Toni and Ryan - Hiding Food From The Kids

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

When ya just need some secret food.... ya secret is safe with us!! Love ya! Toni xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Hello. And we are calling Karina. Karina. Hardly Noah. Nice. Very good. What car do you reckon Karina drives? A Barina.

If you were a stripper, what job would you say you were? An accountant. A cleaner. When you fuck me, where do you put it? In your steamer. In my vagina. Hello. Oh, hello, Karina.

How you doing? God, long time listener, first time top call answerer. Oh, thank you. I was about to say, I hope you don't say caller because we've called you. Yeah, you've misunderstood this. How are you guys? I'm so excited. Oh, we're excited too. Yeah, you've misunderstood this. How are you guys? I'm so excited. Oh, we're excited too.

Yeah, we're good. Whereabouts are you in the world? I'm in Melbourne. Oh, right down the road. We could have just caught up with you. All around the world. Karina. Yeah, I'm literally just like not far from you guys at all.

We should have just caught up for coffee. Yeah, it's gone down there. And in person. An IRL approval. Well, Karina. Go on. Nope. Nope, I wasn't going to say anything.

I just talk a lot. Oh, relatable. I'm used to this scenario. Karina, will you approve today's episode? I think I just might. Yay! Hi, it's Karina from Melbourne and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today, I have to make a...

Happy New Year. Happy New Year, by the way. A formal apology. Oh, no. And I'm sorry to change the tone of the show, but we'll get to that in the second half. We just did the song, the pre-primary stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh. A retraction. Retraction? Yeah. You need to get a teeth pulled out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. A retraction. Retraction? Yeah. You need to get a teeth pulled out. No, that's extraction. Have you seen the extraction, the movie for the Chris Hemsworth movie? No.

Neither. Is that that big one that they were like, oh, on Netflix? Is that that one? I feel like Chris Hemsworth's got a new movie on Netflix every week and I've never seen any of them. And I don't know a single person that has. Good on him, though. But, like, go get it.

Yeah. But also who's watching them. Yeah, I don't know. Oh, it's number one on Netflix again. Okay. Do you think it's one of the, like, it's big in America because he's Australian? But I don't think he plays Australians.

But he is. So there's, oh, that Aussie bloke. That Aussie bloke. You know, that Aussie battler. Yeah. Because, you know, I think that Americans think that in Australia there's four people. And one of them's Chris Hemsworth and one of them's Rove. I don't think Americans know Rove. That was a joke.

Australians don't know Rove in 2004. Thank you so much. When Steve Irwin passed away, I was in America and people, because they thought there's only four people in Australia, you're one of them. Are you all right? Like the condolences I received. I mean, it was a very sad time.

Yeah, don't get me wrong. But I was like. Oh, he wasn't my dad or uncle or something. Do you need time off for the funeral? Like, you know, are you going home? Are you going back? Yeah. Wow.

I think I'll stay. I'll stay. I'll be okay. I'll be right. I agree with my own way. Yeah, thanks for everyone who sent through their normal and asked the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. Let's start with Mackenzie. Oh my god, that's crazy. My love to see it today is from Kenzie. I wonder if it's the same person. Macca! Yeah, big Macca.

Mackenzie says, I can remember the name of every single dog I've ever met, but I also forget the names of 99% of new people I meet. Am I normal or nah? Well, nah. Because I definitely. Well, nah, because I definitely, I don't like it when people say they're bad with names. I'm like, nah, you're an asshole. I'm bad with names. You're an asshole.

Because like if you meet someone and they tell you their name and then you meet them again and you go, oh, sorry, I'm just so bad with names. I'm like, no, no, no, you haven't committed my name to memory and that's fine. You not remembering is fine but just say, oh, I'm so sorry, I've forgotten your name. Well, what's the difference? Because blaming it on just like being bad with names is like, oh, I'm just not good at that thing.

It's like, no, no, no, you could be good at that thing but you've decided that that's like not a priority. And like it's like anything. It's fine that it's not a priority for you. Does it make a difference if I have a chat with someone for five minutes, I meet them at a fucking university or whatever? Yeah. I won't remember their name.

