Toni and Ryan - How To Stop Men Hitting On You

Episode Date: November 3, 2022

An interesting guide to getting people to FUCK OFF away from you! Plus we open SOME POST!! Love u! Toni xoxox [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hello. Is that Amanda? Hello? Is that Tony and Ryan? Yes, it is. And Tony, let me tell you, we're talking to a hot California girl. Oh, Amanda!

Oh, I wish. Well, we're on the video show, the vodcast. Yeah. So we wish that everyone could see how hot you are, but we'll just have to enjoy it to ourselves. Yeah. A real treat. Yeah, you will.

You will. Amanda, will you approve this podcast? Heck yes, I will. Oh, my God. I thought I was being turned down by another hot girl. Oh, my God. No, never. I should never turn Tony down.

Yeah. Oh, Amanda. Stay on the phone. South of California. Hey, it's Amanda from California and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the video show. Hello, welcome to the video show. If you're listening to us on Spotify, you can also watch

us on Spotify. And not just within the app, if you've got a smart TV or the Google Chrome or whatever, you can push the button and watch it on your big screen. Yeah. Fact. It took us a little bit longer to figure out. It took Ryan a little bit longer to figure out. Oh, okay. Now,

we're on the record, the two of us, as saying that working in hospitality and customer service is rough. It's rough. Dealing with the general public, a lot of Karens. And just lots of people that think that they know what you're talking about. Yeah. Like, imagine going into a Coles Deli and being like, this is how it works, and telling the person that works there

that they don't know. I actually work here and I actually know what you're saying is wrong. Or like, let me help you. There's nothing more frustrating than when you're like, I actually want to help. I want this to be simpler for you, but you're not letting me just help you out. Do you reckon there's also this big waft of like entitlement,

I deserve better. A hundred percent. Lack of understanding of there's other customers, there's other people. You just work here. Yep. Exactly. Like I'm actually not pushing big supermarkets agenda. I'm just paying for rent.

I'm just trying to fucking go to uni, do my fucking thing. So I've said this before, but I believe, you know how like back in the day people like you had to go and fight in the war, like when it was real dark times? Oh, yeah. Like conscription or conscription or something like that? When you finish high school, everyone should have to work in customer service or hospitality for one year before you go off to college or travel or whatever else you want to do. Because, and here's my theory, everyone who's worked in customer service goes,

oh, I now get it. Because when I was working there, I know, hey, sometimes the machine doesn't work. You didn't tell it not to work. Yeah. It just doesn't work. I used to work at a hotel. You worked at the Coles Dally.

Yeah. At the hotel, people would come to check in and go, oh, your booking's not in the system. It just hasn't come through. It just happens sometimes, yeah. And because I've worked in a hotel, I go, yeah, it's not you behind the counter. Like the travel agent didn't send it. Do you ever go too far the other way though?

Because sometimes I do that. Or, you know, when you're like, I've seen this video online. It was actually 100% that Tim who posted it. And it's like when you go out for dinner with your friend who used to work in hospital or whatever and it's like we'll just get the water stole yeah we totally get it how's chef tonight how's he going how's service going oh what are the special oh that's hard for you to remember you know when you kind of yeah we get it you also used to work here yeah um once i lent over and looked at the screen at a hotel um and because when i worked for Accor,

which is like one of the big hotel companies, like the software was Fidelio. And so they were looking for something and I was like, oh, like if you look for the thing and I was probably like, I probably didn't need to do that. However, I will stand by that everyone who's worked in hospitality customer service, they're way less likely to be a rude arsehole customer in the future.

I think it makes you a lot more understanding. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So let it be known that that's my stance. However, however, I have a first world problem as a customer. And I just wanted to get my little spiel out on the record. Oh, so you've made yourself look like a really good guy to now be like, oh, but then this thing happened.

Right. That's awful. Were you rude to someone? No. No, I wasn't. And no one did a bad job. I think to put that out there. In fact, I was quite impressed with how great they were.

So I stayed in this hotel last weekend. Yeah. Would have been last weekend. And it's really spread out. Yeah. It's nice. It's not like a caravan park. No.

In terms of it's not. But it's like a caravan and it's spread out and there's lots of cabins everywhere. It's like the chalets that you get out of. Yeah. The little cabins. But in terms of like stuff's not close. When you're in a hotel, it's one building. It's like where's the pool?

Level two. Where's the restaurant? Level one. Great. But they had these like little like golf buggies. Yeah. Because if you wanted to go to the pool, you had to – it was too far to walk. Really?

