Toni and Ryan - High Tea Hijinks

Episode Date: August 20, 2024

Though I think it's actually 'afternoon tea', our bad lol xoxoxox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Josh from the UK in London and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the show. Still in London, still at the Airbnb. They still haven't invented air conditioners so the balcony door is still open. We're across the road from a primary school and I believe it is time to play soccer during the lunch break. Yeah, and there's literally a million ambulances and police is going past at all times. Yep. So, welcome to the On The Road show on the road.

I actually kind of love it, though. Same. And I don't think, like, when I was editing the episodes, like, it actually sounds real sick. Yeah? Like, I think it might sound better than our normal episodes. Oh, good, because I actually can't pay the lease on our building anymore. Oh, good. Good.

We'll just live in this Airbnb forever. We've had to give up the lease on Tarp Tower because Tony saw an e-bike and has decided to buy one. In a shock that will surprise no one no i didn't just see what well i've seen lots but i rode one yeah once yeah and you were like i'm fucking and actually i i'm like being fucking a dick about it but like actual great call yeah i think it's really good yeah and i've written down all the things that i could ride to because I was like, look, am I just like, am I just on holiday? Like, have I got the holiday brain?

But like the haze. Yeah. But I think that I would use it at home. I reckon I'd ride to Pilates and stuff. I actually agree. It would be fantastic. And that actually leads us into what we want to talk about today. Why is it that us humans find a new level of confidence

whenever we're in another country? Oh, what did you call me? You do stuff away that you would never do at home. You consider stuff when you're away that you would never consider at home. Do you remember- E-bikes, for example. E-bikes are a great one. I reckon as well like when you're

packing before you go away traveling you always go i would never wear that at home but oh i'll definitely wear that while i'm abroad i'm yet to wear that but i reckon this trip is the time i busted out do i like is this the first time i wear this matching set or whatever? Yeah. And I don't know what it is, but it just like, it's amazing. Bridget's had that with like swimwear. She's like, oh, I'm not sure. Like I bought like some new swimwear that's a bit out there. Yep. And she's like, oh, I wouldn't wear it.

But then you go away and it's like, it's time. What do you think? Do you think it's that like there's less risk of running into somebody you know? Or do you think it's just that you're like, oh, the normal me is at home? Yeah. You know who you are in your surrounds, but you don't know London Tony yet.

But like don't you think it's such like a limiting belief? Absolutely. I believe that at home I can only be XYZ person, but here in London I am the best version I've ever been of myself. Tony is actually in real good form this week. I am. I've got a blocked nose still from the plane. Yep.

But aside from that, I feel like, because I don't feel, I feel great. I just sound a bit stuffy. Tony has never been wetter for life. I've gotten so wet this week. Literally and figuratively you've been wetter for life. I've gotten so wet this week. Literally and figuratively, you've been swimming daily. Yep. But I think it's the vibe that is wet. The wet for life energy, which is what is required whenst overseas.

So you know what could be my like overseas crazy thing? What? I get crazy like before you go to the is the camden markets like a bit hippie like a bit alternative and a bit cool yeah camden is like like the cool market like it's where all the goth stuff is oh yeah so because when i came to london with mom when i was younger that was the only thing i wanted to do because they sold like heaps of music stuff because you were like a goth little teen. Yeah, little emo girl.

Yeah. So I feel like if I was at a market and there was someone selling a jacket that had 75 different colours on it, I would buy that in London. I don't know if I would buy that at home, although my sweater choice would maybe argue. No, you've done a lot of colour here. You've also been swimming a lot. Thank you.

Thank you. Damp for life, budgie You've also been swimming a lot. Thank you. Thank you. Damp for life, budgie smuggler, getting a workout. For those playing along at home, I've been swimming in a fluoro pink and light baby blue budgie smuggler. It's very good. And we know where you've been because you come home and you sit on the couch. Yeah.

And we get like damp little butt. I'm leaving butt prints everywhere. So, Tony and I have set ourselves a challenge. I think you listening, are you like nodding your head going, I kind of understand this phenomenon that you're talking about? So we have tried to come up with a name. We want to come up with like can we coin a term for this phenomenon? It just needs to encapsulate the vibe.

Yeah, because I think we all know what we're talking about. I surely. But it needs a name. Because remember when I said chow in Sydney that time? And we all fucking lost our minds. Like, honestly, that's this. Yeah. This is what we're talking about.

