Toni and Ryan - Is Toni Calm In A Crisis?

Episode Date: March 17, 2024

What did you think you'd have to be VERY prepared for as an adult when you were a kid? PLUS a verrrrry helpful Toni. Love ya!!! xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. I'm the vice captain of the ship. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. It's my pleasure to be here on board with you tonight. We're calling Kate. Kate is in Melbourne and is an OG. Kate is an OG. We've met Kate several times. Kate followed me to the eyebrow place the other day. Like in a stalkerish way? She posted in the Facebook group and was like, just saw Tony online on the street. Right. I wasn't like, I was following her down the road. Good morning.

This is Kate speaking. Hello, Kate. This is Tony and Ryan. And if you don't talk to us right now and approve our podcast, we will hang up. Yeah. Well, okay. I guess I'm being bullied into approving your podcast.

Correct. Yes. Well, we're actually just talking about how you've previously been stalking Tony down the street into an eyebrow place. Is that true or false? Can you confirm or deny? Look, I can't help that if Tony gets in my way on the way to me driving around.

Excuse me. And Tony can't help having perfect eyebrows. Yeah, see, you've saved it. You've come back around there, Kate. Yeah, I'll give you that. See, Kate, you've saved it. You've come back around there, Kate. Yeah, I'll give you that. See, Kate, that's what I do. When I've, like, stepped in, I go, I'll just sneak a compliment in here and just bring myself back.

Yeah, you've dug yourself back out. You're good at flipping it in, aren't you, Ryan? Flipping it in. Just flipping it in. You both look great today. Kate, don't. We're spicy. Oh, jeez.

Oh, my goodness. Pour some cold water on it. Yeah, how? Will you approve today's episode? Wet for life, of course. And every episode, therefore. Yay! Hi, it's Kate from Preston, and I approve this podcast. Welcome to a brand new week. Welcome to the show. Coming up today, Tony said, I want to

talk about, are you good in a crisis? And that makes me think, is everything okay? Yeah. I think to ask that question, there's been a crisis. You know what I mean? How was your weekend, mate? We'll, we'll get to it. We'll get to it? All right. Yeah, but it does ask a larger question that I think we all need to be a bit more self-aware. Okay.

Yeah. Now, if you're driving a car, don't close. Yeah, well done. Must be nice. Lovely. Don't close your eyes. But if you're in a position to close your eyes, I'll just have a ponder for a moment.

I want you to have a think about when you were a child and we're all influenced by the world around us. You know how your parents tell you things and you kind of go, oh, yeah, when I grow up, you know, thanks for telling me all about that, Mum. And teachers tell us things and you kind of make assumptions from TVs, shows and movies and books about what the rest of our life is going to be like. And lots of this helps us know about the world around us

and we grow up learning right from wrong and good from bad and use this information to take care of ourselves. But some of this stuff's complete bullshit and it's time someone called it out. I was really meditative until then. You could do that. That really took me to another place. Sorry.

Should I get a job at Mindspace? Headspace? What's the name? Mindset Health. Where I worked? No, the app. Oh, Headspace. You said Mindspace.

That's Mindset Health. That's where I worked. That's where I got them confused. Do you think I could do that? Yeah, I think, yeah, that was, I was literally in a trance. Sorry. But some of the stuff we're told is complete bullshit and it needs to be called the fuck out.

No, see, now it just sounds like you're doing airline safety video. They're close, so I understand. How often as a child via TV and movies were we taught about the dangers of quicksand and how often has that danger presented itself in real life yeah yeah never but do you think as an eight-year-old after consuming some tv and videos you're like oh that'll be a thing I'll have to contend with. Yeah. Like I'll spend a lot of time dealing with that. Yeah. Yep. And especially if you watch like Indiana Jones. Do I get a rope and someone can pull me out?

Yeah. Do I always have to be prepared? Yeah. Yeah. Complete bullshit. And I would like everyone in today's episode thread to say, here's a thing I was warned about as a child and probably didn't need to be. As a child, I don't know if this is the TV shows and movies I watched,

but it was implied that I would probably like spend a lot of my life at sea. Oh, say it on three. One, two, three. Bermuda Triangle. I thought a large. Literally thought that I'd be walking through the coals and I would get sucked in. That would be it.

