Toni and Ryan - Jumping on the bandwagon

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

WE'RE ON THE BANDWAGON!!! And we are invited (maybe) to a party (maybe) WHO KNOWS! Love you x [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Hello, good morning. Hello. How are you? This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. My name is Ryan and we are calling Caitlin from Cranbourne. Oh, me mate-lan, Caitlin. From Cranny.

They always call it Crimeburn, don't they? Say that to her. People from Cranbourne. See if she's heard it before. Good morning. Oh, Caitlin, how is Crimeburn going this morning? It's my name which one you'd go with. I said say this to Kaelin.

I bet she's never heard it and she'll love it. And I didn't. I just backed it in and you hate it. Sorry. I mean, I've only lived here for 12 months. Where were you from before that? Dandenong. Oh, Climdenong!

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Got carried away. Caitlin, sorry for harassing you this morning, but will you approve the podcast? No, not after this. Do you know what just happened?

No way! I still will. I will approve the podcast. Oh, thank God. Yeah, great compromise. Thank you. It's Caitlin from Cran God. Yeah, great compromise. Thank you. It's Caitlin from Cranbourne in Melbourne and I approve this podcast. All right, welcome to a video show.

Video show. You can also watch this in the Spotify app or on your smart TV. You can cast it. All right, welcome to a video show. Video show. You can also watch this in the Spotify app or on your smart TV. You can cast it. You can cast it. And for those watching, you can see that we are wearing our Australia scarves and hats because we are officially on the bandwagon with the Tillys with the Women's World Cup. Feels right. Feels right.

Oh, sorry. You do look good in a scarf. Thanks. Have you been to one of the games at the MCG? Ah, no, I haven't. Ever been to the MCG? I, um, no, but I did watch avidly on my TV. And you'll remember that I sent you a message with an update about Sam Kerr's injury.

Yeah. You know, out for two games, I only play three. What a shame. Yeah. Well, I mean, they're going to win through, so we're all good. Yeah, but like, imagine. She's back, babe. Imagine.

I know a lot about soccer. Apparently some people get real fucked off when you call it soccer. Football. I know a lot about football. But it's weird because in Australia, football obviously is like AFL. Yeah. Well, in some other places it's like rugby. But AFL, so AFL's like footy

You probably wouldn't Do people call football footy? Like soccer? I don't know, I don't think so But in America they call it football And they don't use their feet They throw it and catch it And it's called football for some reason

Do they not kick in? Oh, like maybe three times a game Oh I'm not on their bandwagon I'm on this one So we are on the Tilly's bandwagon And I asked people in our Patreon What have

Oh no it was in the Facebook group What bandwagon they've jumped on as well Because we How many soccer games Have you been to in your life Two weeks ago Or watched on TV I watched one during the Olympics

I think Olympics Do they play soccer at the Olympics Yeah but it's Like under 23s or something Yeah I watched the Aussie soccer soccer at the Olympics? Yeah, but it's like under 23s or something. Yeah, I watched the Aussie soccer game during the Olympics. Okay. I'm pretty sure.

Or maybe it was something else on at the same time. Are you talking about the Men's World Cup maybe? No, no, no. I watched like a Sam Kerr game. Oh, no, yeah, they were at the Olympics. Sorry. Yeah, okay. Thank you.

Pace to be curious. See, I backed that in because I knew that. This is the hat. Is it affecting you at all? Could I take the hat off? Is it affecting your personality? It's affecting my fringe, which is where all my power is coming from at present. Okay.

So would that be okay? Yeah, because you're all blocked up. Yeah. Okay. Now I can create freely. I've asked Harper's. I'm sorry. You've taken a call, mate.

Taken a call. Nah, just fixing this up. All good. See, fixed. Now we're fine. I asked Tarpers what they've jumped on the bandwagon for because we're Tilly's fans now. And also because we are famous bandwagoners, you and I.

Well, you weren't a Taylor Swift fan until you got in the queue for Taylor Swift tickets. Then you got real competitive and suddenly you're a fan. Yeah, and I've listened to nothing but Taylor Swift since then except then like two weeks ago I went to the Lizzo concert and now I've listened to nothing but Taylor Swift since then except then like two weeks ago I went to the Lizzo concert and now I've listened to nothing but Lizzo. Didn't really think I liked Lizzo before. Like, liked her fine

but wouldn't consider myself like a big fan. And now I'm a huge fan. I love her. Hannah, who listens to the podcast, she got, in her words, dragged along to a Harry Styles concert because her sister didn dragged along to a Harry Styles concert because her sister didn't want to go alone.

She's like, yeah, righto. Yeah, I got dragged along, paid $700 for the ticket. Hannah said, after one night, I am now his biggest fan. It changed my whole life. Listened to his music all day long. I even follow his mum on Instagram. Oh, okay. That's full commitment.

That is full commitment. Full commitment. I rate that, though, because I think that sometimes if you have, same with me and Lizzo, you have that night and you just get the vibe and the connection. I get it now. You fucking understand the hype. I think that's a great bandwagon to jump on. This might be a bit too close to home for us, Tony.

