Toni and Ryan - Live Laugh Laundry

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

Nighttime routines and... BEST FRIENDS????? Love you!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. And we are calling someone who I believe is my natural enemy. Natural enemy? Yeah. Oh, is it someone made of cow's milk? I don't think he's my enemy, but they'll see me as their enemy. Hi there, Lucas. Lucas! It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing?

Hi, guys. I'm just fine. I just came back from work. I'm about to ask you what you do for a living, Lucas. I've just said out loud that I might be your natural enemy. Please tell Tony what you do for a living. Before I tell anything, I forgive you, Ryan.

Thank you. Thank you. I am a hairdresser. Oh, no. Well, Lucas, are you in Norway? Is that right? You're too far away for Ryan to get you. You're safe.

Yeah, I'm up north, way up north. From Stadionave, actually, just like your headdressor I am. I was about to say, Lucas used to live in Melbourne. He moved away so that you wouldn't get him. Well, the headdressor was from Europe. I remember, yeah. I think she got deported after that. Yeah, you think?

Yeah. You mean you saw to it? Yeah, I saw to it. Oh, God. All right, well, Lucas, thank you for your apology. It means a lot from your community. Will you approve today's podcast? It would be an honour.

Thank you. And we promise not to shit on your towel. Be nice. Yeah, okay. I don't know. I'm panicked. Hi, it's Lucas from Norway and I approve this podcast. Yeah. welcome to today's episode let it be known tokyo tony shaking her head let it be known

that tony just said if i ever got sent to jail i would be terrified 24 7 but i would slay the puss did you true or false if this is what i'm going down for you said i would dominate the ladies i know i didn't say that i didn't say that that's unfounded um anyway well coming up today we're about to find out if tony and i are best friends this is a huge day for me it is a huge day marketing your diary i'm excited i want you to huge day marketing your diary. I'm excited. I want you to get it right. This isn't like a stitch up. I want you to get it right. Oh, that's what everyone always says. Yeah, but put it this way.

If you get it right, it's a great outcome. It means I know you and you know me. That's basically what the test comes down to. I'm so stressed. If you get it wrong, I'm just going to out myself for saying the most embarrassing thing of all time. So are you promising that if we've said the same thing or like close enough like same gist you're gonna

say that i'm your best friend it's best friend test but so that's what it is if you pass you pass so yep dave parsons fuck never heard of him if i put you're gonna say tony you're my best friend that's what you're gonna say yep. Yep. And in perpetuity, not just today, like forever. Is that what in perpetuity means? I thought it was giving a tip. No, that's gratuity. Oh, sorry. Who's going to jail now?

In perpetuity. All right, that's coming up later. Fuck, I really hope that's what in perpetuity means. Someone please Google that just in case. It means forever. It up later. Fuck, I really hope that's what in perpetuity means. Can someone please Google that just in case? It means forever. It means forever. Yeah, okay. Good for me.

Okay, what I will say, and this isn't a back out, but it's like. Here we are. Fuck, you're such a tosser. No. No, I don't want to be your best friend anyway. No, imagine if you did some shit thing in five years. Oh, yeah. Like pooed on your towel.

Then obviously. Then I'll go, I don't think, I think you've in five years. Oh, yeah. Like pooed on your towel. Then obviously. Then I'll go, I don't think you've been demoted. Yeah, yeah. Nah, that's 100%. Or if you're in jail slaying the puss for a few years. I haven't seen you for a while, but I'm sure when you get back out, we'll get back there. Or like how come you're in jail, maybe we're not friends because of that.

Yeah, whatever you did to get in the slammer, maybe I didn't like that. Maybe I told you I was paying your taxes, but I was just taking the money and like going to Disneyland. Too soon, mate. People have done that. Maybe I told you I was paying your taxes, but I was just taking the money and, like, going to Disneyland. Too soon, mate. People have done that. Before we get there, though, before we get to the best friend test. Please. This actually might be a good best friend test as well.

