Toni and Ryan - Jizz in the Jeep

Episode Date: October 2, 2022

AWKWARD SEXY ENCOUNTERS and rapping about A Cinderella Story. Love ya! Toni x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. We're calling Sarah. Hello. Hi, Sarah. Hello. Yeah. Hi, it's Tony. How are you? Oh my God. Hello. How are you? I'm good. Oh my God. What are you doing? Where have I caught you? I'm at breakfast with my friend Liam. It's his birthday. Oh my God. Yay. So this is so great. Okay. Because I'm calling you and your best friend Liam right, but my best friend Ryan has not fucking come to work today, so it's just me, which is such a shame. I know he's called in sick, so unfortunately you just have to talk to me today, but to make it up for you, Liam,

I'm going to sing you happy birthday, okay, in a sexy way. All right, are you ready? Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Liam. Happy birthday to you. That was beautiful. One-time performance of me singing sexy happy birthday to Liam.

Thank you so much. Well, even after I put you through all of that, will you approve this podcast? Absolutely we will. Yay! Thank you. Hey, it's Sarah. And Liam.

From Newcastle. And we approve this podcast. Welcome to the podcast. And Tony recorded that pretty while I was away and do we need some cold water in here? Yeah, you left me to my own devices. And what a device it was. Well, normally my devices need batteries.

You're my device. Oh. That's a sexy thing to say. That was a sexy thing to say. Yeah, big shout out to my friends who don't have jobs. Just out of breakfast getting loose. Yeah, no, I was having a good time. Yeah, yeah.

Coming up today, I'd say it's a brouhaha about princess movies. I do love it when you say brouhaha, so I'm on board. I'm going to say I feel like trolling is a strong word, I'm going to say I feel like trolling is a strong word, but the right word to use by some of our Patreons. Is it trolling when they're kind of right, do you think? Because I feel like trolling is like when, you know, you haven't done the wrong thing but people just like get up in arms about it. But like is it really trolling when they're like calling you out

for something that like you did do wrong? I'm just picturing in a court and it's like the person's on the stand like, but your honour, he actually is an arsehole. Yeah. And the judge is like, oh, well, fucking comment away. He deserved it. If it's true, it's not trolling, it's just facts. Yeah.

Like I wonder what the. It's just facts. What's the, yeah, what divides us from facts and. And trolling. Not facts. You're right. Jeez, that's a can of worms. Yeah.

Defamation. He said you're an absolute fucking. Well, your honour, he is. So it's not defamation. It's true. Yeah. I was just calling it what it is. Call a spade a spade.

Yeah. Call a fuckhead a fuckhead. Yeah. You know, he's like, case closed. Call a houseade. Yeah. Call a fuckhead a fuckhead. Yeah. You know, and he's like, case closed. Call a house head. Yeah. We'll get to that soon. But even though we're all adults and we're all humans,

why is it still, like, taboo to, like, to talk about sex? Oh, yeah. Like, if you go to someone's house, you wouldn't, well, you might, most people wouldn't be like, we just fucked. Okay, so. Why is that like not? Well, I guess it's because it's like private. Like I think that people would think that I'm like quite open

and honest about that. Like I obviously make dirty jokes and I'm like quite open and honest about like I'm obviously make dirty jokes and I'm disgusting whatever but I'm actually like quite like about my own are you though I I kind of am you'll drop comments though yeah except to me like off you know how what'd you do yesterday oh yeah right but like but then like when like but then when it's like talking about myself it's just like. Yeah. Like you know how it's like we should.

It's very normal. I'm the same. I would never ever like mention if something happened at home. No, you never do. No. No. Should I? No.

No. I do it if it's like going to going to get a laugh, but I would never, like, honestly be like, oh, something's like, like I'd never be, do you know what I mean? Yeah. And, again, there is no reason just because it's a private thing. It's private. But it's like the world's decided. That that's not okay.

Like if we all decided you couldn't say you went to the gym. What would people post on Instagram? Yeah, I mean, what would Instagram exist for? But it's just like we've decided you went to the gym. What would people post on Instagram? Yeah, I mean, what would Instagram exist for? Yeah. But it's just like we've decided that going to the gym is something you would go, oh, I went to the gym. And then what did you do when you got home? Nothing.

Nothing. I ate dinner and went to bed. Do you think it's the same? I feel the same way about like periods. Like you're not allowed to say to somebody like, oh, I've got my period so I'm not feeling that well. Like you're not allowed to say that to somebody. I think I've got my period so I'm not feeling that well. Like you're not allowed to say that to somebody. I think something I said to you when we first started doing the pod, and I'm a big believer in this, is that like if I've had a shit sleep or just having a bit of a day, the easiest thing to do is for me to come in and go, oh, hey, I've had a bit of a shit sleep.