Andrea. Hi, Andrea. Says, I feel like I'm just days away from jumping on the Crocs bandwagon. Oh, I've been on the precipice of the Crocs bandwagon, I'd say, for about four months. I've been on the precipice for ages. Did she use the word precipice? No, but she said I've been.

I was like, what are the odds of that? I just thought it was poetic. It was. She said I've been so-so for ages, like thinking about it either way. And, like, because you yo-yo back and forward and you go,, I've been so-so for ages. Like thinking about it either way, like not sure. Because you yo-yo back and forward and you go, will I wear them? Oh, maybe not. Yeah.

Andrea says, the Barbie collaboration with the new movie has pushed me over the edge. Croc tapas, what do you reckon? Yeah. Ask Andrea. I rate a croc. I'd never even worn one until during the marathon, our 50-hour live stream.

Producer Cam had a pair there and I needed to run outside and grab something and I just slipped those on next to the door and they were really comfortable. Well, yeah, I've never really worn them either, but apparently they're comfy apps. When they don't look that comfortable, they look like they'd be quite hard, but they're quite spongy. So are you, like Andrea, are you about to fall into the croc world? If I get an Apple Watch, you should get crocs. Oh, that's good.

I feel like I was the same with Birkenstocks back in the day when they were just kind of coming up. I was like, I think I'll get a pair of those, and I did. And I've got Birks and I wear them like a bit. I also have Doc Martens sandals, which are like the comfiest sandal like I've ever worn in my life. They're awesome. So do I need a croc as like is a croc in the rotation too many sandals?

Well, you bought me those Birks and I wear them every day because they're like with some fluffy socks around the house, slip on and off if I'm going out the back with Bron or something. You just fucking chuck them on. Maybe this is the thing is that to jump on a bandwagon, it's easier if someone else is like cuts the cord for you and does it. Do you want me to buy you some Crocs? Is what I'm hearing.

Oh, if only there was someone else in the room who was also wearing a Tilly scarf who could just buy me a pair. Someone else could just do me some. Oh, there's probably some Tilly's crocs, like some green and gold ones. That's bandwagon energy. Or should I get- That's two bandwagons in one. Do you know what the great thing is about crocs?

Is that I'll just buy a plain colour, like a bone croc was the colour that I was looking at. And then whatever bandwagon I'm on that week- Giblets. Gibbets. Yeah. Get the right gibbets. Get the Tilly's gibbets when I'm in the mood. Get the Harry Styles gibbets. Get the Lizzo gibbets when I'm at that week. Giblets. Gibbets. Yeah, get the right giblets. Get the Tilly's gibbets when I'm in the mood. Get the Harry Styles gibbets.

Get the Lizzo gibbets when I'm at the concert. And then when I'm off to, you know, Taylor Swift concert, if I ever fucking get tickets, I get the gibbets for Taylor Swift. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Good idea. Gina says, I hated how much every parent just banged on about how good Bluey is, but I watched one minute of it with my toddler and now I am obsessed.

I'm on the Bluey bandwagon. A bandwagon you will never regret. Let's get some Bluey giblets as well. Such a good show. Cam has podcasts to produce. He's not your personal giblet purchaser. Get up. Get up.

I watched my first episode of Bluey because Mabel's vision has, like, improved heaps. So she now can, like, see colours and shapes and movement. And the movement. Yeah. So she's loving watching all this stuff and I'm loving it too. Bridget cried twice in the first episode and within the first minute. I'm not surprised.

It's a beautiful show. It's, like, really lovely. Don't you think it's also really nice, as silly maybe as this sounds, because we grew up with he heaps of like american cartoons like there wasn't a lot of like australian shows and there's something really beautiful there's something really beautiful about like hearing our accent and like our australianisms like on a show that is like worldwide now there's also also a show on, I don't know if it's Netflix or ABC Ivy called, I think it's Mort and Beep or Mork and Beep.

Yeah. And it's made in Adelaide. And again, the Australian accents. I think it's just like the success of Bluey obviously is insane. They're on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Yeah, it's just crazy. But, yeah, there's something so special about hearing people talk the way that we talk.

I don't know. It's just real cool. We never had, like, growing up you watched Sesame Street, it's all American, and, like, you love it. You just get used to it. We've been watching Sesame Street at home. They get so many celebrities. Oh, yeah.

I had no idea. I wouldn't fucking say no, would you? Ariana Grande was on recently. They had Joe Biden's wife teach him stuff. Oh, my God. That's cool. I saw Hailee Steinfeld singing. I was just listening to a Hailee Steinfeld song yesterday.

Was it Starving? Because that's a hot song. I actually don't. I'll see if I saved it because I really want to say what song it was. That was a hot song. Loved myself. I'm like that. I love myself, but I don't need anybody else.

I don't know. So you know how she's a really good singer? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I see where this is going. Chloe. Oh, sorry.

Hailee Steinfeld on the bandwagon. Yeah. Part of this as well. Oh, you're on her bandwagon. Yeah. I love her as well. Chloe. Chloe's. Am I right? Oh, I got told off. What does that mean? well. Chloe. Chloe's.

