Toni and Ryan - Kicked Out of Facebook HQ

Episode Date: November 10, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] Sizing crashout - Ryan vs Facebook - TARP confessions - love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So Lily and I flew to Sydney to go to the head offices of META. Are we allowed to say that you had to time an NDA to go to this thing as well? We are. So they go, please bring with you, your sign copy of the NDA and you... I was not allowed in the building. Are you serious? Hi, I'm Molly from Kansas Australia. I'm Alex from St. Louis, Missouri.

Hi, I'm Kendra from Seattle in the US. I approve this podcast. Hello everyone. Welcome to the Tony Ryan podcast. Currently Sands Ryan. And not by choice. We miss him. He sadly. No, he didn't. But there is a surprise part coming in. So I've closed my eyes. Close my eyes. Ryan's coming in. I can hear a plastic bag. Maybe. Or maybe it's the wrapping. paper you've wrapped it in yeah no i just got to get out of the here we go i've spent big money on this um so i don't know what this prop is i also don't know what it's like about or related to oh how's

that work oh no oh no that's not i don't know where that's supposed to go um sorry my life okay talk us through what you're doing what's going on i'm getting at hand all right tony yes you can now open your eyes you're not going to see it I haven't opened my eyes yet because I'm really scared. You're not going to see it. I'm covering it up. Okay. So.

Oh, if you give me the finger. Wouldn't that be so awesome? You've come and you've crinkled this plastic bag. And people who are watching on YouTube will know because they would have seen playing around. All right. So I've spent like a little bit of money. Yeah. But like.

Six American dollars, I believe, was the. Yeah. Oh, plus shipping, which might have been more. So 10 American dollars. So what's that? 500 Australian dollars? Yep. And so.

So it's like kind of a pun, a bit sexy, a bit of a play and it's a bit of a joke. But I just, I just love it and I think you're going to hate it. But I want you to appreciate that I thought of you. I spent the money. I had to go to the post office to get it because they left the fucking slip in the door saying you weren't home. My wife's been home all fucking wake. Not the mood.

Not the mood. Not the mood. It's a sexy mood. Hey. Um, so just to circle jerk back for one second. Is it like you saw an Instagram ad and you went, Tony and you bought it? Is that the kind of energy?

Or do I know what this thing is? No, no, no. So the thing itself is like a bit random. Okay. But it's my delivery of the thing which will get it done. Okay. So... What do you need from me?

You just need to sit and watch the gold. So someone comes up to me and goes, oh, Tony Lodge, is she like real sexy? You work with her? Is she sexy? Yeah. And I went, yeah. Wood Tath. for those playing at home i'm holding a wooden tap

it's crazy that that exists yeah i know um well i hope you like it because they came in a pack of two oh oh you're ready to go again i actually was considering um you know how it's like pretty fucked up how facebook started how he just like they were like rating girls do you know how Facebook that's how it started no I didn't know that it was like like pictures of girls from the school would come up and you'd click like hot or not like it was like a hot or not thing oh anyway I was thinking like we could get an an NT so it would be like

would tap or like wouldn't tap well no because obviously that would be fucked yeah yeah yeah but like what would you do with the other one I is that's what I don't understand is it that would tap each other oh that's nice that's a lot nicer yeah it's a functional tap so you yeah No, it's, like, you pop it in the top of a wine barrel. Oh. Oh, that's what the bottom's for. Like the... Oh, it's a functional tap.

Do you know what? I love that you thought of me when you saw a wood tap. That's really funny. Not the reaction that I... I saw a wood tap and I was like, oh, Tony Ward, would tap that. That's really nice. I really like this. I don't know if I wanted you to like it.

I wanted you to laugh at the joke. You can do a fake one now if you want We'll edit it in Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Charles That was funny for me That's very good Use that one

This is really funny Is it? I think that it's just really taken me by surprise Oh Tony Lodge Would tap Like would you tap that Would tap

I don't think it's getting the respect It deserves I think it's a bit of a grower because the more I think about it, the funny it is. Okay, so keep this in mind, I first saw this three weeks ago. And it's been growing on me for three weeks. And every time I see it, I go, she's going to fucking not love this and it's going to make it even funnier.

But the thing is, is that the more I think about it, though, the more it's making it up because it's just so funny. And it's making me feel really loved. I'll be honest, because that's just really so silly and funny. So is your, your fiancé, Torbs, see pretty hot? What do you think about him? Would tap. It's so good.

It's just. And the fact that it's real and it works? Yeah, the fact that it's real is very funny. Are we going to have to put them away for the rest of the podcast? Yeah, because it's kind of like a fidget toy. It's fun. Yeah. Maybe it's good for anxiety.

Play with that for a second. I've just thrown it to Charles. Oh. The way it flicks is super satisfying, eh? But like it twists around and you can turn the nozzle. It feels like a fidget spinner. Yeah, it's really good for our anxiety. Maybe it's what we need.

Yeah, like it's good, like a tactile toy. I think I'm fucking two enthusiastic thumbs up for the joke. Very good. Thank you. Yeah, I think it's really funny. Thank you very much. Yeah, I'm like, I'm really stoked on that. And I'm so stoked on how stoked you are.

