Toni and Ryan - I Hooked Up With My Therapist's Son

Episode Date: August 10, 2026

Dream chat - Confessions - Birthday logistics - love ya!!!!!Video for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I was hooking up with my psychologist's son. I told her in extreme detail how much of a simpy was. I did not know it was her son. Yeah, fuck. She didn't know it was her son. Until I run into the two of them at Starbucks. I'm Haley from Maine and Victoria. This is Zoe.

Hi, I'm Katie with two eyes from the Riverlands. Hi, I'm Laurel from Rates Town, Wisconsin. And we approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, bestselling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. How's the Pipes?

We're back. Yeah, nice. There's some controversy whether we'd have an episode today and we'll see how we go. You've nailed it, though. Thank you. Look at you. You look amazing. I know.

You look beautiful. Thank you. We'll see how I go. Okay. All right. I've got Dream Chat and I know that it has been banned on the podcast, but this is especially good. It better be.

Last night. This sounds a bit crazy, but... They always do. It's all good. Last night, I had a dream that someone was, like, from behind, choking me from behind, like, like, in an aggressive manner. Not a sexy way. Not like that, no.

That, like, their forearm was, like, across my throat and they were behind me kind of thing. And I, so to get away, I, like, bit them really hard. Oh. And I woke up in a start because I bit my own arm. I was sleeping on my tummy And I was show And I was like Like this with my

And I woke up And you're a bit into your own arm Yeah It was this side And I had like When I woke up like a big Yeah Around my

I bit so fucking hard To try and get this fucking asshole off me Well that's what you get for trying To choke out my best friend Thank you So You choke out my best friend You get bit

Get you a girl that can do both Do you know what I mean Damsal in distress Damsal in the bite you And did you like or when you figured out what had happened? I was in pain. But I was like, I was like, oh, what am I doing?

And then I was like, oh, and it all kind of flooded into my mind. Were you embarrassed? Yeah, I was. Yeah, it took me a while to get back to sleep. Because I think I was just to be like, oh, I didn't see that? Oh, if you've been choked out and bitten, like that's going to wake you up a little. Thank you so much. It's sobering, you know.

Yeah. But I think that's a pretty good dream chat. That's an amazing dream chat. On the scale of dream chat. Yeah, and I woke up and I was fucking fairly, like it was. Do you often have dream? about being choked out? No, it was like a not a nice dream. I don't really remember any other context of it though.

Like I obviously remember that part and waking up and then being like, but how funny that I was in the right spot for that to be the, what happened. Well, what came first, they're getting choked or the, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, you know how they say if you are dreaming about like running water or whatever and then you like wake up, you like really need to pee or you've like wet the bed or whatever? Like if you dream that you're in like, like swimming or water. where I'm like looking for a bathroom.

Really? Yeah. And that means... Someone likes dream chat. No, but then I can't find somewhere to pee. Oh. And that's not a dream. That's a nightmare.

Thank God. Because if I did, I probably would have pissed. Oh. Because I'm like, oh, I can't go. I can't go. And then I wake up and I go, fuck, I really need to piss. You pee a lot in your life. Do you pee through the night?

Like, do you get up to go to the bathroom a lot or not? Yeah. But not like crazy. Not like too much. But like... It's going to say, because we sleep together, not to, like, but we stay together a lot. And I don't feel like I've ever noticed. I'm pretty heavy sleeper, though.

Well, because I, when I've had a dream that I peed in the dream, I'll then go, oh, and like, put my hand in and I go, please put it. I'm like, oh, thank God. I don't you? I feel like you know sooner than that, don't you, if you wake up and you've pissed the bed. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you don't have to check.

You can feel it. But I never have that I'm like, I'll be waking up, like, busting that I'm like, oh, thank God. One day it'll happen, though. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we all wish there. And I hope that's next to you on a plane. That you pierce yourself while you're asleep. Yeah.

I hope it's not. I really hope it's not. No, that's like what's the worst case scenario is probably that. Yeah, I think wedding yourself while you're asleep on the plane would be terrible. Because you can't, like, clean yourself up or anything. We, no, like you couldn't, you can't have a shower or like, like, you're, even if you changed your pants or your underwear or whatever. But like... We can have a shower if we're sitting where Charles sits.

