Toni and Ryan - Is it too early for nicknames?

Episode Date: October 10, 2021

I have a very pressing and very important question for Ryan - and it's about how close we are. Plus we talk about showering and Squid Game and like... Heaps of other stuff! Love ya! You can check out our Patreon, you can find it at patreon.com/ToniandRyan and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hi, is that Madison? It is. Hi, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you? Hi, I'm good. How are you guys? We're well.

Thank you so much. Sorry we're running a little bit late. Oh, you're fine. So where do we find you on this glorious day? Because with the time zones, are you, is it still Friday night? Where are you? What's the deal? So it is Friday night.

I'm in northern Utah in the United States. Is that like what you would call like mountain country and like the big view? When I think northern Utah, I don't know why, but it feels like beautiful scenery and lots of open land oh it is yeah that was lucky Tony's looking at me like do you know what you're talking about and I've struck gold she's like no it's just cities so how does someone in northern Utah find a podcast from Melbourne, Australia? Well, I guess if you just have really good taste, you find it.

Oh, I like that. Thank you, Madison. Whipped my own hair. Well, we're just about to start recording for this podcast and we wanted to get your approval. Oh, absolutely. And can we also say a big thank you for being part of the Patreon as well? Yeah, thank you so much.

Because it's just started and the amount of people that are supporting us is really, really cool and we just wanted to say a massive thank you as well. Well, thank you guys for doing it. I really like supporting podcasts, so this has been great for me. Oh, thank you. Because we were genuinely a bit scared and we're like, oh, my God, no one's going to do it.

We're going to be so embarrassed. A bit like being picked last for a sports team or something. We thought we'd be sitting there with, like, and Ryan's mum would be the only person. She's just in the back with, like, a pom-pom. Well, she is, but it's glad to know there's a few otherspom. Well, she is, but that does a few others as well. Hi, this is Madison from Utah and I approve this podcast. Hello, friends.

This is Tony and Ryan. Friends. We're friends. This is Tony and Ryan. Friends. We're friends. And you can tell because what's happened today? We're wearing the exact same outfit. How embarrassing for us. I kind of like it, though. It looks like our mum has dressed us as twins.

You know? They're dressing in matching outfits. So what are we wearing? What did you say before? Soft green. It's a soft green. A soft green tee. Yep.

Oh, not the drink. And a black over. So you're wearing a black denim jacket. I've got a black cardi on. And is that something we should be proud of or would we be embarrassed that we're wearing the exact same colours and look? I mean, obviously we're both really fashionable or both really not fashionable.

And let's not decide which one of those we are. You know what? Luckily this podcast is audio only. And hello to everyone on TikTok and Instagram Reels. Coming up, some feedback on last week's episode. There is again, some aggression from the people that are listening. I don't need that in my life. And also some concern because we made a bet with Chicken Nuggets that is getting out of control. We'll get to that soon. I am really worried about that.

I also have a question about nicknames. How soon is too soon? To nickname someone? Yep. Have you been nicknamed? No, I almost nicknamed. Me? Yeah.

But it's all right. Well, I'm glad you didn't. Me too. Okay, maybe I don't want to talk about it then. First up, though, Tony, if you had to choose between guys and girls, who is the cleanest, who is the most hygienic? Girls, who is the cleanest? Who is the most hygienic?

I'm going to speak for everybody here and say instantly most people think girls. However, I have been in many girls' bathrooms over my time. Good point. And they aren't great. And I'm talking bathrooms as in like makeup in the sink and stuff, but I'm also talking like girls' public bathrooms. Have you been to guys' public bathrooms? But have you been to a girl's?

Like that, you just, I think we're all repulsive to be honest. All right. So a lot of discussion in the Tony and Ryan podcast Facebook group, which you can go and join. I love our group. Amanda said, and this is where everyone starts getting a bit cringy in the group and everyone starts doing that, oh, I just assumed what I've always done is what everyone else has always done and there seems to be a lot of discrepancies

when it comes to cleaning ourselves. Yeah. Amanda, I've recently discovered my friend, a grown-ass man, says Amanda, doesn't use soap in the shower because he was told that men don't need to. Sorry? Hmm. That's what she was like. And that's why she came and said, is this a thing?

Because I hope it's not. You know on the label where it says women's soap and men's soap, that actually doesn't mean anything. That's all marketing. Men can use soap. Women can use soap. Our non-binary friends can use soap. It's for everyone.

Becca Graham, I've had a couple of guys tell me they only use soap on the upper part of their bodies because the water washes down so there's no need to wash your legs or feet. That's not true. Do you wash your legs? Yes. How often? Every time I have a shower. Notice I didn't say every day.

How often would you shower? Oh, I shower most, I'm a nighttime showerer. I like to shower before I get into bed. I like to be clean when I get into bed. But if I exercise like in the morning before work, like I'll have a shower in the morning. Emma said, I like to be clean when I get into bed. But if I exercise like in the morning before work, like I'll have a shower in the morning. Emma said, I'm pretty sure my husband went years without using soap. He just washed his hair and let the shampoo run down his whole body. So I saw this TikTok the other day, right, and it's this chick who is like, I'm going to tell you the things that your mum never told you, which is actually quite sweet.

