Toni and Ryan - Heather Wins The Break Up

Episode Date: September 25, 2022

The most *awks* ex-encounters, and I rap about the movie Shrek. Love you!! Toni x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Hi, welcome. That's Tony, I'm Ryan, and we're calling Ainsley in Gambia. Hello. Hey, is that Ainsley? Hey, it is. Will you approve the Tony and Ryan podcast? Oh, I better, yeah, I will.

Oh, right. I know Adelaide's 30 minutes behind Melbourne, but you can just keep up with us, mate. That'd be great. I know. Well, I'm working from home today on purpose. I was like, I better get ready. And then I was like, oh, shit, I actually better check the time zones

because I like always, always get me with that. Well, from Mount Gambier, will you approve the podcast? I 100% will. I was actually just listening to today's podcast. Oh, top-ception. Top-ception, lovely. Top-ception, 100%. Hi, I'm Ainsley from Mount Gambier and I approve this podcast.

Coming up today. Shrek. We're talking Shrek, but there's been some pushback in the Patreon community. What the Shrek? You're Shrek-ing me. You're shitting me. Nah. Nah.

It's not going to work there. Yeah. I'd Shrek that asshole. Welcome to the podcast. I came in like a Shrek and Bob. Whoa. And we're on today. Yeah. But coming up, Tony came in like a Shrek and Bob. Whoa. And we're on today. Yeah.

But coming up, Tony will be rapping about Shrek. But there's also been some debacle amongst the Patreons, which I'll have to. Amongst the Patreons? Yeah. They get rowdy sometimes. Yeah, they get a bit rowdy. So I've got to put a few people in their place. Oh.

That's coming up soon. But first of all, is there anything more awkward in life than bumping into an ex when you're not expecting to be bumping into an ex? And you never bump into them, you know, just after you've had your make-up done. When you're looking good. Yeah, or anything like that.

You bump into them when you go, you know what, I will just run into the shops without my bra on and with one Birkenstock. I just run into grabs like, oh, have you been? I'm killing it. Yeah, I'm doing really well. Well, not well enough for two Birkenstocks apparently. Just the one?

Just the one, yeah. Did you lose one? No, I found one. They only had one at the op shop. I thought one was better than none. So the Frank Green water bottles from Tony and Ryan went out a few days ago, a few weeks ago. People loving them.

Great job, shipping officer. A lady accidentally sent her bottle to her ex-boyfriend's house, so she had to awkwardly go around there and be like, oh, hey, mate. Yeah, Google autofill. It'll get you. It'll get you. It will. It'll get you.

So I guess a show of camaraderie. Nice. Is that a word? Yeah. Did I say it right? I don't a show of camaraderie. Nice. Is that a word? Yeah. Did I say it right? I don't know. Camaraderie. You're not the only one that's had an awkward run in with an ex.

Let's share some stories from the tarps. Yeah, love that. Let's start with Dana. Hi, Dana. Now, this is fucking petty shit. And can I just say I'm on Dana's side and her ex sounds like an asshole. And if you're a tarper, it doesn't matter the story. I'm with you. I'm it doesn't matter the story.

I'm with you. I'm backing your side of the story. My ex came back to the house claiming he wanted his grass back because we planted grass in the backyard. What the fuck? He's like, well, half of that grass is mine, so I'm just going to come and get it. Oh, my God. Yep.

Is that the most fucking pettiest bullshit thing you've ever heard? I just, how would you even go about that? Wow. And Dana also writes, yeah, that's what I said. Like, she's like, as I'm typing this, I realize how dumb it sounds. Yeah. So when I was out one day, he came around with an excavator and started to try and like,

like dig it up. He's like, oh, you're not going to win this battle. So the cops get called by the neighbor because, because obviously there's someone fucking gone crazy with an excavator next door. So the cops pull up and he gets taken away by the police. And then Dana has a nice little line. Sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Dana, my God.