Yeah. And so the pool's down there. But if – oh, did you want to go to the restaurant? You need to get the – that's at the other end. That's like – and so – So you just – You have to call up the reception and get the buggy. Are you driving them yourself?

No, they come and pick you up and stuff. Oh, my gosh. Like valet. Valet to chalet. Valet to chalet. That's what they should call it. They should put that on the fucking side of the wall. That's brilliant.

But, and you would probably get this. The first time you're like, oh, this is a bit cool. But then you kind of. Because it does make you feel a bit like, oh, yeah, it's coming to pick me up. But then you feel like you've lost a bit of your, like, independence. Because then you suddenly, you're like rel oh, this is a bit cool. But then you kind of- Because it does make you feel a bit like, oh, yeah, it's coming to pick me up. But then you feel like you've lost a bit of your independence because you're suddenly reliant on other people and you can't go and do anything without annoying someone. And I know they're at work and you're not annoying them,

but you feel like you're bothered. Oh, you want to come to the restaurant again? Oh, you want to go to the pool again? Oh, you left your towel there? Oh, do you want to get room service? Oh, do you want us to drive you? Oh, my God, I'm never staying there. You know what I mean?

That's awful. The reality of it, you're like, oh, I just want to do my thing. And is there sometimes like a bit of a wait? Like, you know when you're on holiday and you're like, cool, let's just go to the pool or let's just go to the buffet breakfast or fucking whatever. Yeah, you have to like call and book a car, like a buggy to come and get you and then like tee up that with the time you restaurant.

You should have taken your scooter. Well, I would if I wasn't stolen. But like can you imagine you just zipping around in your scooter? Zipping around, flying. Yeah, but, you know, when you're on holiday and you want to be a bit like, oh, throw caution to the wind, let's just go to the pool. What time's breakfast tomorrow? Whenever we wake up.

Yeah, and instead you're like, oh, well, the buggy's coming at 7.30. Yeah, well, the buggy's at 7.20 because we've got a 7.30 booking, so we had to book the buggy for 7.20 so we could get to the pool. Oh, no, I hate that. And so the people driving the buggy, and actually everyone at the whole place was fucking lovely at because it was a nice place and, of course, it's customer service. Put a smile on your dial.

How great's this? Everyone's on holidays. This is sick. And this is where I fucking sound like the biggest asshole ever. And I know, I know how bad this sounds. But after a while, it was almost like it wasn't aggressive at all. But sometimes you just go, I'm on holidays. The small talk.

Is killing me. So it was like, how's your stay? Oh, the weather's pretty shit. Hey hey at least it's still warm you're off to breakfast and you're like yeah because that's where your cart's taking me yeah so so i get in the buggy and they go to the restaurant i'm like yep that'd be great and they go okay cool so how's your stay been great oh they're just i know oh weather's pretty shit isn't it yeah it's pissing down. They go, yeah, at least it's still warm.

And I go, yep. And so he goes, oh, is he going to the restaurant? I was like, yeah. What's good? You know? And he goes, oh, mate, you got to get the, I think it was the beef or the steak or like it was the. Yeah.

He goes, you got to get that. Everyone says it's fantastic. It's great. Blah, blah, blah. Good. So then he drops me off at the front reception thing, and the reception's like, hey, how you doing? How's your stay?

Oh, pissing with Ryan. Look, it's still hot. It's still warm. Oh, great. How can I? And I go, yeah, yeah, yeah. How can I help you? I'm here at the restaurant.

Oh, just down that way to the left. So I walk to the thing, and then, you know, I stand here to be. The maitre d' comes over. Yeah, stand here to be seated. And guess what she says? Yeah. Oh, hey, how are you? How's your stay? Oh,, it's like stand here to be. The maitre d' comes over. Yeah, stand here to be seated. And guess what she says? Yeah. Oh, hey, how are you?

How's your stay? Oh, shame it's visiting down with rain. Look, it's still warm. It was like a comedy. Like I was waiting for the cameras to come out and be like, oh, psych, because it was literally like they had a meeting in the morning going, here's the four questions we asked today. Yeah.

And they go, we've got a heap of the beef, so make sure if anybody asks you what you get, make sure they order go and sit at the table hey how's your stay geez the weather's fuck and you're just like they're so lovely but also as like a bit of an introvert i'm like hey if you're just coming to pick me up i'll just sit in the back you don't need to do i know you're not like for like it's natural you don't need to force that i'll just sit in the back like it's natural. You don't need to force that. I'll just sit in the back. Like it's fine. Like I don't. So it was as if you took like 30 short Ubers a day. Yeah. Because every time you get into an Uber driver,

into an Uber, you say to the driver, oh, how are you? Been busy? But these guys, yeah, I know. And yeah, imagine Uber drivers being like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So again, they're all lovely. And if they came and picked you up and didn't say that, you'd be a bit like, oh, he's a bit cold. Yeah.

