Toni and Ryan - It's Not Dull Because of the Crime
Episode Date: November 20, 2024So it's NOOOOTTTT dull because of the crime!!!!!!!!! Love ya xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilod...ge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur bestselling Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. Oh, good day mate.
Now if I know anything about approvers of the Tony and Ryan podcast is if they're
from Newcastle Australia, they're usually loose units.
Yeah, that is fair actually.
With that in mind, let's call Jamie in Newcastle.
Having called almost 800 people ourselves, we notice these patterns.
Come on, onlyileen, it's Tony, right?
Someone get a towel.
There's come on, Eileen.
Jamie, welcome to the podcast.
How are you?
We're real good.
I believe.
We're bloody fucking, we're good, mate.
How are you?
Jamie, believe you've got a joke for Tony.
Why do witches that wear underwear?
Cause they're dirty horse.
No, no, no.
Get a better grip on the broom.
Well, Tony, you froze that joke, Jamie.
We will prove today's episode.
Of course I will.
I knew there was a reason I didn't win because you're my Audi.
Same.
That's Jamie from Newcastle and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the show.
Hello.
Next Thursday is Thanksgiving and next Thursday is Tony Lodge's birthday.
And Tony seems to believe she's the sweet little baby Jesus.
Yeah. That's how it sweet little baby Jesus. Yeah.
That's how it works.
I believe.
Yeah.
Um, do you want to-
A conserved holiday when you're born.
Do, um, giving you a week's notice, you'll be preparing, uh, like some kind of speech.
Maybe, um, Sophie could get you like a stick on beard.
Yeah.
I've got one.
Don't borrow mine for the day.
Slap it on there. Yeah.
And then you'll preside over.
Maybe I could then give a semen.
I'll give you that as well.
God, a blessed day.
Yeah.
Would you give me a birthday?
All right.
Gave me a semen.
It gave me, oh no, there's a name for that.
The Abraham Lincoln.
What's that?
What is it?
I love it.
Why are you looking at me like I would know that?
What is it?
Let me just Google this in real time.
The Prime Minister, president.
Oh God.
Um, I'm typing in Abraham Lincoln to what's the website that's fucked.
Urban dictionary.
Yeah.
If it's what I think, if it's what I think it is.
I don't get it.
Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is.
Yeah. Is it something about the White House?
It's like, oh, make your back door wide or something.
No, it's actually literally what we just described.
What? Mom skip forward 30 seconds.
Same.
Well, she skipped through the whole thing.
She tapped out long ago.
Oh, Sophie, it's almost my birthday.
And you'd bring up my mum.
I hope not.
I met her the other day.
I hope not.
What's the Abraham Lincoln?
You shave your pubes and then you jizz on their face and then you throw the pubes on
so it like sticks on like a beard.
It's Ryan's birthday as well.
He just turned 15.
Yeah, I know.
It's such a high school.
They're like, oh, they're not going to get over the Mississippi mudslide.
Of course not.
You've done that to someone.
That's disgusting. No, I would never shave my pubes.
Have you got bushy pubes?
Spongy.
Cause same, that all good.
Spongy.
But you know how they're like, cause their hair's like a different texture.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like it's not like head hair.
Welcome to Thursday.
Welcome to New York.
Hey, more on this next week. Maybe.
Do I have to prepare something?
Yes. I'll prepare something.
Prepare your semen.
Normal or nah.
Thank you for submitting these in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group.
Jennifer Courtney has a normal or nah.
Jennifer.
Buying multiple McFlurries to keep them in the freezer at home for those random
ice cream cravings. Jennifer says normal.
Jennifer. I don't want to assume anything about where you live, but I believe it's at rock bottom
because that is Trageana. That is the Trageana's trench.
That is right at the bottom.
Wow.
I've never heard Trageana before.
Me either.
That is rock bottom.
I just had to make that up.
That needed a new word.
Wow.
My first thought was excellent.
But then my second thought was, does Jennifer know you can buy like all sorts of different
ice creams in the freezer aisle at your local supermarket?
I get that a McFlurry hits different, like a soft serve hits different.
Yeah it does.
But they're not good if they've been in the freezer because they're then not smooth and
yum.
Yeah, then they'll just be a serve.
It's like icy.
Yeah.
Well then it would be a soft.
