Toni and Ryan - How To Pee In A Leotard

Episode Date: August 5, 2026

Mabel's musical - Normal or nah - Tonella and Ryano Seasoned 2 - Ep 3 thanks to KFC’s New WICKED menu - love ya!!!!!Video for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The other option is a pull across, but you can't do that until you're much older. Yeah. Like, you need to be very skilled. Do you need a license for that? You know how you have a pen license or joining license? Yeah. It's close. Do you have a pull across license for that leotage? Can you slide over?

No, legally I can't. Hi, I'm Kate from the Hunter Valley, New South Wales, Australia. Hi, I'm Tom from Dubbo Australia. Hi, I'm Kat from Columbia, Missouri and I approve this podcast. The season finale of Tanla and. Rihano is coming up today. Episode three. Episode three.

Will Tonella ruin her mama's legacy or will she keep the secret? We'll find out today. You'll find out. And so will I. I don't know yet. Also, Tony thinks she's better than me and better than us. That's true. I stand by that.

Tony made this wild claim the other day. I don't know if you were in the room, Charles. And it was probably correct. That a dance recital and a musical are like two separate things. they are because Mabel's doing one coming up they're doing

what did you say she's got a dance thing on and even dance thing isn't a musical so they're doing what are they doing again I don't think you told me you just said that

because I said when is it in canto in canto yes sorry and I said can we all go or like what's the vibe and you're like oh yeah well they're doing a few shows like it's on for the weekend or whatever

yeah three shows Hot ticket. And I was like, oh, is it like a, I thought it was a dance recital. And you went, yeah, they're doing Enkanto. I said, well, not. So it's like a musical. And you're like, yeah, yeah, she like a couple of the tiny toes like dance classes get to be in like, you know, the ensemble. Yeah.

Yeah. So it's not a dance recital. But it's like, I still want to go. Yeah. But just the. I just think that like, well, no. Well, it's not. It's a musical.

And also if your daughter is in a musical, I mean, that's huge. That's celebratory. Yeah. And you're just like, oh, some dance thing. What, do you not love her? Well, I think that considering I've put on for her, not myself, the costume, probably five or six times a day since she got it. Yeah. And you don't even know whether it's a musical or not.

Do you listen? Turn your tarting is on. You need to be listening at home. If your daughter's in a musical, you need to be listening. I am listening to a lot of Encanto songs. We watched Encanto for the pod, didn't we? I think so, yeah, because it looked familiar. That's crazy.

How many numbers is she in? Oh, fucking hell. Like, is she in one dance? Is she in six? I don't want on one dance. Well, she's learning a few different ones. had to go and get like dancing shoes. Oh, what kind?

Um, ballet shoes. Like little ballet flats. Yeah. It's cute. A little flat. Very cute. She got a little rainbow skirt. Amazing.

And it was her first leotard. Oh, you never forget you first. Well, it's hard to explain the concept of a leotard. Yeah. It's also hard to do ways. Like as a little kid, like I remember doing, because I did dancing from when I was like four or five. Um, it's hard to understand.

Yeah. And so she's like, but is it a shirt or is it undies? And you go, well, it's sort of both. It's hard to tell. And then, so we've had a few bathroom trips where she goes, what do I do? And I go, that's actually a great question. Yeah. I actually, I actually don't know.

Yeah, because you've got to go all the way off. We've been full nude in some weird places. But you have to go all the way off because the other option is a pull across. No. But you can't do that until you're much older. Yeah. Like you need to be very skilled. There's something about being.

And I, like, like, I know I take the piss out of a lot of stuff, but you've got to be very skilled to do the pull across with the leotard. There's something. You do. Yeah. Do you need a license for that? You know how you have a pen license or a joining license?

It's close. Yeah. It's close. Do you have a pull-across license for that leotardardtard? Can you slide over? No, legally I can't. It's intense stuff. So it's intense doing the pull-across.

What's, I wouldn't say intense, but strange, is seeing someone fully naked but in ballet flats in a Westfield. Yeah. Yep, no, that is interesting. So hang on, are you getting about in the dance class outfit? She just loves it. She's so proud because she's got her outfit. Oh, so she's wearing that to the shops and stuff.

Every day, I'm like, where's Mabel going? Oh, she's probably putting that thing on. And because we just set up a, I don't think I've told you this. We just set up a dress, a dress-ups costume, like cupboard. Oh, I did know that. Oh, Bridget Tommy. Yeah. So we've got a separate cupboard that's just for fun dress-ups.