Sweet and probably something a lot of us need. Yeah. And like I guess if people's like mums passed away when they were younger or weren't in their life, it's actually quite a wholesome idea. And she was saying that you should get in the shower, wash yourself, shampoo your hair and then condition your hair. And after the conditioner runs on, like you wash that out, you should wash yourself again because the conditioner can,

like, clog up your pores. Oh. Which I didn't know. My mum never told me that. Isn't it like when you brush your teeth and then you rinse after? You don't just, like, leave the residue. You know that you're not supposed to do that. What?

You're not supposed to rinse your mouth after you brush your teeth. You're supposed to leave the toothpaste in because it's got, like, all the shit in it and the good stuff. I once said that to my mum when I was four or five. She's like, did you rinse? And I was like, no, I'm just leaving it so it'll clean all day. And she's like, that's not a thing. You need to get back into the thing.

That is adorable. I'm just leaving it so it'll clean all day. That's very cute. That was my excuse and I was sticking with it. It was probably because I forgot or just couldn't be bothered. Couldn't be bothered, yeah. That's, yeah, I don't know how I feel about it. But again, that might not be a thing.

Maybe I made that up. Okay, here's where it starts getting interesting. Oh. Not that it wasn't already because I'm already a bit horrified and a bit like questioning everything I've done in my life to this point. That's healthy. That's healthy.

A bloke named Tony comments, I had a friend tell me he never wipes his own arse because if he touches his own butt too much, he might start to like it and that's how you become gay. No way. That was a real comment that's written. And I just want to say to Tony's friend, I'm pretty sure that's not how it works.

Most of my male mates are into other male mates and I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. Most of my male mates are into other male mates, and I'm pretty sure that didn't happen from wiping their own butt. And also, is that implying that every straight man is not a butt wiper? Is not wiping their own butt. No wonder those sporty change rooms smell, and all these straight boys with smelly arses wandering around. But what's the, sorry, but what's he doing instead? Getting someone else to do it or just sitting there with like dags on his bum like a sheep?

Another comment said that you don't need to wipe it because that's what the underwear is for, to catch the remnants. This comment, Fred, really took off in our group. Are you fucking serious? That's what underwear is for? It's not floss. It's not toilet paper. It's to hold your bits together and have a layer of protection

between the pant and the outside world. Also, boys' underwear is generally not that tight on the crack. Well, it's not a thong. No, no, no, no. But, like, most boys that I've ever slept with wear like boxer shorts or like those like tight box, like jockey things, the short ones though, not the like underwear ones. Let me just write something down for next week.

Tony describing men's underwear. Segment next week. What sort of ones? They're like, they look like what the pants that SpongeBob SquarePants wears. He wears pants? No. Yeah, like on the bottom of him, he's got like a little shirt and tie and little shorts. Oh, that's cute for him.

Yeah, but they're like those little shorts. They like cup your butt, but they don't go in your crack. Yeah. So I don't think that the underwear is going to do all that much cleaning or rescuing the bum. Like, I mean, we've all done a poo or a wee. Except my wife. She's never pooed.

We've all done a poo like while we've been like maybe camping or something and haven't quite gotten all of it. It's very itchy. It's not pleasant. It's not nice. No. I once. What do you call that?

I don't know why. Vegemite sandwich. Sorry, I really panicked. I just spat everywhere. Because I've heard someone say once, oh, you've gone the Russian. Do you know what's bloody good? A white Russian? Like milk, Kahlua and vodka.

Think about what we're talking about and think about the consistencies of things you're describing that you consume. Yeah. I mean, you're not wrong, but alsoa and vodka. Think about what we're talking about and think about the consistencies of things you're describing that you consume. Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah. I mean, you're not wrong, but also, you know. I once, when Torbs and I were living in Bunbury, where we've both lived for radio jobs. Showed old.

We, Torbs and I, ran out of gas. Like petrol. Like hot water, gas. Oh, right. Yeah, like in our house. My friend Tim and my friend Marion, they lived together and they were moving house. And I had to ring Tim and say, hey, we've run out of gas.

We need to have showers. Like we've got no hot water. Do you mind if we come around and have a shower? Is it all right if we come around and have a shower? And they're like, well, yeah, but we're moving house. So the house was empty. Oh, no. And I got there and thought, oh, before I have a shower,

I need to do a poo-poo. And so I've just like gone into the toilet, didn't even think about it. Yep. And they'd already moved everything out. Including the toilet paper. Toilet paper. And so I had to do the poo and then waddle through the house. Oh, so the shower and the toilet weren't in the same room?

Not in the same room. Oh, come on, guys. Not even close to each other? Not even close to each other. What was that waddle like? Itchy, which is what I'm saying. Did someone, was there like a conversation on the way or did you just waddle as fast as you could? No, so it was only Torbs and I were there.

