Toni and Ryan - How We Decorate Down Under

Episode Date: November 30, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] 2020-TWIX - Christmas HOT TAKE TONI - Secret Santa - love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

People who set up their Christmas tree before December 1 need to be put in prison. Agree. You also need to have your shit together and not leave your decorations up after January 1. What about people who are away for New Year's Eve? What about people who had a cracking news even a hunger of a news day? I've into a Christmas decorations box before. That's your values, isn't it? It is.

That's a value placement judgment. Hi, I'm Ira from Darwin, Australia. I'm Elizabeth from Sweden. I'm Emily, and I'm from Burlington, Vermont, USA, and I approve this podcast. There is huge concern amongst us here. Welcome to the show. Welcome to Christmas, by the way. Happy 1st of December.

Obviously, it's the last month of 2020 Thrive. and we've just gone into a panic because we don't know anything good that rhymes with 2026. Suck heaps of 2020 dupes. All right. Concern over. But actually though,

I mean, we can't use that. Maybe we'll do a PG version as well. Because I really enjoy... 2020 Twix? I love a Twix. What about... A Twix fucks and a Twix is so fucking underrated that it makes me emotional

for the Nabisco brand. I don't think. think they're Nabisco. Charles, who makes Twix? Isn't it Cadbury? No, I think it's Mars. Charles, Charles. Well, it's not Nabisco.

Who is it? It's Mars. Okay. What did I say? Nabisco. Oh, what did you say? Cadbury. It's definitely not then.

It's Mars. What are you doing? Put more marketing budget into Twix. Put it into us. For 2020 Twix. If you want next year to be the year of 2020 Twix, I will eat a twix a day for 2020 tweaks. Me too.

Me too. We will eat one Twix a day for the whole year if Mars come on board to be their 2020 Twix ambassadors. I think I've got an inn. Do you really? Yeah. Who is it? Well, you know how I am now on the board of the Australian influencer marketing council. Sorry, we got a big business boy in here.

Do you know what was a bit shocking, though the amount of email that said, hey, how much insurance do you have? Like, what do you do you join a board and then all of a sudden, like, take people down? Like, what's the go there? No, it's the liabilities on me. No, I know. So I'm getting taken down. Oh. So I need insurance.

Well, are you going to go and say rogue shit? No, just talk to the people that work at Mars. I don't think you know how there's just, it's not defamation insurance. Oh, what is it? You go, I need insurance because obviously he's going to be doing hot takes and burning people down. That's what I thought. And I thought, well, hey, hot takes in my area. So what's the insurance for?

Because when you're a director of a company, You're like liable if it trades like when in bankruptcy or insolvency and stuff. Oh, I'm a director, though, of this business. Yeah. Should I have insurance? Yeah. Oh, my God. I've got to make a call.

Because you were like, the crazy thing about you being a director of a company, I'm like, you are already. Oh, I thought it was about you joining the board. Well, it is. But they do theirs properly is what I'm getting at. Anyway, we're working with the Australian national. Advertisers Association and on the board is Mars because Mars is one of the biggest advertisers in the country 2020 Twix baby 2020 Twix I think they're going to like this now I'm not a doctor tag twicks tag Mars I'm not a doctor isn't it weird that you would name your

business after one product like Tony and Ryan but that's the only thing we make like imagine how sad you would be to be tweaks that you're like oh my God maybe mom and dad all that name the company after me, but then they name it Mars. They go, well, Mars is clearly the favorite, you know? Well, that's why they changed the company name of Facebook to Meta, because they're like, well, it's not fair. The whole company's called Facebook. Thank you.

Yeah. They own WhatsApp. How do you think they feel? Do they? Oh, my God. Just Meadow own WhatsApp. Charles, do you remember when Tony learned that YouTube was owned by Google? Yeah.

Is WhatsApp genuine? Are you fucking me? No. Like, yes, they own. Really? Yeah. I don't like that. Why not?

I don't know. How much do you reckon they bought it for? They bought WhatsApp. They didn't create it. Yeah. Oh. And they bought Instagram. Is it?

