Toni and Ryan - Kayla / Kate / Katela

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

Medical Comedy and sex outside... EVERYTHING YOU COULD EVER NEED! Love ya! Toni xCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. My name is Ryan John. I'm here with Dr. Author, bestselling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge, and we are calling Rayleigh, which is a town in North Carolina, and her name is Lindsay. Sorry about that. Hello? Hello, Lindsay? Yes. This is Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Hey, guys.

How are you? Yeah, we're well. Where are you? We can hear ourselves and other stuff going on in the background. Yeah, what's going on? We're at Cookout Drive-Thru, it's like burger barbecue place, getting some dinner. Oh.

Well, we won't interrupt your dinner. Would you mind approving the podcast? Absolutely. Woo-hoo. Sweet. Hey, this is Lindsay from North investigation, a deep dive, if you will, into having sex in public places. Oh, do you know that I'm not allowed?

Torbz's partner, Torbz's partner, that's you. That's me. Tony's partner, Torb' partner, that's you. That's me. Tony's partner, Torbs, is on the record. Yeah. They're saying he won't do it in public. No. Much to Tony's dismay. I just think it would be nice to try.

I don't know if not. I'm not saying it's bad. I don't know if nice is the word I would use. Okay. All right. Yeah. Let me restate that. Just, yeah, a bit fun.

Yeah. I think fun's probably fair. Oh, that would be nice. That would be really nice. You never put any of it in. That's coming up soon. But first, we dive again into the well of- A lot of diving.

Went for life. Went for life into medical comedy and victims of medical comedy, which traditionally has been when us, the patients to the doctor us yeah as in us the non-doctors the non-doctors go to the doctor we're awkward so we make a bit of a joke but of course they've heard the joke a hundred times before and it never lands uh the script has been flipped today tarpa kayla says i'm a doctor but my humor is wasted on patients sorry can i just say one thing doctors should not be listening to this yeah they're too smart you're too smart to be listening to this podcast we have been accused of being a brain brain break yep well remember that that lady

approved one day and she was from harvard oh and we just went what are you doing yeah shocking um maybe we should have a tarpa stand you know like the first day of uni like all the little stalls are up and like oh it's the chess club and this club and that club we should have a little tarpa stand that's fun and we'll call it brain breakers and we just um have little stickers yeah yeah that's fun been studying hard and need to switch off yeah welcome take a rest take a load off you guys always talk about medical humour being wasted on the doctor, but I'm the doctor and the real issue is when I drop comedy gold and it's wasted on useless patients.

Yeah. See, that would be annoying because Kate is probably trying to also break the ice and be like, look, I know that you're probably a bit uncomfortable in pain or whatever and maybe that person is just so keyed into being uncomfortable. For example, says Kayla, I'm a chiropractor. Sorry, did a chiropractor just call himself the doctor?

No, you said Kate. Kayla. No, Kate was the first person. Kayla. You said Kate first, didn't you? No, but you definitely said it before. I tried to gloss over it. Oh, sorry.

I thought you said Kate. Where did I get Kate from? So we've been talking about Kayla the whole time. Yeah. Okay, so hang on. So Kayla said as a doctor and then said I'm a chiropractor. Yeah. I thought that osteos were the only of the bone crackers

that were referred to as a doctor. Because physios aren't doctors, are they? No. But I would say a physio would be higher up the rank than a chiropractor. I mean, it depends who you ask. You ask a chiropractor, they're not going to agree. But physios aren't throwing doctor around willy-nilly. No, but like so my osteo, Hot Ramsey, we were talking.

I actually asked him the other day. I've prepared this. What's the difference between like a chiropractor and an osteo and like a physio? And he was talking about it and he was like, but an osteo is like a doctor at the end. Are you Googling? And?

It says doctor is not a protected title. So chiropractors, osteos, pharmacists, optometrists, dentists, vets, podiatrists, Chinese medicine practitioners, and other specific registered health professionals are allowed to use the title doctor as a courtesy title. Oh, okay. A courtesy title. The top one says it has it highlighted to make sure chiropractors are not medical doctors. Anyone can use it except them.

I mean, in Kate-la's defense, I refer to myself as a doctor. That is true. So I'm basically a chiropractor. I'll give it a go for you if you want. You want to crack my back? I'll crack your bone. Sorry. What does Caitla have to say?

Now, I, Ryan, want to put it out on the record that Caitlin has sent through her example and I'm like. Oh. So we not only just like laughing along with the situation, we get to decide whether the joke is worth the laugh or not. She goes, my humor is wasted on patience. And I'm like, maybe it's not the patience. No, we'll decide.

