Toni and Ryan - Losing Your V Card

Episode Date: April 13, 2023

Everyone has a story from their first time, and here are some of yours! Plus Ryan has a gripe with fancy bathrooms. Love ya! Toni xo [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. I'm joined by best-selling author Tony Lodge and we are calling and I'm just I'm just reading what it says on the form. We're calling Lizzie McAnulty. No, it's Lizzie McAnulty. I think it's McAnulty. I think it's McAnulty because I've spoken. Hi, this is Lizzie. Hey Lizzie, I was just reading on your form. Can you please confirm that you have written it's Lizzie McAnulty? Oh, it's Lizzie McAnulty, but it's spelt wrong,

so it looks bad, doesn't it? Damn it. I spelt it right, but I feel like in history it's spelt wrong. Oh. Like the name has been spelt wrong. Yeah, yeah. It's just awful. I thought you were making a joke.

I thought you were being funny. No, I'm really sorry. I'm not that funny. Don't worry. Neither is Ryan. You guys have that in common. Excuse me. Just to confirm how not funny Lizzie is, on the form I always say,

like, what do you do for a living? And she said, I'm a boring public servant. Oh, it's true. I don't mean boring. I just, I really hate explaining my job. I just do stuff for people. And, like, I don't know, they're fine with it. Okay.

Well, consent is important, so I'm glad that people are fine with it. Lizzie, and will you approve the podcast? Oh, I guess so. You've been quite rude about my name, though. Yeah, no, I feel awful. I feel as well. We really didn't paint. We haven't painted Lizzie well.

We said, oh, she's so boring. She's so boring. She's made a joke about it. I said your name right, Lizzie. I feel like we can do that again. Lizzie, would you like to approve this podcast? Oh, yeah, of course. Oh, yay!

There you go. Hey, it's Lizzie from Canva and I am Prove This Podcast. All right, coming up today, and also this is a video show if you would like to watch it on the Spotify app or Smart TV. Tony is pulling some fucking weird faces. I was just posing. Coming up. For my friend's arm.

A follow-up with Tony's neighbour who she stole flowers from. Or we don't know if they were for her, against her, wrong. Like, there was a bit of a brouhaha. Yeah. There has been correspondence, and we'll get to that coming up soon. Also, I've got beef with, no pun intended, with fancy restaurants. They're doing something which they think is good and everyone will agree with me that it's actually bad.

Okay. You're looking like, oh, my God, are we ever going to be allowed to dine again? Yeah, we're not going to get cancelled, but I think someone needs. Are we going to get blacklisted from life? Someone needs to tell them. All right. And I reckon when you hear this, you'll be like, couldn't agree more. All right.

Yep. That's coming up soon. But last week we were, how did we get talking about, like, losing your virginity stories? How did that come about? I think someone just out of the blue sent us a great story. Yeah. And we went, we'll talk about that.

And then whenever we talk about something, they just flood in. And haven't they flooded in? The power of the people don't say flooded in. Yeah, especially what we're about to hear. Yeah, thank you. That's actually the joke. The joke is obviously that I'm like, oh, don't say flooded in because of what we're going to talk about.

Not like, why would I just say that otherwise? Sorry, I'm being supportiveuttery because of what we're going to talk about. Not like, why would I just say that? Otherwise. Sorry, I'm being supportive. Thank you. Cook's virginity stories, and we won't use names, but these are all from people who listen to the podcast. They have to be anonymous. They are. Yeah, okay.

Or actually, two aren't. No, but you can't. The ones that have to be anonymous are anonymous. Shmi and Shmon has called in. Some have put their name to them. Okay. Oh, maybe a fake name. Oh, okay.

What rhymes with Caitlin? Baitlin. Okay, we'll get to that. First of all, this bloke messaged us saying that he and this girl down the street always were a bit flirty. Like when they were teenagers, they went to the same school. You know, it's like a hot girl down the street. Do you know what was my ultimate fantasy was like, yeah, having like a neighbour or, you know,

yeah, that girl next door thing. Keep in mind we're about to tell a story about your next door neighbour. My next door neighbour? Yeah, coming up today. Oh, not that neighbour. Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Let's just really.

No, well, so when I was younger. Yeah. I actually don't know if I want to tell this story. Oh, we're in now. It wasn't a, it's not a virginity story, but I always wanted to be like that girl next door or whatever. And my like childhood neighbour, I always like had a bit of a crush on him. He listens to this podcast.

What's his name? May as well just say it. No, no, no, no, no. None of that. Huh? No, okay. No? Who?

Go on. Anyway, the fantasy ended up coming true. That's all we need to say. Let's keep going. Sorry, I wish that I hadn't started telling that story. Your house or his house? Both? Various. Park in. Your house or his house? Both. Various.

Park in between? Public or public grounds? On public grounds. Okay. So more than one occasion. Yeah. And all of the three things that you just mentioned, yes. So his house, your house, and just at random parks in between.

Yeah. Yep. Wow. But he listens to this podcast and no one's going to know. What's his name? I'm not going to say. Well, if he listens anyway, just give him a shout out. Nah.