Yeah, I'm loving it. Like, it's just tens across the board. Yeah, this is like, I know we haven't, like, done our KK yet, but like... Oh, and we don't know who we'll get. No, but just, if your gift to me, if you got me... Oh, well, that, yeah. Was just like that you appreciated that, that would be enough. I loved that.

Yeah, great. So much. And I assume this episode will get two million views. Because everyone's going to be like, oh, at least. At least. Should we brainstorm a title based on the woodtap? Let's see how the rest of the show goes. Okay.

Do we want to talk about the fact that I'm wearing this long-sleeved shirt? It's very long-sleeved. It feels like crazy to me. So it's a T-shirt. Well, it's a shirt. It's on a jumper. Oh, I thought it was like a sweatshirt. No, like if you feel it like it's, like it's cotton.

Like the sleeves a bit long. Or is that the style? I think it's the style. Yeah. Lily told me it was stylish. It's cool. She lives in Fitzroy and off. Yeah, it's like actually though.

We need to get. I think it's a bit. it's a bit too big. Like, I think it's actually a bit too oversized, maybe. Yeah. There's a big thing in our house at the moment where Bridge is like, if it's an oversized style, do I get my regular size? Because the style is oversized.

So they, like, build in the oversizedness. But sometimes they don't. They go, oh, it's an oversized style, but like, buy an extra size higher because that's the oversizedness. I'm like, no, the cut. Or they go. up to a certain size and then everybody has to buy

the biggest size for it to be oversized and then people like me who need the biggest size can't get it. Yeah, it's... Because everybody wants it to be oversized. I go, oh, well now I can't get it at all. Yeah, so the oversight... You've maxed me out.

Fashion needs to get together and decide definitively what size is what. Do you know what fashion needs to do? Fuck off. Buy a fucking ruler. a k-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-the-fuck how the fuck are they fucking it up so bad do you know what is crazy to me

so my partner talks in pants I had never seen this before I'd never been this close to a man I didn't understand that men's pants I mean clothing has no gender but like men's pants is sold by like the inch or whatever 36 38 yeah sure and it's supposed to be like

38 inch right but women's clothes just make up a fucking number and throw it in the fire oh what size of you oh triangle thank you so much like it just fucking means nothing fuck you anyway tops literally has like say three pairs of pants and they're all the same size and they're all what did you say 38 or something six yeah it'd be 36 that little butt I've got I have no idea I've got no concept of what that would be so they're all 36 they aren't all the same

size no but it's inches yeah yeah it's not like you don't get to have an opinion on an inch it just it is what it is well I'd love you to have an opinion on my age no no you know it is it's like it's not a concept of a measurement but it is though to them they're like oh this size 36 is inspired by the 36 inch pants yeah or this 36 oh but it's closer to a 20 and you go well they're not the same they're not a literal measurement. I don't get in the car and go,

oh yeah, I'm vibing the 75 kilometres in this 50 zone today. Like, I don't get to do it. Like, it's a fucking standard unit of measurement. Your Honor.

It's not open for negotiation. Why are you finding me for speeding and letting these guys put any number they fucking want on this denim? If a pants, if a pants can be a 36 or a triangle or angel size and they're all the same, then fuck me.

I should be allowed to speed in my pants that it do diet because I didn't know what fucking size to buy. It's not me speeding. It's my tight calves that are gripped by these tight pants. Yeah. I go, oh, yeah, that's about 36 inches. They go, it's not. It's not.

It's, fucking not. So I don't understand how a literal measurement. Well, that's where, there's your first mistake. Yeah. Sorry. I'm sorry. You should be. I'm sorry.

I apologize again. And I've also bought the same style jeans and gone like, I'll get a black denim. and I'll get a blue denim and you go, oh, if I buy the same part of jeans, from the same place, and it's literally the exact same model, and then you go, oh, well, the black fit, but the blue is too tight, they go, oh, well, that's the denim. I go, well, then they're not the same size.

Do you use a... Adjust for the fact that the denim is different. Do you use a different ruler on the black to the blue? Have you decided that a 12 is not the same in the 20? Because apparently... When a 38 is brown, it's actually 12. Oh, did we not tell you? There's actually a very intricate matrix of how you figure out your size.

And the number on the waistband is actually not what you think it is. That's what time of day we made them. Sorry, did we not tell you that? That's actually our schedule of who goes on lunch first. So that's not... Oh, it's actually not related to the size of the pants. That's just who was in line to be the king at that time. So there's actually no way that you could know.

See, that's where you've gone wrong. You've bought a 14 in that pant and a 14 in that pant, but that don't mean the same thing. Yep. They both made it 2 o'clock. Like, are you fucking joking me? What is going on? And then I buy a medium hat that I now can't send back.

And fucking, what are we going to do? How's everyone day going? My pants are too tired. Because they were made in 2 p.m. Were you about to say Annette shows? It's because I sped here this morning. I said the pants are too tight. And it shows.