No, it's no Trageana, but I do get what you're saying.
I think the important thing to note is here that we need a welfare check on Jennifer and
maybe we'll send her a box of Cornettos or something.
Okay.
I'll also remind you that we're sponsored by the great people at McCafe at some stage
this week.
No, the problem is not with Mc- no, I did not say that once.
I just, they don't hold in the freezer.
Yeah.
They're not designed for that.
The tragicness isn't the McFlurry.
It's the putting them in the fridge.
Also like give yourself a little day out of the house and just go get one.
Get it on, like get it delivered.
No judgment, but they're just not good after a few days.
Yeah.
Well, a little judgment.
Judgment on the storage. Yeah, no, a little judgment. Judgment on the storage.
Yeah, no, I get it.
I get it now.
Uh, Caitlin Archer has a normal on her.
Sorry to interrupt.
If you could have a soft serve machine in your house though.
No, I don't.
You know, the other day, I think it was-
Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Like if you could have a gimmicky thing in your home.
Oh, okay.
Is that, would that be up there for you?
Oh, what about like a little Sunday station?
Oh, like some little freckles and little nuts and stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sprinkle the lollies on the ice cream.
Yeah.
But I think that like just the little soft serve, just a little bzzt,
cause you could just have a little bit.
You know how on my fridge, you press the button and the water comes out.
Can I convert that into an ice cream thing?
Let's ask someone.
Someone surely has figured that out.
Message through.
Yeah.
Sorry to interrupt.
Normal enough.
Have you thought more about what your random purchase would be?
I just then thought, cause yeah, wouldn't it be great if you had soft serve on
demand?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It would be nice.
Caitlin Archer has a normal enough.
Hi Caitlin.
Does anyone else get really fucked off
when you go to put your shoes on
and your laces are already tied up
because instead of undoing them,
you just kicked your shoes off last time
and you're really fucked off at your previous lazy self?
Normal.
Normal.
Especially if they're not a shoe
that you can just like slip into,
even with the laces done up.
How is it possible for something to be so easy to slip out of, but impossible to slip into?
Answer me that.
Trageana.
That is a great question.
How can something be easy to slip off, but it doesn't sleep off through the day?
How am I running in these shoes through the day?
And then I can just kick a heel and they fly.
And they, and they're gone into yesteryear.
There needs to be an investigation here.
How could that be?
How are we not de-shoeing more regularly through the day by accident?
Have you ever just like popped a shoe?
Have you seen that viral clip where there's someone gets hit by a car, like God bless.
And the shoe flies off.
And the shoe just fucking flies.
And how the fuck did that happen?
But you know what I mean?
Like if that's the case,
then how are we not just randomly
de-shoeing through the day?
I actually just don't want to think.
I don't want to think about it.
That's upsetting.
Jessica Scott has a normal enough.
Even when you're just wearing sandals or books or whatever.
Your shoes don't like just slip off.
Oh, that's just a bit of your pubes.
The fucking just clicked my hamstring there.
No, you have not.
That is the 40 year old.
Did you say how high my leg got? Trageana. Thank you. It was a high kick. Thank you have not. That is the 40 year oldest thing I've ever heard. Did you say how high my leg got?
Trageana.
Thank you.
It was a high kick.
Thank you, Sophie.
Glad someone appreciates some fucking ballet when it happens.
Jessica Scott has a normal on her.
Jessica Scott, a normal on her.
That's what I said.
Oh, good.
I don't think you did. I think you're lying.
Is it normal to go up the stairs on all fours like a dog or am I the weird one?
So, yeah, you get it.
I get it. So she's like, yeah.
I think you can get up some real speed doing it that way.
Like you could go faster on all fours than you can standing up, which I've always said.
Yeah.
I've seen it.
Yeah.
You get there way faster on all fours.
But I think, and you can get some grip, you know.
Bit of purchase.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause when you're standing up.
You need to make it count.
Yeah. Yeah. Cause when you're standing up. You need to make it count.
Yeah.
Oh, Sophie, reduct that.
How steep are the stairs at Jessica's house?
Yeah.
Is she rock climbing up them?
It sounds like her stairs are a ladder.
Oh.
But that shouldn't shock you.
A ladder is just up by stairs.
Well, all stairs are up by stairs.
If you're heading upstairs.
Up that way.
That's good.
Isn't it?
