Toni and Ryan - LIVE from our Boat Party!!!

Episode Date: August 10, 2025

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Happy birthday to you. Hip-in. Hi, we're Toppers in Vancouver, and we approve this podcast! Are we recording, Charles? We're rolling, we're ready to go. Because I have an important question before we get started. Yeah, we're on the boat.

Should I leave my sunglasses on? Or should I take them on? Well, Tony bullied me the other day about wearing sunglasses inside, and now she's doing it, so... Well, I was outside. What feels right for you? Oh, she's so beautiful I'd have to find my real glasses

It's like in the teen movies When the nerd takes her glass I'm like oh my god What feels right I take off my Canucks jersey Welcome Welcome to our birthday Oh sorry

Is Lil getting glasses Hang on Wait Wait Wait It's actually much better. Welcome to our fourth birthday party in Vancouver. No one came, so he wouldn't have heard that.

It's been, thank you so much for coming. We all really, really appreciate it. A lot of people have travelled a long way. Is the Calgary crew anywhere here? Where's the Calgary crew? Thank you very much. Who's travelled from Vancouver Island? Everyone else.

Has anyone been from just locally? No. Now, something I should have researched earlier is when you're from Melbourne, like we are, we are Melbourneian. When you're from New York, you're a New Yorker. But when you're from Vancouver, you are... Vancouverite. Vancouverite.

That sounds like an STD. I don't know. Well, an anonymous Vancouverite, Vancouverite. Vancouveran, I prefer. I was going to say, Vancouver, an anonymous Vancouverite has a warning for everyone here about Mary Brown's chicken. Now, the warning is that it sucks.

Yeah, so the people on the boat know that we have as a collective before we started this episode, I think we decided it's a two out of five. It's a fat two. Is that right? We all agreed on two out of five. All right. So this is the warning from someone that listens to our podcast. And I don't know if they're in the room because they send it in anonymously.

Okay. But they said, welcome to our town. If it was you, wink, wink. Sorry, the heat's getting to me. So they were downtown at a pub and they had a meal, just a few beers. What pub was it? It was a pub somewhere here in downtown. Okay.

And we don't know any more details than that. But they're at a pub. What season of the year was it? I believe it was a, not a full summer, but it wasn't cold. So was getting warmer or getting cooler? Just reading what they said anonymously, so that's all good. So nothing silly, a few beers, big meal. But, you know, they're chatting, they're laughing.

Oh, my God, it's already 1.30 a.m. Oh. I better head home. So they jump in the car, they're driving home, and they realize as they're halfway there, those beers, that food. Oh, my God. I think I'm going to shit before I get home.

Happens to the best of us. But where are they going to go? this hour of the night. They're hoping they find like a 24 hour restaurant or a service station and all they find and this is on East Broadway kind of near the commercial Broadway station is a Mary Brown's

chicken. All right so they go oh thank God they should have gone to the 24 hour subway we went to. They should yes pretty slow the hair pretty slow yeah bathroom is actually out of order yeah bathroom wasn't working so while we were there

for an hour we couldn't use the bathroom Um, so what happens, they, they kind of run in a little... Oh my God, their boats work. Oh, that's great. Um, a bit of an inside joke. Um, so... People listening won't know that the boat didn't work, so we just hear it at the dock. Yeah.

So, you know you guys know that. Yeah, and Ryan said that we'd refund everyone's free ticket. Yeah. Beat a bit of chat about us getting an actual refund, but that's all right. And it got a better laugh and I said it the first time. It was great. Yeah, it's good. Um, so this person gets to Mary Browns and does the awkward like, oh, nothing for me, thanks.

and just like darts to the bathroom because finally they're going to be able to go to the bathroom. Relave themselves. So they go to the bathroom and they do their business. Yeah, hot. This is where the warning comes in. Now, does anyone here know what time Mary Browns usually closes? It's 2 a.m.

Now, I remind you that this person left the bar at about 1.30. So they got to Mary Browns at 155. No. They go in, do their business, come out of the bathroom, and the whole restaurant's closed. they've locked up and everyone's left fuck off yeah

yeah so Tony I like the lights are off yeah it's all it's all done so they went in and I'm getting the merry sandwich as well

and like everyone knows a fast food restaurant it's pretty bright lights pretty neon Mary Brown's the orange writing they come out pitch black full dark

Tony Lodge what would you do in that situation she myself again um I was going to say knock on the door but the inside someone let me out please

what are you going to do they tried that call the cops they had to call the police they called the Mounties a bit of Canadian gear and then the police go oh what's happened

and she had to explain what she had done to the people there he said what kind of year time of year is it is it getting hot is it getting cold what would you rate it out of five yeah

So the warning is we've had a few drinks and a lot of subway today. So please use the bathroom before we go home. That's great advice. That's great advice. Great advice. Great advice. Hi, we're topers in Vancouver and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Yay!