But when you said chow in Sydney that day, it was like all of Sydney and its five million residents just went and just stopped for a second. Everyone just went, what? And you even, you went, who am I in Sydney? Ciao. What? Yeah. Who am I in Sydney?

Do I say ciao in Sydney? Ciao Melbourne Tony is what I should have said. Is there any others that come to mind? Any other things that I've done? Yeah. In any other destination that just is like not Tony energy? Well, I'm like a lot more fearless like and I just am like running without being a slave to the clock, I feel.

Yeah, so Tony woke up this morning when she was done sleeping, not to an alarm. No alarm. Then she went for a swim and didn't come in to say, oh, what time do I need to be back? She just went and just came back at some time. I had a green juice. Yeah.

I had my smoothie, heated up some pizza from like four days ago. I'm literally living my best life. I hope my family's not listening. They're like, oh, so. If you were to write a second book, which I know you're not going to do, but hypothetically, if you were to write a second book. I probably could in London. second book which i know you're not gonna do but hypothetically if you were to write a second i probably could in london oh i think i could probably tap it out before the week's end

but we've got a long flight home you're true yeah um for don't say things you regret first of all because chow is not a regret that was awesome uh but writing a book because you yeah um what i was gonna say though is would chow get a whole chapter? I think it would have to. Or would that just be called Chow? And maybe the chapter will be called whatever we decide right now. Oh, okay. Maybe that could be the book.

This is what it's going to be called. Just a whole book on all the cool shit you've done, like, sporadically overseas. Sporadically overseas. All right. Now, did you have a method to your madness of coming up with names? So I've got two options. One that I know that you will like because it's got a bit of your energy.

Is it got alliteration? Because all mine have alliteration. Both of mine have alliteration because I know my audience. Okay. However. But all three of mine do because I know me. Oh, okay. Well, I've got two.

I've got one that I think will win the competition. So I'm going to do that one last. Yeah, good call. Good call. My first one, though, that I think that will be a bit of you, Ryan. Do we need a drum roll or something? No, no drum rolls. We're cool and laissez-faire here.

Living La Vida Lodger. And that's not the one that is going to win? No. I love that this is a term that all people around the world can use and you've inserted your own name into it. This one was a bit more for you because I didn't feel like it would be the one that would actually like go viral on the ticky-tocky. No, but like if it's going to go viral,

it's like when an artist signs the bottom of a piece of art. Yeah. This is you just signing off your term. This is just my little stamp. Living La Vida Lodger. going to go viral like it's like when an artist signs the bottom of a piece of art yeah this is you just signing off your terms just my little stamp leaving living levita lodger yeah i thought you'd like that i do love that yeah that is incredible yeah now i regret not putting my name into mine yeah that's stupid you've really missed an opportunity i've really let down my you're not good in london you're off you're're off in London. My commitment to personal branding is soft in London. You're not thinking long term.

Okay. I'm going to use mine in a sentence. Okay. Tony's got that globetrotting gusto about her. Oh, that's good. You like that? I like the term gusto. It's a good term, isn't it?

Yeah, it is good. Let me- Should I just do all of my three because your one's going to win at the end? Yep. I'm backing one in to win. Tony's got that foreigner's flair about her. Foreigner or foreign flair?

Foreign flair. We'll accept foreign flair. Now, this is my favourite. It could be a bit – That one just could get a bit mistaken for affair. Foreign affair. Like, she's off fucking other dudes in another country. Is she?

No. Does she want to be? Women only. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Look out, Sophie. You guys are sharing a bathroom. We are sharing a bathroom.

I made the comment before that my toothbrush has seen Sophie's boobs. And then I had to have a conversation with HR. Yeah. And can I just make a note? I don't know if you want this on the record, Tony, because again, the evidence is mounting that it's not good. But is it true or false? Did you say something inappropriate similar to that to Sophie during the day and said, well, because of the time zone,

it's not business hours for HR in Australia, so what the fuck are you going to do about it? I didn't say what the fuck you're going to do about it. What did you say? I said just the first part of that. Sophie, do you feel safe? I feel very safe. Okay.

Yeah, because my- She doesn't have a gun to her head just letting you guys know. My toothbrush has also seen Tony's boobs. Oh, power play. Oh, sell that on the Dally Mail. So, it's equal. And maybe in London, like, we're just housemates. Yeah.