Am I right? Oh, I got told off. What does that mean? Because all Chloe's are crazy. That is a horrible thing to say. Well, I said that on the live stream and then a nice Chloe messaged and said, I'm not crazy. And I said, okay, most Chloe's.

And you also have said some sweeping statements about Brianna's as well. That's different. When I see a Brianna pop up in the comments of the Tony and Ryan Facebook group, I go, oh, there's a Brianna in as well. That's different. When I see a Brianna pop up in the comments of the Tony and Ryan Facebook group, I go, oh, there's a Brianna in the comments, guys. Fucking everyone go around because that's where the crazy shit comes from. This Chloe, I don't know if she's crazy or not yet to be determined. Chloe says, I used to be so against air fryers. I was like, wow, everyone is so lazy and no one cooks real food anymore.

And now I am figuratively eating my own words and will probably never use my oven or grill ever again. I rate the air fryer. I also got on the bandwagon of an air fryer very early during lockdown when people were kind of, I was working at Jason PJ at the time and we did like an air fryer live stream where like Jace, PJ and I were all at our own houses with an air fryer and we're like cooking something and we went live to like our Facebook group or something.

Does that mean Kiss 101.1 paid for the air fryer? No, I had to buy my own. Really? I was a lowly producer. Oh, my God. That is, even for them, some of the stingiest shit I've ever heard. Uh-huh. Yeah, I bought my own air fryer.

They got like these. They actually got these really nice Phillips like proper. You know the one with the rose gold handle that you pull it out and it's got like the dial on it? They got that. I got the Kmart one that you fucking have to like shove in and out. It's like a bad porno. Sorry, don't know where that came from.

That's what she said, isn't that bad porno. Sorry, don't know where that came from. That's what she said, isn't that bad porno? Sorry. You know how before you were like, maybe someone needs to buy it for me? Oh, yeah. And because work said you have to get one, you just did. Oh, yeah. Maybe that's the, like, you need like a, not a nudge, but like a push. Yeah.

Like a reason, like a now. Don't you think it's- Because they're not early adopters. So when you're like, like Oh we got one straight away I was like That's not Tony Energy It isn't It isn't

I think it's a little bit like How if you said to me You need to be at the office At 4am I'd be like Okay Like I wouldn't even question that But then if someone's like

Cool do you want to wake up At 4am to go and exercise I'd be like No I probably can't I don't think I'm available Ashley says I'm on the bandwagon with electric scooters. I just love how convenient it is.

Please don't tell us. Well, Ashley. Yeah, Ryan would love to know what the convenience is like of an electric scooter. They're only convenient when they haven't been stolen by yous at Vic Garden Shopping Centre. I would love to have the convenience of a scooter, and I did until it was stolen by youth at

Vic Garden Shopping Centre. Really appreciate that Ashley. Thank you for bringing that up. I'm glad you're all having a good time. Ashley's having a great time. Tony, do you have a scooter? Do you need to simmer down? Are you okay? Do you need to have a little sit down? Don't say simmer. I had

butter chicken two nights ago and I can't get it off my mind. What was I doing? I was getting angry about something. Oh, the scooter! So I love my electric scooter. I also love, they are now legal in Victoria. Are they? Yeah, they keep that quiet. Yeah, but it's not legal to just take someone else's

from Vic Garden Shopping Centre. Yeah, no. I mean, you did leave it out there, like, unlocked. I'm not saying, like, because if you just see. Are you victim blaming? No. Are you victim blaming? If you let me finish.

Are you saying it's my fault? Sorry, I know that you're upset. Would you like a moment? Okay. If you see a bank open, do you walk in and rob the bank? Absolutely not. But some people do. And, like, I think that it's best to get ahead of people that would be,

what do they call it? Proceeds from crime. No. Proceeds from crime. What the fuck? It's not Chappelle Corby writing a book. Robbers? Opportunists?

Opportunistic. Yeah. You have to assume that people are cunts. Sorry, everyone. How are you doing. Sorry, everyone. That you did. Sorry, everyone. Yeah, I'm happy for you, Ash Solly. Yeah, good on you, Ash.

Oh, Ash! Every time I talk about Ash Solly, you both say, oh, Ash! Ash, who's been to prison? Who's a boy, not a girl? I wrongly gendered them when I first talked about Ash on the podcast. So hang on. You're saying someone who's done time miraculously got a scooter around the same time I lost one?

You're lucky we're friends with Ash. Okay. I'll see you in a second. Bye. Back to the big house, bud. No, Ash is doing really well. That's some dark humour right there. Fuck me.

We do know Ash. We know Ash. We know Ash. Let's maybe. Okay. Let's move right along. Let's some dark humour right there. Fuck me. We do know Ash. We know Ash. We know Ash. Let's maybe. Right. Okay. Let's move right along. Let's move right along.

Courtney Black. Here we go, Courtney. Bring us home. What are you on the bandwagon for? I jumped on the Tony and Ryan bandwagon while you were doing the 50-hour live stream. My guys had you playing all weekend and I kind of knew that she had some podcast she liked. But, you know, I just wasn't in my wheelhouse because I wasn't a podcast guy. But because it was on the TV for the whole weekend, by the time the thing ended, I was like, you know what?