Okay. What is your nighttime routine? So for you, Ryan, for everyone listening, have a quick think about your nighttime routine what do you do at night okay so bridget will go to bed and then i'll take bj out for a walk that's like ryan's quiet time like brain unfurling that's nice bron gets to have a final whiz and a sniff and a run before he goes and settles in for the night yeah what time is that normally 9 30 10 o'clock yeah nice uh then i'll come back home and go there's no like face well i feel like night too because i've watched too much instagram

nighttime routine feels like then i do the skincare and i watch this and i do that and then i literally just go to bed yeah well usually Mabel wakes up at like 11.30, so if I'm still up I'll feed her. Oh, yeah. And do you have a shower at night time? No. What do you wear to bed? Just like trackies or shorts.

So do you just wear like whatever you've gone for a walk in, you just like wear that to bed? Kind of. Although if the walk was extensive, I'll have a shower. Oh, and you're like, fuck, I'm a bit pongy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could probably take that. But, yeah, kind of just because usually at night I'll have a shower. And you're like, fuck, I'm a bit pongy. I could probably take that. But, yeah, kind of just because usually at night I'll take off, like, the jeans and put some trackies or some comfy shorts on.

So that's kind of my going for a walk, going to bed, lounging around. And then when you go to bed, you kind of just, like, take the shorts off but, like, leave your T-shirt on kind of. It's just like a house T-shirt. It's, like, comfy. A house shirt. You know what I mean? Because I wear a nightie to bed every night.

Yes. And you actually know that because every time we've ever been away together, if we're like having dinner in our room or working late at night, I will literally always be wearing my nightie. This is what happens. We go, oh, let's just get room service or Uber 8 to the hotel room. And Sony goes, uh. And I go, do you want to come into my room?

And she goes, uh. And then he says, okay, I'll come into your room. And so now I don't even ask because I'm like, fine, we'll go to, because Tony's like, I'm in my 90. I don't want to like leave the room because I'm in my 90 and people see me in my 90. Yes, that is actually exactly what happened. So I go, fine, I'll come around to your room, which is actually good because it means all the leftover rubbish

gets left in Tony's room and then the cleaners come in and they go, have you had six pizzas to yourself last night, sweetheart? They go, God, you've eaten for five. And I went, there were two of us eating for five. But when I say nightie, I think people misunderstand and think that I'm wearing this like sexy, skimpy nightie. No, no, no. Just think of any T-shirt and times it by 10.

Yeah, it's just like a huge oversized like cotton t-shirt and I wear that as a nightie. I don't want to say this. I don't know if this is like a bad word. Okay. It's a muumuu. Yeah, it's just like a big shift dress. Yeah.

Like it's literally. Just a massive long t-shirt. It's like, yeah, it kind of goes down to my knees. Like it's literally a t-shirt dress and everybody's going to know what that looks like. But it's not like a sexy, skimpy nightie. No, it's definitely not. It's like a cotton T-shirt nightie.

It's not lingerie. No, no, no, not at all. It is tracky-dacks in T-shirt form. Exactly. Yeah. It's the T-shirt that you wear but long. Yeah. So I wear pyjamas every night and I'm also someone that like,

so my nighttime routine starts whenever I get home and I get changed out of my clothes and I put my pyjamas on. Yeah. Like I'm in my, like I cook dinner in my nightie, I eat dinner in my nightie and then like whatever and then I'll have a shower before bed, I'll take my nightie off, have a shower, put my nightie back on. Same one back on?

Not a fresh one? Okay. So here's the thing. A doctor, not me, a different doctor. The one that went to a medical school? One of a similar cloth though, obviously, because a couple of doctors chatting. A doctor has revealed, huh?

Good ilk chat. Thanks. A doctor has revealed how often you should wash your pyjamas. That was my question. I was like, if you're wearing them from the moment you get home. Well, but you're doing the same thing. You're wearing your house T-shirt. For one night, though.

