Toni and Ryan - LORE and Order

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

This episode reallllyyy goes a lot of places. Lore, Law, and LOL (hahahaha) love u xooxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name's Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge, and we are calling Maxwell, who's in Chicago. Maxie. Oh, Chicago. I love Chicago. I moved to Chicago fucking yesterday. Yep. I'll live with Max. Tony and Ryan. Hi, Max. How are you doing? How the hell are you guys? We're good. We were just talking about would we maybe be able to move in with you because Ryan and I love Chicago.

Well, me and my wife have a guest room. You just have to fight over the bed. We won't fight over it. We'll share, Max. We'll fight in it. Oh, mummy and daddy are wrestling again. Oh, no. Where are they going to sleep?

Maxwell, Tony's also been showing me photos of your tiki bar at home. Which is definitely making us want to move even more. Yeah. So when you invite us over, that's not the hard bit. The hard bit will be getting rid of us. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you guys are more than welcome to come by anytime you want.

Awesome. Done deal. The whole point is to host and entertain. I'm not liable if you can't stand up afterwards, though. That's not my fault. I've been to some tiki bars in my time and trust me, it's never on the owner. But Max,

will you approve today's episode? Oh, absolutely. Hey, this is Max from Chicago and I approve this podcast. welcome to the show and can i just say tony and everyone that works here and by everyone i mean james and sophie they're all having fun together everyone yeah that's why i thought i'd clarify because when i said everyone it sounds like there's 58 people here. I was about to say it sounds like it's a real production. Now, everyone's having fun.

I'm not including, I don't get the joke, but everyone else is having fun. So I guess that's fine. Have you seen 30 Rock? Yeah. Oh, well then jokes on you for not knowing it if you reckon you've seen it. The Roger. Everybody will enjoy that who's listening that has seen 30 Rock. That's like in the first season as well, I think.

That's early on, first or second season. And did you know that that's John Oliver's wife? Tina Fey? Yes. Yep. Moving right along. Fantastic. Oh, The Roger.

Yes. Oh, my. I don't know. Season one, too. Thank you, James. Is anyone speaking English on this fucking podcast? And that's coming from me. That's real 30 Rock lore for me to know that.

L-O-R-E. L-O-R-E. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We all good? I'm just imagining somebody starting, like, a medieval podcast called Lore and Order, but it's l-o-r-e it exists one of

the original podcasts is l-o-r-e no but i'm saying that if it was law and culturally it's known as an order what is it no it's not um google it right now okay hang on law podcast that's one of the og greats no like cereal but i'm podcasts. Oh, I love the font. 250 episodes. Oh, we've passed them. We've way surpassed them in amount. That's like crazy to think about a podcast that's like that big and started ages ago.

I'm like crazy. It is crazy. No, but I'm saying like, you know, know the tv show law and order it's pretty famous imagine if there was like a thing and then it was like law and order and it was like the murderer is dead wow spoiler alert for the first episode that's actually gonna be the 18th episode the murder of being dead is the art that's what's happening at the end.

I was going to say, that happened in the first scene, the first step. I don't know where you go from there. Yeah, like how do you go backwards? Are we going to find out who it is? Yeah, it's that guy. He's dead. He's already dead and you go, oh, shit. No wonder they only did 250 episodes.

Yeah. They ran out of stuff to talk about. And then they just play the tune for the next half an hour. And an ad plays. Mailchimp. Get me undies. Better health. Blue spoon.

Reflex paper. For all your paper needs Before we go deep In the law Into confessions Because it's Tuesday and these are top confessions Please submit yours To TonyandRyan.com.au This one's called

Same Name Shame So that fast Same Name Shame Thank you that fast. Same Name Shame. Fuck, that was good. Thank you. You look fucking good today. I'd fucking take you from behind at the beach shack. Show me

your sack at the beach sack. Are you trying to end off on an episode of Law and Order? What? Are you going to kill me? Are you going to kill me? No, it sounds like you're going to kill me. What's SVU? Oh, it's Special Victims Unit. Bam, bam. See what I did there?

No, I'm not allowed to watch that show. My mum says it's too scary. I'm 39, so I haven't seen it. Yes. My high school crush had the same name as my dad. And we already know the whole story. I mean, immediately. Immediately, you're like, you can't.