In the, what is it called a suite or something in Charles? Yeah. It's only on Emeritus. They're for shower. I'm so sorry. I've never flown them, okay? Are you flying them when we go to the mystery location next week for the birthday? I don't know.

Oh, because Charles doesn't even know the location yet. Oh. Well, he booked the Airbnb, so I hope he does. It's a mystery for everybody. More details on our fifth birthday party and where in the world it is coming soon. But first, these are top confessions. Oh, you really push that singing out and I appreciate it. One of the craziest confessions we've ever had is the psychologist.

If you knew here, Charles Roll the tape. I'm a psychologist, so please keep me anonymous as I can't break confidentiality clauses. Oh, you sound sick there too. But I have to tell someone. A patient of mine told me she was sleeping with a married man. and the guilt was eating her alive. Yeah, okay. The patient said the man was going to leave his wife for her.

Yep. And she was like, well, I love this guy, but I feel bad. And I'm like a home wrecker. You would feel bad, but you'd be like, oh, my happiness, you're like, how do you decide that? Later that week, my husband told me he was leaving me for a woman he's been sleeping with. my husband was having a fling with my patient and I couldn't tell either of them or anyone because of the confidentiality clauses

but I need to tell someone and I just need to scream what the fuck guess me every time same same same same so I tried to say so true and same at the same time yeah that's where I'm at that's where I'm at chapter Gold Coast so you know the algorithm sends that video off from time to time.

Yeah. And they said they don't mind if I mentioned their name, but should I keep them anonymous anyway in the spirit of confessions? I think, yeah, it's only fair. It's found someone and they've gone, hey, I've just seen this clip on your pod. I feel compelled to share this story with you. Oh.

I was hooking up with my psychologist son. I told her in extreme detail how much of a simp he was. Boring person, dud in the bedroom. I was so unsatisfied sexually that I ended up being mean to him. Oh. I did not know it was her son. Okay. Yeah.

Fuck. She didn't know it was her son. They're like, you know, you seem a bit, what's up? And she's just like, I'm just a bit so mad at the moment. Like, I'm with this guy and he sucks and like. Yeah. I'm not into him. The sex is shit.

Yeah. And I'm just like, I'm in a real funk. What am I doing? I didn't know it was her son. She didn't know it was her son. until I ran into the two of them at Starbucks, mum and son getting a coffee. And he's gone,

Hey, babe. As soon as I saw them together, it clicked. My son introduced me to his mother, my therapist. And we both just stared at each other. Like we'd both seen a ghost. Are Ryan, this is Tony, Tony, this is Ryan? Hey, Mom, you know that?

that person I've been telling you about? You know that girl? Oh, I'm so into her. And she's like, I are. All that stuff he told me was my son. Yeah. His little limp dick.

As a psychologist in that situation, do you have to break up with the client? I don't think it mattered because. Oh, I break up happened. I left without getting a coffee and I never saw either of them ever again. Yeah. You would just be embarrassed that you had said all that stuff about their son.

Yeah. And they would be embarrassed that they'd heard all that stuff about their son. Yes. Here's what I want to know and we don't know the answer. Actually, I can message because they DM me. Does the son know? Yeah. I think here's my take on that.

Leave him in blissful unknowarness. Ignorance. Yeah. Ignorances, please. Because in that situation. I'm coughing. We're trying to do a podcast. in it.

Sorry. We're actually... Okay. So I just want some attention. Some of us are trying to do a fucking show. And coffee McCofferson. I said I didn't want to do an episode today. I think it's kindest to yet just leave him because it's not fair that he knows that his mom knows that stuff.

Yeah. I wouldn't want to know. I like, no, don't do it. I don't want to know if you're... Tell me, keep it on the look. Oh, baby, I don't want to know. I don't even know what you were singing. You know five years ago when we're like, we should start a podcast.

No. Look what it's come to. I don't remember at all. Look what it's come to. Slay, well, yeah, I think that you would want to not know, as you'd say. I don't want to know. But you would just be embarrassed. rest you. And every time I reckon that, so the tap of it's DM does, I reckon every time

they think about it, they just go, like you would just cringe every time you think about it. Is there like the psychic should have? Like a rule with psychologists that they don't approach you or acknowledge you in public unless you like maybe say something. I think that is the case. Because my therapist that I used to go to, like Dr. therapist, he's so wonderful. He was like, and I said to him, I was like, oh, if I see you out and he was like, he was like, he was like, like, oh, I actually normally say to people, like, I will never approach you, but if you approach me and say hello, I will say hello, but then that's kind of it. Yeah.