Oh, I thought they made up Instagram. No, they bought it. Guess how much they paid for? Which one do you think they paid more for? Probably paid more for Instagram. Oh, probably WhatsApp. Because back in the day, Instagram probably wasn't really worth. They paid one billion for Instagram and I think 19 billion for WhatsApp.

what i think i might just i'm correct yeah there we go 2012 board of a director look at that what's whatever i don't get it but i'm having fun and i'm really proud of you dude you're proud of 2020 twigs let me just ask something about 2020 twigs yep i'm not a doctor i am you are i'm on a board of directors you're a doctor between the two of us smart i love to hear that do you know what i think i might do next year actually become a doctor how long will that take more than that year seven could i start next year yep

maybe i'll become i think i would like to become a medical doctor why don't you become a married celebrant first oh if you think that's yeah no but if you what i'm getting at is if that's too much yeah you're not going to like being a doctor can you google how long it will take me to become a gynecologist oh i don't know why you'd need a doctorate in that because you're already an expert at the Spend all day with About 10 years About 10 years Full time

All right Well I'm 32 now So by the time I'm 42 That's actually Fucking iconic That I could become a doctor Yeah so four years Of an undergrad degree

Four years of medical school And one year of an internship And a minimum six years In a specialised residential program All right Charles Can you Google If they do Recognise prior learning

RPL for an advanced deployment And sound engineering Because that might shave a year off I might knock out a few electives. Yeah, that might shave off some time. That was a lot. You just had a lot of words. Google it.

Do you want to get paid? I don't think he does. It's not looking like it. I think I'm going to become a doctor. Okay. Can I honestly? I talk to Tappas all day every day. I've just become a doctor out of my Yars Queen.

Let's get... That was the chair, by the way. That I didn't do a fart. Okay. when you become a doctor Or same, I'll do a PhD Because then it's like We've both got a thing cooking on the side

And we can like go to O week together And catch up in the university quad for coffee and staff O week together, that's fun Or we could be the Melbourne University Double Table Tennis team 1,000% I'm in Yeah Now here's my question for the soon-to-be doctor

What are you going to get your PhD in though, sorry I would assume My asshole! I'll get my pretty huge dick Into a gyno Near you Tony Lodge As someone who's soon to be a doctor

Is a Twix a day Healthy or should we maybe only commit to a twix a week? Do you know what I do have some informed Because I know an apple a day keeps the doctor away But a twigs a day might bring the doctor in real close What we've recently realized as doctors and on the board of doctors is that

there are two types of health there's your physical health of course very important so true there's also your mental health also true I feel like a twix a day is very important for you know one serve of joy so you're saying a twix a day keeps the psychiatrist

away and we've always said that the money I spend on Twix I'll save on my antidepressants yeah but still you use betterhelp.com slash tarp, TARP. Do they sell Twix? Well, no, but you should still go to your therapist.

They should have a deal. I know it's 10% off if you use the code word tar, but I reckon they should be like, if you sign up to BetterHelp, you also get a discount on Twixers. Then think it happens. If you've got a great therapist and a great twix supply,

I don't think your 2020 Twix can go wrong. Charles, how many fun-sized tweaks do you get in a party bag? Because what if we did a fun-sized one? We'll save money, but also it's just a little one. Also, I hope someone's writing this down. There's a lot of no-context notepad that's happened in the last two minutes. 11 pieces. 11.

Oh, fuck, that almost got us done for a four-week. That's an odd number. That should be 12. We'll talk to them about that. We'll talk to them about that. That ruins my mental health. It has to be 10 or 12. I think it should be 12.

11. No, Charles, that's from Kmart. That's crazy. That's from Kmart. That's from Kmart. Look at Carl. Also, oh, there's Christmas us. Oh, what's that?

Also, it was 159 grams of chocolate. Isn't that an annoying number? It's 11 at 12 at goals. But you can pick any two for 10. That's good. So we'd end up with 22. That's fast maths. I don't know about you.

But I'm feeling 22 tricks. Oh my God, I'm like an old crow. That's very good. Okay, well, tick. One problem marked off for the day. I've got three drinks. I'm ready to fucking go. You've actually got four because there's a Christmas mug.

And you can't see it because the fourth is covered by your other three drinks. While we're solving the world. One's a smoothie. One is a coffee, iced coffee. This one has nothing in it. It's a prop. And this one is water, iced water from my. Fridge at home.

