Toni and Ryan - How To ALWAYS Get A Parking Spot

Episode Date: August 18, 2022

Carpark hacks and my movie theory are all coming to life. It's going to change your LIFE! Also! Welcome to our first video podcast! You can listen or watch, it's the same audio whether you watch along or listen as normal! Hope you love it! Toni xx [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT] Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. I'm Tony, you're Ryan. This is Ariel. We're calling the Little Mermaid. Hello? Ariel? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Ariel, it's Tony and Ryan. Will you approve the podcast? Oh, of course I will. Yay! Oh, my God, because we'd love to be part of your world. Thank you for laughing at that. That is from The Little Mermaid. I love it.

Do you get that a lot? I humor all Little Mermaid jokes. Hi, it's Ariel from Quincy, Illinois, and I approve this podcast. What a professional. Oh, my gosh. Holy shit. I can't believe I got that on the first try. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.

This is our first vodcast. And as people who are watching and not just listening may see, Tony is all in on Spotify and holding her Spotify mug. And why are you posing like that? I just felt natural. Did it? It didn't look good, but I don't think. Just so natural, just living my authentic best life.

Welcome to today's episode. Just drinking some spot tea, five. Tea in here. Sorry. Okay, all good. I remember. Remember I said some of my favourite Tonys when we were getting ready? It was obnoxious new Tony.

Oh, obnoxious. Yeah. What reminded you? I don't know. I don't know. No idea. No idea at all. Coming up, Tony's got a theory about not what movies you watch,

but where you watch them. How. How you watch them. How. So think about how you watch your movies and what that says about you because Tony could just shatter your world. Okay. All right.

Yep. But first, I've got a situation where when I say this, lots of people will just instantly squirm. It'll send shivers down your spine, especially you, Tony. Prostate exam. Two

situations. Have you ever had a prostate exam? Have you had to have one? When do you have them? Not from a doctor. I could give you one now if you need. I'm not an expert, but I'll fucking look into it for you. Look into it.

That's the joke. Thank you so much. Funny. Trying to park in a busy shopping centre car park. It's not a fun thought, is it? As you know, I've talked about this on the podcast before, parking makes me so anxious, like the thought of parking. And I Uber so many places.

Just to avoid the park. To avoid thinking about like if I have to parallel park when I get there or whether there'll be parking or whether there'll be an unexpected walk. Now, I thought this was like a cute little thing that you like talked about sometimes. No. But when we were looking for a new home, new studio, there were conversations around that place doesn't have a room

to record or a microphone and Tony's like, but it's parking's good, I reckon that's the one. Versus this place, which doesn't have the best parking. You just park in the street and it's like four hours, so you've got to be careful. Two hours. Yeah, okay, see. But it's a great setup and you're like, we can't work there.

Car parks. It's on the same street as Tony's house, by the way. It is. Yes, it is. It's a long street, but it's still the same street. Yeah, thank you. That's like saying like, oh, bloody Melbourne and Sydney are on the same street because there's a highway that connects them. It's not like that at all.

It's not like that. No, but it's more like that than saying like it's on the corner of my street. It's a walk or a quick scooter ride. Well, actually, okay, can I please defend myself? You may. Actually, now I just use my scooter every day, so it's fine. And even this morning it was raining and I still scooted and it was totally fine.

Yeah. But one of the places, do you remember, that we looked at and it was, like, pretty good set up and I said, you have to ask them if there's parking. And they said there are three spots and on the day that Tony comes in, she can have one. I arranged that for you. I said, oh, usually day that Tony comes in, she can have one. I arranged that for you. I said, oh, usually it's the general manager, the head of a studio,

and someone else. But if that's what Tony needs, then Tony will get the car park, and the general manager can catch the train on those days. And I arranged that for you, and then we went, no, we'll go this other one. It's okay. They're not listening. Yeah, they're fine. We hope.