Oh, chiropractic humour. Yeah, all this fucking landed at chiropractic school. Yeah. Yeah, calling yourself a doctor. Maybe Katelyn said, I'm Dr. Katelyn and the patient went, oh, is that the joke? I'm going to do some comedy. I'm here to crack you up.

That's not the joke, but it should be. That should have been. Kate Lott, if you're listening. Use that. You're welcome. Use that, yeah. Especially after the... Okay, let me just read what Kate Lott said.

When the patient comes in for their regular maintenance visit, if I find a bone that's misaligned that I've adjusted before, I'll often say, well, that's not where I left that. No, I like that. 99% of the time, crickets, donuts, nothing, and it hurts my soul. See, I think I'd probably go, why, what did I do? And then she would go, oh, no, I fixed this on her. And then I'd go, oh.

But by that point, the moment would be gone. But as someone who is currently relaxed and chill and I'm on, that's funny. I think you're right, though, in saying, like, you're on the table. You're nervous. You're also vulnerable. Yeah, just fucking crack it. Like, I mean, I know that at the osteo you don't have to declothe or anything. the table you're nervous you're also vulnerable yeah just fucking crack it and like i mean i know that at the osteo you don't have to de-clothe or anything but can you imagine if you're like

in a massage are you telling me that you've met ramsay fully clothed yeah what's the point i try and tap my clothes off he goes tony your pants don't need to be off for this one we're working on the neck i think he's married with two kids he is he's just a really nice guy he's he's really lovely um but anyway um i just think that the vulnerability level of like laying there or sitting there and you're uncomfortable i think that would affect it as well so are we passing that i'll pass the joke but appreciate why people wouldn't laugh you know is that allowed classic fence sitting tone no i actually want it's good or it's bad i think the joke's funny okay um so as we delve into the medical professionals dropping the gold let me introduce to you um which actually came through as a confession and we'll just call them Aussie paramedic.

Aussie paramedic. Now, are paramedics doctors, if we're getting right into it? Because they would never refer to themselves as doctor, would they? But I'd say that colloquially. They're an ambo. But if you were being worked on by a paramedic or, like, say I called an ambulance for you, Ryan, and I'd be like, oh, my God, the doctor's here.

Like you would naturally say that. I'd say the AMBO's here. It's almost like their official title. Oh, they're an AMBO. There's a thing in Victoria where they're called paramedic practitioners so they can now like prescribe stuff and do things because apparently the emergency department's overrun. And they're like, oh, you can prescribe them and take care of them and don't need to bring them in.

So they're giving them like more care and more training. And I think it's better for the actual people as well. Absolutely. Because then they don't have to go and wait in the emergency room or whatever. Yeah, if I've had a fall. Yeah. Or fallen over. Help me back up and put me inside.

Yeah. Or fallen over. Help me back up and put me inside. Or if you're having like a, because in Melbourne especially, you know how people get that like thunderstorm asthma? Yeah. And things like that. Like you don't really need to go to the emergency room for that, but you do need help and you do need like a puffer after.

Yeah. You know, shit like that. Well, speaking of puffer, we've got a story here. Nice. Puffing the magic dragon. Were we talking about that on the show or before the show started? Tony doing a little off-air throwback. Yeah.

And it's fucking throwing me for six. Australian paramedic confesses, one night I was supposed to be a professional. Oh, I don't like this already. Whilst treating an 80-year-old lady. I was helping her with her inhaler, but she like pushed out a bit too hard and the actual inhaler fell onto my face like out of her mouth like she like blew the inhaler out of her mouth why are you blowing the inhaler it's an inhaler yeah but

you still need to like you know how you breathe in and out like she's like and then when she breathed out she's like popped it back you know she's blown Breathe in and out? Could be one of the big ones as well, the medical ones. Like she's like, and then when she breathed out, she's like popped it back. You know, she's blown it out. I just don't know why you would do that. What's she mean to? Oh. And she's 80 years old.

She's an old lady. Yeah. Have you ever seen the RBT episode where the old woman gets pulled over? And because she actually can't breathe into the breathalyzer for long enough, they arrest her. They arrest her? Because legally she, like, couldn't complete a breath test. So they're like, we're really sorry, but we actually have to take you down

and do the, like, blood test one. And was she over? No, she hadn't been drinking or anything, but because she, like, legally couldn't perform a breath test, they had to arrest her. Surely they could use it. And this woman, like, fucking old unit, oh, calm down, you guys,

I leave her fucking holding barina on the fucking median strip on the highway. If she's talking like that, she shouldn't be driving. Well, mate, I'm not a medical professional. I'm just a chiropractor, so I don't know. It's never a good sign on RVT when they're like can you breathe into this and they're like I know my rights

and you go fucking here we go you're buying some time eh let me have a think about it for four hours and um one night I was supposed to be professional whilst treating an 80 year old lady I was helping her with an inhaler and she breathed out too hard and it fell out onto my face, says the Aussie paramedic. She apologized profusely and I said,

Don't worry, love. It's not the first time a stranger's blown on my face. Then I remembered I was at work and maybe that wasn't appropriate, but the not-so-innocent old lady knew exactly what I meant and absolutely pissed herself laughing. See, I was like, that could go one of two ways. She's like, what did you say? Well, it could go one or two ways. She pissed herself laughing and that's when things went downhill.