I'm not feeling great today. Yeah. And then you can go, okay, cool. So when I'm a bit tired or whatever, you're not sitting there going, have I done something to fuck him off? What's going on? Have I pissed him off? Is he angry at me? You go, no.

He came in and said he's had a rough day. Yeah. And so similar when you go, oh, we can all just be honest about that. Yeah. It just makes it so much easier for everyone. And just why should it be embarrassing? It's just like one of those shitty things that, yeah, we've just decided we don't talk about.

Bella has sent through a message. Hi, Bella. God, we're just decided we don't talk about. Bella has sent through a message. Hi, Bella. God, we're really tackling some big issues today. Yeah, and she and her brother and her dad have never, what? Just you were talking about why we shouldn't talk about sex and then you were like, oh, so Bella and her dad and her brother. Well, Bella and her brother are of sex having age, but like all brothers and sisters, they would never,

ever talk to each other about. I would never, ever talk to my sister. So I've got two sisters and a brother. Yep. And I would never, ever talk to them about that, ever. Exactly. And their dad, never, ever. The brother and the dad, never.

Yeah. You just. No. Absolutely not. It's not their business and it's just, yep. So Bella said she's been single for quite a while and she met a sexy European man. Ooh.

But he was going back to Europe at the end of summer, so they're like, hey, we don't want to like – Oh, it's just a fling. And they just decided it's just a hot, sexy summer romance. Ooh. Doesn't it? Very gross one. I know.

It's incredible. So my dad and my brother, says Bella, were helping me clean my car because I'd been doing some off-roading in the Jeep. I don't know what she calls it. Going down a dirt road, you know what I'm saying? In the back door. Sorry. And then I remember that me and the sexy European man had a sexy time

in the Jeep. And suddenly she has this, like, her face goes white. Her whole body's like, oh, my God. Because their family's like, oh, you know. We'll give you a hand, Bella. We'll help each other out. Oh, you've been driving off-road? Cool.

Hey, go on, get the bucket. We'll wash the car. Yeah, it's fucking Saturday, Arvo. We'll do it. Thanks, guys. And then she just went, oh, no. Yeah. My dad opens the passenger door and out falls out a condom wrapper

that I would describe as quite full. Not just full, quite full. Oh, the condom was still, oh, so like they used the condom and then put it back in the wrapper. Was it a condom? I think it's just a condom. Either way, a full condom. Full of jizz?

Bella, that's fucked. That is actually fucked. You've got to put that in a McDonald's cup and pop that straight in the bin. In a McDonald's cup? Yeah, because everyone's got one in the car. True. But, you know, everyone's got one that they got, you know, like a naughty frozen Coke on the way home the other day.

Everyone's got an empty one. If that's what you call it. I thought my heart was going to fall out of my arsehole. I'd literally shit myself. Yeah. That's not shit, it's your heart falling out of your arsehole. Because it's not even just that it's embarrassing, like that's actually gross.

It's actually gross and it's your dad and your brother and now they're imagining their daughter and their sister. Well, have you ever, I think, I feel like we've maybe talked about this before, but have you ever had sex on the back seat of your car or on your couch or something and then someone comes over or you pick someone up in the car and you go, and it doesn't have to be like five minutes before or anything, but like you kind of think like, oh, my God,

we were doing it back there. I've boned on that. I've boned on that and someone's sitting there. Like have you ever, and you kind of go like. I actually have not thought about that, but now I just think about all the different places I've sat in your room, in your room, your house. I was like, you've never been in my room.

I've been in your room. Have you? have you yeah sniffing my knickers or something what's wrong with my knickers i think it's more the sniffing of oh sure they're all clean um yeah so it's not over that it's just like embarrassing Bella. That's actually fucked. Yeah. If I touched a condom that had been inside somebody else and had somebody else's juice in it, I would cut my hands off.

I live at home with my parents and my brother and I may never recover from this. The jokes have not stopped. Bella. At least it's jokes. I think jokes are better than no one talking to you. Same. Or just we never mentioned it every day. I think jokes are better than no one talking to you. Same. We never mentioned it every day.

Yeah, I think jokes are definitely better. I'm just imagining the dad like, oh, whoa. It's like when you see a Band-Aid in a public pool. Whoa. So when I was younger, I was dating this girl called. Is this you or Bella? Yeah, that's me. Yeah.