Was Torbs like, hey, Tony, not now, not now. Well, I was like, hey, there's our toilet paper, and he was like, you're just going to have to do it. You have to leg it to the bathroom. Yeah, so I legged it to the bathroom. And then I had to clean the poo out in the shower. And my point is that it's itchy. You know the poo's there. You're not like, oh, that's right, there's a bit of poo on my bum. Like,. You know the poo's there.

You're not like, oh, that's right, there's a bit of poo on my bum. Like, you're aware the poo's there. Like you know. You know. So, old mate. Especially what if you'd had, like, you know, maybe a bit of a dodgy tummy? That's just going to keep coming out like a hose. Don't say hose.

You know, if you turn the hose off, it, like, dribbles out. Fucking hell. Sorry. Sorry, mate. I think we can all agree that wiping your butt with toilet paper is a good idea. It's important. If you're fancy enough to have a bidet, congratulations to you

and your lifestyle. I don't like that. Why not? Because I feel like it pushes the poo back in your body. Which angle are you using the bidet at? Well, not straight on, obviously. Well, it sounds like you're sitting on it. But, yeah, it's a bit freaky to me.

But literally I think it's only freaky because we don't have them in Aussie. When I lived in Thailand, they had the little hose. I don't like that either. Why not? It just freaks me out. But you'll never be cleaner. Oh. I don't like that either. Why not? It just freaks me out. But you'll never be cleaner. Oh, yeah. When Torbs and I went to Vietnam, they had the hose and, yes.

Can I just say, though? Yeah. You're thinking about where you're aiming the hose. Think about, like, what happens next. Because some people have, like, hosed them and are, like, back at themselves or at the wall on the back. Yeah, like there's. Splashback.

Pedro in Brazil said at least 1,000 men, this is Brazilian men, 1,000 Brazilian men a year lose their penises due to lack of hygiene. 1,000 a year? 1,000 a year. 1,000 Brazilian weans a year amputated because of hygiene issues. Do you remember this story that went viral a couple of years ago and it was this guy, this English guy on like a sex ed TV show and he was like, oh, I'm just really itchy down there and I don't really know what to do.

And the chick was like, okay, tell me what you do when you get in the shower. He's like, oh, yeah'm just really itchy down there and I don't really know what to do. And the chick was like, okay, tell me what you do when you get in the shower. He's like, oh, yeah, like wash my body, whatever. She's like, and of course you're like pulling your foreskin back and rinsing under the foreskin. Cleaning, yep. And he was like, no. And she was like, what?

And this guy was like 24 years old or something. 20, a quarter of a century he's not been cleaning. He hadn't been pulling his foreskin back and cleaning underneath it. So you can imagine the smegma that had built up over that time. I mean, you're not wrong, but again, smegma is such a. Yeah, sorry. The dick chase, would you prefer? I was scientific.

If I had to choose between those two words, maybe smegma is not that bad. Yeah, exactly. Had like built up and yeah. Become infected and gross. Yeah, exactly. Had like built up and, yeah. Become infected and gross. Yeah, well, it was just like stinky. I think he said that he like hooked up with a few women that had been like, how do you get to the hookup phase?

That is not going in my mouth. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you something for free. Well, someone wrote something. They said, if the soap's not going down there, then neither am I. Wrote someone in the group. Very good. I like that.

Finally, Jade Dillingham, the big deal. Oh, big deal. The big deal's back. She was told by a dermatologist that pits and privates, and that's it, the rest is bad for your skin. Only use soap on your pits and your privates. But see, I've heard the reverse. Like women aren't supposed to use soap

on their poussoirs. The poussoir. The fanny town. The chamber of secrets. How many secrets are you keeping? There's a lot. Well, someone also messaged that they heard the same. Yeah.

Or if you wash too much, it can, like, dry it. It, like, messes up the pH balance. Yeah. I mean, you can get, like, Femm Wash or, like, Vag Blow or something it's called. It's like flowers on there. I'm sure it's not called that. It's definitely not called Vag Blow. I would not buy it.

Like, imagine walking into Coles. There's two products. One is called Femm Wash and one's called Vagblo. I would not buy it. Like imagine walking into Coles, there's two products. One is called Femwash and one's called Vagblo. I'll tell you which one you're picking up. If we called a chemist, can you try and order some Vagblo? Some Vagblo. Can you? Yeah. I mean, we can try.

I'm so awkward for you right now. Why? Speaking. How can I help? Hi there. How are you? Good. How are you going?

Yeah, good. Thank you. Sorry, a little bit of an awkward one. Yeah. I'm after some feminine soap. Right. I'm not sure what the Vag Blow, is that what it's called? Oh, I have no idea, but I'll go into that sort of feminine care section.

Yeah, I think it's called. And see what we have. That would be great. I think Vag something. So did you say it's a soap? Is that what you said? Yeah, the PH Balance soap. Oh, okay. Let's see what I've got.

