Toni and Ryan - LENergy

Episode Date: September 23, 2024

Some confessions and Ryan's new mate - or maybe - old mate???? Love ya xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur, best selling Dr. Arthur, Tony Lodge, and we are calling Burlington in Washington. That's the place, not the name. Andrew. Hello, Burlington.

Mr. Burlington. It does sound very fancy, doesn't it? So like Burlington coat factory, like a fancy fur place. I'm not, cause there's a. Hello. How's it going? It's Tony and Ryan. Have we caught you off guard? Like a fancy fair place. I'm not cause there's a- Hello? Hi Andrew! Hi Andrew!

How's it going? It's Tony and Ryan. Have we caught you off guard? Oh no, no, I was waiting for it. Oh sweet. Now how long have you been listening to Tony and Ryan, Andrew? I didn't quite catch the beginning,

but close to the beginning. I think I missed the first four, five months. So two and a half years? Yes, that sounds about right. Okay, and how old is your son? He is one now. Okay, so just to confirm, we've been in your life in a bigger and better part than the kid.

That's just what I wanted to get to. Yes, you've been a bigger part of my life than my son has. Hang on though, but your son has been a top of what, 100% of his life. Oh that, yeah. But only a small percentage of your life. So I don't know. Maybe your son should be approving it.

Drew feels like. If he could talk, you would be. What's his, what's his name, Andrew? His name is Jensen. Jensen. What a legend. Well, tell Jensen we said, hi, will you approve today's episode? Oh, fuck yeah, I will.

Oh, yeah. Amazing. Legend. Hi, my name is Andrew from episode? Oh, fuck yeah, I will. Oh, yeah. Amazing. Legend. Hi, my name is Andrew from Washington, and I approve this podcast. ["FUNKY WEEKEND"] All right, coming up today, not only are we doing confessions, but there's a guy I met on Craigslist who's

a lot older than me and has been hooking me up with some sweet goods for a decade now. Craigslist though, was it actually Craigslist or was it like Gumtree in Australia? No, I think it was Craigslist or it wasn't Gumtree. Because Craigslist never really took off here the way that it did like obviously in America. Yeah. It wasn't Gumtree. It wasn't the dark web either, but it was like a murky, like it was, yeah, it was pretty, pretty, pretty cool. Are we allowed to say this person's name? Did you already say the name?

Cause I think the name adds to the store. No, Len. I feel like his name being Len adds to the mystery. Len and I have had an interesting relationship for a very long time. All right. And I'm going to share that with you today. Hope you didn't buy him an Orchid. Maybe that's what you should do.

Should I have bought, yeah, I'm just like, should I have bought Lin? He might be an awkward guy. Yeah. But you wouldn't know. Why wouldn't I? I don't actually know much about Lin besides what happens backstage at the Melbourne Comedy Theatre. What does that mean?

Yeah, we'll get there. Okay. First of all, just some light, fun confessions. Oh my gosh. Which, spoiler alert, not that light and not that fun. Never are. No, no, no, no. Submit your, these are top confessions.

So tonyandryan.com.au. And that's top confessions, Tony and Ryan podcast confessions. Yep. My vibrator was vibrating on the floor behind me during a work zoom call. Oh. So she hadn't like realized, oh, click that meetings on it. Yeah, great. And then it was out of sight, but you could a hundred percent definitely hear it.

Oh. So if this happened to you, you listening listening to the show today and you turn your lodge, what do you do? Do you like laugh it, acknowledge happy red face for a second, but then you just turn it off and get on with it? Um, straight face lie to your colleagues. I go halfway in the middle because I can't stop talking. I can't lie. Like I'm really bad at lying. So I choose not to.

However, in this situation, I'm probably like, Oh, one of people's toys. Um, is, you know, and then I'd over explain the thing. Yeah. When Tony starts over explaining, you know, she's fucking up to no good. Yeah. And then I go, can you just, I'll tell you later what it is. Like, I just can't tell you the truth right now. So I'd probably go down that path of like, Oh, so can you just, I'll tell you later what it is. Like, I just can't tell you the truth right now. So I'd probably go down that path.

