Toni and Ryan - How to choose what to have for dinner

Episode Date: February 21, 2022

Problems of thinking of what to cook for dinner are OVER!! Let us know in our facebook group or at #spotifindmymeal! Love ya! T Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hi, is that Selena? Yes. Hi, it's Tony and Ryan. Hello. Hi, how are you? We're well, and we would love to know if you could approve this podcast for us. I would love to.

Yay! We would love to know if you could approve this podcast for us. I would love to. Yay! This is Selena from the Apple capital of the world in Wenatchee, Washington, and I approve this podcast. Coming up on today's show. What is it? You came in hot this morning, Tony Lodge.

What? And said, I've got a dinner hack. Oh. Now, you came in the other week and said, I've got a hot fact. And I gave you a bit of shit. But the fact was good. Yeah. It was a great fact.

Yeah. So is your dinner hack? Yeah, I'm backing it in. It's a great hack. It's a great hack? Yeah, it is your dinner hack? Yeah, I'm backing it in. It's a great hack. It's a great hack? Yeah, it's going to change your life. My life? Everyone's.

Really? Because what is the worst thing in the world? Trying to decide what to have for dinner. And have I got the hack for you? Well, you know, this could change a lot of lives. Yeah. Because I'm seeing a lot of memes and stuff online at the moment that are literally being like,

do I have to try and figure out what to have to dinner every day for the rest of my life? I know. Do we all take our parents for granted? Yes. That food just rocked up on the table. They had to think about that. They had to buy it.

They had to cook it. Oh, what a nightmare. Yeah, it's the shopping and the ideas of what you're actually going to have. But think no more. Tony's got you covered. Figured it out. Can I just put a little side note in? Please.

Often Bridget will say, oh, what should we have for dinner this week? And I'm like, oh, I'm good with anything. That's actually not what I'm asking. I'm asking you to help. I'm asking you to contribute. See, I thought for years I was doing her a favour by just being so easygoing. Oh, mate, do whatever. I'm fine. No, we don't like that. We, the shoppers and cookers of the house. No, we anxiety people. I'm not the shopper and the cooker. That's what I was saying.

Don't we yourself into that one. I would never, ever, ever. No, I would not say that. Wow. Tony's going to solve all our issues later on. I am. But first up, favourite segment. Lots of people find us from TikTok and Instagram

for this segment, In the Bedroom. And today, things you can say while gardening and also in the bedroom. So this one comes to us from Megan Kiss. And she put it in because she is a horticulturist. Oh. Yeah, so she was like... Hey, so what is she?

A horticulturist. Yeah, a dirty horticulturist. Are you saying that right? Horticulturist? Horticulturist. Yeah, a dirty horticulturist. Are you saying that right? Horticulturist? Horticulturalist. What did I say? No, a horticulturist. I think you're missing some L's there, mate.

Or am I adding some L's? Horticulturalist. It's not a list. It's horticulturalist. Horticulturist. No, horticulturist. Let me Google it. No, so it's horticulture. Horticulturist. Horticulturist let me google it no so it's horticulture horticulturist horticulturalist

horticult like if you were into culture you'd be a culturalist not a culturist no i'm pretty sure it's horticulturist not horticulturalist a nursery no it's horticulturist i'm googling it it's horticulturist. I'm Googling it. It's horticulturist. So I've been saying that wrong my whole life? I mean, are you fucking shocked? I'm not fucking shocked, no. I'm not shocked at all. And the top line of hers was,

this is a mighty fine shaft on your pole. So some good stuff to come. All right, do you want to go first? Tony, would your boyfriend Torb's mind if I cut his grass? Mate, we can't afford a lawn. Don't be stupid. You've got room for it, though, in that courtyard. Yeah, a lot of grass as well on the... Don't point down there.

Sorry, sorry. Could you plough this? Yes. How aggressive is the word plough? Plough. I'm going to plough you. Oh, what happened last night? I took her word plough? Plough. I'm going to plough you. Oh, what happened last night? I took her out and ploughed her.

Oh, no thanks. No, thank you. No, thank you. Great route. That is very funny. Yeah, very good. That is one dirty hoe. Do you hate dirty hoes, do you? No, I love them.

It's really hard to find a loyal hoe in this town. But fortunately... Oh. I've come prepared. The thing, is that a sickle? It's a hoe. I don't think it is. Do you know how hard it was me to organise and to hide a hoe in the studio?