It's just like a stupid throwaway line I say all the time. But then when they're right. Imagine saying like my pants is too tight. You're like, I can tell. You don't, right. These fit, okay? These ones were made at the right time of day. And the king was the right king and they're the right size.

So where did you get that shirt from? I got it from Aesos. I'd send it back. I've already taken the tag off. Oh, don't you hate that. Oh, because I tried it on and was like, that's slouchy and fun. And then I think that now it's a bit too big. Now that we're in these armchairs, it makes stuff different.

I do think so, yeah. Same. It's the chair's fault. The chair was made at the wrong time. Yeah. The chair was made at 3pm. Wait till you find. And I'm actually a 1 a.m.

Sorry. Wait till you find out that these chairs used to be different and were re-apholstered. That's fun, though, isn't it? Oh, the new denim on it. Yeah. Oh, we got the blue denim chair. That's why they're so small While we're complaining about shit

Love it And we've gone big clothing I'm about to go big tech We went big Hollywood yesterday Yeah I'm going big tech We also went big Vince Vaughn And he is big He's like six foot seven

He's so tall He would fuck us up in a fight Yeah Not even just in a fight Just like He's super famous So like if he was like Fuck Tony Ryan

People would literally Fucking send us death threats But back in the day He was like a heartthrob way back in the day and he had like a tight white singlet and everyone would be like, really?

Yeah. So imagine that and him coming in with his gravitas and being six foot seven. We say all that shit about him yesterday. He walks up the stairs and goes, oh, what did you say? And we both go, nothing. We go, take it up with Michael Jordan. He's my neighbour.

Yeah. He's tall than you. Take it up with the guy that chooses sizes at ASOS. Yeah. You guys duke it out. He comes, so Vince Warren right in this world. He's just walked up the stairs.

Nackered. Because the stairs are... Yeah, it's one step for him. Like, he's gone one leg up and he's fine. Yep. He walks in and he's about to, like, really go us and, like, let us know what he thinks. And then he goes, oh, is that T-shirt too big? Yeah.

Where'd you get those jeans from? Wouldn't have in those shoes. Wouldn't I thought so. I sped here because my pants are two times. I'd uncrash a wedding if this is what I came for. I love Fisher was Australian. She's better than you guys. And I'd actually say...

I'd cop that. Yeah. I would actually I'd go I love Isle Fisher Of all the shit you've said Vince Vaughn today I actually will cop that one

Yeah I'm taking on big tech Big tech So Lily and I flew to Sydney To go to the head offices of Meta Which is Instagram and Facebook

That is crazy Yeah it's crazy And um My invite got lost in the mail No you had a broken foot They would have loved to have had you there I'm very jealous Because didn't you get to see

Maddie McCray Sorry Oh no so am I Oh no So I believe it was Oh my God Oh okay

I believe it was one Tony Lodge 18 months ago Who introduced me to pay ID Yeah And how does that change my life Like Apple ID you mean Yeah Pay ID is different than me

Okay That's when you have your phone number attached to your bank account I don't fuck with that Yeah I do But No but Okay sorry

So Ryan lost his wallet constantly all the time he never had it with you and i was like you should do apple id on your phone because then all your cards are listed you can and all you have to do is carry around your phone so you don't have to have your wallet with you and now that in victoria they do the digital license oh that's also a sticking point but yep okay um you can do the digital license so literally all you have to have with you all the time is like your car keys and your phone it's actually awesome so when we went to the u.s i had my phone my passport and a credit card in my pocket.

Which is just loose. Yeah. Yeah. And so when we went to Sydney, don't even need a passport. Totally. Phone. And I don't even think I'm taking my credit card anymore because you just use the... Well, you just Apple ID, yeah.

So I just went to Sydney. Yeah. And so... So I just went. I would like, it almost, you almost feel nude. Like, because I couldn't have taken less stuff. Yeah. No, I do agree that just having your phone.

Wallet, keys, passport, but not, just... And there is kind of part of you that like, when you're traveling, I think you kind of go, oh, do I need like a backup plan? Yeah. Which is obviously where this is going. But like only having your phone on you, you kind of go, oh, it doesn't feel like enough. Yeah. So we get to Sydney the night before and the next morning we're going in at 10 a.m.

to Meta and Maddie McCrae's there, some other huge creators. And they're going to teach us like Instagram and Facebook and the strategies and meeting the creators. Which is so cool. Yeah. And they're at Barangaroo, which is like the really. fancy and where all the tech companies are in Sydney on the water and stuff and how fucking sick. And are we allowed to, are we allowed to say that you had to sign an NDA to go to this thing as well? We are and let me tell you why. Oh, so the night. Because that is wild to

me. So to get into their office that you had to sign your fucking first born away. See you Mabel. So 10 a.m. in the morning is when the meetup is. And then we get this thing at like 4.55 the night before just before business is closing. 5 p.m. going before before you enter the office tomorrow you need to read this contract and sign this NDA because nothing and it's like you can't take photos in there if you walk past what are they trying to hide that's what are they got the secret to sizing in there yeah they go here's the ruler they're all using yeah um you can't take a photo or look at whiteboards as you like walking through the office because you know if they're having a meeting and you might get the secrets or their new strategy and stuff