I was like, Oh, so can you hear that? There's construction next door or something like that. Our confessor says, Oh, no, not the construction. I, with a straight face, just look straight into the camera on zoom and said, what? Gaslighting was the option. She tried gaslighting. Then she panicked and realized, no, because then everyone muted themselves. And it was like, you know, they like, they kind of fucking added her because

she just put, Oh, this must be a buzz on the, on the zoom link. Yeah. And then everyone's muted and go, no, it's. It's you. My toothbrush. I live in a quiet house in a quiet quiet street, in a quiet suburb. But I let my colleagues believe there is construction happening just outside my window. Must be the machines from next door.

Yeah, fuck. I mean, you got to really back that in. Yeah. But you can just imagine that moment where you just and she kind of turns around and goes, oh, or like you said, I should you just, oh, it's actually there's a sex toy buzzing behind me. I'm going to turn that off. I'm going to push on with the meeting and everyone goes, oh, okay. But most workplaces you wouldn't be able to do. Like we obviously could. Like if we were on a meeting and something like that happened and I say, guys, I need to turn my sex toy off. I'd never hear the end of it.

But like in a good way, that would be like, oh, fucking getting one away in the morning, you know, like that would be hot and I would be fine with it. Just trying to warm up for the day. You know, and I think that that would be fine. And we would talk about on the pod and it would be like light and fine, very sex positive for us. Like if you work in a fucking corporate job, you can't like laugh that off with like Jenny from fucking corporate and fucking like the big dogs are in their room.

Someone's going to send an email to HR and be like, you're going to get lit up. And also are they then like, were you masturbating on company time? Yeah. Or maybe it was a nine o'clock meeting. I mean, I was only masturbating from 8.30 to 8.57. Then I clocked off. I love that you couldn't figure out how long to say you'd been masturbating. How long does one use a sex toy for?

Yeah. I could see the mental man's thinking over. I could see you trying to think. Is it a few minutes? How long would a sex toy for? Yeah. But I love, I can see the mental man's thinking and I can see he trying to fit back in the tub. How long would you use one for? Is it a few minutes, get the job done, move on? Or is it like, I settle in for the afternoon? Depends how much time you've got, isn't it? Well, it sounds like she's got a meeting at nine o'clock.

Cause like you could get it away in 20 seconds if you needed to, couldn't you? Like guns in my head. Well, actually that would make it even faster. Well, you wouldn't know. Yeah. But like, if you're not, you know, like, you that would make it even faster. Well, you wouldn't know. Yeah. But like if you're not, you know, like, you know, you're not, you know yourself. So if you had to, if you had 10 seconds, you could fuck and get it away. I reckon 10 that's okay. Well, I said just, I just

said 20. Yeah. 10s too soon. 20s was like, that sounds painful. What do you reckon Sophie? So you don't have to answer that. Redacted HR. You don't have to answer that. I'm moving the heat off me. Redacted HR, you don't have to answer that. Sorry, redacted. Let's move on to the next one, which is a clean and wholesome confession that starts with anonymous men having sex in a phone. How long do you use a sex toy for? That is so funny to me.

Let's find the range. Who's used it for the longest and who's used it for the leastest. And I bet it's the same person with the highest and longest and the slowest. You know what you just gotta have like it. Just get one off. Get it away. Yeah. You could do that quickly.

And also if you were like. 10 seconds is crazy. OK, well then maybe that was hyperbole. However, I guess like if you just had to get one away, you could get it, like, you know yourself. Yeah, but- And if you just had to fucking get it in, get it out and get it done, you could.

You did say 10 seconds though, which is fine. Okay, well, I'm sorry for saying 10 seconds. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm so good at it. No! Yeah, you amateurs over there taking minutes. Nah, I'm just like, I guess I'm just like, you're good at fingering. Redacted, redacted.

No, that's not redacted. No, that's not redacted. But you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You blushing. Yeah, I know. I feel bad for saying fingering. And it just, I mean, it just probably is.

I never feel bad for saying fingering. And it just, I mean, it just probably, I never feel bad for saying fingering. Especially if it's before, do you want some fingering? Fuck today is a, this week is a fucking rough week. Yeah. There is a local park in my area that I go to to have anonymous sex with other men. Hot. Myself and this guy give each other the look. And suddenly we're in the back of his Mercedes. I thought they were fucking in the park.

