Toni and Ryan - I Love a Plump Honey Eater

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

I AM THE PLUMP HONEY EATER!!!! love ya xoxoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bonjour Canada! This episode is brought to you by Oxio, the Canadian internet provider that finally feels like home. And Ryan, you know that feeling when you get home, you take your shoes and socks off, take your bra off, and like, for you it's your house clothes, but for me it's my nightie? Yeah, I mean your nightie's house clothes. But I put my nightie on and... Well it is pure bliss, isn't it? Well, with Oxio, your internet can feel like home too. It actually already does.

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None of that nonsense. And we've just said all the things they don't have but call and pretend to cancel just to get a better deal. It's a great hack, but you don't need that here. None of that nonsense. And we've just said all the things they don't have, but they do have stable, fast internet. So you can Google, how to become a professional mattress tester while binging trash TV in your pajamas and ordering three kinds of chips. I didn't write that, but someone who knows me did.

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Thank you. Their support team is actually helpful and they're 100% online so you'll never be put on hold. You can message them from your couch, from your butt groove or the bathtub anywhere, no judgment, they'll fix it for you. From the bath, that's alright, that's a bit of me. Try Oxio for 60 days and if it doesn't feel like home, they'll give you all your money back, all of it, literally every cent. Yep, head to oxio.ca. So O-X-I-O.C-A and use the code tarptarp and get one month free. So it's really no secret that we love comfort and we love lounging

and today's episode is sponsored by Cozy, who we love and what we love to be, who make everyday home furnishings easy. Modern, adaptable and worry-free, cosy design furniture for real life to make your day-to-day feel a little bit lighter. They also make the assembly super easy before you know it. Literally, blink of an eye, stunning, comfy couch. Love it.

And the best bit is when you wanna refresh your space or if you move house, you can just reconfigure your couch. It adapts to you, your home, your way. It's the people's couch. And I've always said that you can mix and match, rearrange, add pieces, whatever you want. It's modern, practical and totally personalizable. So your home actually feels like your home. Plus it's great for those of us who are a little messy. Rude. Now the covers, they are interchangeable,

they are washable, which makes cleaning up simple and stress-free. You love to see that. Transform your space and visit cosy.ca. That's C-O-Z-E-Y.ca. The home of possibilities made easy. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. I'm Tony. This is Ryan and we start every single episode with a tarpa approval. Yep, a tarpa is a Tony and Ryan podcast. Now Shelby is in- Shelby coming round the mountain when she comes. Sorry Shelby, I know you've probably heard that before. But Shelby, who's the biggest tarpa in your house?

Because I believe someone loves us more than you do. It might be my 11 year old golden retriever mix, Digby. Oh, Digby is such a fucking cute name for a dog. Thank you. Can I hear him? Yeah, is Digby in the background? Yes, he is. Hi, Digby.

Hi, Digby. Now what happens when the podcast starts playing at your house? So every morning when I'm laying in bed and I roll over and turn the podcast on, that is when he gets up and comes to cuddle. Like that is his wake up. If I'm playing something else, he does not move. He knows your voices. Oh my God, that is the cutest fucking thing I've ever heard in my whole entire life.

If for whatever reason, there was a day where I woke up and thought, I don't know if I've got the energy to get to work today, I'm going to think of Shelby and Digby and think if I don't get up, then the dog's not going to come over and cuddle and that's going to, that actually fills my cold heart. I approve of that. Shelby and Digby. He's not going to know how to start his day. That is actually beautiful. Do you and Digby. He's not going to know how to start his day. That is actually beautiful.

Do you and Digby approve today's podcast? Yes, we do. A-pove. Love you, Digby. This is Shelby and Digby from Virginia and we approve this podcast. Is it fair to say? No. I will not allow it. Tony's in a bad mood because she made Lily get her a cup of tea and then yelled at her

friend not being hot enough. Okay. None of that happened. Literally none of that happened. I'm pretty sure by the time this episode goes, are we going to put that on Patreon? Because I feel like this is all documented. Is there anything you'd like to say? No, I did not force her to make me a cup of tea and I did not yell at her about it being wrong. That none of that happened.

Have you watched the tape? Oh, shut up. Hey, you know how we share like a lot of things about our personal lives and families and stuff? Yes, I am aware. Coming up today, a monumental moment for my family that I would like to share with you, but it hasn't been like signed off yet. Oh.

So like, we will get a confirmation in this episode about whether something in my family is official. Oh my god. We'll get to that soon. We'll get to that soon. But first, let me read, because you know how I'm always reading the British Journal of Occupational Therapy? Yes. I actually, whenever you come in, I'm like, what are you up to? And I'm like, it's actually no point asking. It's the same answer every day. I'm getting up into the British Journal of Occupational Therapy. They're fair. Or as you call it, the B-Jot. The B-Jot. B-Jot.

