Toni and Ryan - Hot Girls Love Hot Chooks

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] Ryan's underwater - Glasses stories - Board comedy: Eating in private - love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So we've won the volleyball game in Adelaide. We're all partying. The night goes on and everyone gets lost. And no one knows where Troy Goodman goes. Oh. He's sharing a room with Lofty. Lofty goes into his hotel room, flicks the light on. And 6'8, 120 kilo, Troy.

He's s-h-h-h-h-h-h-ha-n-o-k. Now, I'm not proud of this. But I'm moitza than a oitza. That sounds horny as hell. I'm Yibben from Wellington, New Zealand. I'm Kiara from Camer, Australia. I'm Ari Rodden from Tableball, Illinois. And I have been for this podcast.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. And if there's a weird, sexy, bona vibe in the studio, it's because we're, For the last few minutes, we've just talked about Billy Bob Thornton. We took an Uber back to 2000. Yeah.

We just watched the Billy Bob Thornton, Angelina Jolie red carpet interview where they just banged in the car on the way to the red carpet. I've never seen that before. Yeah. Now, does that freak you out or turn you on or weird? Like, it's just, it's a big thing on the senses, right? Yeah, it's a lot to take in. Don't say take it in.

But it is kind of crazy thinking about how. different like take this without the wankness that comes with it but how different like the media was then because if you said something crazy like that on the telly yeah the people who saw it live would see it and that would be it so saying something like hell crazy yeah it actually did only kind of like happen once and then it was over yeah and it was on MTV at on Thursday afternoon and that clip played in like and so everyone would have been like did you see that thing people go nah and then they explained it but it didn't exist whereas now like things like that don't really happen obviously we just watch that video but like things like that don't really happen because

stuff doesn't just exist once yeah so like no one would ever do something like that now because they'd be like oh well that'll go on the internet forever cancel my next four days because yeah you know yeah and you kind of miss like people's saying like shit like that because it just doesn't really happen anymore now does that creep you out because billy bob thornton's one of those guys I think he's like 70 now, but a lot of people like he's like, oh, this old like sex demon and other people like he's a bit creepy and weird. Old sex demon, I mean, that's a... I know, but like some people are like, oh, like he's an older guy, but he's just got that

kind of aura. Yeah, I mean like... Of a sex demon. So I'd actually never seen him. I knew the name, but I'd never seen him until we just all sat around and watch Charles Google out on the big TV. But yeah, I think it's just like a bit of like cool energy as long as he's not an actual creep but I think like still rooting in your 70s fucking got her what else you're alive for

so true you don't have to work anymore you just like have sex and drink coffee all the time it sounds sick that actually sounds sick what if we had to choose how would you like to spend the next 30 minutes oh option a in a pool in a pool yeah option B coffee and fuck it with or without Billy Bob Thornton. Yeah, okay. Option C.

Oh. And keep in mind, they're hearing this. Option C. Yep. For those playing on at home, Tony just pointed at her vagina when she said option C.

And he's quite proud of it. I thought it was pretty fun. All good. No, it's okay. Not everyone can pull it off and I'm one of them, so that's fine. Next option?

Option D is pull this off. or option e and keep in mind we're all listening and watching yeah is finish this finish this episode we just started no i'd love to do the episode no like i'm very happy to be here i'm just saying that would that be top three options of the ones i provided oh no i love being at work yeah i'm not saying you don't love it i'm just saying are there better options oh i think there's a combination of the two like if we were doing the podcast in a pool whilst fucking and drinking coffee. Charles, can we make that happen?

We sure can. I was more asking about the tech rather than like, are you about to be fucked? Oh, yeah, the tech could work as well. But I'm just fine. I'd just fine. Because isn't everything just better in the pool? So true.

Except for sex. And electronics. Yep. Waterproof. In fact, everything we've just mentioned is worse in the pool. It's worse in the pool. Yeah. Okay.

We should do the podcast underwater. drop this. Pop-p-b-b-b-b-b-b-gum. Or option F, that. I think I've just popped my pancreas on. I didn't know pancreas could pop. I didn't know until now. That is so funny.

And I don't know. I just, I cannot. I've, like, got blacked up. in my eyes. I'm really struggling. I think you should have a crack at it. You sounded just like the voices on Animal Crossing, which I know you haven't played,

but pretty well as they sound like Tom Nook. That's very funny. Can I tell you a story about my beautiful daughter, Mabel? Yeah. We went swimming at the Altham Leisure Center yesterday. So beautiful. And I'm trying to teach her how to blow bubbles. Oh, yeah.

