Toni and Ryan - Jiminy Jones, Giuliana!

Episode Date: November 17, 2024

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Are you sure you parked over here? Do you see it anywhere? I think it's back this way. Come on. Hey, you're going the wrong way. Feeling distracted? You're not alone. Whether renting, considering buying a home,

or renewing a mortgage, many Canadians are finding it hard to focus with housing costs on their minds. For free tools and resources to help you manage your home finances and clear your head, visit Canada.ca slash It Pays to to know a message from the government of Canada. Good day Canada. How would you say hello Canada?

Bonjour Canada. Not what I was expecting. Hello Canada. Also not that. Oxio is an innovative Canadian internet provider with fair prices and no surprises. Unlike Tony, he's full of them. They have prices that actually stay the same

as long as you stay with them. Seriously, no secret discounts, no annual bargaining and no hidden fees. That is amazing. And they have a risk-free trial period with a 60 day guarantee. So you can literally try them out for 60 days and they'll give your money back if you don't like them. Huge news. That is amazing.

Visit Oxio.ca for internet from a provider that won't ever raise your prices like ever. And use the promo code at checkout.tarp. That's Oxio.xio.ca and use codeR-P at checkout to get your first month free. My name is Ryan. This is Tony. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Hello. Now, danger signs.

We're calling Sarah, who is a nurse in Oregon. Oh. It's the middle of the day for her, but she worked the night shift last night. Oh no, we're interrupting a night shift gap. Yeah. So she goes all good, but just like, no, what you're... Okay. Yeah.

We'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Let's give her a buzz. Let's give her a buzz. Hopefully we don't scare her. Sarah. I thought you were doing a Halloween joke three weeks late. No. That's more embarrassing for you that you brought up the H word.

It's Christmas now. The cobwebs come down, the Christmas tree goes up. What's up? What's up, Sarah? How you doing? Good, how are you? We're good. Now we interrupting your night shift nap.

How are you feeling? You charged back up yet? What's the vibe? Well, I actually couldn't sleep very good because I knew you guys were gonna call and I was so worried that my alarm wouldn't go off. So I'm just going to have a long night. Yeah.

That sounds brutal. Yeah, that does sound brutal. Random question, Sarah. I'm here rumors and suspicions, nothing confirmed, allegedly, allegedly. Is your hospital that you work at haunted? It is. I work in the unit where all the kids are. And we definitely have a couple little ghost children running around.

And they like to follow me. So even when I go down to the cafeteria, there will be random monitors pop on. The lights will flicker in the elevator. Pretty spooky. That has sent Tony for six, which if you're not from a cricketing nation will make no sense, but she is very- I don't fuck with that. As you know.

Yeah. Whoa. Um, well Sarah, will you approve today's episode? Absolutely. Yay! Oh, good! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Hey, this is Sarah from Oregon, and I approve this podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to a new show. Welcome to a new week. Welcome to Tony and Ryan. It's fucking Monday. Hallelujah. And guys, times are tough. Economic crisis. We're about to save you some cash.

We're about to hack you up and save you money, putting money in your pocket. You know that nothing makes me hornier than a life hack. Well, put a towel down, sweetheart, because this is going to be huge. I just think a hack. Yep. Just the way that people's brains work, that they can come up with a hack. I just think is amazing. Have you come up with these hacks? Uh, is this, is this all Ryan John? No, no, but I can share one with, I think I've shared this on before that when I

worked at the bank back in the day, yes, you know, I used to study accounting and finance and commercial laws and I had a whole career. But you worked at? A picture partners. And I worked at NAB as a small business consultant for a few years. Oh, I don't think I knew that. Oh, pay attention. Sorry, mate.

But here's something I learned at the bank. If you say the word ombudsman. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Is this insider trading? No, because have you watched Martha? I haven't watched it yet. Yeah, but insider trader will get you. Insider trader, you don't have to go to it.

It'll come to you. And that's why I need to be vigilant. No, it's not insider trading. I need to be vigilant. So I got told when we were at the bank, if someone takes us to the ombudsman, it costs like 1500 bucks, even if we go to the thing and we're right. Oh, so it costs just in legal fees and fucking whatever.

Yeah. So basically if someone calls up and says, I'll take you to the ombudsman. Just if it's under the 1500, just, just give it to him because it's even if we're right. Like it's still not like just, it's just maths. My mum took Telstra to the ombudsman once because they'd fucked up my plan and they'd taken all the data off it. So I was supposed to have like however much free data or whatever. And then the bill came and I'd paid for every megabyte of data. I used like two gig of data or something.