I was dating this girl called Megan. Hi, Megan. Did you finger on a plane? Oh, no, that was Beck. No, Beck was the backpacker that got deported. Oh, who was the one on the plane? Well, that didn't happen on the plane. But her name was Lauren and she was lovely.

Lauren, you fingered Lauren on a plane. For not bringing that up. Yeah. So you fingered Lauren on a plane. You fingered. Why stop saying the F word? It's such a graphic word. It's a good word.

And you fingered Beck and then she got deported. What did you do to Megan? Megan and I were like, we were like boyfriend and girlfriend when we were, I think in year 11 or year 12 or something. Oh. And my mate Dave, because Megan was a volleyballer, and so was my other mate Dave Delaylan. And I think I've told you that because of volleyball,

we lived all over the place. We'd always crash at each other's house and stuff. Of course, yeah. Because you're all mates and it's. Training's down that way. I'll come and stay at my place. We'd just live down the road. I love that.

So Dave come. It's after a party. And Megan and I are in my room. And Dave comes in. What were you doing? Fingering a – more than fingering. It was happening. The whole thing. Yep.

The whole thing. Yeah. The whole thing. Well, it's not that much using the term whole is yeah her whole i meant oh my god so you weren't fingering her you were penising her i fingered with it my penis you were bonering her yeah and you were stiffing and we were please don't make this up. Sorry. Actually, this is the whole point of this story.

Why is it so taboo? I react with jokes and I just can't deal with it. Okay, anyway, so you're fingering Megan with your penis in your room. And Dave comes in and we're about to go away. Dave comes in. John's like comes in. And we're about to go away on a tour like in a week or so. And there's a lot of like where we're going to stay. I can't even remember what it was.

But Dave and I were chatting about something earlier. And then he comes in and he goes, oh, Ryan, I was thinking about what you were saying. And I think I've changed my mind. And he comes and like sits on the end of the bed. And he, because it's like, you know, it's nighttime. Oh, so he couldn't see. He just thinks I'm like, you awake? And I was like, oh, yeah. Everything all right, Dave? because it's like, you know, it's night time. Oh, so he couldn't see. He just thinks I'm, he's like, you awake?

And I was like, oh yeah, everything all right, Dave? And he's like, yeah. And he comes and sits on the bed and he's like, yeah, I was thinking about what you were saying and, and, and Megan's like. You were inside her? Megan's like, what the fuck? Get rid of it. But then Dave's like, it was, I don't want to to say like it was like a full DNM.

Oh, but he's like starting to like chat to you. He's like, but it was sort of a bit too. You couldn't just tell him to fuck off and be like, bro, can you come back later like Occupado? Yeah, he was a bit like, this is really important to me and I just really need you to hear me out and I need to get you. You're such a bad friend. Your penis was in a woman while he was pouring his heart out to you.

Well, I think I'm a good person for, you know, Dave, you can trust me, mate. What's troubling you? He's like, so you know Megan on our team? LAUGHTER I don't think I've met her. Megan? Megan?

I don't know. Are you talking about Megan Markle? I don't think I've met her. So I think Dave ends up sleeping on the floor in my room. Because we had this big chat. How long for? Like five minutes, 40 minutes? 20 plus, 20, 25 minutes.

And were you inside her the whole time? Well, because at any moment I was like, oh, I'm sure he's about to go. And then he's like, oh, by the way, blah, blah, blah, I was crashing on the couch. Someone else was there. And again, there's heaps of people in the house. Everyone's just crashing. Yeah.

So he sleeps on the floor. And then in the morning he wakes up and, oh, morning. He goes, oh, Megan's sleeping next to you. And then I was like, yeah, yeah. She stayed here the whole night. And he just went, yeah. Oh. Oh.

she stayed here the whole night. And he just went, yeah. Ah. Oh. And then Dave just goes, did. And then she just goes, yep. Megan's like, I heard what you said about the jackets. Oh, my God.

It's almost like, I don't know if it's a weird example. That sounds like a slapstick comedy scene from like American Pie 6 or something. But you know how it's like if you don't know someone's name, too long's gone past to say, oh, by the way. And so after a few minutes of chat, I was like. I can't bring it up now. Yeah. A few minutes of chat.

I was like. I can't bring it up now. So anyway, the moral of this story is, hey, we're all adults. Yeah. Why is it awkward? It is, but I don't know why. And I wish it wasn't. Are you leading up to something?