But he was like, but I will never come up to you. So it's like, if I was out and about, he's never going to come over, be like, oh, Tony and I'm with someone. And then he's like, who's the, and I'm like, this is my therapist if I'm like not ready to tell someone that or whatever. So when I was like in a real bad way in Perth, I was in like Perth Hospital. Beautiful hospital. Beautiful people.

Well, they're one of my worst days. I got along really well with a lot of people there and... Like the other patients or like the people that were in there. Both patients and... The staff. The staff. Oh, well, I've told you some of the stories about the patients. Yeah.

It was a kooky time. Yeah. I was going to say good time. Yeah. Strangely, it was strangely a good time. It was what you needed. Yeah, it was a kooky time. One of the nurses came up to me.

I was at an event. I was filming some stuff. Yeah. And she goes, oh, hey, Ryan, I'm going, because I was filming something. Yeah. She goes, can I ask a question? And I was like, oh, sure. And she goes, oh, do you mind if, you know, you come over here?

And she kind of like pulled me away because I was with Bridget and a few friends and stuff. And she said, oh, like, I'm one of the nurses at the Perth hospital. Yeah. Just wanted to say how pumped we out for you to see out and about doing well. And, you know, we're really proud of you and stuff like that. Yeah. I didn't want to say anything in front of Bridgett because I, you know, that was like our thing. Yeah.

Yeah, and I was like, oh, bridge will be fine, but like, even though they're not supposed to do that. And I don't know if this is going on it, but like, fuck that, I really appreciated that. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. And because I was helping this, I think I've told you about that girl who was like writing some poems and I was like helping her. Oh, yeah. One of the other patients she was writing.

And she was like, oh, so-and-so was like, wanted to let you know that she's finished her thing and whatever. And I don't know if you know that. And I was like, no, I didn't. So that was like really cool. I feel like the nurses would, um, read the room of where. whether you would be open to that. Yeah. Because some people just wouldn't,

but, you know, you're like very willing to talk about your journey and like what you'd been through and stuff. So they're probably like, oh, no, we want to like let you know. That's really sweet. One of them,

I said, they said, what do you do for work? And I said, oh, have you heard of Heidi Xavier and Ryan? And she goes, and you're like, well,

unfortunately I'm the Ryan. Yeah. Or I was, R. No, I was like, I'm the Ryan. And she goes,

like, she just goes, oh, like that show sucks. Yeah. And then I, And then I was like, oh, that's me. And she goes, oh, sorry. And I went, oh, it doesn't matter. I think it sucks, too.

That's kind of the reason I'm here. But you're on a good show now. No, no, no, it's a good one. Yeah. We got a good one. You know Tony and Ryan? I'm Haley from Maine and Victoria. This is Zoe.

Hi, I'm Laurel from Wright Sound, South Wisconsin. Hi, I'm Katie with two eyes. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Now, just before we get into our champion, Tapa shoutouts. Over at our Patreon, which is where our champion Tarpers all live in a beautiful community together. There are a few perks.

I respond to the DMs. We do live streams. And recently, over the last few months, we've been giving away trips to Fiji with us. Absolutely. One time every month, someone gets a trip to Fiji. So we're taking eight Tarpers and their plus ones to Fiji. It was return flights. Everything included, like an amazing prize.

If everyone says on my dog. Buffet breakfast. Sunscreen and a flight by Ryan. Yeah. And we have one spot left and we are ready to call our final winner. Let's do it. I hope she answers. Because I'm all excited now.

I get that. Hello. Hello, is this Kelly Morrissey? Yeah. Kelly Morrissey. I hardly know a C. Oh my God. Oh my God.

No. Hi, Kelly. Well, it's Tony and Ryan from the podcast. Oh, you're all kidding. Which podcast? From the Tony and Ryan podcast. Thank you. And we just wanted to see if you wanted to go to Fijian!

I need it, I need it, I need it so bad. We know. We are so excited. What is amazing? Yes, yes, yes, yes. I really know. Yes. Is he playing?