I'm in. I'm on the bandwagon. I like that. So, Courtney Black, welcome. Jump on, sweetheart. Welcome on the bandwagon. Get a Bugs to you. Tony just hit herself in the mouth with a scarf. Should we get a Tony Ryan scarf?

Yes. Did I pitch that earlier? I don't think so. Did I pitch that? Yeah. Or maybe I pitched a beanie. No, I think we said wouldn't it be cool if it was like. But then is wearing a scarf to a sports game like an Australian thing?

Oh, is it? No, I think it's a thing. Scarves. Scarves. Write it down. Write it down. Write it down. It's down. Write it down. It's Caitlin from Cranbourne in Melbourne,

and you're listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast. A massive shout-out to a few of our champions from the Patreon. Amy Gillespie, good on you. Thanks, Ames. Brittany Lewin, love to see you. Lauren Dove. Oh, I use Dove deodorant. Just So Divine, Lauren Dove.

I use Lauren. Oh. Christopher McNee. I regret that. Yeah, sorry. Good on you, Chris. Thank you, mate. You can sit on my McNee.

Oh. Yeah, sorry. Good on you, Chris. Thank you, mate. You can sit on my McNay. We forgot to mention earlier that during the week, Tony did a live stream on Patreon and actually made a Tony and Ryan soccer ball with our silhouettes on there with the cricket. So it's got our – or my soccer.

Sport chat. Yeah, it's got our faces on it. I'm really proud of it, actually. It was cool. And I did that on our Patreon, so all of the exclusive and champion tarpers got to watch me talk shit for an hour and a half. I did craft. I was one of them.

Trolling in the comments. Good time. People liked it, though. Oh, speaking. I really enjoy doing live streams. I think I'm going to set myself up a Twitch account or just keep doing it to the people that already enjoy it. You keep saying that and I go, yeah, like you've got the technology. It's already there.

Should I just do it in there, into Patreon? Well, you already are. Yeah, I'll do that. Yeah. Write that down. Good call. So today is a very special day for me. My nephew, Tyler, is 18 today.

Oh, congratulations. Happy birthday, Tyler. And you've, I mean, his whole life, right? Yep. So he was the first like grandchild and niece and nephew of our whole family, like both sides. So when he was born, I think I was like 11 or 12 because my brother is a lot older than me.

Yep. And so when he was born, I was like. A child? But like old enough to remember everything. It's not as if I was four and I don't really. Like I remember her going into labour. I remember my mum texting me at school being like, her waters have broken.

I like very vividly remember like the day that he was born. And I remember like he was the first baby I'd ever known. So I don't have any younger siblings. So he was the first kid that I ever, the first nappy I ever changed, the first baby I ever fed. It's a beautiful story. Does this sound like, were they using you for like? Free child labour.

Free child labour? Free child labour. It's the first floor I scrubbed. Yeah. The first dinner I cooked. Changing nappies is a. And so I would always help and like he would come and stay. Free babysitting, yep. Free babysitting, yep. So like we've like mum and dad at our house.

So like if they were going, my brother was going out, like, he would stay with us and he loved staying with us. I bet he did. It was just the best. And just after I got my licence, so I would have been 18, I got my driver's licence and I took Tyler to the Royal Show. Oh. And it was just the two of us.

And I, like, took him and we walked around and played games and bought show bags. And they let you alone with their child? Yeah, I'm really good with kids. Holy shit. And how did you feel? Oh, I was so nervous, shitting myself the whole time. But surely there was like as well as that, like this pride of like,

I'm a grown-up, I'm taking my nephew to this show and like look at me go. You driving the Audi? I was, no, I had a Hyundai Getz, a two-door, a red two-door Hyundai Getz. Gets you to the Royal Show. Right, and gets you back, gets you from A to B. Anyway, that should have been the official slogan of Getz because that's really good. And so I, like, he's actually in my book a lot.

Like, I talk about him in my book a lot. Yeah, the Tyler to Ryan ratio is a bit. And I think the other thing is that like when I took him to the Royal Show, I was like the cool aunt because he was like my aunt. So he calls me Toddy. Well, my whole family does now. But he goes, my Aunt Toddy's taking me to the Royal Show. Yeah, he would have been proud.

He was really proud of that. And I was like, I'm your cool auntie. Have you bought him alcohol? No. Well, so he, I've lived away from Perth for such a long time. How old was he when you left? Oh, well, I haven't lived in Perth for like six years. So 12.

12. Probably a bit young to be sucking down a vodka cruiser. Yeah. But that's okay. We'll revisit that. Oh, now he's 18. He doesn't need you. You've missed a real opportunity there, a vodka cruiser. Yeah. But that's okay. We'll revisit that. Oh, now he's 18. He doesn't need you. You've missed a real opportunity there, a real bonding moment.

I know. I made a lot of friends with strangers in the bottle shop car park when I was 16. Oh, mate, that's fucking rough and we can revisit that another time. Yeah, okay. But so as he's gotten older, he's pretty cool. He plays basketball. He's super into music. Wears cool clothes.