She actually pissed. The poor old duck was laughing so hard her oxygen levels plummeted. We had to upgrade our treatment pathway to severe because my joke put the nana into respiratory distress. What a compliment. I would love to put someone into respiratory distress. Yeah. In fact, it's a blight on your comedy that I'm never distressed.

Yeah. You need to be more distressed. If you loved me, you'd be more respiratory distressed. Okay, well. Again, not a medical professional, just a chiropractor. Well, Lara in Adelaide crashed her car. Lara Bingle. Yeah, because of something you said.

Yeah. So that's a pretty good compliment. Do you remember what that was? I can't hear you. It was so early in the plot. We were helping another tarpa with her Tinder bio because she was having trouble being not so direct. And I think we were just talking about that and she crashed her car.

Fuck, I don't even remember. That was such a long... We sent her flowers though, huh? Yeah. Yeah, we're nice guys. We're nice guys. Where are we up to? Oh, yeah.

We had to lob her into an ambulance and yeet her to hospital. Now, I'm just reading what she said. Sorry. Of all the things you've said, blow on my face. Yeah, take that. That's fine. Yeet her to hospital. I draw the line at yeeting someone to hospital.

If you were seriously injured, obviously you'd already be stressed. Yeah. If the ambo goes, oh, we're going to have to fucking yeeting someone to hospital. If you were seriously injured, obviously you'd already be stressed. Yeah. If the ambo goes, oh, we're going to have to fucking yeet her to hospital, would that be like, hang on a second? I'd be like, hang on, call someone else. I'll just wait here. Are you a chiropractor or a real professional? Or you go like, my husband's actually asleep inside.

He'll drive me. Like, don't worry about it. Or can you imagine like, you know how. She's like, oh, Tom's got his license and put a ring on it. Oh my God. Or, you know, when the ambos have like the little how. She's like, oh, Tom's got his license and put a ring on it. Oh my God. Or, you know, when the Ambos have like the little radios and they go, yeah, breaker one nine, breaker one nine. Yeah.

We're going to yeet this old. The 90 year old female is being yeeted as we speak. I swore at a secrecy and I looked at her and said, do not tell anyone. That this is my fault. That this is my fault. And I said, promise. Say that you promise. Oh, yeah.

She would give you, I reckon she'd be sweet. She could no longer talk, but she did nod. She died? No, she just couldn't talk. Oh. Oh, yeah, she nodded. Remember the respiratory distress? Yeah.

She couldn't talk. Oh, my God, you killed her. Have you died? Yes, I have. Oh couldn't talk. Oh, my God. You killed her. Have you died? Yes, I have. Oh, damn it. Oh, no. Hey, it's Lindsay from North Carolina, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

A massive shout out to a few of us. Sorry, the first... The first... The first patron is called Caitlin. And after the Kayla... Oh, Kayla. The Kayla, Caitlin fucking scenario of five minutes ago, Caitlin Steyer is genuinely their name. Thank you, Caitlin Steyer.

Thanks, Caitlin Steyer. Morgan, Caroline Larson. I think I've got a Caitlin Steyer in my eye. Have you noticed that it's a bit red? And I've been itching it and my eye's been watering this whole episode. Have you actually ever had a Steyer? No. It's fucked.

Is it? My mum used to get them. So I had a... A Caitlin Steyer. No, fucked. Is it? My mum used to get them. So I had a... A Caitlin Steyr. No, I haven't. No. Tony's lost it. And I'm also thinking about like in a royal situation,

like, oh, good evening, Steyr. Caroline Larson. Thanks, Kaz. Lauren Hanson and Emily emily wood oh would she oh you're right there we'll fucking wait for you i was being coffee sip and you're just dropping gold over there sorry sorry mate we'll fucking wait yeah um what was the name wood emily wood um yeah my mom used to get stars all the time that's like not what killed her i'm not related is it hereditary uh no but is it is a star a bit like a cold sore like if you get

one once you kind of get them forever it could be in that category yeah because um producer cam is nodding cam is a cam gets everything yeah cam actually gets eh? Do you get cold sores as well? No, I don't have herpes. Thanks very much. Oh, okay. What was the other thing you had? Or was that not on the pod? That wasn't on the pod.

