Toni and Ryan - Hazelnut vs Vanilla

Episode Date: July 25, 2024

We've got overwhelming shops and ONE MORE SLEEP until our TARPaTHON livestream!!! [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. Hello. We are calling Edmonton. Edmonton. In Canada, which is home of the Oilers. It is. Is it? I don't know.

And we're calling Luke. Luke. Big L. Is it Luke or Loose? I can't say the thing. Yeah. And also paper can't talk back. It can ask all questions. I can't. Yeah, it won't tell me anything. This number has call control.

To get through, please press 8. Pressure. I've never heard that. But couldn't just any person do that? But if it was a robot. That's not a good security system. They're breaking into this house. Someone's breaking into my house and they go, press 8.

And they go, okay. I want to come in Tony's box. Luke, how you doing? Hello, I'm great. How are you guys? We're good. Is it Luke or is it Luce? We were just talking about it. It is Luke, but I do believe the origin is like

Luce, which means light. Luce Fiasco. Yeah. The rap, I believe. In Edmonton, local. Local, yeah. We're just saying, Luke, you've got some heavy security. On your phone number.

Yeah, it makes you press eight. What's the deal with that? You don't trust us? Yeah. Well, I trust you guys with my life. I just make sure that robots are not able to call me directly. Yeah, see, that's what I was saying. The robots. But the robots guys. Stop moving the robots. A robot could press 8. Do you know what I'm saying? They can't. They don't have fingers.

You've got me there. You have got me there. Rosie from the Jetsons though, she had fingers. But she was a human. She's a robot. Otherwise, why would i have mentioned a very specific character that was a human and not a robot crush on her what does that mean for me rosie jetson the robot that cling their house and stuff yeah yeah i'd say when you a young boy isn't it any robots yes or no are you So yes or no, are you a robot? Yes. Like, oh, no.

You know. It's not for me. Yeah, so Luke, we are just worried for your safety. That's all. And we just wanted to flag that. Okay, I appreciate that very much. I'm going to look into this with, I'm going to research some robot fingers and figure out what my next steps are.

I would be very careful where I Googled that. Yeah, make sure you're on the incognunicator for that one, I reckon. Press 8 before you do it. How many times have you seen Titanic? Oh, well over 100 times. It's got to be the best film ever. A man of the people. So, Luke, I can't help but notice that no one's using the Titanic's Christian name,

so no one respects it as much as me. No, but that's the boat, not the movie. I couldn't give a fuck about the boat. I just like the movie. What's the Christian name, so no one respects it as much as me. No, but that's the boat, not the movie. I couldn't give a fuck about the boat. I just like the movie. What's the Christian name? The RMS Titanic, Luke. What are you talking about? Yeah, it's an original birth name. The RMS Titanic, my apologies.

The full name, the full given God name. Yeah. Tony's been really offended. Luke, do we approve this podcast before Tony gets real fucked off? I approve the fuck out of this podcast. You want me back? Hello, this is Luke from Edmonton in Canada and I approve this podcast. Welcome to a video show.

Woo! And it might be our last one ever because we might die tomorrow. Oh, okay. Right. Right. I was like, have I missed a meeting? Yeah, I'm moving to Paris. We decided. Oh, of course.

Yeah. You can watch today's show on the Spotify app on your phone or smart TV and also listen to wherever you're listening. Today, is your husband a toddler? And we mean that obviously in the, like, oh, doesn't he, you know, have a broad diet because we don't endorse that, obviously. What, marrying five girls? Child rights.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know. Yeah. And that's okay. Great clarification. I just think that we should bring this up. Yeah. And that's just important to talk about. You know. Yeah. And that's okay. Great clarification. I just think that we should bring this up.

Yeah. And that's just important to talk about. It is, yeah. Yeah. But last week we learned that my wife called. Shut the fuck up. Sorry. It's actually now like a compulsion.

Yeah. I need to go to the doctor for this. Yeah. I need to go to exposure therapy where I don't. My partner, Bridget. Yeah. I thought you were married. I thought she was.

Sorry. It's because you don't wear a wedding ring. That's why I need to be reminded. If anyone knows who my wedding ring is. No one does. I was about to say call in like we're a radio show. Okay. Sex in the City.