Because back in the day, people didn't have Wi-Fi and stuff, you know? And the bill came and it was yeah, like $1,400 or something when it's supposed to be 80. Yeah. And she was like, no, and can I say this is actually the most badass thing ever? She had cancer at the time. She called the ombudsman from her hospital bed, bald little head, and was like, no, we're not paying for that. Isn't that amazing? Isn't that the coolest thing you ever heard? What was the result? They, yeah, they ended up refunding it and fixing it all up and stuff.

Yeah. Now I love that these hacks have a little sprinkle of Karen in them. You know what I mean? But I think you've just got to lean into the Karen. I'm too old now to be worrying about that. Now this is from Anonymous because they worked in a tech company that was in the medical field

and they don't want to like out themselves as doing this. But we are going to do a little role play to demonstrate this hack. Tony doesn't know that yet. Oh no, I love it. Cause I've watched Theranos documentary. So I know all about Elizabeth Holmes. That's the actor that I, cause I'm good at acting. I don't know if you know this, but I'm actually quite good at acting.

So I'm going to take that on board the Elizabeth Holmes. Fuck, what a crazy bitch she is. So I'm going to take that on board the Elizabeth Holmes. Fuck what a crazy bitch she is. Because I worked in this field. I spent a lot of time on hold to insurance companies because they're no, no, no, you don't have to act yet. I'll tell you when to act. Okay.

Now act interested in the story. Great. And audibly for a podcast. Yes. Yes. You are good at this. It takes direction well. Yeah.

Thanks. I take stuff well. Sorry. I spent a lot of time on hold to insurance companies and we learned that if you say the F word a few times, the robots would recognize you as an angry customer and automatically switch you up the line to an operator really quickly. So you don't even have to be aggressive. You just need to say the F word and the computer goes, oh, there's three swears.

Yep. Put them through. They're angry. So she would be in her workplace full of other people and gone, fuck, fuck, fuck. Yep. Uh, yep. Uh, through to tech complaints. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Yep. It's Karen here from SGI. Oh yeah. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Okay. Thank you so much. And she said, I told you I would know when the acting was part of it. Yeah. Yeah. You knew. You knew.

And so she said other people in the workplace would like give me strange looks, but it was so worth it because it works so well every time. I wonder if that's real. So it wasn't aggressive. Like it wasn't fucking, as in saying the word fuck to a person. Yeah. Yeah. You just didn't in the queue and you're fuck, fuck, fuck. And then, oh, hello, sir. Everything all good. Huge news.

That's actually a great time. It's money because we've all been on hold before and you want to say fuck. Cause she gets so mad. She's been on hold for 20 minutes. I get it. We get it. Very annoying. Car rentals. Great hacks.

Tony hates car rentals. I do hate car rentals. Too much stress, too much admin. So much admin. I hate that they take photos of the car. Don't you trust me? Like, I just hate it. I worked at a car rental company,

and the only thing the higher-ups actually cared about was us getting a higher customer satisfaction rating. Right, okay. So when you hand the keys back in, you know, you'll usually get that email goes, Oh, how was your thing? Oh, good. You click the smiley face.

Yep. And it's fine. So they had decided as a strategy for a company, Oh, we just need to be the best at customer service. If we lose a little, a few dollars here on there on a trip, we're all about customer service, it's the only thing that matters at the moment. How do you feel about that as a strategy? Like, are you like, well, that's good.

Cause it means that you care about my experience or are you like, well, no, but you don't care about other shit now. Like, what do you think about going all in on one thing? Well, I think you have to go all in on business chat. Thank you for asking. Cause I like, well, I, I would say, I think all car rental companies are exactly the same. They all have the same cars. They all cost the same money. And if you know that one of them is nicer and easier. Yeah. Of course you're going to pick that one.

Yeah. Totally. Yeah. I'm happy with that. Thanks for your business knowledge. Thank you. Even though I'm actually the business whisperer. We would write off.

So this person worked there. Yeah. We would write off full days, free rental, give free gas, literally do anything just to get that higher. But then at that point, are you then? Regular customers would catch on, would complain about dumb shit and then literally lean in and go, Hey, I'll forget about that if you just give me a discount and I'll give you a high rating. And we just go, cool.

That might be insider trading. We would do it every single time. One time this guy was just giving us a heads up that the brake light came on. He was like, Oh, by the way, just let you know the brake lights. I'm like, Oh, next time you come in, convertible sports car free upgrade, all good free. Because I've got eight kids. Yeah. I don't want to convertible actually works for me.

Put them in their own convertible. Because again, they were just like, we are. And they at the end of the month, they go, Oh, satisfaction, 89% and they go, whoo, those guys are killing it. And cause there'd be like business people coming to town that are like, yep, I come here every week and I get a car for two days or whatever. You take care of me. I'll take care of you. You want to free up?