Well, I don't have any stairs at my house.
Just, just the one story, unfortunately.
Sorry.
Um, to disappoint.
Um, so I don't have any stairs that I go up, but the stairs at work are very steep.
Yeah.
Um, have you ever got the, or fought it?
No, I haven't, but maybe I'll do it later.
Don't try it now and then tell a story as soon as you get to the top of the stairs.
No, cause that is not allowed.
You know that that's banned in our office.
We have a rule in the office that you can't ask people questions when they've
walked up the stairs because they're puffed.
Yeah.
Cause you have to give them at least 45 seconds to say good morning.
It's just polite.
It's polite.
Craig Patrick Callison the second.
Fuck, save some names for the rest of us, big dog.
Here's a normal one.
Ah, when you're going number two or three in public, you stop going as someone
enters the restroom and wait until they finish to leave.
And I think we can all agree that his question is, uh, what's the
moot point because what's the number three?
Did he jizz?
Has he vomited?
Is the three a vomit?
A vomit?
Or is his just higher cause he's got that many names.
He goes a number one, number two, she doesn't cut it.
I've got to do a two or a three.
I'm actually a rich man with a huge name and I do a three because inflation.
Can you read the name again?
Craig Patrick Callison the second.
Well, there's the number three.
He's doing himself.
That's the calm.
That's the jizz.
Oh, so a number one's a way.
A number two is a calm and the number three is the poop.
Next problem.
Hi, it's Jamie from Newcastle and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
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Can I tell you something?
One of the most embarrassing moments of my life.
Is this on the pod or no?
Yeah, I think so.
Okay.
Me and Maddie Heap in Canberra, who was the producer of the Ryan
and Tanya show and Taylor, who worked with us as well.
We had a running joke about vodka cruises because we were like, how
funny, like a bunch of boys having a week, a boys trip and having some vodka cruises.
I love them.
What's your go-to flavor?
Mine's a guava.
A guava vodka cruiser hits like some fucking chronic.
I'll actually need to step in and correct you there.
I believe it's actually called a lush guava.
You know what?
Point taken.
And the reason I know that is that is also my favorite.
Uh, Maddie Heap.
Are you serious? Maddie Heap is a pineapple guy, which was, will surprise no one.
Yeah.
But also cause it makes the comes taste good.
Is that why he did it?
And that's why Taylor was so impressed in the morning.
Anyway, we go to the bottle shop at Bateman's Bay.
Three lads Friday afternoon.
Yeah.
Good day, mate.
Two mixed slabs of vodka cruises, please.
Love that, powerful move.
So we're standing there holding these things
and then this guy pulls up in like a real old school you.
You know, and I think it's got like the barbecue in the back,
the fishing rods, the surfboard.
That sounds so fun.
So fun.
And he goes, g'day mate.
A slab of Forex and some salt and vinegar chips.
I mean, put a fucking fork in me. A beer in S and B and a surf.
Oh, cut me down, mister. Beautiful.
And then he looks over at us holding our vodka cruises and he goes,
good day fellas. Did you also need some cheese and Bickeys?
I mean, that sounds great too.
The jokes on that asshole.
Cheese and biscuits and a vodka cruiser in Bateman's Bay.
So we just copped that and then we looked at each other and said, wait,
and cause that that's where the original joke of no empty offers.
It's that crute.
And Matty goes, yeah, we'll take him.
Yeah. Oh, and what did the guy say? That's amazing. God, when you call people's bluff,
that's good. Cheese and Bikkies Mac goes, yeah. Love some baby. Where's the brief?
Cut me off a slice. Yeah. Dickhead. Big afternoon fellas.
That's good.
That is very good. A lot of power moves happening in Bateman's Bay at the, um, the
thirsty camel down there.
I like that.
That's a nice arvo.
I remember one of the girls I was friends with, I was, I was probably 18.
Like I was freshy and she was a bit older than me, but her boyfriend was like 21, like had a job already and stuff.
And this was like a big deal that he bought her a carton of cruises for like a long weekend.
And we were going to be, you know, like partying at someone's house the whole weekend.
And she had a carton of cruises.
And I remember being like, that's like $70.
Yeah.
Like that, cause that's like a lot of money
for because RTDs for anybody like in Australia are really, really expensive. Like can't cheaply buy.