13 10 60. Oh, 13 10 65. Oh, for? For Kiss. For Kiss. Remember Kiss? Nah. 13, 10, 60. Oh, 13, 10, 65. Oh, for Kiss. For Kiss. Remember Kiss? Nah. Neither. Neither do they.

I don't like onion and garlic, so my wife calls it flavouring. Yep. I also never liked pickles, so Bridget just gave me vinegared cucumbers. Yep. And all is well in the world. Yeah, apparently. Now, I was mercilessly mocked on the internet and the comment section was half brutal but half,

I wouldn't say supportive, but like, well, here's the dumb shit I tell my husband and it made me feel a lot, at least I'm not the only fuckhead in this world. I did notice though that all the comments were like, I tell my kids this or I tell my partner this. None of them were like, my wife, husband, mum, dad, whatever, told me this. So it's like people still don't know that they've been lied to.

Yeah, and ignorance is bliss. You know what I mean? Ignorance is bliss. It was a huge theme but I was like I tell my family this but no one being like my family said this to me. So are they still calling it sea chicken over there? Well, do you want to talk about the sea chicken? It's ants, by the way, that message that.

I saw one comment and it was that, yeah, my daughter decided that she didn't like fish anymore. So I called it sea chicken and very happily she ate it, no questions asked. And did you cry in the office earlier being like, how is that not worse? I just thought the visual of a chicken in the sea, like am I eating seagull?

Like it's just so sickening to me. Like how is that not worse than just thinking it's a fish? Imagine if you're out on your stand-up paddle board. Yeah. Standing, paddling away. Found that in the shed the other day, by the way. How was it? It's in good nick, surprisingly. I don't doubt that. Yeah. Just standing, paddling away. Yeah. Found that in the shed the other day, by the way. How was it? It's in good nick,

surprisingly. I don't doubt that. Yeah. It's like it's never been used. It has been used once on the water. Never been stood on, but it has been in the water. Imagine you're out on the stand-up paddleboard and there's this chicken just swims past. Oh, it's a sea chicken. Oh, a sea chicken. Yeah, I can see a chicken.

I'm on a sea chicken diet sea chicken and i eat it thurso girl fuck you that was good champagne comedy champagne thurso girl my 17 year old doesn't like cauliflower but he loves white broccoli fuck that's good i I'll be honest, though. A cauliflower, sorry. Yeah. It's only good as cauliflower cheese, and I'll take that to the bank. Yeah.

Well, I would actually say it's still not good, but if you add a fuckload of cheese and cream to it, it's palatable. But I just think that cauliflower has the worst texture. It's too harsh. And you cook it uh still hard still hard still hard still hard mush it's like where's the where's the like tipping point of like it being good there isn't one yeah it drops right off such a shame sarah said my daughter hated spaghetti but she loves pizza noodles oh that's actually really cute, that one.

Pizza noodles. It's like so thinly. Because it's like the red sauce. No, but it's just like noodles with the pizza sauce on it. That's really cute. Pizza noodles. I like that. My mum, to give me medicine when I was a kid,

used to put it in strawberry Nesquik. Have I ever told you this? No, that sounds. So Dr Pearsonarson my childhood doctor he used to say oh tony like you're not very well oh i'm gonna prescribe you two glasses of strawberry nest quick a day and i'll be like oh fuck yeah and then um and then obviously would like pass my mom the prescription like behind my back or be like oh you go way down in the waiting room like gotta talk to your mum for a second.

And then we'd get home and she'd go, oh, Tony, your strawberry Nesquik. And she would pour the, like, red medicine into the thing. So your mum was lying to you. Yeah, shocker. And I still can't drink strawberry milk now because it tastes like medicine to me because it has the tinge of- But if she doesn't have medicine in it,

then it won't taste like medicine anymore. No, but in my mind, I'm like, oh, that's medicine milk. R.I.P. strawberry. And now they're out of business. But like any strawberry milk, strawberry milkshake, anything strawberry flavoured stuff, I like taste medicine. What other lies did your mum tell you? Oh, mate, the podcast is not fucking long enough.

The internet's not big enough for me to share all of the others. She's obviously such a fussy little bitch that she had to- She doesn't like medicine, but she loves strawberry Nesquik and the doctor's like- He's like, we'll get her together. Yeah, fucking- Don't you fucking worry about it. Yeah.