Charles, I don't know if this is throwing you on the spot, throwing you under the bus, putting you on the bus. Oh, see you on the bus. That TikTok I sent you, can you put that on the screen so everyone can watch it and Tony and I can listen to it. Oh, this is something that you should have asked him before. Well, I wasn't going to do it this episode, but I think while we're solving the world's problems one at a time. You know what I mean? I love solving problems. You should be a consultant.

maybe i what if i instead of becoming a doctor what if i played a doctor on a tv show well they're practically the same thing that feels quicker potentially because my acting career as we know is on the rise um well you could be who did joey play dr drake romare and he fell down the elevator show okay let's watch let's watch this do you ever find something out and you're like am i genuinely fucking insane because like how did i not know this. My queen, we met at Acme, does polls on her story every single day. And she did a poll today saying, like, what do you do with your pajamas after you wear them? And it was like, A, wash them. Like, I only wear a pair once. B, put them back in the drawer. C, put them under or behind my

pillow. And D was like, N.A. C was winning. By like a lot, you guys. I have genuinely never once in my life heard of anyone putting pajamas under or behind their pillow after you wear them so you make your bed and your put can someone explain because i i feel like i'm going insane because that answer was winning i literally i have so many questions i like i'm shook over this okay one person has commented i feel like we're being gaslit there's no way anyone does this someone asks why aren't we washing them every time it turns it yeah i mean fuck get up yourself how dirty are you dirty person it turns out putting your pyjamas under or behind your pillow is an australian thing yeah and not a global thing yeah do you do that or have you heard of that before yeah but i but

you are the like the nighty pajama wearer of the team yeah well um maybe you should do your doctorate in pajamas i think i might not like in the topic of not like wearing them while you do I would. I would. I wrote my book in my nighting pretty much. But yeah, first of all, to confirm, where does your night to go during the day? So I wear, the first answer is do I only wear them once and wash it? Absolutely not. And you're not a dirty bitch that needs to do that. Well, I just also like, I probably am rolling a nighty like for a week. Unless I change your sheets every night. Of course not. It's the same fucking thing. Even people that change their sheets every week. That's not for me. I don't think you need to.

We'll debate that next week. No, like, we've talked about it before, and everyone goes like, me, ma'am, but I just don't, I just don't think that you really need to. How often are you doing it? I mean, if you have to think about it. I'd say probably every two to three weeks. When I was in college, I reckon I changed them once for the year. Oh, like, I, do you know what? Before.

Which is thinking about it now as fuck, but the time it just didn't occur to me that that was the thing that people did. Before we had a dryer, never. Oh, dumb, yeah. Because we didn't have a... What are you going to do? We lived in an apartment. What are you going to do with your sheets? Time to the balcony rail. Like, and just hope for the best.

Yeah. Crazy. But yeah, now that we have a dryer, it's more... Just because it's less inconvenient. But for my pyjamas, I probably roll them for like a week. But then I've got like house clothes that I wear. Like, as soon as I get home from work, I'll put on like... Trackies on, settling.

Yeah, or like sport shorts or whatever. And then I'll put my 90 on at nighttime after I've had my shower. But where are you put my put. putting the night. I, every night, I set out my clothes for the next day. Yep. I've done it since I worked in breakfast radio. Yep.

In the morning, I walk out into the kitchen, have breakfast and everything in my nighty. Then I take my nighty off and put it on the back of the couch and get changed into the clothes I've laid out in the kitchen. So my nighty stays on the lounge in the lounge room. The girl on TikTok's not going to like that. No, it's a rogue answer. E. On the couch, over the back of the couch.

I just leave it on the back of the couch. And then when I get home from work, I'll put, like, my, like, house clothes on or whatever. And then I put my house clothes, like, leave them out there, put my night and take my nighty in to have a shower and then put my nighty on before I go to bed. So then where are the night clothes staying overnight? Sometimes they are on, like, our bench seat. Yep. Or they're in my office. because I use that as like a bit of a change room.

Yeah, and like I'll put my handbag, like with my laptop and stuff in it. I'll put that in my office. This sounds very complex. And obviously you've got your bit worked out. Yeah. But like if we're a stranger, you were to walk in and you're like, well, this is how it's done here. This is my situation. You'd be like, yeah.

Do I need to take notes? Yeah. Do you know what I like about it? I feel like it makes me utilize the whole home. Like I feel like I'm really, really enjoying my mortgage. Did you all the work done in that office? No, do you getting a lot of work done in that office? Yeah, it's where I get changed.

Yeah, it's where I get changed. No, but I get to like say hello to every room when I get home. That's nice, isn't it? Which I quite like. Like I get home and I'm like, hi lounge room, high office, high bedroom. I think it's kind of nice. That's what I miss about living on campus is that you just walk in the door and you've said hi to all of them. You've done it.

I mean, it probably take you a couple of hours to say hello to your whole home. Now? Because you've got to do the golf cart down to the other end of the... Golf car. Can you imagine a golf cart going down the side of my house? No. Boom, boom,

boom, like it would be a death trap. Because you'd have to get past security. Yeah. And then if you cross the little river over to the east wing. What the fuck are you talking about? At Beyonce's Airbnb. Beyonce's Airbnb was full yesterday though.