They meet in the park and then, well, you know. And also if you had a Mercedes, you'd flex it. You're, oh, let's go back to my car. Yeah. It's that one. We get to the penetrative part and we had to figure out like in the car, how we actually like, got to do this. And I said, logistics chat. The other guy turns me back around and says, logistics chat. How do you know about that?

Then I said, are we tough as in the wild? And we both laughed and high fived. It was so funny. We couldn't stop laughing until he fucked the absolute shit out of me. In 10 seconds. You guys, how long did you hear his sex toy phone? I was like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. seconds. You guys, how long did you hear his sex toy for?

How long does it take you to get this Mercedes into fifth gear? That is amazing. Is that a, is it, well, it is amazing, but is it a compliment? Is it great? Is like, what's your, what's your a compliment? Is it great? What's your emotion hearing that Tony Lodge? First of all, wow, Rich Tappers driving Mercedeses. That sounds pretty crazy. Also, I love that the phrase logistics chat has entered into people's lexicon.

Yeah. Because I love it. And enter the lexicon of gay beats in parks. That's hot to me. of gay beats in parks. That's hot to me. I think that's cool. Would you? How amazing that they both were like, we're tarpers.

Hope they topped up. Calm down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I know. Safety first then teamwork.

I know for the last 11 years, together for 10 banging for 11 or whatever we're up to, that you have wanted Torbster banging in public and he refuses. Public bathrooms have been on the table for one of you, not for the other obviously. What if we are like, what would happen? Like is this like a fantasy if Torb is like, meet me in this park? No. I'll bring the Mercedes. No, I think. Top up sweetheart. No. I'll bring the Mercedes. No, I think.

Top up, sweetheart. No, I don't think he would do it. But like. I don't think he would do it. Like for your birthday. So cliche. No, I don't. I don't think that he would do it.

And it's actually fine. Like, I'm happy to respect his thing, but it's just like when we're out. Let's go to the Carlton Gardens. Do you know what's really crazy about it? Is that I think I always suggest it because I know he's going to say no. Gotcha. So then you don't have to actually do it. Well, not about not actually doing it, but it's because it's not an empty offer.

But I think that then if he was like, all right, I go, oh, we can't. Yeah. Like I think that I would be like, Oh, all of a sudden so shy. Yeah. But that's, and he was just like, it's on today. Yeah. No. And then I'd panic. Yeah. And then he pulls up and he's Mercedes. I mean, jobs got a Mercedes. Where did that come from? Yeah. Yeah.

It's like, do we need to chat about finances? He's like, it's not the time. He's like, yeah, yeah. No, no, I'm doing this sexy thing right now. I rented it for the afternoon. He's like, I rented it for 10 afternoon. He's rented it for 10 seconds. Just a quick one. Quick whip round.

Hi, this is Andrew and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. I absolutely love to say thank you for being part of the whole thing. Good to have you guys on board. Deanne Elliott, good on you Deanne. Alicia Williams, Matthew Gilmore. Do you know that apparently they're making another Happy Gilmore? They are Happy Gilmore 2 on Netflix. Yeah.

So is it a sequel or are they remaking the original? No, it's got Adam Sandler. It's got, I think, Shudin McGavin's back. Does it have Julie Bowen in it? She is going to be in there, I believe. Yes, as well, who's the reporter. So it's like, I assume it'll be like a happy Gilmore 20 years later kind of energy. So it's not a remake.

It's like a, yeah. That's so fun. And apparently it's going to have. I love happy Gilmore. It's going to have a lot of cameos and stuff. I might. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was probably the first move. And apparently it's going to have a lot of cameos and stuff. I'm a yeah. That was probably the first movie just like for me being like a silly little boy.

Yeah. Just like the perfect time for a movie like that to come out. And I just thought it was so funny. Yeah. I'm still doing it. To the nightclubs. I used to sing that all the time. Oh yeah.