You know those like cop shows where it always ends on a. Oh, yeah. And they take one drag of a cigarette and they go, I guess the grass isn't always greener, and then they flick it like that or something. Yeah, and then the credits roll. Yeah. Not in my town, buster.

Stephanie Ann. Hi, Stephanie. She was a music major at college. Oh, congratulations. Same as Tony. You were in the operatic arts. What was your title? I was in the operatic arts. I was your title? Well, I was in the operatic arts.

I didn't get into uni for opera though. Well, you were in TAFE for opera? Well, but I didn't go to, yeah, this is a lot more prestigious than anything that I ever did. But you focused on music. You're a music student. Well, yes, I did. And now you're an audio queen.

Yeah, yep. Does that make Pippa the audio princess my little dog that I just got? Did you get a dog? I haven't heard much about it. That was uncalled for for me. That's really unfair. That's my child. That is unfair.

That is my child. The reason I say that is because we're a little behind the scenes chat. We spent an hour talking about Tony's dog before we hit record. Then we're like, all right, let's stop talking to the dog for five minutes and actually do a podcast. Yeah. But here we are. Sorry.

I think that we'll have to hear her. Yeah. It's up to the skills. Yeah, okay. It's not a, you're not, unlike the other royals, you're not born into this one. You need to earn it. Her bloodlines are pure, okay.

Stephanie. She's a music major and she was dating another music major because, I mean, if we know anything about colleges and music majors, it's a very tight-knit community. I wonder if Stephanie was dating a music minor. And that's a joke for any music nerds. You won't get it, but they'll like it. Because, you know, because I don't get it, it sounds like,

that sounds bad. Oh, no. Oh, my God. You didn't realise what you said? No, I didn't because I was making a music joke. Yeah, I know. I get it. I major in a minor key, like a. Oh, no. Did you not realise what you said? No, I didn't because I was making music jokes. Yeah, I know. I get it. But like.

A major and a minor key, like of a song or whatever. You can also when you study like. You do your major and your minor. Like I majored in economics with a minor in like commercial. Okay. A minor. Everybody needs to understand that I was obviously making a joke about like. Cancelled.

Cancelled. Oh, my God. No, please don't cancel me. Tell me about Stephanie, please. All above board, all over age. Canceled. Canceled. Oh my God. No, please don't cancel me. Tell me about Stephanie, please. All above board, all over age. We broke up, but the next semester we were in the marching band together. And if you don't know that, like you always have to stand in the same spot and it's very like specific.

So they had to stand next to each other like three times a day for the next semester. And she's like, well,, it wasn't a bad breakup, but also it wasn't a good one. Yeah. Well, what's a good breakup? And when you have to stand next to them. Anyway, so they thought it'd be better.

And, I mean, indeed, you've got to move on with your life. They both started dating other people. But the other people they were dating were also music. Oh, my God. Music people really do keep it in the family. Yeah. Yeah. We do.

My boyfriend studied the same thing. Oh, you met? Yeah. You were major and he was major. Yeah. And major. Yeah, major. Yeah.

Shit. Let's just move on from the music world. I'm freaked out by the moment. Yeah. No, that's okay. Stephanie, that's awful. Really sorry that that happened. Jordan. Hey's okay. Stephanie, that's awful. Really sorry that happened. Jordan.

Hey, Jordan. Oh, this is fucked. So years after my ex and I broke up, says Jordan, a lot of my items started turning up on Facebook Marketplace. No. My fridge, my workbench, my desk, my reading chair and other bits and bobs that were actually mine. I wasn't allowed to take them after the split

because I thought I was helping her out. She was in a tight spot financially. And so Jordan's like, I'll be the bigger person. Like you need that stuff, you hang on to it. You hang on to that. Yeah. And then he's like, hey, you needed it. Gotcha. But if you're like, hey, you needed it. Gotcha.

But if you're flicking, like now that you've got yourself, you've got a job, but in time, you know, she's got back on her feet, the ex, and got a new job, upgraded a few of the bits, goes, oh, I might just sell that. And he's like, well, no. And you don't forget. That's my thing. It's not as if you go, oh, I'm pretty sure I bought that fridge.