What is it called? Alco pops or something. Is that still a thing? The tax is definitely. Yeah. It's
so expensive. Anyway, a massive shout out to a few of our champion tarpers. Oh yeah, sorry. Crack open a fucking cold vodka cruiser for us this weekend.
Jamin, good on you.
Simone G, Kaylee Dory, Rachel Cormier.
Call me A. Hi A.
And there you go.
But call me A. But it's like, it's like French.
So, so if you might know C-O-R-M-I-E-R. Call me A.
Yeah, yeah. like, it's like French. So, so if you might know C O R M I E R call me A. Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, Siobhan Wilkinson, which is spelled Siobhan.
The French way.
And Kate Taylor.
I absolutely love to say it.
How do you pronounce that one?
I think it's Siobhan, isn't it?
But I say Siobhan because it's a joke from Kevin Kim.
And it is hilarious.
And I just don't really get it.
I don't get Irish things either.
Like the Gaelic names I just cause it's like a big thing in Australia, but I don't
understand how the B and the H can be a V.
A B and a H for me is a fucking Ziggy on a Friday.
I thought.
It's like a Benson and Hedges in this face.
Um, I used to live with a party girl from Ireland.
Woo! She was a woo girl. I with a party girl from Ireland. Woo!
She was a woo girl.
I love a woo girl.
And her name was?
Was it Aoife?
Like A-O-I-F-E?
Fuck, I just had it.
I fucking lost it.
Oh.
Niamh?
No.
Niamh?
Saoirse?
No, it was-
Oh, Saoirse Rowan. I think it was Niamh. Niamh? No, it was...
Oh, Saoirse Rowan.
I think it was Neve.
Neve.
No, what's it?
But it wasn't a fucked name, but it was a fucked spelling.
Yeah, well, Neve is like traditionally M H.
Her name was Neve.
But if you asked me to spell her name 15 ways,
I wouldn't have landed anywhere near the way it was actually spelled.
Because that's N I A M H.
It was N I A G H T fit fucking who's fucking.
Well no it isn't it's M H.
But like.
Like I'm telling you.
But I just remember seeing the name on the paper.
And then she goes, hi I'm Neve.
Or she didn't say it like that.
She said it in her native tongue.
Um, and I was just like.
Top of the morning to you I'm Neve. Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry that. She said it in her native tongue. Um, and I was just like, top of the morning to you, I'm Neve.
Kind of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry, that, sorry to all Irish friends.
That was in the Majora share house.
Um, did you sleep with Neve?
No.
Sorry, sleeve with me.
Sleeve with Neve.
No, no, no, no.
You did, did you?
No, because I'd previously was with someone in a share house.
And that didn't-
Was that the girl that you broke up with on Facebook by poking her on Facebook Messenger? Was that that girl? It wasn't by poking, but the rest of that story is unfortunately true.
Yeah.
Speaking of getting drunk in country towns, I've got some advice.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, that's, yeah.
I've soiled myself.
Oh, no, I haven't, but like.
If you're going out but like, you know.
If you're going out this weekend, you need to get a bar made who's on your team.
Tony, you okay, mate?
I just kept talking.
Oh, just today?
Don't, don't be nasty.
No, no.
I just kept going.
Yeah.
Yeah. Like somebody has stopped me. I wish they did.
Do you carry?
Now, Tony, I don't know if this is going to like annoy you or flap you, but this is advice.
But when you hit the town tonight, last Friday night I was at a pub and they called last
drinks and I was in.
What?
Yeah.
You were there when they called last drinks.
Well, no state to drive home, obviously.
Obviously.
I, but I was walking, walking distance to a friend's place.
And I said to the girl, cause they're selling like bottles of beer and, and
beer on tap with the glasses.
So you're like, obviously don't want to steal a glass.
Well, you would never.
No, you can't take a beer bottle like glass on the streets bad.
And I kind of went like, what have you like, not that I can like take drinks out
of a venue, but like, but like hypothetically, if I was planning on taking one for the
road, for the walk home, like how can we, what's the best?
And she goes, Oh, I'll get you a can of this drink.
Cause a can like all good.
What was the can?
Fuck you.
It was a Jimmy can.
It was a Jimmy can.
Jim Beam and Cola.
Jim Beam and no brand Cola.
Like it's not name brand is just Cola.