He's a bit rude. That's what I was about to say. Nothing went off script until one thing happened, which just I finally got the quiet I was so desperately craving. So I caught the buggy to the lobby and had the chat. Then the person from the lobby sent me to the restaurant and we had the chat. Then I get to the restaurant, we have the chat.

And then guess what happens when you finish your meal? You go back to the lobby, you have to order a cart. Yeah, so you get back in the buggy and they go, how was the beef? Yeah. So I get back to the lobby, had to order the thing was the beef? Yeah. So I get back to the lobby. Had to order the thing. Oh, jeez.

Like it's still warm. Shit weather though, hey? Yeah. How'd you stay? Yeah. So we get back in the buggy. Fucking hell. Is it the same person?

It's the same guy. I don't want to say his name. Don't say his name. And he goes, oh, how good's the restaurant? Yeah, it's great, isn't it? It's so great that the restaurant's here because it's pretty shit weather, isn't it? Yeah.

Lucky it's still warm. With a fucking Truman Show. Yeah, well, because, again, they probably see a thousand people a day. They don't probably know. Remember that they talked to you, yeah. Except this guy remembered because he goes, and this is finally the first time it went off script, and he just goes, oh, how was dinner? I was like, mate, it was fantastic. He goes, so, is finally the first time it went off script. And he just goes, oh, how was dinner?

I was like, mate, it was fantastic. He goes, so, the beef, huh? And I went, I got the fish. Because it's on the coast. They have like the catch of the day kind of vibe. And then he goes, bleep, bleep, bleep, do not compute. He didn't know how to respond. Because I was making, and I actually knew I was going to get fish.

Yeah. And so when I said, what's good at the restaurant? You knew what you were going to get. I was just trying to like, oh, I've got to talk to this guy for five minutes. Yeah, cool. What's great at the restaurant? And then he was pumping up the beef the whole trip on the way in. So he's like really sold it in.

And I'm like, really? They use the fucking mushroom sauce. Oh, and they do the, man that sounds unbelievable and he goes oh the beef right tell me about it how cabin 104, was it? Yeah. And he goes, and we drove in silence. And the buggies only go like eight kilometres an hour. It's awkwardly and comedically slow. You didn't think that you should just jump out and get a jog on?

Or fucking crawl into a hole and die? Yeah, no, I considered it. Because then Bridget was just like, and I was like, oh. And then, like I said, I was craving silence and then I finally got what I wanted and it was excruciating. And maybe, in hindsight, how's your stay? Shitty weather, huh? Better than. At least it's warm. I Shitty weather, huh? Better than.

At least it's warm. I would take that any day over the pain and suffering of that trip. Oh, my, that is so fucking uncomfortable. And nothing feels worse than when you give someone a recommendation and they don't take it. Like when you go, oh, my God, you've got to go to this restaurant, and they go, oh, it was fine. you go, oh, my God, you've got to go to this restaurant. And they go, oh, it was fine. Or like, oh, we went somewhere else.

You go, oh, so you don't trust my judgment. Do you remember there was this era in like maybe it was the 90s or something where there were like pick-up artists and there were like these really bro-y, douchey alpha bros that were like. Like that movie Hitch. Yeah. And it was like here's the tricks to like get a woman to like. And just put on the record, if you have to trick someone into liking you,

fuck off. You're tricking someone. Who are they liking? The trick playbook or you? So anyway, my mate Tom reads this book and apparently it's like a power play and he did it in front of me and I was just like, that was fucking weird. And he's like, yeah, I read it in a book. I was like, you think that was cool, bro.

You're a fucking dickhead. You look like an asshole. So he goes into the cafe and they're like, yeah, I read it in a book. I was like, you think that was cool, bro? You're a fucking dickhead. You look like an asshole. So he goes into the cafe and they're like, you know, behind the glass there they've got like the croissants and the muffin and the fucking whatever. And he's like, oh, what's better, the savoury muffin or the sweet? And she goes, oh, yeah, like the sweet muffin's great. And he goes, oh, okay, I'll get the savoury.

And he's like, it's sort of to assert like who's in charge. What the fuck? Who's your friend? That's awful. I know. And he's like, I read it in a book. Apparently it works. I was like, works for what?

