yeah. Never met her. But yeah.

No, she's good. Because I've got a pet sitter and house sitter coming to my place for the first time ever next year. And are you telling me that they expect it paid? Are you talking about Uncle Charles? I'm talking about Chi Chi coming over. They often do get paid. Okay.

Interesting. That is interesting. That's what I thought as well. Will you take your regular work day rate? I don't think that works I don't think I included in this one but when I was going through all the comments of like pet sitter requests

one Tapa they would live in the house but they would go over three days prior to the parents going away so imagine Chi Chi moving in with you three days before you left so like the dog wasn't just all of a sudden shocked it was like to ease Charles into the family

yeah and ease PIPA as well into being like chee-chees here. Yeah, but it's like for three whole days you're just living with this random family. I was thinking seven. I was thinking start now. I was thinking moving right now and we'll see how we go in January.

Across a week, seven days. Yep. Is Charles at your house at some stage during the day, more days than he's not? Probably not more days than he's not. Just to pop in. But at least one sort of. twice a week.

Pick something up, drop something off, throw one in, you know? Is it though? I don't even think it's that much. Or is it? Do we go through phases

where it is a lot? There's phases where I reckon you go every day. But then also, I feel like even if you're not at my house, we are doing things outside of work. A lot. Well, I think that's what I was,

never been to my house. I've never been fucking invited. Oh, you have when you brought the barbecue over. Oh. Which hasn't happened now. Oh. I think that was a c-a-a-a-a-a-stiff one.

I'd love to... Oh, well, he's given me one of those. Molly! I'd love to hear about, thank you. Now, these are... Hey, Molly! These are the notes that have been left for the tarfas to pet sit. By the owner.

By the owner. Yeah, okay. I might get some ideas here. Actually, this is a sorry, Charles. It's probably a terrible time to say this. Our beautiful cat pumpkin spice latte. Oh, PSL. Only drinks Fiji water.

There is a full case in the pantry But the Fiji water is only for her But the Fiji water, that's for pumpkin Yeah, spice latte Full Christian, no. Well, no, she, pumpkin for short. Please don't let pumpkin drink tap water. She probably won't drink it anyway

She doesn't like the taste. But I think that's pretty fair. There's a whole pantry of Fiji water But it's not for you. There's a fucking perfectly good tap water. Molly, you can drink from the hogs outside. You can dunk your head in the hot tub. Just suck it up.

Be mindful of the chlorine. Michaela Christensen. Hi, Michaela. This is what the note she was left. Hi, Merry Christmas. I'm going to say Merry Christmas to every single person we talk to. It's like, Merry Christmas, Molly. I'm going to have a shot of Christmas themed Baileys every time Tony wishes someone.

Happy Christmas. It's off. Oh, I was planning on getting hammered. Our dog won't sleep unless you tuck her into her bed and read her a book. There are three or four books by the doggie bed. Just start reading one. And if she prefers another that night, she'll let you know. Doggy books.

Oh, my God. Oh, it's just her books, but they're by the doggy bed. So you just pick one up and go, blah, blah, blah. And the dog, okay. Oh, sorry, next one. Next one, yeah. Charles. Can you read?

Nah. Do you know what I'm going to say? He can read. Are you going to sleep in our bed? I haven't thought about this at all. It's not like you've got a spare room set up with a number. There's one bed in your house. Yeah, like, are you happy to sleep in our?

Like, I can change the sheets and stuff. Oh, he'll have to change the sheets before he leaves. Oh. I don't think you can jerk off in my house. I, what about others? No, you can jerk off in my house, but not in my bed. Can he bring girls home? I stayed at a friend's house that I barely knew once and brought a girl home to his

family home and he was so pissed and so were his parents. And then later I was like, probably fair. Shout out to Ed, no, Sydney. I'd probably prefer you didn't. Will you be checking the ring cameras? Yes. That's bullshit. If you want him to take care of your house, you need to respect that.

Okay, well, you asked him. Your internet may go off. Charles said to have a whole new network while he's there. Or he just films the thing and loops it. You know, yeah, yes. Yeah,

you can sleep in our bed, obviously. Obviously, you weren't sure 13 seconds ago. Yeah. But because like Pippa's bed's in our bed, so she will like that. Are you going to sleep on my side or Taubs's the side?

What side's your side? Who's closest to the door? Torbs. For safety reasons. Yeah, that's a. I want him to get medded first. Yeah.