Like you know when you've bought a fridge. Hey, Bridget bought our fridge. Brid, you know when you've bought a fridge. I am. Bridget bought our fridge. Yeah. Fridget, yeah. Fridget, yeah. And it's often referenced because of the new house. Like, should we get a new fridge? Like, my one's pretty good.

So she's real fridge proud. It is a nice fridge. I like that you've got the freezer on the bottom. Where's your freezer? On the top. That's real old school now. Yeah, I know. You can't even buy that.

So the fridge cavity in my house is tiny. It's tiny, yeah. And so we need to get a bigger fridge, especially now with Pippa because we've got like three mouths to feed, so the fridge is full. And so we actually need a bigger fridge, but one doesn't fit in our thing, so we're going to have to move. We're going to have to move house to get a room for a fridge to feed the dog. For our little puppy, yeah.

Heather. Hi, Heather. I'm from a really small town. How small? How small is it? She says about 8,000 on a good day. That's pretty small. Fuck, that's really small.

Yeah. Also, I believe any story that starts with I'm from a really small town. He's about to get fucked. It's like, oh, I dated this guy and his brother was the only other single person. So I also dated him. And then the mum and dad got divorced. So I dated the dad as well. I would do that.

There was a really small town that I knew of when I lived in Queensland. Yeah. And there were three, there was only three gay boys in the whole town and two of them were like together. Oh. And the other one was just. The odd one out. Yeah.

And it always breaks my heart, that story. Three's a crowd, I guess. Yeah, it really is. Yeah, the only guy in the village. Yeah, the only available. The only available. Oh, you guys still together? Yeah.

I'll just wait. Yeah. The only available. The only available. Oh, you guys still together? Yeah. Oh, okay. I'll just wait. You guys hang out here. I'll have my pick with the two of you. Yeah. My first high school boyfriend in this small town dumped me after a few weeks because I didn't want to have sex yet. Oh, what a Carla Conti.

Yeah. What a Carla Conti. And isn't that just the most like high school fucking fucked up thing ever? A decade or so later. From him, not from her. Oh, absolutely. Thanks for clarifying. Yeah, just in case.

We've had the major and the minor. Well, she was in high school, so she wouldn't have been majoring. Yeah. A decade or so later, I'm married and I'm a mum of four. Oh, as a new mum, congratulations. Oh, okay. Kid number, congratulations. Oh, okay. Kid number three is having a birthday party. So I invited all the children in her class to come round.

Fuck. Sorry. Just on that. It's a fucking political minefield now who you invite from a bloody for a class party. Well, and that's where Heather's done the right thing. She's gone. She just invited everyone.

You know what? We can't pick and choose. I don't want to have that battle at the school pick up. Especially when there's only 10 other mums at the school. Yeah, because it's a real small town. It's not like you're not going to fucking run into each other again. Exactly. So she's like, just invite everyone from your class.

Yeah. Hand out your invitations. Yeah. It'll be great. And guess who rolls in with their kid? The boyfriend from 10 years ago, a few decades prior. Oh, and does he go, oh, I see you like to have sex now for kids. Seems like you got over that issue.

He's real cut up about it. Yeah, he's still real fucked up. And then she's like, yeah, it was just you. I didn't want to have sex with you. Yeah, it was just you. And there's a follow-up from Heather. Heather. Heather. She said, and this is the flex.

This is actually so fucking good. Oh, my God. Yep. Lay it on me. Heather's house is pretty nice. It would be with a name like Heather. I know. I've never met a Heather without a shit house.

With a shit house. Heather can make your afternoon and she won't spoil your dinner. So the party's at the house. Oh, what a fuck. See, you're the home turf. Yeah, you're on your turf. You're on your ground. You put your best foot forward.

He's got to fucking walk through your gate. He's got to use your toilet and stuff. Yeah. Nice, Heather. And this is direct from Heather. Oh, yep. He looked old and terrible. Oh, don't you fucking love those people that fucking peaked in high school?