That's awesome. Never throw out a dress-up. It's good advice. Wouldn't throw out a. Tonella and Riano tea. outfit because it wouldn't fit in your luggage from Italy, not knowing that KFC would sponsor it three months later. Yeah. So you wouldn't do that?

No. But she has a dress-up thing. You wouldn't throw out those huge heads from the cricket. That would have been great to use at different separate times. Yeah. Wow. Sorry. I think you know a guy.

I'm feisty. You are. Do you need some KFC? It's the wicked range. Wicked rage. Oh, hey, and I was going to say something really clever and important. She's got the dress-ups clever. cupboard. Everyone in the Tony and Ryan group chat at work here saw Mabel dressed up because when I

was sick I said, don't worry, the doctor's taken care of me. Yeah. And it was a doctor's coat with a high-vis tradie shirt and a rainbow skirt on. Get your girl that can do all three. Yeah. Yeah. Because now that we got the dress up and I remember my grandma and grandpa used to have a dress-up cupboard. So every time I went to grandma and grandpa's, we're like, oh, let's go dress up and wear fun stuff. Yeah. And I now love that we've got a dress-up cupboard at home. I feel like, because I never had it as a kid. Oh, come around. Well, I do love it, but one of my girlfriends whose house I went to,

and it was like, that was the fun thing to do. It was like, oh, Ebony has a dress up area. Yeah. Yeah. Was Ebony hot? I feel like Ebony's a hot. It's the hot name. She is beautiful now as well, yeah.

Yeah. Like, and she's quite tall. I'm surprised. I'm married to a Bridget and not an Ebony. Yeah. And that, I've always thought that. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's do normal honor. Thanks to KFC. Did they sponsor this as well? No. Oh, no. Not thanks to them, no. Tapa Jemma has a normal honor. Hi, Gemma.

Having a meltdown at the Aldi checkout. Oh, normal. I brave Aldi and every week I crumble. When the cashier starts hurling my groceries, I'm fine with self-bagging in theory, but in reality it's so stressful. Take notes, child. It's a condom joke.

Oh, that's fun. Thanks. That's very fun. Thank you. Because he's single and like hooks up with a haves of tapas. Yeah. You got to tap up with those tapas, Charles. I've always said that.

Are these feelings normal for anyone else? Ask Gemma. Totally normal. I avoid Aldi for that reason. Really? Because I love all their stuff. Yeah. The food is great.

The cheese is unbelievable. I think the chocolate is underrated. Oh, You've said, I don't think I've tried it, but you've said that. That's really good. And also, this is crazy. Their wine is strangely good. Yeah, I have been told that.

Yeah. You know how I'm currently into LurPak the butter? Yeah. Apparently, I type of message me the other down on Patreon and said that the Aldi LurPak jupe is better than LurPak because it's got less ingredients in it. Wine them up. Like it's literally just salt and cream. Have we ever done like a butter tasting?

Yes, we literally just did that. I thought you were doing a beer. We literally just did that. I thought you were doing a bit because we did just actually do that. And what a crazy thing that we've actually already done. Like imagine saying someone's like, oh, have we ever talked about that time when I wrestled dinosaur? And you go, well, no. Yeah, three days ago.

You know? Yeah. So I just watched Flintstones. Still no one else is watched it. That's okay. Dinosaurs on the brain. Oh, Jake that is with you. It stays with you.

Tava Alfie. Oh. Topper, Aldi. Alfie. Washing your hands before pulling up your pants. After peeing, I wash my hands before pulling up my pants so I don't get germs on my pants. Normal or nah? Nah for me, but I'm not fucking handle on a hose.

Do you know what I mean? That's not true. You're handling a big fire hose back home. Not, but not when I wear. Oh, true. You know what I mean? Like I've handled in the past, but I'm not, you know. Yeah.

See, the theory I'm as in like, well, yeah, like, of course you, when I want to put your jammy hands on your clothes. Yeah. But I'm picturing some guy kind of walking like Troy Dan. Wobbling back over to. Yeah. Trying to keep his pants up with wide legs. Yeah.

Waddling, cock out. And I think that cock out would be like over the zip. Yeah. Which is dangerous territory, dangerous territory. Yeah. I think like that with the like I don't want to get gems my pants. I do get the theory like you said, but I don't. I'm touching like if you're sitting down on a chair in public, your pants are germy.

So true. Like if like the second you go anywhere, it's like they're going to be on your clothes, which is why people say like, oh, I don't wear outside clothes inside or. I don't wear outside clothes on my bed, which I understand. I don't care, but. That's too far. No. No, no.