Like he's a champion tarpon. But he is from Perth and he does love to smoke meats. That's all we've heard. Yep. Smoking his meat. No, no, no. He's very happily married now and that's all good. Anyway, yeah.

You're so awkward about this. Yeah, I am because it feels like a lifetime ago. Yeah, it does feel a bit like Kiss and Tell. Anyway, sorry. You wanted to be the main character energy. You wanted the girl next door. Yes, get it. Yep.

And he knew that she'd had sex before and because he hadn't, it was like, oh, she'll know what to do. Oh, yep. You're hoping for some guidance in that situation. Hang on. Can I just pause for a second? Yeah. Isn't it funny how one person in high school has sex at one time

and now they're obviously the expert and they know, oh, Jono's had sex. We'll ask him. He'll know. He knows all about it. Yeah, there was definitely a guy like that at my high school. Where they probably, like, slipped it in once in a park for 20 seconds. It was awful.

I'm like, well, he knows everything about sex. They still didn't know what they were doing either. That's what I'm thinking. I lost my virginity to someone who was also them losing their virginity oh that's nice you know so it was kind of just a bit of fumbling neither of us knew what we were doing i still probably don't really know what i'm doing to be fair and i'm almost 30 so yeah but i think there's something nice in like if they're like way better than you then you're like i'm letting the team down here they know what they're doing and i'm like holding the bat boys at least you're like, oh, I'm letting the team down here. They know what they're doing and I'm holding it back. Whereas Leafs are like, hey, we're both figuring this out together.

Yeah, yeah. It was like common ground. Yeah. So. Common ground. Sorry. He said to her, hey, like, I think you're really cute. I haven't had sex before and I would love you to be my first.

Yeah, sorry, I've got a really itchy back and it's stressing me out. Was that your baffle? Or were you just itching your crack? No, it's like in my back. Oh, it's a bit of the cane from the chair. It's like broken off and he's stabbing me in the back. Oh, my God. I didn't know what it was.

Sorry, I've gotten distracted. No, no, you go. You go. Okay. I can't remember what he's been up to lately. No, it's all right. It's all right. Actually, I can push through.

So I've heard. I'm a pioneer woman. Yes. Anyway. Some women'm a pioneer woman. Yes. Anyway. Some women can have it all. Yeah. So he says, I would love you to be my first. And I don't really know what to do, but like.

That's quite endearing, I think. It is really cute. It was awesome, he says, and it felt so good. But, and I quote, straight away I knew that I wasn't going to last that long because of, I mean, it is what it to last that long because of I mean it is what it is don't even be embarrassed about it but we weren't using protection oh my god yeah how old were they young were they uh like teens like late teens they weren't using protection no oh my god well he hasn't caught anything from anywhere else well but it's more pregnancy you can catch

pregnancy from you know well that's where and not that we are, you know, team pull-out method because there's risks, folks. There's risks. No contraception is 100% perfect except for abstinence. Don't masturbate in the bath, though. Yeah. Hot tub. Did you ever hear that rumour that someone at the school in the suburb

ever got pregnant in a hot tub? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. And then, like, you know the person, the suburb ever got pregnant in a hot tub? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. And then, like, you know the person, you're like, oh, yeah, hot tub. Yeah. Is that what you're calling those five blokes in the back of the Commodore?

So he. Sounds like a good time, actually. Yeah. He goes, oh, I'm, like, I'm about to finish. Like, what do I do? Because I'm not wearing a coat. Yeah. And she just goes, oh, grab that sock and just put your, you know, things in there.

Now, again, young, don't know what to do, about to. Yep. Cheers. Let me just read what is. Okay. I actually need to take a breather. You look very stressed. I am stressed because this is stressful.

I'm sorry. Our producer goat in the corner over there. What she meant, because that's what she said, but they've both interpreted it different ways. What she meant was, like, finish in the sock because, you know, mess, clean up, blah, blah, blah. But I thought she meant put the sock over it like a condom. So I put the sock over my junk and then, like,

tried to put it back in. No. Now you know why I'm stressed and I've been rattled today because that's all I can think about. Oh, that poor girl. And then she goes, what are you doing? And he's like, oh, just kidding around, and then just, like, finished.

What a vulnerable moment. Like what an awful time to be misinformed. Yeah, misinformed. But like he was so embarrassed and then it was like, and jizz. Yeah. Oh, in front of this cute girl. Who's laying there trying not to get banged by a sock found on the ground. Which had probably been the sock that they just took off.

So it's probably a bit hot and sweaty and sandy. That's how you get athlete's foot. Yeah, athlete's foot. More like athlete's mort. Take that. Sorry. Actually, you can tell. Watch the tape back.

I didn't know I was going to say that. I can't be held accountable for things that I didn't foresee. Can I just put something out there? Yeah. We usually record earlier in the morning. Yeah. And we're recording late in the day today. Are we both just like fucking so tired or dumb?

Oh, I feel like we were zizzed up. No, but like crazy tired. Zizzed up. Like it feels different. Oh, do you reckon? Or maybe I was just envisaging this guy trying to put a sock in a girl and it's just fucking thrown me for six. I mean, it is pretty frightening.