Thank you so much. When you park in a car park or a petrol station. Do you mean like a supermarket? Yeah, supermarket, petrol station. Sometimes there's a lot of like one way, no exit here. You have to come in this way and go out that way. And sometimes the smaller car parks, it's like you can only go one way. So to get the car park over there, you have to like go around or whatever. And by the time you've gone around,

you've missed it. Someone else will get it. Yeah. Crazy, crazy. So Tony Lodge has this thing that she does. And I'd like to know if anyone else does it, because when I saw it firsthand, I was a little bit gobsmacked. And then I think you may recall a week later I went, oh, I thought you were like having a lull and joking when you did that. And you're like, nah. I literally do it. So when you maybe have to like go down the wrong way to Snag a Park or you're coming in the service station from the wrong entry or whatever.

Or it says no right turn but there's no traffic. Yeah, and you just need to sneak through or whatever. What do you do? And considering on the vodcast people can see this. I'll be, like, at the wheel of my car. Yep. And I'll go, oh, oh, oh, and I'll kind of, like, wave my hands around a bit and be, like, as if,

as I've driven through the no entry or whatever. Yeah. You've only then just realized. Uh oh. Bless you. I'm so glad we're on the vodcast. That's never happened before.

No. Oh my God. It's a vodcast. It's special. And normally I would cut that out, but I can't because. You don't learn new skills like video editing. Yeah. So we have to pay someone now.

So whoever edits this, I wonder if they'll leave it in. Yeah, we can't afford for you to cut it. So you know that you're doing... The wrong thing. But I mean, wrong on the scale of wrong. That's not... How bad is it? Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to call you on that.

Thanks. Yeah, I've been in the car and I'm like, yeah, just take it. Fucking all good. Anyway, so yeah, I'll kind of go, oh, my God. I'll like put my hands on my head and be like, oh, oh, oh, like genuine shock like on the front of Home Alone. So even though you know you're doing the wrong thing, you're pretending that you've just found out.

Yeah, and because I drive like just a little car, I'm like, oh, people would see me and go like, just an accident. Would they? I hope so. And so then I just go, oh, my God. So then if anyone looks at me, they go, fuck, she didn't realise you can't drive in there. Little do they know, they fall right into my truck

and then I get to turn right or park in the spot or whatever and it's just a little bit mischievous. So what are you trying to avoid by doing this? Is it like kind of getting yelled at? Yeah, like maybe a bit of confrontation if someone like beeped at me. If someone beeped at you, what would that do to you? It would depend. If I hadn't done anything, I'd go, what the fuck?

I didn't fucking do anything. You know how you do that in the car? I hadn't done anything, I'd go what the fuck? I didn't fucking do anything! You know how you do that in the car? I don't, but I've seen you. You are a 0 to 100. And you know that the people behind you have seen you put your arms up. Because it's a mime. Basically, for me, driving a car is like a

huge pantomime. And you have to act for the other people around you so that they know whether something has bothered you or not. I need to let them know that I'm not happy with them pulling out. Yes. And how do I do that? I throw my arms around.

I need to let them know, even though it's not true, that I didn't know this was a one-way street in the car park. Yeah, because I don't want them to go through the rest of their day and go, fuck, she didn't know. Or she knew and didn't give a fuck. I don't want people to think that I'm that, but even though that's what I do. Even that's who you are. I want people to go, she didn't know.

Okay. Cut me some slack, you know? I've got a question for you, and I don't know if this is going to derail you and your whole scam. And it is a scam. It's not a scam. It's not a scam. You are.

It's not a scam. I'm not a scam. You are. It's not a scam. I'm not fucking like Isagenix or something. Okay. Like, you know, I'm not a, what's the thing? Pyramid scheme. You are selling something that's not true. You're selling a I didn't know and they're buying. Anyway, that's a side note.

You know how we've talked about the hierarchy of communication? Yeah. This is what I'm going to call the hierarchy of anxiety. Oh, I like that. And the hierarchy of judgment. Oh. Because what you think is you don't want them to judge you for doing the wrong thing, so you just give them a little performance.

Yeah, because I want them to think, oh, she just didn't know. Yeah. Would you – okay. What do you think they think when they see that performance? I reckon they go, oh, she didn't know. Poor love. Oh, sweetheart. I don't need pity.