I don't wear inside clothes out because they've got food on them. You know what I mean? But like if you've been out all day, you know how, I mean, it's not for germs. It's for comfort. But as soon as I get home, like, I'll put my nighty on or whatever. Exactly what you just said. I didn't even know that germs was a reason you would do that. I just thought it was purely a comfort, like, settling kind of energy.

For me, it's just comfort. But like, people with OCD that have like germ. like, aversions and stuff like that or a hypersensitive to that. I totally get it, but that's not why I do it. Yeah. But yeah, I think, are your pants germy straight away? I don't know. Like, I do this all day.

Like, I touch my, like, I touch myself all day. I do. I touch myself. But the scene from Austin Powers where, like, their fembots are like, go ahead, blim. Um, finally, Carla. Hi, Carla. Carla Conti.

Normal, well, it's funny you say that. Normal or nah. I taste my own vagina before my partner goes down on me. Just to make sure I'm tasting delicious. I always put my hand down there and then taste it. Is this normal or no? Slai. I don't do that.

Um, not because I'm like, oh no, I wouldn't. Like, I would. And I have. But it's not like, do you know, I guess some people would be like, oh no, that's like... Oh, Carla also said, I'm not sure if this is a normal or nah, or maybe you should put it as a confession anonymously. Slay.

Okay, we haven't done it anonymously. I hope that's all right. Oh, she's just giving us segment options, which is lovely, isn't it? I did. I remember, like, talking with a girlfriend who said that she hooked up with a guy and she sucked his dick and then went to kiss him and he was like, oh, nah. Which I'm like... Grow up.

Grow the fuck up. Throw the fuck. Like, I don't really mind like a full circle situation. I think that's fine. So is that guy also going to not let her suck his dick after they've had sex? Oh, I see. I don't know. Because if you're like...

If that's out, then surely... Then fuck you. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Totally. But like, are you fine with that? Like, the full circle thing, I think that's fine.

You've seen me do some horrific shit. Do you know what I mean? Like, I think that's all good. I think that's all good. I think that this is laying, if it makes you feel a little bit better and like, you're like, nah, it's tasting good. Then, it's awesome. I've never thought about it, though.

And you know what? No man has ever been like, oh, I hope my dick tastes good today. They just don't give a fuck. They actually don't. And they should because sometimes it's off. Sometimes it's not good. No. Sometimes.

It's been a hot, sweaty day. It's a bad time. And even, oh, you don't have to. Today. Later then. Like, after I've had a shower or I'd be. someone's hosed me down. Or like if you've had a long day,

I would be like, oh, I'll just hop in the shower first. Or should we hop in the shower first? Like there's a way to slut it up. Hang on. Let's do this three different ways. Okay. The first way is like you don't really want to do it. So you're having a shower instead of sexy time.

I don't know what that would mean. Why would I have a shower instead of how? Just be like, oh, can you just give me a minute? Yeah. And hope that they forgot. Yeah. Oh, so I've had a really long doubt. I might just have a shower and let's see how I'm feeling.

And now you're going to do, let me have a shower first so I can come back clean, then we'll do it. If you can give me two minutes, I'm just going to jump in the shower and then I'm all yours. That was hotter than the new wicked menu from T IFC. Livid a time I'm like, and now. You guys didn't even react. I thought that was a really hot thing to say. No one said a thing. Ryan did go

That was cool But Daniel, I think Danielle think she's better than us Yeah Danielle We get it you're hot Daniel

Is it true that earlier today You said Maybe I'm just beautiful I was kidding I was kidding But you did say that She wasn't kidding I did say that

Now the third one is Come into the shower with me Well I would probably So this is more action based Start undressing torps And lead him in with me Would you lead him in by the penis? Sure.

Isn't that hilarious? Grab him by the cock and walk away. Like a lead. Like a lead. No. We've had a miss on that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah, okay, good, good.

Hi, I'm Kate from a Hunter Valley, New South Wales, Australia. Hi, I'm Tom from Dubbo Australia. Hi, I'm Kat from Columbia, Missouri, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. God. Sorry, we're laughing at. carrying someone by their soft penis to the bathroom. Directing him through this. This is way sir.

Yeah. A massive shout out to you about your husband. Like it's like you're helping your nana walk to the car. You know, like with her limp cold hand. Link bad and like you. Oh, watch the step, sweetheart. There's a visualization. Yeah.

