Toni and Ryan - Lighting Up the Lodge

Episode Date: September 4, 2023

We're back!!! Thanks for being patient while I was sick hehehe but we're READY TO GO! Love ya! Toni xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge, and we are calling Alice, who is in Portsmouth in the UK. What do they sound like? I don't even know where that is. Hello. That's London, I think. I don't know. I don't even know where Portsmouth is. Portsmouth? Portsmouth. I'm actually going to be an expat. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello, Alice. Hi, how are you?

I'm well, thank you. How are you? I'm good, thanks. Is it the middle of the night where you are? Sorry, are we calling a bit late? You sound like you're asleep. Oh, it's no problem. You're my favourite podcast.

Oh, well, we'll take that. Do you approve this one? If we're your favourite, do you approve this particular one? Absolutely. Yahoo. Thank you. All right, If we're your favourite, do you approve this particular one? Absolutely. Yeah. Thank you. All right, now you can go back to sleep, Alice. Hi, it's Alice from Portsmouth, UK, and I approve this podcast.

Genuine question. Question. Genuine question. Because you had like long COVID last time. Yeah. Is the COVID you've just had now, how are you feeling by the way? Thanks for, yeah, I'm okay. But where does the last time's long COVID stop in this one's new COVID start?

See, I'm hoping it's like double jeopardy and then I start to be able to smell again really soon. That's what I'm getting at. I'm like, you're just going to prolong your smell. Because I haven't showered for months. It's fucking awesome. You're like, oh, how have you been? Oh, just being fresh old me. Yeah, oh, just normalised.

Yeah. Pippa likes it as well. Yeah, I'm really hoping. I actually wasn't as sick this time. Just like brain fog. You know with the COVID you get like the COVID where you get like that brain fog like sickness rather. Yeah, because like for the first fucking time in my life I'm like,

don't sound like a fucking pack a day smoker. We've had a few days off because Tony had COVID and we had to postpone a meet and greet in Auckland. Postpone, not cancel. Thank you. Another genuine question. Good genuine question. Because we both got COVID from a meet and greet in Perth, did you...

I like cursed. No, did you feel like you going to a meet and greet and giving COVID to everyone else was kind of like repaying the favour? You know what I mean? Like, fuck you. Pay it forward. Well, maybe not pay it forward. Meet and greets gave me COVID.

Well, now I'm giving meet and greets COVID. Can you imagine, like, though, if, say, I'm an arsehole, right? Hypothetically. Hypothetically. Everyone try and imagine that. But that I went to that meet and greet, right? What a jerk off like could you like actually meeting like however many people were going to be there but that perth one for example what do you reckon there were like 300 people there 200 people yep like can you imagine if i had fucking just handed covert out like a fucking

candy cane on christmas yeah like and just took it over to auckland they're just recovering economically and you just took it down. Their economy is fucked because I went there for a weekend. The Rugby World Cup, I think, starts the next week. It's in France. Oh. But I reckon there's a lot of people in. Fuck, France has got a good two years because they got that

and then they got the Olympics next year. Fuck, that's a lot. Fucking hell, mate. How do you like them apples, France? I reckon. A bit. I reckon there's a few people in New Zealand that's like, oh, if I was going to get COVID, I could stay at home

and watch a lot of rugby for the next couple of weeks. So I've actually made the wrong call. Now they're all going to work. They're at work now and they're like, fuck, what a bitch. Oh, I'm sorry. You got three days off. I didn't get shit. I should have asked people instead of telling them.

Instead of being like, this is postponed, postponed i should have been like what do you reckon what would you guys prefer yeah you know i'll be there if you want covid come on down come on down all good maybe i should have like every plate like gotten to the airport and gone who's keen because i'm coming through either way um if anyone wants a lick on the face i could take care of although now i think about it you sitting on a plane with me and my three-month-old daughter yeah and your wife my wife yeah um probably not the best although maybe like when she was three weeks old yeah she's a little trooper she's fine yeah isn't it so um torbs didn't get it um every other time i've had COVID, both of us, like,

have gotten it, like, the same day. And he's fine. Like, he was – thank God. Yeah. Because, like – When Bridget got it, I didn't get it and we slept in the same bed and I – Yeah, like, and nothing. So I don't know what the – maybe I got, like,