I actually could not be more. This has really kept me up at night. Yeah. And it turns out, nah, you don't need to know. Why did I spend so much of my childhood thinking when I'm an adult, I'm going to have to spend time and energy actively avoiding the Bermuda Triangle. I've got to have my wits about me at all times. Yeah.

Yes. I could turn the islet coals and bang. There it is. Triangle of Bermuda. There it is. What even is it? Drowning sea saltwater. What even is it?

What is it? Do you know what I'm saying? What is it? I don't think it's anything. It of Bermuda. There it is. Drowning sea saltwater. What even is it? What is it? Do you know what I'm saying? What is it? I don't think it's anything. It's not a thing. But why did I think that that was just going to affect me? And you know what else I thought that was going to just be on the corner of every street that I turned down?

Yeah. Someone trying to sell me drugs. Strangers get a bad rap. Like I'm not saying like everyone's all good but like I do. A lot are. A lot are good. Yeah. I've been taught and this probably explains a lot about me

to just expect the worst from all situations and all people. Doesn't it? I mean, yeah. I don't want to get too deep and philosophical and psychological, but there are a lot of times where I'll be like, hey, Tony, and you're like, oh, what did I do? I just expect that the worst is always coming. And I go, nothing.

Did you want a coffee? And you're like, I'm sorry. And I'm like, oh, what did I do? Like, what are you trying to get from me or whatever? Yeah, like people always are trying to out to get you. Yeah, and I always think about strangers as well. I'm like, oh, hang on. Like, are you trying to get from me or whatever. Yeah, like people always are trying to out to get you. Yeah, and I always think about strangers as well. I'm like, oh, hang on, like are you trying to? And it's like, well, no, because the same way that when I'm walking

down the street I'm not trying to steal someone's handbag or sell them drugs. Most of the time. Sometimes. But yeah, strangers get a bad rap. When you're younger, like strangers are bad, strangers are bad, all drugs and shit. And they are.

Like you need to have your wits about you. But I just thought that I would be faced every day with someone that was trying to kidnap me or sell me drugs. Yeah. But not even sell you drugs. Turns out you seek out the people who are going to sell you drugs. You have to go find the drugs. It's actually really difficult.

We spend a lot of time in big cities trying to find drugs. Trying to find drugs. I'm like, I can't believe I'm here in Chicago and I can't get a buzz on. When I thought I was going to turn to my left and go, okay, I just turned to my right. That's why I couldn't find them. Oh, but they drive on the other side in Chicago. Oh, it's the time difference.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lava. Oh, every day you just think that the fucking earth's going to crack open and it's going to spray out. Never seen it. Floor, rarely made of it. Never seen it. This is, I think, 100% of my life, never seen lava.

Is it real? Tell me that. Pirates also? Like I thought pirates were going to be. They're real though. No, but you don't see them because they're in the Bermuda Triangle. If you stay away from both, you're safe. Stay on land.

Stay away from both, you're safe. Stay on land. Let's never go to the ocean, yeah. My brother Cooper went on his honeymoon off the coast of Somalia. Yeah. Which sounds rough until you say it's like the Seychelles. Oh, yeah. See, everyone's just done the same thing. Yeah, but apparently out there, like, don't swim too far from the port

because, like, there's pirates out there. And I went, and they're like, nah, like. What do they steal your treasure? What do actual pirates do? They steal boats. Oh, really? Yeah. Like all the shipping and tangents.

I just thought it was, like, funny. Do you think someone stealing your boat's funny? I don't have a boat, so I can't relate, but I imagine I wouldn't be happy about it. Yeah. I guess I've never really thought about how fucked that would be. They just look like they have so much fun. Below deck and the scurvy and the meat and the salted meats.

No, I mean like a cartoon pirate. Yeah, they're just drinking and throwing shit around. Yeah, they've got those little like bandanas on, little pirate friends. They seem to be always fucking people or maybe that's because I've seen the movie Pirates, which is the porno. At the time it was the famous porno because they had CGI and it was like the most expensive production ever made on that old movie.

I've never seen that. I have seen Pirates of the Caribbean though. It's the same movie. There's a bit of fucking in that. Oh, that's nice. I think. It's like PG fucking. Oh, okay, okay.