and all this stuff is that a bit of fucking so anyway give it a fucking spell you can't do this you can't do that when you go in you have to do this

and we got an individual like word that we had to say to a guy downstairs to get let in it's like a party in New York fucking kidding

so you go out there and you just go squirrel and he goes you're correct yeah and then they go then you come then that guy will bring you in I'm so sorry

but wouldn't it be crazy if your word was squirrel yeah and literally then that guy will bring you in your word can you tell us or no that's the NDA no well oh my god sorry so they go that guy will bring you in please bring with you your signed copy of this NDA so we can like file it who's got a printer at 455 p.m yep who's printing that up bring your signed copy of the NDA and your

physical ID to cross-check the same name as the NDA is on your physical ID. They got digital ID? Nope. Legal, that's legal tender though. They have to accept that. No, they don't. They can do whatever they want to their building.

And we pleaded that case. Don't worry. So, when you're, you can ask me any question you want because I didn't sign the NDA. Because I couldn't, I was not allowed in the building. Are you serious? I didn't go.

I went and had coffee and Lou went by herself. Not just because you were laid or something. No, couldn't go. Can I add something? So. Oh, someone signed an NDA. Yeah. I don't think legally you're allowed to add some.

I literally afterwards and like for lulls. But I was like, so little, how was it? And she goes, can't tell you. Very exclusive. This is really upsetting. So Ryan doesn't have like the digital license on his phone. He has a photo of his physical ID. So the night before he shows me and says, this is fine, right?

And I was like, I don't think that. I've just taken a photo of my driver's license is in my drop box. I've got into nightclubs with that In the US it worked It did Yeah That's fucking crazy Let's set

Okay Action point Let's set up your digital license Not being a dick Let's do that Let's do that Maybe they would have accepted that Turns out it wouldn't have mattered anyway

But it still is probably a good idea I just think let's do that Yeah Do you know when that's happened to me though before remember when my car was fucked for fucking three years yeah and they said we've had your car for so long you're gonna have to come and get a higher car because you don't know what's wrong with her and I went there and they go do you have your license and I went no you didn't tell me I needed that I've got digital license they go oh we can't

take that yeah and then I will and I was like so what and they're like we can uber you back to work if you want and I just still didn't have a car I went all the way there but it's legal tender it's like how you can't refuse cash it's literally Like, it's a legal idea. You have to, you have to accept it. Well, if a digital license isn't accepted, then it's not really a digital license. But this is what I'm saying. Like, they need to get their shit together.

Yeah. Because if the government is literally... What happens to our show? If the government... A beautiful comedy show. It's gone very John Reagan, doesn't it? If the government has endorsed this and made it available, the Audi at Doncaster, don't get to decide whether they accept it on them.

up like that's actually not up to them right well but if it's their business and then i don't get to decide that it's not like a no but like if it's their business they can decide whatever the fuck they want i don't think it is it's the same way that a shop can't not let you pay with cash a shop can do whatever they want it's their shop no legally there are like rules do no one's taking cash these days they legally have to accept coins they legally have to accept cash it's legal tender so they can't tell you that like they might be able to say like we don't have I don't even think that they're allowed to say we don't have change you know like change that's but you have to have a float this is like a thing yeah so I just it's crazy though so I didn't

I mean this is so when you were saying now I don't know if that's right spirit lord.com dot a u. Oh, okay, apologize to me. Wikilor.net. They say it is not illegal to refuse cash in Australia for most private businesses providing your state, your payment policy before the sale. So I'm guessing if they've a sign.

Sure. And they have on the door that we don't take AMX and stuff. Is there a dot gov that says that? Because I don't really believe spirit law, LORA, I'll be honest. Yeah, the ACC.com. You says businesses don't have to accept cash. Fuck. That's a shame.

I've got pretty hard on that. But they should be clear about the types of payments beforehand. What does the ACCC.gov say about pants sizing jars? Yeah, where are we out with fashion? What did they say about La La Land? I'm Molly from Kansas, Australia. I'm Alex from St. Louis, Missouri. Hi, I'm Kendra from Seattle and the US.

You're listening to Tony and Ryan. Hey, we're going to shake off some of the conspiracy-adjacent gear. Oh, we're about to do confession, so it gets... Oh, I will say, though, it's less aggressive. Okay. And maybe we can just, like, enjoy the fun of the confession. I love that. Maybe not, like, pick apart government conspiracies.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that. I will be asking every person I meet for the next 24 hours. For their physical ID. And for their pants size. And for an NDA that they're not going to tell anybody else their pants size. Yeah. Um, quick question, though, I've just remembered that I think, did yesterday you say that there's something you fucked up for the business? Was that the meta thing? Well, we, I mean...

Because you weren't there? Instagram and Facebook is... So why my Instagram account's been cancelled? It hasn't. They took my blue tick away. But as you can imagine, uh, being friends with those guys probably doesn't hurt people in like our game. Absolutely. It would have been great if you were there.