And they go to the point people go, can I just have an upgrade? I'll give you a high rating. And they go, yeah. Fuck, that's good. That's good. Now don't know if it's good business, but it's good for the customers. Ebooks. Now, a lot of people get the ebook of Tony's book called I Don't Need Therapy.

And otherwise I've told myself, um, now I didn't realize that you can actually, that libraries have their own apps. So you can just like borrow the ebook. Yeah. Which is, I don't really understand it. Neither. Cause if you- There must be a license, like this library has 10 ebook licenses or something like that.

But then you're just like downloading the PDF or can you only view it in the app or something? Do you know what I mean? I don't know. Because it doesn't actually- Hey, aren't you a Kindle guy? I am, but I just buy them in the store. Oh, okay. I don't know if you can rent on-

Well, there's an app called Libby, which is for library. Yeah. I learned. My sister Libby uses it quite a lot. And I said, I don't understand it. And she said, I don't think you need to. Um, I actually- And I really appreciated that. I actually didn't hear a word of that

because I'll just need to refer you to last Monday was name based coincidence chat. And I just couldn't get past that. I get coincidences. I know. I know you do. Now this seems too simple to be good, to be true. So obviously when you get it from the library, what, four weeks, three, you know,

there's a time. If you turn your device onto aeroplane mode, you can just keep the book for as long as you want. So your phones on aeroplane mode forever you can just keep the book for as long as you want. So your phone's on aeroplane mode forever? No, you kindle. But then how do you download more stuff? I'm just reading the hacks. No, no, no, but no, great question. Great question.

Cause if you, no, you just all in on one book. You just keep reading one book. How much is a kindle? Like the device. Oh, I think you can get like a hundred bucks. Okay. So more reading one book. How much is a Kindle? Like the device? Oh, I think you can get them for like a hundred bucks. Okay, so more than a book. Yeah. So yeah.

Cause what does a book cost? 30 bucks? Yeah. So an ebook is weightless. They're running this huge scam to get one free ebook. And you might as well just bought the book. Just bought the book. Yeah, I'm not sure about that. Yeah.

This is- Did you get what I mean? Yeah, no. Cause then how would you download another one? Yeah, yeah. Megan Brink is a tarpa. Hi, Megan Brink. And I'm on the Megan Brink. You will be after, I actually think this might. This is a bit of me. No, but like where's your head at? How are you feeling today? I feel all right. Cause this. I'm getting more and more nervous by the second. No, this is like, this might hit us in the fields in a good way. Oh, okay.

But Megan's actually got, yeah, it just takes a bit of a turn. So you'll hear it. I'm here for you. Megan Brink. I know this isn't related to a company, but the greatest hack in the world is realizing it only takes three seconds of insane courage to completely change your life. I always used to think of the worst case scenario, but then knowing I just needed a few seconds of courage, changed my whole life, landed me my dream job, the happiest relationship I've ever had.

And I've traveled the world just for a few seconds. I went, I'm just going to do it. And just forgot all about the negative stuff. And just a few seconds of courage, it changed my life. Also pricking a small hole in the top of a tulip helps them stay upright longer. Well tulips are my favorite flowers. So you've hit me with two gems. I like that. Just a few seconds of courage. I did that once. A few seconds of courage to ask for a pay rise. They told me to get the fuck out of their office. So it didn't work for me. But were you worse off for it?

Well, no, actually, because then I quit and I went to that job. So I was worse off for about six months. But it's all worked out all right. It's all worked out all right. Hey, this is Sarah from Oregon and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Whether renting, renewing a mortgage or considering buying a home, everybody has housing costs on their minds. For free tools and resources to help you manage your home finances, visit Canada.ca slash

it pays to know. A message from the Government of Canada. From searchlight pictures comes A Real Pain, one of the most moving and funny films of the year. Written and directed by Oscar nominated Jesse Eisenberg and starring Eisenberg and Emmy award winner Kieran Culkin, A Real Pain is a comedy about mismatched cousins who reunite for a tour through Poland to honor their beloved grandmother. The adventure takes a turn when the pair's old tensions resurface against the backdrop

of their family history. A Real Pain was one of the buzziest titles at Sundance Film Festival this year, garnering rave reviews and acclaim from both critics and audiences alike. See a real pain in theaters now. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas for this beautiful fucking Monday. It is beautiful and I don't want to get ahead of myself, but my love to see it. I found my, I found God, but my God.

Your God. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. It's actually been a big weekend for me. Okay. Yeah. I'm spiritually enlightened.