Like you don't see the whole thing. So I think I've said this on the podcast before, but we bought the Pirates porn DVD from a market in Malaysia. But Malaysia being like a strict country, they just had to edit out all the sex scenes. And so we're all sitting around because it was like funny because we saw it at a market. Oh, it's that one with the CGI and, you know,

like they're all dressed as pirates. It's actually like quite funny. Yeah. So there was a lot of like, oh, Tony, why don't you step into my office and we'll talk about the contract in more detail. And they walk into the office and then they walk straight back out and go, well, I'm glad we got that sorted out. And we go, okay, they've obviously sorted out the contract.

But what about the cock? And then after 15 minutes the three-hour movie finishes because obviously some other stuff happened in the thing. Between them walking in and walking out. And so then there's a room of, there's probably like ten of us in the hotel in Malaysia and then the credits roll and we all I'm sorry, that situation is hilarious. Because it was like

we just saw it as a joke, whatever. Oh no, it was just a joke. We just thought like an orgy. But then the credits roll and we all go what the fuck just happened? Did you guys see what I saw? And the thing about the storyline of a porno is it's always like they're trying to solve

a crime and then it gets into the movie and they go, yeah, so we don't know who did it. And no one cares anyway because they've just used it in the cinema and who cares? Yeah. Do they show it in a cinema? They used to. Would you want to go to a cinema? No. I'd watch a porno in a cinema. Especially not in a trench coat. You cinema? They used to. Would you want to go to a cinema? No. Watch a porno in a cinema.

Especially not in a trench coat. You know? Learning how to stop, drop and roll is important if you catch on fire. Yep. But in your 30 years on this planet, how many times have you just caught on fire? I've actually never been on fire. I thought that would happen a lot, especially on dates. Also dates. I thought I would go on lot, especially on dates. Also dates.

I thought I would go on more dates in my life. I've never been on a date. And the first time, like Torbs and I once like we'd, I was like, oh, do you want to like go and get a coffee or something? And he was like, well, it's really hot today. So like we'll go get like a bubble tea. And I was like, okay. And that was like the only date we ever went on during the like i don't know courting phase after you've slept really tall

five times you're like do you want to hang out and not fuck that's exactly what it was yeah and i suggested coffee yeah you're kind of nice but we went to uni together so we like would sleep together and then go to class next day and be be like. Is that scandalous? Yeah, well, no one knew at first. Yeah, but does that make it like fun because you're like. I guess so. Or I'd be like, oh, yeah, I picked Torbs up on the way because his house is on the way. From the bathroom.

But his house is like on the way from my house or whatever. Yeah, but dates. I thought that like dating would be a really big thing. I've watched that many rom-coms that I was like, that's going to be huge for me. I'm going to need so many outfits ready to go at all times. You know what I mean? When you said dates, I thought you meant like catching fire on fire at dates. Oh no, just regardless.

So like separate dot point. But like, no. So I thought I would catch on fire at a date because of a rom-com. But then I also thought that I just, in general, go on a lot more dates, which hasn't happened. Would you like to go on a date? Yeah, we can. We'll go to the Bolton Street Dali. Yeah, thank you very much. You know what a girl wants?

What a girl wants. To be stuffed with chicken at the Bolton Street chicken shop. Marinated octopus. And there's puss. Finally, something we were warned about as children that didn't turn out to be such a big fucking big deal. By the way, tomorrow, stuff we should have been taught instead of this. Swallowing chewing gum.

Does it really stay in your body for 30 years? I feel like we were told all of these facts and I've just never swallowed gum so all good. But it's like it was implied that like one day you'll be walking down the street, similar to the Stranger Danger, and they'll just be like, like someone will just fucking. Throw gum in your mouth? Oh, I was warned not to do this.

Oh. Because how many times are you just chewing and you just go. Yeah, I mean, I've never swallowed gum, but I don't really chew gum because I don't like mint. Yeah. But like why aren't you allowed chewing gum at school? You know how that was, like, a huge rule, like no chewing gum at school? Everyone's like.

Well, maybe it's just because they thought that everyone would stick it under their table. And they would, though. And they would because you're a shitty teenager. Yeah. Yeah. Swallowing gum, I agree. But does it actually stay in your body for that long?

Surely not. You know how that's a thing that they say? Yeah, they say. Like does it actually stay in your body for that long surely not you know how that's the thing that they say like it'll stay in your stomach for 80 years what's more gross i'm gonna be dead by then fuck you sitting at a table in public and your hand accidentally gets under there and you go oh i've touched dry gum that's tucked to the bottom of the table that's option a in the what is more gross yeah or the fact that you got my gatorade bottle before that i've been reusing for two months and found mould on the inside of it and I've been drinking out of it this morning. Look, both are so bad but only one affects me, so I'm going to go with the gun.