Yeah. Family round. How did, I don't know over cousin Bonnie. She goes, the pool will sober me up. It didn't she. nearly drowned.

Oh, that's good. Luckily, you just got a little... Well, I put Mabel's floaty on her. Yeah, you like, you need some help. Yeah.

Do you, but I have heard of the pyjamas under the pillow thing. I feel like I would only do that if we, if I was making my bed, which I also never do. And I know that people don't like that, but I don't get that. I just,

as in not making it or making it. You're just going to get in again. Who gives a fuck? And it's like, no one's going into my room. Bridget makes it every day beautifully. And then every, night I have to come in and take 74 pillows off and put them someplace and it's my job to

put them somewhere. Yeah. So I can get into the thing. Yeah. I understand people that do it because they're like, I want it to look nice. That's so fine. But I find the same people are like judgey about people who don't make their bed. Like people, when you say to people like, I never make my bed, people like, are you saying Bridgett's judging? No, no, no, because I reckon she might be. Should we call her? I don't think that she would be judging about that. If we called her and I'll say, Tony doesn't make the bed. Like, they just don't make the bed.

What do you reckon? What's the sound she would make? I just don't think that she would care, would she? I reckon she'd be like, oh, well, then I don't really want you to call her and I don't want to feel judged. You know, I want to judge her for judging. I mean, it's up to you.

But I think that, like, it's the same when you say to people like, oh, I wear the same pajamas. If we go, oh, like, it's just one of those things that I feel like. Aren't pajamas just sheets that are closer? Yeah. And this is actually, actually, this is a very good point. If you don't wear pajamas, I think you do need to wash your sheets more. Or if you don't have a top sheet, you probably need to wash your do-na cover more and things like that.

But because I always, like, we always wear pajamas. Is there? Do you reckon? No, I'm a, you're so smart at this. Thank you. there's a medical doctor, is there like a social doctor of the people. A doctor of linen and cotton. What's that topic called?

Manchester. A doctor of Manchester. Yes. I think that could be your area. Manchester. Play the fucking thing. I'm Ira from Darwin, Australia. I am Elizabeth.

from Sweden. I'm Emily and I'm from Burlington, Vermont, USA. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion Tarpers over at our Patreon. Thank you very much for being part of it, where the calendars are like a cooking and they're doing really well. It's very exciting stuff. Thank you very much to Monica.

Thank you. Gracie G. Morgan Carroll. Good on you, Morgan. Phoenix Rass. Katie D. Sorry, I realized that Charles hadn't got your hot take Tony outfit and then he realized he hadn't got it

and now he's trying to like tiptoe across. Yep, I can hear all over it. Oh, welcome. Sorry, I'll just I'll just keep going. Charles, you just let us know when you're good to go. I was tiptoeing. You brought it up.

Katie Dick, D-Y-C-K so I don't know if that's Dyke or Dick. Neither do you, maybe. Story, Cape, good on your story. Harley from Perth Is that the Harley from Perth that hot ash from Perth is fucking I hope so

Tova I'm glad that they've both got Champion Tapper Yeah They're both That's how they met Because they're both TARP's

I didn't know that's how they met Yeah I knew that Do we get a like commission for that? Oh yeah Every time they come We get one percent So if they've got off

100 times I get one hand job And it's applicable by me I'll do it No they do it Oh. Those two jerk us two off. Oh, oh, I like that even better.

Tova Pabodinskas, thank you, Tova. No offense to the guy, but we'd both be fighting for Ash. What, she's got two hands. Ellie Belloff, good on your Ellie. Adam Schultes. That was the funniest thing I've ever said in my whole life. And it's also because we know Ash. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Feels like, I'm not going to just get a hand job from this guy, Harley, who I don't know. Some stranger. Like, not okay. Is it Harley Reed? Huh? Is it Harley Reid? Who's that?

Well, his name's Harley and he's from Perth. So we don't know if it's Harley from Perth, but hopefully it is. I've got a hot take. Bring in the hot take. The pre-organized hot take the outfit. I'm very excited. Charles, actually, is there a Christmas hat? Maybe a Christmas themed hot take.

Is it a Christmas themed hot take? Maybe. I don't know. Well, you know. Well, I know, but for comedy. Is that supposed to be a hat? Right, can you hold this? Is that supposed to be a hat or are we just making it a hat?