a strain he had already had or something. Sure, both your immunities would be good because you're up to – how many times have you had it now? yeah 85 times great um anyway the covid loves welcome back to the show thank you fun fact for new people listening to the show this whole concept of a podcast was a lockdown podcast it was and we actually said if like and i have genuinely always said this that we were like this is a covid free zone because we were like every single tv show was doing their version of like a covid thing and um all the news pods you listen to were like oh like the new strains coming out and fucking whatever and now listen to us now it's a test over like a bunch of fucking and it's real old news now isn't it people

like oh people still getting that oh yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I'm really sorry for the fucking 2020. She's got COVID brain. COVID brain. Anyone want to meet me down at the cafe if they want COVID a couple of days off work? Let's do some confessions. People submit their confessions.

TonyandRyan.com.au. They're very anonymous. Annoyingly anonymous anonymous we can't follow up on anything we don't ask for any of your details so you can tell us your weirdest shit we have a confession from the foothills of perth and nothing gets me revved up like hearing about neighbors fighting about lawns the foothills of perth which ones? From Gosnells? Kelmscott? Well, I think they've been vague because it's a neighbourhood dispute. Hence, like, you'll be out, you know what I'm saying?

That's not far from my old hood, though. I lived up the hill. Oh, so you were at the head hills. I was at the top of the hill. Yeah, head hills. That's very funny. There's the foothills. That's very funny.

Anonymous says, and I'm just reading the line. Cam, get the beeper ready. Oh. Anonymous says, my neighbour is a fucking c**t. Yeah, now you know which area of Perth, don't you? Yeah, I do. And I'm getting nervous because I think we announced this on last week's show. I just bought a house and gone out to the Burbs and I'm really nervous about the neighbours.

What if they don't like me? Well, of course they won't. What if the confession that we get next week is like, oh, my neighbours are ****? You guys share, in your house, you kind of share a bit of a front garden. Yeah. Who's taking care of that? You know what I mean?

Yeah, one house is going to be looking good and one is not going to be looking so good. Like, within reason, say your place, or it's a place where there's just like a shared nature strip or whatever and it's just the two of you. Yeah. If you've got the whippersnapper out, do you just fucking knock it over? Surely you're doing the whole thing.

Yeah. Yep. Surely. I think you have to be a real jerk to not. Like there has to be some long-running dispute about someone else doing it first and then you go, well, I would hate to touch your lawn. But what if the lawn's like it ends up being the whole street, then you're like, well, I can't do the whole street everywhere.

Where do I draw the line? You're not doing the whole street. But that's what I mean. Do you just do next door? Do you just do the part that's connected to yours? You know what I mean? Like if it's just one lawn. Because if it's the whole thing.

Surely the council sends someone out for those ones. Don't know. Anyway. My neighbours let the grass get out of control, which for non-Australians basically means you're inviting snakes into the area. Yep. And considering we have three dogs, this is an extremely scary and anxiety-inducing situation.

My partner asks them all the time, we've got some dogs, the grass is attracting snakes, blah, blah, blah, and they never do anything about it. That's really shit. One day I'm out in the back and I see a dead snake in our own backyard. One of my dogs had killed it. You could see the bite marks on the snake. Oh, my God.

The dogs are completely fine, but my partner was furious because it was kind of like, see, they're bringing snakes into the area. Yeah, like what did we tell you? We got lucky this time, but who knows what's going to happen next time. Because there's a lot of bush around the foothills. partner was furious because it was kind of like, see, they're bringing snakes into the area. This is the kind of stuff that happens. We got lucky this time, but who knows what's going to happen next time. Because there's a lot of bush around the foothills. Yeah. So like there would be heaps of snakes. Yeah.

Fuck. That's so scary. He picked up the dead snake with a shovel and went to throw it in the bin. But I said, hang on. Snake prank. Snake prank. I told him to throw it over the backyard fence into the neighbour's yard. Into the yard. They'd just gotten a brand new puppy.