And so instead of putting her mouth in the water and like, she just puts her water like near the water and goes, do do do do do do and she kind of looks at me as if like am i doing it or she's like this is it hey yeah she's like yeah i've got it she's like yeah i'm doing it and i'm like it's close no but adorable but also the do do do it is very funny um that was amazing performance thank you it was like we were underwater let fuck is that how we got to that that was amazing that was really really funny That's given me a huge laugh. I can't believe how fun.

That's really sent me. Why are you shocked that someone who hosts a comedy podcast could once a month make you giggle a little bit? Nah, no, no, no. That just really took me off guard. Got me off guard. Not that you were funny. That's what I mean.

When you're funny, it doesn't catch me off guard because I know you're funny all the time. It wasn't that you were being funny. That didn't catch me off guard. The thing that was that how good. it sounded. I know what's from now.

I've just realized why that's in my brain. Remember that day when we tried to recreate the opening titles from White Lotus Season 1 and 2? Yeah.

Yeah. Fuck, remember Sydney, Sweeney? Hasn't she really taking a dive? Into the pool. That's funny. Ashley Byrne says, I'm a tarpa.

and I wear glasses. Oh, love to see it. Me too. And I want to know... What? I'm a tarpa and I'll wear glasses. Me too. Same.

What's the dumbest thing you've done without them? Ashley goes, I'll go first. Which is fair. Yeah, thanks for taking love of the team. And you go, let's have a chat. It's only fair that you get us started. I think also sometimes you need to give in a bit of an example because the tarpals really can go a bit wrong.

sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I once called the SES because my chihuahua got out of the backyard because on my ring doorbell, I could see him like out the front. Oh shit. Yeah.

And she was at work. So she's like on her thing and she's like, oh, fuck, the dog's got out. I can't grab in. Yeah. So she calls the SES. It goes, my dogs got out like. What's the SES? State emergency service.

Oh. Now, I don't know if you're supposed to call them if your dog gets out. Yeah. I was just thinking, isn't that who you call if like there's a tree? down in your street or something? Yeah, same guys. God, they're diverse range of skills. Chihuahuas, trees.

That's about here. Oh, well, that's it. And everything you betranging. They're wearing orange jackets. Yeah, good for them. No, they do a lot. Thanks for being part of the community. Turns out it wasn't a chihuahua.

It was a pigeon. Well, Chihuahua. I'm hardly no one. Sorry. Chihuahua. Ooh, chihuahua. Because she didn't have her glasses.

Oh. She's like, it looks like a chihuahua, it's actually a pigeon. So the SES head over there. Feeling pretty different. So the SES head over and go, oh,

we've looked over the back fence. The chihuahua's safe. Like your dog's inside. All good. But there's like pigeons around. Um, what a dumb. totally uh I didn't waste too much of the SES's time says Tapa Ashley I actually live next door to the SES center so they literally just walked out the door looked over the fence saw the dog

was okay and called me back and called me a fuckhead well you know what I approve calling the SES in that situation then because they weren't hey fellas sorry to fucking can you just next door can you just duck over and see fucking Birtle's alright that sounds great actually when calling your neighbor for a hand is a professional yeah you know like if you gave you neighbor a bell, I'm like, oh, can you check if BJ's down the road or whatever? So I don't have a neighborhood group chat like you do. Is that the perfect time if you're like, hey, I'm at work and I've just got this odd feeling that Pipp is out, can someone just go look over the gate and see if she's

right? Yeah. And that's like fair game, right? Absolutely. Yeah. We've gotten like parcels delivered before and been like, oh, they've left it in a weird spot. Like, if someone sees it, can you grab it and I'll come around and.

Yeah, that's nice. Which is really lovely. See, that's what happens on the good side. a reservoir. They're all nice there, aren't you? Linda Thompson says, I work in retail and made eye contact with this customer in the aisle.

I smiled and nodded and, you know, said, like, you know. Made eye contact with him in the eye. Yeah, where the fuck else would you do it? In the aisle. Oh! Eye contact with their eyes. Yeah, oh, so I've made eye contact with them

in the eye. I'm like, well, yeah, it's not in the fucking leg, is it? I make eye contact with Tony's ass every day when she walks up the stairs. Go, dang, sister. In the aisle. Because I have to go real slow at the moment with my foot. So if I'm first up the stairs, yeah.