Not Jim Beam and Coke?
No.
It is Jim Beam and Cola.
No sugar because I'm watching my stuff.
Cause oh yeah, you wouldn't push it over the edge.
Now would, is that a conversation that you would have?
Never.
Nah.
Cause you'd just steal the glass.
Is that what you're implying?
No way.
I mean, I don't think I've ever been somewhere when they closed.
Is probably my first thing.
I don't think I've ever liked, um, You know, actually I've been kicked out of a
pub once and it was with Sophie and it was a Wednesday night and they asked us to leave many
times. Why what happened? What? What happened? Yes, it was the night that we were out with Acast,
you'd already gone home and we got kicked out of a pub and Sophie bailed up that guy.
And Sophie bailed up that guy. No.
Jonathan Brown from the football.
Yeah.
JB Browny.
Jimbo, Jonathan, John Brown, Jovi.
The surprising thing was when Sophie bailed up Jonathan Brown
is that Sophie found someone more hammered than she was.
That was the real surprise.
I don't know.
Oh, she did.
No.
He was ready to go home. I wasn't. I stayed with Tony till the end.. I don't know. Oh, actually that's not... No. He was ready to go home.
I wasn't.
I stayed with Tony till the end.
Yeah.
And then some.
Yeah.
I went home at that time.
I had a good girl.
Anyway, that's actually the only...
Remember when one of the executives from A-Cast got lost?
Yeah. We didn't know where he was.
Yeah. And then, well, we had his phone and wallet and keys and luggage and he was gone.
We weren't allowed in, but I'll say he's a great guy.
Yeah.
And then we were just there with his friends, Scott and Wilson.
Anyway, so that's actually the only time I've ever been in a pub.
If he's listening, obviously we're joking. That's the only time I've ever been in a pub. If he's listening, obviously we're joking.
That's the only time I've ever been kicked out of a pub and it was with Sophie.
She's a terrible influence.
Okay.
Have you ever stolen anything from pub, Sophie?
Oh, maybe.
Yeah.
What are you, what are you, what's your, what's your haul?
Well, one time I went home to Brizzy and I was having wines at the local Bowls Club.
And we, I was like to my friend, come around and have dinner at my folks place.
Hadn't seen them in a while.
We went to primary school together, so they all know each other.
And we walked home with our wine glasses and my dad was not happy.
Was that his local Bowls Club?
Yeah.
And he washed the glasses and took them back.
Oh, was it a short fat one though?
Yeah. So you don't want to keep that anyway.
Okay. No.
Like you would take that back.
Yeah.
That's all.
Yeah. You know.
But was your dad like, I'm planning on drinking in that bowls club regularly for the next
20 years.
So I need to keep those guys on side.
100%.
I think he was also just like, you're back home and you're acting like a bratty teenager.
That's what going back home is for.
Yeah, that's what it's for.
And he was just like, Sophie Woods gave me that. Maybe he's even my middle name.
Estelle. A bit like Tom Woods' sister who's Stella and that's Woods.
Yeah.
Estelle Woods.
Yeah.
Crazy.
That is crazy. So what did you do? So you've taken the can. We took multiple Jimmy cans out and that was great.
But no cup.
No cup.
And she was, she was like, I actually respect that because people like try to steal shit
all the time.
Yeah.
And they would too.
I need to make a confession.
I know it's not Tuesday.
Oh no.
My wife is a notorious novelty spoon stealer.
She's got my ducky spoon. No. Moa is a notorious novelty spoon stealer.
She's got my ducky spoon.
She's stolen my ducky spoon.
Is that what you're saying?
If you know how you go to some places, like this is like that old school, like,
oh, that little tea place near the river in the Gambia.
And it has a beautiful, like locally crafted, beautiful, and
Bridge goes, have a look at that.
It's pretty good.
Isn't it?
We've got a whole drawer of them at home.
And even sometimes it's not like the vintage one.
She just goes, every time we go to a nice restaurant, she goes, do you, and I go,
fuck, I already know what you're going to say.
She goes, have a look at that spoon.
Like it's a, you know, sometimes you hold like a really nice piece of
cutlery and you just go, oh. And it's nice, you know, sometimes you hold like a really nice piece of cutlery and you just go off.
And it's nice and heavy and everything.
Yeah.
It nearly weighed down the car driving, like the weight.