Oh. So then tomorrow I'll have on my new house shirt. So Dr. Singh from Virginia has explained why you should never go longer than three sleeps in the same pyjamas. Oh, Tony Lodge. I know a lot of you love holding on to your favorite PJs for weeks at a time, but I'm here to tell you that's pretty nasty. Basically, all the oils and stuff in your skin and whatever you're doing

in your clothes, you should not wear the same pajamas for longer than three nights. The thought, even regardless of this, the thought of having a shower and putting the same clothes back on again, for me, feels like what was the point of the fucking shower? Can I say something that I don't think is gonna make sense but you know when you put something on fresh from the washing machine or fresh from the dryer or whatever and it's not like soft yet yeah you know like it's hard yeah you kind of like work it in and so when i get a

nightie like work worn in i want to put the same one on again. You've got to groove on. Because it's got to groove exactly. Disgusting but fair. Yeah, thank you. And so a bunch of people have kind of like jumped on this and there's like always, you know, a fucking TikTok going around about this kind of thing.

And so a job that I didn't know existed but fucking fully respect, laundry expert Laura Mountford who wrote a book called Live Laugh Laundry. She did not. Respect the hustle. You are taking the piss. I'm actually not. You are actually taking the piss.

You can Google that right now. You are actually taking the piss. Google it right now. Google Live Laugh Laundry. It's a real fucking thing. I don't want to Google it because, heaven forbid, my algorithm, live laugh laundry. It's a real fucking thing. I don't want to Google it because, heaven forbid, my algorithm. Live laugh. No, it's a book.

It's a book. Oh, and of course it's that color and of course it's that font. So Laura has said. A calming guide to keeping your clothes clean and you happy. I rate it. You know what I mean? Anyway, so Laura says. There's only one left in stock on you happy. I rate it. You know what I mean? Anyway, so Laura said. There's only one left in stock on Amazon.

She's killing it. Yeah, she's, yeah. 224 pages. What's on the other 223? Yeah, turn washing machine on. Like how. Yeah, put clothes in washer. Do regularly.

So this is apparently like a huge market. There's like these laundry people that like are laundry experts and they know all about everything laundry, laundry, laundry. Just to let you know, frequently bought together. Yeah, what do people buy with that? People will often buy Dr Beckman's reusable colour collector. That is actually good because what it does, you put that in the washing machine with it and it means

that the dye goes onto that thing, not onto your other clothes. Reusable colour and dirt collector. Yeah. Up to 30 washes. Yeah, so if you've got like a white T-shirt and a stripy white T-shirt, you pop that in there so the dye goes onto that, not the other shirt. Anyway, I've actually, call me Laura Mountford

because I know all about laundry apparently. Laura says, pyjamas should be washed every two or three wears. Washing them after every wear unless they're actually stained, smelly or sweaty is unnecessary, a waste of money, water and energy. Hang on. There was a massive if there. Read that if again. Unless they are actually stained, smelly or sweaty.

Are they your middle names? It's like literally my Christian name. Yeah. I'm always stained, smelly and sweaty. All right, so, Tony, do you need a drumroll? Hang on. No, no, no. Do you want to hear something that's worse?

So this laundry expert has said this, right? Self-proclaimed. She's saying every two or three wears is actually fine, like all good. Yeah. All of the comments, I wear clean pyjamas every night, no exceptions. Who the fuck wouldn't do that? Clean PJs every night or go to jail. I clean my sheets every week but clean pyjamas every night.

Clean towels every two days, blah, blah, blah. Put me in the fucking laundry prison. Some people sound like they need a life. Babe, you got a job? What are you doing? Yeah. What are you doing, babe? Yeah, so I know I said I change every night,

but that's because I'm wearing it like through the afternoon. Yeah, so you wear it that shit. I know you're also giving it a fair stretch there. But I feel like if you're exclusively wearing them for bed, you could easily get a couple of nights out. Right. Who's got seven pairs of pyjamas just rotating around for the weekly wash?