Fine. I'll remember what they're studying. I'll remember what town they grew up in. I'll remember like some story they told me. I'll remember like literally every other detail. Oh, you had that dog, right? Name? Nah.

Why is that? Besides being an asshole, obviously. But I think it's just because for you like the other stuff is more important and that's like what you're good at. Important or just interesting to me at the time? Yeah, I guess either. Because I'm interested in what people do, but I guess names are just names. I don't find it interesting.

Yeah, but I just don't like it when people go, oh, I'm so bad with names. Like, no, no, no, no. Like, just say, I've forgotten your name. I just think it's such a crutch that people go, oh, like. I think the mature thing to do, obviously, is to not say either and just pretend that you still were and just ignore it and wait for someone else to mention it. Yeah.

Drop a few champs, drop a few mates. Yeah. Hey, how have you been since I saw you last? You can get away with not knowing someone's name. Oh, you can get away mention it. Yeah. Drop a few champs, drop a few mates. Yeah. Hey, how have you been since I saw you last? You can get away with not knowing someone's name. Oh, you can get away with it. I'm just saying I think that the excuse of being like, oh, I'm so bad with names is just like shitty. I'm like, no, no, no.

Because have you ever been in a situation where like someone has forgotten your name and you've figured out that they don't know your name, whether it's because they've said, I'm bad with names, I've forgotten your name, whatever, and it's like awkward for you rather than awkward for them even though they're the one that forgot. Yeah, then you help the brother out. No, no, no. So I was talking to mum and mum was like, yeah, Ryan,

can you grab that thing? And I was like, yeah, cool. Well, I obviously couldn't do that. Yeah, I mean you could try a different tact. Yeah. And mum said. And then they still don't know my name. Yeah.

What's the point of that? Tony. And then they go, Tony. Tony, that's right. But yeah. And then they go, oh, nice to meet you again. Tony. Mum.

That's how she says it. Ryan, arsehole. Cool. I remember the dogs more than the human, especially the dog park. I wouldn't remember a dog, like, that I randomly met. Really? No, I don't think so. But I'm pretty good with detail, but, like, I don't remember every dog.

No, you are good with names, though. You are good with names. I just have a good memory. But also because it's important to me. It's just something that I think about. But so if you go to the dog park and you meet other dogs or Pippa goes and goes, oh, you go, what's his name? Then next time you go to the park, you go, oh, look, it's little fucking whatever.

Oh yeah, I would do that. Yeah. But I don't remember, like I wouldn't walk down the street and go, oh, there's Spot. You know, or whatever. Insert dog name, you know. Spoiler alert, they find him at the end of the book. Yeah.

All 25 of them, yeah. Let's go to Rachel Karaluzzi. Hi, Rachel. My boyfriend buys those scratchy lotto tickets. But instead of playing the game and revealing the numbers, he just scratches off the area with the scannable code and hands it back to the place. And they're like, boop, and it's like winner or not winner.

It feels sacrilegious, says Rachel. Is this normal non-serial killer behaviour or nah? Nah. No way. Isn't the whole fun of the game that it's a game? Why buy a scrap, just buy a lotto ticket? Like do a different thing. Oh, but even the lotto ticket, sometimes you can like go

through the numbers and see if you got it. Oh, so I probably, I wouldn't do that. Right. I also couldn't tell you the last time I had like a paper lotto ticket. Yeah. It's all online now, baby. Yeah. But isn't the fun of a scratchy that you scratchy it? Yeah. It's all online now, baby. Yeah. But isn't the fun of a scratchy that you scratchy it?

Yeah. It's like, imagine going to a masseuse and they just give you a printout that says you were massaged. Right? Yeah. Or you go to a sporting game and they just go, oh, Lakers win by 13. You go, oh. Oh, great. Cool. Oh, now I don't

need to watch. The fun is the thrill of being like, oh, two number threes and a five or whatever. I just need one supplementary away and I could get $17. Yeah. Oh, I've got six of the little money bags. Oh, and a chicken wing. Oh, you know how it's always like random things.