I'm way better looking now than I was. How much worse could it get? But I'm way better looking now. That's not surprising at all because I don't think you can top this because you are, especially today, the things I would. Is it because of my haircut that you didn't notice when you came in? To be fair, you are aware of how your hair is done and it's not presented in a way that shows off the new cut.

It's way shorter. It is. But again, it's in a, you know what I'm saying. Yeah. Remember last time you did your hair did and we, like the whole office had to step back because you came in like all puffed up. Yeah, and I was was on fire and stuff. Yeah.

Anyway. You've been busy. You're a new mum. I know, yeah. So he looked old and terrible. Good. She looked a million bucks. Her house was sparkling and she was just like, suck a fat one.

Finally. Not yours though. Not yours, obviously. Finally. Please don't make fun of me when I say that I once went to America. Was it nice? It was. I've never been.

I'll take you to Hollywood. I've never been to Hollywood. Hollywood. So when you go clubbing in Australia, you're just like, everyone's just dancing like a free-for-all. Yeah, it's real sticky. Yeah. But in the US, and I don't know if it was like a few of the specific clubs

that I went to like in St. Louis, but it was a bit of like, a bit of bump and grind culture. So it's not just like everyone's out in the dance floor dancing. It's more like you kind of partner up. So the guys like, yeah, like when you look at the dance floor, like everyone's sort of partnered up here a little bit. Do you think that that is? It's a bit of bump and grind.

And it could have just been the club because it was a bit of a hip hop club this one I went to. But I noticed that everyone, like, you know, like you'd like dance with a girl. You don't just like dance. Oh. Throw on your arms. It's like the bump and grind. Was that hard for you because you used to dance?

It was hard for me. Very, very hard for me. I was going to say because you're used to dancing with multiple girls at once. Well, in Australia you don't partner up. Because you're just kind of with multiple girls at once. Well, in Australia you don't partner up. Because you're just kind of dancing with everyone. So cultural difference that's very important for this story. From Guy Catter, who I think we had a run in within the Facebook group.

Okay. I don't know if it's Guy Catter. I think it's Cater. Cater. Yeah. But then he thought that his name was Guy Carter or I thought his name was Guy. I'm really confused. He doesn't think he's a Patreon but also he might be?

Surely you would know. That's what I said. If there's $4 coming out of your account each month, that's a pretty good clue. You're seeing it, yeah. If you're commenting on stuff in Patreon, you're probably in it. Yeah. So Guy's like in the club.

He's fucking having a few drinks. In America. In America. Yeah. Having a good time. Yeah. And, you know, clubs are dark and whatever. He's like, this girl's like rubbing up against him and he's like, woo, you know, the bump

and grind. Because the girl's like facing forward and you're like facing... Yeah. Mate, I've been in a club. I know what it's like. So they're bumping and grinding for ages. And then she turns around and it's his ex. And he's like, we'll probably have like a couple of songs,

you know, 10 minutes, you know, he's like holding her hips and they're like getting their swerve on and having a dance on them. Surely he would recognise the back of her head. You would have thought so, wouldn't you? Todd knows me better from the back, actually. Well, when you walk in and he sees your face, you're like, where's Tony? He's like, have I met you? You seem familiar.

Yeah. Have I seen you in the bathroom at some point? And then you turn around and go, that bathroom? And he goes, oh, Tony. Oh, Tony, my mistake. Sweetheart. Sweetheart, go on, sorry. It wasn't a good breakup either.

So it wasn't just like, oh, fuck, what are the chances? It was just like, oh. And then they just walked off. Oh, cold as ice. Cold as ice for the bump and grind for Guy. Maybe we should actually have seen this coming from Guy because he doesn't even know he's in the Patriot. So I think

that this might be on him. The real issue actually. It seems like he really doesn't know what's going on. And in 10 years, we're going to do a segment called, When Did You Not Know You Were Visually Impaired? When Did You Not Know Your Name Was Guy Cater? Hi, Dancers from Mount Gambier and you're listening

to Tony and Ryan. A shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Megan Kelly, thank you so much. Shannon, Jen De La Cerda, De La Curda maybe? De La Curda. That's my Australian accent. De La Curda. De La Curda. Jerry?