And that's how it should be. Yeah. It's funny that Charles had to ask what side of you because you usually are just the side that's under him. I'm normally just in the middle. Yeah. What side? Like the downside.

What side? The edge. Sorry. No, that was too much. Nadine. Hi, Nadine. Not Merry Christmas. If the old cat carcs it during our holiday,

please don't put it in the freezer. We hate when pet sitters do that. Why do you have an informed opinion of that? How many times does that happen? If that happens one more time, I swear to God. Oh my God, okay. Now, the next one, I'm going to have to figure out the name. It makes me want to say Bitcoin Maltese, but I know that's not right.

Bishon. I'm not looking at it, but is it Bisham? Yeah. That makes more, but I just, the shape of the word makes me want to say Bitcoin. Is it B-Chom? B-I-C-H-O-N? Yeah. Yeah, nice.

Good from me. I'm not even looking at it. Couldn't we call her a Bitcoin Maltese? We can. Bitcoin Maltese. Because I don't want us to get distracted. So I just want to lock that in early. Should we get some Maltes?

Um, Tarpa Maddie. Hi, Maddie. This is the note that was left for her. If an elderly Bitcoin Maltese were to die while we're away, please wrap her up in a plastic bag and put her in the freezer until I get back Oh, people really know what they want

Dying dog mums need to get their fucking story straight Are we freezing them or not? I didn't realize that I needed to consider what Chi Chi should do if Pippa dies while he's pet sitting her Oh, she just had surgery, she is fragile and vulnerable Don't say, don't say Taylor back

Taylor back She hasn't just had surgery and she isn't vulnerable at all She's not going to die No, but she's just vulnerable She's just a beautiful little peach. She needs love. Yes, Charles. Question.

So, like, you had your pet sitter in your will. Now that I'm going to be a pet sitter, do we split it or? That's fair. Because if God forbid, if something would happen to you and Torbs, would Charles be take over and take 25%? You are already there. That's so true. He can have the house and then people can stay in where she wants to live. Which feels more safe for her.

Yeah. Do you mind paying it off before that time? Like a deposit? Paying the house off, you mean, so that you could just own it? If I could do that, I would own it. Hey, Charles, I reckon the other 75% don't get you there. Hashtag the same. Kate Claire.

Hi, Kate. Not Merry Christmas. This is fucked. That's a great, great. that suck you've got on. Thank you. It's matching my... No, I know, I know, but it's a good grain.

Thank you. The green says, you're welcome. Yeah. I'm just going to read this. Okay. Let's not put any onus on the messenger. Like, you know? The messenger can barely read.

Our chunky Labrador needs to be gently sweet-talked into eating her food. She needs constant verbal affirmations whilst eating to keep going. they've left some examples here and it needs to be like calm and sweet yep good girl keep going

you don't seem calm and sweet at all that's it almost there eat it all up you good girl I feel like I'm listening to a 50 Shades of Grey audiobook

if you stop encouraging she'll stop and you've got to keep pumping her up I think this is a sweet story and you've made it weird. How would you read that? Oh, yeah. Keep going, girl.

Oh. No, it needs to be sweet, calm affirmations. Almost there. Oh, good girl. Oh, good girl. That's doggie voice. Oh, my doggy voice is on someone like that. No, sorry.

No, it's fucking Christmas. Give me your doggy voice. No, no, redacted. It's weird. Weird hearing your doggy voice not like through the pillow. You know, like muffled through the linen. Yeah, so Tony's put her face in her Christmas sweater. That'll sound closer.

Go say it now. I've never spoken in my life. Put your face in your sweater, bite the sweater, and then say those lines. Coupong! Okay, next. This is from Aubrey Bragg. Hi, Aubrey. I think the pet's name is snort.

That can put you off a bit. So I just accept that up front. Sometimes snort's penis gets stuck on the outside. If this happens, just put some peanut butter on it. He'll lick it off and it goes back in. I don't know how much Aubrey's getting paid to be a pet sitter. It's not enough. But it's not enough to smother the dog's dick in.

peanut butter and then watch him I don't like that I think that if your dog needs particular care like that you can't ask somebody else to do it you take that dog with you yeah or you stay home wait until he dies and then you can go to Bali for Christmas do you know what I mean like Bali can wait until that dog is dead do Christmas at home until you and do you sure Because that's a lot to ask for someone. Yeah. That's too much, I feel.