I don't think we talked about Cam having gonorrhea on the podcast. I thought it was chlamydia. I don't think we did, actually. Was it chlamydia? Which one was it? No, it was gonorrhea, wasn't it? Yeah, well, now it's gonorrhea, so. Okay.

I'm glad that he wants to talk about it after it's gone. You're stuck at plummet camp cock and plummet more like nice gonorrhea with the winds thank you so much to all of those champion tarpers we do lots of cool stuff on our patreon recently we just announced our marathon that we're hoping to do

so if you want to see us fucking die and do a 50 hour marathon sign on up baby we have to get to 3000 people before I will agree to do it. We were around 2,000-ish. We need to get to 3,000 minimum by the end of the month. There's a lot of good gear in there because last week I did a one-hour live stream tour of my new fridge.

So, I mean, sign up. When I saw that, I was like, is that why you tried to call me when you're on the stream yeah because everyone's like call ryan i was like fuck ryan and then we got an hour in i was like yeah i'll give him a ring yeah so um i i go into patreon and i see tony's fridge tour and i go are you joking and i clicked on it and it was for an hour. I was like, how much is going on in this fridge? Yeah, a whole hour it was. I went through every single source that I have.

I'm actually not even joking and talking about how I have like two different types. I know. If we wanted to see it, we'll go to Patreon. Don't spoil the punchline. Patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan. You'll love that. Anyway.

line yeah patreon.com slash tony and ryan you'll love that anyway i've been thinking a lot about why people have sex in public places and i think it comes down to three things yep like there's three reasons you would do it one is like the thrill of it to spice things up uh two would be that you're so horned up it's just like wherever you are like it has to happen right here right now i can't wait any longer that's turned me on a little bit and i reckon the third is like teenagers or younger people when you both live at home you've both got siblings like where else where else are you gonna go yeah i don't want to be doing it in the park but like where else can we do it do you feel like i've like yeah, I was actually waiting to see what the third one is

because then I was going to be like necessity. Necessity, yeah. Like you need a place to go and do it. Yeah. I haven't said do it in a. When I worked at the Dodgy Motel in the city. A lot of people coming in and doing it? Absolutely.

Well, that was like the sole purpose of the hotel. Don't whisper. People aren't like that. But of the hotel. Don't whisper. People won't like that. But I don't. Don't whisper. You have to yell. So what? There was this lady, like a girl, and she like had a very influential

like Russian family. Like real rich family. Yeah. Rich and. Rich and very like maybe proper and like this is how things are going to be oh and maybe like russian royalty do they have royalty in russia how does that work i don't know i don't know um and she was doing the hippity dippity with uh no absolutely not um i don't want to uh wake up with the horse's head in my bed thank you what does that mean it's from the godfather oh okay i'm actually a good mother so yeah yeah different um uh this sudanese guy who because you have melbourne a lot of like sudanese community

and so they'd like struck up a romance but i I don't think the Russian dad was going to have a bar. So it was like a Romeo and Juliet kind of thing. It was 100% Romeo and Juliet. Forbidden love. Yeah. So the Sudanese guy lived with his family of a lot of people in a very small house in the western suburbs. She couldn't take a black guy back to the Russian.

Like that was just not appropriate for her family apparently. So they would come to the hotel and just like have this like rendezvous every weekend. And that's just what the hotel was for them. Because I always go check out time isn't the guy. It doesn't matter. I'll be gone in an hour and a half. Do you do a special rate for like just popping in for an hour?

There were a lot of people that would come in and go. Is it cheaper for the hour? Yeah. Or like three hours or something. Is there a night? But no, it was a the hour? Yeah. Or like three hours or something? Is there a night? But no, it was a night rate. Yeah, right. But if I had a dollar for every time I was asked,

do you do an hourly rate? I wouldn't have had to work there because I would have earned that much cash. Anyway. So the other night BJ and I are going for a walk, my dog, and we stumble across two teenagers having sex in the park. Hang on. Sorry. we stumble across two teenagers having sex in the park. And I got. Hang on. Sorry.

And I get. And it was at night. So, and because it's dark, I was within arm's length of them. Like they were, I could have touched them. They were right there before I realized like what was going on. So I was right up in there. What? Right up in there.

What time was it? Like really late or? 9.30, 10 o'clock. So not super late. And it was a weeknight. I think it was a Wednesday or a Thursday. Oh, they told their mom and dad they were at band practice or fucking volleyball training or something. Not that it makes it any different.