You know, a bit of FaceTime. Yeah. Dogs. No, it would have been great. Great cafes down the road, though. Oh, yeah. So you've got to fucking fuck a chair instead of actually doing your job. That's okay.

That's all right. Take a load off. I did. We all get busy. Yeah. You go, yeah, I just went for a swim. Yeah, just jumped into the harbour. I just went to Barangaroo, whatever it's fucking called.

Anyway, as you shout, no, I love it. Thanks for representing us. Well, tell it to Lil, because she went in there. She goes, you know that podcast with those two people? And they go,

no. And she goes, yeah, well, I work for them. And they go. She goes, you know that podcast

with two people? Yeah, I'm neither of them. One of them's in Melbourne and the others at the foyer looking like a loser. Yeah, and one of them's got his face

pressed against the glass trying to hear the presentation. Massive shout out to a few of our champion Tappas over in Patreon. Monica bearer. Good on you, Menica.

Menica. Menica. Interesting. Monica, maybe. Bella Bueno, okay, that sounds like a hot character that Kinda have created. Like, yeah, a chocolate, like, you know the sexy Eminem? Well, it sounds like an exotic flavor of Nutella. Well, yeah, but like, or that, it's like, want to try Nutella, Ben, Bella Bueno will show you how to do it.

You know what I mean? Like a... Tomorrow on the show. A hot character for their brain. Tomorrow on the show, we're talking about when did you hook up with a customer? Well, Bella Buono. And there's, someone hasn't named, like they hooked up with someone. Yeah.

They didn't include their name, but I'm now going to call them Buena Bueno. Do you want to write it down so we don't forget tomorrow? Yeah. So then when you hear it, when you hear it, you'll go, oh, that's a cute name. Then you go, Ryan decided yesterday to make that up. But when we get in tomorrow, you aren't going to go, what was that name? And we all go, oh. Great question.

I think it was size 14. Yeah, I think it was triangle, angel, baby dinosaur. I actually can't tell you that, Ryan. I've signed an NDA. Yeah. Non-Dick agreement. I hope I don't have to sign one of those with you. Well, you wouldn't survive the day.

I actually wouldn't. Karen Gifford, good on you, Karen, Big Caz. Josh Hales, Kara Starsovich, Nicky Vaughn, Vince Vaughan's wife. Eb, good on your, Eb, Angeline Cantor. I actually wouldn't have thought so. I'm about to piss my son. Hang on. I'm going to thaw.

Actually, that's not her name. I am not even joking. C-A-N-T-A. C-A-N-T-A. You can't-a make this up. Kanta? I've never seen her at the shop before.

Cantor? I don't know what pants size she is. I wonder if she's related to Carla Conti. I reckon that probably is. And you know what? I reckon they both. No, Greg. So true.

Chapter. Cody Perry, Cody Perry. And summer. Summer. Sorry. What are we doing? Confessions. Thank you.

I've got a really sweet you love to say it. And I just want everyone to remember that. Thank you to everyone for being a part of the Patreon. Yeah. Thank you. We really can't do it without you. Yeah. So thanks for messaging through.

Hope you enjoying everything happening over there. calendars on the way Tony's playing footsies with me that's nice that's cute yeah it's actually quite hurts yeah I wouldn't have done that too much more

these are top confessions and that's top confessions Tony and Ryan podcast confessions not top confessions well you don't know that yet they might be a top top confession

you know what I mean you're not listening to me that actually completely destroys the dynamic so I just believe it or not But this show does not work if you don't listen to what I'm saying. I've just looked at my notes and gone to confessions and gone, who's Brenno Brano?

That's for tomorrow. That's for tomorrow. It's thrown me. Yeah, I can tell. Because I was talking to you and you went, blah. I'll just let you do your hair, though. I'm doing it while I'm listening to you, not like you, don't even listen. I'm a man.

I can't multitask. Yeah, that's true. But I'm not asking you to do one simple thing. While I'm doing to me. Uh, Tony and Ryan.com.com. Is where you can submit your confessions. Very anonymous. I was burning the evidence behind the back shed at 6 a.m. in the morning.

Oh. My roommate came out after smelling the smoke and asked what happened. And I said to her, Do you really want to know? Burning the evidence. I extend that question to everyone currently listening to the podcast. Oh, okay, a bit of editorial from our... Do you really want to know?

Well, I have to say yes, because if I say no, we'll move on to the next one, which is about a... Well, the next confession is about a parrot. Oh! But do you want to know? Yeah, I want to know. 6am burning stuff. That is crazy. I took too many magnesium tablets before bed and I shat myself in my stomachs.

sleep you know how magnesium kind of loosened you up a little i did not know that oh yeah big time are you sure yep can confirm well everything loosens you up yeah like including emodium doesn't even fucking work on you though emodium loosens me up you quite literally shit right through yeah emotium hardly no one but actually like so maybe you're not the perfect person to ask i don't think i've ever taken a magnesium tablet but do you know what i get ads for on Instagram all the time those magnesium sprays that like oh if you've got sore muscles like spray the spray on you torbs is like it doesn't work didn't we like he's just like don't do that Tony it's not true private conversation yeah didn't we have like magnesium gummies that's one stage

okay you don't have to whisper it's not magnesium is above board yeah but like what else is in those do you mean melatonin it had both yeah no yeah but you're thinking of melatonin No, but magnesium, no, because they're all, whilst obviously different, similar, because magnesium relaxes the muscles. Yeah. But it also, like, if you have too much, it can, like, loosen more than the muscles. Yeah, or loosen your asshole. Yeah, so it doesn't surprise me that there would be gummies that have both melatonin and magnesium because it would be a similar energy. But melatonin's not illegal.