Yeah, and don't they love to string you along? When you need three of them, they'll give you two straight up and you're like, oh, we're on here. We're on here. Yeah. And so for a second you think you could're on here. We're on here. Yeah. And so for a second, you think you could win some money. You think you've done it. And that's what you're paying for, that feeling that you could win.

I just don't know why you would buy a scratchy to not scratch it. Yeah. Yeah. How do they make those? Like what material is it? This old guy just jizzes on it. Oh. You haven't met Carl?

If anyone knows how to actually make them, and I hope I'm wrong. Well, I can almost guarantee you are. Stephanie, normal or nah, stopping for fast food or gas station snackies on your way home, then eating them in the car and hiding the wrappers before you get to your house

because you don't want to share your snackies with your spouse, children or dogs. Normal or nah? I think that you should answer this one. That's very accusatory language. Yes, normal. Normal for you. Not normal for me, not because I don't do it, but because I, like, get excited and I go, oh, I'll get that for Torbs and I.

Like, if I ever stopped at the server or something, I would buy, like, two Magnums so that both of us could have an ice cream when I got home. Yeah. Like, I would never, ever hide it from him ever. Yeah. I always do, like, a surprise coffee or iced coffee on the way home for Bridge, but there's a few things where I'm like, oh, no, no.

She wouldn't want one of those. I'll take care of that. I didn't want to hear about the fact that I had it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I just let that slide. I do understand also you can't have a treat when you've got kids. Because they're like, oh, I really want that. Yeah, get out.

It'd just be way easier if I had to hoof this down in the car and they never knew anything else. I think there's definitely something to be said about a private treat in the car if you then get, like, if that's your, like, quiet time, then I'm like, oh, I'll rate that. But I don't personally do it. Pippa's like, oh, where's my Magnum? How would she go with a Magnum?

Well, no, because chocolate. Do you know dogs can't have avocado? Yes. Yeah, so Bron is a very, my dog, very well behaved, but he's also being very convenient because he's, like, literally cleaning up after Mabel now. Oh, so everything that, like, splats on the ground. She's just throwing shit everywhere and it's a game and it's fun.

Yeah. And then at the end it's like, Bron, come take care of this. And he's like, and he knows, like, you don't come over until he's invited and stuff. And then he huffed down, like, some, a bit of meat and there was like a bit of banana, which I was like, I don't know if you'd like that, but I mean, go for it. And then he ate some avocado and Bridget's like, oh, no, no, no.

Like the dogs can't have avocado. No. Yeah. Same with grapes, onion, so bad for dogs. Yeah, he wouldn't have onion. Because he's got taste, obviously. But you know how some people are like, oh, we had leftover spaghetti and we gave some to the dog. And I'm like, you can't do that. Yeah, he wouldn't have onion. Because he's got taste, obviously. But you know how some people are like, oh, we had leftover spaghetti and we gave some to the dog.

And I'm like, you can't do that. Grapes, though, that's like a bullet for a dog. What do you mean a bullet? Kill them. Oh. I thought you meant to go straight through. Well, maybe. What would happen if they ate a grape?

They die. What are you not understanding about what a bullet does? Is it the sugars and stuff or just the way they digest it? They ate a grape. They die? No, but like. What are you not understanding about what a bullet does? Is it the sugars and stuff or just the way they digest it? A grape is just like one of the worst things they can have. Yeah, right. Fuck. Because grapes get dropped on the floor at our place all the time.

Yeah, like real ripe. I mean, BJ would probably have, because he's bigger, he'd probably have a bit more time. If people looked at a grape, dead. Dead. Straight away. See ya. See ya. I think, because Bron's not grape, dead. Dead. Straight away. See ya. See ya.

I think, because Bron's not alike, he won't eat until invited. Yeah. So he won't just go, oh, food. Yeah. Where some dogs are just like, what do you know, food. Pippa's not like food crazy, eh? No, even like yesterday we were having lunch on the couch. Think back to the last moment. Private lunch of salad.

Tony and I had a business meeting, yeah, with salads. But like, and I always say to people like, oh, like a little sniff is okay, but then that's like enough. And then she'll just sit down. Yeah. Because I'm like, oh, it's natural to be curious. Yeah. What's going on up there?