You from Malacuda? No, De La Curda. Do you reckon it's Jerry Seinfeld? Probably not. It probably is. It'll be an honour. Jessica Dance. Oh, Jessica, sit down for this one.

Mark Fredericks, Caitlin Savage, Magenta Mudgeway, Sammy P, Chris Wharton, Kylie McGugan, and DJ. And DJ actually messaged us the other day and said that there is a meetup on the 1st of October in Brisbane for the Tarpers. Really? Yeah. Are we invited? First I've heard of it.

Yeah, maybe our invitation got lost in the mail. And DJ had a birthday party planned, but it was for the same day as the meetup. So DJ's moved their birthday party. That's this Saturday. Yeah. Should we go? I don't have anything on. We're going to Sydney on Sunday.

I mean, if we're on the road anyway. We're going to Sydney on Monday. Maybe we could, I mean, if we're on the road anyway. No, we're going to Sydney on Monday. Oh, if we're already on the road. Yeah. It's on the way home. We could, we, yeah. Well, if we're invited. Well, yeah, we haven't been invited.

So let's not assume that we're invited. Yeah. We don't want to be those guys. No. Just turn it up. My God. Will it be like Heather with her ex and we rock up and they're like, oh, they look like shit.

They look like shit now. I'll show off my fucking sick hair. But thank you so much for being part of the Patreon. You fucking love to see it. So this week's movie, we thought with the changing of the guard, we decided to do a category called movies about kings, queens, princes and princesses. Yeah.

And I believe you'd like to make a small statement as well. Yeah. I should have called the members of the community and media and have a press conference. Yeah. Add some sound effects in. Yeah, thank you. Sir, do you have a statement?

Actually, I'm not ready for the statement yet. Okay, sorry. The options were The Man in the Iron Mask, great movie with Leonardo DiCaprio. 6% of votes. Yeah. Marie Antoinette. 3% of votes. Bohemian Rhapsrio. 6% of votes. Yeah. Marie Antoinette. 3% of votes.

Bohemian Rhapsody. 14% of votes. And might I add a fucking hilarious pun from you. Thank you. The King's Speech. 9%. Disappointing because that is an incredible movie. I've never seen it.

Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush. The acting performances are great. Yeah, right. I've never seen it. And Shrek. 68%. Which was the winner. Bit of a shame. Imagine if I had 69%. That would have been better. Bit of a shame Yeah, right. I've never seen it. And Shrek? 68%. Which was the winner. Bit of a shame.

Imagine if I had 69%. That would have been better. That would have been a real shame. All right. If you go and change your vote from King's Speech. Yeah. Mae McInerney. I'm offended Princess Diaries isn't on here.

Alfie Wallace. Just came to the comments to say that all you guys are fucked. Whoa. Where is Princess Bride? Where is Princess Diaries? Yeah, I haven't seen Princess Bride. I only just realised they're not the same thing. No.

Phoebe, no Princess Bride? It's the best ever. What the fuck are you guys doing? Phoebe, oh my God. Darius Kelpis. Darius. Darius Caprice. All I'm saying is that the Princess Diaries not being on here is a crime.

Where do I report it? You want to know the true crime? Them not knowing that we've done that movie before. Now, there has been some discussion about movies that have been reviewed in the pre-rap era. Yes. How do you feel about that concept? that have been reviewed in the pre-rap era.

Yes. How do you feel about that concept? I understand, but we're not going to go back and do all the same movies again. But maybe it means that if one has happened, I just don't think we can talk about the same fucking movies again. Yeah, I don't want to watch it again. I'd watch Princess Diaries again. I watch that like once a month anyway.

What I will say is that in Upon Reflection? Yep. Thank you. You've nailed the timing there. It appears that the Kings, Queens, Princes and Princess movies were actually just all King and Queen movies.