Every time I went to a friend's house that had a doorbell, I was like, I'm gonna listen. I wanna touch you all over and over and again. I wanna touch you all over. To the night closes in. To the night closes in. So good. So I don't know what just happened for the last 30 seconds, but I just blacked out and saw dots, but yeah. Thank you.

Thank you so much. Caroline Cranford, Nikki and Jade. And you know what I actually, Matthew Gilmore probably gets that a lot. Yeah, he probably would. And I'm really actually quite sorry for that. That or Gilmore Girls. I thought you were going to say they're doing a reboot

of the Gilmore Girls and that's something we don't need. I've never watched Gilmore Girls. Like, it's not, it never just like, because it's shit. Is, is it though? Bridget used to watch it all the time and they just speak so fast and nothing ever happens. And they just like, speak so fast and nothing happens. It sounds like this podcast. No, but like in fairness In fairness to Lorelei.

In fairness, who's Lorelei? Yeah. That's one of the people, isn't it? I don't know. Yeah. I couldn't get a word in. That is like this show. They're not talking to you.

Well, I don't feel like that. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. But I've, I've never watched it. I know that it's a lot of people's like comfort show, but I reckon the thing with Gilmore Girls is like, it's the nostalgia of like watching it when you're growing up and if you watched it for the first time now, it wouldn't be good.

It's the same with like charmed and stuff. Like if you watched it back in the day, it's fun to watch now, but like. Got a recommendation for you though. Is it charmed? Uh, no, but it's the same actress. What's it Shannon Doherty who passed away recently rest in peace. Bridget and I have started watching Beverly Hills 90210 from the start. Oh, you did tell me about that.

Yes. That fucking goes off. Does it actually? So funny. It's the best. Cause I was, you know, you watch some things and you go, ah, it doesn't really. Yeah. It is so good.

And sometimes you watch and you go, Oh, that's such a cliche. And I'm like, no, but this is where it started. It wasn't a cliche when they did it. Yeah. The peach pit. Yeah. But it's hilarious. And then you see the parents and they're like so old and they're like 31. Yeah. And you go, oh, so different. Yeah. And the hair and the fashion and the like storylines are just so it is an incredible show 10 out of 10 recommend this week and I think it's on prime or something. Yeah, right.

Yeah. What are we talking about? Oh, Len. Well, it's AFL grand final week this week. Our hawkers also rest in peace. Not in there. Not dead. We'll be back next season.

Absolutely. Yeah, back next year. So we're not in it. But, oh, Katy Perry is performing. Yeah. Which is a choice. Do we, is it like the Super Bowl of Australia? Is that too, is that too strong a thing? That is the comparison I would give it, that it's not the same.

No. But that's what they think it is. They'd love it to be that. But like, it's got that, like it's a big- I think everybody is, I know this is what we're talking about and I'm not trying to get like up on my soapbox, but I reckon everybody's really fucking hard on the people that like do the half time thing in Australia.

And like you can't win. It doesn't matter who does it. It doesn't matter how good it is. Everyone is a fucking DCI about it. And so like I try not to engage because it would be really tough. Famously, another rest in peace, Meat Loaf did it fucking 15 years ago

and it was the worst thing ever. And so the like- I think he's banned from Australia because it was so bad. Or he's like, I'm never coming back. Well, that's multiple reasons, I guess. But like at the time he was like- He was like, and now it's kind of like, oh, that was multiple reasons, I guess. But like at the time he was like,

It was like, and now it's kind of like, oh, that was worse than Meat Life. It's like the nasty thing to say about it. And the tweets go off and it's fucked. But like, I don't know. I think that, you know, G Flip did it a couple of years ago. They were awesome. Robbie Williams was fucking awesome.

The Killers did it. They were awesome. Birds of Tokyo have done it. That was great. Like, and so I just hate that it's now become this thing where it's like, Oh, who's going to fuck it up this year? Cause I'm like, Oh, think about how nervous you'd be. It gets to be Katy Perry, apparently.

Yeah. Um, so when Hawthorne was playing in the grand final back in 2015. Were you at the game? I was because of this guy called Len. Oh, you lent to see it. You lent to see it. So, oh my lenta. So, forethought makes the grand final.