Are you a millionaire? Have you ever been into a fucking Peter Alexander? You know how much that shit costs? It's fucked. We get a new pair every year at Christmas. For Christmas. One pair. Well, so I'm reading this right and not only am I like sleeping.

Hang on, hang on. You're reading the article or the book? Oh, yes. I'm reading Dr. Laura Mountford's I like sleeping. Hang on, hang on. You're reading the article or the book? Oh, yes. I'm reading Dr. Laura Mountford's fucking book. No, no, no. Chapter 4. Does it come in an audio book? I don't know.

But I'm reading this article. I'm looking at these comments and I was like, well, that's not me. No. No. Where are you at? That's what we're counting down to. I'm getting like over a week out of a nightie. And you're wearing it?

A hundred percent. From the second you get home? In summer, it's less time because I do sweat in the night. So then it's down to like six days? Yeah. What's the longest you've gone? Oh, fuck. The limit does not exist.

If it starts getting rank but like a food stain or something. If it starts getting rank, it's already six weeks too long. Yeah, that's true. Like you've already lost. But like if I spill something on me when I'm eating dinner or whatever, like that doesn't end the nighty for me. Like that's actually not too – because I'm just like, oh, who cares? Well.

Like I just never. You should. The answer is who cares? You should. But like who's wearing clean pyjamas every night? Lots of people. Well, I call bullshit. There's just no way. There's no way and I actually won't stand for that.

Okay. bullshit there's just no way there's no way and i actually won't stand for that okay i'll let them know that they're actually not allowed to and i'll tell laura lindry live laugh laundry yeah her christian name it's the fucking lift yeah live and be more relatable and live in the real fucking world no she's actually more on my side and keep in the real fucking world. No, she's actually more on my side. And keep doing the good work that you're doing. Hi, it's Lucas from Norway, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. You can check out our Patreon anytime you like. Thank you so much, Kortz, Annie Probert, Eric The Whovian, Dahlia Doom, and Thomas Egan. Thank you very much for being part of the Patreon.

You absolutely love to see it. You love to see it. I've just started following Laura Cleanaholic on Instagram. Is this our girl? Yeah, the author. Yeah, because she's on my side, so we're fans of Loz, yep. Now, my first question is who the fuck's buying this? And then my realisation is probably my wife because since Mabel

is like a cloth nappy baby, she's in all these groups about like how to clean efficiently and what temperature and she just actually because she, as a winemaker, was like in the science lab. She loves the science of it all and how it all works. So she actually loves it. However, how do you reckon it would go down? What's coming up soon? Mother's Day in a few weeks?

If I buy her a book. No fucking way. I know he said don't buy a self-help book. No. If I buy her a copy of a Live Laugh Laundry laundry how do you reckon that'll go my mom do i want to find out my mom staunchly said that she cannot understand how people buy like for birthdays or mother's day or whatever by um like someone an iron or someone a vacuum she was like if someone ever bought me a vacuum for mother's day i'd be like oh great so i can do your vacuuming so i can

do your ironing like what does that that mean? Fuck you right off. And I reckon, yeah, oh, if you wanted to be a little bit better at the laundry, I bought you this book. And also if you're going to buy anyone a how-to book, it should obviously be laundry for dummies. Laundry for dummies. Yeah. This will be the best moment for best friends

or it will be the most embarrassing moment of my life. Again, win-win for me. Win-win. It actually is a win-win. Because either you look like a doofus or I get a best friend out of it. Well, so Bridget said something to me and I responded and I thought it was sort of funny. Bridget did not think it was funny, and I went,

Tony would have liked it. Tony would have appreciated it. Tony would probably have said the same thing, and this is where the test is. I'm going to tell you what Bridget said, and then you are going to respond how you would respond, and if you responded the same way as me, then I'll know that we actually are, our have connected and we are best friends that's a beautiful sentence to hear into my beautiful ears question yeah what if i just laugh at what you said and i think it's funny doesn't that prove something also we're obviously great friends yeah but this is like i take that actually. Stop the podcast. That's enough.