Oh, hang on, everyone. Camp down here for a bit. I smiled and nodded in the aisle. Isle. And said, can I help you with anything? Oh, Linda. It was a cardboard cut out of the lady from the TV ad. I walk past her every day.

Oh, sorry. And she still gets me pretty regularly, which that's not a one-off. When she says pretty regularly, I'm like, Linda. Yeah. See, I think one, it's a bit different for it to, like, catch you out of the corner of your eye and go, oh, oh, no, sorry, that's that thing again. Yeah. But to actually talk to it is a bit different.

Sorry. Oh, sorry, mate. Do you need anything? You know my favourite tarp story of all time? The teeth in the pocket that were rocks. Second favourite. That's obviously my favourite. Second favourite is when the tarpa said I once bumped into a mannequin.

and said, oh, sorry, and then they realized it was a mannequin and went, oh, sorry, I thought you're a person. That is very good. I don't have any funny glasses stories. Obviously, I wear glasses like full time. Yeah, and I have done... Maybe that's your mistake. Maybe you need to ease it off. Go hybrid.

Well, you're hybrid. Sorry, car chat. It's just the whole word hybrids right. Yeah, we're car chat at the moment. The only thing that really happens is the only time I'm not wearing my glasses is at the pool. And like, because we've gone to the pool as a crew a few times. I'm like, Charles, I really need some support here because I can't see anything. But I've never talked to a cardboard cutout or anything, just like almost fallen over.

But like, you know when you're at the pool and I like can't see the clock and you chat to some people and they don't talk back? Yeah, maybe just I never realize. How do you know you haven't talked to a cardboard cut out? What a bitch. You wouldn't say anything. I reckon at the pool there would be a cardboard cutter because there's always like the people like... Sign up today. Yeah.

Or the like the Speedo brand. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yep. No, totally. Make sure you get a response.

Yeah. Just for your piece of mind. No, I think that in the future I'll be a bit more careful. Sometimes I just talk so much that I don't even really listen anyway. You know what I mean? No. No, no. Comedy.

I do. No, that was comedy. I do. No, that was comedy. No, I know. Jackie. Hey. Hey, Jackie.

No, it's Jackie Hay. Yeah, hey, Jackie. Jackie Hay and I feed our dogs the same anal gland treats. Where do you feed it to them? You got to wear your glasses before you do that one. Let me tell you. Pippa doesn't talk back when I do that one. Yeah, she's always walking backwards.

I screamed in the bathroom and sprinted through the house because there was a spider in the bathroom. They get a bad rap, but I appreciate it. I made a big scene, got my family to help. Yep. It was one of my hair tires. Ha ha! Okay, now this is the final one from Tapa, Alice and Elizabeth.

Hi, Allison Elizabeth. Both of them, Alice and Elizabeth. Now... It's a joke. I don't know if her justification makes this okay or opens way more. doors than it closed you know what I'm saying okay I swore there was a moose in my backyard like a full blown moose okay I went chocolate moose in my mind and I'm not proud of it I went that sounds delicious fuck yeah imagine if you woke up looked out in the backyard and there was just a huge just a huge chocolate moose and you go I'm not coming

in today. I've got to deal with a moose in my backyard and you guys all go, oh my God. I'll go with option M. It's Operation Moose. Yeah, the guys from the SES are going to come around and give me a hand. Oh, and they would.

They would. I've never met a bunch of guys who love chocolate moose more than the great folks down at the SES. And don't they just do good work? But then Elizabeth went, I live in Ohio. Is that a name Allison? Yeah, but we go by last name. sorry, I think it's a middle name as well.

That's okay. Yeah. Is it Allison? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then Allison realizes. No, but where was Elizabeth?

She was hanging out after. She was with the SEP. Yeah. Having a moose. Yeah. So she swore there was a moose in the yard because she's not wearing her glasses. And a moose is pretty big. Yeah.

Like, fucking huge. Like gigantic. And then Allison says. Not Elizabeth. Goes, well. I live in Ohio, like, there's no moose here in Ohio. Oh, that's like an important fact, okay. So I freaked out a little bit, but then I put on my glasses and it, oh, false alarm, it was just a cow.

And I don't know why I'm picturing Alison at your house. She got to confuse because of all the moos. It was a cow with a moose Holding a moose Do you want some? A dairy-filled treat Don't ask them where dairy comes from How dairy?

I'm picturing your house Yeah It was a pretty small backyard Yeah And just being like a moose What the fuck And then be like oh Oh my God

Don't worry everyone False alarm It's just a cow It's just a massive fucking bull In my courtyard All good SES go back to your moose worry about it.