Yell that name out. Yell that name out. All right. My high school. Imagine, Ryan, if you were like, oh, Rod. Is that your dad? You're not gay. Yeah, I see.

I see, I see, I see. Imagine if you were like, Mandy. That's fucked. Don't do that. I see, I see, I see. Imagine if you're like, Mandy. That's fucked. Don't do that. Your wife's name is Bridget. James and Sophie, can you let me know when Tony's done? My high school best friend Alex, in brackets female, was dating a guy also named Alex, which is worse.

I'm so confused. Well, let me lay it down for you. Yeah. Would you rather be dating someone with the same name as your dad or would you rather be dating someone the same name as you? Because Tony is like a, you know, there's male. Bisexual name. Yeah.

What? That's not what it is. Yeah, it doesn't. Yeah. Well, so because I'd probably rather, oh, the same name feels like narcissistic. Real narcissistic. Like you're having sex with someone and you're yelling your own name. It sounds like you're fucking yourself.

Yeah. Which, I mean. Yeah. If you were jerking off and you were yelling your own name, I'd be fucking worried about you. Oh, Tony. Yeah. So my boyfriend, Torbs, he's called Alex. Alex, yeah.

And his first girlfriend is called Alex. So they were a double Alex. Did he find that strange? I haven't asked him about their sexual relationship. Really? Yeah, I have, but it's not for the podcast. But I'm just moving along. Yeah, okay.

But because Torbs- Did she say, do you reckon he enjoyed with her more than you? Because Torbs and I are Alex and Tony. Yeah. Whenever we go somewhere, they never know whether to expect two women, two men, and they don't know which one we are. Because when Alex and Tony roll, yeah, it could be anything. They go, which one's which? And so when we dropped Pippa off at her, like,

boarding, like, dog holiday place. Sorry. You're going to take a breath and have another crack at that? I'm actually going to. I'm backing that in. We're sticking with that? She opens the door and she goes, oh, I was expecting two gay boys. You should have just looked her dead in the eye and go, and here we are.

Here we are. And just see her panic. But, yeah, she goes, oh, I was expecting two gay boys. Sorry to disappoint you with our hetero fucking ways. Yeah, I'm so sorry. A couple of breeders here. But, yeah, and I guess she was like. Is she a dog breeder? She should have got it. That's, and I guess she was like- Is she a dog breeder?

She should have got it. That's funny. Thank you. No, she's not a dog breeder. She just looks after him. But anyway, so the name thing, very confusing, but I think I'd rather some with the same name because yelling out your dad's name or your parents' name,

too strange. There was a time when I might have done breakfast radio on the Central Coast with Mandy, a person named Mandy. Yeah. And I was just like. Was it Mandy Catalano? No. Oh, my God.

Imagine that. But same thing. Who cares? What? Oh, your mum's name. I was like, your name's not Mandy. I was like, Mandy and Andy? I'm like, what do you care?

What does it matter? Because when we were going to a family thing, it was always like, oh, Mandy and Ryan are here. And so then to host a show and be like, hey, it's Mandy and Ryan. It's you and your mum? Yeah, every day I'd be like, oh, this feels weird. Oh, hi, mum. Morning, mum.

Yeah. Mum came around for breakfast this morning. Did she? And Mabel got to see the Mandy and Ryan show firsthand. Did you like it? Yeah, indifferent. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Probably better than this. Yeah. Although she got fed at that one, so. Oh. Yeah. That is good. I never get fed here.

No one ever feeds me. That's a fucking lie and you know it. No, we did actually. I put a Vietnamese roll through you yesterday. And a banh mi as well. And a banh mi as well. And a banh mi and a Vietnamese iced coffee. Fuck. I was up all night.

I'm not going to sleep till next Wednesday. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't mean tomorrow. I mean Wednesday week. Next week. Yeah. Bridget came home yesterday and said.

Oh, you're joking. The gall of that woman. So she was with my mum and mum goes, oh, I'm away for a week, Saturday week. And Bridget just came home and said, what the fuck does that mean? Can't people just say next Saturday or this Saturday? What is Saturday week? Yeah.