Hi, it's Kate from Preston and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Yeah. listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. You can check out our Patreon at any time. We've got all the info in our show notes in the Facebook group, but it's completely separate to the Facebook group. You can join that without being anywhere else. Kayla Dix, good on you, Kayla.

Kyle O'Keefe, love you, Kyle. Thanks, Kyle. Samantha Knudsen. Hang on, hang on. No, these are not jokes. And Monica Foster. Good on you, Mon. Hang on. Can you just read those last names out?

Kayla Dix and Samantha Knudsen. Samantha's Knudsen on Kayla's Dix. I wonder if they know each other. I hope not. And Carlo Keefe. Yeah, Keefe. And did you know that that means like of the Keefs? Like it's like an old Irish thing.

There's an O on the front. Yeah, like O apostrophe means like so if you're like O'Neill, it's like of the Neills. So it's like a. Like Tony of the Ne front. Yeah, like O apostrophe means like, so if you're like O'Neill, it's like of the Neills. So it's like a. Like Tony of the Neills. Yeah, like so if the family name is Neills, it's like of the Neills like clan or like family or whatever. Is your last name Lodge or O'Lodge?

It's just Lodge. Oh, that's a shame. Given this new information that's been brought to light. It's kind of interesting fact though. No, it is. Do we do facts though? The other day you did lots of facts. Were they good?

No. Do you want to bring facts back? Nah. No? Nah. I'm happy with my one fact a year. Okay. My one segment of three facts a year or whatever it is.

You don't want to go to a quarterly fact? What about a new fact for the new studio? The only thing with a quarterly fact, I mean, with the financial year, I mean, that's just so confusing, isn't it? You know what I mean? Like I just think that with taxes the way that they are, it just would be so. Are you trying to put a facts, like finance facts,

into your chat about facts? If you thought that was a finance fact, you need to learn about the earth. Because that would not have taught you anything about finance or anything. Anyway, okay, so I feel like now we need to move on to are you good in a crisis? Apparently not. Which absolutely not. I know that you've said in the past that your wife, Bridget, is not great in a crisis., is not great in a crisis.

She's not great in a crisis. Not cool, calm and collected. She's a panicker. She panics. And is she kind of like. Frantic, panicking, makes it worse. So if you kind of said, oh, just pass me that cup, she would still be like.

Well, some would argue passing a cup is not a crisis. No, no, no. But say you're in a crisis and you're like, I just, like I'm choking, give me that water. She's just like, no, like, bleh. And if I'm ever in a car crash, this will probably be the reason why. You have said this before. You've seen it firsthand?

I have, yeah. I'll be driving, cool, calm and collected on our way to a destination. Bridget will see five kilometres ahead a bird. I mean, wonderful eyesight from Bridget five kilometres away. And just go, look out! Oh, fuck! And I go, what? And she goes, oh, there's a bird down there.

I hope no one was driving and listening to that because that was quite terrifying. But that's my point. If I crash, it's because she fucking, and then I nearly crashed because she freaks out. Because you're reacting to what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like, you know. Oh, actually, spoiler alert for 30 seconds ago, if you're driving, I'm about to do a sound.

Yeah, yeah. Or you know when you're driving with someone and they do this? Doesn't that make you so angry? It's actually worse. It's actually worse. Actually, there is something, there's one thing worse than that, and I've said it before and I'll say it again, someone giving you directions to a place you already know how to get to.

So you're driving and they go, yeah, just left up here. And you go, yeah, yeah, I know. And they go, yeah, I know, I know. And then just right and you go, yeah. So I've actually, I know, yep, I know where I'm going. I've actually. Or if you've got the GPS on and they go, yeah, it's just left up here. And then the thing goes, turn left in 100 minutes.

Yeah, just left up here. Yeah, I'm going to trust this robot. You take a load off. You actually don't need to take this job on. Okay, so we've got a lot of people in our lives that are good in a crisis. How are you in a crisis? I think I'm okay, but I probably fuss a little bit too much, as in like,

and I do this in real life as well. I know that it's, and I think it's called emotional monitoring, which is like really unhealthy. But like if I go like, are you okay? And you go, yep. I'll go, are you sure? And you go, yep. Just like, just hold it.