So with that in mind, next week is Princess Week. What about princes? Prince and Princess Week. No? Sorry. Sorry.

Princess Week. Are there any good prince movies? Prince of Egypt. That's a guy, not a movie. That's a movie, isn't it? I don't know. Who's in it? It's a cartoon, I think. Are you thinking of Aladdin? No, it's a movie, isn't it? I don't know. Who's in it? It's a cartoon, I think.

Are you thinking of Aladdin? No, it's a different movie. It's a DreamWorks one, not a Disney one, I think. I'm pretty sure that's a movie. All right, Prince and Princess, but we will include Aladdin. Can we put in a Cinderella story because Sam in that movie wants to go to Princeton? Would that work?

Because we're having trouble here finding Prince movies. Could we do that? I'll consider it. Thank you. But what I'm saying is, is that Princess Diaries will be in there. So don't at me in the comments. It's quite important to me that Cinderella story with Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray is an option because I think if anything

is going to challenge Princess Diaries, I think it might be a Cinderella story. Okay. The reason I'll allow it is because you know how yesterday, was it yesterday? When were we talking about your top three crushes? Last week. Last week. It was the day that we announced Pippa.

Wednesday. Yes, I'm all confused. Yeah, so you said you liked hers and you said your top three hottest people, it was like Travis Barker, Charly Scambino, Pete Davidson. He did get a special mention. So it's extended to top four. Hilary Duff for me is right up there. Hilary Duff's also on my list.

Yeah. Five, top five. Top five. So you know how Hilary Duff has like remarried and she now has like this husband who's in a band called Winnetka Bowling League? I did not know that. So she is married to this guy. He's a muso. I know her house and her kids though because I've watched it on Architectural Digest.

The Architectural Digest. It's a fantastic AD as well. Her house is beautiful. How cool is it that the kids have that massive slide in their room and stuff? Yeah. Anyway, AD chat. But so her new husband, there are photos of him like at his like 18th birthday party or something. And they're like obviously ironically eating cake off like Lizzie McGuire like paper plates and stuff.

And he's like was a big fan of like the show. Is that a bit gross? Had like a high school crush on her or whatever. Is that cool or gross? Well, a high school crush on her or whatever. Is that cool or gross? Well, I think it's kind of sweet. Was Torbs a fan of you, just of your comedy before you guys met? That's why he got in there? You dating a fan?

No, absolutely not. You know, this is a chat for another day, I think. But you know when you get added to a group chat at a later date and you can scroll back up. Yeah. Yeah. I got added to a group chat at uni and there had been some unsavoury things said about me.

In a positive light? No. And they were from Torbs. What? Yeah. What do you mean unsavoury? Like he just said that he thought I was a bitch. What?

Yeah. Because I'm not a good boss. You're his boss. Yeah. So I'd just been an ar thought I was a bitch. What? Yeah, because I'm not a good boss. You're his boss, yeah. So I'd just been an arsehole like one day. I was just like, can you fucking guys please fucking figure this out? And he'd obviously just been like, fuck, like. And now you've been doing him for nine years. Yeah.

Oh, is today the day? No, last Monday. Last week, okay. But you've officially been doing it for nine, together for eight. Yeah. After he badmouthed you in a group chat. Oh, but like it was fucking fair game. I was being an asshole.

Don't be gaslit by him, no. No, I'm not being gaslit. Yeah, he's convinced you. But I saw it and I was like, because we'd started sleeping together and I was like, oh, how interesting. And he was just like, oh, well, I mean, you fucking were a bit on the nose that day. And I was just like, oh, really?

He backed it in. Right. I reckon there's chat in that. on the nose that day and I was just like, oh, really? He backed it in. Right. Okay. I reckon there's chat in that. If you've ever been added to a group chat post-hostumously and you've been able to like go through it, please. Post? Post-hostumous.

It's like after death. But how do you say it? Hostumous. Postumous. Post-hostumous. No, posthumous. Fuck. I'm never going to fucking hear the end of that.