You know what I would have done? Put it under their windscreen wiper like a parking ticket. You know, like, see what happens. like a parking ticket. And you're like, see what happens. The following day, the neighbour, the neighbour's brother and the neighbour's dad, who don't live there, it was like a working bee. They mowed the lawn, kept it all tidy because they thought

their dog had killed the snake. And they're like, oh, my God, they're right. It's the lawn. They're bringing the snakes in. And this tarpa says, forgive me for my sins, but I can confirm that their yard has been very well maintained ever since no that's good you've done a good job there and it's for the greater good absolutely not just your dogs not just their dog but the whole street

yeah and it just looks crookay like when like when someone else's lawn is looking a bit crook or you know their front have you oh so I'm a big like Christmas light hunter. Like I really like going and looking at them before Christmas. Are you in a Christmas light area in your new house? I don't know. I'll have to wait and see till the festive season begins. You could start it. I could.

But in Perth, and I'm guessing everywhere, but like in Perth, there's a lot of like big streets where like the whole house does it. Yeah. And one year, one of the places that we went to, the whole street did it the year before. And then this year, the whole street's done except for one house that had a pirate flag out the front. It was really gnarly.

Not only was it like, oh, we didn't get time to get around to it, it was actually like an active fuck you. And I put energy in to saying I'm not doing it. Yeah. It was like really – and so you're like, oh, my God. And they're the ones where like they've got bubble machines, light shows. Like it is insane.

And like you can't get a parking spot. Like you have to park like five streets away and walk all the way down. And they've got a sausage sizzle and, you know know they're raising money for the make-a-wish foundation on stuff like that then there's this house that literally a pirate flag out the front so it's like so aggressive isn't it so funny it is aggressive what would you do tony lodge say um heaven forbid cost a, interest rates are crazy. Like, I'm guessing those lights, both the lights themselves and the electricity around the lights, like, it'd be a pretty expensive exercise. It's also just, like, the effort and, like, committing every night

to, like, being out the front and protecting your house. But you have to, like, defend the property. Well, not defend the property, but people that own the house are always, like, walking around to make sure that, like, stuff doesn't get broken and yeah you know so imagine like times are tough you know you're in the street that all gets lit up and whatever and you're just like i just actually can't afford it this year would you just get would you peer pressure yourself into like like doing it i think i would because i'd feel guilty that people would think that i was a real grinch.

But I reckon people would appreciate if you put a sign out the front and it said like- We can't afford this. Sorry I didn't do the lights this year. I'm nine years old. Yeah, to that effect. To that effect. Because wouldn't that- isn't that just asking, though,

for like the communities getting together? It's the festive feeling. And then it'd be something like, you know, it's that final scene in every Christmas movie ever that's trash on Netflix. And then they come out. Why don't we all put together and help out the lodges and we'll all do this thing together.

And you're like, oh, it's the spirit of Christmas. Yeah, I walk out the front door and there's lights on the front and I go, who did this? And then they join the extension cord and all lights. Oh, my God. Sell the rights to Netflix. You know what it would be called? What?

Lighting up the lodge. Could I be in it? Could I play myself? Yeah. Who do you want to be? Santa. Rude. You've already got the beard.

We can't afford beards, mate. We can't even afford the Christmas lights. We can afford. Imagine, okay, we sign a deal with Netflix that I sit down like, okay, guys, we're back in Tony and Ryan. We're going to fund you to do this movie. We're going to fund the production. We've got this writing team. We're going to film you to do this movie We're going to fund the production We've got this writing team

We're going to film the whole thing Edit it together But times are tough We don't have a beard budget The costume budget is looking really full Except the fake beard Can you bring your own beard? And we go

Mate, say no more Say no more Where do I sign? We've got one sorted We can bring one from home Cam might have one We got one. Where do I sign? We got one sorted. We can bring one from home. Cam might have one. He's gay.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Can I ask on the podcast what I asked off air about our diversity hire, Cam? Yeah, I allow it. It's a bit crook. No, no, no, no. It's a little bit crook. Okay, no, it's okay.

Well, I think it depends on the context, doesn't it? We've got to pass it. Well, because we're hiring at the moment. Yeah, I allow it. It's a bit crook. No, no, no, no. It's a little bit crook. Okay, no, it's okay. Well, I think it depends on the context, doesn't it? We've got to pass it. Well, because we're hiring at the moment. Yeah, right. No, I don't think so. Okay. Everyone can put the pieces together. All I'm saying is we already have a diversity hire.