You guys seem to be enjoying that salad. Salad business. Yeah. I'm not allowed avocado. Yeah. Yeah. Annie Pets. Hi'm not allowed avocado. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Annie Pets.

Hi, Annie Pets. Oh, we were just talking about our pets. Normal or nah? Immediately needing to shit after cleaning your toilet. This happens every fucking time. I clean the toilet. It smells great. Looks amazing.

Fresh. And the tummy goes, well, we'll see about that. And let's just pop a squat on the toilet and give it a, hang on, watch. Oh, God. Sorry, just Annie's got very graphic and I'm editing in real time. Yeah, okay. Basically what she's saying. Fuck.

I hate to paraphrase that. Annie, fuck. What she's saying is it's like her body knows and it's like, oh, we'll see about that. Yeah. I mean, hack, don't clean your toilet. No, just kidding. Yeah, the easiest way to avoid this problem.

It's always like right before you've got guests or someone's about to come over and then you go, oh, I'll just give that a little tidy. And then you go, ooh. And it's not just like the dirtiness of the toilet, but like the smell. And you're like someone's about to come over and like, you know, or if you're waiting for an electrician and you wait until the very end and you go, I've just got to go. And then they knock on the door and you're like, no.

I should have gone an hour ago when I thought about this. Yeah. But is it, do you reckon people know, like they knock on the door and have to wait four minutes. you walk out like drying your hands and you're like, G'day, mate, and they're like, you've just been shitting. Well, they would have to know. Yeah.

But you're in my house. Like I shouldn't feel bad about that. Yeah, yep. You know. But here we are. You do, naturally, I think, yeah. I stand by not cleaning the toilet, honestly. Yeah, no, I'll stand by that as well.

I'll stand by that as well. I'll stand by that as well. Hey, it's Karina from Melbourne, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. You can check out our Patreon. Oh, sorry, tapas, Tony and Brian podcast. You can check out the Patreon at any time. These guys hopefully were part of our Super Bowl livestream that we did on Monday, which was a great success.

Was it a great success? I mean, was what we were doing during the livestream a great success, which was making Super Bowl-themed pizzas? Yeah. Well, yours looked just like Taylor Swift. Thank you. And I've always said that. Yours did look like a football.

Yeah. I asked if I should tell Tony to go along and throw the pizza football, and it was a... Inside my home. A resounding no. Yeah. Thank God. Which is a surprise.

Usually the champions are down for chaos and disaster. No, I don't think they are. They've grown up. I think you just remember what you want to remember. Yeah, we'll see. Kira Howden, thank you so much, Kira. Samuel Pritchett, Ella Pollard, Samantha McGowan, and Ali Bonner. I hardly know her.

Thank you. Thanks, Ali. Ollie, I meant Ali. We're both rattled, and I am rattled today because I have an apology to make. Yeah, you started this off on the wrong foot, I feel. Yeah, and I'm rattled. And you now need to go to the dentist, is it, for an extraction? I believe so.

Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen that movie with Chris Hemsworth? God, he's good, isn't he? He's number one in Netflix. Yeah. He's Australian. Is he?

Yeah. What I will say- Just like Rove. Who's Rove? I. Yeah. He's Australian. Is he? Yeah. What I will say. Just like Rove. Who's Rove? I don't know who that is. I think there's a scene in that movie, but it could be one of the other 18 ones he's done. Extraction?

Yeah. I thought you hadn't seen it. I haven't. But I think there's this scene where it's like, like it's a. Hang on. No, no, no, no, no. I haven't seen it.

Oh, there's a scene in it. Yeah. I haven't seen the scene, but I've heard about the scene because it's one of those. Well, if it's not a scene and you haven't seen it, then it's nothing because you haven't seen it. I don't understand. So it's a 17-minute action sequence, one take, like a one shot.

Sick. That is cool. Oh, yeah, welcome. Yeah, I haven't seen it, though. Yeah. Yeah. It's like 17-minute action sequence, one take, like a one shot. Sick. That is cool. Oh, yeah, welcome. Yeah, I haven't seen it, though. Yeah. Yeah. It's like in True Detective. Like, a lot of that show was, like, single shot.