But for some reason reason I'm like, if it was a Saturday night and there was a house party down the road, again, it's pretty fucking weird. But I would kind of imagine how that would come to be. Yeah. Oh, don't say come to be. Don't say come to be. The fact it was a weeknight, I'm like, did you guys plan this?

As in like, what are you doing tonight? And it's cold at the moment too. It is cold. Yeah, that's a good point. Maybe they, okay. What about. And BJ, because BJ knew before I did. So so he because you know how he's real friendly he's seen it before but you know how he's friendly and when he sees people who like walk up to them yeah and so he's like walked over to the playground bit and i'm like so i'm just like bro they're fucking in the

playground yeah they're sitting in the um at the top of the slide oh you wouldn't be on the ground it's too cold and wet but at the top of the side that what wouldn't be on the ground it's too cold and wet but at the top of the slide what if you went down the slide is that well they're facing the other do you want me to put yeah i actually okay so okay let me tell you what i thought when you first said it yeah i'm imagining she's bent over against a tree and he was behind her is what i was assuming i'm assuming it's like teenagers straight straight, heterosexual sex. She's bent over. He's behind her.

And like, they're kind of hidden in the trees rather than them being in the playground. That's not how it was. But it's funny that you mentioned that exact thing. Bron and I, a few years ago, went for a walk in Eltham. What are you? Are you a peeping Tom? Are you like walking around? Oh, just do my bird watching,

but you're like looking for people fucking in the fucking woods. Well, it depends how you define bird watching. I'm just watching this bird. And, um, so I said to, I said to the dog,

I was like, back in the day, kids used to like walk down here and like hook up. You said this to the dog? Yeah. And so we're walking down. Hey, no.

Yeah. Hang on. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And so, so you said to BJ, oh yeah, so we're walking down hey no yeah hang on no no no no no no no and so so you said to bj oh yeah there we go a few years ago why are you talking about he's my best friend and don't you fucking dare say otherwise no but i was introducing him to my old hood because he was being he he's lived in the grampians he's lived in richmond then we went and stayed at mom's a few years ago and i could see an elephant i was like hey

bro this is like where i grew up and down here. And so I said, people used to go down there and hook up. And so anyway, we ended up walking down the river. And then a guy and a girl was in the exact position you just described. And I was like, see, Bron? There it is. And he went, well, I'll be fucked. And you went, you can talk.

Yeah. So that's what humans call doggy style. And I know as a dog, you won't understand that. So anyway. That's very funny, actually humans call doggy style. And I know as a dog, you won't understand that. So anyway. That's very funny, actually, the doggy style. But no, that's not how they were. So at the top of, what would you call a playground? Like the platform where we'll be like the top of the slide?

So you climb up and then you slide down. Yep. So he would have been at the, let's say the platform is the top bit where the slide is. And that often has a little roof. A little roof. I think it does have a roof. Yeah. So he would have been at the, let's say the platform is the top bit where the slide is. And that often has a little roof. A little roof. I think it does have a roof. Yeah. So he's sitting at the back, like lean.

Yeah. So he's sitting on the ground, like leaning up against the wall. And imagine like his foot is at the top of the slide. So he's on the other side of the platform, but he's facing that way, but too far away to like fall down the slide, like his feet are there. And then she's sitting on top of him. Facing him. Facing him.

Yep. Yeah. Nice. And that's sort of, you know, how it's going. And so Bron kind of sees them or senses them. You know, I don't know if it's a smell or a sense or a fucking whatever. I mean, you've seen it before, so he knows. He knows what to look out for. Because it's a smell or a sense or a fucking whatever. I mean, you've seen it before, so he knows. He knows what to look out for.

Because it's a playground. The slide's probably only like a metre and a half, five foot off the ground. So when they're sitting up on the platform, it's still small enough that Bron can kind of like pop his foot up and like, oh, you know, hey. Yeah, what are you guys up to? Someone pat me.

Yeah, because just then when you said I was arms length away from us, I was like, are you going on the slide? You know what? I haven't done this in years. You're climbing up and then, oh, sorry. So considering that. Oh, occupado. Taken.

Yeah. Because of the height I just described, that's like if I'm standing there. That's like face level, yeah. Yeah, so like my face is like. You're basically having sex with them too. I think I did. there. That's like face level, yeah. Yeah, so like my face is like. You're basically having sex with them too. I think I did. Yeah. Yeah.

You should fucking make sure you haven't caught a can, Scott. Hard, hard, sorry. Past tense. So Bron sort of, you know, we're finishing up our work. I'm like, come on, Bron, let's go. And he's like, you know, because he's always just like sniffing and doing his business. And so I was sort of like, oh, he's sniffing over there.