All good. It's fine. Yeah. Eight maids of milkin. I'm Yibin from Wellington, New Zealand. I'm Kiara from Canberra, Australia. Hi, I'm Erie from

Table, Illinois. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Action. I'm as you shout out to a few of our Jammin Tarbets. I'm not fucking shitting you the person. First person on this list is Elizabeth. It's not Alison Elizabeth, it's just Elizabeth Salden.

No, Alison's her first name. Two separate Elizabeth's. So we got Alison, we got Elizabeth, and we got Alison Elizabeth. Gotcha. Yeah. Three of them. Elizabeth. Elizabeth, good on you, Elizabeth.

Joshy L. Fens burner account. Love that for you. Respect. Ian Van Dam. Good on you. Say hi to Claude. How are we? Not that funny.

How did we? I mentioned two crazy old actors today. Yeah, who was the other one? Nick Nolty. Billy Bob Thornton. Yeah, we fucked in the car on the way here. Earn Dog, good on your Earned Dog. Jenny A.

Dana Catamol. I was thinking of Gary Busey. Dana Catamol. I bet you she is. Fiona McLaughlin. The Fiona McLaughlin? Yes. In the arms of the angel.

Topeka. Good on you, Topeka. And Moira Perman. Thank you very much. Moira Pearman, not my repairman. Even though My Repairman is a big tarpa and he's really happy to be here as well. So thank you so much. And a shout out to My Repair Man.

Great job on plastering up that fucking hole behind the couch here, sweet up. A big shout out to my repairman who got the moose out of the back of my fucking house. Yeah, I said, I know it's not normally your job, but can you get that huge cow out of my court yeah yeah don't worry it's not a moose i checked she's got a name oh it's mean oh sorry sorry no it's that time in the week where i need to open the cupboard oh to get the board out here we go it is time for board comedy oh and today's topic um because tony introduced us a few weeks ago. Foods not to eat in public.

Yep. Here are the top five. Private foods, as we called it. As suggested by tarpers. Now, the fifth looks pretty girthy and fat on the flap here. That does a girthy, yeah. That could be a moose. Don't worry, it's just a cow.

Tony Lodge. I'm so sorry. I'm so not a burper. That is so. I'm so not a burper. Yeah. That's crazy. I'm so sorry.

I've just been drinking heaps of water. I don't think that's what makes... Is it sparkling water? No, because that tastes like TV. No, but you know what? I did actually start eating this weird bar. Oh, it's because it's got no sugar in it. But no, it's just not that it's no sugar because it says on the back no sugar alcohols.

What does that mean? What's sugar alcohol? I don't know. Is it tasty? It's okay. Hmm. You wouldn't say that about a sugar alcohol. Even had more sugar alcohol in it.

I wonder if that's what's made me burp. I only had half of it because I'm replaced the sugar alcohol with gas. Yeah. So I'm about to pop. Yeah. I'm like a balloon. I've got to hold on. I might float up.

Who's that lady in Willy Wonka? Yeah. Violet bow regard gets turned into a big. Sorry, I thought you're going to say Violet bow repair. The tie place. Yeah. Yeah. Can I get a pad tie.

You've been four new. oh you didn't laugh okay here is the things because you remember when you said tie plays and I thought you said tie plays yeah yeah shout out to Mr Pringle yeah mr Pringle you're thinking of the aunt I think though from Harry Potter three I haven't seen Harry Potter no but I think that's what you're thinking of which was number four four yeah tough one to start though a lot of implied knowledge

oh yeah but like most people would have watched the other ones that's okay private foods Foods not to eat in public Number five The girthy one Corn on the cob Oh Controversial

I love how You questioned what you were saying When you were halfway through saying it I saw your face there I think I'll cup a corn on the cob in public Because we'll keep in mind How Archer gets in your teeth and you need a floss and you're out in the bed.

Because when you're at home, you can kind of go after. It's post-game. It's not, it's not while you're eating it. It's after, the admin after. But it's still pretty messy while you're eating. Because like it's right, yeah, it gets all over your mouth and your person. Yeah. My grandpa.

God rest your soul. Used to cut the corn off the cob. That's the fun part. Right. Yeah, no, I think the fun is chewing it off. Yeah. I love to nosh the corn off the cob. how do you do it left to right classic yeah covered in butter number two i'm not going in

order today oh should we have discussed this that's controversial thanks charles is mango now that's what you said last week but a tarpa sent through a story which i fucking hate oh great Bruce said she saw someone eating a mango on a train. Oh, that's why I don't go on the train. It was a hot day and they had a knife to peel the skin off and then continue to eat it like an apple. They had a full-size bath towel ready to mop up because they knew how fucked it was. It's so messy.