I just want people to go, oh, she hasn't, like, knowingly done the wrong thing. She's just, like, accidentally done the wrong thing. So when I see you do the hands thing, you're not half arsonate. You're really going for it. Oh, hand it up. The hands are flowing around. It's like an Italian non-Italian story.

Yeah, it's huge. Hierarchy of anxiety. Oh, hand it up. Hands are flowing around. It's like an Italian non-Italian story. And the face is going as well. Hierarchy of anxiety. Would you rather two people per week look at you and think, what the fuck's wrong with her? Because the arms are flailing around. And because every time you're in a cup, you go, oh. Only if I'm doing the wrong thing. So about twice a week.

So would you rather twice a week that happen? Or would you rather once a year someone toots and gives you a strange look? Because I reckon that's the odds of someone giving a shit. Probably the twice a week one. You'd prefer that? Yeah. Than once a year someone going, oh, you're right,

and you go, oh, sorry. Yeah, because can you imagine how long I would talk about and think about that? The whole year. Explain it to me. So that's going to last the whole year until the next one happens. Really? Whereas the twice a week thing, it's just me look like a goof.

Oh, she's so silly. She'd rather look like a goof a hundred times than get one toot. Yeah, because I look like a goof kind of anyway. Like I feel like the barrier to entry for me looking like a goof is so low that I feel like if I'm already in that space, maybe it's fine. If we're already here. Like fucking add the extra hundred on it. We're already at two million. Yeah, keep going, bud.

I would love people to let us know in the episode thread on Facebook. I think people would do that. What they think of Tony's idea that she's, and like I said, I saw it once and I thought it was a lol, and then I saw you do it a few times and I was like, oh, no, this is real. Yeah, and I'm actually pretty sure that I gave you good advice and said just do that. I'm not against it.

It's a good idea. I think maybe just because I'm an arsehole. Someone goes, mate, you got down the wrong way, and I'm like, yeah, sorry. Or just go, yep. No, but see, I wouldn't do that. I would panic that they were going to, like, call the police. Wood tarpers.

No one's going to call the police on me going, I didn't know. They're also not going to call the police. Officer, this guy, like, drove down the thing to Barbies. We don't know who we're dealing with. Will the police laugh at you for that? I don't know. They probably don't answer. No.

Hey, a guy, like, drove weird. Cool. Okay. Thank you so much. This is a kebab shop. Can No. Hey, a guy like drove weird. Cool. Okay. Thank you so much. This is a kebab shop. Can I get a... Yeah. Get some food.

I want people to let us know if they like this. Because people might not have ever heard of this idea and go, actually, now that Tony's explained this... I think that this might be a life hack. A life hack. As she tries to look clever by punching the microphone. I'm so glad people saw that. I'll tell you what you could have also done.

Oh. And this might also rock you. Oh, my God. Is this like a hack off? No. People get to decide whether they like Ryan's hack or Tony's hack? No, no, no. No, I like this hack.

Oh, okay. And I love that you're sharing it and people are going, hey, now there's something new to my repertoire. Yeah. However, when you're driving through a car park and you see some arsehole driving the wrong way and they give a bit of, ah, now we all know that they might be full of shit.

They might be a fan, though. They might be a fan of the podcast. I mean, do you take that? Or they go, oh, that guy isn't making a mistake. He's pulling a Tony Lodge. He knows what he's doing. Oh, so now we can't trust anyone. No. And also, someone is going to actually

freak out one day and someone's going, nah. Nah, don't buy it. You're a tarpa, mate. You know what you're doing. Reverse out of that spot, dickhead. It's mine. See you later. Hey, it's Ariel from Quincy, Illinois, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas

over at our Patreon. Very exciting. You're going to be the first ones on the vodcast. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A visual shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Very exciting. You're going to be the first ones on the vodcast. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A visual shout-out. Look down the barrel. Oh, you can't because you're reading.

I can't because I'm reading. Oh, I could do this. Hang on. DIY auto-prompter. Just hold it in front of my camera so they can't see my face. No one's looking at you. Beep that. No.