Don't worry. Now, this is a genuine question because it could go either way. I don't know if I can take any more of these. No, no, no. This is actually what I'm getting at. Okay. When I asked the question about dog sitting notes, there were over 400 comments. Do we go back to the well in the new year or do we just leave this in 2020 thrive where it probably didn't belong in the first place?

I think we should come back. Yeah. Because surely we've already just heard the worst one. No, you haven't let me go to the folder. Because I've just heard that. No, I can tell you Luke's got one about an iguana and that is the worst one you've ever heard. Piguana. Well, remember you said that exact word when we do this in January.

See you next year. Hi, I'm Rachel from a. Adelaide, Australia. I'm Julie from Bramford, Ontario, Canada. Hi, I'm Bush Sharmadani. And you're listening to Tony Ryan. Secret Santa and some gingerbread

holiday crafts and shit like that a bit of fun A few people that'll be hopefully joining us for that Nikita W good on you Nikita

I hardly know Louise Blondden Bring me my Nikita back man A little joke for Australian hardware fans Trish Good on you Trish

Kaila Oh I forgot to sing them Oh yeah On the fifth day of Christmas My true love gave to me Nikita W bring back Mama Keeter Louise Blund and Trish M. Kayla Kurtz on Megan Bring

Amy Chamberl and Ashkarim Alison we are Courtney Morales Charlie Amber Tracy small And a partridge in a petri Stunning Thank you very much Printed out and give it to strangers

Cold Coast So I've got red Christmas hat on for my hot tag and Charles is just bringing over my stick thank you sir yep

very nice very nice with the hat on it looks very Christmassy yeah it's fun isn't it and I gotta get ready to be scorched oh thank you so much so this year we started

every Monday I would share a hot take this is our last one for the year is it going to be back next year, who knows? I think so. I know. Yes. I bet it's just going to scorch the end of the year.

He's going to scorch us into 2020 tweaks. Maybe this is less of a scorcher and more of a thinker. Okay. Which I think is good, you know. You've been thinked. You've been thinked. Oh. Maybe.

No? Okay. We'll soon find out. I have something to declare. And it's that as a society, we need to decide whether we are going ass first or pussy first. You've been thinked because you know when you're in a tight situation and you have to decide whether you're going to walk past a stranger,

pussy first or ass first. Oh. What? What were you thinking? What were you thinking? Oh. Like whether we were going to do anal first. To be fair, and no hate, but usually it'd start not the anal one.

I would also end, not the anal one. One of the great scenes I've ever seen. And I do think it may have been a parody and not the real movie of Batman 3, the one with Bain. Oh, yep. You know they changed the voice for him like five times. Really? Yeah.

Because every time they released it, they, um, like, no one could understand. Yeah. Like, send it back, go again. And this is what they end up with. I believe it's possible. Is that what he sounds like? I haven't seen it. So anyway, it turns out, um, he was, Batman is betrayed.

And he's like. Spoilers. This is Hal spoilers. And he like slept with the girl who ended up being the enemy. Catwoman. No. Poison Ivy. No.

The girl who's in. Alicia Silverstone. The girl who was in. Ann Hathaway. No, that's Catwoman. She's that Baines off-sider. Anyway. Girl who was in inception?

Yeah. Like DiCaprio's wife is in. Oh. Yeah. Anyway. Yep So then It is

Marien Cotillard Mal Marion Cotillard Yeah so she's in Batman 3 Oh Anyway so he goes But he's like

But we slept together You know I can't believe this That's Bain Tangna No Batman He's like I thought you were with me But you So don't you mean

I thought you Yeah And then You fucked Bain And then he goes Yeah And we like We hooked up

And like In an order That would surprise you And Bain's like what do you mean I think this might be parity Charles can you look up Batman in an order that might surprise you

I read it thread comes up and it's like watch the fifth one first that's the order that might surprise yeah this one this is so good I broke you however you come back you think you're the only one who can learn the strength to escape

I did not escape The child of Radha Kuhl made to climb. But he is not the child. Is that Peyton Hans? I am. What? Marita. Talia, Al-Gul, here to finish my father's work.

But we totally had sex. Yes, I know. My father only saw a monster who could not be tamed. saved my monster. Okay, just shut up, okay? With your mouth. Stop! And two other places.

Okay. In an order that would surprise you. Enough. Okay, um, well, my hot take is that I can't believe that you thought that was the real Batman movie. That is crazy. Okay. So, no, the, the ass or pussy first that I'm referring to.

Oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah. Is, uh, it's not in a sexual way. but you know when you have to squeeze past people you have to make an insane decision and it's whether you put your pussy in their face or your ass I think you have to go ass first

okay because I've made a bad decision recently I was in quite a busy restaurant and I know we were just talking about how Charles and I hang out outside of work it was with Charles and we were sitting next to these people and the tables were really close

together and I was like well do I want my pussy on the strangers or my pussy on Charles oh so it's between so because it was between the two of them so both sides are going to touch someone but do you want the stranger to be the ass or the push and because also when you're walking past if they're sitting down you like look down at like yeah yeah there's like a power dynamic that's introduced a crazy thought He's like waking up on a Sunday and being like, I did not know I was going to give ass to a stranger last night. And there's something about that that just keeps life interesting.

It is, yeah. So I reckon in that scenario, give Charles the puss. So give your friend the puss. Yeah. And give your enemies the ass. Yeah. Because I think that both are as awkward as each other. But I think we have to decide.

Because every time I go, well, fuck, do you want my fan? on my fart up. Well, I think, so. Sorry. But you know? Charles, when you saw Tony Stan, did you kind of go, yeah, did you think about it? Yeah, like she's going to have to.

She's going to have to make it call here. No, but did you think about it in the moment? Or have you ever thought it? Say if you're at the cinema or a sports game or something, you know how my other hot tape the other week was that you can't get up more than two times, I'm allowed to say no. But when you're kind of scooching past. people you've got to decide whether you're looking down at them or if you're going

puss or pus or i think in a sport game like in a stadium where the seats there you'll do ask them because then you're still like watching what's happening on like the field yeah that's a great call yeah and a good excuse to put the ass in what about a restaurant though where there's nothing to look at i don't think it matters no but i think that we just have to decide so charles one thing i learned a thousand episodes ago is that to fill out four Eps a week. Yeah. I found out pretty quick that if I said to Tony,

just don't worry about it. Like, then where do you go? You know? Well, if you want me to do... Then what are you going to do for a thousand Eps? If you want me to do a hot take,

I think I need some buying from you guys. Do you know what I mean? I bought in. No, but I, like... And I'm trying to get Charles bought in. He wants to live in your house and you want to even buy into a fucking ass story. But you know what I mean?

Like, you're right. Thank you. It's not about me just bringing up crazy. It's like, well, we're fucking... We're at work. Yeah. You know? I just whatever you think.

Yeah. Oh, probably doesn't matter. Normal or no. You're right. It doesn't really matter. Yeah. Okay.

Let's just call it a day. See you next year. Maybe not. Yeah. Because who cares? Who really cares? See you in 2027. Also, thanks for making me feel really great about bringing

fucking content into this show. That's awesome. Hey. I've got something to say. Is it fucking sorry? On behalf of Charles. Yes. Um,

I've got. some feedback on your fringe because I feel like you need a pump up because last week it was it the first fringe in like four months is that a fair to say four months I reckon longer yeah there's a YouTube account called military talk which is not the first account I would have guessed to be the first comment about Tony's hair okay interesting in America we call it bangs and it actually took me and it seems like a lot of other Americans to realize what you actually talking about oh because we were saying fringe yeah oh uh to the point where drew on youtube said true when you said the fringe is back because i don't like associate that with

hair i thought you said the fridges back and i was like oh my god she can't get rid of this thing i'm not and like imagine but you know what doesn't really matter does it sorry so now you're doing it now i'm doing it uh i'm lashing out But he's like, I heard, let's like think back to the whole story. Yeah. Oh, I haven't felt like myself. So the fridge has been gone. Haven't had it for a few months.

Yeah. So I went out, but I'm feeling good to the fridge is back now. And I talked to my hairdresser about it. Yeah, a bit of an odd one to bring up. Yeah, but, you know, we've got to talk about something. Michael said, I woke up the other day thinking, oh, I hope Tony back brings back the fringe. And it was almost like coincidence chatter.

A few days later she did. I love that Michael's waking up and going, you know what, that fringe should, that fridge should come back. Yeah, a lot of comments about it. But finally, Dean, and this is, you love to see it within, you love to see it. Okay.

Everyone here embracing Tony's hair, I love it. This is what fringe festivals should all be about. Should I do a show at the fringe festival and I just stand up there and go, you're welcome? At the Edinburgh Fringe. Ladies and gentlemen, here it is. Yeah, it's flown from Australia.