Come on, mate. And I kind of walked over to get him. And because it was dark and they've obviously gone, fuck this, I'm going to just be still. Hot. Yeah. Yeah, but like that meant because if they were like moving, I would have meters away going, oh, something's over there, whatever.

Come on, Peter. Or even because you like hear people breathing. Yeah. Like you something's over there, whatever. Come on, Peter. Or even, because you, like, hear people breathing. Yeah. Like, you're, like, heavy breathing or whatever. And so I didn't realize they were there until I was, I reckon my face was 38 centimeters from his dick. That's, so, like, a ruler and a third. So what's that?

A ruler and then a bit. Yeah. Oh, fuck, that's close. Yeah. And I went, so, all right. Oh, my God. I don't even. Considering how close I was, and it was just, fuck, that's close. And I went, so, all right. Oh, my God. I don't even. Considering how close I was, and it was just like,

it's not like you're getting close and going, are they? Yeah, I think they are. It's just a, oh, like. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so how would you react if you were right up in there and your dog's, like, sniffing them and trying to get a pat? Oh, that's not where I left it. Or like, room for one more, you know.

I don't know. Room for one more. I'm assuming these are like children. Oh, but that's just a gag. I'm obviously not asking for fucking. Yeah, but then what if they go, ah, room for one more? And I go, yeah, okay. Yeah, jump in.

Oh, actually, I was just doing a bit. Just doing gags. Yeah, I'm like tapping a microphone. Is this thing on? Just doing a gag like she will be. Yeah, I don't actually know what i would do i'd in the i'm thinking that i'd be real cool and i'd make a joke or something but probably i'd go and i'd just walk off yeah and i'd like scoop pipper up and like we'd go so i made i didn't say any words but i said

i made two noises. No, like you said, do the... Yeah. The first one was like a, oh, there's people. And then the second one. So, okay, I'll just do the noises. Okay. Oh, oh. Oh, no, you can't do a judgy one.

No, but it was like, oh, I think there's people. And it was me going, oh, like... Yeah, I think that a, oh, oh. I think that's fine, but you can't do a, oh, I think there's people. And it was me going, oh, like. Yeah, I think that a, oh, I think that's fine. But you can't do a, oh, because like teenagers, they need to have sex too. Oh, absolutely they do. I mean, if you're 17 and not rooting in the park, what are you doing?

What are you doing? I don't think it was a judge. It was just me realising. I was like, are they people? Oh, yes, it is. And you kind of feel like rude because you're like, oh, I didn't, I'm not trying to intrude. Yeah, sorry.

Yeah, you know, but like they're fucking in the park. Yeah. But then the thing is, is that because Bron, the dog, is very friendly, he doesn't like, because when you say that, you kind of just like, almost like pretend he didn't see it. Yeah. But with Bron, he doesn't get the nuance. So because he goes, oh, there's people here we're playing yeah we're in the park they're wrestling where everyone's

having a fucking good time i was like yeah so this is why you need to hook your dog on a lead so that you can get out of that situation quick smart yeah yeah put your dog on a lead sounds like a euphemism anyway i just wanted to send a shout out to the people who were uh to your new best mates yeah on um what if they listen and they go oh my god that was ryan like he was 38 centimeters away from my dick yeah um it's going to be embarrassing for you if they tell us a different version isn't it i take what version would they get? I'm just saying, wouldn't that be funny? What has been interesting though, because I go most nights, like Mabel's down, Bridget's asleep,

and then I'll take Bron to like, you know, do his night business and, you know, get some fresh air before bed. And now every time I go, I kind of like have, I like kind of like sneak a good, is Coast Clear, is anyone there? It's all good. Okay, come on Bron. In case it's a regular one. Coast Clear. Is there anyone there? Oh, no. It's all good. Okay. Come on, bro. In case it's a regular spot. Wow. There was a few regular spots around like where I grew up where like you'd know that if you went there.

So there's like one particular. It's not a park. Like a make out spot? Yeah. Or like a doing it spot. Kind of both, I guess. One of them was Zigzag Hill. Oh, Zigzag Hill.

Zigzag Hill. And you would like park up at the top and the view was like stunning that was a common one and then there was a few like parks around where i like in your hood yeah where you knew that people would definitely be down there yeah or like in the park like these people were doing and i fucking yeah i get it Well, I don't know what will happen if they'll listen. But what I do know is remember how on this show we talked about the Eltham Farmers Market and the coffee cart being too close to the band? Oh, yeah, yeah.

I get looks when I go to the market now. Because I think that video, and I mean, it only takes one person to post it in the local farmers market Facebook group or something. But I think that video has done the mean, it only takes one person to like post it in like the local farmer's market Facebook group or something. But I think that video has done the rounds around the farmer's market community. So now I go down there and I'm like, like a, you know how in like an old Western, the person's been like shunned from the community. Yeah, the pariah.