Franco, leave that in. Deidre, thank you so much. Benjamin, Kate Monster. Justin Wright. Oh, Justin wrong. Jewel Kosher, thank you so much. Jacob Sackett, love that. Clodagh McKeon, thank you.

Miko Breski, Michael Crossman and Melanie Hens. Oh, Melanie Chickens. I reckon Mel's never heard that. Or that. Sorry, Melanie. Love you, Mel. Thanks for listening. Appreciate it.

Love that. Next week we're going to be watching a Melissa McCarthy movie. We had a list of which ones we should do. And I believe the runaway winner was Bridesmaids. So we were picking between The Heat, Spy, Life of the Party, Bridesmaids and Ghostbusters. And the reason that we decided on this category is because I think you asked in the episode thread on an episode saying like what's your go-to movie

to watch? And Matt Arnott said, my go-to movie is Spy. So funny. Have you done a Melissa McCarthy category yet? Spy, Bridesmaids, The Heats, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Have you seen Spy? So Spy didn't win, unfortunately. It didn't win.

But at this time we hadn't posted the category yet. Have you seen Spy? I haven't. Now, have you seen it? I have. So I replied to Matt and I Spy? I haven't. Now, have you seen it? I have. So I replied to Matt and I said I didn't like it. I thought it was so ridiculous. And it was just the most ridiculous film.

Like I fucking hated it. I'm pretty sure. Like far-fetched kind of. Yeah, and just like so silly. Yeah. And this movie is actually one of Joel Creasy's favourite movies. Really? And it like knocked him down a few pegs for me.

I love Joel Creasy. I've followed him on Instagram forever. You feel that strongly about not liking this movie that you will like people less if they like it. Because he's a comedian, right? That is strong. He's a comedian, right? And he posts like, oh, I love this fucking movie.

And I was like, ooh. Not only do I disagree with you, I hate you for having an opinion. I thought you were for free speech. Yeah, well, I am. But that doesn't mean I can't change my opinion. Okay. I'm not telling him to stop talking. Well, Joel Creasy's been cancelled.

I'm just saying I don't like it. No. Tony is cancelling Joel Creasy. No, I am not. I love Joel Creasy. Beloved Australian, former comedian, Australian who is a lovely guy. Disgraced comedian. Disgraced former comedian.

Have you met Joel Creasy? Yeah. Oh, I've never met him. He's from Perth. Yeah, you guys should be hanging out and talking about Perth shit. Oh, no. Perth, stop. A couple of Perth formalities.

He will never fucking talk to me now. No, well, he won't talk to anyone because he's been cancelled. I really like Joel Creasy, but he posted that he loved this movie and I was like, oh, Joel, that movie was so shit. Like, it was awful. I'm pretty sure I turned it off. Jesus. Why?

That's big chat. What was the scenario? Where were you turning this movie off? This is what I'm worried about. I watched the movie on a plane. Do you think that that affects it? Yeah. But in what direction?

Because I've got a very full-on belief here, but I want to hear your opinion on watching a TV show or a movie or something on a plane. Okay. First of all, you know how I'm a bit of a like production nerd? Yeah. And if a movie like a Christopher Nolan, an Inception, it's something that's like been beautifully shot,

has big surround sound and is like a big epic. I feel like you can't enjoy that on a movie because the screen's so small. On a plane, yeah. And you're kind of like, I'm not saying it's a bad movie, but maybe it's a bad movie for me when I'm in the sky. Totally. Because you're half an hour in and you're like, you can't concentrate fully. And so when a Christopher Nolan movie's a bit confusing, you're like, well, I'm looking

at the thing, I'm looking out the window and question. Yeah, I'm having a drink. You've got to get up because the person needs to go to the toilet. I'm not following it. I'm not appreciating the production. No, so leave that one at home. But you know how – please don't judge me. Already am.

Do you reckon people – I don't want to say turn into a wanker when they fly, but you're kind of like in I'm flying, I'm feeling a bit good about myself. 100%. Yeah, I'm a bit I'm feeling a bit good about myself. 100%. Yeah. I'm a bit fancy. I said chow in Sydney. Travelling changes you, bro.