I'm so, so, Kelly. I really just started playing from Charles's Spotify. I'm so sorry. Now, I believe there's a direct flight from Perth to Fiji. Is that correct? There must be. There must be. If there isn't, we'll figure it out.

We'll figure it out. You know what? We'll figure it. Whatever it is, mate. We'll figure it out. God damn. Where are you at the moment? I'm not even kidding.

I'm walking my daughter's pram home from school that has three fake babies in it. Well, you can only bring one person. Yeah. And it is 18 plus. So the three babies are going to have to stay down. The three babies are going to have to pay rock scissors. You know what? The partner I'll have to do.

I'm sure I'll bring him. It's fine. Oh, okay. Yeah, Slay. And you know what? You can figure that out. But all we need to know is that Kelly, you're fucking coming to Fiji with us.

Oh, I'm fucking coming. Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. I'm pumped for you. Can't wait to hang out with you and I can't wait to apply sunscreen to you if you've with your consent. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what? I'm a fully consenting adult. Sla. Slay. Oh, Slop. I don't judge that if you bring your partner. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, that's it. I'm taking a selfie now so that way these guys can see what a dickhead I look like.

Yes, I want to say it. That's amazing. Well, Kelly, we'll send you all of the like logistics chat. So you've got all the details, but you're in bitch. We can't wait to see you. Hell yes. Oh, my God, I can't wait. Can't wait to see her. That's so good. Oh, what an amazing. Oh, my God. She's the best. See up. She's going to be a lot of fun on the trip, eh? Oh my God Tony I think there's going to be some competition

for loudest gal From Perth Oh there's only room on this trip For one loud girl from Perth Unfortunately Kelly You guys are gonna have to fight it out I might stay on

Yeah Thank you so much to everybody that entered though It was really lovely reading everyone's answers Yeah Thank you very much for being part of it A few of our champion tappers That didn't win Elma

Some of our non-travelling tarpest Mark Bailey, good on your mark. Andy Thornton Ziegler, good on you, Andy. Molly, the poor man's Tony Brennan. Molly. Is that the Kelly we just spoke to? The poor man's Tony? Just louder from Perth.

Is that just all the characteristics? Loud from Perth. Also, if you're in Perth, we're doing a live recording of the pod, November 18. Yeah, Slay. We're drip feeding some dates here. I feel like we drip fed one yesterday because I found out we're going a Hobart. Slaid. Where else are we going?

Canberra, November 1, Melbourne, November 2. and Adelaide, Brisbane, Sydney next year. Wednesday, Perth. Perth is Wednesday the 18th. So there is an official announcement of that coming in like two weeks. So act surprised. Sarah Jane, aka SJ, but on your SJ. Blair Nelson.

Thanks, Blair. Jody Paul, Emma Saunders and Kerry Ornton. Thank you very much. Orton. Orton. Kerry Orton. Carrie Spring. Kerry Springer.

Kerry's summer What? Oh like the seasons I'm doing season comedy Yeah I wasn't Sorry about that I was doing Kerry It's not the season for you to understand

Jim Kerry Um it's like Sorry I'm so cooked up on cough syrup I'm just I know Look at me just sitting here You're doing your best I know you look like

Such granddad energy right now Just happy to be here You got your cup of tea Can I just tell you something Yeah Fucking What else are we doing Yeah

I am just happy to be here. Mate, that is really beautiful. Like, I've been coughing my dick off at home. And there's not much left to give. There's not much left to give. And as much as it's like going to work when you're sick and high on cough syrup, you're just like,

but I like going to work because I like hanging out with the tapas and I like hanging out with my best friend Tony Lodge. That's really nice. That is really nice. I think I might cry. Oh, nothing's coming out. Oh, I'm so dry because of cold and flu tablets. And there is sitting in the air con and stuff.

Oh my God. But do you ever get like, because I've been like this a lot recently and. Like sick. No, like, because you're so fucked. And you just sort of. You can't tell. You become like gooey and cuddly. Yes.

You just like, oh, I just. Yeah. Like if my greatest enemy walked in, I'll be like, fucking come and sit down, mate. You wouldn't if she walked in. Oh, no, I'd kick her. Yeah. But I've got some logistics chat. Okay, about the birthday party.