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David Steed 90 If you're here, good on you I'm not going to say that after everyone Beck McDermott Love to see it, thanks Beck Liv, Gourav at here Thanks Gourav VK Dobb

Lenny Kristen Thanks Lenny Jazz Billups Riananan And Jennifer Samanigo Samaniego Thank you Jennifer I appreciate that

Should have read those before as well So we are currently on a boat In Vancouver Motherfucker in the dock. Gooses. Is there gooes? There are too.

And we saw a... Was it a geese? A geese. So, having known Tony for exactly four years, one of my main learnings is don't correct the queen. If she says gooses, they're fucking gooses. And if I say he's? Then that's what they are.

Thank you very much. Now, we just thought we'd go through the clues because we are here in Vancouver. but a lot of people from around the world have been guessing people think it's the capital but it's not. Did you know that lots of people outside of Canada think that this is the capital?

Okay, so we got this feedback a lot, right? But also the fact that it's not the capital of BC or of Canada. Yeah. It works in two ways. Literally, literally

literally this morning someone commented on the post of us message me on Instagram being like someone shared on their story being like on my way to Vancouver and I shared it back on my story welcome and they replied back to me and said oh yeah I'm pretty sure it's in Tokyo and I was like I was like you like love the enthusiasm but we have announced that it is in Vancouver also even though Tony's personality is having been to Japan as of Wednesday she is now been to Canada more times than Japan. And also to Canada more times than Brisbane.

We also learned that as well. Red and white in the flag. You can figure that out on your own. With red, the flag includes why. Okay, yep. After doing the red and white thing and then saying the locals love sushi, we were like, oh, everyone's going to think it's Tokyo.

And they still do. Still do. Yeah. The next clue was it's a great time for esteem. obviously the gas stout, thank you. Have you seen it? It's a lot smaller and insignificant than I thought it would be, yeah. And that's not the first time I've said that, yeah.

And then, of course, the final clue was end of an era. There's some Taylor Swift shirts are hanging around. The eras tour obviously ended here in Vancouver. So sad. So sad. So sad. Wish it was still going. Now, because it's a Monday, as of the last few weeks, Mondays,

oh, don't tell everyone we did this on Saturday. But on the Monday episode... Time's on chat. It's fucked us this week, honestly. We did the morning show at night on a different day. Yeah. I didn't like it. So, on Monday episodes, Tony is doing hot take Tony.

And so... And it's so hot in here. Yeah, pressure's on. That's it. That's the day. So do we need to prepare you? Do you need a limber up? Do I need to take my top off?

You can if you want. I don't think that's you should. As we said before, you don't catch them the Queen. So it's hot take, Tony, you just tell me. Well, so we did talk about bringing the costume overseas. That did not work. Then I thought about literally anything else read. That also didn't work.

Didn't go with my wardrobe. So we've just got a hot take to share. And Ryan actually knows it and agrees. Because this one is a bit of a conspiracy. theory. My hot take is that I reckon they turn the heaters on

in the airport to sweat the criminals out. Because if you go through the airport it is so fucking hot and it is like you have to take

all your layers off. I reckon it's because if you've got cocaine up your asshole. You're already probably sweating. Then you get even hotter and then they go

you. So I know in Inside this boat, it's currently a thousand degrees. Oh, sorry, you've been scourged. Now, I know it's currently a thousand degrees inside this boat, but if we see one beat of sweat, Tony will be checking your asshole for cocaine.

Oh, I think, yeah. Oh, I'm sweating again. All right. We have our you love to, well, how you love to see it is what an amazing turnout today. And thank you so much to everyone that's made our dream lives possible by supporting our show. So thank you so much. We are going to light the cake and sing happy birthday,

but there is one promise I can give you. Charles is not going to direct the singing of happy birthday. Now, people not in the room won't know this, but when we recorded the approval at the start of the episode, Charles got pretty angry. He's been nasty today. Well, actually, when's he been nasty since? And I'll give you a clue.

You know how you've run out of swipes on Tinder? Do you reckon they had something to do with each other? And that happened the same day as the Mary Browns. Yeah. So I think it was just a real bad day. Yeah, it was a real bad day. All right. So we're going to like this and we're going to, do you want to?

You please. This is my hot take. Oh yeah, we should have used this for the take. All right, Tony. Okay, hang on. Do you want to lead the song to you? Yeah, hang on. Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Charlie Happy birthday to you Hip-HIP! Who wants some cake? There isn't enough everyone. I hope some people talk to Derek.

All right, like and subscribe, see you tomorrow and everyone. Hang on. Hang on. All right. Love you, bye.