Fucked up. No. I mean, you're not supposed to eat on the train at all anyway. And you're not supposed to have food and drink. It depends. Like a long haul train. Oh, but like catching the train to work, like you're not supposed to have like... Really?

Surely you'd have your coffee on your way to work or whatever? No, I don't think you're supposed to. Because there's like the sticker, I mean, fucking old rule for a lot over here. Oh, yeah, here we go. But like there's a thing on the, it's like no drinks and not. Maybe it's like open containers, like, maybe if you had a coffee because it's like covered, but you couldn't have like a cup of hard or a lot or something. The amount of times when I was younger that we were like on the way home from the club

and we're having macas or a cabab on the train or whatever. Oh, absolutely not. It would smell so bad. Smell fucking. Are you okay? Sorry, you've just had like a... Do you do a bit? Yeah.

Yeah. A mango on the train. That's an absolute nah. Number four. Bananas. Very phallic. Uh, Atapa. You think that's phallic.

Listen to this. This is Kate Evans. Oh, Kate. You're all right. double dueling over there. I love bananas and I really go at it when I eat them. I can't eat them in public because I feel like everyone's just imagining me deep throating. Well, yeah, they are.

When you use terms like, I really get after it, you all are just a bit disgusted by that, but I'm a bit turned on. No, I'm like, you know what you're doing, you know? I just also like, I'm not a huge fan of bananas. Like, they've got to be, like, at the right time. Yeah. Like, you don't get a big window with a banana. I love banana smoothies, but bananas dry, take it all leave.

Yeah, like, I just think that you've got such a short window for them to be great. Yep. This is controversial. Controversial. Thank you. Number three of foods do not eat in public. Vanilla slice Agree

I don't think I would have put it on the list But I agree They're so fucking messy Well you take a bite And it shoots out the bag It's like a Kiev Imagine if our tarpa with the banana Also was having a vanilla slice

Imagine see her Getting after a banana With a face full of cream Poor Kate Is I don't know Yeah Cool Um

A vanilla slice That's yeah that I it's less about it being sexy whereas with the banana I feel like it's a bit like oh is this too horny yeah the vanilla slice it's a oh h and s issue it's just messy yeah it's fucking all overplace yeah even I would say if you're sitting at the table in the bakery where you bought the vanilla slice and it's got like a little table yeah the table needs to be bigger I could not agree more because you need room for the shit to fly and you need like an extra plate for it to squeeze out onto so then you can eat the custard after yeah yeah

Yum I'm not talking to a rookie Vanilla slice out of here folks I'm talking to a pro I've been around the block a few hundred times Chloe Erickson Hi Chloe Erickson

She's a tarpa from Melbourne Her suggestion didn't make the board But she goes people are going to get fooled So this is like an honourable mention Okay She says There's a drive-through barn me place in Melbourne Oh

Sounds good says Chloe But don't fall for it Yeah no you've got to You got to double fist that thing If you're trying to eat with a bar me, you're not bar me and right. No, I agree. The only reason that I would approve that is to buy it through the drive-through to take a home and eat it.

Yep. But I wouldn't eat it on the go. The same way that you've said before, you can't eat a subway on the go. Yep. I didn't know that this existed. This might be controversial. It's a whole world out there. Out West, you know what they've got.

A drive-thru grilled. What? Isn't that crazy? I was confused when I learned that Al Janna had a drive-thru. That's good, though, because... Oh, it's great, but I just didn't see that coming. No, and you don't, but they're so fast through the drive-thru. That's one I would suggest, you go through the DT, take it home.

Oh, that's the one I was at. That looks so fancy. It was. It was. Oh, no, that's at Chadston. Yeah. That's not the one I was up. A drive-thru grilled.

God, they all look the same, though. But they cook to order. Yeah. and you would not believe how fast they were slinging burgers out. They were, and it was hot, it was fresh, it was absolutely amazing. But a grilled burger is not really a burger you can eat on the go. No, no, it's, because it's big and it's juicy and stuff. Like, you know, if you were getting like a Macas cheeseburger or something,

it stays together. Yeah. Nothing kind of falls out of it, but you can't really do it on the go. Nothing. But it was amazing quality. Yeah. And let me tell you, every single person that talked through. the drive-thru speaker box,

the person at the first window that took our payment and the person at the second window who gave us the food, every person said like, hi, my name's Mel, I'll be taking your order. It was like amazing customer service. Just one of the things I love about grilled.