That's amazing. Yeah. And that was before I read Megan Brink's hack about the tulips. Ha! Well, should we do, we'll do this? Yeah. Then you can do, yeah, spiritually enlightened. I'm just excited to share. Like, you know, when you found, you've-

Oh, yeah. I found my thing. Can we do it now? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, sorry. Alexa van Leynen, thank you so much, Alexa. But I'll give you a clue, you'll think it's all right. Oh, well, you just spoke over Alexa's.

I'm sorry, Alexa. Something's. Alexa. Don't say, don't. Sorry, Alexa. Thank you so much for being a champion. Tapa, we couldn't do it without you. Katja Rawlings. Could do it without her. No, we couldn't. Katja, we love you. Katja on the flip side.

That's good. Bethany Edwards. Good on you, Bethany. Rihanna Beener, Mountain High, Georgia S and Anthony Welsh, thank you very much. Do you know Rihanna Beener likes Rihanna Beener? Rihanna Beener actually is about to be sworn in, I guess is like what it's called. She's an admitted solicitor and has put her hand up

to be one of our legal team on the Tony Ron podcast. Oh. So I've actually created a little bit of a list of people that are offering their services. Okay. And maybe, maybe later this week, maybe next week, some point soon, I think we might do a bit of a call out for some services and maybe we'll do like a Google form or something.

And then when we need a nurse or when we need a lawyer, we'll search up in that little bad boy and we'll get a bit of a list going. This is just live brainstorm. Yeah, I love it. This is what we need. I think we've talked about this before. Cause now we've got a witch. And this is, yeah, a resident witch.

We've got a witch. Um, we've talked about this off air before to some extent, but I think we need to take it further. Yeah. You know how most company websites have like a meet the team? Yeah. Do we have a meet the team? And it's got a million titles on it.

Yeah. And it's like, this is Tony, she co-hosts the show. This is Ryan, he co-hosts the show. This is our witch. This is our witch. If you want to sue us, fucking talk to our, this one time, I did three semesters of law at University of Texas in 1984. Ashley Boyce, who's a lawyer.

She's one of our lawyers on our legal team. Rihanna Beener, who's an admitted solicitor. We want to see you in court, deal with our boys. Yeah, exactly right. So we've got Rihanna, we've got Ash, we've got Hayden Glass, Douglas Legal. What are we missing? I mean, that's only three things.

So I think that we've got actually quite a lot more than we could get. I think a nurse would be good or a doctor so that we could just send them pictures of our bodies and be like, does this look all good to you? Like an allied health professional team. I like the WhatsApp chat where you can just send photos and go all good. Is that a real thing? That's what I'm pitching. Oh, that's a really good idea. So when I get like, like weird pimples and weird spots, I can be like, is this

like just a pimple or is this something I need to love? Yeah. Or remember when I, my itchy nipple and all of the tarpas reached out and they were like, you need to go to the doctor. And I did. And like, thank God, you know? So, um, yeah, anyway, how do we feel about a personal stylist? Personal stylist, I don't hate, but I like Sally.

Yeah, but she's a, she's not a tarpa. She's a real life person. Yeah. Yeah. Not that tarpas aren't real life people, but you know what I mean? What about an interior designer to give us ideas for the background of our set? Oh, do you not like it? I think it's looking schmico at the moment.

It's not a complaint. That's just, I'm... You need another guy. Oh, okay. No, you want another guy. We should get a guy to suggest things that doesn't get yelled at. Didn't yell.

Stop it. How did I yell just then? What I was gonna say though, is if they're doing the office, maybe they could help at home. Right, okay. This is where I was going. Is there a guy that hangs up pictures? Oh. On our blank walls?

That would be good because we've got a picture at the moment on the floor. Anyway, all in play. Okay, great. All in play. This is a live brainstorm. We will let you know what we need from you. I reckon we could set up a little Google form or something. Okay. And do people then get to say on LinkedIn that they work for us? Yes.

Resident Witch. Yes. On call witch. Yeah. On call lawyer. Yeah. On call witch. Yeah. On call lawyer. Yeah. On call doctor. I think that's good.

So are we, we're done? I think so. Yeah. Okay. We will come to you with more details soon about that. What about someone that can like feed the dogs? Do you need that? Like, do you know what I mean?

I only need it on the days that I forget. Redacted. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I mentioned the other day, we've got some, we had some tradey chat. We've just gotten a new fence.

Yep. So across the front of our house, we didn't have like any security. Yep. And we were like, you know what? It's just feeling a bit random. fence. So across the front of our house, we didn't have like any security. Yeah. And we were like, you know what, it's just feeling a bit random. And so we got this fence and gate put in. So it's like a gate that goes like, like it's got a little remote. It looks great. It looks great. Thank you. So it looks really good. And we're really, really happy with it. But like, it takes a long time to kind of do. But the first step of the whole process is that they like ripped out the existing fence that we had.