What does that mean? And she was all revved up. I do get it. Thank God Bridgeton came out so she could calm down. Where's your mum off to? Yarra Earring? No, Earring Station. Oh, right.

That's a joke that no one will understand. But you don't have to acknowledge that it's a joke at all. We can just move on. Oh, no, I will explain it. No, I don't think it needs anything. I will explain it. There's two different wineries in the Yarra Valley. One is called Yarra Earring and one is called Earring Station.

And my mum refuses to believe that they're different places. Yeah. And she will correct you. Yeah. I'm going to Earring Station. No, you mean Yarra Earring. You mean Yarra Earring. They're actually two separate places. Yeah. And she will correct you. Yeah. I'm going to Yearing Station. No, you mean Yarra Yearing. You mean Yarra Yearing. They're actually two separate places.

Yeah, no, but it's called Yarra Yearing. Yeah, you got it wrong. What was I talking about? The same names. Mandy and Ryan. Let me read this fucking confession. Sorry. Same name, shame.

Yep. Same name, shame. It says, my high school crush and I had been chatting on MSN. Hot. And this is like pre-social media when MSN was like all it was. That's all you had, yeah. And just a reminder, the crush, same name as the dad. We just, I mean, we already know the story, don't we?

We decided to exchange naughty photos. Did you ever have a webcam? No, but it seems like one of us did. No, I didn't. So you didn't see Robert Pattinson when you had an online fling? Or did he see you and he didn't have one? I think that might have been the order it went in, yeah. So you had a webcam, Rob Pattinson, because he was on set of Twilight.

He was so busy, you guys. So he didn't have – and he was on camera all day. Yeah, and like as if he would want another camera pointing at him at night. Yeah, so you are. No, I never did webcam with. Robert Pattinson. Rita. What was it, Rita?

Yeah. From, yeah. From America. Yeah, no, it wasn't him. I'd just taken what I thought was a sexist. Sorry, I'm rattled. I'm rattled. I'd just taken what I thought was a super sexy boob pic.

Just one tit. Yeah. I don't know. It doesn't seem that sexy when you're just like, oh, I'll get a tit out and take a photo. But also saying a sexy boob pic. Yeah. Saying boob is not like a sexy way of talking about boobs.

All right. In the sentence. Oh, no, I can't because I can't say tits without laughing. But obviously that's not a – I wouldn't say tits is a sexy word. What would you say? Look at my breasts. That's actually not bad. Yeah, look at me in the eye and say how you'd say it.

Don't touch my hand. Oh, sorry. It adds to the thing. Okay, fine then. Do you want to see my breasts? It doesn't work. That feels like a novel, like an adult. Oh, yes, it does.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at my chuzzies. Check out my sweater mates. Look at my boobs. Look at my titties. Check out my bazoombas. Check out my titties. Check out my bazoombas. Check out my man milk cannons.

Check out my headlights. Hey, sweetheart, you want to know how I can see in the dark? Check out these headlights. That's actually not bad. I don't hate that. So she's emailed the super sexy boob pic. Yep. Emailed it. Oh my god, that's actually not bad. I don't hate that. So she's emailed the super sexy boob pic. Yep.

Emailed it. Oh, my God. That's hilarious. Yeah. Same name, shame at Yahoo. Yep. While impatiently waiting for a response. Do you ever pre-read an email five times, panic, read it again, read it again.

Okay, it's fine. And then you send it and then you go to your sent thing and reread it again to see it from a sent perspective. Have you ever met me? I absolutely, of course, do that. So same name, Shane, went to the sent items just to make sure, went through and all good. And to my dismay, I sent it to my dad. How do you explain that to someone?

Like do you think you go, hey, I've sent you an email by mistake, can you just let me delete it and all good? Or do you just hope that you die overnight? Yeah, I think out of those two options, you would go option B. I think especially as a teenager, I reckon I would be like, I would just panic. But I think as a grown-up, if I sent a nude to the wrong person, I think I'd be like, I've sent you something that you weren't supposed

to get. Do you mind deleting it? Like, I think that you just try and be like a professional about it. Yeah, and we're forgetting that this person's in high school and fucking MSN. Like, I'm thinking about myself at 14. Hey, Dad, you know how I'm saying that guy with the same name as you? Yeah, so just like delete that email and we both don't have to ever talk about it again.