Housemates. I actually spoke to my toothbrush. Flatmates. I spoke to my toothbrush this morning and he's depressed as fuck because he ain't seen nothing. Yeah, well, you wanted the bathroom on your own. Yeah, so, so well it's good for me but not good for him you know what i'm saying tony's got that real beyond border bravado about it beyond border bravado like i said it's a mouthy one just like tony oh but yeah if the shoe fits. Yeah. Okay.

I feel like your favorite was globe trotting gusto. I did like the gusto. Okay. But I'm about to just be slapped around by something incredible. Are tarpots voting on this or are you just going to end it right here? It's going to be so good. Everyone's going to go, oh, just fucking laissez faire. I think it's just a vibe check to see which one catches on. I said laissez faire.

I meant lay down, mazare. And I don't speak Spanish. Oh, God. She's so confident overseas. Yeah, she's got that passport personality. What? You don't like passport personality? I think I do, but I think the...

It's my passport personality. When I'm overseas, oh, it's my passport personality. I'm actually devastated. I thought that was going to bring the house down. It's good. It is good, but you just pumped it up so hard. Yeah, because I'm backing it in. And I actually don't give a fuck if you don't like it.

The internet's going to love it. We'll do a poll on Facebook. Passport personality. Yes, Sophie. I'm also really let down by Ryan's reaction. Sophie and I had like a 20-minute brainstorm. Oh, I thought Sophie was let down by the name. You're let down by me.

No, by you. And we were so amped. We did two hand fist bumps. We did double fist bumps so all four of our fists were together. Quad fisting. Yeah. We did a quad fist for that and you couldn't care less. I actually prefer the term quad fist than passport personality.

You seem so confident overseas. Yes, my quad fist. Maybe not in that context, but just in general. Passport, personnel. I mean, it is what it says on the tin. What about globetrotting glow? Global glow. Glow is a great word.

It's the global glow. The global glow. Oh, wow. When you're overseas, you're just like a different person. Yeah, it's my global glow. The global glow. Oh, wow. When you're overseas, you're just like a different person. Yeah, it's my global glow. That's good. I got there in the end. Yeah, we got there.

We got there. Oh, the other one was just a prank. We don't do pranks. Oh, but it's different because. It was a passport prank. I'm Josh from the UK in London, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapions from our Patreon. Shelby Russell, good on you, Shelby.

Shelby coming around the mountain when she comes. Abra Rahat. Thanks, Abra. Abra coming around the mountain with Rahat. Molly Phillips Memoring. Molly Keeney. Andrea S. and Stephanie Saylor. Good on you guys. Thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. Absolutely love to see it. Stephanie

Saylor almost sounds like a travel name. Yeah? Yeah, like she's Stephanie Sailor but only when she's on water. Stephanie Sailor? Hardly, no. When she gets back from her sailing trip, then she's Stephanie Lander. But when she goes to a trampoline park, she's Stephanie Error.

But when she goes to a trampoline park, she's definitely ERA. How long can people claim to be affected by jet lag before they're starting to take the piss a bit? As someone with passport personality. Yeah. I've got the global glow. Yeah. I actually, I don't know the answer i'm gonna say indefinitely oh i think forever you could just claim it what does uh well you had some global glow about you

and some taylor swift wisdom when someone asked you the first day we were here and what did you say that jet lag is a choice because that's what Taylor Swift said. Yep. At the Super Bowl after she'd done the show and then flown to Tokyo nonstop, did her makeup on the plane. Yep. Very, very woman of the people. Before we like, you know. Lock in a choice. We went to a fancy high tea and Sophie brought shame to her family,

shame to us and shame to all tarpers by her hijinks. And I reckon she's going to blame jet lag. Can we call this episode High Tea Hijinks? I like that. I also like Sophie's choice because is she going to choose to blame? What's that film about? It's not good. Sophie just said it's not good.

She doesn't have a microphone, though, so I'm silencing her. What's Sophie's choice about the film? I don't know, but it's got Meryl Streep and it's like some adopted kid, isn't it? I haven't seen or read the book. Yeah, it's grim. It's like about choosing which child to, like, have alive still. Yeah.

It's not good. I thought it was like, oh, two boys, which one are you picking? I didn't know. No, you're thinking of Man, Oh, Man, that reality show in Australia where they used to push boys into the pool. Do you remember that, Sophie? I've never heard of that. They filmed it in Brisbane.