Really? Yeah. That just freaks me out. Yeah. And Birdman? Because imagine getting to the end when it's like, and then I just. And then you're the asshole that everyone has to retake for. All right, from the top.

And it's like, fuck. Have you seen Birdman? No. That whole film is, like, three hours long and it's three takes. Really? Yeah. That 1917, that war film, it's one continuous shot for the whole movie. Is it?

Yeah. Well, there's that one bit where he gets knocked out and kind of wakes up in the middle. Really? Yeah. That's insane. It's crazy watching it. I love that. Yeah.

It's insane. Okay. Movie chat aside. A few weeks ago, Tony said, I have some thoughts to share about some of the logistics of a specific part of a local shopping center. And this was off air. And Tony goes, oh, you know, should I tell this story? And I said, we've got tapas from all around the world. I don't know if they're going to care about some of the logistics

of a specific part of a local shopping centre. And in the actual, when we talked about it on the podcast, you said no one's going to be able to relate to that. Kylie on TikTok. Hi, Kylie on TikTok. I have no idea what or where Doncaster is, but I felt this in my soul. Oh, I thought that was going to go another way then. You, Tony, speak that rage for all of us.

Thank you, Kylie on TikTok. Aurora on Instagram. Hi, Aurora on Instagram. I live in another continent and don't even drive a car. Not looking good. But I felt this to my core. Oh, another one? Thought it was going the other way.

Jade Melissa on Instagram said, Ryan said this was too niche, but I think not niche enough. I work at Doncaster. Oh, beautiful. Tony, I want you to do a review of the staff parking at Doncaster. Spoiler alert, it's a fucking joke. Do you reckon that the JB Hi-Fi at Doncaster would hire me so then I could review the staff parking

at Doncaster, Westfield? Maybe that would be a good idea. It's a great idea to conduct the review, but going from Jade Melissa's original review, I reckon you wouldn't like it. Oh, because I wouldn't be able to park there. Now, apparently after the first few years they've done renovations to add more staff parking because when they originally built the centre and someone said,

hey, bro, there's like three staff car parks for the whole shopping centre, the centre management said, and I quote, staff can catch a bus. When I worked in a shopping centre, there wasn't any staff parking anyway. You just had to pay. And is it usually like $1 for three hours, $3 for five hours, but seven hours plus is like $45.

Sometimes. They really fucking sink. It's like who's working for who here? Well, also like, oh, there's an hour or two of my wage gone, depending on how long your shift is. But, yeah, and like it was just free-for-all parking and you just, like, hoped that you get a spot. It's wild out there.

It is. It's cowboy world in retail car parks. And I've always said that. I, Ryan John Dunn, would like to make an apology to Tony, Felicia, Louise, Dr. Arthur, Dr. Tony Lodge. Who? No, Tony. I'm not saying that again.

We'll run out of time. Look at the time. You were correct. I was wrong. It turns out people do care about some of the logistics of a specific part of our local shopping centre. I think it's just a universal like hatred feeling of knowing exactly what that's like, no matter where in the world you are.

Now, there are some, I feel like most of our tapas were all on the same level, but it turns out we've got some billionaires listening to this show. What? Jessica Biel. Jessica Biel. She's come back onto the scene. Tash says, if I'm going to Doncaster, I just save up and use the valet. I lost my car there once when my son was a newborn and I've been traumatized ever since.

So now I let them park it for me. Yep. And then I replied to Tash on Instagram and said, why don't you just fucking catch a helicopter instead? Yeah. You rich bitch. That is fair. fucking catch a helicopter instead, you bitch bitch. Yeah, that is fair. That's a fair statement from you. Valet at a shopping centre is like when you don't know what it is,

which I don't really know what it is. I don't either. It seems like the most hilarious, ridiculous, stupidest thing of all time. Well, do you step out in your Gucci suit and walk the red car? Like, well, then where do you go? Then you'll go to Kmart. Well, yeah. But I don't know how I've never done valet because, again,

also don't really understand it. I feel like they'd laugh me right out of there. Like I feel like if I went up there and was like, hey, can you park my car, they'd go, no. But what, so they take your car and then they have to find a park for you? And then you come back and you go, I want to leave. And they go, where's my car? And they go, fuck.