No, it's supposed to be a hat. That is so funny. Has someone been to Spotlight? Is that from Spotlight? Lily got all of our Christmas decorations actually. Lil where is the upside-down pants from? It's from Kay-Mark, yeah. That's a good fun.

You ready? Yep. Stick me, bitch. We'd love to. So every Monday I do a hot take. Ladies and gentlemen Hot take Tony And my hot take is

This is not going to surprise you But my hot take is that People who set up their Christmas tree Before December 1 need to be put in prison You've been scorched It is the 1st of December here So that's why we've got Lily got here early

To set up all of our Christmas stuff today I think people need to get their shit together and stop decorating too early. You also need to have your shit together and not leave your decorations up after January 1. So I was just about to say like... There's a strict period. I will allow a special dispensation for people who do the 12 days of Christmas. Oh, but that's still within the boundaries.

Well, yeah, but it's a bit later. I just think December 1 they've got to go up and January 1 they've got to go down. And same. What about people who are away for New Year's Eve? What about people who had a cracking news, even a hungover's fucking New Year's Day? Is there any Levi on Jan 1? I think if you're away, what can be done, you know?

But hungover, I've thrown up into a Christmas decorations box before. I'm not even joking. I've been that hungover taking down the Christmas dream. Especially when I was, you know, 17, 18. team and then I get home from being out and mum and I'm like mum will have already taken down how good and I've gotten home and she is like we were waiting here to take the Christmas tree down and I've gone oh they my yeah so so you weren't responsible enough to drink an amount than not have you throwing up but you were responsible enough to go well I do have a civic duty

to take this tree down well that's your values isn't it it it is that's a value placement judgment I just think that before December it's too early and it's not because I wouldn't love to have them up I they bring me so much joy look how happy we feel being in this beautiful Christmassy room but I'm going to go home tonight and Torbs and I'm going to put our tree up and I can't fucking wait I have been crafting my fucking ass off this year for Christmas decorations did you craft that hat I didn't crap we already talked about it yeah but like came up if you did I just got it from Kmart yeah okay I have had to buy a new sewing machine, though,

because I did break mine pretty bad. Oh, the old Jill Singer. What happened to her? My singer start. Yeah, so I've bought a new one. Okay. Well, I broke it making Christmas decorations. Oh, but isn't that?

It blew up a little bit. And it only costs like $130. And to get it serviced would have been probably like $150 or $200. And so I was like, it's done its dash. I've had it for about seven years. So when I had that car that was real shit, the Yaris that I just ran into the ground. How do you say a Yaris is shit, but yes. Oh, they're like, it's going to cost 400 bucks to repair it.

And I was like, you can just have it. Like, it's not. How about we save the admin? Don't write the receipt out and you just take this. Yeah. I trust you'll do the right thing. Yeah. When you guys did your family Christmas yesterday.

Mm-hmm. Because it wasn't December 1st yet. It's way too early. Like, oh. Yeah. Yeah. But did you have a tree up so that you could do Christmas family Christmas? No.

because I knew I had to come and face you today. Good. I was actually wondering what you might have done. You're about to ready to take me down. I really was because we're doing, so Torbs and I are going away for like we're going to be away on actual Christmas. And so we were trying to figure out with my sister and her family when we would do like our family Christmas.

Yep. So the adult, so Torbs, this heart is quite top heavy. So it's slipping down. Yeah, it's dragging your whole body back. Yeah, it's like I feel like I'm. You could end up bars up by the end of this episode.

Oh, well, I feel like Legs 11. For those not watching on YouTube, I'm wearing a hat that's like pants and like Santa pants on my head. But it's upside down. As if, yeah. Anyway, and one of the days floated was late in November. And I was like, oh, so it would have been this weekend.

And I was like, and Libby goes, you're right. The tree won't be up. Oh, so everyone's, everyone. So we were all on. Everyone knows. In our family. Like our family, like we don't fuck with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, so, because Tobs and I will be away for a lot of December, and we will be away for actual Christmas. We're like, when are we going to do it? So now we're going to do it, um, this weekend, actually, the sixth. We'll fucking hurry up and get the... Yeah, get the tree up. Do it tonight. I'm very excited about my theme.

I'll post some photos in Patreon, actually, of my... They'll love that. Christmas tree, my decorations. But, yes, I'm really proud of that. I believe... Hmm. Sometimes, like, not getting what you want all the time means the time that you get it makes it more special. So if you had Christmas decorations up all year, you just, like, wouldn't care anymore.