Please keep me anonymous as I've committed insurance fraud. And even though I don't condone it, it saved us a lot of money and everyone can do what they please with the information I'm about to provide hashtag Cozzy lives

yep car insurance for young people is outrageously expensive because you're under 25 there's the premium and the pay extra and whatever

and if you're on your P's it's even more and stuff like that yeah so a friend and I pretended to be married so we could get on the same insurance plan as each other and use the multi-card discount and split it 50-50. We've been doing this for years. We're not married.

We're not even dating. We don't even live together. It's just a guy I went to college with. They've only just now years later started asking for our marriage certificate. So we might just finish off this contract, keep our heads down, lay low and move to another company next year. Where do we stand on this? I mean, I feel like everyone's parents said you're 12 today

because you get into the cinema for free. You know, we've all done a bit of that, haven't we? And I mean, it's cinema for free. Yeah. You know, we've all done a bit of that, haven't we? And I mean, it's really the same. Yeah. I'll tell you one of the greatest, I don't know if this, is the stretch to say my greatest achievement? I'll tell you this story and you tell me if it is my greatest achievement. Okay.

Dave Parsons and I were going to the football one night. Yeah. And we were 15 or 16, I reckon. Yeah. We said we were 12 to get in for the children's price. You don't look 12 when you're 16. So I think for an adult it was like $25. Yeah.

And for a kid it's like $3. Oh, yeah. So we're like. You might as well give it a shot. Yeah. Yeah. So we passed for 12, paid $3 and walked straight to the bar, said we were 18 and bought a beer.

Like within 30 seconds of each other. Well, I mean, it would have been rude not to because the money is saved. You're still going to get the money. But I'm like, the fact that we could go from 12 to 18 in 15 steps. Fuck, it just shows they do not give a fuck, aye? Well, the person at the front, I think we were closer to looking 18 than we were to looking 12. And the guy at the front's like, have you got ID to prove you're 12?

And I was like, why would I have ID? I'm 12 years old. That's cool. That is smart. How can you prove you're 12? Yeah, check out my driver's license. I just scratch out the year and I've added a few on. Yeah, but in crayon, so it looks like... I don't have my pen license, bud.

Hey, it's Alice from Portsmouth in the UK, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapions from the Patreon. Russ Green, love to see that, Russ. Thanks, Russ, go. Zoe, Lily C and Tom Fitzy Fitzner.

Fitzy is actually a truckie. And I spoke to him. Another truckie. I spoke to him on Patreon the other day. And he said he does about 5,000 kilometers a week. Holy fuck. Yeah. And so.

That's fucking crazy. Well, he said that through the, over the year, he drives enough to go around the equator like a couple of times. Wow. Yeah. That's actually crazy. It's really insane. And we were chatting and he said, I should have gotten the message ready,

but this is just because we were chatting and I was like, fuck, that's insane. And he said that he just gets so lonely. Yeah, you would. In the middle of nowhere. By yourself all the time. There's a lot of land out in Australia with no one in it. Yeah, there's just fucking nothing there.

And he was like, get real lonely. He said since he started listening to our pod, he's like, I feel like I'm in the truck with mates, which is really nice. I should just say that's my love to say. That is a great love to say. I propose, I don't know what's in it, I don't know what it looks like, but a truckie edition. Of the pod?

Like one day we'll be like, yep, next Wednesday, it's the truckie edition of Tony and Ryan. I don't know what it is. What would be the term? I don't know what it is. Okay. Write that down, Producer Cam. Live brainstorm.

Live brainstorm. Truckie edition. Live brainstorm. Live brainstorm. Live brainstorm. Is that what I just said? I don't know what you said. but fitzy fucking good on you mate because that's fucking i couldn't do it like like i could not sit by myself in the car all day

like it would be that's insane and you like sleeping in the car like you literally you get out of bed and you sit in the front seat and you get going again yeah you know like that's fucked have you watched outback truckers on seven i going again. Yeah. You know, like that's fucked. Have you watched Outback Truckers on 7, mate? I have. It's such a good show. Yeah. It's quite intense, isn't it?

Yeah. I come from a transport family. Like my mum and dad were like in trucks and transport. My brother is in stuff. Transport and something. And it's like I. Actually, your brother's transception. Because.

What? Like transport. Yeah. Because isn't he transporting like bigger trucks that transport themselves? Yeah, he does that a bit. Transception. Yeah, transception. And when I moved to Sydney, he got my car put on a truck that came over.