Thank you. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the one that's got Vag in the name, which is a bit funny, isn't it? I know. It's a bit ironic. Oh, gosh, there's so many things. You wouldn't think there'd be so many things for women, would you? I know, there's only one hole, isn't there? How many washers are there? Yeah, exactly. All these things that they've got, I'm like, I'm just trying to see if there's anything here. That's okay. I actually, I might pop

down a bit later today and have a look myself if that's okay. Yeah, you might want to come down and have a look because there's a few different things to see, I'd say. Okay. Thank you so much for your help. No problems at all. You're welcome. Have a good day. Wish me luck.

You too. Good luck. Bye. I can't believe she wished you luck. There's so many options for only one hole. That was good from you. Well, I just don't think that I can come off the back of that, to be honest, and talk about nicknames.

The Vag Blow. I mean, there's no topping that. But I have a question. So you and I, we're mates. Yep. Oh, a bit of hesitation. No, we are friends. Just friends. Well, that's what it says in the podcast. Yep. Oh, a bit of a situation. No, we are friends. Just friends.

Well, that's what it says in the podcast. Just friends. So. How good of friends are we? How good of friends are we? Yeah. And I feel like one of those things that you broach into quite slowly is maybe a pet name or a nickname. Really?

Or something like that. I'm not a nickname. Really? Or something like that. I'm not a nickname person. They make me very uncomfortable. When people call you by a nickname or if you call other people or both? People calling me by a nickname doesn't really bother me depending on what it is. But when, you know, when someone introduces themselves to you and they've got a nickname, I'm just like.

And they introduce it as their nickname. Yeah. Yeah, nah, that's. Yeah, it's weird, right? It's not funny. And it's even weird for me because my boyfriend, Torbs. Yeah. Obviously we call him Torbs.

It's for the anonymity. He likes to be secret. Oh, yeah, because everyone's lining up at the front of your place to get a glimpse of the great man. Exactly right. But I would never call him Torbs in private. Right. Like I only ever call him Alex.

Okay. Which is his real name. Because my name's Ryan John Dunn. Yes. And for the first 20 years of my life, I was like exclusively called Dunny. Yeah. Like a lot of my friends wouldn't know me as Ryan. Which is so weird, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I would never introduce myself as Dunny because I would feel weird about that. Yeah. And so when I introduce Torbs to people now, I'm like, oh, this is my boyfriend Torbs because that's how he is known like on the pod or like throughout our friends because there was already another Alex, which is why he was given a nickname in the first place. He was given a nickname when I worked in radio because there was already an Alex on the team. Yeah.

radio because there was already an Alex on the team. So the other day via text, there was a group chat between you, me and our manager. He has a name. Brad. Great guy. So lovely. One of my good friends. Been friends for a very long time.

So he's your good friend, but I'm just your friend. You're a good friend. No, just before you just said friends. Anyway, we were talking about- A good friend is a type of friend. We were in a group chat and we were setting up a meeting with somebody and you two were kind of going backwards and forwards and I just kind of jumped in and I typed, don't mind what time it is. Let me know if you need me, Rye. Yeah. And I almost hit send.

Just because I was like quickly typing it. It was like stream of consciousness. Just a R-Y? R-Y. Capital R. Do you call me that? I've never called it out in my life. Have you called me that to yourself?

Nope. So how was that even in your cell phone? No, no, no. I was just like, it was just really quick. I was like, oh, let me know what you need, Rye. I'll just like be there. Ooh. How did that feel when you said it? Um, it felt weird saying quick. I was like, oh, let me know what you need, Rye. I'll just be there. Ooh, how did that feel when you said it? It felt weird saying it out loud just then, but it kind of felt good.

Ooh. I kind of liked it, but I didn't do it. I didn't do it. Because you were scared of pushback? Well, because I thought. Scared how I'd react? You're not a nickname person? No, and also because it was a group chat.

That's not a good time to introduce a nickname. Maybe it is because you've got public around so there's no... You can't cause a scene. It's like asking your mum for something in public because you know she won't yell at you. Well, that's why you dump a girl in a restaurant. Is that why you answered your mum's call in front of me before because you knew she wouldn't yell at you, but she did anyway? Yeah.

I haven't called mum back in a while. I was like, I'm with Tony, and she's like, I don't care. Why don't you call me back? You don't even know I messaged you. You don't yell at you, but she did anyway. Yeah. I haven't called mum back in a while. I was like, I'm with Tony. And she's like, I don't care. Why don't you call me back? You don't even know my name. How are you guys going to eat all those nuggets? Anyway. That's actually what she said.

So I didn't commit to the nickname because I thought that maybe that was too far, especially in front of somebody else. And Brad and you have known each other for a long time. So what if I said Ryan? Brad's like, who the fuck is that? Are you bringing this up now on the podcast? So that you won't cause a scene. Because you know that our friends are listening.

And are you pitching that you call me that? Well, I just thought I would ask, are we there yet? So your wife, Bridget, calls me Tones. Does she? Yeah. Or Tone. How do you feel about that? It doesn't calls me Tones. Does she? Yeah, or Tone. How do you feel about that? It doesn't bother me at all.