Sorry about that, everyone. A massive shout out for a view of our champion. I'm a major on. Trevor Chapman. Good on you, Treve. Thanks, Chapo. Chris Rod. Love to see it, Chris.

Thank you so much. Tegan Parsons. Sorry, I've just had a fucking meltdown. Tegan Parmiston. Tegan Parsonson. Parsonson, son. Tegan Parsonson. The Parsonson cheese.

Parsonson cheese. Oh, I was just parsonson water bottle. Okay. Anarchy, thank you very much, Anarchy. Carly, good on you, Carly. She's not nice today. She's a bit naqui. Yeah.

She's in Naki. Alexandra Lackawicks. Thank you very much, Alexandra. Tegan Davis O'Connor and Colette Muro. Thank you very much. And we're going to hit you up with the third and final installment of Season 2 of Tonela and Riano. Beep. Welcome back for the final episode of Tonella and Riano, Season 2.

Thanks to KFC's limited time, Wicked Menu. Last time in Porto Tapo, secrets were revealed. real fathers were discovered. And a 50-year lie came crashing down. Now the business hangs in the balance, and Tonella must choose, her family or her morals. Tonella practices her answers for the conference of chicken cookers with a K in the mirror. But a visitor arrives.

Johnny, what are you doing here? I'm about to get up on the conference of chicken cookers with a K stage and speak about the mamma's a chicken. Well, don't tell the conference of chicken cookers, cook is spelled with a K that your mama actually stole the recipe from the colonel. Oh, I'm not good at lying. But I am good at acting. I think I will just pretend Mama didn't steal the recipe from Kentucky and pretend that my father isn't the kernel.

Excellent. Now, would you like to eat some of the KFC wicked sauce that makes you reveal deep truths? Oh, of course. I stopped listening when you said KFC because of course. As Tonella eats the chicken, not realizing it will make her reveal deep truths. Evil Johnny leaves with that evil look in his eye. The town square is bustling with Italian chatter. Oh, pleago, perifor.

Bon sando. What the fuck, Charles? Bonzono. Bonzono. Oh. Oh! Tonella is nervously waiting to speak to the conference of chicken cookers with a K. Rihanna is by her side eating a KFC Wicked Chocolate Lava Brownie.

Hashtag sponsored, hashtag ad, hashtag try the wicked chocolate larva brownie now in store. Riano wishes her luck. Tonalla, I love you. I am so proud of you. Oh. I am saying this because I believe it, but I'm also trying to get into the good book so I can hit that Italian cake later. Here in Italy we just call it gag And I still don't really get our deal on no deal work

Both Tonella and Rihano look confused As to why they just blurted out their deep truths Tonella is called on stage And the host invites attendees to ask questions Evil twin Johnny Walks up to the microphone with that evil look in his eye Tonella What is the truth about the mama's chicken recipe

Who came up with it And also Who did you? your daddy. My mama stole the recipe from KFC founder Colonel Sanders in Kentucky. He had a strange accent. She met him mad sweet, sweet love to him, stole his recipe and he is my father and the grandfather of rich peppy Charles. The whole town is shocked.

The gasps are heard all around. Tonella goes home. Devastated, having ruined her mother's legacy and destroying their few. as the airs to the Mama's Chicken Shop. The following morning, Tonella and Rihano. That sounded like a bad D&B song, Charles. The following morning, Tonella and Riano are sitting around the kitchen table. Tonella, how is your Italian coffee?

We just call it a coffee here. Riano picks up the Porto Tarpo Daily newspaper. Rihanna suddenly gets a big smile on his face. Tonella! The newspaper say everyone still loves your chicken. And they all kind of already knew it was like KFC. That's why they loved it. Oh, sleigh.

Oh, sleigh. And they respect and love you for being an authentic, truthful, sexy lady. Tonella looks shocked, then happy. Then says, it's magnificent. This is a magnificent. Everyone in Porto Tapo thinks you will be a great. Harris for Mama's Chicken. Tonella says that's stupendous.

Stupendal. They also think you should be the chairwoman of the Conference of Chicken Cookers, Cookers with a K. Tonella says that sounds fabulous. That's fabulous. Also, Tena Smith followed you on Instagram. Tonella says the world is beautiful. The world's purlissimo.

We should celebrate with some KFC wicked burgers, wicked boneless dipped in wicked sauce, and wicked chocolate lava brownies hashtag sponsored hashtag ad and maybe a glass of Italian baubley it's just called the bubbly here Mama Lavella retired

to enjoy the rest of her life relaxing she loves the beach and loves watching the sailors coming to the port my nickname is the port Tonella and Riano took over the restaurant Rich baby Charles looked more and more like his grandfather every day. Provinimal.