Oh my God, I thought that you're about to be like, so, Tony, when you don't get what you want about the 1st of December, just shut up. Because sometimes you get what you want is I thought I was like, thought you were going to, like, roast me just then. I thought, do you need this matchstick? So if you leave it up too long, or you put it up too early. It doesn't feel as special. Yeah. That's why life is so beautiful because it's short. And we should take every day as a gift. That's why they call it the present. I'm a little bit juiced up from that, to be honest. Are you drunk? No, but I mean, I have got a lot of drinks here, but none of them are alcoholic. But because, Charles, may you take this, I'll keep the hat on. I think that's working. Oh, my God. Set this whole place on fire. But now that we've got to.

Christmas chat going, I thought that today, being the first Christmas day, that we could draw our secret Santa. Yep. And I had a beautiful idea. And Lily has bought us all these decorations. She bought us some stockings. But like I said, I've been strapped to the beast and Christmas crafting like an absolute legend.

Yep. So I made you something. You made me something. I made you something I needed you Oh my God It is a foot shaped beanie Oh no it's a Christmas stocking

All that yes It's a Christmas stocking I needed you this That is so good And it's got the letter R on it Yeah That is sick I needed this whole thing

Fuck you've been Just crafting up a fucking storm Well actually So I ordered all the stuff for this Is it from Cardagang? It is, yep. And it didn't come for ages, but Australia Post are now doing their Sunday delivery.

Hang on, have they not been doing that the whole time? They only do it like at big time, like from Black Friday till after Christmas. They just don't want to win, do that? No, so true. But this got arrived, this arrived at my house last night. I needed this last night. Get the fuck out.

It looks so thick. I'm really proud of it Oh my God This is Cancel KK Because How can Like

Do you really like it? What else can you Like Do you really like it? I didn't know if you would think it was shit And I was really worried To give it to you I was really nervous

Before I give you my KK gift Have a fucking Porsche Is what you just said to me But I need to do that And I just really love you you and there's love in every stitch. And it's probably the most...

There's something in it. Well, it's the names for us to draw a secret center. Oh, because you know how sometimes you get a gift and there's a card? You like shake it and see if any money comes out. No, no, no. It's just out got our names on it. But I reckon it's probably the hardest thing I've knitted. Well, it's the curse.

Yeah, because you've got to do a... It was quite intense, actually. I made that in a couple of episodes of TV. I'm really proud of myself. I read on Reddit that a curve just hits a bit different. And this does. Do you like it? I love it.

Now, I've got many questions, which I think I wish to have asked earlier. Yeah. How many people are in the KK this year? Two. Are you joking? Last year, Sophie went crazy. bought a massage chair. Yeah, but guess what?

We got to keep it. Now we have a massage chair. So what I thought is that the official... I saw her the other day and she said, how's my massage chair? Yeah, she messages me often. Yeah, you come in any time. Are you cutting these guys out?

She got a key to me. No, no, no. Well, so what I thought... People aren't going to like that. What I thought, and how do you try and throw me under the bus, right? Yeah, I don't want to like that. How dare you throw me under the bus? Because you said it's just arse.

No? A... Yes, you fucking did. Not on Christmas. No, can I tell you what I honestly said? I said, okay, everyone forget what I'm about to say because I'm going to ruin the illusion of show business. No, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.

I'm about to ruin show business. You're ruining Christmas. I said, I don't care how we draw it as long as you and me get each other. For comedy purposes, yeah. But. What if, The three of them, they do their own draw.

Yeah, that's like, you know how I was like, do we need two? Or is there a mechanism that we can cheat it? So like, they get each other and we get it ourselves? Charles, can you get me a sharpie and three pieces of paper? Hang on. So that's what I was implying. Yeah, no, I just put us in there. Yeah, no, I can tell.

It's not that I don't love them. It sounds like it does. now while Charles is getting the names ready I just need two because I'll shut okay all right two no hang on

you got three there yeah I need three no I've got an idea so we got Charles who works for us as we all know Charles you can see he's wearing the we've got legal lily and Tommy just started with us a few weeks ago

and it's been great to have him on board Tommy is in the Secret Santa absolutely now while we're all here as a team how much are we spending this year? Last year was $30. Do we all think that's about right?

What did you get me last year? We talked about this the other day. Pippa. The Pippiris to her. That's right. You pop them as in here. Oh, yep. Okay.

You pop them in here. Yeah, I'm trying. Okay, so they're the big ones and ours are smaller. So make sure you pull out a smaller one. Yeah. Because their names are all big. When I put my hand down here, I always pull out a smaller ones. I think $30 feels about right.