I heard you B-Jotted someone on the weekend. I'll B-Jot you if you don't care, Paul. You B-Jotted half of Bateman's Bay. Terrence is on the phone. He can't figure out the FaceTime though, so he's holding the FaceTime up to his ear. So all I can see is the, you know, like an old person does that. You're an idiot. Yeah. Well, he might be interested in this. The British Journal.

He's got his iPad. Yeah. Oh, doesn't seeing someone. Hold up an iPad. To take a photo, just fuck off. And do you know what is like the cream on top of that beautiful pie? When the case flaps back over, so they're holding it and it's like a tent.

Like it's like... I've actually got something to say. Oh, that's actually perfect because we're... If you've got a flap on your phone or your iPad, fucking don't even bother. The flap is... Flaps are banned on iPad. Your mum would have a flap, eh? She's flapped town. or your iPad, fucking don't even bother. The flap is, oh. Flaps are banned on iPad. Your mom would have a flap, eh?

She's flap town. Yeah, she is. She would be. She is, yeah, sorry. I've just called my mom flap town and I'm just, me just taking a real moment. I love your mom's flap town. Is that what you're confirming later in the episode?

You and your mom, me and your mom are an item. Yeah, we didn't know really where to tell people. She was in Bateman's Bay. She was in Bateman's Bay. She was one of the old people I fucked. Redacted. I'm going to have to talk to this with my friends of the British Journal of Occupational Therapy because this is my occupation and I'm going to need therapy from the last 30 seconds. That 30 seconds. The British Journal of Occupational Therapy found that grandma hobbies such as knitting and gardening significantly improves happiness, reduces stress, enhances mindfulness, slows cognitive decline and expands lifespan.

Too many spans in three words there. That is amazing. Yep. Now, when I saw grandma hobbies, I was like, well, here's a bit of fun to fucking get stuck into Tony because you've got a couple of your own. But then when you read Extended Lifespan Happier, I mean, who's the joke on really? Well, that's the thing, isn't it? That you don't realise that all of that stuff is like really good for you.

Yeah. Now I traditionally don't listen and do judge, but I think today a lot of tarpas have shared their Grandma Hobbies and I reckon there's a few on the cards here for us. Yep. So did you see? Sorry, a little bug just like flew. Yeah. There's flies in the office. Yeah.

Well, they're not flies. They're like little sand gnats from one of the plants. I mean, don't know which one it is and the whole thing. And then I got in yesterday. So you obviously famously cleaned the kitchen last year. And if you watch the video about Tony making the tea, you'll also learn that I popped up the water filter. I also, and then when I got in this morning, I was like, Oh, where are they

coming from? And someone goes off from like in the sink and I go, Oh, did someone like boil up the kettle and like flush it down the thing? They went, no, we just left it. So I've done that champion of the week. Obviously fix it. Cause that was yesterday and I walked in today and guess where they all were again.

Well did you flush down the sink? No but I sprayed it and then you walked in and you were like oh it smells so good. No I think I could smell you. Yeah it was you Charles. Redacted. Redacted. But. Charles was cleaning when I got in the sink.

I was actually. Charles actually smells 22. Ah it's Charles' birthday today, he's 22. It's actually, it's actually my cousin Bonnie's birthday today. And Charles happens to be on the same day. Oh, Bonnie and Charles, a match made in heaven. Yeah. Coincidence.

Anyway, sorry. Oh, do you know what? Happy birthday, Bonnie. We're going to call her later. Um, what did you say about knitting and gardening? I've just ordered a whole bunch of seeds. From Terrence? Yeah, he gave me his seed, I didn't have to order it. No, I just ordered a whole bunch of dry seeds to do the garden out back. Okay. Okay, so this is your energy. Yeah, it is. Tamika, who's a tarpa.

I'm a tarpa Tamika. As soon as I hit 30 I became oddly obsessed with bird life. Now Tony's not a bird guy. I'm not a bird guy, but I can appreciate it. My current faves in the local area are the zebra finch and the white plum honey eater. That's what Terrence calls me. White plum honey eater. Yeah. Oh honey. A white plum honey eater? Yeah. Oh honey. Look into the camera and wink.

Oh, she's eating honey out of... Charles, she's trying to be sexy. Don't dry reach. That's a bit like onions. Toni just squeezed the bottle of honey into her mouth. Did you? Was it sexy though? Um, you can watch the tape back. Okay. Tony just squeezed the bottle of honey into her mouth. Did you? Was it sexy though?