Yeah, so not this Sunday, but the Sunday after is our fifth birthday party. Oh, sorry, logistics chat. Is it the 23rd of August for us or for the? Tony doesn't understand time zones. No, but do you know what I mean? It is the 23rd of August, is the date of the party. For where it is. Slay.

And everywhere. In that time zone. But you know what I mean? No. You know what I mean, hey Charles. Yeah. In the time zone where the party is,

it is on the Sunday afternoon, the 23rd. Yeah. Local time. Logging on. We are doing a paint and sip. Yes. I've never done that before.

I'm so excited. They're so fun. They're so fun. And you'll probably be good at it because you're good at craft. But I'm not that good at fainting Have you seen that fucking drawing of you on the wall up there? I'm not that good at painting.

Is that of me? Get fucked. Nah, I take that back. Because the one under is supposed to be of me. That's not very good. If you had to guess who the one of you is, it's probably you. But the one of you looks like Vincent Van Gogh. It does.

Yeah, it does. So if you look at it with that lens, it's quite a good painting. Yeah. Anyway, logistics chart. But they teach you through it because they teach you through it, because they teach you how to paint and stuff. And everyone gets a Tony and Ryan apron for the painting. And then we'll do a live podcast recording there.

And that'll be the next couple of days episode, Time Zone Chat. What? I just coughed and I coughed the tea onto my jumper. Has that stained? Because I gave you that purple tea. I'll just pretend that it didn't happen. I know that you stole that jumper from an Apple photo shoe. Yeah.

But I still, I was just about to say it doesn't matter. I didn't buy this. It's a little good jumper, though. And Craig from Craig and Charles has the same one. Shout out Power FM South Australia. Slay. Country Road. They're everywhere.

He's from Country Road. I think so. Country Road. Take me home. To the place I belong. West Virginia. I don't know. I thought you were there with me on that.

I didn't know the next line either way. Here's the thing. We started our friends. It was good. It was all pretend. Sorry, I've had got to it. It's just very close to the original that we might get up here. Fuck up, Charles.

I'm getting sweaty. Same. I think that I'm... No, I'm not going to say it. Gone. I'm worried. I'm getting sick. I know.

After Charles the other day, he goes, isn't it? crazy how you haven't been sick for three months. You said I'm on a hot streak of not getting sick. No, you said I was on a hot streak of not getting sick. And you agreed. I did agree. And I was telling you to shut up.

Charles was to shut up. But I feel like I'm getting a bit of a fever and my throat. Go home and take. All right. And let me know how the rest of the episode got. I'm a force. Yeah, I've got a force up. And I've got to do my gargle, my better den gargle.

So true. I've got it sitting in the shower. It's ready. Logistics chat about the birthday party. So it's at 2pm. Yeah. Oh, I know what you're going to say. I think it's too late for a lunch and it won't go late enough for a dinner.

But I feel like we need to provide food at the party. Because it's a birthday party. Let's go back in time at the London birthday party. We didn't do food, but we did do drink cards. Yep. So we lick it everyone up. And we learned. And bought them beers.

Learned the hard. Learned the hard way that that's probably not the right move. That's okay. For the birthday party on the boat in Vancouver. Yep. Everybody got a drink card, but there was also Subway. Lots of Subway and cookies. Lots of Subway.

Yeah. Lots of Subway. The largest order in Subway Vancouver history. There was so much left over. It didn't go to waste because the crew on the boat all ate it. And then they donated the rest. Like there was like a local mission that they donate food to that goes to. day.

Yeah. So that was beautiful. Like, at least it went to good hands, good mouths. Yeah. I just think that we always do an over-cater. Yeah. And you don't want to do an under-cater. That's the worst thing you can do.

But an over-cater, it feels like such a waste. So we just want to cater. Yes. I do hardly know-a, because I always over-cater. I would hate for people to go hungry, you know? So what I've proposed is one of those. epic like grazing platters. Nibbles.

A Sunday afternoon grazing platter. That's nice. And I'm requesting. And Lil has to organise this and she's not here to offend herself. Honeycomb. That is fancy when you sit like the full comb. Mm. Because then we're painting.

Yep. We're having some nice little nibbles. Maybe you've had a brunch earlier and you're going up for dinner later. Oh. So this is just. This is just a little nibby. You're not turning up hungry being like, feed me. I'm about to die.