So, yeah, it's like a babushka doll, but it's just full of little cars. And then my Yaris actually had like matchbox cars in it. It's like they all gave birth to each other. It's quite sweet. Next week, as well as maybe a truckie edition, but probably not. We'll work on that. We'll see what that might be. Next Monday, a big announcement.

A big announcement for the Tony and Ryan podcast. That people have been asking for. Yep, we are doing a Christmas movie with Netflix coming out soon. We just found out during the ad they have signed the contract that we're happy with Ryan's beard. Yep. Beard approval. And now next Monday, big announcement.

You can probably guess what it is, but it's on. It's happening. We're locking it in. We've got, yep. Not only is it coming, but so are we. Fucking oath we are. That's good, isn't it? I've never, yeah.

Yep. And now both ways we're coming. are. That's good, isn't it? I've never, yeah. Yep. And now both ways. Yeah. Anyway. Oh, sorry. All that excitement. I've really got to fucking bring the mood down. The other day, I was running like a little bit late for a planning meeting with you guys.

And we were going to meet on like, what is it called? Like Google Meet. Yep. Like, you know, when it's in your Google Calendar and you just press the thing and it's whatever. Mate, we're post-pandemic. We know what it is. You know what I mean?

Anyway, because I feel like the same way that you say about like an Esky or a Kleenex, you say like, oh, jump on Zoom, but you're never actually using Zoom. I use Zoom all the time. I don't have a Zoom login. Really? Nah. So whenever – if someone sends me a thing, I can like click on it and whatever.

But if I was setting up a meeting, I would use Google Meet because I already pay for it. Like why would I use a different one that you have to pay for separately? I think I've got a free account through uni because every day I'm meeting with other students and teachers and stuff on Zoom. Oh, that's quite good. You want to hook me up with that? No. Well, I don't need that. It's free. God, there's that. No. It's free.

God, there's a Christmas spirit. Yeah, it's free if it's like less than five people in less than an hour. Yeah, but then they catch up. Do you know what really makes me anxious? You know how when you're on Zoom and it says five minutes left of this meeting and I go, start wrapping up, and then it goes four minutes, three minutes, and there's nothing that stresses me out more. I'll tell you my favourite thing to do at uni.

What? So we get put into like breakout rooms. Oh, yeah. And so you're in a big lecture. They go, all right, we'll put you into groups of two or three. Go on, you know, what did you think of the case? Did you think they should do it or whatever it is? Yeah.

And what my favorite thing to do is if that's just in the corner, if there's like 15 seconds left, I go, so Cam, what would your strategy be to, you know, overcome this problem? And they go, yes. And then it cuts out. Like just give them a real big juicy question. That's seven seconds left. Or you kind of go, I know there's only seven seconds left,

but Tony, what's your philosophy on life? And they go, oh, gee, well, it's, oh, we'll see you back in there. And then it sends you back into the lecture theatre. But why? Oh, I mean, uni's pretty boring. Well, great. I'm glad that that's a good fit. Yeah, so when you go, how was uni last night?

And I come in and go, fucking great class. What was it about? Couldn't tell you. It's the yance. Corporate finance, weighted cost of capital, dividend structure, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I got this guy. Real good. corporate finance weighted cost of capital dividend structure blah blah blah blah anyway and i was running a little bit late and i was kind of like fuck i've just gotta like jump in and my gmail logged out you know how it like sporadically logs out? I don't fucking know.

But I do know. So it's like every 20 days or every 30 days or maybe it's 15. There's some obviously like a periodic amount of time where it just goes, yep, we need you to like re-authenticate or something. I hate because I suspect because we're our business. We're like Google Docs, Google Workplace, Gmail. Literally everything. Everything's Google.

And if one thing logs out, it means every fucking thing. Every single tab on my thing was like retry, re-log in. And I'm getting all of these alerts. I'm like running a little bit late. All this shit is happening. Like fucking something's on fire. Like it was just awful. And why have we not talked about it?

We both experienced it. Was it every 20 days, 30 days, 45? Whatever it is. It feels really often. So I'm going to say it must be 15 or something. That's the second most stressful day I've ever had is that day. The other time is remember when I shaved my beard? Yeah.