Um, you can watch the tape back. Maybe we'll put that on Patreon and they can decide. I don't know if you want that public, like proper public, you know what I mean? I know the internet's the internet. Could we Charles, um, our fair chat, could we send that to Torbz? No. He's seen it. He doesn't need the video. He's got one. He doesn't. Who doesn't? He's got one what? Like a video of me like him coming my mouth I guess is what I was inferring but like he doesn't have that. Welcome to Grandma

Hobbies episode and a big family announcement. Hey, hey, Grandma's can suck dick too. Look at your mum. And we've always said that. My mom listens to this show and she loves it. And we're good friends. Apparently. Mandy and I. Mandy, Mandy. That's what they call her in Bateman's Bay. On Charles's birthday.

OK, yeah. Oh, sorry, I'm going to have to... This is not the time for Mira's last name. We're going to ignore it because we're mature. Okay. Mira Cockbent has said, that's not right. That's not right. How dare you?

Hi, Mira. Let me send it to you. Where are you sending it? Oh, no, it's not that. Mira Couchbeck. Yeah, obviously. I've just started ballroom dancing. Grow up!

Yeah? Charles is 12 now. He's a big boy. Big powerful boy, Big powerful boy. Big powerful laptop. Mira says, I'm new to ballroom dancing, but my coordination is improving. And because you're on your toes a lot, my calves are looking mint. Oh, nice.

Yep. Dancing is really fun. I'd love to go back and do ballet because I used to do ballet heaps as like a kid. Do you still have your little shoes? I do. Yep. Yep, I do. My little shoes. Lolina. Oh hi Lolina. My new hobby is eating dinner at 4.30 and it fucking rules. When I had dinner with you guys that day

remember I said how good because then you get to have a little snack about 9 p.m. Yeah. Little piece of raisin toast and a cup of tea. Made well obviously. Made to Tony's standard. Made to my test? Carly Frank, I send my completed puzzles to the magazine and try to win prizes. You know how it's like you fill out the thing and- And take five and stuff? Yeah, and you send it in?

Oh my god, I forgot that even existed. Yeah, isn't that Pete grandma behaviour? That is good. How come's they're like 200 bucks? What? Yeah, they're like Fates Good Cash with a big crossword. That is good. How come they're like 200 bucks? What? Yeah, they're like fake good cash with a big crossword. Yeah, boy. Who? So, can you? Sorry, you first saying yeah, boy. I think we've found Tony's. You start talking about grandma hobbies and look at her go. It's the seeds. Did I mention they were for drugs? Yeah. So, can you Google and find out who owns

Frosty's? What owns Frosty's? What's Frosty's? You know the cereal? We don't have it here because it's too delicious. Kellogs. It is Kellogs? Yeah. Tony the Tiger, they're great.

Cause I don't think they have them in Australia cause they're too delicious. You used to be able to get them in the variety fun pack. Don't know why they did them in the big box. Oh, I've got to blow something wide open. Please. Variety fun pack. Where are they at?

It's a box with little bags in it now. It's not the little boxes that you can like tear. Oh, fuck right off. It's disgusting. It's a little plastic bag. And they go, oh, if you tear the plastic bag this way, you could fill that with milk. Fuck off.

Hold a bag with milk in it. That is literally the worst thing I've ever heard. That's a hate crime. A bag of milk. What is this a fucking horror film? Excuse me, 45 seconds ago you ate honey out of the tube. Cause I thought it would be sexy. I thought the boys would like it. I'm just like...

The birds and the bees. Is it the time to... I'm one of the birds. They're the bees, you're the bees. I'm just like, is it time to get on our high horse about how to consume stuff? A bag of milk, I'll have you know. No, that is fucked. It's certainly worse than squeezing a bit of honey out between friends. Yes.

When we used to go away on holidays, we used to get the variety fun pack. And wasn't that the highlight of the trip? Every year when we went to Broome. So I had best friend test, best friend test, best friend test. Best friend test. we used to get the variety fun pack. And wasn't that the highlight of the trip? Every year when we went to Broome. So the reason I- Oh, hey, best friend test, best friend test, best friend test, blah, blah, blah. Best friend test. Yep.

Because obviously you choose your favorite ones first. Yeah. What's always left over? What is always left over in three- Oh, it's one of two. Yep. And keep in mind, this isn't present day, this is us growing up.

Not today. Not today. Yep, yep. Not today. Three, two, one. Sultana brand. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Cause we now. It's got fruit in it, fuck you. But now. Give me your frosties. But now we love Sultana brand. Because we need the fiber. Cause we're old. We need the fiber, it's really hard.