Go on. Robram. Hi, Robram. My daughter won't eat quesadilla, but she loves Mexican grilled cheese. I mean, your daughter's a fucking idiot because quesadillas are fucking delicioso. She loves Mexican grilled cheese. I love a Mexican grilled cheese myself too. So next time we go to a Mexican, should we get like,

oh, I'll get the quesadilla and I'll get the Mexican grilled cheese as like a little excuse to have two quesadillas. Charlie Roberts. We used to call him. Probably Charlie. Probably. Probably not Charlie. Sharalee.

Let me text this to you. Okay. Pause. Un momento, everyone. Oh, actually. Yeah. Sharalee. Or Sharalee.

Oh, Sharalee, we got it right. Oh, it's the accent podcast. Sharalee, I'm entitled to an apology. Yeah. Yeah. You did say Sharalee, so I thought that it was Charlie that you'd gone a sh. Shh. Shh. Shh.

Love you. Keep going. What did Charlie say? We used to call cheese pizza vanilla pizza because my son insisted that he hated cheese, but he loved vanilla pizza. Vanilla pizza. Oh, fuck. It just makes you feel sick hearing that.

A big lump of ice cream on a pizza. I know that's not what it was. But is vanilla just like code for like plain? Plain. Yes. I didn't realise. I think I know what you're about to say and I'm going to be sick with you because I agree.

I didn't realise that vanilla was a flavour until way too late. I just assumed vanilla is just like the base default thing. Like everything in this world is vanilla until you add the stuff into it. I get what you mean. That's not what I thought you were going to say, but actually totally agree. But I love vanilla. Like a vanilla milkshake, it fucks.

So I think the other day I bought those pre-packet coffees, which are a little bit fucking. I love those. Don't mention that around cool Melbourne people, but they don't fucking miss, do they? I'm actually, they're no shade. I fucking love them. And they've got the milk powder in them, so it's like real fucking good.

So I got the vanilla latte flavor, but in my mind, you don't add vanilla. Vanilla is the base. So any. Any latte is a vanilla latte. Yeah. But now that I'm aware of the concept of vanilla as a flavor, it's one of the greats. Yeah. But now that I'm aware of the concept of vanilla as a flavour, it's one of the greats.

Yeah. Even better than. Here we go. Here we go. Something's happening. Vanilla flavour is better than hazelnut flavour. Oh, fucking hands down. Hazelnut sucks cock and not in a good way hazelnut fucking sucks

people that like nutella grow up and get some vanilla you fucking loser fuck you you know what i was gonna say i don't like nutella but i do like ferrero rocher not and what's that hazelnut stuff i put in my coffee when i want to get it loose on a sunday are they frangelico that stuff can fucking get it no i i'm not a hazelnut girl sunday afternoons we've done it a few weeks in a row a little scoop of ice cream shot of coffee yeah and some frangelico or what's that other one yeah i go bridge doing a coffee i'm about like it's about three o'clock so it's like final call, turn the machine off. Yeah, right. And I go, Sunday afternoon, should I give a little spice?

She goes, yeah, give a little spice. Yeah, right. I would never think to make it at home. Like, make a- Don't come around. Yeah. Well, this weekend we'll be together. Maybe if we're streaming for long enough, we'll get to Africa at all o'clock.

Nah, we talked about this last time. Nah. Easy on the coffees. Yeah. Because what goes up must come down. And the alcohol will put me straight to sleep. I have one sip of alcohol and I'm asleep. Yeah. Or not. One sip. Hilarious. Two sips. No. My legs get hot and I fall asleep. What I was going to say

though about. I think Tommy Little still got a restraining order from you from when you were in Sydney that night. No, I was in good form and so was he. What I will say. Some of the greatest form you'll see actually. Great form. What I will say though is that I was so disappointed when I learned that Greek yogurt, like plain Greek yogurt, is not the vanilla one because I was buying vanilla Greek yogurt and I was like plain Greek yogurt is fucking mean.

What are people talking about? And then one day I was like, yeah, I'll get like the yogurt and whatever and I was like, greek yogurt is fucking mean what are people talking about and then one day I was like yeah I'll get like the yogurt and whatever and I was like what's this sour lemon milk yeah and it's plain greek yogurt so it doesn't have vanilla in it no it doesn't and when you have a lot of it yo yeah uh Jess says my family hates quiche but loves summer egg pie. I love egg and bacon pie. Kidda says my husband recently died. So sorry to hear that. Yeah, he got hit by a bus. Oh, that's too much.