And then Face ID was like, I don't know this guy. Oh, yeah. So I wouldn't open my phone. It wasn't good. Luckily, it's grown back because of the Santa movie. Thank God. Yeah, of course. Thank God.

Netflix was out for a while there. Yeah, they saw an old photo and they went, oh, what about that? Anyway, so it fucking logs out and you've got to fucking – so you've got to log in and then you've got to get the fucking Authenticator app on your phone. It's not just a simple process. And anyway. But is that the point?

Well, like, yeah, but don't you just wish, this is my wish, that I could have just like reasoned with the computer and gone, can you just give me this one and I'll re-log into everything tomorrow. Like don't you just wish that you could just like negotiate with this like little thing that you could go, could you just give me today and I'll do it for you tomorrow? Or like if you could just give me 10 minutes so I can get onto the thing and then I'll log in.

It's like, you know when you like forget your wallet in the car and you go, oh, if I leave my phone here, can I go grab my wallet and then I'll come back? Like I've left collateral. Like I'm going to come back. If you're in a cafe and there was regulars, like the cafe downstairs, we're there two or three times a week and like pretty friendly, first name basis kind of vibe.

If say you work down there and I came in and go, oh, fuck, I forgot my wallet. Would you just go, oh, I'll just pay for it next time? A hundred percent. Yeah. If it was someone that came in all the time, if it was someone I'd never met before, I'd maybe go, oh, we don't really do that. Yeah.

Imagine playing the, like, what we're going to do is we're going to get an office next to a cafe. We're going to go in three times a week for three years. Yeah. And then we're going to forget our wallet and then we're going to fucking leave the country. Yeah. Oh, that's going to be our $9, you know?

Like, what the fuck? Like, why would you even do that? So who would you reason with considering we're talking about robots and fucking – Yeah. I just wanted the computer to – like, I just wanted to be like – Open the webcam. Can you just give me five minutes? Like, just let me jump onto this meeting and then I will do whatever you want.

I'll authenticate all day babe but i just need fine i just need to be on the meeting and then i'll like you know organize all my tabs and then you guys will be like oh how are you i go yeah good just like logging into my thing and that would have been fine yeah but i'm like sitting there and i'm like oh hang on guys like i'm running two minutes late because this fucking things happen and then we also use like notion like the note-taking thing that had fucking logged logged out. Oh, mine was fucking logged out of my phone. Oh, and it's just a fucking mare. But don't you ever just wish that you could just be like,

can you just give me one day? Yeah, absolutely. Like. I find when I'm on the, this is what does me in, which is similar, is I'm on the couch and I, it's late at night, I'm up with Mabel and I've wandered my way onto some online shopping thing

and I'm going to buy the dumbest fucking thing of all time. Yeah. I don't even want it. I'm just like going to buy some dumb thing. Yeah.

That's how I end up with ugly sweaters. Yeah. People like those. Thank you. I'm not one of them and neither is my wife. Neither am I.

Neither is Tony Lodge or anyone I know. So you go put the thing in and then you press pay because your computer saved all your shit and what's it called it's called the shop app or whatever yeah there's a shop yeah that is quite good actually dangerous because sometimes you need the interruptions that you don't buy well this is the thing and then it goes cool what's the three numbers on the back of your card? And I go, I don't fucking know. And what I do know is my wallet's at the other end of the house. And then so I'm like, oh, okay.

So I'm going to – and similarly, I'm like, just fucking put it through, dog. It's like $20. Who gives a fuck, really? I'll give it to you tomorrow. I'll give you the digits on the back. I'll pay you $30 tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just charge me an extra five and I'll get you later.

So I don't think I know what my wallet is. So I have to go up to the computer to log in. I can't believe you even got that far. Honestly, I would have been like, all right, well, I won't buy this. If you don't want me to buy it. Yeah, if you don't want my fucking money. Yeah, sorry. You just should have said that my money was no good here

and I wouldn't have even tried to figure out what size I should buy. But then I go to the computer and I'm logged out of Google. And so then I go, okay, so I'm logging into Google, which means I can get into my password app, which means I can find out the three digits to buy the duck. And you go, I'm always going to the extreme lengths. It's like if I have to explain, hey, Ryan, why are you doing all that? And you go, oh, don't worry about it.