It does. Yeah. We started saying babe after Sydney. We did. Because that guy at the cafe. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and when you started saying chow, I was like, fuck. I said it one time, okay?

I said chow once. This is Sydney Tony. Put her back in Melbourne. It's a Sydney Tony. I don't like Sydney Tony. You know that it's the only accent I can do? A chowabella. When I'm in the plane, I've watched the entire four seasons of this TV show,

but I've never watched it on the ground because I would never watch it on the ground. Because it's like a guilty pleasure. Because the person I am in the sky can relate of who I think I am because I'm a fancy person when I'm travelling. But real Ryan would never relate to this show. Do you want to guess? It's so embarrassing.

No, I don't. So when I worked in Perth, I flew Melbourne, Perth, back and forth a lot for a year or so. Every time I flew, I watched Ballers with The Rock. Ballers set in Miami and it's The Rock who's this former NFL guy who's like now a finance broker, stock broker,

and he's managing these NFL players and they're driving their Lamborghinis and their Porsches and going to their fancy places, I would be like. And you're in row 46 on a fucking 747. Like, font virgin. Qantas, mate. But like. Second back aisle, row, yeah, in the aisle, 57, right down the back, because I'm close to the bathroom, and I'm watching ballers.

And I'm like, oh, they're making deals with the NFL. Oh, I'm worth more than 7 mil a year because I'm close to the bathroom, and I'm watching Ballers. And I'm like, oh, they're making deals with the NFL. Oh, I'm worth more than seven mil a year because I need my yacht and my girl and my blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, yeah, you tell them, dog. And I would never watch that show on the ground. No. I would hate it on the ground. But when I'm flying and I've had like a little champagne on the flight

and I'm like, I'll watch my fancy show. This is a bit of me. I agree. See, my theory I think stands up to you saying that. So what I think it is is that watching something on the plane makes something really good worse. Yep. But it makes something pretty shit like quite bearable because your standards are so low

yeah it's like airplane food right how about that airplane food but like because you don't have another option or you got limited options it is what it is you're like fuck this is pretty good hey because you can't choose anything else so good good movies are shitter, but shit movies are gooder. Yeah, because you like your standards are so low and because you're like, oh, you know what? I will watch an episode of Modern Family from season four and then, oh, the next one

they've got is one from season seven or something. So you're just like, oh, that person's dead in the show now or whatever. My experience. Good movies. Christopher Nolan, no good. You wouldn't do it because you can't really get in the zone, you can't concentrate. Awful shows like Ballers. Yeah.

I've watched every episode. Yeah. I think it's true. Yeah. So. Yeah. What are you saying about Spy with Melissa McCartney? McCarthy.

What did I say? McCartney. You keep saying McCartney. I've said her name a few different times over my life. Yeah. By Monday, I'll have ironed out what it really is. So, Spy, according to this theory from me, right? Because you hated it in the plane.

No, no, no, no. Because it's, like, a bad film. Because it's just, like, a dumb comedy. It should have been pretty good. In a plane. So, it must be so bad. Or maybe it's have been pretty good. In a plane. So it must be so bad. Or maybe it's so good. No, I don't think that's the case.

You know what? Watch it on the ground. How about we watch it? Two Melissa McCartney movies this weekend. We'll call it a... McCarthy. I told you Monday. And the alliteration, it's a Melissa McCarthy marathon.

Meow-ly-sa, meow-cathy, meow-athon. Yeah, all right, I'll watch both. I'll watch Bridesmaids. So Bridesmaids is the winner. Bridesmaids is what you have to watch over the weekend, and we'll do a wrap about that on Monday. I will also watch Spy. This is going to be fascinating.

And I'll watch Ballers. Mate, you flying somewhere? Alright, you've actually got a lot to do in the episode. Sorry to create work for you but I want to hear about Tony's parking theory and my theory of the planes. I reckon you might be onto

something here. I think it's right. But how good is the fucking plane on an aeroplane? The food on an aeroplane? You know, the plane's pretty good. Yeah. All right. Let's finish up with a you love to see it. I've got one from Liana Brutalin.