If I'm gonna be gardening ahead of me. Fuck. Have we got any Sultana brand? Nah, we don't. And I threw out. My crunchy nut. That crunchy nut yesterday. And you were any Sultana brand? Nah, we don't. And I threw out- My crunchy nut. That crunchy nut yesterday. And you were a dick about it, weren't you?

I was. I was, it was when I was trying to get rid of the bugs, I was like, oh, Ryan, are you finished with this empty box of Garthing? Oh my God. Do you still need this empty box of crunchy? And, and I, cause I knew you were being- That's a real dad mood actually.

Yeah, and cause you were being a dick, I went, yeah, I do actually. And then you put it in the bin anyway. Yeah, I did put it in the bin. What a bitch. I went, well, you're being silly. Throw it out. So do you know, I bought that cereal to take away camping.

What cereal? The variety pack. Cause my mom always used to buy it when we went to Ploon. Did it make it back? Yes it did. And what came back? The rice bubbles. Yeah rice bubbles. Also there'd be nothing aren't they? Can I tell you something as well that I think blow this open as well. Fruit loops fucked now. What? Fucked. Not sugary anymore and the um the texture of them is all off. Too much fruit, not enough lube. And yes, yes.

The recipe they go. Who are they kidding putting the word fruit in that? Well, technically it is F-R-O-O-T. Is it? Yes. Yeah, yeah. How many kids do you reckon will go, no, that's fruit, it's good for you. I definitely do that.

Yeah, 100%. Two more here, Loretta. Hi, I definitely do that. Yeah, 100%. Two more here, Loretta. And I assume her old person hobby is having that name. Is that name, yeah. I know she says, me and the girls are loving lawn bowls. Go and have a drink, it's fun and social. That's got Sophie Woods energy. Yeah.

I'll write that. Cause open bar. Now, Clara. Hi Clara. Oh, beautiful name. Do you want to try and pronounce her last name? I'm okay. Yeah, same. I think it's got a lot of the umlauts, so I'm thinking like Swedish, Netherlands, Denmark, up there. And they're always happy, so we need to learn from them. Yeah, they are. Don't they have like the highest fucking

life satisfaction or whatever? Amazing. It's the universal health care and four day week. Actually though. That like genuinely I'll watch sunrise. So Sophie, Charles, Tony, I'm across hot topics. We're all going to guess how old Clara is. Oh, 17. Do you want me to read the statement? Yeah.

Sorry. Tony's locked in. Tony's locked in. I'm locked in. Actually, Tony's locked in. On Friday afternoon, I picked up my heart medication and was heading home to put my hair rollers in and spend the night crocheting, drinking tea, and watching reruns of House MD. Oh, 24.

He's fucked up. I think you've got it. Oh, stop. No one else needs to guess. She is 24 years old. You were locked in at 17, so I'm going to guess 24. Sophie, what would you like to lock in? I think I'm going to guess 24. What are you going to guess, Ryan? I'm also going to guess 24. Of all the ages it could have been. Do you know what I mean? What are the odds? Like one in every age possible. One in a hundred, you know? No offence, a hundred one year olds. They've got enough going for them.

They don't need me to bring them into this, you know? Hey, it's Shelby from Virginia and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Aura Frames. And Ryan, do you happen to know maybe someone? Not adding anybody but that maybe takes a million photos of maybe you know, the cutest little girl in the world And their camera roll is just overflowing with pictures You don't know what to do with. There is smoke coming out of my phone because of their 10 million photos I have of Mabel struggling to fit in my phone.

I meant the prettiest little girl ever. I obviously meant my phone. And my coworker Tony Lodge. Because filled with the prettiest little girl in the world, my little Frenchy Pippa. I thought you meant you. All my selfies. Look, if you're someone that takes lots of photos and they're just sitting in your phone doing nothing, this is for you. Yes. Aura Frames is so good and it does exactly what you've just described.

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It would be a great gift for a loved one. And they've got heaps of different styles. They're easy to set up and you can upload as many photos and videos as you want. We're talking unlimited storage. What was the last thing that you found that was unlimited? Nothing. Nothing. Apart from my ability to take pictures of Pippa and Mabel together.

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That's A-U A frames dot com. Use promo code TONYANDRYAN, T O N I A N D R Y A N. Terms and conditions apply. This episode is brought to you by Majuri and Majuri has the nicest fine jewellery. It's perfect for stacking and wearing every day and you can like play around with different styles, mix different colors and metals and stack different combos. So there's really something for everyone. And can I tell you a cute little personal note? Please. You know these gold earrings that I wear? They're majority. And they were like the first bit of jewelry I ever bought myself. Yeah. Would you say that was the gateway? That was your first like, oh, I think I'm a jewelry person now. Yes. I'm a major person now.