Like you want us to be more honest with each other? I don't know. Like you and I? I just felt bad for Bella and wanted to share my own horror. Oh, to make her feel better. Where's Megan now? She's still in the room. Dave's still talking to her. Megan and Dave are both at my mum's house in Altham.

She's having a great time. Hey, it's Sarah and Liam from Newcastle and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tuppers over at our Patreon. If you want to check it out, the link is in our show notes as always. A few people that are already over there and hopefully people that have got their hands on a Frank Green water bottle. Yeah.

Very exciting times. Triggering times. Not for you. Sally West, thank you so much. Oh, Sally Southwest. Yeah. Maddie McKeldrew. Sorry, Maddie.

McKeldrew, I think that's right. Janzel Carlo Sonza, thank you so much. Christine Horsberg. Oh. What is that? Leanna Levings. You've got a nickname about her. Leanna Levings, thank you so much.

Olivia Day. Oh, Olivia Knight. Donovan, thank you. Karina Steele. Oh, Karina Aluminium. Jessica Horne. Oh, Jessica Horney. Darius Capri.

And Ashley Fitzgerald, thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. We fucking love to see it. And all of those people hopefully voted on the movie we're watching this week. 41% chose the Cinderella story in the princess movies category. 39% had princess diaries. So it was the closest one ever. And it got to the stage where we're texting like, oh, we're just going to have to make it.

We're going to have to call it. Usually you know within a minute. Yeah. Normally there is just like a runaway winner're just going to have to make it. We're going to have to call it. Usually, you know, within a minute. Yeah. Normally, there is just like a runaway winner. And because I have to write the rap and stuff, I'm like, we need to call it so that I can watch the movie and then write something about it. And literally, the other movies just like fucking sucked dick. Princess Diaries 2, 5%. The Princess Switch, 2%.

Ever After, 14%. Like, they just, nothing. Last week, there was a lot of anger that we didn't include the Princess Bride. Yep. So a bit of context is that last week you said Kings, Queen, Prince, Princess movies. Too broad.

Too much gold missing out. Kings and Queens. Kings and Queens. And so people were like, how did you leave the Princess Bride off? Why did you leave Princess Diaries off? That's why we created this category. But then, and I'm 99% sure that I typed the princess bride. Now, I don't know whether I typed over and deleted it when I put in other options or something fucking happened,

but I swear to God I typed it. And then- But it wasn't in there. It wasn't in there. What's another word for people who are mean? They were acting like a real Carla Conti. Morag McDougal Armstrong. Hi. Morag McDougal Armstrong. Hi, Morag McDougal Armstrong. Oh, sorry, I've mispronounced your name there, Morag. It's Carla Conti.

It's pronounced Carla Conti. Yeah. She was trolling me. How dare you miss Princess Bride again for a second time? Oh, my God. Maybe someone else should write these categories. Morag, we're doing the best that we can. Raina Riviera.

It's a shame to change your name because it's already fucking awesome. But unfortunately, it's now Carla Conti. Heidi Clark. Bully. Ryan, you've stuffed it up again. How can we trust you? People just get so bloody up in arms, don't they? Alison Maines. Alison. Entree. Yeah. Yeah. Alison hors d'oeuvres. Alison petit quoi.

I don't know what that is. Well, Alison, I'm going to desert you from our friendship because you're gone. That is hilarious. That is so funny. Bryony Irwing. Carla Conti. That is hilarious. That is so funny. Bryony Irwing. Carla Conti. Carla Conti. I'm really sorry that you copped it.

While you were sick as well, we were talking about this last week, is when all of this is going on. You weren't very well. No. I just think people are nasty. People were nasty about my episode threads last week, which we'll talk about later in the week. We're going to be talking about it.

Yep. What? No. Are we talking about that? On the feedback? Yeah, you said that. Yeah, no, we will. No, they were great.

I'm sticking up for you. I know. I'm saying that people were mean to me as well, and I'm saying it's not on. I just remembered you might love to see it for today. Oh, great. Anyway, people were not happy that we left off Princess Bride. I've never even fucking seen it.

I couldn't give a fuck. Well, I think that when I went into Bat Forest, I kind of had this. And they go, yeah, that's why you need to watch it because you haven't seen it. And I was like, that is actually a good point. And I hate to be that judge from the other episode that goes, yeah, but it's not trolling if it's true. But when we go, I haven't seen it, I don't care, and they go, the reason you don't care is because you haven't seen it,

you go, yeah, no, that is a good point actually. I would just like to bring something up here though is that then when we watch classic movies that we haven't seen before and we go, oh, it wasn't really for me, then people get fucked off anyway. Wouldn't you rather live in ignorant bliss of not knowing that Ryan and I don't like The Princess Bride? Yeah. What if we watch it and like The Princess Bride? Yeah. What if we watch it and we think it's shit?