Yeah. Yeah. There's a real, there's a real stank about me when I go down there. But is it the jazz band that's angry at you? Or? I think it's just the general community think i've brought the market into disrepute yeah i i do well they just very aware and i'm like i'm just looking like fucking garbage right now trying to get a croissant

i feel that way when i go to the local post office so yeah but yeah because you yeah but you like drag them down i went pretty hard yeah. And you're still sending stuff. That's brave. Yeah. Still relying on the Australia Postal Service. Yep. Anyway. Anyway, shout out to those two kids.

Yeah, good on ya. Good on ya. Get into it. See ya. Sorry. I was going to say see you soon. See you soon? No, that's fucking awful.

That sounds like I want to say it. Tony, what do you love to see? So I got marketed to. I got... What's in your algorithm? I was about to say... A third treadmill. I was about to say influenced, but it was a sponsored ad that got me.

And I am like marketer's dream. The same as a treadmill. I got me. And I am like marketer's dream. The same as the treadmill. Like I just see stuff and I fall like I just fall into the trap every time. But I just got this app and this is not an ad, by the way. I got done by an ad but this is not sponsored. I just started using this app called Headway. Have you ever seen that? No.

And the thing that got me in was that the tagline of the thing was like micro learning but you hate learning no but i don't hate learning i just hate like putting time like thinking about putting time into stuff like makes me i'm like oh i probably can't commit that time or whatever or when I sit down at the end of the day, the last thing I'm thinking about is like furthering my brain. I'm like, oh, I just need some time off. And then at the end, and then two hours later, I'm like, fuck, I've been like scrolling on Instagram for ages

or playing with Blocky Doku. Like that's probably not really. What's Blocky Doku? It's a different app that I've got. I can show you that one later. I'll do that as my love to search. How's your Duolingo going? I haven't done my Duolingo in ages.

Okay. Been lazy on my Duolingo. Anyway, but the reason that I'm bringing it up is because I thought that you would like it. Basically, it is like micro, like short versions of books. So it's like the top line. Oh, like Blink List. What's that? Sorry, keep going.

But I reckon you're going to describe. Yeah, I love those things though. Yeah. So it's like, so the book that you recently mentioned to me was The Happiness Trap. Yep. And so it has like a 17 minute version of The Happiness Trap in the thing. And so you can kind of read the highlights. Audio or written? Both.

Yep. So you can read through it or you could listen to the whole thing. Yeah, they're awesome, aren't they? But it's really cool because I've read like top line of a few. And so to get a feel for what it kind of offered, I've read two of books I've already read so that I could measure whether it actually gave you, no, whether it gave you like a good. Oh, like an accurate overview. Yeah, because I was like, I don't want to say that I've like read all these books and then be like, oh, no, it's way off.

Okay, so here's my issue. Uh-huh. Yeah, so I've used Blink List for ages. Sure. Same kind of thing. Have I read the book? Well, no, I don't think you can say that you've read the book. Oh, yeah, I've read that.

And then I go, oh, no, I haven't. I've listened to the 14 minute overview which is great yeah sometimes i look at the thickness of a book i'm like just fucking give me 10 dot points dog it's especially when it's like a learning self-development thing i'm like the seven habits of highly effective just tell me the seven habits yeah i don't have 86 hours to read your fucking life so just then when you said you hate learning and i said i just feel overwhelmed that's exactly what you've just described. Reading specifically for me, it's very hard to read. But when it's audio, and I'm now an audiobook guy,

which is why I like these things because you can get little audio highlights real. Well, but I also like that you know how long it is and you could kind of do that in like one trip or like sitting on the couch or whatever. Anyway, but it's really, really good. And I've, so I, yeah, I've read so far two of books I've already read trip or like sitting on the couch whatever anyway um but there's it's really really good and i've um so i yeah i've read so far two that of books i've already read to kind of see if i thought it was like a good and what age and i think it's pretty good but then it has like a link and it's

like buy this on amazon so it's like if you like the top line of it you could then yeah go buy the whole thing which is probably what you would do. Whereas, you know when sometimes you get like 20 pages into a book and you go, I don't think this is what I either thought it was or wanted to actually read. I've never read the second half of a book. Except for yours, obviously. But it's like, yeah, I know what you mean. You go, oh.

Or you kind of don't really know what's coming. Whereas, I think especially with like self-help or like these kind of like business-y kind of ones and management ones, it's not like you're going to be spoiled. It's not like you go, oh, and by the way, like Voldemort is fucking whatever. Like, you know, like from Harry Potter. No, but does he turn out to be someone? No, he doesn't.