Put that on the front cover of it's not a book. The products are beautifully designed and have a minimal but fun vibe. Just like Tony minimal and fun. Oh my gosh. You're speaking my language. And it's also affordable. Majority pieces are designed in house and handcrafted by worldowned jewelers committed to quality craftsmanship as well as ethical and sustainable jewelry production. Plus in 2020 the brand launched the Maduri Empowerment Fund in support of higher education for underrepresented women and non-binary individuals so they're doing good while helping us look good.

Epic. Pretty good. Love it. Play, mix and stack in store in app or on madury.com A massive shout out to a few of our champion tuppers over at our Patreon. Charlotte Christopher, good on you Charlotte. Thanks Charlotte. Jordan Karsten, Shailene Doya, Sam Blackman, Ledley Moshe Pasta, fucken hell, and Taneya Dempsey, good on you. Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon. We absolutely love to see it.

There's been heaps of really fun like BTS videos in the Patreon recently. So if you'd like to check those out, they are, they're in there. Yeah. They are in there. I was also just speaking to one of the sandflies during that break, and they said the reason- Sandflies? The reason they've moved in is because the kitchen was so clean, it was now up to their standards for living.

Because it used to be too dirty, because they didn't like that. They don't like that. Yeah. And they said, Ryan, if you keep cleaning, we'll just have to stay. I'm sorry. Yeah. Oh, so you better stop. Yeah. How cool was it when we both got Sultana brand earlier? That was cool.

Best friends. Best friends. So we just held hands and Tony's got a fucking huge ring. Yeah. Plus my engagement ring. So he made it back from the beach and I got a few messages before we went away, people being like, get one of those ring necklaces, get a fake one made, or you know, whatever.

I just wore the real thing, and it was all good. Fuck, dude. Oh, I'm loose now. Because, because Lionel. My loose ring. What? Nothing. What did you just say?

No. Because of Lionel? Yeah. Oh! Yeah, these flies are fucked up. They're actually, it's really quite strange. Do we open the windows or do we close the windows? You know what I mean? No, I don't think... Are we letting more in or are we letting them get out? Oh.

I think, because they're not like, they're like little midgy sand gnats. Like they're not like flies. Oh, isn't sand gnats like super cars? Super gnats is. Sorry. But sand gnats, and're not like flies. Isn't sand gnats like super cars? Super gnats is. Sorry. But sand gnats and I'm so disgusted that I fucking know that. Super gnats are sand gnats? The super gnats would be at sound down though, hey. Yeah, it would. And I.

So you can see where I was being confused. Nah, I can. But it's G-N-A-T-S. G-N-A-T-S. Yes, gananats. G-A-N-A-T-A-N-A, yes. Yes, Ganannas. This shit is Ganannas B-O- Okay, fucked it. Anyway, what are we locking in here?

What's going on? All right, my grandpa, Eric. Yes, God rest his soul. God rest his soul, it's my mum's dad. He was an incredible baker. Yes. So when, and I God rest his soul. It's my mum's dad. He was an incredible baker. Yes. So when, and I'm guessing a lot of people like this, he worked in a factory his whole life and so when he like retired, they can't just sit still. Like the idea of doing, so he's like just needed to be busy. Well, I love being busy. Yeah. And so he got into baking. So every time there's

a family gathering, it was like grandpa would be doing like the passion fruit sponge cakes that he used to do. Oh my god. And cause he's who, like the rolling pin, right? He made that rolling pin with his hands before he's baking it. Oh, I was gonna bring that in today cause it's beautiful. It is beautiful. Yeah. We lived with them for, oh sorry, you okay Charles? I'm just trying to tell a story about my family. About his dead fucking grandfather. Yeah. I'm sorry I hit my drink bottle.

Yeah, all good though. You're lucky we even let you have a fucking drink bottle. I saw him punch yesterday. Don't fucking. Yeah, actually so true. Don't fucking hit me. Charles punched a bunny. Is that a false statement?

I punched a chocolate bunny after Ryan said punch it. I was like, can someone break this thing? Can you punch it? And Charles was like, fuck yeah, bang. Ryan would have never said that, Charles. I know Ryan like the back of my head. No I did say that. I did say that. Someone who had already left work. Yeah so we don't know we don't do that. We don't do that. Fucking Charles left the other day at 4pm to go get his fucking hair done or. Half day. We don't do that. It was a massage. It was a massage, sorry.