Like it's so embarrassing. It's so embarrassing and you're like, I just don't even want to say it. And you know that it's protecting you, but you just wish that it wouldn't. I'm trying to buy matching gumboots for Mabel and I. Yeah, care less about. She can't even walk and they're very pink and I don't even wear gumboots. And here I am. I like that.

I would have given you my fucking security code had I known that that's what you're buying. So where do we stand on robbers and thieves because i think how long does a hacker need to like fuck you up oh i don't know because when you say like just give me five i think the point of the security is to like to keep the hackers out the thing is if you gave a hacker five minutes what could they do yeah oh yeah fuck you right up yeah so that that's where I'm just like testing the theory. I'm not against it. I'm just like asking the question. But like don't you just wish that you could be like,

you know it's me. I'll give you my fingerprint. I'll give you like, but can you just like not make me do my authenticator and my thing and log into everything again because right now I just actually really need it. The other thing that really fucks me off about technology at the moment is that like my car, the, entertainment system of the car. You mean the radio?

But it's not, like, a radio. It's, like, got the GPS in it and it's, like, you know, the screen that's got, like, all the shit. Yeah. Sometimes it, like, doesn't turn on. What do you mean? Like, the car doesn't turn on? No, the car turns on so I can drive the car but you can't like look at all of the stuff so how do you listen to your podcast so this is the whole thing right how do you know where you're

going so because i park underground like at my apartment yeah i think it can't like connect to the internet so it just like shits itself yeah and it's fight or flight it goes oh i don't know what's going i don't know where i am and i. And I reckon like six or seven times out of ten, it works fine. That's not many. It should be nine and a half. I know. Plus. And I've taken it back to them a few times and they're like, yeah.

It's a brand new Audi. Yeah. This isn't an old secondhand Datsun. It's like a, yeah. And anyway, I've taken it back to them a few times. They're like, oh, we're trying to rewrite the code for it to work. And I'm like, can you just fucking fix it? I don't like.

Can I put a new one in? Well, the whole thing about like driving a car is that like that's the part you enjoy. I can't see the outside of it. I couldn't give a fuck what the outside looks like. Yeah. But the part that I get to enjoy is that like everything works. And at the moment, everything doesn't work. Anyway.

Is there a what? Mate, I've, yeah. Sorry, sorry. The thing is, is that, like, say it's seven times out of ten that it works. The three times are the times when I'm going somewhere new and need the maps to work. Yep. Or that I'm running a bit late and I go, fuck, I can't actually.

So then I get out of the garage up to where the internet is and then I have to pull over and, like, try and restart it and, like, redo all my... Oh, no, no. And there's just so many times where I go, could you just fucking work because I really need to get to blah on time. So you know how earlier the confessor had the insurance scam? Yeah.

How did you take to that? Oh. Pretty well? Were you against it? Yeah, I wasn't against it. Okay. Because it wasn't Mama's little insurance company. You know what I mean?

It's a big corporation. Yeah. They'll take that. Your car insured? Yeah, it is. Okay. Would hate for fucking something to happen to that car soon. Yeah, I would hate for that to happen as well.

Paper is getting on fire. Yeah. Do it anonymously because, you know, don't keep getting on fire. Yeah. Do it anonymously because, you know, don't keep a paper trail. Yeah. If you can make Tony's car disappear

and just message us. Just go, yeah, hey guys. I think we're going down a dark path. I don't think this is a good idea. Leave it parked

with the keys in the ignition down the road and we'll fucking, who knows. And then you know what? Imagine if theps decided to work and just like followed it back to old mate's house the one time the gps could get a fucking um oh guys i've got you love to see it oh is it good it's fucking good because do you want me to do mine first because mine's kind of like a nice's fucking good. Do you want me to do mine first? Because mine's kind of like a nice heartwarming one.

Sure. Do you want to do that? So I got this from Claire Owen. She posted in our Facebook group. Hi, Claire. My son got his GCSE results today and he did really well. So that's like your big end of year 12 exams, isn't it? He has dyslexia and when he was little,

he really, really struggled at school. Yeah, right. He's had special lessons and worked really hard, like with a tutor, I'm guessing, and I'm so proud of him. He enrolled in the college he wanted today to do history, maths and physics A-levels. Wow. History, maths and physics?