And to use the Super Bowl comparison, like you just don't know when your team's going to be back there. It doesn't, it could not happen for another 20 years or so. And I was like, I'm not going to miss out on this opportunity. So I, I do believe it was Craigslist or if not Craigslist, like murkier than Gumtree. Like a message board. Really in the weeds.

Cause I looked everywhere and emailed everyone and used all. I was about to say, so were you working in radio at the time and you're like, I reckon I'll be able to find someone. I'm pulling all the strings, all the strings. And I couldn't find much. You're like, I'll carry Meatloaf's bags. If that's what it takes. I will carry Meatloaf's bags.

And I just... Just couldn't get it. Except I found Len. Now Len's deal, right, is he gets a membership every year. Yep. Which includes a grand final ticket. And his idea is when my team make the grand final, I'll go and watch. And when they don't, I'll flip that for cash and it will cover my actual whole membership.

So I can go to my team's games all year for free kind of thing. Like that's Len's game. That's the game Len is running. Right? Should we do that? Well, here, this is where you're not going to like this. Oh, you're not allowed to do that. 100% no, it's non-transferable.

Oh, well, it's not Len. It's actually Glenn. Yeah, it's Glenn. It's Glenn. So he's dropped the G. Because I thought I go, how good he's like cash. How much do you remember? It was $400. And that- Oh, actually maybe it was more than that.

I feel like that for one ticket. It was 10 years ago, 2015. For a single random ticket. So with inflation, $1,000. It was $10 million. Man, have you seen the inflation last few years? Oh, God, it's crazy. Economic shock.

So I just assumed it was like some transferable, like, yep, here's the seat. All good. Yeah. So I meet Len in an alleyway behind the Melbourne comedy club. Hang on. What? This is fucking escalated very quickly. So you message this guy. And I go, Hey mate, I'm flying into Melbourne.

I'm going to go to the game. What's the deal here? And he goes, well, you have to come and get the physical. Cause you know, it's pre like barcode chat. It's like, I've got the ticket. Oh'm going to go to the game. What, what's the deal here? And you guys, well, you have to come and get the physical because you know, it's it's pretty like barcode chat. It's like, I've got that ticket. Oh, you can't just email it over. Yeah.

And so he goes, meet me in the laneway between the Melbourne behind the Melbourne comedy theater at midday. Just to add some excitement. Well, no, I don't want to fucking out this guy. It was 10 years ago, fuck it. Whatever. Um, he's like doing the matinate that afternoon. Oh, he's like a comedy guy.

Well, he, well, theater and he was like, yeah, I'm in the ensemble of the fucking like whatever. So can you meet me at the side door during the fucking intermission and I'll come out and give you the fucking ticket. So I'm like, yeah, okay, right. I mean, it's like the stage door of the fucking he's like, we're actually practicing to be the halftime show at the game. I'm actually Katy Perry. No, no, no. So he seems not in it. And so he's like, meet me in the side door. I'll fucking hook you up. You you up. You bring the cash, cash. So I'm there with cash and I go in and he goes, yeah, yeah.

So here's the deal. They're actually like non-transferable. So thanks for the cash. Here's the ticket. And if they scan it, they will randomly go, oh, your name's Len. Can you show ID please? So here's my library card.

Here's my, like a copy of my like old driver's license and here's this other stuff. And then if you can just mail it back to my place, like after the game, that would be great. Cause if they go show me your ID, I'll know. You got a couple of bits of ID. Yeah. For a guy that I like, you know, he's a fucking old, older man. And we just don't look at like at all. And he's like, yep. So here's your ID. Enjoy the game. Good luck to the Hawks. So you're an outlaw. Yes. Fraud. So you're kind of just like wearing the responsibility that like, then if you can't get into the game, you don't get your money back or anything.

No. And then he's lost his library card most likely. I'm guessing they'll go, well, we're going to fucking cancel. Like it's, well, you're not lending memberships done. We're fucking off. Like, cause you know, it's got his name all over it. You can't lend that to someone else. I wonder who's been at the library. He's Lennon books. You know who he was? He was the halftime show. John Lennon. Alan Richter.