And I'll go, are you really sure that you're all right? And you go, yep. Which is not handy in a crisis or in real life but i do it at all times so it's not just because i think i'm good because i can start doing things but i'll be like do you need x and they'll go no no i'm okay and i'm like are you sure because i just really want them to know that like whatever they want is fine i don't know where this story is going but i just want to let everyone know two things if you want to get in tony's good books and turn tony on reverse parallel parking gets tony revved up which to be fair is a part of being calm because if you want to get in Tony's good books and turn Tony on.

Reverse parallel parking gets Tony revved up, which to be fair is a part of being calm because there's other cars around and you've got to do them. You're looking at 360 degrees. But just in general being calm in a crisis, that really gets Tony going. Maybe not in the crisis, but so the first time we launched the Frank Green water bottles, there was a shipping issue and it couldn't be shipped overseas and there was a wrong setting somewhere and we're getting like emails

flooding in, panic, panic, panic. The website's broken. We're not web guys. And I just went, I got this. Just give me a sec. And then Tony just watched. And I actually just let you do it. I wasn't like, oh, do you want me to?

I just went, okay. I'll call the guy. I'll fix the thing. I'll find the setting. All good. And then afterwards you just went, oh, that was hot. And because I trusted you in that moment, I just went, you just told me you've got this.

I don't need to like monitor what you're doing. I'll just let you do it. I'll just keep doing my thing and I gave you the space. And then after I did it successfully, you sucked my dick. Yeah, so. So this ends in a similar way. No. Sorry to ruin the fun side of the story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're saying, hang on, before I decide to tune in or tune out to this story, you're saying no one's dick gets sucked in this story? No one's dick gets sucked, unfortunately. Well, coming up tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. Have you got any love to say it? No.

So one of my best friends has just moved to Melbourne, Tim, who he- 100% that Tim? 100% that Tim, yeah. So he and I have been friends for like six or seven years. We used to work together in Bunbury. Both of our first radio job was together. We used to have dinner together every night. So both of our partners lived in Perth.

And so we used to go and cook dinner together. We'd have like some shit dinner or I'd cook dinner for the week and so would he and I'd bring my Tupperware container to his house and like we'd watch The Bachelorette and shit like it was just hell silly but we just like and then we'd play Scattergrees and fucking sit in the backyard and he's great and so he and his partner Cam have just moved over they've lived in Melbourne now for probably a month. And we've seen them every weekend I think since I've moved here. Like we've spent heaps of time with them and it's great to have like just old friends around.

Yeah. Like someone who you know and you trust and they've been in your life forever. You don't have to impress. And like we could go around there and just do nothing. We could all be watching TikTok separately together and it would be great. Isn't there something nice about just having someone to sit

on the other end of the couch and not talk to you while you scroll on your phone? It's actually, like, lovely and it brings a tear to my eye. Bridget goes, do you want to watch a movie or do you want to sit here and scroll on our phones? She's going, oh, isn't that nice? No, book in a little stose. Turn a movie on.

We did. Start scrolling. I watched, well, I didn't watch Little Poor Things. Oh, the Emma Stone film. Yeah, flipped that on and sat on my phone and fell asleep. That's on my list at the moment. Yeah. Anyway, so we've, yeah, we've spent like every weekend with them

and Tim and Cam love Torbs. We love Tim's boyfriend, Cam. We all get along great. Anyway, and so it was going to be like a kind of nice day. So we were like, oh, let's do like a late Arvo. We'll have an early dinner, you know, maybe some nibbles or something. And so we ended up going like, oh, what if we do like a little taco night? We'll come to your house at like 4.30.

Tim pours us all a rosé. Very nice. So we all just have like a little nice little glass of rosé. Yeah, take a little joff form afternoon. And we're just kind of like, you know, and then we're drinking and we're like, oh, we're doing a taco night. It'd be fucking rude not to have a margarita. Right.

So Tim goes. I thought you were going to say find drugs in this town. Well, there's someone on the corner ready to sell them. So Tim goes, it'd be rude not to have a margarita. And I was like, oh, my God, absolutely. I take back what I said earlier. Three things get Tony going. Carbonic crisis parking and a margarita.