Johnny's plan to ruin the family backfired. Badly. So badly, it made Tonella and Riano famous for being Porto Tarpo's most honest and authentic chick fluences. Make sure you check out the new KFC Limited Time Wicked Menu available in Australian stores now. Hashtag KFC Limited Time Wicked Menu hashtag's concert hashtag ad. Tinella and Riano live happily ever after. They are so happy together, they kiss. Oh, Belisimo!

Oh, Belisima. Oh, this is wicked. Until next time, Irivedici. Orivederci. Oh, amazing stuff. Can you believe that? That I'm so happy for them. What a rock.

They're going to live happily ever after running Mama's Chicken Shop in Porto. Excellent work, Danny and Ryan on the, on the script. Thank you. Thank you. Very, very, very good. And Charles, you're acting? Yeah. It might have gotten worse since last time.

That's okay. I think it's getting up to a point where we could probably use him on the podcast. Now, very impressed. Thank you, team. And thank you. Like I said, the world works in mysterious ways. And I can't believe a brand would attach themselves to Tonella and Riano. It was amazing.

Thank you to KFC. Yeah. That was really. really fun. That was really, really fun. I do, to round out the week, I do have you love to see it here. This is really beautiful. Esty Anderson sent this through on Patreon and said, I know you love a good, heartfelt you love to see it.

And a few months ago, a family from Korea moved into the house across the street from us. And after a few weeks, I opened my door and I find this sweet note and gift from the wife inviting you over for coffee. Oh, wow. which is nice like neighbourly thing to do. Esty said she explained that she can't speak any English and was hoping though that we could be friends. Yeah, okay. She left her phone number and said like,

I've got a translator up for English. And so Esty went over there. They spent two hours in person like talking through their phones. So like typing in responses and then like playing the translate out loud like on Google. That's so cool. Isn't that amazing? So I sat there for two hours chatting, getting to know each other, and they've each got, they've each got two kids around the same age.

The kids love each other. Yeah, great. So they've got like best friends in the street now. Yeah. And Esty says, despite the complete language barrier, we've become really good friends. I absolutely love to see it. And how fucking great is technology?

Isn't that so cool? That is amazing. I will also say that. Like, obviously Esty Slay for sharing that. an amazing work. But huge ups to the woman for being like, you know what? I really,

I want to make friends and probably like want to improve my English a little bit. Going to a country where you don't know their language and putting yourself out there, writing a little note is massive, huge respect. And I just love to, like, yeah,

and I can't fucking chat to my neighbour and she can't speak English and she can still make an effort. Do you know what? Like fucking, you know? It's really sweet, eh? That is really sweet. And when Eski sent that,

I just had that actual goose butt. Like, it just made me feel so warm inside. So lovely. Yeah, I feel warm inside, but it's because of the wicked. Luke. Oh, Luke. Hi, Luke. I'm on, he's on vacation.

So. At Dollywood in Tennessee. Cool. And I just came across this person, no, I came across this DVD that was sale. And my best friend beside me goes, oh, that's something your stupid podcast would laugh at. Um, so it's a DVD that, um, it's like a documentary about this part of the mountain. Yep, and it's called Mount Leconte. Mount lecunter.

Mount lec. Mount the. Uh, my best friend then said, Mowner, I hardly know it. Oh, well, Luke, you've got a type. if we're your friends and that person's your friend then that's good but the name of this DVD is Mouth La C and I just

don't know how that gets signed off for a documentary about a national park Sorry question I don't know if I have I gotten mixed up Why are they selling that at Dollywood? Oh I think he's just travelling and they'll stop at a store And like okay I was waiting for the like Connection back to Dolly Parton

Sorry no no no that's and that's how I was like I think I've taken that too literally. Yep. Yeah, Slay. Mount the ****. And you know what? We can all go into the weekend and remember to mount the **** this weekend. If I know anything and can give any advice for this weekend, I suggest you mount the

****. Good luck beeping that. All of them. Love you so much. Hashtag not sponsored. We'll take that out, I think. Just beep that whole line. Beat that last bit.

Love you so much. Thank you for joining us for Season 2 of Tonella and Riano. Yep. It's a joy. It really was a joy. Now I'm going to eat my body weighting chicken. You've got no idea the damage we are going to put into that local KFC. They've given the wrong people a discount code.

Love you. Bye. Ariribirchi. Alibirchi. Mama. Mama. Mama.