Yep. Um, so it's meant that we actually like have been rolling without a letter box for like- Right, yeah. Six weeks. Of course, because that was like built into the original and built into the- Yeah. And so no letterbox, no number. Oh, so we just haven't had a number for a while. The ultimate raw dog, which if you know me at all is like pretty loose because

I'm like pretty organized and I was like, fuck, like no one can reach us. But like, who cares? Like if it's meant to get to us, we'll get it. Like, so we just haven't had a number for ages. This is a new Tony. But it's also meant that like when we've got now Woolworth's deliveries and stuff, they call and they go, I can see a 10 and a six or whatever. Like, where are you? I'm like, I mean, your powers of deduction.

Surely you would figure out. If there's a number on either side and then one in the middle without a number, what if you had to guess, guns to your head, if you had to choose. Do you know what I mean? So I'm kind of like, surely we could all figure this out. But so anyway, um, we haven't had a letterbox, we haven't had a number and then the fence finally gets done and they put the letterbox in. So it's now again built in and it's a brand new letterbox and they go, Oh, we'll throw that in for free. And I go, Oh my God, how sick. They throw the letterbox in for free with no numbers. So like, I thought that it would come like with like 14 engraved onto it or whatever.

Nope. And so it comes and they go, it's all done. Thank you so much. Here's the last invoice. I'm like, Oh, it doesn't have a number. Okay. So we go, what we'll do, we'll just go to Bunnings. We'll just buy a number and like pop it on. We go there and they didn't like have a huge range at Bunnings. Okay. Um, that's a genuine surprise. Yeah.

They had like really big ones. Like comically, stupidly big. Like that you would put like on the front of your house, but not ones like for a letterbox. Yeah. And so we're kind of looking at them like, oh, it's not really right. Do we need a letterbox guy in house on call? That is a great idea.

Add that to our list of services that we need. So they had some black numbers, but the letterbox is black. I was like, well, that's no good because black on black obviously is not going to work. I wanted like in my mind's eye, what I thought was like a matte silver kind of one is what I had in mind. Yep. They didn't have anything like that, but we spot this like white one. And I was like, okay, yep. I think the white will work.

It's not really like exactly what I wanted, but I think this is fine. Did you consider the cricket? I actually did consider making my own. Yeah. Um, but because it's like vinyl, I was like, it maybe would like not last that long or whatever. Yeah. Yep.

Um, but no, I, I did actually, and I really appreciate you bring that up. Cause I know that you don't really understand what the cricket is. So that's a, that's a huge moment. That's great. So did I use it correctly? Yeah, you did. Cause I would like cut that out for that anyway. And so we're kind of looking at, they've got this white one.

I'm like, yep, that's fine. And so this is like yesterday, it's like a Sunday Bunnings trip. Um, anyway, and I pop it on the letterbox and we go, yep, all good. Torp's like last night is like, Oh, we just need some extra stuff for dinner, like fucking yogurt for our dinner. Yeah. And he goes, I'm going to go and grab that. He comes back. He walks into the front door, pissing his pants, like fucking losing it.

And he goes, have you been out the front? And I was like, no, like I was just inside, like finishing up dinner. And he goes, you have to come. What? inside, but finish dinner and he goes, what's when to the show. He went to the shop. Yeah. He's driving back down our street

and the glow of green on our front letter box. It wasn't a white number. It was glow in the dark. That's handy. The fact that he came back into the right house proved that it worked. You should have been concerned if he walked into the neighbor's house and gone, Tony, do you know what's going on with those neighbors? And the girl goes, who the fuck are you?

It works. I did think white was odd, but that makes sense now. Yeah. No, I just didn't even. And because we were looking at like the shape of the numbers, not the like yeah, information or whatever. Anyway. And so he goes, it looks like an alien has come on our front fence. Like, so we've got this beautiful. How do you know one hasn't?

We've got this beautiful fancy, like quite chic and modern fence and game with the trashiest fucking number on it. That is harrowing. Because isn't it? Is there lights and stuff on the fence? No. So it's just a singular glowing number. A glowing thing on the front of my, like pulsating in the fucking moonlight. Halloween was last month, mate.

It's Casper home. That's actually what it looked like, though. It was literally like Halloween vibes. And I was like, we have to take that off. Is it still up now? No, I've changed it. Cause we bought a couple for size comparison anyway. Nah, I've changed it. That's a bit of fun though, isn't it?