There's this viral video at the moment where this guy, like there's this old guy on his mobile and this young guy just grabs it out of his hand and just like runs for it and runs straight across the street and gets hit by a bus. That's grim, mate. That video is found, but it's like hit me five times in the last day, not a bus, not a video. Yeah. I haven't seen that.

Yeah, it'll get you. Oh. But it's just like one of those instant karma and you're kind of like, it's sort of satisfying because you're like, fuck you. Is it real? I think so. Yeah. It's like a CCTV kind of thing.

Oh, okay. I was going to say someone's standing there. Oh, you know. Yeah. My husband thought the word hummus sounded weird. Okay. And he's like, I just threw him off and he couldn't like hummus. Yeah.

But he's loving my white bean dip. I'll bet you like his white bean dip as well. Hey, it's Luke from Edmonton in Canada, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tarpers over at our Patreon. Hopefully, these people from our champion tapateer will be watching the tapathon with us over the weekend. Jade, good on you, Jade.

Rachel Fenwick, Kirstie R, Parker and Ree. Thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. We actually can't do this without you, so we absolutely love you. But all tiers of Patreon are like scrolling across the bottom of the video show at the moment. The names. Yeah, not them, like, physically. Yeah, all the tiers. Oh, there goes Champion.

Oh, okay. No, no, no. All the Tarpers that are Patreons are now scrolling across the bottom. But exclusive and Champion Tarpers are able to watch our Tarpathon this weekend. So if you've been waiting for an excuse to upgrade just for the weekend, no judgment. If you upgrade, then fuck off.

All good. We don't mind. Yeah, and if you've never joined Patreon and you think, I'll try it out for the tarp, you get a month. That's how it works. Do a month and then cancel it. If you want to fuck off, that's okay. But big weekend, a lot of fun to be had.

A lot of fun to be had. Now, I don't know if this is going to scare you, Tony Lodge. Oh, nothing does. Everything does. I'm really not scared. I was lying. Dima. Hi, Dima.

G'day, Tarpers. Did a cheeky bit of math for you with the help of ChatGPT. Nice. And calculated the average time from the start of the last 20-ish Olympics until Australia's first gold medal. Here are the results. So we're kind of banking on our swimmers getting it done on the first evening, which will mean 24, 25 hours,

which is still a big stint to be live the whole time, but we're kind of banking on that. If we miss out, then Paris goes to sleep and it's like... Do you want to start with the good news or the bad news? Yeah. So do you want me to tell you my feelings at the moment? Yeah. Are you okay?

No, no, no. Well, because I think. We're starting in less than 24 hours. Probably, yeah. Is it a good time? Speak up now. Is it a good time? Oh, maybe.

Actually, yeah, no, go. I think it's too late, but I just want to share this with you. Yeah. I'm feeling a bit scared because i feel like 24 hours feels like pretty doable and like i'm like okay 24 that's fine like it's one night away from the fam you know and that's like okay and then we start getting into you know the 48 territory which is kind of when we started to really fucking turn last Topathon when we did it last year. So, I don't know.

I'm just starting to get like a little bit nervous. Are you feeling nervous? A little bit. I think the fact that we need to get up when the time starts with the three. Yeah, that's probably. I actually, because that means the night before you're like, fuck, got to wake up in four hours. So, last time we started at 9am.

Nine. So we had a really good night's sleep going into it. And you slept at the place in Toowoomba where we did it, whereas I slept in my house then flew up to Toowoomba after. So if we go to bed, because we'll be excited, we're all having a sleepover in Tarp Tower. We'll probably get four hours sleep. Fuck me.

That's actually not, you know me, I need my sleep. I do know you and I do know that. Like? Do you want the good news or the bad news? I'd love the bad news, please. In the Montreal Olympics. Yeah. Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! That doesn't count. We're not counting until Saturday. Fuck. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! That doesn't count. We're not counting until Saturday. Fuck. So get it together. Do you know what I mean?

Nice one. During the Montreal Games, 121 hours until Australia's first gold. In Barcelona, 86.5 hours. Beijing, 47.5 hours. Tokyo, the last Schmillimpics, 38 and a half hours last time. Hey, how does that make you feel? Rio in 2016 was 27 hours. London in 2012 was 27 hours. London in 2012 was 18 hours.