She's got it in her handbag.
And she's like, um, so this doesn't surprise me actually, because I've known
Bridget for a long time.
You know, she's a kleptomaniac.
No, no, no.
But I know someone who's exactly like that.
My mom.
Really?
Every time we would go to a cafe.
No.
You know how they always, when you get like a, a bit of a fancy latte or something, and they don't give you the teaspoon with the short handle.
They give you the teaspoon with the long handle.
Yeah.
Because in case you ordered a fucking Dona Mkreski, you get right in there.
Yeah.
But it's like a silver, like proper metal teaspoon.
And so it's like the small end.
So it's not a dessert spoon.
It's the teaspoon at the end with the long handle.
Drawful of them.
Like my mum used to steal them all the time.
She'd go, oh, they're good at home.
Cause she didn't like putting her like little fingers into the coffee.
Having a tall coffee with a short spoon is actually some form of, what's the
thing, Chinese water torture.
I don't know, but yeah, like it's not good.
Cause you have to drive me insane.
Like, you know, they're like, we're going to drive this, but like, if you're,
okay, if you're in a negotiation with me and say the cops are like, yeah, we're going to get him.
You know, this is what you do.
This is really taking a turn.
You come in with a tall coffee in a short spoon.
I'll go, give me a long spoon.
I'll tell you anything you want.
Yeah.
Like, I will snitch.
I'll roll over.
So, but yeah, your mom's right.
So she is on the fucking same wavelength thing. Yeah. And so she used to- Me and Liz are on the fucking same wavelength.
You are, yeah.
And so she used to always do those and we would get home from a cafe and you, sitting
across from her, you wouldn't even know that she'd done it, but we'd get home and she'd
pull them out of her handbag.
And you know, a mom, like a comically gigantic handbag-
Handbag with 87 different things in there including four spoons.
Like there's a full car in there, you know, and then it rattling around at the bottom
would be all these long teaspoons that she'd seen during the week that she'd fucking yoinked.
How many do you reckon she'd rolled from the coffee club in her time?
So I think that we ended up with 12 and she was like, that's enough now.
Like I don't, I don't need to keep stealing them.
Yeah.
But I remember they were all at the same shape because they were all actually from
the Kailas Cafe in Fremantle.
Fremantle and Kailas, yeah.
And they all, they had the same spoons for a really long time.
And then I remember going to a new cafe with mum and they had the same style of
spoon, but it was like a fuller, fatter, rounder metal.
And it looked a lot nicer and newer.
She goes to take those cause they're an upgrade from the other ones that we've got.
Yeah.
I've got a question.
Question.
And I think this is me being vulnerable.
Yep.
This is us being reflective and self-aware.
Okay.
I am loving Spoon Chat.
I love it too.
Are we getting too dull?
Cause we're all loving Spoon Chat, But then I just had a moment of like, we're talking about spoons.
No.
Okay.
Let me bring us all back.
No, but maybe the crime is edgy.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Like, like we're not just, my, my spoon is this.
Yeah.
My mom loved this spoon.
It's the stealing that's the good crime.
Is cutting it through. It's like an episode of Underbelly.
Vince Colosimo is on the phone right now.
Why does he need money?
He's interested in playing the role of my mum.
He'd do it. He'd do a good job.
He would. He would, yeah.
He's a great actor. Vince Colosimo bag.
Okay, well not a dull podcast, not a dull cast today. Hey, I've got a love to see it here
from Sophie Barnum, which is not our Sophie. Oh, our Sophie.
Yeah. My love to see it is that I cleaned out my clothes, decided to donate them,
put them in my car and dropped them off on the same day.
No, you didn't. That's a lie.
Yeah. And my love to see this, Sophie's a fucking liar.
The same day.
Huge news, Sophie.
Wow.
Oh.
The other day I had to take a bag of clothes
to donate back out of my car
because I was putting other things in there.
It had been in my car for three weeks
and I was like, I'll just take them back out.
Because I'm like, my boots now full of something else.
Yeah.
And so now they're back in the house. I'll probably start wearing them again. No, but I'm going, I haven full of something else. Yeah. And yeah, so now they're back in the house.
I'll probably start wearing it again.
No, but I'm going to say this in a while.
Yeah, you know what?
This old number.
Been a while.
Vintage now.
Yeah.