But what else is in the gummies? No, no. So why did I only have the gullies in another country and I didn't have them here? No, it's just because we bought them to the U.S. because we were going to be jet-lagged. Dragmules. No, then it's fine. We took them to the US

because we were going to be jet-lagged, not because they're illegal. And the ones we took have both melatonin and magnesium in it. The lemmy sleep. But it's not, you don't have to go, Private chat.

You actually can't get them in Australia anymore, though. I bet. Yeah, they have. I wonder why. I wonder why. All melatonin or just those ones. Melatonin without a script from the doctor Really?

Yeah Oh my God First be A triple C And the fucking cash legal tender And now this I just want to buy some melatonin with cash And you go And now I can't do anything in this nanny state

Yes It's actually easier to get weed here Than melatonin with cash I mean you also need a script for weed Oh like if you're baron it from Billy down the road I saw two drugs Stick house is still a thing. What's the stick house?

Oh, okay. Do you actually not know what a stick house? Oh, fucking hell. I saw two drug deals yesterday. What? No, the one that you saw on the DJ said on YouTube, it wasn't. It was a babe. No, it was.

That was a good pickup, though. It was, but it was a fake. Detective Dunn fucking doesn't miss out. Yeah, you don't miss a thing. Yeah, and then I'm pretty sure I was walking Bronn last night and like two cars pulled up. Like, I'm pretty sure. I mean, that does sound. Probably more.

Yeah. What's a stick house? What's a fucking help. I don't. Is that like stick season when they sing that song? Nah. So it's like there were like houses like in the neighborhood. Mm-hmm. And they would just hang out out the front or like on the porch or whatever.

And you could just go into the front yard and people, some people. We'd be like, gay, Tone. Some, well, some people would go in there and then give them the cash and they would just buy a stick. then, but I think that a stick is a very Perth term. I don't think that people call it that, but it's just like a 25 of the devil's lettuce. It just sounds like the place where the drug dealer hangs out. Well, no, so, but it would be like, so the stick house, yeah, but you could go there and buy a stick.

And a stick is $25 worth of weed. But that's what, it's, it's probably not that anymore. What are they paying these days? No idea. How much are our gummies? Um, they're not, they're not lead. But, um, yeah, that was back in the day. Because you could, like, yeah.

And that's what I've heard. So. But is that still a thing? I would like people to let me know if that is still a thing. Let's go to Perth and find out. I know where that one is. We could just go to that house. How long since you've been there?

Oh, fucking years. Like years and years and years. Like decades. I haven't bought weed in like, fucking since I was like. 10. No, since I was like 20. Yeah.

I read, oh, maybe not even. Like, these are tough confession. That's my confession. But I remember where that house is. It's right. Do you, did you ever go to Kelmscott? Like in Perth? Yeah.

Yeah. Because I grew up and Rolley. Don't say where it is. Nah. You've already said way too much. No, no, no. Okay. Does anybody know the one I'm talking about?

No, no. No, they don't. No, they don't. No, they don't. No, they actually don't. Near the licensing center in Kelmscott. Tell me, let me know if you know. where I'm talking about.

We can't, you're outing them. Nah, no, no, no, I'm drumming up business. Yeah, there's like nine million houses around there. Use the code Tony Lodge for 10% off. Nah, that's just where I heard it is. Lil, Charles, can you like magnesium if you had too much, like your tummy, get a bit? Oh, fuck, we're still on. I checked that, yeah, it loosens your bowels, apparently.

Interesting. All muscles, including your boughs. So it was magnesium or melatonin? Magnesium. Okay. I took too much magnesium. Melaton. No.

Stop saying the word melatonin. But you said melatonin before. No, you brought that up. No, you. It was a magnesium? I took too many magnesium tablets before bed and I shat myself in my sleep. Oh. Not sure if it was because I was too relaxed to wake up or the overdose of magnesium really sets things off.

Because it could be neither. Yeah. to shoot yourself. I woke up to this awful smell and thought, oh, the dog's chat. And then I remembered. The poor doc. And then I remembered, oh, no, the dog's outside. And I froze when I'd realized what I'd done.

Oh. No. Surely not. I whispered to myself. I stripped the bed in silence, bagged the evidence like a crime scene, and then burned the sheets behind the shed, which is what was happening when my roommate came outside. why would you burn them just tie them up in a plastic bag and throw at the bottom of the bin and set the bin on fire correct but that would stink yeah but then it's gone what do you mean

it's not a fucking murder it is it's a murder of cleanliness it's a murder of cleanliness but like just throw it in the bin just burn it down and start again i'm for it burning it that would stink Can you imagine what burning poo would smell like? Yeah, imagine. Oh, oh. No, I actually, yeah, it would be a fact. But I think it's more like the actual sheets and all the whatever. Just throw it out.