Piss that in. Getting towards my areas, yeah. Athens, 14 hours. Oh. Oh. LA Olympics in 84, 48 hours. Moscow, 73. What's the good news? I love you.

That is good news. I do love to see that. Good news, Atlanta, 14 hours, Athens, 14, London, 18, down to 22 hours for Helsinki in 52. I think, though, that this data, whilst helpful, isn't really foolproof because the events weren't necessarily all at the same time. And they didn't have Shane and Jack in the 4x100.

So what I'm thinking is like, you know, maybe it was just that medal events didn't start until a bit later for that one that was 100 fucking hours. Do you know what I'm thinking is like, you know, maybe it was just that medal events didn't start until a bit later for that one that was 100 fucking hours. Do you know what I mean? We just didn't. What? Like there were, yeah. There were?

Yeah. Well, do we, is there, you know what? I'm not going to try and negotiate yet. I think we need to sit it out. What would you like to say to Arianne? Arianne Titmuss. Who's in the 400? Swim, babe.

Do it for you. Do it for the country. Do it for us. Do it for TARP. Arianne Tartmuss. I think I don't, yeah, so I keep going to negotiate and like go, oh, what if we, does two silvers equal gold or something? Let's save the negotiations.

There's no negotiating. There fucking is. Because if you think that I'm live streaming for 100 hours, you've got another fucking thing coming, mate. Two silvers equals a gold? That doesn't. I'm just saying as an example. No, there is no, it's pretty clear cut.

Like there needs to be a point where we like. Yeah. And you know what that point is? When they win gold. Yeah. No, there needs to be a point where we can like be flakes. I'm happy to say that I'm a loser and I didn't do it. Maybe when we get over 100 hours, you can start.

A hundred hours. No. You can start pitching things. Well, if I can sleep, can I sleep? If we get to those kinds of hours, we're going to need to come with a plan. That's where the negotiation comes in. Okay, but it's not negotiating to finish.

It's negotiating to maybe have a nap or a shower or something. So, yeah, maybe like but I think that that negotiation can happen because I don't want to – we're putting good vibes out. We're going to win. Yeah, Shane and Jack's going to get it done. We're literally going to win. We're all good. So I don't want to start negotiating now because I've got good faith

to know that maybe we could negotiate. Breaking news. Sketchy Ant who does our animations. Sorry, did you want to- Sorry, I've just fucking dripped shit all over myself. What happened there? You tell me. Oh, no, I was just having a sip of coffee and it's gone everywhere.

I'm so sorry. It didn't go on my jumper. Luckily, Sophie's just getting me some douses. Oh, my God. Thank you, Sophie. Can't thank you anyway. Oh, Sophie, what are you doing? Shout out to our good friends at McCafe for the coffee.

God, she's making a fucking dog's breakfast of that, Sophie. Would you like to thank McCafe for this opportunity, Tony Lodge? Oh, my God, have you ever unfurled a paper towel before? What's happening? Jesus Christ. Look at that. It looks like the bottom of a ghost. Is this a set of Tony and Ryan or Jaws?

Oh, my goodness. What a shocking. You've done a terrible job. Get out of it. We're about to spend 100 hours together. I was going to say, you guys are about to enter the. Don't let it get to us soon, but if you do that again. Yeah, no, I'll be watching you.

We're at hour minus 10 and cabin fever has set in. All right, sorry. Sketchy Ant, who does the animations, if you've ever seen some animations. Of Tarp. Of Tarp. He will be with us. He'll be during the live stream.

He'll be coming in and he'll be doing some Pictionary challenges. Amazing. So he'll be drawing live in real time and Tony and I will be guessing. 100% that's him. If you know him from the internet, who's a fucking legend, he'll also be joining us. And one of the challenges, one of the themes of the challenges is. Amazing.

So the challenges that we do at the top of every hour. So on the o'clock we'll be doing a little reset and a little challenge that we've got something to talk about, something to do. Some of the themes are obviously like the Schmalympics. Some of the themes are sports, sort of. Are they all sports themed? Because I'm not into that. I'm not doing sport for 100 hours, you guys. I'm not a fucking athlete. One of the big themes are challenges and tests that best friends will be able to do together.