You look like a fucking asshole. Is that what you were trying to do? Did you read a book, Ryan? No, no, no. You know, this is what happens when you read a book. I don't know why we got onto Tom Block trying to pick up. You changed who you were on that day. But shout out to everyone who works in hospitality.

It's a hard job. Good for you. And I filled out a survey at the end and said everyone was great. So how was your stay? Shame about the weather. It's because it's too hot. That's what I wrote. I said the stay was great, the weather was shit,

but at least it's still warm. Love that beef though. I heard the beef was great. It was great. Hey, it's A Lambda and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. For a limited time, switch to Shopify point of sale and you could

save up to 20% and improve your bottom line. We're so serious about savings, we've made this ad 20% shorter. That means you get six seconds back. Just enough time to visit shopify.com slash POS20. Now that's an efficient ad. Eligibility requirements apply. See shopify.com slash POS20 for details. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas on our Patreon. You can check it out at the link in our show notes, whenever you like.

A few of the numbers will have scrolled past if you're part of the Patreon. I think it's only going to take like 700 years to get through all of you, which is nice. But Daisy Regan, thank you so much. Natalie Randles, Chris Trude, Nikki Mendez, Nick McElhaney. Oh my God.

Relation of Rob, is that where you are? I hope so. Chloe Ryan, thank you so much. Navid, Zoe L, Luke Slattery, Charisma Smith. We only spoke to Charisma recently. Charisma from Perth. Oh, yeah. And Elise Esel, thank you so much for being part of our Patreon.

We fucking love to see it. And hopefully they stick around after you've told this story. Yeah. Also, on Monday, we're doing movies about kitchens and cooks and chefs. Yes. After a fantastic recommendation from me. Yes. So everyone in the Patreon, go and vote and don't complain if you haven't put your votes

in. Yeah. Oh, that's the, yeah. What are you doing? You're playing with that a lot. I feel like my mic's going up. Why don't you just tighten it here? Also, for those playing along at home that saw me pull a face before,

it's because I sipped my coffee that I bought about three hours ago. Yeah. Oh, you bought that before. I shouldn't have mentioned it around Tony. She's a bit touchy about that today. Well, because our thing is that every morning we get in together and we get to have a coffee together and it's like part of our routine. And I said, do you want to go and get a coffee together?

And you said no. No, because you already had one. That wasn't my question. And you walked in 20 minutes late? No, it wasn't late. Between 7.30 and 8. No, we you already had one. That wasn't my question. And you walked in 20 minutes late? No, it wasn't late. Between 7.30 and 8 is when we left. No, we get here at 7.30 to start a date. You get here at 7.30.

Between 7.30 and 8. We get here at 7.30. Why are you gaslighting me? Get here at 7.30 to start a date and you know that. Okay. Last week. Have I done something to fuck you up? Well, obviously all the you have now just mentioned um

last week we heard this harrowing tale my mate joel his dad um he got asked to dog sit and this is terrible when he was dog sitting the dog died the dog was old yep and the owners were aware that the end was not horrible to happen on someone else's watch. I just don't want anyone to think that Joel's dad did anything to the dog. Like it was of natural causes and expected. The owners were overseas and they said, hey, we're going to do like a burial or a cremation, something nice. But until then, can you just put the dog in that deep freezer

and I'll come and get it later? It turns out they didn't come home for months. The owners kind of forgot and moved on. Joel's dad had been that long and forgot and he ended up selling the deep freezer. Someone bought it, got it back to their place, plugged it in, all was going well. They opened the deep freezer, put some stuff in it.

There's a fucking dead dog in the freezer. It's so upsetting. It is upsetting. And here we all were thinking, could it get any worse? A tarpa who will remain nameless. She lives in Sydney and she goes to university there. And, oh, my friend Kate did this. She ends up like just a houseitting because when you're at uni,

she's studying, she doesn't have time to make money, and so you can just bounce around house-sitting. Yeah. And so it's like rich people are like, oh, we just need someone to stay here and feed the cat. Oh, we need someone to, like, walk the dog. Oh, we've got, like, a bit of a funny, weird house and we live in an interesting area.

We just feel more comfortable if someone's in the house. It's pretty sick. There's, like, websites for it and stuff, yeah. My uncle and auntie are doing it at the moment. You just bounce around. Yeah, it's really cool. Save a fortune. Like I said, my mate Kate's like websites for it and stuff, yeah. My uncle and auntie are doing it at the moment. You just bounce around. Yeah, it's really cool. Save a fortune. Like I said, my mate Kate did it for a year and saved a stack.