And I'm guessing your dad's going to be more panicked than you. Yeah. And he's going to go, yeah, okay. At 14, though, you can't do that. No. Yeah, no, no, no. The next confession, because you name yourself when you submit in a confession, but obviously you put in a fake name because it's anonymous.

This one has come from NotAndyMcDowell. Oh, my God. It's Julia Louis-Dreyfus. She's using a fake name because it's anonymous. This one has come from NotAndyMcDowell. Oh, my God. It's Julia Louis-Dreyfus. She's using a low-key username. Yep. I don't know the person, but it was a beautiful funeral and worth it for a trip to Vegas. I live a four-hour drive from Vegas,

close enough for a quick weekend blowout, and I needed a weekend blowout, but my job required me to work weekends. Oh, yeah, right. So you work every Saturday as well. It's only one day that I've got off, really, yeah. I told my boss a family member had died suddenly and I needed to go out of town to go to the funeral. And my boss, annoyingly, was so supportive.

Oh, it makes you feel worse, doesn't it? He sent me flowers to the office because he's like, you know, hey, when's the funeral? Is it next week? Yeah, cool. Take those few days off. All good. Here's some flowers.

I hope you're all right. And he was such a good listener. So I knew I needed to have information because he was the kind of guy that would come and go, so. Let's chat yeah was were they close to you yeah like those classic questions so i went online and found a random obituary obituary from a random person in vegas i fully committed i even posted a pic on my Instagram stories of the sunset with a beautiful quote. She may be gone in spirit. Ashes to ashes.

Yeah, but her soul will live forever. I told my boss what it felt like to no longer have her in my life. I went to Vegas, attended the service. Attended the service. Like literally attended the service. Oh, for the person who's obituary they've had. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's not a code word.

They went to the thing. Why? She committed. She's like, because he's going to ask questions. How was the service? How was this? What time is it? Oh, no, you can't go to the funeral.

And I saw it in the paper. Yep, 4 p.m. on Friday. Yeah, all good. That's when you just say it was beautiful, like, oh, no words to describe. It was lovely, a lovely testament to her life. Let me just read this sentence in full and we can. Okay. I told my boss what it felt like to no longer have her in my life.

I went to Vegas, attended the service, shed a tear or two, then got white girl wasted in Vegas with all my friends. I feel a little bit guilty, but I was so burned out and I just needed a break. And the fear of getting caught made me overcommit. They had a beautiful family, though, and the whole weekend was worth it. Oh. made me overcommit. They had a beautiful family, though, and the whole weekend was worth it. You know that sometimes as well when you're a bit burned out, you need a bit of a cry.

Yeah, just to get it out. So maybe it was really cathartic for our confessor, Julia Louis-Dreyfus. It's actually not Andy McDowell. Yeah, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, to go have a bit of a cry, realise how grateful she is for life, and then go and get fucking plastered with her girlfriends. I don't think there's a greater gift you can give people in your life than having a 4pm funeral on a Friday in Vegas.

You're asking for trouble, eh? No, you're gifting everyone the weekend of the year. Is that what you want me to do when I die? Plan my funeral for a Friday in Vegas? Yes. Well, you know, I think, have I told this on the podcast about my will? Yes, that we're having a big party. I've allocated $50,000 to Liam to organize a party on my behalf.

Yes. And I don't want, oh, he was a nice guy. Fuck that. Use the cash and get fucked up. Yeah. No, I love that. I saw a TikTok the other day and it was this girl bawling her eyes out and, like, the caption was, like, me at my best friend's funeral

and she's bawling her eyes out and she's holding a drink, like a martini or something. She's like, who the fuck gets murdered? And that's the video. What? Which I loved. I just loved that. Who the fuck gets murdered?

Who the fuck gets murdered? Hilarious. And why is there no chilli in this margarita? I ordered a double shot. So did the girl. May she rest in peace.. I ordered a double shot. So did the girl. May she rest in peace. And she got the double shot. See you later, piss.