Goes to the gym. Goes to the gym. He's just a cool guy and i'm actually not allowed to follow him on instagram oh so he follows me on instagram but i'm not i have not been accepted to follow him back oh so it's a it's like says like requested on his thing so he's uh yeah okay because i'm gonna say you can't just choose no he's on's on priv. He's on priv. Anyway, and so there was like this really long time where I was the cool auntie and now I'm kind of like, oh, my God, like he's pretty cool. Maybe I've like surpassed that. Anyway, a few weeks ago I was talking to my brother and I was like, oh,

like can't believe Tyler's almost 18. He's like, yeah, isn't it crazy? Like my baby's 18. And I was like, is he going to have a party? Like are you guys going to do a big party? And he was like, yeah, but we aren't invited. Yeah, I mean, you know, your parents are stinking up your 18. You want to get loose.

And I kind of get it. But I was like, oh, I didn't really think much about it. And I'm denied about whether I should go to Perth or not. I'm denied about whether I should go to Perth or not. And I, a few years ago, missed, this is pre-COVID, missed a really big moment with a really close girlfriend of mine, Paige. And I realised that I was like, I'm not going to miss big stuff anymore. Yep.

Like I'm not going to let myself regret not being there. And so I was like, fuck it. You know what? Two days ago I booked my flight. I'm going to Perth today. So I've got to go actually. Hang on a second. Hang on.

You're flying out to Savo. Yeah. Why are you not at the airport now? Yeah, I know. I know. This is unlike you. I know. And I've got to have to wear my Tilly scarf on the plane. Did you not book the flight six months ago?

What do you mean you booked it two days ago? I didn't even book insurance. Didn't even book travel insurance. I know. Do you have a rich girl credit card where it's built in though? I don't. Maybe that's international. I don't know.

But for you not to have insurance. Anyway. I'm struggling to comprehend that. Crazy fun girl. So not only is it crazy that I like don't have insurance and I've booked this like very last minute, Torbs isn't coming because obviously with Pippa, he was like, I'll stay home, like you go and have fun.

I actually like don't know if I'm invited to the party. Has he said Tony come to the party? No. So when you say you don't know if you're invited, you haven't been. I'm not invited. I'm just not sure. I'm not sure if I've been invited to the party. No. So when you say you don't know if you're invited, you haven't been. I'm not invited. I'm just not sure. I'm not sure if I've been invited to the Oscars. They haven't let me know either way.

They haven't let me know. Yeah, so I haven't been invited. Yeah, so okay. So do you think that if he wanted you there, he would have invited you? Well, but maybe he was like, well, Aunt Toddy's in Melbourne. He doesn't make assumptions. She's not going to come to, yeah, that's true.

I know him. He's a cool guy. You know him. And I was like, oh. So why did you book the flights? Well, because I was like, either way, I get to see him for his birthday and I'll get to catch up with my family. It's pretty clear he doesn't want the upper generation cramping his style.

He's going to be swerving around, macking heaps of fucking everyone. Probably, right? And so this is the thing. Has he got a hot girlfriend? I don't know. Not that I know of. He's probably the guy with the iPhone lock screen. I reckon he's got three on the go.

You reckon? Fuck bitches get money. That's my baby nephew. Don't say that. Anyway. What kind of car does he drive? He's got a- A sexy. He does. Bang chicks car. That's my baby nephew. Don't say that. Anyway. What kind of car does he drive? He's got a- A sexy.

He does. I bang chicks car. It's a Subaru BRZ. Hang on. I can show you a photo. Does his car say, I bang chicks? Yeah. Or it says, I could if I want.

Yeah. Oh, let me- Oh, fuck. And he is going to have his almost 30-year-old aunt come in and be a party mum. Yeah, nah, it's a hot guy. Yeah. So this is the thing, right?

Yeah. You know how just before you said the upper generation aren't invited, like adults aren't invited? Yeah, I didn't know I was an adult. Because then, right, I started thinking I was like, yeah, I'll go as a guest, like how fun, like woo, going to be like they're going to be having fun, it's going to be music, food, whatever started thinking, I was like, yeah, I'll go as a guest. Like, how fun. Like, woo, we're going to be like, they're going to be having fun. It's going to be music, food, whatever.

And then. Food. I had to. Tony, how old are you? Drinks and food. Nibbles? They do nibbles at an 18th. Just like drugs.

You don't want to have food if you're taking hard drugs. Yeah, because then you throw up. Yeah. Well, you just don't feel like it. Just shelve the drugs. Well. No. Not when you're 18. Not yet Yeah, because then you throw up. Well, you just don't feel like it. You just shelve the drugs. Well. No. Not when you're 18.

Not yet. That's an older kid thing. But you don't do that until you're 20. I've never shelved drugs. We have discussed previously that when you went to Sam's party or drinks, that you were like the mum of the party. And they were all 21. Yeah.

So it's going to even work. Three years younger than that. So what I want to kind of try and figure out- Is what you're going to do in Perth tonight. Yes, if anyone's got anything going, I'd love to come. I'm free and available. Well, so say I do get to Perth, right? Yeah.