Yep. I'm here to paint. Yep. I'm here to have friends. And the nibis are like a great bonus. The only thing with a big nibbies is that I have seen like a few workshops and stuff now do like a single serve niby. Like so you get a plate with a little bit of cheese, a couple of crackers to meat or whatever because then like, Alice. because it's like nuts and dairy and everything.

Well, we do have to think about it. If people are vegan, then you want to make sure that they get the vegan stuff and other people don't. It's the big board of cheese and nuts. Charles, which will you have? Yeah, Charles, what are you going to have? He's going to get some subway from Vancouver,

so little left over. Is there any dairy or nuts in local craft beer? Which this place has a culture of? We aren't allowed to take alcohol to the venue, though. Oh. We did literally talk about this the other day. Yeah, we're not allowed to take alcohol into the venue, but we are allowed to take Diet Coke. Can we buy it from the venue?

I think maybe not because we aren't, like... Licensed in that country. We're not licensed here. So true. We're not licensed anywhere. Including this place. Yeah, we don't own pub. So, like, I did do my RSA back in the day.

Same. Yeah. So that's good. Oh, so is that all you need? I think we are qualified. I think we are qualified. Oh, that'll be asleep. But.

It's a podcast. It's not life. Yeah, but they're not going to be awake now. Yeah, but they'll be awake when they're listening. Slai. Oh, there's that cough syrup. No, because I don't think we're like hiring the functions of that part of the space. Can you see the water?

Yeah. Yeah, I always got my bottle with me, though. would we get a local beer? I don't think we can take any alcohol in. Local to the place where we're in. Somewhere in the world. I just, I don't know if we can do alcohol in the thing. Yeah.

So true. But like, we can't get Diet Coke. We have checked. Can we get local sodas? Yeah, absolutely. Because I want to lean into the fact where somewhere else. Yeah, totally. Is there a local food?

that maybe we could... I'm going to shut the fuck up because yet, I'm in the obvious stuff. But do you know what I mean? Like maybe a grazing platter is not what they're best known for. But then again, no one's known for grazing platter.

I reckon Australia is. Oh, you don't go, What's Australian cuisine? I'm not saying we don't have good ones here, but it's not like, oh, what's Australian food? Oh, a grazing platter. I reckon Australian food, though, is nibs. We love nibs.

Put in the comments of today's episode thread, what is Australian known for? We love a nibby. Surely we're just known for like shrimp on the Barbie or something fucking dumb like that. Yeah. And like a sausage. Yeah. Slay, love a sausage down. Put a sausage in me right now though.

Do you know what? Oh. The modern. Oh, it's a trend in Australia and New Zealand. I was right. It's like, but I think that if we do nibbies, it has to be. But it's popular here, but we're not known for it. But I think we are known for it.

I googled who is known for a grazing club. Yeah, but type in what Australian food is like well known. No, but that's a different question. I just said, I just said I think that we've been known for it. Anyway, I think that if we do nippies, do you reckon we've got to do the little chakouterie like single serve, which I'm very down for. But is that too fiddly for a big group?

I don't know. I don't want people to be left out if they're like vegan or dairy or whatever. What if the grazing platter at one end is dairy? Yep. And the other end is vegan. and it's like a spectrum. And you just get to decide. You're going to go, oh, like,

because usually I'd avoid dairy, but I might have a bit. So I'm going to, it's your birthday. So it is, but literally my birthday. So I might be around the middle. You know what I mean?

Oh, you know where I am? Parked up the dairy and iron guts over here. She's sucking off the cow at the top. Oh, I fucking would do. Oh my God. Don't tell you about that truck I saw.

Just tell you about that truck I saw. Why is that reminded you of anything that happened in real life? life. No, I sure you, I was this type of this morning that it would sit on the side of it, double D milk. And I was like, what are they haul on? And it was D and D milk on the website, but it says double D milk. D and D.

It's real milk. I thought they would just haul on breast milk. And I was like, slow, but like, that's crazy. A huge truck of breast milk. Of double D milk. Yeah, not that I'd know. Mine get little boobies. And no milk in there.

A little milk. Because Charles did money of mummy's milk? I'd take everything back. When did Charles reference mummy's milk? What was that? It was in Sweden. Both of us know? We were in the Airbnb in Sweden.