Yeah. Then I'm going to make a rap and people are going to go, oh, why did you think that movie was shit? It was the first movie that I ever watched at the cinema or fucking, you know how people always say that. Can you like be my like, I know I'm obviously your, what's the, when you're rapping, what's the side? Hype man.

Can you give me like hype man energy and just say no to these questions? No. Well, I have to answer this question. Yes, I can. Yeah. Sorry. Does the Princess Bride have Hilary Duff in it? No.

Does it actually? Because I haven't seen it. Okay. Does the Princess Bride have Stifler's mum in it? No. Does it have Chad Michael Murray? Fuck no. And is he hot as fuck? Yeah it? Nah. Does it have Chad Michael Murray? Fuck no. And is he hot as fuck?

Yeah. Fuck you. Does it have Madeline Zima? Oh, nah. Thank you. So why don't you put your Princess Bride. Up your Princess ass. Up your Princess hide.

Because they're watching the Cinderella story and it's fucking a great movie. It is such a good movie. Yeah. There are some sad bits though, aren't there? Yeah. It's a bit of a tearjerker. It really is. Like right at the beginning, it's pretty fucking sad.

Yeah. As someone who's lost a parent, sad. Yeah. Like you're watching that and you're like, you're just a little kid and you have been left with people that like don't love you and aren't going to look after you. Like that fucking breaks my heart. It does break my heart.

But I tell you the silver lining of that, and this almost brought a tear to my eye, not a moment, but just the vibe, how loving and caring the people who work at the diner are. Oh, my God. I'd give anything to be friends with Rhonda. Same. Like what a special family they have.

What a special family. And that they all like just stay there to look after Sam. Yeah. Like Hilary Duff's character. But a bunch of people just sticking up for one another. Yeah, and that they stick up for her even though her pants are so low. Aren't her pants low in that movie? There is a lot of low pants.

Yeah, real hipster energy. Yeah, there was a lot. It's weird because you see some parts of it and it feels like, in inverted commas, now. Now, yeah. And then some things happen and you go, ooh. Ooh, like a bit of the fashion. You're like, fuck, that is early 2000s vibes.

A lot of the, you know, that real grungy, whiny pop rock. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of that kind of vibe. Yeah, I do like that though. There's a few of Hilary Duff songs in the movie as well. Yeah, and Hayley Duff that we discussed earlier. Yeah, so good. I also thought just.

A bit of the language. Like there's a bit where Chad Michael Murray is breaking up with his other girlfriend, Shelby, and she's like, anything you want to say to me you can say in front of my peeps. Remember saying peeps? Yeah, like just insert a cool young person word. Yeah. Oh, God.

So now you would say like squad or something. In front of my squad. Yeah. It's just the ultimate America teen movie. It is. Like the diner. Yeah. Oh, my dad wants me to go to USC.

Yeah, but I'm an artist. Yeah. My life's mapped out for me. It's not who I am. I'm like, I've seen this movie a hundred times. Yeah, but just with different actors. Yeah. Yeah, of varying degrees of success.

And can I just say, it's like the corniest joke of all time because Chad Michael Murray works at a car wash. Yeah. And his dad is like the king of the valley. And Hilary Duff drives into the car wash and her car's like looking a bit dirty. Yeah. Well, it's like her stepmom's car. But if you're dirt poor, oh, so that's the stepmom's car.

Yeah. Okay, right. Because I'm like, if you're dirt poor, why is dirt poor people have to get a car wash every second day? No, no, no. It's the mum's car. So her mum is like, my car needs to be taken into the thing. Gotcha.

That makes a lot more sense because I was like, sure, priorities, babe. Yes. Anyway, so she drives in and he goes, oh, you need a wax. Yeah. And she's like, excuse me? And I was just like, could you imagine how proud the writer, when he wrote that line, he was like, I fucking nailed this. And do you reckon Hilary Duff was a just like, could you imagine how proud the writer when he wrote that line? He was like,

I fucking nailed this. And do you reckon Hilary Duff was a bit like, oh, do we have to have that line in? Hilary Duff's manager is on the phone. She's like, no, we're not fucking. It's Hilary Duff, not Hilary Muff. Hilary Fluff.