Oh, Lina Nana Brunatina, Tom. Who is sometimes referred to as Liana Brunetti, Liana Confetti, Liana Brutal Lynn and Liana Brusselton. Lenina. Lenina was in there, yep. But now she is not just Liana Brusselton, she is Liana Biggest Grin. Did you see this comment? No, what is it?

Liana put it in. You can't have you on, Liana. You'll regret that when you hear this story. It starts bad, but it's a good finish. Okay. Just like hanging out with me. Like ballers? Like ballers.

It's a bad start and it stays shit. Oh, no. We're not going to cut this out, but your screen's just gone to sleep. So I have to fix it in real time? Yep, we're fixing it in real time. Or we close it up to the end of the episode. Oh, okay. Nah, fuck it. Oh, okay. It's showbiz. Everyone's going to fix it in real time? Yep, we're fixing it in real time. Or we close it up to the end of the episode. Oh, okay. Nah, fuck it.

Oh, okay. It's showbiz. Everyone's going to know it's 10am. Oh, we've got some approvers to call at 10 o'clock. Oh no, yours is gone. Oh my god. It must be a two hour time up. Yeah.

Anyway, fuck them. Okay, sorry. Leanna Brutal and now Hazelbriggs Grinch. I just got, oh fuck, I've got to change's Grinch. I just got... Oh, fuck. I've got to change my tone here. I just got out of a very toxic relationship. Oh, Lenina. Abusive, manipulative relationship.

It was a few years ago that I ended it, but it's taken me two full years to finally actually feel free of him, dust myself off, feel like I'm myself again. Oh, my gosh, yeah. That's horrible, Liana. But I can actually draw a line in the sand right now and say two years later

I'm starting to feel love for myself again, gain confidence and be able to say good riddance. I'm super proud of this. It's been the toughest two years of my life

but I've got the right people around me, done the right thing and I'm back. She's back. You fucking love to see that. Oh, fuck that guy. Yeah.

Fuck that guy. Liana Brutalen, however the fuck you want to say your name. Lenina, we're so happy for you. You're like a warm wind coming from the... Under the doona. No. Coming out of your shell, expelling from the darkness that was that place you were in

and whipping yourself into a frenzy of happiness. Can I get you a cape? Nope. I feel like this speech needs a cape. I was really happy with that. Oh, you've got a cap. Could I have that? You saw a cap.

Oh, thanks. Yeah, we don't have a cape, but Ryan's got a cap, so that's fine. Anyway, fucking Liana, I absolutely love to see that. Great job. Thanks so much for being part of the community. Really wish that I had something a bit more wholesome to back that up with. No, no, you go. All good, though.

So I've got a meme by Ollie Threads. Went a bit viral. Yeah. After a couple of slices of pizza, my three-year-old burst into tears. Oh, no. And said, my mouth wants more, but my tummy doesn't. If that's not the most fucking relatable thing I've ever heard in my life. Put that on a T-shirt.

Yeah, the worst thing for me is that I stopped listening to my tummy and just listened to my mouth. Yeah. Just keep putting things in. Yeah. What a... That's beautiful. Thank you.

That is beautiful. Yeah. But if you were watching, hope that you loved our first vodcast. If you were listening, great. It's exactly the same audio. You haven't missed anything except for me sneezing and the screens going off. And now that we know that the screens

have about an hour before the screensaver comes on. That's good. We're learning. We're learning together. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. I hope you enjoy your Meowlissa, Meowcathy, Meowathon over the weekend. I will talk about that on Meownday. Meow.

Meow, meow, meow. And now we We'll talk about that on Meow Day. Meow. Bye. Meow, meow, meow. And now we have to do the newsreader thing. Oh, yeah. I don't have any paper. Just do the mail. So I'm going to do it with my laptop. Fade to black.

Pretend you. Love you. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. play a fucking out of that Play a fucking Adam.