Yeah, right. Killed it. And kind of cool that you're not in the same place for too long. Yeah. Like you're kind of getting a vibe of lots of different communities. It'd be really good if you were going to like buy a house or rent a house and you didn't know where you wanted to settle yet. Yeah.

I might live in that neighbourhood for a month. Oh, get a vibe. Yeah, oh, I didn't really love it or this part's better than the other. You know, that would be a good idea. So the tarpa is in the house for a few months because their owners have gone to Europe for like a big, you know, like the European summer. Yeah, right. Very rich, obviously.

Everyone's been in lockdown. I think also like retired, like older. Oh, so it was probably, obviously. Everyone's been in lockdown. I think also, like, retired. Like, older. Oh, so it was probably the first time that they could go away. Yeah, and lockdown for a few years. They're like, you know what? Let's go to Europe for three months. So she's house-sitting for months.

Like, they're paying her to house-sit. Yeah. Oh, I think it's just, like, free rent. Oh, okay. So that's the deal. You can stay here for free. You just got to take care of our German Shepherd. Cool.

And the German Shepherd is an old German Shepherd. I grew up with German Shepherds. They're gorgeous dogs. They're beautiful. The German Shepherd was very old and similar to the other story. When the couple was away, the dog died of natural causes. In its sleep, she actually says, I mean, everyone has to pass some time. And she was getting a bit old and one day she didn't wake up from the night. And it's actually a very, you know.

And wouldn't you feel terrible? I don't know that you just said before, like it happening on your watch is just awful, but like people that you don't know, it would be even worse. You have to call them and tell them. You don't really know them that well, but also imagine if they're like, well, the dog shouldn't, you know, it's not old enough.

Then are you like, fuck, I've got to kind of justify that I didn't do anything wrong? Well, our Sydney tarper said that the people were, they knew her time was near and said, hey, I know it's a horrible situation, but it is what it is. The dog had a beautiful life. It's not your fault. That's nice that they were understanding.

Comforting and understanding. Yeah. And the tarpa says, what can I do? I feel so like this awful thing's happened. You're overseas. Is there anything I can do? Yep. And they said, actually, yeah, the vet's going to take care of everything.

We're going to do a cremation. When we get back, we'll sprinkle the ashes in our favourite part of this beautiful thing. We just need you to take the dog to the vet for that final, just take it to the vet. And they will respectfully and politely do everything they need to do. And when we get back to the country, we can deal with the vet because the yucky part of being a vet, they probably deal with this all the time.

Yeah, totally. And it's not unnatural for them to deal with the vet because they're like the yucky part of being a vet. They probably deal with this all the time. Yeah, totally. Yeah, and it's not unnatural for them to deal with that. Yeah. So our Sydney tarpa goes, yeah, of course I can do that. The least I can do, I'm so sorry, I'll be in touch. She hangs up the phone and goes, where's the vet? Oh, yeah, I don't have any of the vet details. She looks up the vet and goes, okay, it's over there

because she's a student house sitting. She doesn't have any of the vet details. She looks up the vet and goes, okay, it's over there. Because she's a student house-sitting. She doesn't have a car. Yeah. And a German Shepherd's a pretty big dog. How big is a German Shepherd? You had German Shepherds. Yeah, pretty big. Like big and quite heavy.

Like a bigger than a golden retriever kind of vibe. Because if there's like small little dogs and then medium dogs, they're like in the big dog category. I mean, they're not a fucking Great Dane or anything, but they're like. In the big dog category. Yeah, they're like stocky and lots of hair, big tail. Our Sydney tarper decides she's going to put the dog in a suitcase and she's going to catch the train.

She doesn't have a lot of cash. Taxi driver asking questions about this heavy case. She's like, at least public transport, I can just put my head down. I don't have to explain. No one's going to lift the bag. Whatever. So she goes for the train. Fucking hell.

No, you're just going to have to give me a minute. The dog's in a suitcase. So she's lugging this massive, heavy as fuck suitcase onto a train. It'd be like over 20 kilos. Yeah. Well, Pippa weighs eight kilos. Yeah, and she's tiny. And she's fucking like a little bean.

So we're talking like 30 kilos, surely. And again, if you got a cab, the cabbie would see the bag and go, let me grab that and put it in. Like, fuck, that's how he got it. And again, you just don't want questions. But also, because you're not going to the airport. You're going to the vet. Oh, yeah.