Nailed it. I could do that for 100 hours. Yep. Okay, I do have a question actually. What is the most overwhelming store you've ever been into? So, have a think, Ryan, of like a shop that you've walked into where you're just like, ooh, and everybody listening or watching, if you're watching the video show, think about a time when you walked into a store and you were like, what the fuck? it was what the fuck for a few reasons yeah one because of just general overwhelm

but i think it was also i i think it was also the moment i realized i wasn't like young anymore and i walked into a cotton on and it was packed the music was pumping yeah and i reckon it must have been the day a new line like everything was just every table was stocked yeah so you know how there's no inch of table space not being used up yeah and it's stacked high and it's stacked high there was like 30 people there the music's pumping they're like oh can i hug you close they're just like what's up bro and i was just like, oh, can I hug you with clothes? They're just like, what's up, bro? And I was just like, oh, where do I? And then I went in and someone came in behind me. I was like, I can't fucking escape.

Yeah, you feel a bit trash. I feel old. The music's pumping. Yeah, they're not my size. Literally, they're like, oh, my God, does this come in a large? Like what, like a 33? And I'm like. I don't know what that means because I.

I'm a lady. Yeah. So, yeah. So, no, it a lady. Yeah. So, yeah. So, no, it wasn't for me. Yeah, okay. Yeah, and I was just like, oh, you don't even get anywhere near my size of my arsehole with your little twink jeans. Do you know the other part that's overwhelming about Cotton On?

And I quite like Cotton On. I've got a lot of clothes from there, but I shop online and that's okay, is that when you go to the checkout and they're like, did you want a charity bag? And you go, oh, no, checkout and they're like, did you want a charity bag? And you go, oh, no, thanks. And they go, did you want a charity water? And you go, no, thanks. They go, did you want some charity sunglasses?

You go, fuck, you're really making me look like an asshole, but no, thanks. And, like, they offer you 90 things and you're just like, oh, please just let me check out. Like, I'm feeling really stressed. The music's really loud. There's 100 people behind me. Like, let me tap my car.

Add $50 to the thing and just let me leave. Couldn't agree more. And, like, I had car. Add $50 to the thing and just let me leave. Couldn't agree more. And I had to dodge 15 charity guys to get into the store. Yeah, like. Don't bust my balls when I'm in here. And I just feel. You don't know what I do when I donate at home. You just feel really guilty.

I'm spending $4 on a T-shirt. That doesn't come with a $15 donation. And, oh, yeah. And so that is over. I will give you that, actually. Sorry. What's your vibe on paying for a tote bag? I'm happy to pay for a tote bag.

Yeah. The same way that if I go to Woolies and forget an eco bag, I'll buy one of the like the paper ones. So a tote bag. So when the tote bag. Sorry, my thing is. Yeah. Is that when Coles, you forget your eco bag. And you go, okay, it costs 20 cents for a brown paper bag. So, sorry, my thing is, is that when Coles, you forget your-

Eco bag. Eco bag. And you go, okay, it costs 20 cents for a brown paper bag. And you go, well, I'm going to do it for forgetting. Yeah. But when they go, did you want a tote bag? It's four bucks. And you go, I don't really need a tote bag.

Do you have the 20 cent version? That's, I'm like, you need it. It only needs to be a cheap as fuck option. Obviously, we're trying not to use plastic. I get it. Yeah. But like, don't make it half. Four bucks?

Four dollars is a lot. But then I think i think that the idea though is that you buy that yeah and then you reuse it but i don't think that people do and then isn't that just more over consumption anyway because i'm buying that instead of buying like maybe a plastic bag that i'd probably use for rubbish at home i'd use it for rubbish and then the boot of my car has 58 tote bags if you think i'm going to bring one of those empty tote bags into the shop. I'll forget and I'll buy another one, another $4. Yeah. I mean, it is all for charity.

So, I'm like, I get it. How much is for charity and how much is for the tote bag production? I do like cotton on though. This sounds. Anyway, but I'm going to. See, you know the overwhelm we're all feeling about going into Cotton On and all that happening. I'm going to fucking do you one better. Have you ever been into a lighting store? Yeah, it is very unpleasant.

We are changing the light bulbs in our house to smart bulbs, right? Oh, what a punish. And we were doing the ones in our lounge room and we realised that we need like a little fixture to like be able to put a bulb in it. Right. Right? It's like really very simple fix but we had to go to a lighting store. We walk in there and it's so bright yeah there's like a thousand

lights on display they're all a slightly different color they're all a bit different color like half of them are turned on and some of them pointing right at you some are just like hanging there and so you can look at the fixture the thought of this is actually giving me a headache it's so i'd never been in there before. I've never even thought about entering a store like this before. And I was like, oh, I guess we've just got to go there. We walk in. There's a thousand lights on this way.