I'm not being like, oh, scrape it off and clean them. I don't give a fuck. Throw them out. That's fair. She did. Into the fire. But just throw them in the bed. Like, if you tied them in a big garbage bag, no one would be able to smell it.

And no one's like going through your rubbish. And if they are, they deserve to find your pooey sheets. Chapter. Like, don't be such a pest. Get out of my bin. so true um here's another confession that's good my parrot listens to me get railed i tell people my parrots are rescued from a brothel because it's less embarrassing than the truth i don't think it is i'm going to make a judgment right there i don't think that's worse my parrot

has learned to mimic my bedroom noises you know how they like repeat what you say I don't think they do I think that's a scam I think when people say that parrots can talk it's like a recorder or something The other day my parents visited and the bird

locked eyes with my dad and screamed Yes daddy From his cage Like he's in 50 shades of grey The bird edition The brothel story seems strange But honestly

It's less humiliating than emitting my dad To my dad That the bird heard me rooting there's just so much there um that's why i'm not a bird guy you know i don't think that birds can talk though i don't really get that but they literally can but how because they hear it and repeat it but how well how do you talk so true hmm but birds only can say allegedly, like a couple of things.

Yeah, and this one can say, yes, daddy. That is really embarrassing, though. Yeah. Like, that is very embarrassing. I don't... If your bird could talk, what would it say? It wouldn't say anything because I would never get a bird.

Like, that it's not related to. I would never in my life buy a bird or end up in the... With a bird in my home. If there's a bird in my house, a window's broken. Like, something's gone terribly wrong. Last night, there was a wasp in the house. Really?

And do you remember when we had all those wasps? Remember that day I was sitting on the couch? I got stung by a wasp. No? Like a year ago. No. And we had all these wasps, and we had to get a guy, and he came. Oh, no.

He was the strangest guy. What, a guy that gets rid of strange bees? He was weird. Yeah. Fucking shocked. He was the strangest guy of ever, man. Oh, actually. Like a pest exterminator guy.

Cray to God, you never have a snake in your house. Wow. Not one of those. No, but like the guys that come and get the snakes. Oh. They're psychos, too. But they kind of have to be because like... Did you meet us?

Did you have a snake in your house? Where I've seen videos. Sure. No, because sometimes they rock up and they're like doing a Steve Irwin impression on it. Like, you know, mate, heard you had a fucking bland brown carpet in here. You know, like a black brown carpet snake. Where are you at? I watched a video the other day of someone getting a snake out of a house.

And it was an enormous rattlesnake. And it had like wrapped itself around the dog's bowl, like where the water was. And it was in kind of like a little covered thing. Snakes are fucked. Well, the dog started barking and the people were like, shut up. Like, what's wrong? And then they heard it like the actual rattle of the tail. And they were like, what the fuck is that?

and they went around there and it's his enormous fucking rattlesnake and like a little white like chow chow dog like oh she would just swallowed that thing whole 1,000% and then yeah ranger fucking rick comes in yeah and he goes boy he's like it's american just grabs it by the face and he's like oh it's a big one you know but he's american oh it's a bag one you know he's not a california hot girl that's a really big sneak That is 100% not what he sounded like. That is a huge sneak. That's what he said.

Oh my God. That is the biggest sneak I've ever seen. What we should do is get an episode of, you know, is it called porn hunters? I thought you read about it. Is it called porn hub? I'm like, oh, yeah. We all know what it's called. Where they're like, they're real like, oh, I found this old fucking thing on the front of the motor and they give you cash.

Oh. It's like Hal 7 made. Porn hunters. Like, it's a porn shop. It's not called porn hunters. What's it called? I don't know, but this is what pops up when you search porn hunters.

I thought you were saying porn hunter, like P-O-R-N. Type in P-A-W-N. I know. You're thinking of porn. Porn. Yes. And there's also hardcore porn. Yes.

Yeah. Oh, so they make sense. I just thought you said. Can you just bring that up to us just so we can have a look at the kind of people on that show. We know the guy. It's a great show. All right.

So it's that kind of, yeah, that guy. Yeah. Oh, my God. This sneak is enormous. Yeah. So what we're going to do is going to take the audio out of that show and Tony's going to revoice the characters in that voice. Yep.

Oh, me, God. We'd love to buy this Disney cookie jar. It's always weird shit. It is. It's the best. I got to love to see it. And this is going to, I think, bring us back to where we need to be. Okay.

Because I feel like we've been. emotionally and politically charged. If I text you in the podcast group, will you get that? I don't know. Let's find out. Let's find out. Because I've just found this guy on TikTok and he's the fucking man. I'm so sorry.

The text. That was what my phone just said is from Torps. Yeah. All capital letters. What the fuck it was all capital letters fuck I just got a spoiler for real housewives of Beverly Hills fuck you call her daddy why didn't you think to call her daddy so what's stranger look at the message all caps All caps.