Where are you going to do the vet? Oh, you're going to pet? They're like, oh, you're off on holiday. You go, to the vet. Oh, yeah. You know, like. Where are you going to do the vet? Oh, you're going to pet? They're like, oh, you're off on holiday. You go, no. No. Like, so you go, oh, yeah, key in fucking lodger's vet. And then they go, oh, what's in the suitcase? Like, it's not going to take them long to fucking figure out.

Figure out what's going on. Yeah, I mean, when she goes, I decided to take the train, you go, yeah, I get it. I get it. Fuck. I actually it. Fuck. And. I actually just would have driven to Sydney and taken her to be like, this is awful. Yep.

So she's on the train with the beautiful puppy who's passed away. Yep. And people are like, morning. Yep. Hey. I would have popped my AirPods in probably. Yeah. Yep.

And even though there's no logical or rational, reasonable way that a suitcase will just pop open, like you're obviously thinking that, right? You're like, fuck. And it's fucking sending chills down my spine at the moment, to be honest. So she's nervous as fuck, but she finally gets to the station that she's supposed to go to.

And she goes, cool, I just got to get out of the station. And from here it's like a couple hundred metres is still a long way with a dead dog in a suitcase. But she's like, I'm at the back end of the journey, like I'm almost there. So she gets off the train and there's the escalator and there's a sign and it said, escalator out of order, you need to take the stairs.

And it's like, just my fucking... Yeah, not today. Oh. It's out of order, you're going to need to take the stairs. And it's like, just my fucking... Yeah, not today. Oh. It's out of order. You're going to have to take the stairs. And she's like, of all fucking days, I've got this fucking heavy dead dog in a suitcase. Can you please stop saying that?

So she starts, like, step at a time. Yeah, because, you know, when you're carrying... One step at a time. Yeah, because, you know, when you're carrying, yeah. One step at a time. And this young hotshot walks over. I assume finger guns are blazing. Yeah. Two canoes, bit of this.

Yeah, bit of a tough guy, young guy. And he sees, you know, a weak girl in distress. A young girl struggling. Struggling to carry a heavy bag. And who said chivalry was dead? And he's like, I know, a weak, in distress, struggling to carry a heavy bag. And who said chivalry was dead? And he's like, I know what I'll do. I'll come over and just offer some help. I've got it, sweetheart.

Don't you worry. So our Sydney tarpa hears this guy go, and this is a direct quote, oh, pretty girl like you shouldn't be carrying something so heavy. Let me take care of you, sweetheart. Fuck off. Yeah. And she goes, no, mate, thanks, I'm all good. And then this is actually, and she's single, by the way, but this is a great little hack and a very subtle nod.

She goes, it's all my boyfriend's DJ equipment. Yeah. Because just what an excuse to drop the word boyfriend. So maybe he'll be like, oh, okay. Just wanted to offer. Have a great day. Oh, that's, yeah, I would say exactly the same thing. Yeah. So I was like, that's off the cuff. Women need to be prepared in these situations. Okay, so there's nothing off the cuff. She had that line ready to go? Yeah, 100%. It's the same like once my car broke down and this guy stopped and I was like, oh, my boyfriend and my dad are on their way.

So it turns out the tough bro is a bit of an amateur DJ himself. So when she goes nuts. Stop it. It's just my boyfriend's DJ equipment. He goes, oh, is it? And I don't know anything about DJing. Me either. But it must have been something like, oh, is it like the turntables

or is it the modern fucking whatever? And she's like, I didn't prepare this far ahead. Okay. So she's come up with this like little lie to just like get this guy off her back, which has ended up being a conversation starter. And she's like, yeah, it's these like turntables and hard drive and. You know, oh, I don't really understand. The RC40, whatever, just makes up this thing.

And she's trying to like wrap the guy up, but he's just like being really persistent to the point where she's about three steps from the top and she runs out of patience, our Sydney Taffer, who, just as a reminder, has a dead German shepherd, not a golden retriever, a dead German shepherd in the suitcase. She goes, mate, I'm not interested. Can you actually just fuck off?