Charles, if you like... Because it's not too hot, like, it's not too much. Does 30 feel right to you? Yeah. Oh, God. Well, if you, if we didn't say 30 and you just had to guess, what would you have said out loud? Oh, like, it would be...

All right, no, we're all going to count down from five and we're all of us. We're all going to say a number. Like what we thought it would be. Yep. Five, four, three, two, one, fifty. What did you say? I said 50. I said 50.

What did you say? I said 250. What did you say, Tommy? 30. Okay. Mate, we know how much you get paid. Is it on the work card? No.

No. Okay. Just checking. And because you don't know who's going to get who. Yeah. Now, this is fun. Let's lock in 50. 50 feels good.

Yeah. Should we, okay, I had this idea. Yeah. Our tags look sick as well because I made them like before the show. They do look sick. Yeah. What if we do a fun challenge that it's like, yeah, the limit's 50, but whatever you get like has to fit in a Christmas stocking?

No. Oh. okay let's draw because size matters okay and if someone goes over 50 it doesn't count and then we'll say where's the real present

and we put the we set it on fire yeah because no oh sorry you really purpooling a lot of my ideas okay we set them on it if it's over 50 it gets set on fire yeah and is that retail price

or like say if you've got something off marketplace for cheap oh good no you have to have to Like recommended retail price. No, you have to have spent less than 50. Yeah. Yeah. I also saw a controversial thing online recently that was like if you buy something in the set, like on sale, is it that the price was $50 or are you just saving?

It's the price you pay has to be under 50. And I think like. It doesn't have to mean you have to spend 50. That's exactly what I was about to say. You don't have to spend 50, but just something nice. Yep. Yeah. So should I draw who I've got?

Yeah. that's a beautiful stocking isn't it it is i've already won't have to get you anything because i oh who depends on who i get no you've already given it from now i'll need another one oh should i show the camera or does everyone not know um no you can show the camera because you want the tarpas to know who you got don't say anything don't say anything i think they already knew uh tony are you playing the game or not you're acting like a real see you next christmas a see you next uh oh see who i got a kunk that's a see you next christmas yeah well you're acting like a real kunk

the small one i'll close my eyes wow okay all right you can open them uh charles can you come in here and draw and show the camera all right here go charles don't no peeking and then aim into and you can't get yourself oh are we not made to look no don't look what the fuck it's secret santa okay sweet lily come in okay and you can't get yourself why are you crawling it's a very strange decision more strange than when you um rolled into a ball to go underway okay everyone look away chart Ryan you're not supposed to know why she might have you

okay I was torn between not knowing who she had and making sure it was in focus all right yay Tommy all right here go get something from my pink sack she knitted that and show this camera here everyone look away it's in is it in focus yep great all right nice great you can keep that

That's coming out of your pay Okay, so you have to I know it's a stocking but can I wear it as a beanie? You can try Is that offensive? No, I want you to enjoy your gift however you see fit Oh yeah, it weren't quite Oh it's not, oh God that is terrible

It looks like a huge cock I bought two beanies on the weekend Oh, to go with your singlet Wow Sorry, too much If I could get one thing for Christmas, it would, to be that taken back. I don't know if that's how it works. Nah, okay, sorry.

You bought two beanies. Perfect for summer. That's good. It's for Latvia. That's actually a great call because... We googled the temperature in Latvia. And we can see why they asked us. Everyone else said no.

It's going to be like negative three. I mean, oh, no, Wikipedia, you've got the time wrong. It's actually spring over there, and Wikipedia went, yeah. Yeah, no, I know. Well, I'm actually knitting a hat at the moment, so I'll wear that one. A beautiful, it's bright yellow. Well, if I don't know when I was getting this, I wouldn't have bought the be beanie. Yeah, I think you should take it off your head because you might be stretching it out a bit.

No, it's just sitting on top. I can see it. The hat is the colour of the yellow. So true. No, the hat. that I'm knitting. Oh, yeah, got that. Well, it is true.

What the fuck is wrong with you? I just got rinsed about the singlet and I'm rattled. Yeah, sorry. So fucking forgive me. All right, I've got to you love to see. Here I'm going first. Oh, Beck, this is from Beck. She sent this story on Patreon and she might need a beanie as well.

Hey, Tony and Ryan. I had to share my excitement. I've just booked my tickets to Vancouver for next year from Adelaide. Fuck, yeah. I've been working so hard. to be able to take my daughter on an amazing holiday for her birthday, and Vancouver it is. She's so excited and so am I.