I assume you worked on the show. So what happens is they've got all these guys lined up. It's like the original fucking Bachelorette. And so this girl, she's like, oh, I want a fucking boy who's into sports if you're into sports raise your hand and then the ones that don't raise their hands so that she like pushes them into the pool and then when it gets to the final round the guys are shirtless and they're blindfolded and then one of them gets pushed in the pool and the other one gets to make out with the girl can everyone please google man oh man okay i don't know what show. It was hosted by Mike Hammond on Channel 7.

I don't think I ever watched that. But have you seen If You Are The One? Which is kind of the same thing, but it's like a Chinese dating show and they've all got the – there's like 50 dudes. Is there a Chinese pool? There's no pool. I don't understand the concept of the show. There's like 50 women and one guy and like a video will play and he's like, yeah, like I love all this stuff.

And then if their lights go off, it means that they're not interested in him and it's like hell brutal. And then they go into the pool? Yeah, there's no pool. But if at the end they pick someone, they get to go on some like dope holiday. That's the same. I think they've ripped that off Man O' Man. No, well, yeah, maybe.

But no pool, I mean. I think I'm confusing Man O' Man for Gladiators Maybe they were both on Saturday nights on Channel 7 Are you thinking of Wipeout? No Are you thinking of Wipeout? No I don't think so Have you found Man O' Man? Is there anything on YouTube?

Or have I just invented this show in my mind? Oh, Sophie. Oh, good. She's jet lagged. God, it'll be easy choice for us. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, there it is. Hang on.

No, fuck you all. We've found it. Okay. We start on YouTube. Wait till you see this, Tony. Okay. I'm watching it. Also, it's a shame that we start on YouTube next week because this see this, Tony. Okay, I'm watching it. Also, it's a shame that we start on YouTube next week

because this would be incredible for everyone else. So I'll put a link in the Facebook group. Oh, look at the pool. And the girls come out. From the top of the volcano pool. So they're walking down. They're all wearing gowns and stuff. See, and they're standing in front of the pool.

That is so strange. Yeah. Oh, they've got like little name tags on and stuff. Oh, she walks up. Oh, look at that sexy little walk. That is a sexy walk. And she's going to go, you, you're a piece of meat. Oh, she likes Mark.

Oh, she's going to fuck him off. She's going to fuck him off. Oh, a kiss. No, they kissed. He's in. Who's so? There's a live studio audience. Yeah, and it's filmed on a Saturday night

and the live studio audience is like drinking wine and they're all girls. They're like having a girls' night watching. Oh, he's into the pool. Into the pool. And they're clapping that I hated that guy as well. Yeah, they didn't like him. Yeah, oh, that guy.

All right, well, this isn't fucking audio Gogglebox, so let's get back to Sophie fucking up at the afternoon tea. Oh, yeah. Maybe it should be. Maybe we should start a new podcast where we just watch Man O' Man and you are the one and just yell at the TV. I actually love that idea. Same.

I feel like any job that requires me to just watch heaps of TV sounds like a bit of me. Yeah. I know my audience. Yeah. I know my strengths. If I could go on Gogglebox, I imagine that. Well, remember when uh applied and got brutally

shut down yeah they go yeah we've actually got someone else in mind and it was hamish and zoe yeah hamish blake and zoe foster blake so yeah probably stronger choice yeah all good we actually offered to do it for free and they were like no no, it's all good. They were like, we'd rather pay them than have you do it for free. They earned a fortune too. Shame. Good for them. Yeah, no, good on them. So we're at a fancy high tea place.

I'd tell you where it was if I knew the name. I think actually in England, Fortnum and Mason. In England, I believe it's actually called afternoon tea. We keep calling it high tea, but that's not what it's called here. Then what's high tea? Which is so strange. Well, that's what we would call it in Australia is high tea, but it's just called afternoon tea here, which is already strike one.

Yeah, already incorrect. Yeah. Because then what's afternoon tea? What's high tea? High tea is what we went to. Yeah, but no. So they call it afternoon tea. What's high tea? High tea is what we went to. Yeah, but no, they call it- So they call it afternoon tea. So then what do they call what we call afternoon tea?

What? Like, say we've had lunch. Yeah. And we're around at your place. Yeah. And we're not going to have dinner, but you go, oh, should we have a cup of tea and a bicky? Yeah, afternoon tea.