I'm very impressed. Is it not a hoe? I don't think that's a hoe. Then what am I holding in my hand? It looks like a sickle thing. What's a sickle? See, this is a hoe. It's got a flat end. What's this? That's the thing that the Grim Reaper holds. Oh. Yeah.

Well, I'm not about to end your life. Well, I'm going to bury something in you, but I'm not going to bury you. I'm pretty sure that's a sickle. Can I tell you about this, what I thought was a hoe? Hang on. Let me find out if that's a sickle. That's a sickle. Yeah, fuck me till you make me sickle. All right. I'm so disappointed.

I am amazed because you are holding a literal sickle, which is very funny, and you thought it was a hoe, which is even funnier. But tell me the story of how you came to get this in your possession because it's fucking pointy. You could do some fucking damage with that. You're telling me. That's not one, yeah. So I messaged mum, and this is so awkward, and said,

Mum, is there a hoe in here? Mum, have you got a hoe? Yeah, and she's like, what do you mean? And I was like, can you just bring a hoe around because she came around to the house yesterday. Did you bring a hoe? Yeah, and she's like, what do you mean? And I was like, can you just bring a hoe around because she came around to the house yesterday. Did you bring a hoe? Yeah. I was like, no, tell Candy to go away.

I meant the gardening utensil. So she put her in the boot and then got this out. And then she said to me, I assume this is for a podcast joke because there's no way you would ever do any gardening around the house. And then I had to hide this, what is now a sickle, sneak it into the building without you seeing, which was a hassle. Yes, I imagine. And it wasn't worth it.

No, it's still very, I mean, it's funnier for me, though, than it is for you. Fuck, that is so funny. Oh, no, it's still very, I mean, it's funnier for me, though, than it is for you. Fuck, that is so funny. I love that being a bloody idiot apparently runs in your family because your mum doesn't know what a hoe is either. Glad something runs in my family.

Oh, you're going to have to plant that much deeper. That's all I've got. A shallow. I saw this comedian and he was saying like when, you know, the classic things that girls be like, oh, harder. And he's like, yep, I can do that. And she's like, oh, faster. Yep, I can do that.

Deeper. No. Like it's, that's where it's at, mate. And now it's time to hose you down. Oh. Oh. Okay. All right.

Righto. Please give me your seed. I don't think I've ever seen your face make that shape before. The word seed is just so strange and aggressive. Oh, it's old school. What's face make that shape before. The word seed is just so strange and aggressive. What's that band that had the song The Seed? They're now on The Tonight Show. Roots?

Yeah. What? Yeah. Their first life banger song was called The Seed. Okay. Are you doing a gardening joke because they're called The Roots? No. Oh!

I'm trying to give you facts. I thought you were setting me up and, like, doing a bit. Like, oh, what's that band called? I was like, roots. I was like, why are you waiting for a punchline? There ain't nothing coming, mate. Do you want me to get the hole out again? I thought you were setting me up and being like,

oh, what's that band from the night show? I'm like, yeah. Yeah, no. Yeah, okay. God, we're off today. Be careful. There's snakes in the grass. Oh, there will be.

Oh, I've got a little prick in me. You've heard that before? Heard that before. Gee, your neighbours keep it tidy, doesn't she? You shouldn't be looking over the fence, mate. Plenty enough in your yard. There is. Make sure you pop a hat on before you start.

A Legionnaire's cap. With the fly pop on the back. When I was in primary school, we had to wear a Legionnaire's hat. Oh, I think every primary school had that as well. But then we would, like, fold the flap up into the hat and the teacher's like, no. No. No hat, no play, no school today. No hat, no play.

Yeah. I was like, fine, I'll stay inside. They're like, you actually have to go out. Yeah. You, sir, you need to go out. I used to do this with my granny. Bless her soul. God rest her soul.

The grim reaper took her with the black sickle. I gave your granny the hoe. Oh. I gave your granny the hoe. If I trim the grass around the deck, it makes the deck look a bit bigger. That ain't a gag. That's straight facts. That's just, yeah. You're going to have to hold on to that hose really tightly because it tends to pop off when you least expect it.

Whoa! And I'm just covered every time. Isn't it funny when you're younger when you turn the hose on full ball and you're not holding it and it's just swinging around everywhere? Oh, like a big snake? Yeah. Love a big snake. Also in the garden.

Why are there so many ants? Unless something's sticky on the floor. Your hose got away from you. The great thing about this is that you can do it inside or outside. Well, indoor gardens and plants really has taken off. First we need to go to Bunnings and then we can do it. Of course. Priorities.