What? I don't know. I just thought of Alan because of Lennon. Alan Richter? Who's that? Is he an actor or am I just combined names? Are you talking of Alan because I had Len in it. Alan Richter. Isn't he a scene actor or I just combined names. Are you talking about Alan Rickman? Also dead.

Is anyone alive in this story? Is Len alive? I actually don't know because it has been 10 years and he was pretty old. So let's not fucking go down that path. Oh my God Len. So anyway. I go to the game. The Hawks win the grand final.

So were you sweating bullets beforehand thinking like, what if they asked for ID? I've just dropped 500 bucks on this thing. Well, coincidence chat, it was like the hottest grand final of all time. It was 32 degrees or some shit. So I was literally sweating bullets. But were you nervous? Cause you dropped all this cash on this thing.

I wasn't, this sounds like fucking first. I wasn't worried about the cash. I was worried about like, a, not seeing the game that I'd traveled from Perth to Melbourne for, or them being like, fucking come with us and let's have a chat, like actually get it. Like the money was more like, am I going to end up in the fucking MCJ jail? Yeah.

Like I'm already banned from stadium Australia. I don't need to be banned from the MCJ. Yeah. It's the money in the time you'd invested and you were excited to go. Yeah. For the game. And like, it's the morning of the grand final, you know, like it's on. And yeah.

So there is nothing like the buzz in Melbourne on Grand Final Day. It's huge. It's huge. There's nothing fucking like it. So that was 2015. Oh yeah. OK, so yeah, nine years ago. We win the grand final. One of the best days of my life was awesome.

Oh. Mum was there as well, found her, it was awesome. So your mum got a ticket from Len as well? No, no, it was just me, but mum got some ticket from her friend. So she was sitting somewhere else. And so she and her friend went legitimately. But you know, in Grand Finals, it's like, it's actually quite common. You're all scattered because everyone's just like fucking just get whatever

ticket you can. Yeah. And it was like, grab a half time, let's meet at that bar and have a beer and whatever. Then afterwards we won the Grand Finals. So we're great at half time. Let's meet at that bar and have a beer and whatever. Um, then afterwards we won the grand final. So we're like, let's go have a beer at the fucking whatever. Did you get loose with your mouth? Yeah, we got fucking happy. And so then mum came back to Johnny's place who, um, That house in Richmond.

Yeah. Yeah. And so that had a grand final day party. So everyone's been fucking belitzed because by the time the game's over and it was a pretty one-sided game. So, you know, it's a bit of a boring game. Pass me another drink. And so I'm pretty sure mum was playing beer pong with Dave Parsons and Johnny.

Hot. Yeah. She had a real good crack. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Put that on ESPN. Yeah. Brian's drunk mum playing beer pong in a garage in Richmond. So anyway, a year exactly a year later, I get this text message. And he goes, g'day Ryan, it's Len. Len's alive. Yeah, and he goes, he's an Essendon man who spoiler alert, fucking suck.

So he's like- Sorry about that Len. No, they haven't won a final for 20 years and fuck those guys. So he goes, well, Essendon hasn't made it again. Did you like, so I don't need the ticket. Do you want it? And Hawthorne had not made it.

And I went, oh, probably not Len. And then my mate, Dave Delaylen calls up and he goes, my doggies are in the grand final. Any ideas where I can get a ticket? And I said, yes, I do have an idea where you can get a ticket. You get Len back on the line? Len, can I get that ticket?

And he goes, yeah, it'll be 800 bucks. And I go, what? And he goes, inflation. And I go, fuck me Len. And he goes, do you want it or not? And you call, you got Dave on the other, on the other phone, Sophie's oily phone. And you're, you're talking to both of them. I think I already told Dave it was 500.

So I think I honoured that one for old Dave. Oh, the dogs hadn't been in the ground for 50 years. And I think I honoured that one for old Dave. The dogs hadn't been in the grand final for 50 years. And I think, yeah. So anyway, I meet Dave at the ground and he's like, he's almost like, thank you so much. You've got me, like the bulldogs especially, they haven't been in the grand final for 50 years. Like this is huge.