And a fucking spicy margarita. Way to my heart. And so we go, oh, wouldn't that be nice? And Tim goes, oh, I don't have margarita stuff. And I was like, oh, that's okay. We can do like a Uber Eats, like liquor land. Jimmy brings fucking thing. And then we're all kind of like, you know that's okay. We can do like a Uber Eats, like Lick-A-Land, Jimmy Brings fucking thing. And then we're all kind of like, you know,

when it's the start of the night and it's going to be a quiet one, but then you all just like start gassing each other up and you go, let's fucking Taiwan on here. Are we settling right in here? Are we on? And so we're all like fucking charging. And like the alcohol's on its way, Tobbs doesn't order. And then Tim goes, oh, I found some random alcohol and he made us like an odd cocktail.

And so we're all kind of like a bit tiddly, a bit warm and we're all like getting real pumped. Torbz did the order for Liquorland and he gets a notification on his phone and it's like that the thing's there. And they've got, they're living in like this beautiful townhouse where like the living room's upstairs. The bedrooms are downstairs. So we were all sitting upstairs and Torbs gets a notification

that the guy's outside and he goes, oh, the guy's here. And Tim's partner, Cam, goes, oh, oh, great. Like you're our guest. Like I'll run down and get it. And Torbs goes, oh, they need my ID. You know how they, like, take a photo of your ID now? Anyway, so we're all, like, giggling and being silly and, like, Torbs runs downstairs and then all of a sudden Torbs yells up

and he goes, Tim, do you guys have a towel? And I'm like. Did he want to go for a swim? Well, I'm like, oh, he's just fucking dropped that fucking bottle of tequila. Oh, no. Like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, we're really excited. Like, you know, the vibes are high.

Yeah. We're ready to go. And then Tim goes down and then he goes, Cam, do we have a towel? And I'm like. He wants to go for a swim as well. What the fuck? Cam runs downstairs. All three of them are downstairs.

And then Cam goes, Tony, can you grab a towel? And I'm like, how many fucking towels do you guys need? What's going on? And like. How far downstairs did they go? I also don't live here. I don't know what we've got available. And so I run downstairs.

Pippa! Yeah! Pippi, swear hi. You've got to tell. I run downstairs, blood everywhere. What's happened? And Torbz's toe. He's killed the delivery driver.

Torbz's toe is hanging off. He's kicked the doorknob or something? As he steps outside, he's tripped on his thong. In Australia that means sandal. Sandal, yep. And he's gone down a step and the thong has kind of like bent underneath him and he's gone like this but then gone to step back forward and the top of his big toe is just in WA. Yeah.

And we're all standing there like, oh, my God, like this is, there was so much blood. Probably, I mean, it's a large wound. I can show you a photo of it. But also because he'd had a drink, you know, your blood's pretty thin. It just fucking squeezed out of his body. Would you say it was gushing? Oh, it actually was.

Like there was so much fucking blood. Anyway. So hang on, just to confirm, he did not drop the tequila? No. So he's holding this brown paper bag with like the tequila and a bag of ice in it or fucking something. And I'm like, all right, we need to do something. Did the delivery driver go, oh, that looks bad.

Anyway, I've got to see her. Did he hang around? Did he feel obliged to help? So we're kind of like standing there and I'm like, oh, my God, I'll go get, like Tim and Cam are just standing there like this. Yeah. Like, oh, what do we do? And Torbs is like, okay, like, and he's obviously in shock

because it was so bad. Anyway, I sprint upstairs and grab some paper towel. I go back downstairs and everyone is still just standing there staring at Torbs. And I go, Tim, do you have a first aid kit? And he goes, oh, yeah. We all kind of realised that we like need to start doing something. Doing something, yeah.

And he goes, okay. and I go, Alex, do you think you need to go to the hospital? And he goes, no, no, no, no. And I was like, do you need to go to the hospital? Do we need stitches? This looks really bad. And I was like, they can't stitch it. The piece of skin was like a 50 cent coin.