Hil Harry Hilary Fluff. Hil Hairy Duff. Hil Hairy Muff. Hilary Duff is hot as fuck. I actually cannot deal with how good looking she is. She is. You know how a few weeks ago I asked you who's your, like, top three crushes? Yeah, yeah, and you said Hilary Duff for you.

When I was younger, it was Hilary Duff. Yeah. And then I like, you know how I like a lot of, she'd be like child star category, right? Definitely. Yeah, from being in Lizzie McGuire and Casper Meets Wendy. Yeah, I feel like it's really tricky for child stars growing up. A hundred percent. A lot of them, you know, they find it hard to adjust. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like it's really tricky for child stars growing up. 100%.

A lot of them, you know, they find it hard to adjust. But then you see Hilary Duff now, it just seems like such a chiller. I mean, I do think she had some rough years. Yeah, but like she's sort of come back around and figured herself out. Not Miley Cyrus. Yeah. Like she's thriving now. It wasn't for a bit, but thriving now.

And now when I see Hilary Duff, I'm just like, mate, you are the greatest. Some people can't have it all. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. And it's you, babe. I fucking love Hilary Duff so much. She just looks like she'd be so nice as well.

She's got chickens in the backyard at her house. Oh, she does. Does that just say something about a person? I reckon. I personally hate chickens. Oh. Because at the Royal Show when I was a kid, my dad told me that if I put my finger in the cage, it wouldn't bite me.

So I did and it did bite me. I think that's more on your dad. Yeah, but like, you know, so I'm not a chicken guy. Okay. I'll eat it. I've seen you. I've sat with you for a 200 nugget challenge. Should we make some chicken wings again? Remember how we did that the other day? That was so good. I haven't stopped thinking about them. I was going to come over and make some for you for the 200 nugget challenge. Should we make some chicken wings again? Remember how we did that the other day?

That was so good. I haven't stopped thinking about them. I was going to come over and make some for you for the AFL. I know. And you didn't. No, you said I'll be there in the morning and you didn't come over. I didn't. You actually wanted me to come around?

Well, you said you were going to, but then you didn't. I was like, that's just so Ryan. Because Torbs was like, oh, what time is Ryan coming? And I was like, oh, he won't come. Fuck, he did not say that. Call him. Are you kidding me? No.

Can I be honest for a second? Yep. I thought that I was like maybe intruding. On what? I didn't want to like, you know. No, you didn't. You just didn't want to come. I honestly did.

No, because I knew that you would cancel anyway. That's what you did. You even cancelled on coming to work last week. What's in the wrap for? Okay. All right. Would you. What's in the wrap for... Okay. Alright. Would you like me to do the wrap? You're getting a bad wrap at the moment. Yeah, I'm so hungry for chicken wings

though. I mean, who's not? Yeah, that's a fucking fair slide there. Okay, are we ready? T-Lodge, Cinderella Story, 2022. Here we go. Sam lost her dad in a bad earthquake. Her step-mum seems like a real snake.

She wants to go to Princeton, you know, talking to a boy. It's her secret joy. What will happen when Austin finds out that Chad Michael Mary, ooh, meow, wished Sam's dad had have got a divorce? There's a happy ending to this story, of course. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pew, pew, pew, meow. Wish Sam's dad had have got a divorce. There's a happy ending to this story, of course. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What I like about it, which is what I think Hollywood should adapt, is they just set up all the bad stuff and it just ends with one single line that says, but there's a happy ending. But it was all good. So all good. It was all good. Don't worry about it. And then she's like, oh, yeah, we there's a happy ending. But it was all good. So all good. It was all good. Don't worry about it. And then she's like, oh, yeah, we went to Princeton together

and they drive off into the sunset. That's all good. It is like so good when they drive in that convertible. Oh, yeah. She's got like that blue Mustang. Yeah. Fuck. What a great fucking movie.

What are they doing now? Who? Like the characters. The characters. Oh, they're divorced. Does he go on to be a great writer? They're divorced. Because I feel like writing's a tough biz.

It is, I reckon. Yeah. You don't get paid very much unless you're like Brene Brown or something. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. Is he Brene Brown now? Is that where that went? Do you reckon?

I reckon he ended up being. It's weird because, you know, one Trey Hill, he's a writer in that as well. Was a writer a thing in the 90s that that was like the cool mystique of like, oh, he's like artistic, man. He's a writer in that as well. Was a writer a thing in the 90s that that was like the cool mystique of like, oh, he's like artistic, man. He's a writer. A writer or an architect. Yeah. An architect was the other one that was like, oh, I'd love to meet a handsome architect.