But your wife Bridget, right, so you call her Bridge. I don't call her that because I don't know how to spell it. Bridge. It looks like Brig. Yeah, because she is B-R-I-G-E-T-T-E. No. I-T-T-E. Yeah, it's the French spelling apparently for some reason because her family is not French at all.

Yeah, very Kiwi. Yeah. But because via text Brig looks so weird, so I don't call her that. Yeah. I think I call her Bridge. Bridge will sometimes call me Rye. Oh, okay.

Rosie, who I used to work with, used to give me a Rye Rye. Oh, no, I'm not a Rye Rye. I've copped a few rye dogs in my time. Oh, I don't mind rye dog, but I wouldn't say that to you. And LJ, who works here at Kiss, calls me Raz. Since day one, I was like, nice to meet you. Because we all met at the same day because we did summer breakfast together. I was like, hi, I'm Ryan.

She's like, nice to meet you, Raz. And for the first few days, I was like, does she know my name? And maybe it's her accent. And then I've realised, no. And now every day I'll see her. G'day, LJ. G'day, Raz it's her accent. Yeah. And then I've realised, no, and now every day I'll see her. G'day, Algie. G'day, Raz. Yeah, right.

Yeah. So obviously I feel like maybe you're going around, skirting around my question about whether it's too soon. Are you, Tony Lodge, asking to call me by a nickname. Yes. Any nickname or is Rye? I think I'm going to stick with Rye. Okay.

This feels very serious. Only if I can call you Hot Stuff, cheeky babe. You already do. Hi, it's Madison from Utah and you are listening to Tony and Ryan. So last week we announced that we are starting a Patreon. It's a platform where people can support creators like us and we didn't know if anyone was going to join up, so we stupidly said for every one person that joins the Patreon, we will eat one nugget in a sitting.

So if there's five people that join us. Five nuggets. A thousand people. A thousand nuggets. And we were kind of joking about that because it's basically where for a couple of dollars a month you can support us. There's different levels of support you can give. And we just wanted to keep doing this podcast and the fact that people can make that happen

and cover some of the costs and how we have to pay for the videos and stuff. And we're like, this is great. So first of all, I'd just like to say a shout out to a few champion tarpers. Benji Brown, thank you so much for your support. Hi, Benji, thank you. Rodney Stickles Palmer, thank you, Rodney. Talia Reyes, Claire Vale, Annika, who I believe we spoke to a few weeks ago. Thank you so much.

I actually followed Annika on Instagram. You follow everyone on Instagram. But she goes, hey, why did you follow me? I was like, well, you follow me. Oh. Sorry. Rachel Evans, thank you to Rachel. Sean Van Gorder, Heather Shelley, Kimberly Majors, Thomas Arnand.

He's one of my favourite, the big Tom. Can I read one? Oh, is that all of them? No. Oh. There's too many. Okay. How many in a day?

We can do some more tomorrow. We'll spread them out. We'll do some more tomorrow. So if you've missed out, don't worry, it's coming tomorrow. Reese Wooten will get more mentions. Reese Wooten. Reese Wooten. Reese with a spoon.

Now, Tony, your concerns about the Nuggets. About the Nuggets. So, okay, I would just like to flag something straight off the bat. I had a couple of comments on TikTok of people being like, is it the amount of Nuggets each or as a team? It is as a team. What are we up to at the time of recording? I can give you an exact, just let me refresh the page

in case we've gotten another one. Another, oh, yep, there has been another one. 241 patrons. As a team. As a team. There is not going to be 482 nuggets consumed. So how many is that each so far? 120 each.

Holy fuck. Yeah. 120. Nuggets each. And we're cutting this off at the end of October, so you've still got a few more weeks to join our Patreon. Can we bring the deadline forward? Because speaking of deadline, that's going to be us.

Like, we can't eat that many nuggets. I want to put on the record that Toni Lodge is willing to go against her word. No. You know what? She wants to change the rules after she started the game. No, no, no, no. You'd be like those cheaters in Squid Game that try to manipulate the rules

to suit themselves like the bully. Don't. Spoiler, I haven't watched it yet. I'm watching it tonight with my boyfriend, Torbs. We're making homemade pizzas. If you're looking for a cute night, Squid Game is not going to get it done. Oh, really? Yeah.

And you probably won't sleep for a while. But, I mean, who is these days? Am I right? Oh, really? Yeah. And you probably won't sleep for a while. But, I mean, who is these days? Am I right? So, actually, also, this is just a funny anecdote.

But every time. I'll decide if it was a funny anecdote. Okay, great. Every time someone signs up to our Patreon, we get an email notification. And every time I get an email, Torbs goes, nugget! So he just screams it out. So, The Look.

The Look. The Look. Oh, Roxette. You know the band Roxette? She's got the look. She's got the look. She's got the look. She's got the look.

My mum loves Roxette. I've actually never heard that song before. What the fuck? She's got the luck. And when I used to work in the deli, I used to always go, she's got the chuck, she's got the chuck, when I was taking the hot chickens out of the oven. I actually used to sing over the PA at Coles all the time.