Like it's a big, it's a, yeah. I was like, they're not going to be able to stitch it, but they probably need to clean it. I think we should go to the hospital. And he goes, big, it's a, yeah. I was like, they're not going to be able to stitch it, but they probably need to clean it. I think we should go to the hospital. And he goes, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to clean it. And I was like, okay. And he's just standing there and I'm like, all right, we'll take you in. There's a bath downstairs. You sit on the side of the bath. We'll get some water running over that. Tim, you get your first aid kit, your isopropyl alcohol. Cam, can you please go and get a jug of water? Cause we need to get the blood off this fucking sidewalk. because it looks

like we've just stabbed someone. Yeah. It's not looking good. Anyway. Tony Lodge. Yeah. Did you realise in the moment how much you were dominating or did you just, it was like white line of fate,

you just like switched it to. I literally, I was like, no one's doing anything. I've got to tap in here and I'm doing it. Fuck. Anyway, and so we've like offered the hospital, we've yelled for the first aid kit. There's blood fucking everywhere and Torbs is kind of like trying to hop inside to the bath

and all of a sudden this voice out of nowhere goes, wow, you've really hurt yourself. And it's the Uber Eats guy. He's still there. He's standing there like, you know when you stand on a bike like with your legs either side of a bike and you're kind of standing over it, you're not sitting on your bike, like standing over it, and he's like, wow,

you've really hurt yourself. Is he just standing on his bike? Is he in the bath? He's gone to get a towel. And I was like, oh, you're still here. Like I kind of looked up and I was like, yeah. And he goes, yeah, like looks really bad. Oh, thanks, Sherlock, for fucking solving the crime.

Yeah, oh, does it? Oh, should I do something? And I'm like, can you go? Like it just felt so fucking. Did you say that? But I was just like, yeah. Did you say that? No, but I was just like in my mind I'm like, you need to fucking leave. Like what are you doing I was just like, yeah. Did you say that? No, but I was just like, in my mind, I'm like,

you need to fucking leave. Like, what are you doing? Do you go, yeah, it is pretty bad, but thanks for the delivery, mate. Did you try to like wrap him up? Yeah, so I'm like, I need to fucking get you out of here because this is so strange. And I was like, oh. You're dealing with these other three dickheads.

I don't need to deal with you as well. Yeah, like there's four adults. Now there's five and no one's doing anything. Anyway, and then I'm like, I need to wrap this guy up. Like, can you fuck off? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, wow, looks really bad. And I was like, yeah, like thanks though for like hanging around.

And he goes, oh, I didn't take a photo of them. And I was like, okay. I like run inside. I get the brown paper bag. Because you've already taken it. Because we've already taken it inside just to fucking move inside. And he's like, so it wasn't him like trying to care about the situation. It was like he's got his job to do and that's fine.

So does the photo, did you give it back to Torbs and it's like a crime scene? So I said to Torbs, I wish I took a picture of the blood because I can't convey how much fucking blood there was. No, but I want the proof photo to have blood in it. And then I said we should message Uber and see if the photo has the blood in it. Oh, sorry, we didn't get a receipt. Can you please send through the photo and receipt?

Yeah, you don't have the proof of the blood. There's like Torbs' body sprawled out. There's like a chunk of his toe sitting in the door still and there's like all the pool of blood and then just like a bottle of tequila sitting in the middle of it all. Yeah, and me in the background. Anyway, so, yeah, we all just like didn't really like know what the fuck we wanted to do.

But how did it end up? So Torb's like we patched him up, we've cleaned it up just at home and it's like it's okay. Is there still time on? No. Well, it really fucked the night because it was like so weird. It was a buzz killer. It was a real buzz killer.

And so now we've just got like these two bottles of tequila and all this margarita mix like at home. Like because, yeah, so if anyone wants to come around, there might be some blood in there. But, I mean, best things start with blood. I've always said that. Yep. But, yeah.

I'm proud of you. Thank yeah. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you, Tony Lodge, for being calm in a crisis. Very off brand. It was off brand. But, yeah, I think the biggest buzzkill was that at the end of that, Tim was kind of helping Torbs in the bath and Cam and I had to hose the blood off the steps and sidewalk. And because it was like kind of a hot day.

It was. It had like congealed over the top and there was like a film and then all the blood. Did they scrape it? It was high pressure hose, yeah. Yeah. I cannot. Was there a moment where you were like if someone walks past,

they're going to. Oh, it looked crook as and I was like we need to get rid of the blood ASAP because I also didn't. They're renting. So I was like I don't want to fucking get do you know what i mean like yeah like what does that look like they come around for an inspection they go well obviously you're murderers yeah you guys selling drugs on the corner um anyway yeah well especially as tim is a content creator a lot of people don't understand that that's like a job now yeah so when they go so where do you work?

And he goes, oh, nowhere. Yeah. I just have money. Yeah. All of a sudden I've just got this cash. Okay, so this young guy just has money. And there's heaps of blood on the ground. He's obviously just offing people on the side for cash.