Posthumous. No, posthumous. Fuck. I'm never going to fucking hear the end of that. Posthumous. So, like, for instance, when Heath Ledger won the Academy Award, he won it posthumously. Isn't it? Am I wrong? I just don't know. It's like one of those things, the more you think about it, the more less sense of it.

All right, ready? Posthumous. Posthumous. Posthumous, there you go. Great, thank you, Google. So how good Shrek? Oh, fuck, did we watch that last time? Look, everyone's seen it.

Everyone knows that it's great. It is great, though. Like there's nothing really to talk about with Shrek is there. Isn't there? Well, like it's a great movie. I couldn't believe. Yeah. That it's over 20 years old.

Don't. Does that throw you? I thought, and I mean, obviously it is what it is, but if someone had said, oh, Shrek the original came out five years ago and two came out three years ago, I would have gone, yeah. Checks out. Yeah, makes sense. 20 fucking years.

I know. It's a long time. It's held up so well. Pretty well. Yeah, makes sense. 20 fucking years. I know. It's a long time. It's held up so well. Pretty well. Maybe that's why. And it doesn't feel old. Yeah. Like, it's such a great movie.

It really is. Like, all of it is so fucking good. I love when they're, like, the opening credits, how it's, like, him in the swamp and all the, like, moss comes together to, like, form. I just really, I love it. I just think it's like him in the swamp and all the like moss comes together to like form. I just really, I love it. I just think it's so pretty and nice. It was pretty and nice.

Yeah. How did you go putting a rap together for it? Yeah, really well. Really well. I think. I think I did pretty well. Are we going to find out? Do you want to hear it?

Are we cancelling any further Shrek chat because it's like, they may have done that. And then we talked about group chats. I'm just still fascinated about Torb's filthy mouth. Well, he wasn't, oh, people are going to think he's an arsehole. No. They would never. It wasn't really.

You're ruining his perfect image because all the Tarpers love him. I know. That's why I'm saying he's honestly not an arsehole by any stretch. Like he was just like, fuck, like- Who's this bitch? Yeah. And it wasn't like- I'll tell you who that-

No one ganged up. He was just like, fuck, that was rough today, eh? And I was just like, is this about me? And he was just like, yeah, you're obviously being bitch. Which is fair enough. He's like, who is that bitch? And I'll tell you who that bitch was. The mother of your dog.

I shouldn't have brought that up. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Pippa liked Shrek as well when we watched it yesterday. Really? Yeah. Watching the screen. She loves TV.

Can someone tell me in episode three if dogs can see on phones? Because I'll often see BJ watching the TV if there's dogs on it. Like he'll look and he'll be mesmerized. Yeah. But then I try to show him stuff on my phone and I don't know if he can see it or not. Oh. Like if I try and FaceTime with him and stuff, I don't think he gets it. Oh, but he can hear your voice but not like, oh.

Yeah. Okay. Yep. That's a great question. Answer us. What? Fuck. This is really gone.

I'm going to quickly do the rap so we can get the fuck out of here. Okay, great. Because I think we're going over time. All right. You ready? T-Lodge. Shrek rap. Here, go. Because I think we're going over time. All right, you ready? T-Lodge, Shrek rap. Here we go.

2022. Rapping about Shrek this week on the pod. This movie slaps on my fucking God. Shrek wants to get his swamp back. You know, has to find Fiona. Should have travelled by car. Car. Shrek falls in love with Fiona so quick.

She doesn't want him to see her. Oh, good trick. Of course, his kiss breaks Fiona's curse. Shrek 2 is the opposite of worse. The opposite of worse. You've faked, mate. That's pretty good. Yeah, it's real good.

Yeah, I mean. How good is it? It's the opposite of worse. Better. Which is the opposite of worse. Better, which is the opposite of worse. All right. It's a Monday today. Yep. Your challenge, just to prove that that is everyday speak, is just to casually mention it's the opposite of worse at some time this week.

Easily. In the episode. Easily. In the next four hours. Okay. It's the opposite of worse. Oh, for example. Yeah.