Hey, this is Max from Chicago and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Everything, all the info, every link you need is in the episode notes. So the little description underneath every episode. But our Patreon has heaps of like cool content, like BTS videos of when we're recording and we fuck around and it doesn't make it to the pod, which sounds like, how is that even possible?

Yeah. After listening to today's episode, this is what makes it onto the podcast. This is what's made the cut. No, it's normally in between the two bits when we stop and then Tony is a fuckhead and I say, people need to see this. Yeah. People need to see this. Yeah. People need to see this.

There's an episode of a BTS like little video where I show my bum coming very soon. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Anyway, fucking love to see it. Matt Aldridge. Is that the time when you said, I think I pissed myself. Can you see if there's wee on the outside? Yeah.

I laughed so hard that I said, a bit of wee came out. Can we do a check of whether there's piss on my dress and if you and that's what friends are for that's our patrons sounding very early fans all of a sudden and it's like if you want to find out if you can see the piss yeah patreon.com subscribe now um uh matt aldridge good on you matt mckayla beverage those two names sound a bit similar yeah and they and they roll well together. Yeah, Matt and Michaela. Yeah, Eminem. Let's hook them up. Let's do it.

Jake Kierden, good on you, Jake. Yep. Laura Paquin and Jessica Meyer. Meyer, hardly know her. Now, this Saturday our movie marathon is happening, Tony's first ever movie marathon. I know, I'm a big girl. We've been chatting a little bit about what we're going to be watching.

But I've got a note here from the legal department that I think we need to discuss. Oh, no. So during the movie marathon, we want to be comfy. Yes. If you're coming, don't feel like you need to dress up and it's like some big event. It's in a beautiful old theatre, but no.

Cosy. We're going to be there for three movies, so fucking get cosy. Yeah. So we thought we would get for us to wear i thought you're gonna say imagine a word that sounds like hoodie but is missing the h i can't imagine it legally legally i couldn't imagine what that word would be what if it was like a blanket that had a little hat on it well that, I think they're called hooded blankets for legal purposes. Legally, that is a hooded blanket.

Yeah. And I think that sounds lovely. Doesn't it? That sounds better than anything I've got in my house. So, you know, I spoke to three people about this yesterday because they've seen it on Who are you talking to? You did this line. Who are you talking to?

I'm allowed to talk to other people. No, I've said no. No, I'm allowed to talk to other people. Legally, I've said no. No, I'm allowed to talk to other people. Legally, I've said no. And I was at the pub last night with Phil, Rach, and Bridge and Mabel. What? So Phil goes, oh, that movie marathon looks like fun because Phil used to work at Hoyt like back in the day.

And he's like, yeah, like they're a good time. And he goes. Phil's cool. And I go, yeah, we're going to be wearing like Tony and Ryan and Paramount. Beeps. No, I said hooded blankets. And he goes, oh, you mean beep?

He didn't say beep. He said beep. And then I was like, no, Philip, they're called hooded blankets. Sophie walks into the bar and she goes, actually. Yeah. And then Rach goes, oh, that movie, yeah, I have seen something about that on social. And then I said, yeah, yeah, so we've got the Hooded Blankets.

And she goes, oh, you mean beep? And I was like. What are they trying to put us out of business? Oh, my God. I know. I know. We know. That no one in today's episode thread will mention the beep word.

The beep word. Because no one would get us in trouble because apparently we don't have permission from beep word to talk about fucking beep word. No, but that's okay because we've got something even better. Hooded blankets. Hooded blankets. And the beeps that we've got actually are a surprise, which is very fun.

Oh, great. Yeah. So that's going to be which is very fun. Yeah. Oh, great. So that's going to be a really fun surprise. Okay. Well, I only got to the first dot point of the legal note. So I'm guessing the second point was like, and don't mention it. And don't mention it. Yeah. Well, it was kind of like, and you won't need to mention it because it's a beep and surprise.

You stupid beep. All right. Our next point of contention yep is three movies yeah should we talk about this off quickly and see if this is something you're allowed to mention i'm backing it in um three movies sophie's about to have a fucking heart attack yeah do you want to take a walk so if you look stressed you can go come back the room am i liable for what happens next. She's a bit of a beep. As HR, you can't call her a beep. Sorry, Sophie. Thank you for apologizing.