Is he Billy? Is that his? Yeah, yeah. He will make your car disappear, that's for sure. But anyway, yeah, I was very proud of myself for jumping into action. I think everyone will be proud of you too. Yeah. But, yeah, so I very proud of myself for jumping into action. I'm proud of you. I think everyone will be proud of you too. Yeah. But, yeah, so I'm basically living up to my doctor title.

Well, you are a doctor and I think it's – Poor Torbs. I don't want to say it's about time that we saw Dr. Tony Lodge in action. Fuck, it's cruel. As you're limping. Oh, yeah, like he won't be at work. Really? Like he can't drive, he can't walk, yeah, he can't do anything.

It's fucked. By sick leave or work from home? Probably work from home. But, yeah, like because he can't wear, I don't think he'll be able to wear shoes. Oh, why don't we get him a real nerdy looking orthopedic boot? Oh, I'd like that actually. That's funny.

And I can tease him. Yeah. But anyway, poor thing. Yeah, I don't know. Who cares about torps? This is a heroic tale about Tony Lodge. Yeah, it is. So fuck that other guy.

Thank you for recognising that for what it is. I've got to love to see it. And it's Start the Fucking Blog Energy from Gabriel Chase Armstrong. Oh. Gabriel is a tarpo. She is an artist who's been trying to sell my art for years, says Gabriel. Well, the other day I made my first ever commissioned piece of art. So someone came in and said, here's what I want.

Here's what I'm going to pay, blah, blah, blah. And once I finished it, i did a really great job and then their friend sent through a message going i saw you did this i'd love one as well and now the ball is rolling they're selling their art you fucking love to see it oh my god what's there do they have like an instagram or something uh no but i will look up can we find out out that on Instagram? Sorry, I got so excited about the R. I also think I've misgendered Gabrielle because in Australia that's often a female name, but I've looked at their profile. Well, Gabriella would be.

Yep. Yeah. Either way, I will comment and I'll find a link. Yeah, amazing. But the first sale is the hardest, isn't it? Oh, and I think you've got a bit of imposter syndrome when you start anything new. Yeah.

And so getting like over that first hump, you go, wow, yeah. Absolutely. But good on you, Gabriel. That's awesome. I've got a You Love To See It here that was sent through to our Patreon DMs by Eli Wing. And Eli said, hate to start coincidence chat, but I think I've got a good one.

Here we go. I actually will be the judge of that. Nah, I think it's pretty good. I was driving yesterday, Eli says. Oh, I've got a good one. Here we go. I actually will be the judge of that. No, I think it's pretty good. I was driving yesterday, Eli says. Oh, I've got a car, mate. Yeah, okay, great. Yeah, brag about it. So do I.

To coincidence, to drop off a hoodie to this guy that I'd had a thing with. And so, you know, it's also the like, you've left something at my house. Classic. I've got to drop it off. Or sometimes you're like looking for an excuse. You're like, oh, yeah, is this your sock? Because I can drop it off if you want and suck your fucking asshole. Anyway, I was driving yesterday to drop a hoodie off to this guy

that I had a thing with and I was listening to the pod and I think sometimes if you get to listen to the latest one, it plays like a random old one that you haven't heard before in Spotify and a random episode started playing and it was random old one that you haven't heard before in Spotify. And a random episode started playing. And it was an old one called Dump the Boy, Keep the Hoodie. One of the great episodes and one of the great lines. And Eli said he made me think, what the fuck am I doing? I took the advice, turned around, kept the hoodie and went the fuck home.

You love to see that. You love to see that. And good coincidence chat, I feel. When life imitates art, you know. Will art. That's funny. I will pay that. Yeah.

That is a great coincidence. That makes one good coincidence we've ever had on this show. Oh, we've had more than one. Oh, like that guy who fixed tables and saw a table. Or the person who thought they went to college with someone who maybe met their brother once. They've not been good. That is good.

That's a good one. But keep your coincidence chats coming because we really like them. But I think there's a pin post in our Facebook group. You can pop your coincidence chats in there. But we love to see that. Thank you so much for sharing that because that's really gassed me up. Yeah, it's gassed me up. All right, have a good day, everyone.

Tomorrow, confessions. These are talking manners. All right, have a good day, everyone. Tomorrow, Confessions. These are talking manners. All right, we'll chat to you then. Love you, bye.