Four stars. and the sun herald but thanks everyone for those messages it was very fun to read thanks to sharing that as you love to say that's beautiful

my love to see it is from Rees he shared this on Patreon we've been talking backwards and forwards for a while about this thing no this is race so when I talk about

my old dog Zach and you always say Reese it's got race vibes the dog blue the dog it's got blue vibes and it's just race

race and Zach my old golden brown Staffy has blue vibes. Yeah, and you know this, and I'm not going to go into it again, that the name has blue vibes. Rees says, I just wanted to thank you and Ryan

for being the soundtrack for my education thus far. I discovered the pod when I was in year nine. Crazy. If I find out this, 30. And I've been listening ever since earlier this year. I was Ryan's you love to see it for getting into uni early. Hold on.

And I wanted to share that I've officially completed my first year of uni, and I'm absolutely loving it. Thanks for being. the team that drives me to uni and back every day. You're welcome. I remember, like, my first year of uni, like how good at the end of first year just being like,

what a world. Like, because you're learning so, it feels so different to school. Yeah. And you're like, have so much independence all of a sudden. You're, like, allowed to do stuff. Independent woman. Being independent,

she's a woman. I walk by learning about the audio independent. That's beautiful. Oh, like that. Is that what you're listening to on the way home? No, it wasn't. I actually remember that in my first year of uni, I was listening to a lot of hilltop hoods.

Oh, was your first year of uni at the last 15 years? Yeah. Because same. Because why wouldn't you? The other night I went for a walk with Bronn and listened to the hilltop hoods re-strung live in concert for a whole hour straight. Yeah, you've got to. Yeah.

And don't you just cry every time you're listening to stop in all stations? Yeah. Oh. that kills me I actually can't listen to it it makes me cry yeah it's really good anyway

feel like this episode's taken a bit of a turn would love for you would love for you in the comments to let me know if you think either ask first fanny first or who fucking cares hey

no I think that's good because maybe it just doesn't matter no because what if it doesn't maybe it just doesn't you know like don't even ask because maybe it doesn't I would love to see people say ass first or pussy first in the comments

and no other context So people who haven't read yet are like Okay, you know what I mean Sorry, I've just remembered we watched that Batman skit Has that made it in? If you haven't listened to us watch a Batman scene You're welcome Because it means we edited it out

Yeah, but if you heard it Wow, you are welcome Tomorrow is the last confession of the year And it's about a Tapa That was invited to a family Christmas Yeah So she goes she goes to uni And one of her uni friends is like

My family have this like Christmas party every year Fun! I'm one of seven siblings And so it's not like our family We just have like this Every sibling brings a couple of friends And it's like Because seven they're obviously the age gaps

And they're like It's chaos but it's awesome Do you want to come down and the tarpa goes, fuck, yeah, let's do it. That sounds like a lot of fun. Some shit goes down at that party and we're all just going to have to be here for one another

and to support the anonymous tarpa. I hope that in my life at some point, I become friends with someone who does a big family Christmas party every year. I invite you every year. No, like to your Christmas... One day, wouldn't it be nice? I just hope. It's all I want. Do you want to come?

You're like, I'm busy. I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. No, but like, not like a Christmas, like, you know, when families have like a New Year's Eve, a Christmas Eve party or whatever, like, and it's like a debauchress, like.

Yeah. Yeah. I've just never had a family friend that had that or, you know? Right, about down for next year. My goals are 2026. Yeah, nice. Um, finally satisfied Tony's needs of months. Especially in the holiday season.

I wasn't saying you had to do it. I wasn't say you had to do it. Oh, thank it on. what you're saying? Oh, I've only a friend did this thing. Well, I think that we could, we can go and recalibrate. We'll be back tomorrow.

Do you need a recalibration? I think I do. Would you like that calibration? I'm going to punch Charles in the fucking face. Not at work. So it's like not underwork cover anything. So you'd be right. I'd do it outside.

You know, in terms of this recalibration. Yeah. Would you like that ass first? Or Fannie first. Because I'll recalibrate you're in the side room. Actually, Fanny first, I think. Yeah, just old school. Yeah.

Sometimes just, yeah, meat and potatoes. It's just like, the usual. Yeah. You know, the classics are a classic for a reason. So true. Yeah. All right. Love you.

See you tomorrow. So I'll crawl into the finish line. Love you, bye.