And Tyler is so excited to see his favourite Aunt Toddy. His favourite has been decided on this podcast for all my siblings who listen. I've just decided that. He is busy planning his party. He's not thinking about Tony. But so if his favourite Aunt Toddy rocks up, right, and then he goes, like, you've come all this way, come to the party, am I a guest or am I a chaperone?

Chaperone, especially with that haircut. Am I, like, stopping kids stopping kids from like kissing each other? Am I going, have you already turned 18? Give me that guava vodka cruiser. Hands are up and saying, mate. No one's getting fingered on this dance floor. Or am I the loose auntie that's like, yeah, have this guava vodka cruiser.

Please don't be that loose auntie. Please don't be that auntie. Can't be the loose auntie. Am I like behind the shed having a ciggy with the kids, you know? Genuine question. Because there's always that loose auntie that Am I like behind the shed having a ciggy with the kids, you know? Genuine question. Because there's always that loose auntie that's had a party. Torbz's auntie Anne is that loose auntie, and I've had a few ciggies with her at Torbz's sister's wedding,

and that was loose. I fell over in front of everyone. But your threshold, like there's such a small window between Tony has smelt a beverage versus Tony is incoherently blind and needs to be put to bed. Like there's like such a small window. Can you imagine this group of 18-year-olds are like – Holding your hair back? Just like pushing me away.

Into it. Like rolling me into the house. I'm like, yeah, you're going to have a sticky. Is it at the house or is it a bar? I don't know. I literally have no idea where it is, who's going. I'm like, yeah, you're going to have a singing. Is it at the house or is it at a bar? I don't know. I literally have no idea where it is, who's going. I don't know. Okay.

I don't know anything and it's today. Genuine question. Yeah, genuine question. Surely with the. Sorry. Yeah, I did not have it. Yeah, now I get it. Surely with 17 and 18-year-olds in the crowd and the fact

that you have like a couple of hundred thousand followers on the gram and TikTok and stuff, surely that's, like, cred. Do you think so? Like, even if they don't rate your gear because, obviously, we're way older, I think they'll just appreciate the numbers, though. Okay. So is what you think I should do, walk in there, go look at my Instagram? Yeah.

I'm obviously not going to do that. Wear a T-shirt that says, at Tony Lodge. You know how I made the soccer ball? Maybe today before my flight I could quickly make a t-shirt that says, like, hey, check me on Instagram, lol. Famous amongst millennials. Yeah. Kids love me.

Like, at Tony Lodge. Like older people. Teenagers love me. No, they're teenagers. Okay. Middle-aged. Someone loves me somewhere. Middle-aged Kmart mums in Albury.

And that's my area. Yeah. And that's okay, especially with the cricket. But what I – I'm big in crafting mum Facebook groups. Even if that is cred, though, first, how do I share that message, which we've just covered, thank God. But, like, do you think that then, like, the move is for me to kind of be like,

play it cool? Like, go in with less energy than I normally do? Well, I don't think you're capable of this. I've never seen Tony play it cool. No, never in my life. Never in my life. Hannah, can I just repeat what you said to me? Yeah.

This is what you just said. Okay. I know you pretty well now. Let me just repeat what you just said and you tell me if this is something I don't want to be uttered today because I have to fly. You know what I'm like on days I have to fly. I'll be cool. First red flag.

I'll just go in and kind of be quiet. Not possible. Is it? I'll just be nonchalant. No one will even notice. Yeah, okay. So normally I'd walk in and be like, ah, it's my nephew's birthday. Like, oh, my God, I remember the day that you were born.

I used to change your nappies. But instead I'll go in and be like. I took you to the royal show. Instead I'll be like, whose party is this? Oh, it's just in the area. Yeah, my chili scarf. Yeah, sorry, I'm into sport. Anyone got a vape? Yeah, it's just in the area. Yeah. My chilli scarf. Yeah, sorry, I'm into sport.

Anyone got a vape? Yeah, I love Young Gravy. Anyone watched Bleach, that anime? Someone talked to me about that the other day. I don't know what it is. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, I like always recycle. Kickflip? out um yeah i like do you guys always recycle and um i'd never be caught dead without my um hydro flask and i oop is that still cool i'll be skunk are you speaking english i used to i have

no idea what just happened oh she's on the ground she's on the ground. Mate, go home. Get some Nando's with Torbs. You're not going to Perth tonight. Get back somewhere near your microphone. You're actually doing a podcast right now. I fell right down. So what I think I'll do is... Can I just throw

something out there? The second option is what I'll do. What should I fucking wear? Before you even get to this. I'm so panicked. I literally have to leave like now. Is he still in school? Didn't he finish last year? No, he's still at school.

Because his birthday's in July. You know how it's now like January to June and then. I was going to say I'd love to call him. But he'd be at school. He'll be at school. And he probably won't answer. Are you hearing all this? Fuck.

Should I cancel my flight? I didn't even get insurance. I can't even cancel my flight. I'll lose all my money. Okay. Who's got something for Tony to do in Perth tonight? Yeah. Yep.