The great Saturday morning tradition. Get a sausage at Bunnings and a sausage at home. Saturday morning tradition. Get a sausage at Bunnings and a sausage at home. This is Selena from the Apple capital of the world in Wenatchee, Washington, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Tomorrow on the show, Normal or Nah, anyone with a penis is faced with this predicament. Yep.

Predicament. And anyone that lives with someone with a penis probably has their two cents they want to throw into this predicament as well. Amazing. And can I just get real for a sec? Yeah. What?

I'm really disappointed that my hoes are sickle. I'm sorry, mate. I tried so hard. No. I love a visual gag on a podcast. I know it makes no sense, but I've. Can I say, though, it is still very funny because you went to all that effort. So much effort.

And the fact that it was wrong is just even funnier. And the fact that my mum rinsed me for something that wasn't even, that she stuffed up. Yeah. And also the fact that you weren't at your house last night. No. You were staying away from your home. So I had to travel back home.

So you drove all the way home and then to the studio. Yeah. My wife's in a hotel and my hoe's at home. Yeah. She's usually the other way around though, isn't it? Got to get me life in order. All right. A big thank you to a few of our champion tapas, Daniel Cross,

Kendra La Trobe, Venita and Ole Martin M. Thank you so, so much. Thank you and welcome. Now, Tony has promised us that the daily struggle of trying to figure out what the F are we going to have for dinner. Is over. It's over. Fucking kiss your shopping list goodbye.

Don't actually. You still need the shopping list, but I'm going to make it easier for you to figure out what to put on it. If you're listening to us in the car, pull over. Get out a notepad and pen. If Monique DeRose is listening on the treadmill, pause it for a second. Pause it, doll. You're going to write this down.

Your life's about to change. If George Wendell is in the middle of an orgy, pop it out for a sec. Yep. Write this down. Write it down. Okay. Are you ready?

Is this a good hack? Fuck, I better be. Let me set the scene. You can't figure out what to have for dinner. Yeah. Your partner is like, oh, what should we go and get from Coles for the stuff for dinner this week? And you're like, oh, I just don't know, or your housemate or whatever.

I can't be bothered. Oh, God, but we had sausages last week. We can't have pasta again. Can I just? Yeah. You can't have it again. Yeah, you can't. I'm big on, hey, great meal.

Cook it four times this week. I don't give a shit. Do you do that thing where it's like you get obsessed with something so you eat it like nonstop and then you hate it and then you have it like six months later and you go, why did we stop doing that thing? This is great. This is great.

And then you eat it for another like. I do think it's like a society pressure that you can't have the same meal twice. Oh, heaven forbid. Yeah. We need to change it up. It doesn't really bother me but it isn't my favourite thing because I just really enjoy having, like, sitting down for dinner. So I actually just like looking forward to something different.

But I'm happy to have leftovers for lunch or whatever. That doesn't bother me. But this hack's going to solve all these issues anyway. Yeah, I mean, you'll fucking want to cook all the time. This is so easy. All right. You can't figure out what to have for dinner. You're sitting down to write your list for the week.

Yep. Open up your phone. Pop Spotify on shuffle. What? Yeah. I know. What? What's she talking about?

She's gone crazy. She has lost it. Nah, I haven't gone crazy. I've gone sane. Finally. 100 episodes in. All right. Put Spotify on shuffle.

Look at the artist's Instagram and look at the last food that they posted a picture of and that's what you're having for dinner. This is unbelievable. Alternatively, what you could do is Google, say you're listening to ballpark. Let's try it right now. Should we do it in real time? Oh, yep. Say you're listening to do is Google, say you're listening to ballpark. Let's try it right now. Should we do it in real time? Oh, yep.

Say you're listening to, what should we say we're listening to? Kylie Minogue? No, no, put it on shuffle. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, no, I feel really judged. Get ready to be judged, mate. You've come in hot.

Childish Gambino. Okay, I'll look up his Instagram. Hang on, am I looking up Childish Gambino or Donald Glover? His Instagram is under Donald Glover. It is. Oh, he hasn't posted any food. What shall we do? All right, do you know the backup plan?

This hack is not working. He doesn't have any food pics. Do you know the backup plan? I love Donald Glover. Google Donald Glover. Hmm? Food. Doesn't have any food pics. Do you know the backup plan? I love Donald Glover. Google Donald Glover food. And the first thing that comes up when you Google Donald Glover food is a bunch of videos, him being ripped on stage. Atlanta forced a popular restaurant chain to add this food to its new menu.