Calamari. You knew I was going to say that, didn't you? For example, salt and pepper calamari. Yeah. For example, chips at the pub. Oh, and a bit of calamari. That's the opposite of worse. That annoyingly could stick.

Yeah. You love to say it. You do love to say that. Hey, I've seen this video that I'm loving to see. Oh, yeah? It's this guy who's got really good at changing grades on your homework. What? For example, if the teacher's written a C,

he shows you how to turn that C into the loop of an A and, like, just change it over. Do you want me to show you? I mean, kind of, but breaking the rules is not really my thing, as you know, so is it a bit naughty? It's more just like if you've got strict parents because, I mean, it's not going to change your grade at the school. Yeah, but just make your mum less mad with you or whatever.

People would never do that. All right. Okay, I'm looking at that. Oh. That's a C plus and then he turns that into a. Oh, my God. That's actually amazing. He turned a 41 into an A plus.

How good's that? That is amazing. He turned a 41 into an A+. How good's that? That is insane. I'll put that in the Facebook group because I'm loving that. That's amazing. Also, my uni results come out Wednesday and I haven't been Googling things of that nature. Oh, yeah. Well, you hope that you've done in your exams the opposite of worse. Yeah, that's what I'm hoping.

Yeah. My love to see it today is that corn is in season. The band? No, corn. Like, on the cob. How good's corn on the cob? How fucking good's corn? I've got an issue with some

people, though. The people that get a knife and cut down the side. Have you seen those fucking corn ribs? What? people though the people that get a knife and cut down the side oh just eat it straight off the fucking corn ribs what put me in the fucking ground if that's what we're doing yeah nah it's like the cauliflower pizza base that's not a planet did you ever ask cauliflower if it wants to be a pizza base or any of the shit it's made to do now no um i'm all about corn as well how do you take it oh so i like buying the corn that still has the husk on it. Yep.

And then I like, because I really enjoy tearing it up. I find it like. It's very satisfying. It's so satisfying. And then Torb's normally like boils it up. And then I put like a little bit of parmesan on it. Really? Like great, really finely a little bit of parmesan and a little bit of salt.

No butter? No. Really? Yeah. It's really good. That is great. I had it like that at a Mexican restaurant we went to and I was like, fuck, that's how we're eating corn, girlfriend.

I'll tell you what's not necessary. What? Some people have those corn holders. You took the words right out of my mouth. They're not the opposite of worse. Yeah, they are worse. They're worse. Yeah, than most things.

Yes. The corn is its own holding vessel, like a burger. Yeah. It's like a banana doesn't need a wrapper. The banana has a natural wrapper. Yeah. And I don't mean like Kanye. I mean like.

Your banana. No. I set myself up there. Sorry. Anyway, so you love to see the corns in season. Sorry for anybody. MC Banana in the house. Oh, mate. Has he been working hard?

Nah, he's just a natural rapper. He goes in fucking trees, mate. That's very funny. Sorry for bringing up that corn's in season if it's not in your country. Oh yeah, that's because it's obviously not the same everywhere, but corn is in season. Oh, you know what I'd love to see?

Summer's almost here. Because it's not everywhere. Yeah. Yeah, thanks. Because that would be the opposite of everywhere. Yeah. Yeah, thanks for that. Because that would be the opposite of worse. Wait. Fuck! Anyway, you love to see all that shit. Can't even remember what we said.

We talked about a lot of stuff. It's going to be in the... Are you okay, man? What's going on? What's happened? Well, we just burned through a lot of topics today and I can't remember any of them. They must have been good though.

Oh, if you've got a great Petty X story, we'd love to hear it. Pop them in the episode thread and we'll share them next week. Keep it coming. But you do love to see it. Thanks for listening and we'll see you tomorrow. Things you can say gaming and also in the bedroom. That's tomorrow. Yeah.

And Ryan's a big gamer. Yeah. I may say things that I don't know what it means. Yeah, okay. You'd normally do. Love you, bye.