There's videos of it online. I'll share one in the group. Oh, that's incredible. Can we do like a... It was like, hey, hey, chicken, hot, tasty. I want to know how much you are. $8, $8. That's right, $8 hot chickens.

And did the customers appreciate this or...? Well, I thought so. And one of the videos went va-va-va viral, like 1,000 views, which was a lot back then. I was going to say, if you did this as a flight attendant, it would be one of those viral, you know how every year there's like, oh, viral flight attendant dances during the, you know, exit warnings and stuff.

You would be that person. Yeah, I would. Maybe I should start doing that. We should. Maybe we should do a remix of You've Got The Look and include your chook line. The chook, yeah. Yeah.

We can. Okay, that's a great idea. I'll let you. Well, obviously it's my idea. Yeah. I'm just trying to support you. Well, I'm just letting you know, Okay, that's a great idea. I'll let you. Well, obviously it's my idea. Yeah. I'm just trying to support you. Well, I'm just letting you know, mate, it's actually my idea. I'm just letting you know that I support your ideas.

Some more feedback this week. Okay, great. Dimitri. Hola. Dimitri. Sorry, I've never said hola in my life. And I believe it's Dimitri. Dimitri?

Dimitri. Dimity. Well, which one is it? It's Dimity. You're saying three different names. I was listening to the adult fiction reader section of the podcast today where, Tony, you were reading it was adult fiction written by men about women's bodies and it came very clear that none

of these male authors had ever hooked up with a girl before. And it was my audition to see if maybe I could be a sexy audiobook reader. I was turned on. Thank you. And to use a joke by Tony Lodge, it was six to midnight right over here. I hit the bottom of the desk. Oh. On the way through.

Hit my bottom. Sorry. Dimity, Dimitano. I was listening to the adult fiction reader section of the podcast In The Shower. Sexy. I like that. Well, a lot of people listen to podcasts in the shower.

Do they? You get up in the morning. Oh, pop it on. Yeah, I guess so. In the spare room next to our bathroom, my partner's dad was resting in bed. Resting. I bet you when he heard the audio book,

he wasn't resting anymore. Well, something of his wasn't resting, because he definitely heard all of Tony's adult fiction reading, and I don't think he hated it. Oh! And because I was listening to it in the shower, he thinks I'm into it as well. Oh, no.

My partner's dad and I have not made eye contact since I left the bathroom. You're welcome. I love breaking up families. Last week you used the word cul-de-sac. Yes. Oh, my God, yeah.

Did people say they know what I was talking about? Yeah, and I was like, I'm sure there's another name for it. And Olivia Williams says it's a court. That. And Olivia Williams says, it's a court. That's what it's called. It's a court. It's no fancy French cul-de-sac. It's just called a court. Jade Easton, it's a court.

You guys are idiots. It was so frustrating to listen to. I don't think I've ever heard court. Yeah, some streets are like Smith Court. Yeah, like Ding Dong Court. Yeah, but not all courts are dead ends. Aren't they? No. No. Show me a court with two ends. I, like Ding Dong Court. Yeah, but not all courts are dead ends. Aren't they? No.

No. Show me a court with two ends, I'll show you a liar. That was really sexy how quickly you just said that. Thank you. Is every court a dead end? Oh, no. Show me one. No, it's saying, saying like that it's not.

Who is? Google. And you trust the government and Google? Yeah, of course I do. I've been vaxxed. A dead end, also known as a cul-de-sac for the French bag bottom, no through road or no exit road, the term dead end is understood in all varieties of English

because if you said dead end, you'd know what that was. Yeah. But you probably wouldn't think that that was a cul-de-sac. You'd think it was just a no through road. Or a dead end, yeah. Yeah. So I don't think that all courts are, I'm just trying to think. If you live in a court.

Yeah, actually that's easier. If you live in a court. Yeah, actually that's easier. If you live in a court that isn't a dead end, you know what we should do. Okay, I've got it. We're going to post a poll in the Facebook group, Tony and Ryan Podcast is what it's called. Yep, T-A-R-P, TARP. TARP. TARP up.

Go to our Facebook group. We're going to post a poll. Do you live in a court? Is it a dead end? Is it not a dead end? And we'll see who's laughing then. We're hitting some hard topics this week though. Yep, sorry.

Well, last week after we talked about things you can say in the hospital and the bedroom, I said imagine, I think you said, I'm going to need a second opinion. And I said imagine being in the hospital with your arsehole open and then like eight interns walking. I got a message from Jason on Instagram. Hi, Jason. Listening to the podcast today when you said,

imagine that happening about the doctor needing a second opinion. Went in a few years ago to have some surgery on my arsehole. It was in the little room. The doctor walked in with eight interns to have a look at my arsehole. And all of the interns not only had to have a look but they also had to practice their bedside manner so all of them walked in and said hi i'm dr smith it's so lovely to meet you how are you feeling so every single intern shook his hand and then opened the tent up to have a look at his arsehole sorry about that, Jason. Hope your arsehole's better now. Yeah, hashtag pray for Jason's arsehole.