Half of them are turned on. They're all pointing in your eye. And because they're turned on, you can't actually look at the lighting fixture because it blinds you. It just looks like bright white. Yeah, and then you get the burns in your eyes and you can't, it's like when you look at the sun for too long. I'm actually getting those burns right now just thinking about it.

How the fuck is that possible? It's actually stressing me out sitting here. Isn't it so stressful? Anyway, so we walk in and I grab Torbz's hand and I go, I'm really overwhelmed. Like this is making me feel a bit unhappy. Yeah. And he goes, it's okay.

Like the things that we need, I'm pretty sure are just there. Like we'll just go have a look. I was like, oh. Anyway, he grabs my hand, gives me a little squeeze on the hand. It's going to be okay. We're going to walk through this thing. We start to walk and we start hearing all of these ticks. The other 500 lights in the store that aren't turned on are on motion sensors.

And as you start to walk through the store. that aren't turned on are on motion sensors. Oh. And as you start to walk through the store. I thought I was going to be abducted. It was like it was coming down to take us back to its home planet and probe us. It was the most stressed I think I've ever been in my whole entire adult life. Is that what it would be like walking the red carpet? You know, I didn't even think about that, but it must be. It was like I was at the Met and I'd gotten the theme wrong, you know?

Exactly like that, yeah. But, like, it was so fucking stressful. Fuck. How long did you last? The shop was empty, right? So it's not as if there was heaps of people hustling and bustling. It was full of stressful. Fuck. How long did you last? The shop was empty, right? So it's not as if there was heaps of people hustling and bustling. It was full of 10,000 lines. It was full of all those lines.

And you know why no one else was there? Because they've been before. Because it's too stressful. You only need to go there once. That's how you know. So we go in there and then we end up getting like we needed eight of these things. And I was like, can we just buy one, go home and test it and return if it doesn't work? And the guy was amazing.

And he was like, of course. I've seen you. If you're coming back today, I'll still be here. Don't worry. We take it home and it works. I go, oh my god, amazing. We don't have to go back there. And Torbz goes, well, we have to buy the other seven. But at least you know what it is now. You can order that shit online. Well, we went back because I was like,

I really want to finish this job. Send Torbz in. Send Pippa in. Yeah. Pippa would have died, I think. to finish this job. Send Torbs in. Send Pippa in. Yeah. Pippa would have died, I think. She actually would have. She probably would have had a seizure. Anyway, so I've got my sunglasses on like a little celebrity, like I was on the red carpet, and I'm like, ah, and the fucking things are flashing.

It was honestly great. I do not know how people can work in there. You would just feel sick all the time. Remember that you were telling that story about that room that is so quiet that you can hear your own blood boil or whatever? Yeah. What's the light equivalent to that? That.

Yeah. Could it be so light that you could see through yourself? I could see forward and backwards. I could see the man who helped us, his skeleton. It was honestly the most overwhelmed I've ever felt. I could see forward and backwards. I could see the man who helped us, his skeleton. It was honestly the most overwhelmed I've ever felt. As soon as you said that, I'm like, yeah, it's terrifying. I just, I didn't even think about it.

And they're all on. And like you said, they're all slightly different warmth. The slightly different colours really fucked me up. It was really, and like my glasses are like vibrating off my face. I'll tell you what else is overwhelming. What? When you go to a paint store and you go, I want a white, and they go, which sort of white?

Oh, and there's a million different eggshells, marshmallow, potato. They're all the same colour. Yeah. I just want white that tastes like real white. Yeah, and like, I don't really, I can't tell. Or someone takes a photo of a colour on their phone and they go, is it your camera, my screen? Yes. Your screen if you've got it on night shift mode.

Is this the colour you wanted? What the fuck is that? What does that mean? Yeah. Oh, nah, I agree. There should be, for those of you watching on the thing. Yeah. Oh, like a swatch.

One white and one yellow in the world. Okay. That's it. We've got three yellows that I can see in here. Four? Five? Yeah, it's very stressful. But I think that that's like analysis paralysis,

like option paralysis. This was just physically overwhelming on the iris, you know? Too fucking much. Let me, overwhelming on the iris is a sentence that just. Touch me on the iris hole. I'm going to send you an ad, Tony Lodge, is why you love to see it. An ad?