Like that just feels like that. Yeah, it does. And so because of that, there was a few boys I went to school with that were like, I want to be an architect because it'll help me get girls. I feel like your desire to be an architect should be driven off your passion for houses. Yeah, or whatever. Yeah.

Yeah. It seems like a- But slaying bitches is also- It's a big swing to pick up a girl. Yeah. Just tell them that you're an architect in a bar. Yeah. That you don't have to be one.

Yeah. You could say, I'm studying architecture, but you've done one semester and that's enough. Yeah, I'm studying architecture. And then was she going to be a writer? Also, how funny is using AOL? Oh, my God, LOL. LOL, ASL.

28, female. It did actually remind me of how that's how you and who was your boyfriend in high school? Robert Pattinson. Yeah, that's how you guys started. your boyfriend in high school? Robert Pattinson. Yeah, that's how you guys started. Were you AOL or MSN? That was MSN. Oh, my mistake.

Yeah. But same kind of vibes. Yeah. Oh, actually, sorry. I know we've already done the rap, but someone just fucked me right off. Oh, yeah. About this movie. And I love this movie, but I just couldn't get past this thing.

It is such a good movie. I wish I had the energy that Sam has. Do you think I could ever be that person? You are that person. I'm not that cool. She's just, she's got it going on. I can't get past, and this same concept happens in many movies. Yep.

That when they put a mask on that's like the size of a 20 cent coin. Yeah. They go, who is the girl under the mask? Yeah. It's pretty fucking obvious who it is. Yeah. Is anyone going to address this? You literally just talked to her 20 minutes earlier at the diner.

I'm pretty sure that you'd recognise her. Yeah, she's not wearing a house or a wall. Or invisible. Yeah, she is wearing a small mask and you can still see her nose, mouth, cheeks, her hair. Hear her voice. Her smell. Like people have a smell.

A scent. Like I just, I get the like the symbolism of being like she's invisible. Like no one even, like she, you know, only a portion of her face is covered and she's such a nobody that no one knows who she is. Like I get it. But, fucking turn it up. Turn it up. Like, no, I totally agree with you. All right, things you love to see.

I have a lovely story for my love to see it. I'm sure that everybody's seen it by now, but I really wanted to share it because it's very, very special. Did you see a post from Jonah in our Facebook group last week? Jonah posted a long, beautiful post, and I think we might share the screenshot again. I won't read the whole thing, but basically the TLDR that Jonah put in the post was,

went through hell and back the past four months, but as of today, I'm cancer-free thanks to Tony and Ryan. Yeah, we are actually surgeons on the side. I mean, sure, the chemo helped, but, like, it was the top. Be real. I disagree. I don't think the chemo had much to do with it. And Jonah kind of goes on to say, I don't want to butcher Jonah's words,

but he goes on to say the past four months have been absolutely fucked going through chemo for a really rare and aggressive cancer. And, you know, it was just going through. And I have been through like going through chemo with like two people that I love and are very, very close to me. And so I know like how hard that is. And it's just so taxing on your body. And fuck, like, I'm not saying anything profound here, but it's really fucked. Like, I'm not saying anything profound here, but it's really fucked.

And to know that we could have been by Jonah's side, well, in Jonah's ears, I guess, while this was going on, and the post of Jonah is a massive smile on his face. He's like, little bald head, his little chemo bald head, and a tear in his eye just saying how happy he is to be cancer-free and that we were such a bright light for him when he was going through. Good on you, Joanna. And I love that everyone else getting around him in the group as well. So special.

And I think just to know that, like, this fucking hot garbage podcast could bring someone so much joy. It brings us so much joy. But to know that it fucking is holding the hand of people when they're going through a tough time is just fucked and so special. Like, brings a tear to my eye, honestly. Would you suggest that if, heaven forbid, but someone found out they had cancer soon and the doctor said, we recommend chemo, would you then say you'd recommend not doing chemo

and just listening to the podcast? Yeah. Is that what you're saying? We are not spreading misinformation here. Science is very important. I've done my research. All I'm saying, I've read from Jonah. I've seen online.

Science is very important. We need to listen to doctors. In his words, it was because of us. Okay. Are you calling him a liar? This is backfired, I'll be honest. Are you calling him a liar? No, you've heard it first.

There's some great health information. So listen to your doctors, but maybe pop us on in the background as well. Yeah, okay, righto. But you fucking love to say that. Megan Finger has sent a tweet. Oh, is that Megan that you were fingering with your penis? Different Megan. Oh, wow.