We both recalled that too quickly. Yeah. Your shirt had a zipper that day. I found out I was wearing a breastfeeding top. My accident. That's right. Sweden. Yeah.

Did you see the water from there? Hardly know it. You can. All right. I love Sweden. First official clue. Monday. Is Monday.

But I will have a... Even if we might have given it away today. I will have mine not crossword but word search up today. And from this city, you can see water. So with the word search. The answer is in the... But that shouldn't... Should that be an official clue for next week then?

Not this week. No, like, logistics... Cold syrup. Cough syrup. Cough syrup. whatever it thug-glass gangster no it's not an official clue

absolutely not well it's a clue but it's not an official clue but like if we've got to come up with four clues should we do you know what I mean yeah but you can't describe a word search on a podcast yeah I think the word search is irrelevant

doing an extra clue is what I'm like referring to you know what I mean take what you said about word search is back they are back very relevant that's not fair I've got a really good you love to see it Please So for the past year

About a year ago Just over a year ago Because it was just before I broke my foot I joined my local CWA Yep So I've just passed my year anniversary Of being a CWA lady Thank you so much

And I And I have finally been presented With my lanyards and card as a member of the CWA. For those playing... Don't zoom in, Charles to get my member number on it. I need that for my volunteering logbook. For those of you playing along the home,

the CWA is like the Country Women's Association. The average age is about 73. No, it's not. Beryl just turned 80, but that's not the half of us. Is Beryl still? Beryl is doing excellently. Thank you for asking. And have a hoof of this high GSM card that I got.

So this is my... A card carrying member. So this is my certificate of membership. So it's dated from when I joined, like just over a year ago. But I only just got it because the ladies at the front office, they're slow. And it's taken a year. She's the GSM on that paper is delicious. Isn't that high?

That's smooth. Charles, have a fucking hoof of this. It's beautiful. I'd throw it, but I wouldn't make the diss it. It would just plonk right down. It's like a brick. Isn't that nice? Can we maybe contact them about where we get our calendars printed?

And if you'll see this, that is a wet signature. That's not printed. So they actually, nah, they actually sign them all. Beryl could have thrown her fucking wrist out. Is that a real?

Are you sure? That's a wet signature. No, that's wet. That's a wettie. And I'm... Oh, fucking state president went off the line. Yeah, I mean.

She needs to lift. Yeah. But as somebody who begins a lot of hobbies and like doesn't hang around with a lot of stuff, I love being part of the CWA and I'm a very proud member and I've just over a year now that I've been there. I'm very proud of you. Thank you so much.

And now I've got my lanyard with my name on it. I know people who wear lanyards get a bad rap, but I fucking live for a lanyard. Oh my God. You're just so much better than everyone. Okay, that almost took an eye out. That was an amazing throw. But yes, I just wanted to share that with everybody because I'm really proud of myself. That's so good.

I'm proud of you. Thank you so much. It's got my full government name on there, Tony Louise Lodge. Yeah, that's crazy. I'm like, oh, I don't actually know what I'm doing with my last name yet. Maybe that's why they've been. It's been too late. Maybe they've been waiting.

Yeah, they're like, what's she going to do? Where are you at with your last name? Oh, I still don't know. I've requested, this is where I'm at. This is quite literally where I'm at. I've requested the certificate I need to change it. Oh. Because I was like, if I've got it, then I can do it or I don't have to.

Yeah, right. Like, because if you order it from birth, death and marriages, it takes like three months. Yeah. So I was like, oh, so I'll order it.

It's like $17. And it's like the official, you know, actual marriage certificate or whatever. Yep. So I've ordered that. So that means you're kind of thinking about it. Well,

that way, when I go, I'm going to do it, I just can do it. Yeah. Because if I go, I'm going to do it and then I have to order the thing

that takes three months, then it will never happen. So, you know how I went, through the... Should I take this line you're off? No. Okay.

Never. Never. Never. The ADHD diagnosis process. Yes. The doctor's like, it's actually a really long and drawn out process. And I was like, do you know the people you deal on with? Yeah.

Like, no your audience. Yeah. But like, yes, then you got to book this and you're going to do this. I'm like, well, that's, I'm never going to do it. Yeah. That's like, not going to happen. The fact I'm here today is amazing. And you just go, thank you so much.