But this will go from, I say this will go from good to best. Okay. So how are we going to test this? Let me give you the rules. Bridget told me something. Yeah. I actually believe we will respond the same way. Now my response has already happened.

I'm going to repeat it. So Bridget said, can we have a threesome with Tony? You said yes. Yes. And there we go. I'm going to say the same thing. I'm going to count down. I'm going to say the line. Yep.

Then I'm going to go, here's the line. Three, two, one. Blah. Then we respond. Okay. Also, you're going to say it at the same time as me. I'm going to say what I said. Does it have to be verbatim word for word or is there a bit of room it has to be close okay it has to be the same

idea yeah and pretty much the same words give or take a few you know literally okay quick check-in with tony lodge the athlete i am really stressing like i've got fucking cunch sweat. I mean I have to change this dress after this. Yeah, yeah. Remember you are saying it from my perspective. Fuck, okay. Because it was said to me and I responded as me. Okay, so. Sorry, I really need to calm my nerves.

If you say something completely different, I'll be exposed as a fuckhead and I'll be really embarrassed a fuckhead and i'll be really embarrassed and you said we were good friends already so i feel like i'm already up today like i'm already doing okay yeah yeah today's an okay day okay can i just have a moment to just like breathe because i'm feeling so overwhelmed like i'm actually feeling a little bit well here's the thing are you gonna try and say what you think I said or are you going to lean into the process and just say what you think is the, like what comes naturally to you and then hope that our souls align?

I'm thinking the second one, the souls aligning. Okay. Because you, the fact that you said Tony would have laughed at that, actually, she probably would have said the same thing, makes me think that I need to think of you as my audience rather than be you. Do you know what I mean? I'm just, I think I. What's your percentage confidence?

I'm backing it in 100%. 100%. Probably closer to 75. James, would you like to place a bet? Would you say the same or it's going to be different? I'll go different. Okay. No faith. Okay. So you don't care about us as your bosses? Do you think it'll be the same or or it's going to be different? I'll go different. Oh, okay. No faith.

Okay, so you don't care about us as your bosses? Do you think it'll be the same or do you think it'll be different? I think the same now hearing Tony's strategy going into it. Oh, okay. Yeah. Interesting. Because you're independently very good friends with Bridget, so we can't be thinking like Bridget in this.

We have to just be thinking like Tony. You're Bridget. Take her out of the equation. I always do. Yeah. Right. And you listening, place your bets. Don't.

I'm actually feeling. Oh, my computer just turned off when you did that. Sorry. Sorry, everyone. That can't be good. Bridget told me something. I'm going to say the line. Then I'm going to say three, two, one.

And then we're going to say. I actually like can't feel my fingertips. I'm so nervous. It's more stressful than the Tony's box call. Let's insert a drone. I got your vibrator on. Put a drone in place. I actually feel lightheaded.

Are you ready? I don't feel good. Are you ready? You need to say, Ryan, I'm ready. Ryan, I'm ready. Been waiting for that for a while so bridget looks at her pointer finger and says oh i seem to have lost my nail i wonder where it is three two one she's done it we've done it best friends best friends i said haveffs live laugh laundry long time yes and fucking obviously james is fired? Fucking see you later, James. As soon as I heard it, I'm like, oh, God. Oh, my God.

Now, can you see just for a moment in the post-game analysis? Post-game analysis. We've got the whiteboard with her. Can you now see that if you said, oh, did you check the bathroom, that I would have looked like a fucking real creep? How's it feel, bestie? Best friend. Best friend.

What a day. What a day. What a day. What a day. So does that mean that next year on the 24th of April 2025 we'll have some sort of celebration? Because it's now our best friendiversary. Oh, write it down. Write it down.

Make note. April 24. April 24. Big day. I can't believe that. Make note. April 24. April 24. Big day. I can't believe that. And my follow-up question is can anyone check if that's where the nail is? I had a look yesterday and I wasn't looking for that.