And I've got a little bit of time. When people are listening to this, I've got a bit of time because my flight's not till like four o'clock. Yeah. Maybe there'll be enough time between this going out, the comments coming in, and me being able to action those to pack and organize and plan what I'm going to say and do and wear and act like. All right, next week.

I am, don't be confused by my resting bitch face and nonchalant vibe. I am so intrigued to see how this plays out because. Would you say you're curious? I would say I'm curious. Yeah. I'm curious, George. Yeah, in the yellow. Yeah. I'm curious, George. Yeah. In the yellow, nice.

Thank you. If he won't allow you to follow him on Instagram. He's not going to let me go to his party. No. Unless he does think my job is cool, then he might let me go. I think the thing with, like, if your mum and dad's cool is, like, the kid never thinks that. So his friends might think it's cool, but I don't think he's – because he wants to finger bitches.

Like he wants to do drugs and shit. He wants to get fucked up. And he doesn't want his snitchy auntie – see, that attitude. And you just go, well, you can do whatever you like and it's fine. No, if he – like the thing is, is that if he was in trouble or like needed something, I think he would call me. Right. I think we have like, you know, but I'm in Melbourne.

So he doesn't. So that's the only thing that's stopping him. But that's like every parent's always like, why didn't you tell me? I thought we were close. No. Yeah. Nah. I never told my mum stuff.

You know, you'd be dying in a field. You'd drunk all that vodka and you'd be like, yeah, I'm just at Emily's house. Doing homework. Yeah. We love God. You know, like you just like fully lie about something. But yeah, so I'm actually really nervous about, I don't get nervous about a lot of stuff. Like I'm pretty, apart from parking, I'm like quite a confident girl, but I'm like shitting myself about this. Like I think I don't know what to wear. What if they make fun of my psoriasis? Questions. Questions.

You seem to be thinking a lot about Tony Lodge. Yeah. Yeah. And not a lot about your cousin. Nephew. Thank you. Yeah. So you're like, what should I wear?

Because he's a nice guy. He is. He's a sweet boy. If you turn up, he. So you're like, what should I wear? Because he's a nice guy. He is. He's a sweet boy. If you turn up, he's not going to like see you. He's not going to blank me. No. No, but like. Be like, Aunt Toddy, you weren't invited. No, but like you're putting him in an awkward.

Gate crusher. You're putting him in an awkward situation. Oh. Because you know what I mean? He's not going to turn you away, but he's like, fuck. You know, like someone needs help, like they rock up at your doorstep, you're never going to turn someone away. But you're like, all right, come in.

And so you're putting him in an awkward spot. Did that cross your mind at all? No. So should I not go? Is that what you reckon? I shouldn't go? Well, I just think you need to consider who's... I've literally booked the flight. Like, I have to go to Perth, but you think I shouldn't go to the party?

Or you think I shouldn't go to Perth? Well, should you just get, like, a vibe from him? Should I text him today? I'll be like, oh, party tonight. Oh, I hope you have fun. And if he drops it, like, oh, I wish you could be here, you'd be like, oh, party tonight. Oh, I hope you have fun. And if he drops it like, oh, I wish you could be here, you'd be like, oh, oh, oh. All right.

So what I'll do, walk in the door at home and go, sweet cheeks, happy birthday, fucking missed you, I love you so much, here's a cool gift, which I haven't bought yet. I have to buy something at the airport. Maybe a copy of my book. Does he want a Tilly scarf? I don't have any spare. This is mine. Yeah, would you like a copy of my book. Does he want a Tilly scarf? I don't have any spare. This is mine.

Yeah, would you like a copy of my book that you're in, by the way? That's cool. Does he have a copy of the book? Yeah, he does. Okay. Has he read it? Doubt it. Yeah, doubt it.

Probably just his bits. He's like, oh, scroll through. Tyler, yep, cool. Oh, cool. Nice. Scroll back through. Yeah. And then be like, have a great time tonight.

And then hopefully he's just so overcome with joy that he goes, oh, my God, aren't you coming? Yeah. And then, you know, I would happily chaperone if it means I get to be there. I'll be the adult. But if it's at a bar, you don't need a chaperone. Oh, yeah. It's at a venue with bar staff. I don't know if it's at a bar.

I don't even know where it is. Imagine if he goes, yeah, we're just meeting down at the Balmoral and I go there and I'm waiting and that's not where the party is. I'd love to see that. And shout out to everyone going to the Balmoral tonight. See you there. See you there, bitches. All right, next week, one way or another,

we will have a conclusion to this story. Actually, I've got one more piece of advice. What is it? And this goes against everything you stand for as a human. And even though I say it and it's good advice, you're actually not going to do it. Okay. Advice is free. Go real late.

Cool. If you rock up early and he's had three sips of beer And it's a bit quiet He's like, now I've got to Introduce Tony to people And look after her because she doesn't know anyone But if you rock up at 10 Is that early for kids? I actually don't know

What time does the party start? 5.30? 6? That's when the crackers could come out, surely. I reckon turn up at 11.30 when he's had a lot to drink and he'll just be like, what the fuck, Tony? And everyone else will be blind. And because it's busy and happening, he won't feel the need to introduce and do the pleasantries.