Yeah, a bit of afternoon tea. So what do they call that no well fucking man oh man that's what they still call it i assume yeah but i'm talking like low like when we're at you know like low stakes just like an actual afternoon cup of tea yeah that would still be that i guess it's just it's the time it just doesn't cost six thousand dollars the time slot is called afternoon tea regardless of what you consume. I can handle that. Like that's good.

Okay, I can handle that. What I can't handle is we may have done and the video online has gone viral of us doing poor man's business class. Yes. We did poor man's high tea where we kind of just went, oh, we're not that hungry, we'll just order some and then we just like shared like and so there was a bit of splitting and sharing. You know how we got like the different dishes?

Well, we all got a thing, but it was like that. We were like, oh, if you get a sweet one, I'm not going to save everyone. Then we can have a bit of each. Yeah, let's not both get both. We can figure this out. Yeah. And so Sophie had to cut a scone in half.

And this is where Fortnum and Mason's almost got burnt down to the ground. They almost. 323 years of history. Did you Google that? I just remember the waitress saying to another table who asked, when was this building built? And they said 17 or something. I don't think that's true.

No. Because then when we walked out, it said, this building was opened by Queen Elizabeth in 2012. She was pretty fucking old, dude. 2012? Yeah. No, but how was the building opened in 1700s if it was opened in 2012? She opened the building in 1707 and then the new tea room,

like they've made upgrades in like new areas. So she opened that one as well. But it said that she opened the new room in 2012 and she opened the whole thing in 1707. No. You sounded really, I was like, oh, fuck. No. Anyway, so splitting a scone in half.

Sophie, can you cut that scone in half? I want you listening to this podcast to think if you were to cut a scone in half,ie can you cut that scone in half i want you listening to this podcast to think if you were to cut a scone in half how would you go about that hang on disclaimer you have to hold the microphone up to your face yeah i just work here speak confidently i if you're about to say you were jet lagged i don't fucking want to hear no no it's just important to remind everyone I'm not cutting it in half for myself only. I'm cutting it in half for Tony and I. I don't want to jump ahead in the story too far, but that's the same defence Sophie said to the lady

who walked over to our table and said, what the fuck are you doing? Jasmine was her name. Lovely woman. Lovely lady Jasmine. Believe she was a, I wouldn't say a full tarpa, but a TikTok viewer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she knew who we were.

And she didn't mind giving Sophie a piece of her mind. And she said, I don't want to be rude, but, which is all great sentences. And as soon as she looks at Sophie and says, I don't want to be rude, but, and Tony and I just go, oh, here we go. She goes, you've absolutely butchered that scone. And I was like, thank you. Did you hear what I said?

So Sophie cut the scone down the middle, like top to bottom, instead of left to right. Leaving two separate things that had a bit of top and bottom. And when, as Sophie cut it, I said, what the fuck are you doing? You're supposed to cut it the other way. And in Sophie's defence, poor defence, but she did say, I thought that you'd want a little bit of top

and a little bit of bottom because you know whatever she's averse but the woman said no like that's not what you're supposed to do and i said did you hear what i said and she said yes and i agreed with what you had said sophie said i'm obviously just trying to give you a little bit of top little bit of bottom and i said but you know that i am a bottom girl through and through. I'm the same with Hot Cross Barnes. Do you not know that, Sophie? Sorry, is that a bit editorial from you, Sophie?

You've got something to say, mate. Go on. You've got a microphone. About my body. Go on, use it. About my preferences. You don't want to open this can, will you? And then, yep, so we got fucking.

A power bottom, but a bottom nonetheless. We got absolutely fucking torn on you by this chick. It was fucking hilarious. I don't want to be rude, but what the fuck are you doing? I don't mean to be rude, but are you fucking stupid? Yeah. Lays that down and looks at Tony and goes, love the TikToks, hun.

Who's this bitch? I looked at her in the eye and I said, do you know what you've done? And then she said, do you know what you've done? I was like, you don't understand what these guys are capable of. Yeah, you have just ruined my trip. I'm going to be bullied from here. If anybody isn't trustworthy, it's you, Sophie.

We saw what you did to that scone. You embarrassed us on an international stage do you know what that's done for our reputation yeah do you yeah that's why i came it was a it was a it was a whole ploy so how did you rectify did you like recut it then well no we'd eaten it and it was too late. Like it had already been fucked because it had already been cut down the middle. In other news, and I'm not saying this is a bad thing for Fortune Manchester, but like how much could you never eat a scone again because we ate about 55?