Are you exhausted after that? I actually am. That is fucking. I really got worked up because I was really nervous. I really wanted to get it right. See, I do know you. Yeah, you do. And I know you.

Yep, BFFs. Fuck, I'm going to call Dave Parsons and fucking really rub that in. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck. Oh, my God. Well, I don't think I could then share another You Love To See It. That feels like my You Love To See It for the day. No, it's okay.

Go ahead. I've got a You Love To See It here from Annie who shared this to us in Patreon and sent us a message. My boyfriend and I are doing long distance. He's in Cairns and I'm in Brisbane and he's a teacher. Ages away, yeah. So, like, obviously day-to-day working, like, full days. It's not like, oh, I do three on and one off and I get a week

every fucking month to see you or whatever. Annie's boyfriend spent the two-week school holidays with her and she sent his a couple of days ago, but she said, I dropped him off at the airport, the Savo, and I just, like, kept thinking about how much, like, long distance really sucks, but also that it's so good that we're really good at communicating and we've got a great relationship because we're like always planning

when to see each other next. Like you don't take each other for granted as much. And like she just basically said like, oh, I'm just, my love to see it is just being really grateful for my boyfriend and he's so passionate about his job and it's really hard and I'll be crying for the next five to ten business days. Great.

But I just, you love to see that, Annie. You love to see that. And we're sending you lots of love. We hope that you're okay. When I lived in Bunbury, like before I moved for that job, Torbs and I lived together and then I moved away, but I saw him like on the weekends. I guess that

is long distance but not like when people go months without seeing each other like and we were able to talk through the week and stuff because we like yeah yeah of course you know like it's not as if he was different times or whatever is it um but yeah so annie was like oh yeah i'm really sad but I'm just really proud of him. You love to see that. I'm so glad that you guys have such a great relationship, but we're sending you lots of love. Tarpis Sarah.

Hi, Sarah. Said, I've struggled in the past advocating for myself, sticking up for myself. Relatable. Yep. With Botheth. It's Mike Tyson who's written in with my Botheth. Sarah.

With bosses and other people in power especially men yeah uh today my boss sent a group email to our team that myself is a part of and another woman is a part of and uh said like good day gents or hello gentlemen you know here's what we're off to today blah blah blah fuck? And I decided, fuck it. I'm going to say something about it. And it paid off. Not only did the boss reply to the whole thread and said, I'm an idiot. Apologies.

And copped it and was like, oh, sorry. I'll wear that. And then he also emailed me separately saying, you're awesome. You're doing a great job. Sorry again. I hate that you feel excluded because you're such an important part of this team and please like accept my apology and I'll make a big effort going forward and keep doing what you're doing

because you're a very valued member of the team here. That's so great. Oh, fucking good on you for sticking up for yourself. But how awesome that that boss went like, yeah, I actually fucked up. I'm so sorry. I will cop that. Yeah, and publicly as well was like, oh, hey, everyone, bit of a typo. Yep.

Well, not a typo but like bit of a fuck up from me, you know. That's awesome. She said, best feeling ever. You'll love to fucking see it. So good on you, Sarah. Good on you, Sarah. Yep. Good on you.

This is the best day of my life. Yeah? Yeah. And the only thing that could make it better would be. Grilled. Fucking. We're a perfect match. We really are.

We're soul sisters. Yes. Hey, soul sister. Hey, Mr. Mr. Isn't that band? Train. Like, huge band has had so many bangers, but couldn't they just be in any pub on any Sunday and you just go.

Could be anyone. Yeah. Train are amongst us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They are. They are.

All right. Well, I hope that everyone can recover from the best day ever of everyone's life. See you tomorrow. Normal or nah. Fucking love ya. Have a great day. Let us the best day ever of everyone's life. See you tomorrow. Normal or nah. Fucking love ya. Have a great day. Let us know if you find Bridget's nail. Great response from you.

Love you. Bye.