I'll find that hard to believe. I'll tell you Megan's last name off air and you'll fucking lose it. Megan Finger has sent a tweet about starting out at Central Washington University. Congratulations, you're starting at university. Awesome. Uni's the best. It's so good. I loved being at uni.

So when you start, you're doing all your admin. She's just got her email address. And you know how some places would be like tony.lodge at Melbourne Uni or it'd be like lodge L, sorry, lodge T or whatever. So at Central Washington University, it goes last name and the first two letters of your first name. So you would be lodgeTO at cwu.edu. What is Megan Finger's email address?

Finger me. Have a look. Finger me. Oh, my God. And it's her username for the next four years. Finger me. Fucking hell. Megan.

Oh, my God. As if the, I get that all of these things are automated now, right? Yeah. But as if, you know, like the... Any red flags? Yeah. Like, surely there would be, like, a clerk that would be overseeing that stuff would go, let's put the third, like, finger Meg.

Oh, that's all kind of bad. I'm trying to think. Finger Megan? That's still bad. Yeah, it's still bad. Yeah, you already did. Finger Megan with your penis. M Finger?

Oh, my finger. Should we have sex? Finger. Finger. Yeah, just the one. Maybe it just occurred to me through all your examples that still didn't work that maybe just having the last name Finger is going to make your life hard. Yeah.

See what I mean? I worked with a girl and her last name was Cock. And so when she would try and send, like, a professional email, it would actually get blocked by spam. Of course. Like, because people would be like, oh, that's obviously, like, a joke email address or whatever. So all of her corporate stuff had to be like her middle name as her last.

I'd be like yours. But yeah, and she would go, oh, it actually sucks because I'm comfortable with it. Like, it's my last name. Like, I don't, you know. But she would then have to like adjust all of her stuff to be like with her middle name. Did she get married and was like begging to change it? So when I worked with her, we were probably like only 20 or something. So she, you know, far away from getting married or whatever.

But yeah, she was real comfortable with it. But she was like, but every time I start a new job, my stuff all gets blocked. Have I told you? Blocked, I guess. Have I told you about my friend Trevor Stickadick in my arse? No, I can't believe this has never come up. Well, Trevor Stickadick in my arse is obviously not overly thrilled about his name.

Yeah, oh my God. So we've got to change. You know what we've got to change to? What? Sam Stickadick in my arse. You know who we've got to change to? What? Sam, stick a dick in my house.

I mean, Trevor's just a mouthful, isn't he? Anyway, thank you so much, Lizzie. This is, yeah. You know, I've always thought about, like, is there a follow-up to Megan Finger's story? And, of course, we can find out by emailing her. Oh, my God. Oh, have we doxxed her?

She doxxed herself when she tweeted it. Oh, I thought it was a listener. Oh, she tweeted it. Oh, that's fucking, that's far and away. That's fine. Yeah. Finger me. Yeah.

Finger anyone. Yeah, have a great day. You know what? That won't ruin your dinner. But it will make your heart. Have you ever had a bad day that included a finger? Oh. You know how you said the other day, boom, you've been Tony lodged? Yeah, you've been Tony'd.

Megan Finger just drops a zinger and she's like, you've been fingered. Cuff it. Megan Finger actually changed her name. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Megan Pfister? She changed it to Megan Sticker Ticker. She got married to Travis.

Trevor and fucking whatever his name is. The thing is, is that when people are meeting Megan, she goes, I'm Megan Finger. And they go, Megan Finger? I'm like... After that marriage, she ended up marrying another guy called Carl my arsehole. But they hyphenated the name. Megan, finger my arsehole.

Megan, finger my arsehole. And that's why you should never hyphenate names. Yeah, a double barrel. Two fingers. That's when she turned up to places with her sister. Oh, a couple of fingers turned up. He just did a threesome. Finger me and my sister.

What? Her sister's name is Ussalass. So her finger's finger is Ussler. So her fingers finger me. Finger us. This guy really wanted to hook up with Samantha Root. Yeah. But he had to settle for a finger. Are we still on? Yeah. When did we stop recording? Are we still on?

Yeah. When did we stop recording? Are we still going? This is still happening, yeah. We love to see that, don't you? You do love to see that. Yeah. After she gets married, she'll be a finger penis. Megan.

Megan. I'm so embarrassed. She's waiting till marriage. Is that what you were saying? So before marriage, she's just Megan Finger. Now she's Megan Penis. See you tomorrow for things you can say in the bedroom and also in the bedroom.

And I dare say Megan will make an appearance. Meow. Love you, bye.