Massage, we don't do that. So, mum and I lived with grandma and grandpa for a while when I was little. And then every fucking day, there's like a different mix in the fruit toast. Oh, I've put today more dates and I've taken those raisins out. And then I'll mix it all a little bit.

And he just like loved it. I love fruit toast. I actually had fruit toast this morning for breakfast. How delicious is it? It's so good. It's because we're coming down from not response. I didn't home make it. Okay. It's a you know tip top one. Eric didn't make it. Now but Eric's specialty were the scones. Oh fuck. So every time it's like strangely a lot of the cousins birthdays are like close together so we'll like in clumps we'll go oh it time it's like, strangely, a lot of the cousin's birthdays are like close together. So we'll like in clumps, we'll go, oh, it's, it's Catherine and we're doing all three this Monday, September birthdays. We'll meet up and we'll have some scones.

Can I just say that's a better way to do it? Yeah. I don't want to catch up for three birthdays. Like that's three weekends in a row. All right. Crazy. So Mabel, August, my mum and Bonnie, they're within four days.

You're not like, we're just bundling that shit together. Let's have some scones. Yeah. So grandpa used to make the scones and like, do we miss grandpa? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the scones. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And it's just not the same. Without the scones. Yeah. Yeah. Not with him, I don't care. Yeah, like, you know, Without the scones. Yeah. Yeah. Not with him, I don't care. Yeah, like, you know, but the scones. Yeah.

And so my mum and her sisters, who are the daughters of grandpa, they're like, they're pretty good at baking, Linda and so they're pretty good. From our generation, Georgia is like a baking queen. She fucking dominates. That's awesome. So we're getting together for Bonnie's birthday

and Mabel's birthday. Yeah. Knock them all out. Yeah. And Bridget puts in the group chat, I'll do the scones. I ring in as well. From another country. And in-law doing that is brave. No one else worry about it. The silence that we're hearing now is what happened in the family group chat. So you know how my family never shut the fuck up? And me as well. Yeah, that's how I'm immune to your type, because I grew up with these people. They never shut the fuck up.

It's all loving and positive, but they just never shut the fuck up. Yeah. The silence in the group chat for days. Cause Bridget thought like, Oh, I'm just contributing. Sure. Nope. Say you'll bring the cream, say you'll bring some jam, anything but the actuals. I don't think she knew the gravitas of saying, Oh, I'll do the scones. What she was really saying is fuck your dead grandfather, I'm here now. No, that's what I heard when you said it. What's the equivalent to that?

Shitting on someone's grave. I would have said, I'll cook the turkey on Christmas day, as an example maybe, and maybe not shit on someone's grave. Yeah, I think like... Like in your family, is there like growing up, was there like the dish or the thing? Yeah. Well, there's loads of stuff that like my mum did that if somebody else maybe suggested

that they do it, I'd go, well, no thanks. Yeah. And what is what? Um, there's a few things. Like a really big thing for us is like, who gives out all the presents at the Christmas tree? Oh. So like, so like Torb's rolls in and goes, oh, guys, I'll give them out. I'll just hand them out.

I would probably like, yeah, fucking burst into flame. Yeah. So but my mum always did that and she did it in a specific order and she did it like this perfect way. And so that for me is one of those things where I actually always do it because I can do it the exact same way that she did. And I know my sister really appreciates that. Because you do it in this way. Because I do it the same way that mum did. But like I've been at Christmas at other people's houses and I don't like it at all. Do you know that some people,

some people hand out all the presents to each person and then you're unwrapping just willy-nilly. How do you do it? So my mum, she used to, so the first present that everybody got was a pair of knickers. Yep. Got a fresh pair for New Year. So everybody, like mum, dad, all of us kids, and then when everybody got boyfriends and girlfriends and stuff, everybody got a pair of knickers.

Great. Is that a bit awkward when there's boyfriends and girlfriends? No, it was just like, oh, mom's gonna do that. That's so cute. And we all open them at the same time. Yeah. Oh, we're all getting knickers.

You know, it's like classic. And then the next round would be like everybody getting a small present, but like she would do, she would go like, oh, Ryan, Oh, Ryan, this one's from mom and dad. Great. And then everybody would watch it. And then everyone watched it goes, Oh, Ryan, what'd you get? And you go, Oh, new Lego. And we go, fuck yeah. From eight to 80. And then like, as that's kind of happening, mom's handed the next one off. So you're not really, there's never any silence where no one's got a gift,

but there's no overlap of the unwrap. I fucking hate, I'm with Liz on this because they need to have their moment. You want your moment, but you're also like, when you do the big willy-nilly everyone's opening at the same time. So I go, oh, oh, Ryan, oh, that one was from us. So like-

Did you like it? And they go, oh, sorry, I'm opening it like- And I go, oh, make sure you put it straight in the fridge. You know, you can't do the like present admin or fucking whatever. What fucking presents is it? Oh, I don't know. But like, do you know what I mean?