This is huge. And he meets me in this park and there's a couple of other friends we saw there. And I was like, like, hey mate, here's the ticket. He's like, thank you so much. Is there anything else I can do? Cause he's like, can I, oh, can I buy a beer? Can I, is there anything else I can do? And I said, well, there is something else you can do. You can take this library card and you can take this other bloke's, um, fucking drivers license

and you can drop it off on Monday. Can you mail that back to him? Because my mate Len actually is in the play again and he can't pick it up. And the reason I thought about Len is, and I think like a few of my friends have lined up over the journey and I haven't for a few years, but then when the Hawks started winning, we kind of went, are we going to make the grand final? And I went, Len.

Len. And I was like, who's Len? And Ryan goes, just you fucking wait. I'm not going to tell you yet. Are there any follow up questions about Len? I think there's too many that like, it doesn't. Have you spoken to him? Like, it's usually about, I'm expecting a text from Len at this every grand

final week I go, is Len going to text me? So he's sniffing around for some cash. Or over the years, surely they've tightened up. Or also I wonder if maybe he's just like got a mate closer to him. Yeah, or he goes, Essadon fucking suck. Maybe I just won't. Maybe he's not buying the team in the first place. You know what I mean? So, you know, shout out to Len. He's made my day. The doggies won that thing that when Dave went to, so he was like, it was one of the days of my life.

And also you get the kudos of being a great mate who's like organized that for him. I just rocked up and I was just part of the racketeering process, but it wasn't me. It was Len. Oh, well, then- So pour one out for Len. Pour one out for Len. And pour one out for fraud. GCE for Len, I feel. And also he ends up with his fucking membership paid for every year.

No, that's fucking good shit energy. I've got a love to say here, not that I think we can top Len. But Karen Marie Owens, this starts a little self-serving for me once again, but it comes back around. You've had a great week. I know.

Karen Marie, fuck, I feel like such a wanker saying this, but it's like, it's really funny. No, I don't know. Karen Marie, I feel like such a wanker saying this, but it's like, it's really funny. Don't be a reader, it's a bit coming from me. No. I don't know. Maybe, but who cares? Otherwise, I won't have anything to say. We were so moved by Toni's book when she spoke about her mum and the kindness she brought to the world that I felt like I need to pay it forward. That's nice. Sorry to interrupt. It's such a beautiful moment. Did your mum give anyone grand final tickets? She actually didn't.

So she sounds worse than Len. Yeah. She's definitely worse than Len. She's still good. And Len's still alive. So that's two, oh for two on mom for versus Len. Liz and I like she needs to lift. Yeah.

I agree. I'll get her on the blower. Yeah. Don't blow too hard. Yeah. Ashes. Uh, uh, was so moved by Tony's book when she spoke about her mom

and the kind of she brought to the world that I wanted to pay it forward. A bit of Lenergy. Oh, I think we know the title of today's episode. Oh, the sex toy. Was that today? How long can you use a sex toy for? We'll make that a caption. You still mess with that toy.

Ah, no, I always paste that. He's just Lin. Barbie and Lin. He's just Lin. Larby and Lin. He's Lin-off. He's Lin-off. That's funny. You're having a fucking Lin-o-me. He's enough

It's funny you haven't a fucking land to me, okay What's your favorite flavor of drink Love a soup full of lentils. Okay. All right. Bit of energy here. Now I always pay for the car behind me at the coffee shop drive-thru. It's not much, but it makes me really happy. That is actually good energy.

Karen Marie says, the lesson I've learned from this though is always ask how much the order is first. Yeah, great chat. Because I'm pretty sure today I paid for the coffee for an entire office and I was too awkward to decline a $45 order. Oh, that's so nice. That's $45. US. Ah, US?

So it's like you can get an AFL grand final ticket from Lent today. It's like $100. Yeah, that's fucked. And you've got AFL grand final ticket from Lent today. It's like a hundred dollars. And you've got your $3.15 cappuccino. Yeah. I just got a fucking green tea. Yeah. You got, I just got actually a cup of water. Like, I don't know. What's the cheapest thing you can get from a coffee shop.

But you know what I mean? Yeah. You're like, I got fuck all and I'm now paying a hundred dollars. I got one shot of vanilla syrup. Yeah. Like, I got a ketchup packet for 10 cents. I actually just drove through and asked for a spoon. Yeah.