I don't know. It's three hours to get a park. I'll have to go find it. And then they go find it somewhere. Or is there, there must be designated valet spots. So they go, we've got 200 spots dedicated to. 200? No wonder no one else can find a pass.

That's just like a hyperbole. Either way, if valet's taken up space, so you put the valet space, then you put the fucking car wash. No wonder there's no real car parks left. But how much would it cost to, I actually don't know how much it costs, but I've seen, you know, when you drive past and they've got the sign of like, oh, where you park your car and find a spot and whatever, they take your shopping up there.

Like, so if you're going and doing, like, say it was, what did we say last week? It was Christmas time or something. You were doing heaps of shopping or like you wanted to do all your shopping and then maybe go and see a movie, but you didn't want to take your bags with you. They take it up to your car. So you drop it at the desk and go, can you just go put that in the Audi? And they go, yeah. Or maybe at the shop you go, oh, I'm parked in the valet, and they go, cool, I'll get that taken care of. I shouldn't even need to take it out of the store.

No, I don't think so. I don't like that because then you can't pretty woman people. Yeah. Then they see you walking back to valet empty-handed like, yeah, you poor bitch. Yeah, you couldn't afford anything. Well, you probably can't afford anything. You just spend all your money on valet.

You spend the money on the valet. What I also like. Also, just calling it a valet is so embarrassing. I think it's really. Like the word valet, I'm just like, oh, yeah, I'm parked in the valet. I always, when we drive off, I go, oh, Bridget, should we park with the valet? And she goes, oh, Brian.

And I go, oh, yeah. Oh, good. Similar response from you. Yeah. What I did like to say, though, even though I felt like it was too niche for the global tarpers, was the amount of Doncaster local residents getting up in the comments being like, hey, Tony, totally get it. If you go up the mezzanine, then turn left, there's a secret part

around here, blah, blah, blah. Don't you fucking shut your mouth. Shut your hecking mouth because I've hit the mother load on this. This is what I want to talk about, gatekeeping of spots. Yeah. Because I thought it was a really nice, like, community vibe and people were trying to help Tony out and, you know, maybe helping people out is like a good thing.

But Tony would disagree and no one disagrees more than my wife, Bridget. Now, we called Bridget after we were talking about it, I think, the other day and we called her and she goes, oh, yeah, I'm at Doncaster. And you were like, oh, did you go to park? She's like, well, I've got my spot. Yeah, she had a little. A little spot. And so when everyone was sharing, because there's nothing I love more

than seeing my wife like comment something because she never fucking does it. Yeah. And then she goes, oh, I've got a great spot. And I was like, oh, why don't you put it in the episode Oh, I've got a great spot. And I was like, Oh, why don't you put in the episode? Everyone else is sharing their spot. And she was like, no,

absolutely not doing that. I was like, okay, fair enough. You want to keep it to yourself? Maybe just share it with Tony and Bridget's like, no, fair enough.

No, no, I don't trust me either. Yeah. I got a lot of private, so there was a lot of comments on the Tik TOK and the Instagram and on our episode thread and our Facebook group. Um,

but we got a lot of private DMS on, um, both Instagram and Patreon that were like, hey, Tony, I'll hook you up. Like I know the spot. And so there were people. Is it an area or one specific spot? Oh, no, it's like if you hang a right here, chuck a left, go up three stories and then whatever.

It was just one singular spot. Could you imagine them turning up and there's an outie there? And there's a huge line. Fuck, Tony. Yeah, and I go, oh, no, that's not mine. Damn it, Tony. And then I went to Doncaster the other day with my sister and she was like, I'll drive us.

And I was like, thank God. And then I've read all these DMs, right, of all those people go, oh, yeah, hang a right, turn left, jump up and down three times and a spot will appear. And I go, oh, where do you park? She goes, I've got a spot. And I was like, Libby, where is it? Did you drop a middle name?