I bought you a bowl of cream. For the scones. For the scones. Yeah, so I've got scones on the brain. Anyway, but you know what I mean? Yeah, I agree. So she was just really, really good at that. I agree.

So imagine some ring in from New Zealand came in and said, I'll hand out the fucking presents and open them all at the end together. The in-law is what is really sending me about it. Yeah, okay. Now my cousin Bonnie, to bring everyone up to speed. She's the best. Well, not the best because when Bonnie was two

and I was four, we had a bath together and she pooed. My first code brown. She shitted in the bath. She did in the bath. Hang on, how old were you before she was two? About that, oh, whatever. Is she older than, how old is she? Today is her birthday, same as Charles,

and she's 35 today. Oh, hot. And I'm 37, so yeah, it would have been about that. Yeah. Don't say hot because she shat in the bath. Also, when she borrowed my sequin jacket, I didn't say it for four years. And that Nike jumper, didn't get that back for ages.

Oh, fucking RIP. Yeah. But she's great. She's a tarpa. The other day we watched the video together and she brought a bag full of half-eaten stuff for a platter. She goes, we opened this last night and there's still heaps left so we brought it over. It was like, oh, jeez. Like, I just love her. She's so quirky. Thanks, Bon.

Yeah. Oh, you bought it from Aldi. Like you could have just gone and got another Cam and Bean. Know what I'm saying? Now she's a tarp art. She loves the show. She does. And she was like, oh, can I be the prover?

And I was like, no, buy a Patreon you cheap bitch. Yeah. But I said we would call her. But why I want to call her is we need to get an impartial review of the scones. Oh, hang on. So a review of the scones, not just a review of this going into the group chat. No, no, no. The scones have happened. Yeah. Oh, sorry. I'm thinking that we're calling Bonnie to be like, did you think that was a bit much from Bridge? Well, we'll, we'll ask that as well. OK, OK. But.

Get that slide on the phone. OK. Lover. Hello, hello. Hi, Bonnie. Hi, Bonnie. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

Thank you. Thank you. Now, Bonnie, the reason I call is I've got two questions. First of all, since our grandpa, Eric, is no longer with us, did you think it was a bold move for Bridget to just choose to make the scones on behalf of the family? Bold, but I think she's nailed it. I think she's done very well.

Really? Because we're calling to like she's nailed it. I think she's done very well Really so cuz I'm just aware calling to can like she's obviously she do a good job Yeah So good, so I had one it was my breakfast actually because I just I was on night shift Yeah, and I was like oh, what is the first thing? I want to eat when I wake up scones jam and cream perfect It's the same perfect, and then I took two for the road and I also had one for breakfast this morning Oh, yeah, so put a little candle in it for the road. And I also had one for breakfast this morning. Ah, yeah. So.

Put a little candle in it for your birthday. Yeah. Bonnie's doing well. Would you guys fire to say that Bridget is the new scone queen of the family? Mmm. Oh, I didn't like him that much. Didn't like him that much. But yes, I'll give her the crown.

I'll give her the crown. I'll give her the crown. What about Georgia? You beautiful cousin. Look, I think everyone makes them very differently though. Did Bridget do the lemonade or whatever you're supposed to put in them? We will not divulge any secrets on the podcast. Jesus Christ, mate. We're in a public forum here. All right, secret recipe. Yeah, okay.

I also didn't know that, but I've also- That is a way that you can make them. Is it? Okay. And Bridget may or may not have done that. Yeah, I doubt she would have. No, you wouldn't know. You wouldn't know. You didn't help.

All right. Okay. Happy birthday, Bonnie. See ya. Thanks, bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye, bye. Bye. Bye. Jesus Christ. Should we call. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Jesus Christ. Should we call Bridget and ask if you cleaned the kitchen after like you did here? No. I've got a, you'll have to see it. I hope so.

I actually do have a great, you'll have to see here from Ryan. Oh, you're fucking welcome, mate. Yeah. So this is from Ryan Barnes. Ryan sent this through in Patreon. No, that is my name online in a few different forms. Ryan Buns. Oh, I thought you said Ryan Buns.

Someone thinks a lot of theirself. Melbournebears.com. My boyfriend Brandon says Ryan will be graduating from the University of Pittsburgh with his master's degree. Fuck yeah. And has gotten it over the last two years while working full time. Fuckin' hell.