Fair enough. Just says it straight up. And you're entitled to say that straight away, let alone after all the follow-up, blah, blah, blah. straight away, let alone after all the follow-up, blah, blah, blah. So the guy has obviously witnessed that she's, like, small and petite and not strong and whatever. So he thinks, like, she's fucking, you know. Well, she struggled to carry this thing up,

but he doesn't know how fucking heavy the bag is. He steals the suitcase because he's a DJ enthusiast. He's like, she's weak and can't run. There's a whole bag full of fucking DJ gear. I'm going to fucking roll this chick. And he grabs the suitcase because it gets to the top and he just goes, grabs it and he sprints and just takes off. He's like, fuck yeah, I've just robbed this bitch

and I've got all this sick DJ equipment now because he's an fuck yeah i've just robbed this bitch and i've got all this sick dj equipment now because he's an amateur dj himself and he's like oh he's probably got the new rc40 fucking turntables and steals the luggage yeah so so i'm chatting and obviously like are you what the she got robbed she got robbed sorry so she got dogged and so i I'm like, oh, my God. And she's obviously fucking speechless because getting robbed is, like, horrifying. But also. In a public train station during the day. But she's like, that is someone who I don't know very well's dead dog in there.

Okay. What a. Oh, well, he would have got the fuck out of his life, wouldn't he? He's opened this up and there's a problem. So I said to our Sydney Taff, I was like, so then what? When he found out, blah, blah, blah, how did you get the dog back? She goes, he stole it and I've never seen him or heard anything since. There is no more closure to that story that I know of.

But here's the questions. closer to that story that I know of. But here's the questions. First of all, when did he... Realise? Gets home and goes, fuck yeah, sweet bag of things, and goes... Oh. Hello, Inspector Rex. Does he take it back for...

Excuse me, mate. I believe you told me there was DJ equipment, but there just seems to be a dead golden German shepherd. Sorry, there's too many Gs. Another thing you need to factor in is she, I assume, has to call... I was going to say, how do you explain that to the family? Oh, did you drop it off at the vet? I tried.

I got robbed. I cannot believe that. That is not where I thought that story was going. A local DJ enthusiast stole the stuff. Why? Oh, because I told him the bag was full of DJ gear. Like she could have made up any other lie. Oh, it's my boyfriend's snowboard.

I mean, they're pretty expensive. Maybe they would have got stolen as well. Anyway. I am speechless. God, the old how's your stay, how's the weather, small talk doesn't seem so bad after that, eh? Fucking hell. Weather's pretty shit.

At least it's warm. Yeah. Haven't been robbed of a German Shepherd in the suitcase. And luggage is expensive too. You know, what a loss. But two hits in one day. She's lost her... She's living out of a suitcase.

Yeah. Hang on. Was she going to then use that suitcase again? Surely not. Do we need to get Sydney Taffer on? No, I don't think I can. That is insane. I don't know.

I have no words. That is insanity. I don't know. What a crazy story. That should be on fucking like a TV show where they recreate people's like hectic stories like they acted out and stuff because that is insane. Oh, Hamish and Andy did it, wasn't it? Amazing Tales.

Amazing Tales. Who would play the thief? Me. Yeah, I love. No, actually not me. I don't want to carry anything heavy. We can work out the casting at another time.

Tony, can you just pick us back up and let's finish off this episode with a You Love To See. Well, I actually have a You Love To See that I haven't even I don't even know what's in here. So we got some mail this morning. This is now called Tony and Ryan's Mail Time. Mail Time.

I'm going to open this package live on the air. Imagine if it's like, oh, a power bill or something. I think you're going to go, oh, it's a dead dog. Now. Oh. Oh, what is that? A tea towel? Yep.

It is a tea towel. Aloha, Hawaii! You are kidding me. Oh, my God. Hawaiian nail clippers with bottle opener on the back. We've made it. Oh, my God. Oh, one says Aloha.

This one says Hawaii with a little turtle on it. Mine says Aloha, Hawaii. Two for the price of one. Oh, my gosh. Now, I don't actually know. This is incredible. The Hawaiian nail clippers. Oh, Laura.

Laura. Thank you, Laura. Laura Whitten Leopold. Thank you so much for sending those. That's made my day. Are you a key ring guy? No. No, but these are just going to go in my collection forever.

Because I'm without key ring because I don't have keys at the moment. Because I don't have a car. Yep. Well, I don't have a car and I don't really lock the house. But I'm getting the keys to the house tomorrow. So this could be... Your first souvenir. Oh, well, okay, you pick.

Which aesthetic do you want to go with the most? That is a good one, the Aloha Turtle. The Hawaii Turtle. What have we got here? This is an Aloha, like, hula girl. And then the one I'm holding is like a red, like the waves of the ocean. Hate to be crazy. I'm going the Sea Turtle, I reckon, for you.

For me? Yep. I will take your sea turtle. Take the sea turtle. I reckon that's a really fun one. Oh, my God. Turns out it is a great gift. Our friend Laura's bought these for us.

What a great gift. You know what? We were wrong. We were wrong. To question this as a souvenir. These are now going to be the thing that we buy wherever we go. Can we have a wall of nail? A wall of toe clipper?