They're advertising a. Sorry, it's already loaded. They've got this back to front for me. They're trying to advertise an app that you use to, I guess, logbook your miles that you're driving for work yep so if you got a little log book and you've got to put yep i drove 1.2 kilometers to the shop for work today now tony can you let us know what's going on there um so they've said hand job no automatic log book yes because heaven forbid you would log your jobs by hand. Hand job.

How's that been what they've decided on there? Surely they know what they're doing. And do they? Go far car is the app. I mean, it's got 200,000 views on Twitter. That's quite good, I feel. That is pretty good. A hand job.

As if they, like, okay, let's workshop a different way that they could have asked that. Pen job? No. Doing it by hand? Even now that we're in that gross mindset. Yeah. What about, because the other side says automatic logbook,

shouldn't the other one say manual? Manual logbook, yeah. Yes, correct. But manual job says automatic logbook. Shouldn't the other one say manual? Manual logbook, yeah. Yes, correct. But manual job, manual logbook. Now, I see that you also saw earlier this week I posted a newspaper article about students at a local school that were getting... Their first-hand job experience. Well, they were getting work experience firsthand

and the newspaper article headline is, student gets first gets firsthand job experience i pissed my pants when i read that i didn't i don't know what the article's about saw that headline and you fucking lost me instantly and it was well worth it eager students invaded businesses all over the town on tuesday looking for a future job with plenty of opportunities on Student Career Mentoring Day. Good for them. Lots of those students got their first-hand job experience. First-hand job experience.

They got first-hand job experience. Oh, I've got a really nice, you love to see it, to try and fix our weekends up. Someone posted this and they say, I was looking at selfie sticks on Amazon. I think this review is so sweet and cute. I've sent it to you, Ryan, via text and we'll pop it up on the screen. I'd like you to read the five-star review that's on this selfie stick on Amazon.

Yeah, I was looking at selfie sticks on Amazon, and I think this review is so sweet and cute. It's by Noral Proud. No, so someone's reposted this because the review's so cute. Even I could make it work, and I took the nicest picture of myself in 50 years. And it's this little selfie of this beautiful gentleman who's down by this little river and he's bought this selfie stick

because he goes, you know what? I'd like to take some photos and I'd like to be in them and he's given that selfie stick five stars. What a great review. But you know that there were other people on the hiking trail that were walking past and he went, oh, how do I unfold the stick and put in the fucking name? But isn't it so sweet?

The nicest picture of myself in 50 years. I just thought that was so cute. Well, he's selling himself short. He's a very cute old man. Yeah. But I thought that was really sweet. What a nice guy. Yeah, quite wholesome.

Well, wish us luck. Should we get selfie sticks? I have them on a list somewhere for something. I wrote them down. I was like, we should get selfie sticks. I can't remember a list somewhere for something. I wrote them down. I was like, we should get selfie sticks. I can't remember what the idea was and I don't remember why. I'm glad we didn't do it. But we're on the same page.

Oh, I think it's because when we toured America, you wanted to walk around. With the selfie stick. Yeah. Yeah. I must have found that list the other day. Or maybe I added them to my Amazon wish list. I was like, I'm going to get those before we go.

Yeah. Wish us luck. Wish us luck. Wish Australia luck. Yeah. We're going to kill it before we go. Yeah. Wish us luck. Wish us luck. Wish Australia luck. Yeah. We're going to kill it, hopefully, and very quickly. If you have been thinking about joining us for the Tarpathon this weekend, please do it.

It's really a lot of fun. Everybody from last year absolutely frothed the Tarpathon. Yep. And Ryan said this the other day, don't leave it too late. Because we don't know when it's going to end. You don't know when it's going to end, so get in early. So make sure that you... Oh, just a little...

Yeah, where can they find the link? So it'll be in our Patreon for exclusive and champion tarpers. Patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan. But those two tiers are the ones that you need to have a look for. But fuck, we are... Get around us. We're really excited. Get a good night's sleep tonight, everyone.

Get a good night's sleep. We'll get going very early. Love ya. Hoo. Ho. Ho. Hoo. Goodbye.

Farewell. Maybe forever. Love you, bye.