Yeah, I did because I was that impressed. That's how impressed. That's Tony's worked up. And she, like, does this. I'm not obviously redacted for the – extracted, sorry, for the podcast. Oh, God, Chris Hemsworth's taken my spot. Oh, Rive was there. And then she goes up this thing and up this spot and around this hoo-ha,

and I go, well, where are we? And she goes, this is my spot. And I went, Libby. Libby Ann. Oh, Libby Ann. Oh, my God. And, yeah, we got this great spot straight in, and it was a Saturday midday.

Are you joking? Not even kidding. Prime time. Prime time for parking at a Westfield, any Westfield ever. Bridget was going to go to the Westfield last Saturday. It was about 11. She goes, I might go up now. And I was like, at 11 on a Saturday?

You were a crazy woman? Yeah. You psychopath. Are you joking yourself? Yeah. I'll never see you again. Yeah. You won't find parking till tomorrow.

Have you got your will in order? Yeah, literally. Do you want to say goodbye to Mabel? Yeah, does your life insurance cover this? But, yeah, so people are, yeah, very protective of their little inside knowledge. And I like it. Someone else commented on that and were like, oh, I grew up in Doncaster

so I've got a spot and I won't share it. And I was like, fucking Nepo babies. Isn't it? Born into wealth. You're born into the area. You're born into the area and you just know. It's like an MCC membership. Yeah, you need to sign up before you're born.

Before you're born. Yeah. Oh, that's like getting. I don't want to get into a new area. Good year for me though on the MCC membership. Very Melbourne chat. Very Melbourne chat. It's like the day childcare.

Oh, I can't even imagine. It's why we don't have kids. Sorry, sir. Too stressful. Are you about to come inside her? Well, before you do, I'm actually going to need you to fill out these forms if you want that kid to get into daycare before they turn 18. Are you hoping to potentially get pregnant from this interaction of sexual intercourse?

Is this like a love one or like a productive one? Because if you're thinking about it, I would get on now. Yeah, I would sign here and I go, yeah, okay, hang on a second. Bridge, stay right there. I'm close. And she goes, what? Yeah, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, what kind of food will they want at lunch? Are they dairy okay? Yeah, do you think they'll be vegan? Yeah, okay, right, okay. So our friend got a call the other day going, oh, thanks for being on the wait list. We've got a spot open. She goes, my child's in grade one.

Because that was a friend of yours who like then couldn't go to daycare because they just couldn't get in, right? Yeah. No. So she's like, I guess I just won't go back to work. So I think to sum this all up. Get in early. I'm pro gatekeeping, I think. Yeah, I think you have to be. Yeah Get in early. I'm pro gatekeeping.

Yeah. I think you have to be. Yeah. These days. In this economy. What do you love to see, Tony Lodge? I've got to love to see you here from Kenzie, who I'm not sure if it's. Another Kenzie.

I'm not sure if it's the same one. But Kenzie sent this through on Facebook. Not on Facebook. Sorry. On Patreon. Says, hi, guys. It feels really weird messaging you for the first time because we feel like we're old friends. Yeah.

But I wanted to share some exciting news with the community. Please. My partner of four years and I just got engaged while on vacation in Hawaii. Just missed you, Tony. Beautiful. What, the partner with the ring? Congratulations, Kenzie. Congratulations on the engagement.

It was our first big vacation together, and the two of us saved up for this vacation of a lifetime, which I rate. I think that's really, really cool. Saving up for it's good instead of using your colleague's work card. Oh, well, let's all buy lotto tickets and fucking whatever else. Little did I know it would be even more special when he popped the question a few days before Christmas.

Oh, that's nice. Now, there's a little bit pointed editorial here from Kenzie. Okay, right on. The wedding's going to be in May 2025, and, Tony, I would never ask you to marry us because I know how that's gone in the past, but I would love to get your guys' approval for the nuptials. So, Kenzie, we approve your engagement.

Do we know his name? Don't know the partner's name. I approve the partner's name. We approve your engagement. Do we know his name? Don't know the partner's name. I approve the partner's name. We approve your marriage. Yeah, approved. And engagement. Enjoy. Yeah, congratulations.

How exciting. That is exciting. How is the marriage celebrant stuff going? It's not. I got a lot on. I got a lot. You love to see it. Why are you being nasty today? I'm in a bad mood. I don't know why. It's because I've had to do an apology. I got a lot on. I got a lot. You love to say it. Why are you being nasty today?