So that's a grilled and I want the team to know how great a job they're doing. Yeah, I can give them timestamps on that as well. And please get them to pass that on. Which one was it? What's it called, Charles? The Altoona North. Probably.

Yeah. I mean, how many drive-thrus are there on the West? Two. Oh. What was the other one called? Oh, it looks like there's only two drive-thrus in Melbourne and ones at Chadston, ones at Autonomia. Yeah, so it's the west side.

Yeah, it was out of town north. Yeah, I went over the Baltie Bridge. Tony doesn't often head out west. Oh, I just type of passport. Was it called the East when you came back? Yeah, that's what I always wonder. Is it called the East Gate on the other way? It's not.

The final food to not eat in public. Yeah, this is feels, because two to five and the Honourable mention to Mrs. Erickson. who created the phones, I'm assuming, very good stuff. Do you reckon it was her family that didn't call all your partner back when he applied for that job? Was that an Eric said? Yeah.

He's still in between the second and third round of hiring from two years ago. Yeah, he's not sure yet. Two years, fucking four years ago. Fuck, it was too. Ages ago. We lived in that apartment then. Yeah, fuck. They should have got back to him by now. I reckon he didn't get it.

Poor guy. Do you think he should start looking for something else? He's not sure. So, this isn't as much as the food itself, but how it's consumed. Okay. Because this has been submitted by not you, but another Tony, T-O-N-I. Oh, I didn't know there was more than one of us. And when you find out how they eat it, you'll be like, well, obviously.

Okay. The number one food to not eat in public. Is a. is a rotissory chicken well yeah I wouldn't sit down with a big honkin bird so that makes sense but what do they

what's Tony saying Tony says I often go to town on a full rotissory chicken like a bear after a salmon like just holding the full rotissory chicken and just like ripping away at it

that sounds like it would be really good for your soul. Now, I want to tell you... Imagine if you did that. I reckon that there would be something so primal about that. Oh, you're about to hear the most primal story you've ever heard. Okay. Let me tell you about one of the good guys on this planet.

The good guys. His name is Troy Goodman. Not associated with the good guys. That's a shame. But a goodman nonetheless. Yeah, okay. Now let me paint the picture of Troy. Hi, Troy.

Literally, 203 centimeters. Is that tall? six foot six six foot seven what what is that in like like a head on top of torbs oh my god and not like those like skinny tall lanky guys like big broad shoulders big strong guy and his head is the size of the fucking moon like travis kelsey yes yeah he is that kind of build yeah hot a bit taller and he's huge and so i played volleyball with troy hot and so i played volleyball with troy hot And so we all go out... Is he the guy that lived in my building?

That's Tommy Borden. I'll get it one day. Complete opposite frame, even though they're both... That's what I was like, he's tall. So we're in Adelaide, we win the match. Everyone goes out and parties. And everyone's like, had a pretty good night in Adelaide. At Glenalgo on the pier there.

It's impossible to have a bad night in Adelaide. Never heard a more wrong statement in my life. I love Adelaide. That says, that's someone who's never been to the... What's the bar that's also a country in Western Ranch? Can you Google country and western nightclub Adelaide? Is it the place where Shannon O'Nall... Across the street.

Yeah. Come on, Charles. Woolish on Hidley? Woolshed. Couldn't have been more different from what he said. Woolshed. Okay. You can have a bad night in Adelaide.

Yeah, look at it. Bullshed on Hindley. We walked past when we stayed there last time. Yeah, well, because we walked past. What is the... There's a brucking. Crazy horse. Yeah, that's across the street.

There's a mechanical bull in the nightclub. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Why is there so many cowboy themed things in Adelaide? Have you been to Adelaide? I have. It's the south of Australia. Are you being funny? Because it is the South of Australia.

Yeah. It's in SA. What's that for? South Australia. They couldn't have named it better. Is that actually why? Imagine going to a nightclub where there's heaps of 19-year-olds and they're hammered and someone just puts a mechanical bull in the nightclub.

club okay so i haven't been to that one but i have been to that one bar in queenstown that has a mechanical ball and it's the same what's that called charles queenstown is the adelaide of new zealand it is it 1,000 is i would take that to the fucking bank 1,000% all right so cowboy's queenstown is what it's called great no of course it is could have probably guessed it yeah all right so we've won the volleyball game in adelaide we're all partying melbourne's beaten adelaide how fucking great awesome We all go out on the town. We have a good time. And it's one of those, like, the night goes on and everyone gets lost.