You just walk out. Yeah, literally. And I was just like, dude, read the room. So it seems like, and even you saying that, I go, well, yeah, fucking don't worry about it. Nah. Because three months. Like, I've lost interest. I'm not even married anymore.

Yeah. What's the average length of a marriage these days? I'm going to do an official guess. I'm going to say two and a half years. The average length of a marriage. Yeah. I'm going to say it short. 11.

Charles, Google it. In Australia, the average age is 13.2 years. Slay, you did better than me. Is it two anywhere? Maybe in Hollywood. Hello. If your name starts with a K, ends in a K, it's 60 days. What?

So wasn't Kim Kardashian and Chris Humphrey's married for fucking two minutes? Yeah. Yeah. I contribute to pop culture. Ended in a K though. It doesn't end in a K. Kardashian. Does that end in a K?

Is it Kardashiank? Oh, the end name starts with the K. Oh my God. Commonly referred to as an end name. What am I doing about my end name? I want to be your end name. That's very funny. That's like all of my bullshit was worth it.

To get there. Thank you so much. Yeah. I just want to say I'm really sorry everyone. Nah, you're slaying it, dog. Honestly. And who knows? That's okay.

Don't remind him about the word search. He will have forgotten. He'll have forgotten. Slowed the crossword, yeah. No, I've already posted it. The wordal. The New York Times. New York Times birthday party.

The New York Times wordle of the day today is the city where our party is. Asterisk. Not true. Yeah. Slaid. Spoilers. Imagine if it was, though. Spoilers for the word all.

Like just. Yeah. Coincidence. Oh, yeah, it'd be amazing. It'd be hard to spell it with five letters. Yeah, too long. Thank you. Do you have you love to see it?

Oh. Sorry, I thought we were done. We all hoped we were, but unfortunately. What do I love to see? Oh, shout out to Maxie. Hi, Maxie. This ends well. Great.

Just like me. Just like this podcast. I had a long stretch battling health and mental health issues while, you know, trying to get uni Ryan, get a job that worked and it just nothing was clicking, nothing was working out. And it's a tough part of your life as well when you just feel like, you don't have a lot of direction. This week, I finally landed a job at my local RASL, represent Cartarian member. And I was a bit anxious about like, how am I going to go facing customer? and dealing with the public and it's a lot of people coming in, keep it in.

Yeah. I did a bunch of trials and I surprised myself, no nerves, zero health flare-ups and I was actually really proud of myself that I stuck it out. Now I'm actually having a really good time chatting to lots of people and it's just, I've found my spot. That would be such a great gig. People are coming in now, oh, you know, familiar face. I'm familiar face to them, their familiar face to me.

The guys are work great. Yeah, and it's, oh, I found a little bubble. Everyone's real supportive. feeling really good about myself. So Max, that's my love to see it today, man. Good fucking on you. I fucking love that so much. Good job. And I assume the beers at your local Aris is still $2.80 for a pot. And that's fucking awesome. What's a pot? Like the little, little grenade. Like a midi? Oh, you're from Perth. You don't understand how things work here. Is it a midi? A schooner? A midi's not a real thing. A schooner is a different thing here than these

other basis. Sorry. Because I think a midi and a, yeah, that's fucked in Perth. It's also fucked in New South Wales. It's a midi, though, are in Perth is the same amount? I think so. A midi is the same as a pot. Oh, Slay.

Oh, a schooner is bigger than that. Yeah. Oh, well, what's South Australia fucking doing? No, but in New South Wales, I'm pretty sure they call that big one a schooner. I think saying a midi sounds cool, though. Like, oh, yeah, I'll get a midi of lemon lemon, bitters. Like, that's, that's a nice order. Yeah, a pot. I'll get a bloody pot. Like, sounds real English, eh? I had a pint the other day at Moon Dog. Did you really? They're so big.

Yeah, it's a lot of liquid. It's a lot of liquid. Yeah, it feels my tummy up. I was so bloated. Pissing all day. Hammered off like one of them. Yeah. All right. Love you so much. Are we still on? Thank you so much for coming. Appreciate it very much. Love you. See you tomorrow. Question more. Question more. Love you. Bye. West Virginia. How'd you know. Bye. Love you.