Yep, so then you're making that for dinner. What is it? I'm opening it. No, it's a good idea. Okay. Anyway. I can't even figure out the article. As we know.

Just tell me what the ingredients are. Don't give me the. All right. All right. All right. All right. What's the next song? Arctic Monkeys.

I'm off a bed at a shirt. All right. Are you Googling? Yeah. Or are you Instagramming? Because I'll do the other one. I'm off a bed at a shirt. All right. Are you Googling? Yeah. Or are you Instagramming? Because I'll do the other one. I'll Instagram. Okay.

Okay, the last food pic. There's no food pics on band pages. Tony, this doesn't make sense. No, it does. Okay, the last. That's a horse. I don't think that's supposed to be a meal. No, don't make sense. No, it does. Okay, the last... That's a horse. I don't think that's supposed to be a meal. No, don't add that.

Oh, there's a picture of them eating a burger. We're having burgers this week. It could not be simpler. As I said, the idea, brilliant. Great. The execution and reality? Also great. Tough.

It is tough. Such a good hug. Let me say this. That it's great. You're welcome, mate. I know. It's such a good idea. Everyone.

Yes. Try this tonight yourself. Yes. Actually, what's the hashtag? Hashtag Tony's Meal Prep. Tony's Meal Prep. Tony's Meal Prep? Yep. Okay.

Was thinking more of a playlist food shop, but Tony's Meal Prep is fine. What about Spotify Find My Meal? Yes. Spotify Find. My Meal. Yep. So, S-P-O-T-I-F-I-N-D-M-Y-M-E-A-L.

I'm writing it down. Please do. It'll be in the episode thread. Tell me A, if you believe in the concept, and B, what you actually are planning now having, what you are now planning to have for dinner. Tell us the artist and the food that ended up coming from it. I think it's a great fucking idea.

It's a good fucking idea. Let's see. Okay. My You Love To See It is a futuristic You Love To See It, and it's going to be that I love to see that people are using the Spotify and My Meal and they love it. No, I do have a real one. A story of neighbours has gone viral.

A guy in Queensland got a text from his neighbour saying, hey, mate, could you take my bins out? Like, obviously he was away for the weekend or whatever. And the guy was like, yeah, all good. And then sent him a series of photos of him taking the wheelie bin to the surf club, to Hungry Jack Jack's and then took him to the pub on the way home and was like, hey, mate, took your bin out. That's brilliant.

It's very, very funny. But did he still leave it out? Or did he, after his big day out, put him back in and it still didn't get emptied? Well, there's a picture of him at the beach and at the Hungry Jack's. Hungry Jack's drive-thru. I was living his best life. Well done. You love to say that. You love to say that. You know how I cry when I see those videos of

when the military parent comes back and surprises the family. Every time. Yeah, yeah. And I think I mentioned the other day this guy with one leg adopted a three legged dog and they were like best friends now. Yeah. There's a new category that does me up. I can't cry anymore at the internet. Yeah. When the child who has been colour blind until now gets the glasses and they see colour for

the first time. Yep. Yep. Oh. Or a child getting hearing aids. Every single time. And hearing their mother's voice for the first time and stuff. Oh, it kills me.

So they get about two seconds of pure joy and then they just go to ground because it's just so overwhelming as it would be. Oh, it would be, yeah. And then when I see them go, oh, count Ryan in three, two, one, blobbering mess. What? Is that not the word?

Blobbering. What did I say? Blobbering.. What? Is that not the word? Blobbering. What did I say? Blobbering. That's probably both. Sounds. Both work. Both are fine. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. Oh, no. They send me as well. Yeah. Hey, thank you so much for listening today. Thank you. I'm curious about Spotify and my meal. More like Spotify.

More like Spotify and my meow. Don't get confused, though. That's not the hashtag, meow. Tomorrow on the show, normal or nah? We've got a penis predicament. Sorry, I think I'm thrown by the sickle still. Oh, I'm sorry, mate. I mean, you do get that on the big jobs.

These things happen. Nothing throws you like a hoe not being what you thought it was going to be. Exactly right. That makes me sickle. All right, we'll chat to you tomorrow. Poor Mandy. We'll have to call her out for that. I have to take this back home.

Oh, you know who's really fucked that up? Who? Meowndy. Your meowm. She's not going to be getting anything for Meowvers Day. What are you doing? Oh, it's so sharp. Why is it so sharp?

I'm sickling your pickling. Ow. Oh. Why is it so sharp? I'm sickling your pickling. Ow! I don't know about that sickle. Meow.