Can I say? The message apart. I'm going to piss. I'm going to piss. Yeah, the message above it is the funniest auto-correct of all time. I'm actually going to piss myself. I'm going to hold my wood tap. This is how I'll be now.

Yeah, it got wood. So I'm guessing. I don't get her. Fuck, I just got spoiled for real eyes of Beverly Hills. Fuck, you call it. Does he listen to call her daddy on the way to work? I'm guessing it was like a. He saw a real...

He follows Alex Cooper? Probably. Yeah. We love her. You would. But also... We would. Yeah.

Torbs is... That's a... No, but we watched the show together. Gotcha. The... Oh, yeah. No, the message above it is a hilarious or incorrect. So I'm guessing he's tried to say

Leaving Work Now, Baby. He tried to say Babunya. What's Babunya? That's just one of the many billions of things we call each other. Because if he called me baby, I would... throw up and die. Yeah, I was going to say, that's not for us. So he's tried to say,

leaving work now, babunya. Yeah. And he said, leaving work now, baby bonus. Which are for those playing along at home, wasn't it like 15 years ago where,

in 2010, if you had a baby, they would give you 10 grand or whatever. 300 bucks. No, it was like 10 grand. Really? Or you got a,

yeah. Maybe it was 5 grand. But like, but you got it over the course like you got $1,000 a month. Oh, okay, yeah, but the government was like $5,294 paid in 13, four nightly installments of $407.

There you go. All I, I would just really like some acknowledgement there. Because I have fucked up a lot of stuff today. I've gone really hard with a lot of facts today. Tony says what? So basically, sorry,

that is just such a funny message to get. So basically, Australia doesn't have a huge population Well, there was like a birth decline Yeah, and so the government, during the election, they go, oh, I know what it'll get some votes Everyone that has a kid gets a baby bonus Yeah

So how's the last night? We're trying to get our baby bonus Earned five grand by you The government goes, oh, that root cost us five grand They're watching us Poked a hole in that condom I'll give some cash rip my IUD out

that we want a flat screen TV Sorry that was super crappy I was texting you that video Oh my God, yep And play the audio Because this guy is the vibe that we need I reckon we should hire him I love this guy

Dude what is about being in your 30s That like a weekend of nothing Is fucking ripping dude I love this guy Dude I have zero plans this weekend And that is very rare Dude, I'm living a life of leisure this weekend, just like my hot at homeies in the Shire, dude. Plans consist of deleting this cup of stoke right here and enjoying Mama Natch for my back porch, dude.

Kill the motor, dude. You guys earned it. I just love the way that he's like, when you're in your 30s, that is fucking ripping, dude. He's just the best vibe. If you want to... I love this guy. I watched that one and I went, who is this guy? I followed him immediately. And now...

He's awesome. And every time I see him, I'm just like, oh. Yeah. Give me whatever, give me a bit of that in my veins. And don't you want that? You want to be that guy. Yeah, I want to be that guy. He's who I love to see.

This was not my love to see it. But now that we're on this vibe, I think that this is exactly what we need to recommend because I sent you this guy the other day and we're fucking all about it. Who is the guy that parks the trailers? Oh, yeah. Because I have started following this guy and I said it to Ryan.

He was like instant follow. And this guy, like lip-sync songs, he's got like eight cameras set up in his, um, the cab of his truck. Yeah. And he, one-hander reverses and parks a truck in one go while singing and lip-syncing and filming himself. It is I fucking conic. It's huge. Do you know the guy we're talking about, Charles? I do and I'm trying to find him.

Oh, do you know what? This is not in a wanky way. It'll be in my notifications because I've got a comment going real hard on one of his videos. um i know that he um not yet fuck that comment has 2,344 likes what does you say? That's pretty good I said not me needing a reverse camera to park my hatchback six weeks ago that's so good that's a good comment he's uh

thank you so much his uh uh handle is Alex Bibbage A L E K S B I J and his videos go fucking hard Pop it on the screen. He's a legend. He's so fun. Yeah, we'll put the details up. But yeah, that's my love to see it because he's awesome. And another good vibe.

Great vibe. Great vibe. Speaking of great vibes. Yeah. Tomorrow you're going to hear a story about Bueno Babucha. Because I don't know if you know this, Tony. But tarpers who work at places are hooking up with customers. And tarpers who are customers of places are hook up with customers.

up with the staff we've said sent like tomorrow they're not like funny they're like from limchaffirm 6th and midnight that is fucking ripping do for tomorrow show just trying not on just listen out loud headphones like headphones don't listen out loud mute no like don't just like play it out loud in public oh like if you're driving put the windows up oh because you're going to want to lock in and you probably want to cock in you're going to want to after you hear some of these stories when you hear about wano beaver you're going to be like fuck that is hot yeah no that's his brother Justin beaver Justin bwano all right yeah love you have you seen that today's episode was a bit weird

Is you saying Bueno and Butthead? No. Beavis and Butthead. Can I go on? Can you? Yeah. Please. Love you.

Bye.