And it's like, oh, the club's closing. Those guys are getting a kebab. They're walking off to get more beers. Like, it's a bit kind of whatever. And no one knows where Troy Goodman goes. Oh. And you go, how can we miss him? He's huge.

Yeah, exactly. You actually, to lose Troy Goodman. That's crazy. That should be a TV show. Try and lose this. So he's sharing a room. So we slipped into Adelaide, bud. He's sharing a room with Lofty, who's,

also taller than this guy so you've got to get the two big I mean Lofty he's named correctly yeah Lofty goes into his hotel room and they're sharing the room and it's dark and he goes oh fuck Troy's obviously not back yet yeah flicks the light on and 6 foot 8 120 kilo Troy is sitting on the edge of the bed naked just eating a whole rotissory chicken Now I'm not proud of this

But I'm moitza than a oitza That sounds horny as hell Just standing there Just like fucking going at it Just been fingered by this giant And then he pulls out a rotissory dick him Where's the fingering part? No, that I'm saying like

Imagine the situation You've just been fingered by this giant Yeah And then he goes You wouldn't butcher you don't feel like a hot chook from cows do you I bought this earlier cool and Tony goes

I thought the perfect evening couldn't exist I thought you'd never ask that's great stuff and it does feel very primal to be holding a whole chicken yeah yeah I have been so horny for hot chicken lately like I think I'm going to say Troy Goodman

no we've been eating heap like every night I'm like let's just get a hot chook and then the next day you have the left So good. I've got four chicken carcasses in my freezer and I'm going to do a stock. Aren't you horny for me? I'm a homesteading bitch.

I'm just, I'm loving the earth at the moment. Yeah, and the earth is loving you. I'm loving life. Yeah. I'm horny for life. Tony Goodwoman is what they'll call you. and they can and they should and they shall am i fucking politician what's going on i am so pumped up by this i reckon i could fucking go and lift a car should we go down and try i could get a moose

out of alison elizabeth's backyard in ohio no moose don't even exist don't need to that's how good i am i can get a moose there and out put it in and take it out don't call much you are a pigeon One of the old says Yeah, you know what they say Don't call my Choir bitch Just like my mama used to say All right I got her you love to see it here

This is from Tarpa Scott Nicol Hi Scott Nicol Now you will love to see this I love Scott My love to see it is that I took my 12 year old daughter to her first rock concert. Sick! And she loved it.

Fuck, that's awesome. She was a little intimidated at first by the older teenagers to begin with, but ended up really getting into it as the night went on. The band was so cool. Do we know what band it was? No, but I get the vibe that it was like a local band. The young kids were seeing and, you know, they're just like, yeah, it's our first show and whatever.

Very cool. And so you know how there's like, well, you would know because you were a young rock dog. They would kind of do like the youngest show on the Sunday kind of thing. Yeah, the underage one and then they do the 18 plus one. Well, they all come in hung over from doing the show the night before. The band was so cool. They had a little chat with her because the dad goes, oh, this is her first show. And they were like, oh, that's so sick.

Come on over. Awesome. They took photos. They signed her shirt and stuff. It was an awesome dad and daughter night. I can't wait to take Mabel to her first concert. How dare you take that from me? No, you can have that one.

Shainel took her first fist bump and I'm still fucking dirty on it. Oh, yeah. Well, can I just come with you guys? No, no, godmothers and goddaughters need to have their moment. Who? God mothers. And God daughters. Come on the way home. I think that would be great for you.

You can get a chicken on the way home. A full rotisserie? Oh, yeah. Don't eat it out. Like a house. Bring the chicken to the house. Like you, I'll show you the sign. Don't eat it out in public.

Was today when we did the underwater stuff? Was that today? Because fuck me. I am honestly about to pass away. My brain is going to pop. Rotissary chickens. Ryan's underwater. I can't eat someone out.

The sign says food's not to eat in public. Maybe it should be like things not to eat out in public. Number one, Tony, I'm Troy Goodman. Speaking of being horny for the earth, I got this from Elise. And this is a really beautiful story. I didn't buy it. Huh? You didn't buy it?