That is sick. And Beck said, P.S., I'll definitely be adding some travel insurance. Good call. Great decision. You never know when you're going to break your foot. Yeah, actually don't. But Beck, I love to see that. I reckon as a parent, being able to take your kids on holiday,

that's fucking huge. And a big international holiday, that is massive. The Kittalano pool. depending on what time of year they're going to be there. I'm curious. I'm curious to go to Vancouver in the winter because I think it would be obviously a different kind of beautiful but like seeing the snow on the hills and stuff.

I just love Canada. We're moving. Bonjour. My love to see it is that a peer-reviewed academic study has found that watching Japanese movies, specifically Studio Ghibli, is good for your mental. whole health. I agree. And did you see this post in the Facebook group? No, I didn't.

Okay, now this is going to sound like a joke, but it's real. I mean, you lost me at the beginning when you said a peer-reviewed study. I didn't love it, but I'm back around now. Remember, at the start of this episode, you considered becoming a doctor? I haven't considered it. I've done it. Charles has already filled in my application form while we've been recording. We've considered, we haven't done it. No, I'm doing it. Yeah, so I reckon get used to peer-reviewed studies. Yeah. He's a lot of time. Don't you man spline to make up your review study.

An American and an Australian walk into a bar at the Studio Ghibli Museum in Tokyo. Yep. Both tarpers. Really? Tarpers in the wild. In Japan. In Japan. What?

Louisiana Rodriguez sent through a photo and they're both just like, what's up? And they bumped into each other and like, oh, how random, like, you know. Did you have the photo? I did. And I don't know where. I put it. Great.

I think it's on my laptop. Cool. But they look great. That's awesome. And if you're watching on YouTube, you are seeing it now. I haven't even seen it yet. But they look very happy to be there. That's awesome.

How did they know that they were both tarppers? You can see a tarpa. You know when we're in town and you go, yeah. No. Don't you? No. You can spot a tarpa. Oh, okay.

Not derogatory, obviously. that's like a compliment yeah like to see someone and be like they're definitely a tarpo so I go and see the photo maybe there's a clue no no I trust you

they're probably wearing merch or something if one of them's wearing merch it was probably because of that yeah you've gone off something's wrong I just love to see

Studio Gleeblis it's good for your mental health you need to go to see Studio Gleebly you don't even know what Studio Gleebley is no have you ever watched

any Ghibli films like Spirited Away or How's Moving Castle or anything Oh Oh, they're like... And it shows. Yeah.

And I can do. I shouldn't have asked. They are really good. They're really beautiful movies. Yeah, I bet. And they're like animated, really beautiful and stuff. Well, the fact there's a whole museum dedicated to the craft and the culture of it. I saw this thing recently.

And it was like... So I'm just, you're still wearing the hat. And I love it, but it's just so funny. I know. It's really slipping back. I saw this thing recently that in Tokyo. So there's like the Ghibli Museum. There's also, like, the Ghibli studio.

And that this guy, I think was on Reddit, and this guy just, like, knocked on the door and was like, hey, like, I'm here for the tour. And the people in there were just, like, so polite. They showed him around, like, the whole studio. And he posted about it on Reddit and people were like, yeah, I think that they were just being polite because you'd knocked on the wrong door. There's no tours. There's no tour of the studio. And now there's a sign on the door that says, like, this is not the museum. Like, yeah.

Well, I'm here for a look around there. And they just went, oh, okay, man. And, like, they just also am I allowed to see it because that. Isn't that so beautiful? Yeah, they were just like, oh, okay, yeah, we'll show you around. And gave him some, like, random merch and stuff. Just because he, like, no, and it was obviously the guy who was working there was just like, hey, you know what?

I don't have a meeting for an hour. I might as well help this guy out. The stuff I'm supposed to be doing is a bit fucking dull. I've got some admin, and I'd rather just do anything else. Yeah, isn't that so beautiful? Love it. All right, tomorrow on the show. You know how early we learned the cultural differences between, like, where people put their pillow?

Yeah, the pajamas. I think there's culturally different about when someone goes, I'm here to clean the pool. Because somewhere, in some cultures, that's like, means I'm here to fuck. Porn culture. You know, but other cultures, they're like, they're just there to clean the pool.

I don't think, I don't think porn's a culture. No, but like, in some countries, if I was like, hey, I'm here to clean the pool, you'd be like, ha ha ha. But other countries, they're just like, yeah, no worries, bro. Okay. And, well, anyway, those, someone has a confession about pool cleaner. Great. And shit gets wild.

Great. Watch this space. Go on. All right. Love you.