Yeah, so you know what I thought was a nice touch at the afternoon tea? 55. Yeah, so you know what I thought was a nice touch at the afternoon tea? After they come over, so we go, oh, well, we'll obviously order a different thing each so that we can try everything. What's a nice touch that they don't put on the fucking menu? Is that they go, oh, here's a little knowledge bomb. You can refill anything anytime you want for free in the two hours. As many times as you want.

So we dominated. As if I would have fucking ordered, we would have ordered three towers. Yeah, we would have ordered one and just doubled down. We would have ordered one and just kept fucking doing the thing. But we had those sandwiches and we looked at each other because we like skipped lunch. Because it was at like four o'clock. We're like, look, we won't eat any lunch. We'll just fill up on sandwiches later.

So we polished off the little, what do you have? The little cucumber sandwich, the little curried egg sandwich? Those sandwiches were come down. They really were. They were so good. And you had a little GF number. Was the bread good? For gluten-free, it was pretty good.

Yeah. But all the sandwiches, yeah, they were pretty decent. And then, but here's the thing, Tony goes, oh, they were great. I could go another. And the waiter goes, okay. And Tony goes, what? And they just brought them over. And Tony's, it's like she'd won the jackpot on the pokies.

She's like, oh, my fucking God. I've cracked the code. Does everyone know this? Vegas was lost on me, but the free sandwiches and the high tea, that's what I'm about. And then our mate Jasmine, who embarrassed Sophie, she goes, yeah, we're on our, like, fourth plate. And I was like, good for fucking you.

That's amazing. Well done. Well done. So I don't think we'll be asked back to Fortnum and Mason, unfortunately. No, beautiful place I'm building up. So fucking stunning. And we were so dressed up as well. We dressed to impress.

We wanted to fit in. Do you know, I'm going to put this out there, the difference between travelling in your 20s and travelling in your 30s. Yeah. In your 20s, I dare say we'd be drinking a bunch more, partying, clubs, lots of fun to be had here in the UK. We went to Fortuna in Manchester and we went to the downstairs bit for those who know the place and it's like it's like a fucking 80 story department store it's like a department store but the bottom level is like a

food court that just has like a butcher and some meats and cheeses and we walked around we traveled to a foreign country and go let's check out out this supermarket. Let's look at this grocery section. And we walked around this grocery store, like, with our jaws on the floor, being like, oh, look at the thickness of that prosciutto. Fuck, look at that wheel of brie. That can just roll on back to our place here. And I was like, wow, I've never seen beluga caviar in real life. Like, it was like 3,000 pounds for, like, a tiny tin,

and we were like, whoa. Yeah, and it was behind glass. Like, it was pressed up to the glass. Yeah, it was behind glass. Like nose pressed up to the glass. Yeah, it was behind glass and they were like, can you please get off the glass? Tony, get your snozz off there. They're like, we know you aren't rich enough to even look at this. Yeah. Like you need to walk away.

And we had a competition like everyone, you've got 60 seconds each, try and find the most expensive bottle of wine. Yeah. And I think Sophie won that and found a four and a half grand thing of something. Fuck. Which was behind a locked case of glass. Yeah, because they knew Sophie was coming. Yeah.

They go, not only can she not cut a scone, but she can polish off a bottle of wine. You know how when you open the fancy magnum with the sword? Yes. And then they see Sophie and she's just like cutting the bottle in half down the middle. Like, what the fuck's this bitch doing? Nah.

It's great to have you on board. Very, very good. Nah, it's actually great to have you on board. Thanks very hard, bro. I got to love to see it here. Amazing. It's from up the road in Scotland, which I believe we can see from our balcony. And this is Rhianne who brought this to my attention,

which is an actual Rhianne, not myself in Malaysia. There's a photo. I'll send it to you. But it's this dog. His name is Jax. Hi, Jax. He's the official stamp licker at the Royal Post Office in Portree on the Isle of Skye in Scotland.

He works every day waiting for customers who want to come in for a free lick on the stamp. Free lick? You just give him a little pat and he'll lick the thing for you because he's got a big tongue. An important public service carried out by a very good boy. And can you see him there, the little Labrador? And he's these little bed... Little working dog. Yeah. That is so cute. Working nine to five. It's the way to make a post stamp.