Because, you know, as we collect them from around the world, we need to put them somewhere. Honestly, I just can't believe that these are a thing. Yeah, they're so fucking numb. It is the weirdest. But, Laura, thank you so much for getting these to us. I could not be happier. Honestly, this was on the floor in the door this morning. Luckily, it wasn't robbed.

Yeah, because that does happen here. Because a very high-value package such as this. So you're telling me that someone robbed my e-scooter, but they didn't think to steal Hawaiian toenail clippers. They obviously didn't understand the value. Thieves in the area need to get their story straight. Do I need headphones? Yeah, chuck your headphones in because you're going to want to hear this.

Sorry, I'm just really into the clippers. Yeah, same. I reckon we'll get back to those, but let me play you this. This is actually really fucking cute. These have got a little nail file on the inside as well. Is that what that is? Oh, my God. It's three gifts in one.

Four, because it's also a key ring. Wow. Laura. What doesn't it do? Fucking there's birthday Christmas sorted for three years. I feel dumb now because you'll have to say it was much better than mine. It always is. Sorry.

Oh, okay. That just came out. Yeah, cool, cool, cool. Yep. So there's a weatherman, TV weatherman. Yep. He's been doing the weather for years, right? Beautiful.

And he stands in front of his screen and he gives us the forecast for tomorrow and the rest of the week. Yeah. Great guy. Great guy. I don't really know him. The other night, he accidentally- Is this in Australia?

No, US. Oh. The other night, he accidentally bumps like, bumps or touches the screen. Yeah. That has, you know, the weather forecast and stuff. And the screen moves. And because he's been doing this job for, like, 10, 15 years. And then he makes the discovery live on air,

as do, like, the news anchor and the sports guy, whatever. He's like, I think it's a touch screen. I never knew. And then they all turn into children with a new toy live on the 6 o'clock news because he's just discovered in real time that his screen's a touchscreen. And he's like... The massive screen behind him. Yeah, because sometimes they can zoom in or zoom out.

Or then over here to the west. But he just thought it was a screen this whole time. So then have a look. Again, he just bumps it was a screen this whole time. So then have a look. So again, he just bumps it and then have a listen. Our winds will change. Right now, kind of hung up just a little bit. Oh, I moved the map. I didn't know I could do that.

No way. Are you serious? Did you just discover that? I got to try it. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Can you believe that?

Just touch it. You can go anywhere you want. That's so cool. I did not. Can I zoom? Just touch it. You can go anywhere you want. That's so cool. Can I zoom? Oh, man. It's a great day. It's a great day. It's a beautiful start this morning. Our temperatures are warming up

nicely this afternoon, but we're still going to... I didn't... I just... I've never touched it before. Oh, my gosh. you can tilt it? What's going on here? All right, anyway, I'm going to figure this all out. A beautiful day in the next couple of days. That is amazing.

But is it like slightly adorable? Because often, especially TV news can take themselves a bit serious. It's a bit stuffy in there. If someone stuffs up, it's like just pretend you didn't and just push on. And just the fact they were like, can I play with it? Yeah. What else can you do? That's so cool.

And the way that he's laughing, he's like, I'm going to figure this out later. But you know, he's not just saying that. No. He's not going home for three days. Yeah. He's going to stay there and fucking tilt the screen. Fucking tilt it? That is amazing.

I would have been exactly the same. Yeah. It's a touchy. I've never touched it before. Oh, my God. How funny. And the God, how funny. And the people, like the producers

probably like, we told him that years ago. You know? We were going to get the $1,000 TV but we instead got the $45,000 touchscreen

and you've never touched it. And he's like, oh, the guy that paid extra for the touchscreen, did you tell anyone when you installed it? He's like, no, I just thought I'd get

the best one. I just plugged it in and switched it on. Yeah, thought that'd be the best. Fuck, that is so funny. Oh, that's a great, you'll love to see it. Thank you. I mean, it won't cut your nails, but it will entertain you. Yeah, I know, yours is really good. Well, I got a turtle.

Thank you so much for listening and for watching if you're watching this video show. Happy Friday. Hope you have a great weekend. We'll see you on Monday. Yep. And we'll be chatting about movies about food and cooking and... Chefs.

Chefs. Angry chefs. Chefs. Chefs. Chef-i. What's the plural of chefs? Chefs? A school of sheaf?

Like one octopus, octopi, chef, chef-i. We'll work it up. You'll hear it on Monday. Love you. Bye. Love you. Bye. And goodnight.