Found it in an op shop.
Fought it back.
Paid for the privilege to bring it back home.
Must be nice.
Yeah.
I've got you love to see here from Dave Cox and everything's OK.
Oh, I just started with that.
Dave says he sent this through on Patreon.
He says back in early 2021, I broke part of my neck
working in emergency services, which kicked off a massive journey.
So obviously wasn't able to to walk for a long time.
Dave says immovable Cox.
Coxics, maybe not only through physical recovery, but battling PTSD
and trying to help my wife. Sorry. Raise out two boys who were only six months old at the time.
Sorry for doing the borat joke during the middle of that six months old. He's got a
six month old and breaks it at work as well, which is like the admin of, you know,
workers compensation, all of that.
And with all that harrowing stuff going on around him,
Tony goes, I will do a Borat joke.
I will slide a joke in here.
Dave says, after multiple surgeries and heaps of physio,
I've been really hesitant on trying anything new
because I really just don't want to get injured again.
But with gentle encouragement from my physio
and some less gentle encouragement from mine,
I decided it's time to kick life in the cala conti and start the fucking blog.
Yeah, I mean, fuck.
Isn't that amazing?
Yeah.
In the last month, I've started playing an organized sport, like multiple indoor sports.
So you kind of rotate every week.
Fun.
And for the first time in 20 years,
I'm like back at the gym and I rode a roller coaster
for the first time since my injury.
You had me to the roller coaster.
Cause you're not a roller coaster guy.
I was about to say, sign me up.
I'll come and do some indoor sport,
but a roller coaster can fuck around.
Well, I think you're not gonna like the last of it as well
because Dave says, I'm back bitches.
And you love to say it, which is amazing.
PS Ryan. I take back bitches and you love to see it, which is amazing. PS Ryan.
I take back what I said.
Our first sport was volleyball and we got beaten.
We got beaten 83 to 56.
No, the answers already. No, no, no, no, no.
Also what scoring system are you using?
Do you think this could be because I didn't strap my wrists?
Is that why they lost, do you think?
Maybe you should have strapped your fucking body
before you went to work that day.
Dave, he's just acting out.
Reducted, reducted, reducted.
That was more about me.
Yeah, that was a reflection on Ryan.
But I think that is so fucking amazing.
I was ready to give you a big gasping up
before you fucking turned violent.
I know, he did make it personal.
No, he made it personal, he went there,
but I will be the, nah, that is impressive.
You're the bigger person, you can come back down.
I think just, you've got-
Is this like being the bigger person feels like?
I've never felt this way.
Yeah, I've never seen it, it's amazing.
Does it look weird on me?
Yeah, I don't like it.
I think I've got a workplace injury from the whiplash.
Um, but imagine having kids.
No, what a great guy.
Yeah.
You know.
Yeah, love him.
Love him.
But you've got six month old twins.
Fuck dude.
You know, like he's obviously young and just fuck.
To come back from that is just fucking amazing.
And I just love to see it.
And also shout out to anyone that has multiple kids,
because I've got one and fucking her.
I've got none and it's pretty hard.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Life is fucking hard.
Life is hard.
I love Mabel so much.
And she's just the best.
She jumped in bed with me last night and sneezed in my mouth
and then laughed in my face.
Well, that's pretty funny. To be fair to her, it is quite hilarious.
Luckily she's taking after me in the comedy department, not you.
Why, by finishing in my mouth?
Don't redact that. That was hot as. Reduction not required.
Yeah. Dave Cox, love it when you finish in my mouth.
Congratulations. Kick life in my mouth. Congratulations.
Kick life in the Carla Conti.
I love that.
Do you want to ask us who are strange all of a sudden?
I do feel a bit strange.
Yeah, it's a weird way to end.
Remember when we were talking about spoons before?
That was fun.
And that was a bit strange,
but we like allowed it and now we're here.
Yep. But that's okay.
Tomorrow.
What should I do?
Cause I feel like I can't.
What'd you call me?
See you tomorrow.
Love ya.
Love the fucking shit out of you.
Video show tomorrow.
Video show tomorrow.
Happy Thanksgiving for next week, Tony Lodge. Love you, bye.
Based on Charles Yu's award-winning book, Interior Chinatown follows the story of Willis Wu, a background character trapped in a police procedural who dreams about a world beyond
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