Okay. That's very cute. I haven't actually seen a professional licker since Tony in college. But good on Jax. I'm going to love to see it here. Was it you in college? Because a lot of people love to say that. Chloe Eldridge posted this.

Sorry. Good on you, Jax. He's a good boy. Good on you jacks he's a good boy good on you jacks uh chloe eldridge posted this um my little cousin is nine who's nine years younger than me so i'm guessing like early 20s like mid 20s is a tattoo apprentice and on monday she did her first full tattoo on someone's skin on my leg fuck yeah um hard job to get into with that hey huh can't just like start no it's high stakes yeah you have to be an apprentice for a long time and you have to practice on like fake skin and like oranges and stuff is like a common one they practice on fruit because it's really porous pretty scary doing your first one wouldn't you yeah and i think um so my tattoo artist courtney she was

telling me that like when you kind of start you can only do tattoos at like a really reduced rate yeah and um you can only do them on like you know like friends and cousins and family and stuff because you've got to really get your chops up and whatever um but yeah chloe's cousin did the very first full tattoo on someone's actual body and it was hers. And it's turned out great. And she said she's so proud. Fuck yeah, you would be. That's sick.

That's awesome. And yeah, like you'd be so fucking nervous, eh? And I actually also reckon you love to see it to the receiver of the tap because you're literally putting your body on the line. I love that. And there's not much you can do after the fact. But that's fucking awesome. Thank you for sharing, Chloe. That love that. And there's, yeah, not much you can do after the fact, you know. But that's fucking awesome. Thank you for sharing, Chloe, because. That is sick.

I just, yeah, that's really cool. Now, tomorrow is going to be a special episode. Because of time zones and all sorts of shit, the way it works out, we're going to record tomorrow's episode, the moment Tony arrives back to the airbnb after seeing taylor swift so i don't think we've yet uh announced that i'm going to taylor so this is breaking news but yes i'm going to taylor swift um so in london it's on tuesday night yep and yeah time zone chat too difficult to explain yeah But yeah, so then Thursday's episode will be post Taylor Swift.

Are you going to have a voice tomorrow? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Are you going to see photos of you? You'll take some photos of me. Yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Photos, well.

Yep. Especially because of the person I'm going with. Are you allowed to say who you're going with? Should we say now or should we save it? I think we can say now. It's exciting. I'm going to see Taylor Swift with Hot Ash from Perth. Australia's biggest Swifty.

Two Perth girls in the big city. Just doing crazy shit. Yeah. It's that global glow. It's the passport personality. It really is. I love that you're not quite ready to... I can't let it go because I was just so proud of it.

No, that's okay. And I love that you love it. I don't hate it. I just like, yeah. The global glow feels right. Thank you. But yeah, so I'm really fucking excited. Going to Taylor Swift.

Yay, yay, yay. But you'll hear all about it on... Maybe. Or you might hear this. Yeah. That's not... Or just me you might hear this. Yeah. Oh, that's not. That's not. Me throwing up from being so excited.

I just realised that I don't know how to sound like someone who's lost their voice. I just started singing. Yeah, that's okay. How do you sound when you've lost your voice? Remember when you weren't very well and you sounded like the woo girl that had, like, had too much fun on the weekend? I had had too much fun on the weekend.

That's what that sounds like. Because I'm going to be the biggest woo girl in Europe. I had such a great time. And I'm actually going to the very, very last show of this leg of the Eros tour before she re-returns

to the USA, North America. She does the last ones over there. And I think it's going to be big, I think. Are you going to the after party? Absolutely not. I'm sitting fucking probably right at the back.

Yep. Definitely not getting invited to any after parties and I'm going to come back here, record the pod. Hot Ash is going to join us on the pod as well. So you'll get to meet Hot Ash. For anybody that didn't meet her at our meet and greet on the weekend. Yeah, you couldn't miss her. She literally walked in

and I was like, Taylor Swift is here. Yeah. You said that. It was amazing. Taylor Swift is here. Taylor Swift has come to our event. Anyway, so you'll hear all about that then. You'll see lots of photos. We don't make jokes about her like that. No, actually, you're right. I take that back. Taylor Swift is like... Yeah, shit.

It's not Sophie to fucking high T. It's Taylor Swift. It's not Sophie in London. It's not Passport Sophie. Passport's Sophie's personality. I can't let it go. I just can't. All right.

Love you so much. Bye. Love you. Bye.