Sarah, well, you know how last week I was saying when I was in hospital I was used as an exam for psychology students? Yes, yeah. So Sarah has a similar story to... She was one of the people that you had to tell. No. Who was the person before again? Jason.

Sarah has a story similar to Jason's arsehole. Yeah. She said she was getting a pap smear and she was up on the stirrups. Is that what you call it? Yeah, your legs are in the air. And she said. God, I wonder if you can buy them for home. She said that she had to.

Why would you need that for home? It was like a sex joke. It was just funny. Sorry. Where would you put it in your house? I don't know because if you've got like a double or queen bed, your legs don't reach all the way around. So I don't even know where you would put them.

Imagine your legs. I'm trying not to imagine. You're telling me to imagine. I'm trying so hard not to imagine. Sorry. But go on. No, it's fine. Use your imagination in the shower. Are we fighting? No, not anymore. I feel there's tension. No, there's no tension.

Sexual tension. Sarah was in the stirrups. She was on the full spread and the nurse asked if it was okay for the student nurses to watch. She said, sure. Everyone saw everything. And later that night, she bumped into the student nurse at a nightclub. Oh, my God.

See, the thing is, right, that meeting them at the nightclub, you've probably had, you know, a bear for two. So you're like, oh, my God, this is Natalie. She saw my giant earlier. And it's fine. But when you're in the cold, harsh light of day, it's not fine. It's not fine at all. I've got some more apologies to make.

Last week I apologised for my stance on Kath and Kim and not understanding it. Which we all appreciate, the Kath and Kim community. Actually, if you really like Kath and Kim, there is a fantastic Facebook group called Da Catherin Kim Appreciation Society. It's very good. So Chloe May is upset about my stance on TVs, smart TVs specifically.

Yeah, I'm actually really glad that people were up in arms about this. So I was on my high horse being like, oh, Tony's got a smart TV. She must be so rich. Two. Chloe said two smart TVGs. Legit. Who doesn't have a smart TV? My kids's got a smart TV. She must be so rich. Two. Chloe said two smart TVGs. Legit. Who doesn't have a smart TV? My kids have their own smart TV.

My kid's smart TV has a smart TV. Get with the times, Ryan. Josh Rogers. Oh, apparently I'm rich because I've got a smart TV. Well, technically my wife got it for $100 during the Black Fridays. It doesn't make me rich to have $100 TV. And Kayla Waldron. Ryan, I cannot believe you don't have a smart TV.

Thank you, Kayla. They've been around since 2007. No millennials could function without one minimum, multiple streaming services under one control. Yeah, so all your apps are on there. You scroll through your apps and pop it straight in. It's very good. So I'm hearing.

Maybe we could crowdfund you a smart TV. You don't need it, mate. You're good for it. Well, obviously I'm not because I don't have a smart TV. Priorities. Priorities. Final question comes from Eden Garcia. Hi, Eden.

I wonder how the conversation went between Tony and Ryan as to whether the show was going to be called Tony and Ryan or Ryan and Tony. Okay, I've actually seen a couple of comments like, why is Tony's name first? Because I think Ryan and sounds stupid. Ryan and. Because it's like Ryan and Tony.

So it's like Ryan and Tony. You'd almost take out the's like Ryan and Tony. Yeah. So it's like Ryan and Tony. You'd almost take out the N. Tony and Ryan. Ryan and Tony. It's just like I've said, like R-Y-A-N-N-N-N, Tony. Yeah, Ryan and Tony. Is that why? Should we change it?

Seems like you've got a problem with it, mate, that my name's first. You're afraid of powerful women? Is that? I am terrified. Is that the case? As are all men. They should be. They should be.

We're coming up. No, what? No, you've got a problem with it or? No, I'm just asking the question and I actually don't. Like I can't even recall us even actually having a conversation. We didn't even have a conversation about it. I reckon I just said it once and that was it. Yeah, I feel like people think we sat down and went,

whose name's going to be first? Okay, let's start bidding. Yeah, like it wasn't like that. And also it doesn't mean anything. It does. It means everything. No, it doesn't. It definitely doesn't.

I'll tell you what is fascinating though. How many people have asked you about it? Like a couple of comments maybe? Oh, yeah, I've seen a few comments about it and I actually had a few messages on Instagram like, haha, you're so funny. Ryan's recommendations are shit. I can see why it's Tony and Ryan, not Ryan and Tony kind of thing.

And I replied and went, thank you so much. Please comment on the Facebook group. Would it be possible? Yep. No. Somewhere on the internet for there to be a conversation about this podcast without me copping slander from a bad recommendation?

Yeah. And the funny thing is you actually. I recommend you shut the fuck up. That's what I recommend. You want my recommendation? That's it. I've got a fascinating point though. Do you – sorry, have I –

Well, shit. Un-shut the fuck up. Okay, great. Yep. What I was going to say is it's not a big deal. It doesn't mean anything. We love each other. If anything, we wish it could be Trini. So it was both our names at the same time.