I'm really sorry. I'm going to actually pass out my head. I am really sorry about that, everyone. I've given myself a migraine. Elise says, okay, this sounds a bit sad, but it's very good story. Elise says, a sail says,

for the first time ever, I think I have you love to see it. That can't be true, but I do love to see it. Thank you for sharing this. Elise says, this year my husband was diagnosed with cancer. He had to have horrible.

surgery to have his eye removed and then do all the radiation treatment as well like I said it starts a bit sad but it comes back around please um obviously the biggest you love to say it is that is healed and back to basically living a normal life you can eat rotiss for a chicken's now and you love that's the you love to say it um Elise says while we were homebound for a good six months

because obviously her husband couldn't get around and needed like a lot of care and wasn't very well um I decided to start a veggie garden with my four and five year old boys to kind of keep us busy on the weekends. She's like, so they've got a bit of responsibility and we've got something that every weekend when they're not at school, they've got something they can check in on and go and kind of learn about. I'm sure they'll like Google and stuff and going to the hardware store and whatever.

I just started harvesting and our haul has been huge. First time ever trying to grow anything. She says, I'm trying, I'm so proud of my husband for facing everything so calmly and proud of me and the boys doing something that's made us feel like a sense of achievement. And they got a huge haul of like zucchini's and cucumbers and all these veggies from their veggie garden. Fuck, yeah. Isn't that amazing? It's also, I read this thing because Bridge obviously gets into the garden and we take Mabel out and like if there's a strawberry.

Mabel loves going down there and like showing it off as well. Yeah. And it's sort of like, someone's like, oh, it kind of teaches them like where food comes from and they don't take it for granted and they're proud of it. And they kind of understand. And a bit of responsibility. Yeah. Because they can be like, we grew like, mum. Like, whenever I'm down there with Mabes, she's like, mom and I did this.

But the sense of accomplishment thing. Absolutely. So we'll, like, so the other night, we, there was only like a couple of strawberries, but we brought them up. So we're having yogurt. And Mabel was like, just so aware that she'd got those strawberries that were on top of the yogurt. And she was like, I have provided for this house. And she has.

Yeah. I mean, Bridget did all work. Yeah. But even Bridges sort of like, oh, even like, oh, that lettuce, that's from the garden. Oh, and you just feel amazing. Yeah. And so I just love to see that because. I think doing something really

tacked up like tangible like something with your hands kind of keep your mind busy because you're worried when your husband's sick he's had this surgery and stuff it's like being able to do something

and like keeping your kids happy and busy I just love to see that I love to see that too thank you for sharing that Elise thank you Elise Tony something to say just renting nah all good

it's very good tomorrow on the show normal or nah if we make it Honestly, I don't know if after today I can go on. Like, I've peaked today. How about I, as long as there's no cows or moose there, get you out the back of your place and just hose you down a little. Give me a hose down.

Yeah. Have some moose. And some rotissory chicken. Actually, no. Did you just go make the same noise as me? Yeah. How good's a fucking hot chook? Get a hot chook first.

I'll hose you down after that because like, why bother hosing you down before it, you know? Oh, no, no. I'm going to need the water after. Yeah. Have you had, like, charcoal chicken from El Janna, like a whole chicken? I don't think for the whole one. They talk about taking something perfect, a cooked chicken, and making it even better. What have they done there?

Oh, they've just fucked it right up. It's butterflied, so it's like flat. It's juicy, it's tender, it's charcoaly, the flavour. That is unreal. Do you get that like, this sounds like a bad thing, but it's the best thing. Smoky.

You taste the smoke. You do. Fuck yeah. You can taste that smoke from fucking out west. I think, now this is controversial. We need to get a full chook from El Janna.

And a full chook from the Bolton Street chicken shop in Altham. And we need to go head to head. Where's in between Preston and. And Altham. Here. Our office. I know where we'll meet. Yeah.

Let's meet here and maybe we'll do a blind tasting. Well, I've had it. Oh. Charles has just shown us a picture of the full chicken from Elthana. Let's do a blind tasting. And by that, I mean, let's drink a bottle of whiskey and then start out. Yeah. Yeah.

We'll invite Troy. Oh, Troy, yeah. Sorry, fuck. Yeah. I just had a moment there where I blanked down. Yeah. Well, I have. had a Bolton Street chicken and it's hard to

beat. It's very, very good. All right, you, me and Troy and two chickens. And two chickens. Well, if Troy's there, we might need seven. Yeah, we'll get a few chickens. Yeah. Should we get them all from different places? I've had a thigh from around Melbourne. Not any good.

Get my thigh around Melbourne, I'll tell you. Okay, that's enough for today. Yeah, all right. I love you. Love you, bye, bye-bye.