She's not an odie. Tony! Tony! She's an odie! She's an odie! Beep that and post someone. Yeah. There's three movies.

So I believe when we arrive, there's like some snacks and like the candy bar kind of stuff is open, like free bar, open bar. Open bar. Like open candy bar. Yes. Yeah. So it's like, again, get comfy in your beep and go and get some candy, get your popcorn and snacks, all good, settle in.

And then I think the first movie. And because it starts at one. Yeah. Have lunch before you come. Well, that's why we said. We're providing food. No, no, no, no. But like if you've had like a brunch slash lunchish meal beforehand,

then you're like going to feel good until, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like starting at one, I feel like you assume, cool, you've eaten lunch already. Okay. Okay. Do you know what I mean?

So then the first movie finishes at like three or four and then we're having- How fucking long is it? My heart will go on. Are you fucking kidding me? We're getting there at one. The first movie is going to finish at four. No, I think the first movie is at two.

I'm not coming. The first movie starts at two. Anyway, there's been some chat because after the first movie, we've got like fun pastries. And Tony Lodge said fun pastries sounds like a bit of a late night thing. Feels like morning tea to me. Oh. Okay, and here's what I'm proposing.

Here's what I just want to put out into the No, I'm not proposing. So excited. Here's just a statement I want to put into the universe. He changed it to statement. Yeah. Oh, Ryan statemented it to me this morning. Yeah, he got

down on his knees and statemented it all over me. And I left him he got down on his knees and statemented it all over me. And I left him with a statement on his forehead. Made his beard dirty, if you know what I'm saying. That's too much. Let me take a sip out of my off-brand Stanley cup. Oh, not your beep. Your beep jupe. My beep cup.

Beep cup. So you know how it's always after midday in an airport? You can drink at any time. Oh, yeah. Like time does not exist. I think when we're talking about lollies, ice creams, choc tops, whatever, if you're in or near a cinema, you can eat whatever the fuck you like whenever the fuck you like.

There are no rules about times. I actually appreciate that. I think I asked you about this semi-recently, and I don't think you remembered. At Hoyt's in Perth, there was Hoyt's that had Eagle Boys pizza attached. You definitely haven't mentioned that because I would remember because that is amazing. Okay, and there is amazing. Okay.

And there was Eagle Boys Pizza. Especially Eagle Boys as well. Yeah. Fucking old school. Oh, no, you did say- Yeah, no, I do remember this. Yeah. The other cinema. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes. So there was like a Eagle Boys Pizza in the candy bar. So they had like all the normal popcorn and shit and then they had that and you could get a pizza and take it into the cinema. How do other cinema goers feel well this is the thing all i can smell is like cheesy salty pepperoni like whatever yeah and i'm like this popcorn is mean but someone else is eating a pizza but it's not when you can popcorn compared to no popcorn popcorn popcorn's great. Popcorn compared to pizza that you can smell, it's like fucking nothing. Exactly.

It's maths. Yep. Yeah. The ratio of like zero to nothing is popcorn versus pizza. Beep. All right. Thursday on the show, you're going to hear us calling from a private number. A few of our winners.

And if they answer the phone with, I want to spend the night with Tony, they're in. And if they don't, they're not. Yes, I think you're going to hear from a few winners and a few losers. When we did this last time with Tony's box, everyone felt awful for Not Julia Morris. And I don't want to preempt anything, but... I almost cracked as well. Winners and losers on Thursday's show. I got to love to

see it. And it's actually a recommendation for people with babies or young toddlers or anyone, any child that can sit up on its own. Offspring. Yeah. So my daughter, Mabel, doesn't have a lot of hair. So my favorite thing to do is to, well, you know when kids, children like to do what they see their parents doing. And so because I sit in my desk chair at home, Mabel goes, oh, that looks like fun.

Yeah. And so she wants to sit in my desk chair and it's like a swivel chair. Yeah, right. And because Mabel doesn't have much hair, I like to sit her in the thing, spin it around and then do like Dr. Evil quotes. And it is the funniest thing and I recommend it to everyone. So she's facing the other way. So she's like your mini-me. Yeah, yeah.