Yeah, Trini and... No, just Trini. Oh, it was going to be Trini and just like blank because none of us would be second. Trini sounds like something you'd describe your female bits as. Oh, I've got a bit of a Trini. Oh, yeah. Like a dry fanny. Put that in me, Trini. Oh, yeah. Here's the thing.

Yes. Not to get on my feminist high horse. If it was Ryan and Tony, do you reckon anyone would have asked why it was that way around? Thank you. Good point. It's true. It is so true. It is true.

Everyone would be like, oh, of course it is. Yeah, of course that's what it is. And it's not. Thank you. Who said that? That was from Ryan John. Oh, did you actually post that? No, that's what I'm saying.

Oh, I thought it was a comment. No. Oh, right. Thanks. The nickname does not work. The debut of the nickname. The debut of the nickname in that moment. Oh, God.

I regret everything. Thanks for listening to Ryan and Tony. Or Ryan Tony. The new name is Ryan and Tony and Rye. Ooh, actually, I've got a specific you love to see. That really scared me. It's a squid game. Oh, is this from Squid Game?

I think so. This is really spooky. I don't like it. I thought you were going to watch it and have a romantic night with Torbs tonight. Does this sound like romantic music? This sounds like I'm about to have an exorcism. That's what the show's about. Oh, that's very unsettling.

It's not the right mood for you to love to see it, and I don't want to give any spoilers because it's one of those twists and turns. I don't want to give anything away. Yeah, don't say anything. But what I will say is that the person who made it, like the writer and creator and director, he wrote it about 10 years ago and he himself was a struggling artist

and, you know, the arts industry, you don't just like finish uni and get a job. And all of a sudden you're huge. Yeah. And so he's gone from struggling creator and helped all these Korean people and cast them and now it's the number one streaming show in the world. So for someone to go from nothing to the most watched TV show and talked about in the world, that is something you love to see.

You do love to see that. I'm like, good on you. You've actually made something great that's creating conversation, creating work, great for Korean cinema in general. Yeah. And he's just a guy who was down on his luck, struggling. And a lot of the movie is about, like, the class system of Korea. You know, there's rich and there's poor and stuff.

And he was, the idea came from him being from, like, a poor family. Wow. Oh, I really do want to watch that tonight. Yeah, me too. It is great. It is great. But, again, I don't want to, I'd love to chat with you after. Yeah, we can think about it next week.

I'll get through it this week. Well, I feel a bit bad because My love to see it is also TV based. But if you're looking for something that is very easy to watch and quite happy-go-lucky, have you watched Ted Lasso? No, but I keep hearing it's excellent. It's really good. So the final episode came out, yes, as we're recording this, the final episode for Season 2 came out yesterday.

We'd never watched it before. We popped it on and it was phenomenal. We watched the whole thing this week. Really? And it's really, really good. It's really easy to watch. And, yeah, it was really like a lot of people have said about this podcast, it's great that we don't talk about COVID and it's, you know,

like easy to listen to. And it was kind of like that in TV form. They didn't talk about COVID. It was really easy and, like, made you feel really good. I cried a lot. I've heard it's, like, heartwarming. Would you say it's heartwarming? Yeah, yeah.

You know what would be heartwarming? Putting your bloody heart in the microwave. Sorry. Tony, is it on Apple TV? Yes, it is. Do I need a smart TV to watch that? Well, I mean, yeah, I guess. Can I borrow your Apple login or do I need the TV?

No, you can use my login. Oh, you'll love to see that, folks. Of course. What's the code? I don't know. I can send it to you. You know. No, I actually don't.

I get Apple TV for free. How? Because I bought this computer and you get like 12 months for free and then I bought Torbs of PS5 and you get... Are you for his birthday or just for funsies? No, I just bought it. A total... Because... Aren't they impossible to get? Do we have time? No, I just bought it. A Tony. Because, well...

Aren't they impossible to get? Do we have time? Well, I actually pre-ordered it when they first announced them and the pre-orders opened. I bought it straight away and paid for it and he got it the day they came out. Does that mean you paid full price? Yeah, of course.

How much? I actually can't remember. Maybe like... Oh, of course. How much? I actually can't remember. Maybe like, oh, fuck off. I think maybe like $800 or something. For a PlayStation? I think it was about $800. Whoa. You are doing all right.

Well, mate. Which smart TV is it connected to? The bigger one. Must be nice. I mean, on the black market now, they're selling for $1,500. I didn't pay that much for it. We can make a profit there. Yeah, I'll sell it on.

I don't know how to feel about that. All right, we will chat to you tomorrow. Tomorrow's episode, things you can say in the bedroom and also in a Zoom meeting. And we get to talk about Bride Wars. It's going to be excellent. So if you haven't watched it yet, watch it tonight so that you can listen to this tomorrow. You've got 24 hours to watch Bride Wars. It's going to be excellent. So if you haven't watched it yet, watch it tonight so that you can listen to this tomorrow.

You've got 24 hours to watch Bride Wars. It's on Netflix. Love that for you. Wait, love to see it. I fucked up the thing. Love you. Bye.