Oh my God. But he was pissing cause he's like, why is the front of our house like- Do you really go, do you go out much at night? Um. I guess when we get in, if he didn't get the yoga, how long might it be? Yeah, no, that's a very good point. Especially with daylight savings now. What am I going to go out at 11pm when finally the sun's gone down? But obviously it's had like a full 24 hours in the sun to like,

charge up. And then as soon as the sun's gone down, it's like, it looked like Las Vegas. Who is the neighbour across the street that used to have Orion and Pippa? No, that was my house. Who were the people across the street? Catherine. Catherine hasn't slept for days. Oh, I know. It's been like, glowing. Permeating through the, down the street.

She's like, it's daylight all year. It's like we're in Antarctica. I know. She's like. The sun hasn't set since that you put that thing out. She's like, is that like a security light you guys have got going on? Anyway, it was, I think you should keep it. Oh, no, I'm pro.

I'm all about I'm pro glow in the dark. The way that Torb's like doubled over the light is the funniest fucking thing. But you're right. Imagine if he hadn't gone out, we wouldn't have noticed for ages. I just think he needs to appreciate that he found the right house and stop laughing at your hard work and respecting that you're keeping that household alive. I appreciate that. I'm the beating heart of that house. You are the beating heart of that house. But oh my god, just like

what does that Exactly. Does people have a glow in the dark little thing? So if she goes for a run at night, you can see where she goes? No, I would never take her at night. I've considered getting Bron a glow in the dark thing. So when he's running at night, I can kind of, I think that's probably a good idea for you because you do go out at night a lot. Bron the night crawlers last night. And you should get like some glow in the dark tape for the footy as well.

So then you can see it as a... I bought a glow in the dark football on Amazon. Is that a thing? Wow. Do you want a number that you could attach to it? Cause I've got one that I've just peeled off the front of my letterbox. Maybe. Um, what did we review the other week? Orgasmatrons. Orgasmatrons.

Orgasmatrons. Review, yes. Five. Five stars. Glow in the Dark Football, no. Oh, okay. So it's got all this shiny stuff on it. And so it's like, yeah, so when the light hit it, it bounces off and I go, but there's

no light. Is it dark? Yeah. So it's reflective, not glow in the dark. Two different things. Not the same. No. Oh, I'll fucking have a word to them if you want. And the thing about the reflective things

are like this weird purpley color, which is actually quite dark. But I wonder if you did shine. But if I was shining, then I would be not playing football. At night time. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, so I'll speak to them. I'll speak to them. I've got to your I would not be playing football. At night time? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, so I'll speak to him. I'll speak to him. I'll speak to him. I've got to your love to see it. Please. I'm going to do mine and then you can tell us how you found God.

Okay, my God. Because I'm actually very excited about hearing that. I've had a big weekend. Well, this is a really amazing start the fucking blog from Elaine. Elaine says, hey, Tony and Ryan, I'm about to hit the end of a contract at my job. And while I love where I work,

I'm like a little bit comfortable and I know that I need something a bit more. What's that saying? The danger of? The enemy of a great life is a good life. There it is. This is one of my favorites. Yep.

I decided to take a chance on myself and I put in my resignation before I'd locked in my next job. So for 24 hours, I just like haven't known what was gonna to happen. It's paid off because next month I'm moving to a new city. I've just been offered my dream job and I'm making the most money I've ever made in my life.

Is it Megan Brink? No, it's Elaine. Though she might've taken a bit of- A few seconds of courage. A few seconds of courage, exactly. That's the moment where you go, I'm not sure, I'm not sure. Then you just like click send on the red and you go, it's happened. It's gone. It's gone. It's out in the universe now. That's the moment where you go, I'm not sure, I'm not sure. Then you just like click send on the red and you go,

it's happened. It's gone. It's out in the universe now. That's huge news. Congratulations. Elaine says, I knew I wanted to share it with you because there's some days where the podcast is the only thing that makes me smile.

And I'm so thankful to have it in my life. Elaine, you make me smile every day. That's really sweet, Elaine. And I'm fucking so proud of you. Yeah, fuck yeah. That is a huge. And also moving to a new city, dream job, heaps of cash. Like, oh, that's fucking awesome.

It sounds like a rom-com. It does actually. You know, that song that would be- Can I risk it all? Yeah. Acting again. I'm very good. Yes, so you found your god.

I found my god. Oh my god. What happened? Some people call me Maurice. Sorry. That was an intrusive thought. What was that? You know that song, I'm a joker, I'm a smoker.

I'm a root. Yeah. Yeah. And the part where it's like, some people call me a space cowboy, some call me a cat. And then it's like, some people call me Maurice. You know that bit of that song? No. Cool. How did you find God?

Where, if you had to pick a town, where would that song be? Wagga. Really? Yeah. Okay. What's your thing? So some people like to journal, some people like to meditate. Have you found your kind of like, you like to craft? That's sort of like a, you know.