So I say, Bridget, you sit in the other seat. And then Bridget goes, why? And she can just see the back of the desk chair. So she's like your mini-me? Yeah, so I say, Bridget, you sit in the other seat and then Bridget goes, why? And she can just see the back of the desk chair and we kind of see Mabel's hands holding them. She goes, Mabel? And I go, yeah. Then I spin Mabel around and go, one million dollars!

And it's the fucking greatest thing in the world and it's a hard recommend from me. If you've got a kid, test it out. That's amazing. Yeah. I love that. I love to see that. And I'm also trying to teach her to like put her hands together,

like the evil sort of, even like a Mr. Burns-esque sort of thing. Yeah, amazing. And so then I said, hey, Bridge, go out of the room and then come back in. And so Bridge goes out of the room. Bridget's like, I've got things to do. She actually does have lots of things to do. And then Bridget comes back into the room and Bridget's like, I've got things to do. She actually does have lots of things to do. And then Bridget comes back into the room and I'm holding Mabel's with her hands together.

And she goes, I've been expecting you. Comedy. The height of comedy. Thank you. That's amazing. Thank you. I've been very proud and I recommend that to everyone. That's so good.

I'm going to shave Pippa just so I can do that. Yeah, it doesn't work if the baby's got a lot of hair because it doesn't look like Dr. Evil. It doesn't look bald. Yeah. But that's why I've got this window where I can trust Mabel on a swivel chair, but she doesn't have hair yet. And I feel like there's only a small window

where those two things exist. A hundred percent. And it has to be before she can talk and steal your gags. I'd love her to steal my gags. No, but like the fun is that you're like, oh, it's like a man's voice coming out of this tiny baby. You know what I mean? One million dollars!

That's amazing. Thank you. You know when he's like, million yen. That's what you should do today. I've got a love to see here from Ella who submitted this through our website TonyandRyan.com.au and she says walking with the podcast, I've moved

out of my parents' place and into a rental in a completely new town where I don't really know anyone. I've started going for walks after work to calm my anxiety, and I found the podcast has, like, helped me get out there, and walking is, like, the only time really that I can, like, listen and focus. You guys make me laugh so much I forget, like, all my anxiety and, like, the stress of my life

and whatever and i just like walk for hours so thank you for making me like get out there and feel brave to like do my thing 10 000 steps baby good on you ella that's awesome that is good i also find it's no mabel doing mr burns and dr evil but it's pretty good i don't want to say baby steps because of the irony hilarious thank you you're funny today yeah nah it's pretty good. I don't want to say Baby Steps because of the irony. Hilarious. Thank you. You're funny today. Yeah, nah, it's a weird one. It must be your beep. I think it's the beep cup. It might be your beep cup. The Stanley Cup. Am I a hot funny girl?

Stop saying beep. No brand names. Except for when we did all those ads right at the beginning of this episode with the reflex paper, etc. Yeah. The beep paper. Yeah, considering we're beeping out. That happened today. Yeah, that feels like 10 years ago.

Can we go? Yes. I feel like it's time. Yeah. Love you so much. We'll be back tomorrow. What's on the show tomorrow? Does he get a You Love to See It?

He did the fucking baby. Oh. Oh. Sophie. I thought that was, I didn't hear you say you loved to see it. Did I? Sophie, fuck, dude. I think we have been here for 10 minutes.

Yeah. Fuck, are you okay, man? Holy shit, no. You actually, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. You did tell Sophie to take a walk before. I did. Maybe she only just got back and she didn't hear it. Mentally, she did.

That's okay. So I think that's okay. Earlier this episode, I actually apologized to Sophie. And I would like to retract. Because you called her a beep. Because I called her a beep. I would like to retract my apology. Okay. It's too late.

I got it recorded. All right. Hey, tomorrow on the show, we're talking about superstitions. And remember, it was like a few weeks ago where someone goes, oh, you can't do that because of this. And you go, well, that's ridiculous. But then you go, oh, but maybe just in case it's real. Yeah.

So a few tarpers have done some weird as fuck just in case. Amazing. And we'll share those with you tomorrow. Love you. Bye.