He'll just give you this big sloppy hug. He'll probably lick your face and introduce you to his friends. But I just know you're going to get there early and just be awkward and sober and he's going to be quiet. You know what I should have done? Not gone. Learn to DJ. And then it could have been like I walk in and I'm like, yeah!

And then I get on the deck so I'm like, wiki, wiki, wah! And that's like impressive. You could be Redfoo. Yep. Woo! Very impressive. Redfoo, Party Rock, that was his uncle. Party Rock is in the house tonight.

That was uncle, nephew. That was the same as you guys. So I'll just do that. Learn to DJ on the plane. Surely there's a YouTube I could download on the way. There's a... Get YouTube premium. There's an iPad thing with decks on the screen. Bring my iPad. Yeah. And then I could work when the way? There's a... Get YouTube Premium? There's an iPad thing with Dex on the screen.

Bring my iPad? Yeah. And then I could work when it's quiet. Do you think my idea of going late is better? It is, yeah. I think that's good advice. If it's at their house, which I actually, I genuinely, this is not like a yarn, I genuinely don't know where it is.

If it's at their house, I'll just sit in my room until it's later. If the parents aren't invited. Oh, then I could have a little sleep. You can't. I'll have a little sleep and then I'll be able to like disco nap and then I'll be able to party with the kids after that. Go to bed at 4pm, get up at 10pm. Toddy, she went all night.

Little did they know I just got up early the next day. And I had a whole chicken while I was in my own room. I dare say if it's... I've had a big meal. If parents aren't invited, it won't be at the parents' house. Or unless it's like mum and dad stay in your room, we're going to be in the backyard or something. Oh, yeah.

You know, like that's- Watch this space. Possibility. Watch this space. I'll give everyone the details, but happy birthday, bud. I know you don't listen, but love you so much. He doesn't even listen. You're just my favourite person in the whole world

and just love you so much. Can't wait to see. Just my favourite person in the whole world and just love you so much. Can't wait to see you today. I've got to love to see it. Yeah, so do I. You go first. All right, so Renee shared this in our Facebook group, Tony and Ryan Podcast on Facebook. We have like a pin post for normal or nas and you love to see it.

And this was on our You Love To See It thread. And Renee says, I took my five-year-old daughter to a Women's World Cup game. Fuck yeah. So we're obviously on the Tillys bandwagon. It's so cool to me that her first professional sports game she's ever attended is seeing incredible women playing at international level, being epic and strong and supporting each other. Love to see it. Isn't that so cool? Yep.

And Renee says that her daughter's biggest concern was, are they having fun if they have to play in the rain? That is a genuine concern. Isn't that sweet? I thought that about AFL and I go, do you reckon any, even though they're a professional and get paid heaps, they just look out the window on a Saturday morning and go, fuck. It's cold and raining. I just couldn't be fucked today.

Yeah, and they go, fuck, is it too late to call in sick? I know I'm the captain, but is it too late to call in sick? Yeah, no, I don't think it is. But here's a picture of Renee, and we'll get Franco to put it on the screen. Here's a picture of Renee and her daughter at the Women's World Cup. They're loving themselves sick. Isn't that so sweet? But I thought, yeah, in the theme of today's episode, jumping on the bandwagon

and loving and spending time with your family and enjoying it. While we're on the tillies and those ladies, I'm going to change my love to see it to Becca. Oh, hi Becca. Becca switched careers to like a tradeie job, like an inverted commas, a man's job. Oh, that would be tough because you're working with heaps of blokes and they go, do you need your own toilet?

You know what I mean? Like that's a dumb question, but it's like a good question. It's a good question. They measure and install like countertops and cabinet making and stuff like that. That would be so satisfying because you have to cut it to the right thing. It all kind of comes together like a puzzle. Yeah. Every month we get an incentive on how accurate we've been for the month.

I did 91 jobs in the month of June and made zero errors. Putting me above the 14 men I work with. Suck a fat one. You love to see it. You do love to. Congratulations. Hold up, Becca. That's awesome, Becca.

I make mistakes like twice every job, let alone zero out of 91 jobs. Well, I was a mistake. Oh, sorry, mate. And you going to Perth is not a mistake. I can't cancel my flight. Like, I can't cancel it. Why not? Because I didn't get insurance the first time in my life.

I did not get insurance. I can't even, like... Have you ever used insurance before? No. That's what insurance is for. You hope you never need it. Oh, but the one time you don't get it is the one time you require it. Murphy's Law. Murphy's Law.

Yeah, good call, Cam. Anyway, I'll let you know what happens in Perth. I don't know who Murphy was, but was he like the unlikeliest fucking idiot ever? Yeah. Did they name the law after him? Maybe I should have made it like Tony's Law. Lodge's Law. Lodge's Law.

Thank you so much for listening and watching. If you're watching the video show on your Spotify app or on your TV, fucking love to see it. Have a great weekend. Anyone in Perth got a party on tonight? See you tonight. Hit me up because I might need plans. West Coast, best coast.

What's that? I didn't do the hands yet. Have you, bye.