Yeah. I don't believe in classes for anyone else. I know. Isn't that amazing? That's incredible. So congrats to Claire's son. Especially like you've come through the other side. And we were only just saying the other day about how you had that really fucking asshole English teacher that told you you'd never fucking get anywhere.

And I just love to see that people are like persevering and able to like work through. That's amazing. Love to see that. Send our love to him, Claire, because fucking that's huge. That is huge. I don't know if you've got your phone in here. Yeah, I do. I just sent you a message.

Oh. It's a photo of Prue. Well, first of all, you know my thoughts about hot chocolates on planes. Yum. Thick. Thick. But they're better in the sky. I don't know what it is about in the sky.

You have always said that. Oh, Prue! Prue. So this is a photo of Prue and her partner who recently flew from Melbourne to Hawaii. Oh! And they said, losing our hot chocolate in the sky virginity.

Nice. It's our first overseas trip together as a couple. We're really excited. And my partner said, what are you most excited about? And she said, we have to get hot chocolates on the plane because Ryan said they're better and they're thick and they're awesome.

And I said to Prue, and it's in the comments there, and she says it was thick. And let me just actually read out what she wrote. I asked Prue if it was thick. It was our first overseas trip together. We had a sexy hotel room at a sexy beach resort. Oh, my God. And all I could think about the whole trip was how thick it was. The hot chocolate or the hot cocklet?

I assume it's the hot chocolate. That's fucking – sorry, not to derail what you're saying. That's quite a big holiday for a first trip together. Oh, a first overseas trip. Oh, okay. Sorry. Yeah, misheard that. I was like, oh, you want to go out for breakfast?

Oh, yeah. Hawaii? Yeah. Jetstar I've got a great deal on. Well, she was on Jetstar. Oh, well, fucking I'm glad that they've got a good, that the hot chocolate holds up. Could they be siblings?

Look at that picture again. Have you seen that Instagram and it's like siblings were dating? Let's send this photo to them. I think. No, they don't look similar. I don't think this is creepy this photo to them. I think. No, they don't look similar. I don't think this is creepy. They've just both got a good smile. They don't look similar.

Do you know what I mean? You see what I'm saying though? Yeah. But they do look really happy. Yeah. Well, who wouldn't be happy with a thick hot chocolate in your fucking head? They look like they could be on their honeymoon. They do.

Don't you think that they're just like. He looks stoked and so he should because she's stunning. And she's just like, I've got the hottest guy alive. I've got a thickie and I'm about to head to Hawaii for another thickie and fucking here I go. A thickie and a dickie. What? Don't threaten me with a good time.

Like, fucking sign me up. What else is there? That's beautiful. A thickie and a dickie. That's the best I've heard since the... Chicken and a McDicken. But brew. I don't know if you just got me at the right time. Brew with a brew.

I don't know if it just got me at the right time of day, but when I saw that, it made my day. It made my day. It feels like a fucking year ago since before I had COVID. Which time? Yeah, literally. Yeah fucking year ago since before I had COVID. Which time? Yeah, literally. A year ago when I had COVID. It feels like ages ago.

But I can see the pride in your eyes. It's the same pride that I had when people went and got a roast. Do you remember three fucking weeks ago when I sent everyone to go get a Sunday roast at the pub? Yep. I felt like a proud person that I'd given this great recommendation. And you've made Prue's fucking holiday. I have. Yep.

Yep. Not him. Oh, well, he's an actor. He was also there. Yours was a great addition. She knew she was going to have a great time fucking her handsome boyfriend in Hawaii. Yeah. Because that's what you do.

What else are you going to do in Hawaii? Go for a snorkel? No. Fuck off. Yeah, dive. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she'd be snorkeling somewhere Fuck off Yeah dive Yeah Muff dive Yeah

My boyfriend and I Go to Hawaii this year Fucking can't wait Can't wait Can't wait Alright we'll We'll chat to you tomorrow Have a great day

Oh Actually this might be for you Tomorrow I've got advice For people who might die Oh Well is that everyone nah what depends if you're planning on dying soon i was gonna do this last week but someone got

covered oh well then i almost died imagine the people who died over the weekend without this knowledge oh you could have prevented that well not the death but they would have been set up better for the afterlife oh oh fuck all right far on the show. Stay tuned. Have a good one, Prue. Love you. Bye.