Are you thinking about like a decompression kind of thing? Yeah. I think I cycle through things. Yes. I think that I'll like get really into something and then like it won't really hit the same way. I don't really know that I have the perfect like. So you haven't found your forever thing. I don't think so.

I think I'm getting close with the artist's way. Oh yeah. But yeah, I don't think I found my forever thing, but I'm excited to hear yours. I've tried journaling and I like it. And I like, you know, the pen touching the page. That's what I like. Yeah. It's so much nicer than that, isn't it?

Yeah. Like texting or writing. I've also found that when I have a big notepad and a Sharpie, it just hits a bit different than a small little notebook and a pen. And it suits you. Oh, it does. The big pen.

I've also in the past, I haven't for a few years, but used to like do a little bit of meditation or just, you know, those like the apps where you just listen to them for 10 minutes. The guided, yeah, that's good. But again, I've did it for a bit, sort of forgot about it, you know. I get it. But as of this weekend, I've found my forever thing and it's Matthew McConaughey. My forever thing. And it's Matthew McConaughey. Yeah, in what way? I'm on the same planet that Matt McConaughey's on

and that's not a guarantee. I think that's actually illegal to call him Matt McConaughey. That's very strange. No, because that's where we're at. I think you've got to call him Matthew. I listened to Matthew McConaughey on Two Bears with Bert Krashner and Tom Segura. Yep. And he spoke for an hour and I didn't understand or take in a single thing that he said.

Yeah. But just. And when I say on the same planet, like, that's a stretch because that guy is. Might not be. Yeah. But just knowing that Matt Mc... Just hearing him talk about fucking nothing. Yeah. Just makes me go, oh. Everything is where it's meant to be.

Everything's happening at the time it's supposed to happen. The world's turning in the direction it's supposed to be turning. I don't know what you're talking about, but I love hearing you talk. I like that. And I think if every night I went to bed with Matt McConaughey talking about fucking something, that's going to really have a big impact on my life.

I like that. Yeah. And you can just watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days as many times as you want. But what a cinematic masterpiece that is. When I saw Fool's Gold for the first time, which was on a stolen DV, like a burned DVD from a Malaysian market. Yeah. When he, when he jumped out of the boat and grabbed the hat, grabs the hat. Oh, man, 10 guys in my life. We jumped off the couch cheering. And you just think, if only I could grab the hat in my life. Yeah.

Don't you think? Well, here's the thing. You watch that and you go, that is the most far-fetched, stupid, ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my life. Terrible film. Terrible film. Terrible film. That's not a good film. I have watched it, but it's not good.

It's like they saw 10 things I hated. No? How to lose a guy in 10 days? Yeah, yeah. And they went, let's just make that movie again, but forget like a plot. And let's just like put them in less clothes. Yeah.

Like, imagine if they were wearing less. Would that make the movie even better? And it did not work. It did not work. And also, did you know that the two of them, OK, this is Ryan, Scoop, John, but it's actually Tony, Scoop, Lodge. They had a huge falling out after that film because Matthew McConaughey was going through this like Zen thing.

I don't doubt that. And refused to wear deodorant. Right. And like apparently just fucking reeked. And Kate Hudson was like, I actually can't be on set with this guy. Oh, so we're up close, we're making out, we're hugging, and he just stinks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember reading that in like a new idea or something like when that movie came out in what, 2006?

So I actually know a really great actress and I would like- 2008. I would like to give Kate Hudson some advice. I love Kate Hudson. I would go to battle for her because I also love Goldie Horn, who's her mum. I would go to battle for her. Well, because I also love Goldie Horn, who's her mum. A lot of celebrity gossip for me today. Maybe celebrity gossip is my god. Who else is named Kate Hudson?

Trick question. No one. Katy Perry. Had to change her name. Um, that is amazing. Thank you. Is it actually? Scoop John. Yeah. And she's like, oh, well, we kind of have the same name as a celeb that already exists. So you. Is it actually? Scoop John, yeah.

And she's like, oh, well, we can't have the same name as a celeb that already exists. So you have to think of something else. Well, that is actually, yeah, Catherine Elizabeth Hudson. That is so funny. Yep. Just wanted to contribute. Katy Perry suits her better. Yeah.

Isn't Katy Perry having a bit of a moment at the moment after she did the AFL Grand Final? I think she's having a bit of a moment. I think she's having a moment for the last 10 years. No, no, no, no. I think she's having a moment for the last 10 years. No, no, no. I think she's having a little bit of a prop back up, which I love for her. I've got some advice because I know a great actress and this is some advice for Kate Hudson, the original, not Katy Perry. The thing about acting is that because I learned this from my actress friend Tony Lodge.