But like, you know what I mean? Like that there's some crazy, like, theatrical spoiler, and then you go, oh, I won't even read the whole thing now because I know what happens. Yeah. It's like you still get a good gist, and then you go, oh, I will put time into that because I like the top line. And what was this one called again?

This one's called Headway. Sick. But it's really good. I, like, really, really like it. That's a hot recommendation. Thank you. Thank you. I also have a recommendation.

It's the Instagram account called We Rate Dogs, and you send your dog in and they like it. That's a hot recommendation. Thank you. I also have a recommendation. It's the Instagram account called We Rate Dogs, and you send your dog in and they rate it. Oh, no. See, I don't like that. Why? Because... No, but it's always a good rate. Oh, good.

It's out of 10 and it's always above 10. So I've got a question. Only recently we... Rated our dog? No. We talked about dog Instagrams and how when they say like, today my humans went to, yeah. Is it like that kind of vibe?

It's wholesome stories. But it's not that shit where it's like, oh, this doggy deserves one. Boop on the snoot and shit like that. Because that makes me want to fucking vomit. You telling me that makes me want to vomit. Have you seen ones that are like that? Yeah. Let me tell you about this dog.

His name is Mallow. Hi, Mallow. And unfortunately, Mallow had terminal cancer. So on this website, the guy, he posted, he said, Hey, everyone in the neighborhood, Mallow's going to be doing his final walk. So if you'd like to like come out and like give him a pat like it's his his final you know lap of the block kind of thing and um this is mellow and his owner hi mellow and then so he he posted these little flies and said yep she's going

to be doing her final walk and um so obviously a well-known dog in the community yeah well it's been cutting laps for ages. Oh, have a look at little Mallow there. Oh, what a sweetheart. What a sweetie. And then everyone came out onto the street. Oh, my internet's dying. But everyone came out onto the street, and it was almost like a lap of honour.

You know, like her final... See, look, the kids made cards and held up little posters. That is so sweet. And they all came and gave big cuddles. See, look at them all gathering around there. They brought up little posters and they all came and gave a big cuddle. See, look at them all gathering around there. The community came out in full force and We Rate Dogs gave it a 14 out of 10.

Oh, that is a good rating. Yep. Yep. That is really, oh, Mello. Oh, rest in peace. Yeah. That's like poor little thing. But she got a beautiful send off.

You know, the other thing that I love is when um people's like dogs like are gonna be put down because they've either got cancer or um and they like their owners take the dog to like kfc or like or whatever like give it like real naughty food because they're like it's your last meal kind of thing like i was thinking kfc because we know someone who on the last day with their dog like yeah're like, yeah, they had their favourite KFC. Yeah. Their dog's been eating KFC. Yeah, probably shouldn't have been. Yeah, that's what I was like.

I mean, how did that happen? He just loves to sing a burger. I'm like, well, okay. But, like, you know, it's that, like, last, I was like, oh, he's always sniffing out my KFC or whatever. I love those stories. I think it's real sweet. What would your final meal be?

For Pippa or? No, for you. For me. Because there's no like, oh, like I'm trying to cut carbs. Oh, no. I'm trying to like, I'm watching you like, yeah, like, wow. Today is it anyway. I guess it's like trying to choose between something that's just like fucked,

like a kebab inside a pizza deep fried, or whether you go like, oh, I love sushi. Like, would you do, you know? I think the first one. Mine changes all the time, but like. The five most fucked and delicious things, just swirl them up, put them together on a plate. I love it when Torbs and I make dumplings,

but I always regret it the next day because I'm like shitting through the iron needle. So maybe I would do a heap of dumplings because I wouldn't have to worry about shitting the next day because I'd be dead. Dumplings it is. Might as well have some five coffees and some pumpkin soup. Yeah. Yeah.

Seal the deal. What would you have? The five foods swirled together on a plate. Are you regretting that now? Do you want some dumplings? Yeah. We're making a batch the deal. What would you have? The five foods swirled together on a plate? You're regretting that now. Do you want some dumplings? Yeah. We're making a batch. No, I'll go dumplings.

I'll go an Eggs Benedict with like a homemade hash. Oh, and because you can't have like dairy and you can't have mushrooms, you can't have avocado. Or fucking anything at the moment. This diet cleanse is fucking. Not a cleanse because you're not a kook, but like you're resetting. Yeah. Just because cleanse.

Well, I would re-reset. I'd re-reset. Un-set. You'd un-set. I would un-set. Go back to your old ways. Yeah. Yeah. Nah, I like that.

For one last night of the jam. One last pleasure. Fucking, yeah. Love that. Anyway. I'll chat to you tomorrow. Bye. Bye.