Isn't that amazing? Psycho. And then Ryan said, since he moved across the country for me, I feel like the least I could do is try and get his name set on his favorite podcast. Well, we'll call Hamish and Andy. No, massive congratulations to Brandon.

That's huge. Congratulations Brandon. And it's real start the fuckin' blog energy. It is. And hopefully Joe Rogan reads that out for you, Brandon. And... Cause that's everyone's favourite bonga. Yep. No, that congrats, man.

That's fucking hard. No, you're a dick about it. Weren't you? About the favourite podcast. I'm lashing out because he's done his masters in two and I'm four and a half years into mine and still going. Have you read that quote that's like, not everything's about you?

Oh. Oh. Have you seen that quote that's like, not everything's about you. Have you seen that? I think that Michelle Obama said that. Maybe. But you know what I mean? Like Brandon can have his moment. It's not about how fast or slow you've done your MBA is it. I was using a personal experience

to personalize his achievement and just give it scope to how well he's done. How many times did you say personal just then? So it's all about you. This is about Brandon. I think we should call Bonnie back. No, but isn't- Getting yelled at and abused for not cleaning by my cousin.

Somehow not the worst part of the last five minutes of my life. Nah, but good job, right? That's so fucking cool. Yep. Now, My Love to See It is from Claudia Jill Rose. Claudia Jill Rose? That's what I said. It's not about you. Sorry, I'm lushing out. Here's a photo of her. She said, my love to see it is eating a Bojangles chicken sandwich

whilst going through the car wash. Hi, Claudia. Now she says Bojangles, if you know, you know. Okay, I don't know. I don't know, but I wanna know. I would love to eat something called Bojangles. Look at, have you seen a happier person? Look at the smile on her face.

In the car while she's eating a chicken sandwich. Also, wouldn't you just be so happy all the time if your name was Claudia? What a great fucking name. That's a hot name. I always love the name Claudia because it was one of the babysitter's club girls was Claudia.

And I always thought it was such a hot name. No one else read the babysitter's club. Okay, cool. We're actually talking about Claudia. It's not about you. Yeah, so true. Yeah, so true. Yeah, so true. So true.

So true. I love to see that. We need to find out what Bojangles is. Bojangles Chicken. So there's a place in Melbourne that's got the, it's not the same though. It's just got the same name, but there's a chain of Bojangles Chicken places.

Can someone let us know if there's one near New York, because I'll eat one on the way to the Webbies. Okay, so this is crazy. In Warnable, one on the way to the Webby's. Okay. So this is crazy. In Warnable, there's a Bojangles Pizza restaurant. No. Bojangles Chicken. Yeah.

I think there's in the US, there's a bunch of them like on the sort of the East Coast. Okay. Locations. Hang on. Just looking. Alabama, Arkansas. I do love my mamba. Hang on, just looking. Alabama, Arkansas. I do love my mom, pa.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. There isn't one in New York, but there's one in New Jersey. Oh, we'll do that. We could go there. Like close to New York, New Jersey, or like deep New Jersey.

Okay, you're really testing me here. Hang on. Oh, there's one in, close to where I am. here, hang on. Oh, there's one in close to Webby. Oh, message Cole. My brother who, he like works remotely and he's just like traveling the whole time. Yeah, I love it.

And he's an accountant in fucking Chicago supposedly. Every time you tell me something, you're like, he's just like jumping on Zoom somewhere else. So when, if we go to the Webbies and let's hope the Knicks keep playing well, guess where Cole will suddenly appear. You know what I'm saying? Yes, yeah.

You know, we were like, do you want to come to the basketball with us? Where are you? And he goes, I'm wherever the fuck I want to be, dude. And then he came to the basketball with us. That's pretty hot and cool though. He's still got that game ball. We need to go fucking get that back.

Yeah, we do. Yeah, I'll make sure there's enough room in our luggage to start. All right, let's tomorrow do normal or art because it's Thursday and my favorite day. Love it. My favorite day too. All right. Love you. Love you. Bye. I don't want to be in a fight. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Aura Frames. And Ryan, do you happen to know maybe someone, not adding anybody, but that maybe takes a million photos of maybe, you know, the cutest little girl in the world and their camera roll is just overflowing

with pictures you don't know what to do with? There is smoke coming out of my phone because of their 10 million photos I have of Mabel struggling to fit in my phone because of their 10 million photos I have of Mabel struggling to fit in my phone. I meant the prettiest little girl ever. I obviously meant my phone. And my coworker, Tony Lodge. Cause filled with the prettiest little girl in the world, my little Frenchie Pippa.

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