I'm in a bad mood. I don't know why. It's because I've had to do an apology. I'm rattled. That's not my fault. No. Don't say things that you think you might regret if you don't want to be in a bad mood. Then I won't say anything.

Well, then fucking get it together, mate. Shut that mouth. This will put me in a good mood and everyone else in a good mood. I get you love to say it, guys. Nice. Yeah, what is it? My daughter's walking. Mabiela. That's her old My daughter's walking. Mabiela.

That's her old Italian name. Mabiela. Mabel, first it was like we would give her a little push and then she'd take a few steps before she fell over. I feel like she's getting three or four steps in before she sits down now. She's doing that thing that babies do when they like... It's really... It's cute though.

So what we'll do at the moment is I'll like stand her up. Cause standing, she's like been nailing that for a while, but I'll stand her up. She should do that cute little like sway, you know, that boat, they're up, but they're like not sure yet. Yeah, there's a bit of that. And then, so what I'll do is I'll stand her up and then like lean her back against the wall. Yep.

And then I'll sort of go, you know. Then you shuffle across the room. I get three or four metres away and I'm like, come to dad. And then she'll kind of like, oh, and then you do that little sway and go, am I doing this? Am I doing this? And then. And they like stomp their little feet.

Yeah. And then waddles. And that's the thing. It's not like a smooth step. It's. Oh, it's slapping the floor. Yeah. And then, and then she gets the three or four steps and then she gets within like what I

call launching distance and then just like throws the arms up and goes, whoo! Someone better catch me! The faith she has in Bridget, myself and the dog who doesn't have opposable thumbs or the ability to catch humans. I don't know what him opening a door has to do with it, but sure. But so she'll just launch and she's like Well I'm launching You better catch me Yeah someone better be here Yeah

She's in the playpen by herself And she's like Where is everyone I'm hitting the ground Tomorrow No that's so exciting Yeah nah She's loving it sick

And she just looks So proud of herself as well She knows it She knows what she's doing Yeah she does She really can turn it on She knows Because Tony's copped A few text messages with videos in them going like,

does this count? I love it so much. The first one that you sent of her, of the does this count? Yeah. And I watched that so many times and I was like, she's walking. Yeah. Like, ooh. I remember when.

Nah, I won't say that. Go on. It was just a reference to before with the... Just before you... Sign the form. Sign the form. Yeah. Yeah.

Sorry. But you know the downside of them walking? What? Is that they're walking. They're walking. Yeah. And they're up. Like, up and about.

She can reach... I think she's, like, tall. She is long. Because she's growing. You know, how do you call babies long instead of tall up until a certain point? But like so she can reach it that's like up on the table. So coffees aren't safe. Remotes aren't safe.

Like just absolutely nothing. If she sees a phone, she turns into a psychopath. So if you leave your phone like on the coffee table or the couch, she'll just like go and grab that. She's FaceTiming everyone. The amount of times I've been unstacking the dishwasher and found her almost in the dishwasher because she's walked over to it and then climbed up.

When it's down, then she'll climb up into it. And you're like, whoa! And you're like, whoa, I don't know. What's the weight limit on this thing? You know how the actual thing's like? It can hold her. I don't know how long for. Yeah.

Because that wouldn't be a very nice drop. I'm guessing it wouldn't hold me. I don't think. So somewhere between Mabel's weight and your weight. Your weight is the limit for a dishwasher door. A Fisher and Parkle dishwasher door. I wonder if they test that. I mean, there would be a weight, a load limit, because it's also when you stack the dishwasher

because it is on top of the door. Yeah. So there would be a limit there too. Like if you had heaps of La Crusoe, like heavy bottom pots, you'd be like, well, I can't just. Anyway. We're not buying La Crusoe, mate. I'm busy saving up for a valet.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Anyway, we're back tomorrow for a Friday with a video show. A video show tomorrow. And I think after tomorrow's show, you'll either love your partner even more and just appreciate them or consider being single. Nothing in between. Drastic.

Nothing in between. All right, we'll chat to you then. Love you, bye.