You're acting mental. Is that the thing about acting is like you just pretend. So if he smells bad, you act like he doesn't. You pretend he doesn't. That he actually smells good. Yeah. Also you act, for want of a better word, you act like he smells good.

We've cracked it. I often think when I see an actor look like an absolute fuckhead on a talk show, because you know how actors are like, but I'm an actor. Why don't you just act like not a fuckhead for 10 minutes whilst you're on Jimmy Fallon? Do you know what's really interesting?

Why don't you act like you're not a cockhead when you're chatting to Dave Letterman? But I think that they're acting like a fuckhead for 10 minutes whilst you're on Jimmy Fallon? Do you know what's really interesting? What do you act like you're not a cockhead when you're chatting to Dave Letterman? But I think that they're acting like a cockhead because of what people have done before them. Like actors are never very earnest or very keen, which I think is such a waste of time. I've wasted so much of my life pretending not to be enthusiastic. Really? And it just did not get me anywhere. So now I'm just fucking rolling with it. I'm going to try and not like be enthusiastic. Try not not be.

So the thing about Fool's Gold being crazy. Yeah, 2008 that doesn't hold a candle to the craziness that is actual just Matthew McConaughey day to day. He's a bit of a loose unit. Yeah, but like in the best way possible. I think that if you found your soul sister in Matthew McConaughey, I think that's really beautiful. Where both our spiritual home is both Austin, Texas. Sophie, can you please see if we can reach out to Matthew McConaughey, please?

Yeah, sure. He is also a Longhorns man, like myself. What does that mean? Like the football team, Texas Longhorns. Of course, that you saw at Thanksgiving last year. Yeah, he was there. Good for me, I remember that. You remember. Yeah.

I think... You're also both devastatingly handsome. I would say devastatingly, yeah. And I just think, like I said, I listened to him on the podcast, couldn't tell you a single thing he told me. Yeah, that's fine. And they were like, how'd you feel about when this happened? And then he just started talking.

And they both sit there and go, isn't Matthew McConaughey great? Yeah. Yeah. What a guy. I love it. What a guy. Good job. I love to see that. A lot of clapping today, but I'm feeling like it's the right one.

Yeah. And so here's my three take... And so this is a new thing. Here's my three takeaways from today's show. Okay. Tony Lodge will probably be an actress. I think we can all agree with that. I'd actually love that. Might put that on my goals list manifest. Number two takeaway from today is I think Tony Lodge is an entertainment reporter. She could be the Juliana Rancic of 2025.

Who's that? Well, she was the Juliana Rancic of every year until now. Oh, no, I want to be like Nelson Aspen from Sunrise. Oh, so he's a poor man's Juliana Rancic. Oh, don't you dare say that about my mate Nelson. Juliana Rancic is you Google it. Yeah, no, no, like she's she was like the face of E! News with Ryan Seacrest for like two decades.

Oh, no, I don't even recognize her. But that's because you're scoop John and you know these things. Yeah. But as you progress in the entertainment journalism world, you'll get to know her. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I love it.

2.4 million followers on Instagram. Jiminy Jones, Juliana. That's what we're saying now. And the number one takeaway is Jiminy Jones, Juliana. That's what we're saying now. And the number one takeaway is Jiminy Jones, Juliana. What a great day. What a beautiful day. This is a great Monday.

I hope everyone has a really great week. Me too. If you're thinking, oh, things are a little bit tough. You know what it's going to turn out like? It's going to be Jiminy Jones, Juliana. Awesome. Fool's gold. No. All right, all right, all right.

Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Love you. Bye. Have a day like Matthew McConaughey would.

Love you. Bye. I hope to Matthew McConaughey your day. I hope you have a great Matthew McConaughey day. That's what I was going for. Love you. Bye. What a horse is he?

Matthew McConaughey. Oh, that coffee smells good. Can you pass me the sugar when you're finished? Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing? That's salt, not sugar. Let's get you another coffee. Feeling distracted? You're not alone. Many Canadians are finding it hard to focus with mortgage payments on their minds. If you're struggling with your payments, speak to your bank. The earlier they understand your situation, the more options and relief measures could be available to you. Learn more at Canada.ca slash it pays to know. A message from the Government of Canada. Based on Charles Yu's award-winning book, Interior Chinatown follows the story of Willis Wu,

a background character trapped in a police procedural who dreams about a world beyond Chinatown. When he inadvertently becomes a witness to a crime, Willis begins to unravel a criminal web, his family's buried history, and what it feels like to be in the spotlight. Interior Chinatown is streaming November 19th, only on Disney+.