I didn't get anything. I just wanted to talk to a human. I just wanted to chat. Anyway, yeah. A hundred fucking dollars. So Karen Marie, you've learnt now, but you do love to see, cause that's very sweet.

My love to see it is from Iris. And I love to see this and Tony's gonna fucking hate it which means I love it even more. Amazing. My love to see it is my car is still going strong even though the Czech engine light has been on for five years. That is incredible. That is not Lend a G.

That is great work from Iris. Len would never do that. And I saw that and I went oh. Because after like three months it's all the fucking same isn't it? No. So this is going to piss you off. Oh actually, what's the, have you ever seen in your car where it's like a hundred kilometers left to fill up or do you not let it get anywhere near there?

No. I feel like I don't even know if my car has one. Yeah. So it gets about half and you top it up. Yeah. It's fun. Yeah. Normally.

And just because I don't like admin at last minute. Yeah. So it's like, if I then get fuel when I don't really need it, I'm not rushed to have to get it in the morning before work or something. Hey, Soph, watch this. Tony's about to fucking lose it. So I'm like, I think it goes 100 kilometers, like to find, you know, guess what I got down to? Go on, say a number. I wouldn't get...

This was me on Monday. Yeah. 60. I went into work at Channel 7 and I was driving into channel seven and I wasn't early so I was kind of like and it said 25 kilometers to go and I was about 10 K's from the city and there's no service stations in the CBD. So I filled up and then when I got back in the car after leaving channel seven it said five kilometers. Don't you love to see that?

Huge. But like- Huge. Huge, huge, huge. But I don't think it's impressive. I'm like, what would have happened though if you ran out of fuel, you would have had to fucking call the guy

and like wait on the side of the road. When I said 5Ks, I pressed like on the thing, like near a servo and it's like, yep, three kilometers to North Melbourne, to this one in the corner. I was like, great, fucking 2K spare. And you know how I know you're like fucking empty? So my tank-

No. No, I don't. So my tank is a 50 liter- Sure. Tank. Oh, and how much fuel did you put in? 49 mile- Yeah, that's been like the, I laughed at myself

and I go, oh fuck. That was a bit too tight maybe? Now obviously this isn't correct, but I filled up and it was like 51 liters and I've gone, fuck, real empty. It doesn't make sense. Would you have a sip of something? I've had like minus one liter of Vegemite.

But I saw that and went, whoa. No, I would have gone in and been like, this is bone dry. You've charged me for too much. Your accelerometer thing on your bouses off. That's what I would have done. I would have Karen right out. That's my energy. I thought this was comedy, but no, this is fraud.

Yeah. It's actually stealing. Wait, yes. From them. They're stealing your money. Yeah. They're fucking muddying the numbers. Oh, what's one here and one there?

Thousands of billions of dollars later. Wait, from them. They're stealing your money. Yeah. They're fucking muddying the numbers. Oh, what's one here and one there? Thousands of billions of dollars later. Considering it's $87,000 per liter at the moment. Yeah. That cost me. $87,000? You could have gone to 80 grand finals with Len.

Well, not together. But I like the sentiment of the energy, so. That's crazy. That is crazy. But then don't you just have a moment where you're like, fuck, that was actually a bit too close and I shouldn't fuck around, duck around and find out. When it ticked over 50, I went, well, let's, we're getting like, that's crazy. That is great. To be fair, the city is like, if I had have known that the night before,

cause we're so close to like, I don't usually drive that far anymore. No, me either. From my home to work, I'm like, I'm never far away from anything. And there's a few servos between your house and here as well. And I got a last minute call going, hey, can you come into TV in the morning? I was like, yeah. And then I get in the car and I go, oh, fuck, I'm in trouble here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, it wasn't a deliberate thing, but I did think I'm handling this better

than someone else would be. But I just, the thing is, is that no, I wouldn't handle it, which is why I wouldn't let myself get to that situation. Yeah. Well, hey, duck around and find out. Yeah, and you did. All right. Have a great day, everyone. Have a great day. Love you so much.

Tomorrow, nipples, nipples, nipples, nipples. Oh, meep meep. Sorry. Love you. Bye. Weird lenergy.