Let's move on to Tarpa Bateland. Master Bateland. This is a quick one. Bateland and her friend were sharing stories like in their mid-20s, like reminiscing about back in the day about when they lost their virginity. Yeah. And it wasn't until seven years later when they were having this casual chat that they both realised they lost it to the same guy.

Oh, my God. And I think they worked together just like on their lunch break, like shooting the breeze. Is this finally the right time for me to say Tunnel Brothers or is it still wrong? No. Fuck. I'll get there.

I'll get there. Tunnel Brothers would be two guys sharing a tunnel so either so either two guys sleeping with the same guy or girl they'd be sausage sisters yeah yeah is that right yeah yeah virginity sausage sisters yeah first time sausage sisters um losing your v card says jim and, who also asked, is that just the thing that people in the UK say? Nah. Did we say that here? Yeah, I've heard that.

And V-plates as well. I was going to say V-plates. Yeah. I wonder if that's American as well. Is that a play on P-plates? I would have thought so, yeah. Yeah, nice. But the V-card...

Yeah, it was like you got your V-card and you got to hand it in kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I've heard that, but maybe I've heard it through TV and stuff. Gem said she lost her V-card on a rowing machine at her first boyfriend's mum's house. That actually sounds hot as fuck. Yeah. Does it? So the chair's sliding and you're like, because you're on a rowing machine.

Oh, is that what she means? Yeah. They, because you're on a rowing machine. Oh, is that what she means? Yeah. They're on the seat on a rowing machine? I reckon it sounds like the reality might be a lot harder. Yeah, true. Because, yeah, how strong are your legs? Our small teenage brains thought the sliding effect of the rowing machine would give our virgin hips some more oomph and power.

Well, that's funny, but they thought the exact same thing as me. I'm 29. We were wrong, says Gem. Yeah. Would not. Hard to control, wouldn't it? Would not recommend. Okay.

All right. I won't go to my 24-hour gym and try that. Hi, it's Lucy from Canva and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Yeah. Hi, it's Lucy from Canberra and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapions from the Patreon. Christine, Tiffany Edson, thank you very much. Thanks, Tiff. Cam Cicerello. Cicerello. In Perth, there's a place, Thanks, Tiff. Cam Cicerello, Cici Riello.

In Perth, there's a place, a fish and chip shop called Cicerello's. And they're good? Oh, yeah, it's like the elite. So there's that one. I feel like, you know how you're either like a Coke or a Pepsi girl? Yeah. Yeah, so it's like you're either a Cicerello's or you're a Kalis Bros person.

Don't you reckon? So producer Cam's also from Perth. And is there like beef? So they're on the same wharf. That's what I mean. Oh, in Frigo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah, yeah.

I'm a Kalis girl. I'm a Kalis girl, yeah. Sorry about that. Not that I have a problem with you, Cam Sissierio. If you go anywhere. Oh, this is a big call. Big call. Yeah.

People from out of Australia or travelling or whatever, if you go to Perth and you don't have heaps and heaps of time, make sure one of the things you definitely do is go down to the Frio Wharf and have fish and chips. It's a very Perth thing. Yeah. And it is actually great. Frio is sick as well.

There's heaps of markets. But, yeah, I'm a Kalis girl. And then as an adult, well, not as an adult, I was probably 17, my like out of high school job was working at Kalis but the one in Leederville, the fancy one with the restaurant. Thank you. Yeah, worked in the fish market next door. Oh.

Yeah. Not quite as long. So many hot boys because they were all rich. Yeah. Because it was like real richy, bitchy area. I caught the train like an hour and a half to get to work every day from Rolling Stone to Leaderville. Fuck that.

Anyway, Beck, Laura Roberts and Bo Saverin. Thank you so much for being part of this. Have you been to Bo Saverin's? Saverin Young Blanc. Like the line. Saverin Young Blanc. Savvy boot. All right. Tony Lanc. Savvy boot. All right.

Tony Lodge, I have been extremely curious for the last few days about what's going on in your apartment building. Can you please fill us in? Bring us up to speed with what happened last time. Okay. So a few weeks ago I had a book launch event because I wrote a book. It's called I Don't Need Therapy and I'd Love to Tell Myself. You can buy it at a link in our bio.

I was about to leave my house. I live in an apartment. I was about to leave my house and fell over the guy from next door and went, oh, my God, I'm so sorry, like I'm just rushing off, and then got to the book event and he was sitting in the front row. He was there, yep. And then I kind of met him and introduced myself, and he's a really lovely guy.

Yep. And then I kind of met him and introduced myself and he's a really lovely guy. But then I realised when he told me that his name was Blah, I realised that a few weeks previous to meeting him and realising all of this, I had gotten flowers delivered to my house that were to Blah. Sorry, they said, congratulations, Blah. I love you, XXX.

But obviously, before that point, I didn't know who Blah was, so I didn't bother following up. I didn't bother doing any investigating. But wasn't there some confusion that you were like, maybe it's from Blah and not to Blah? So the note said, congratulations, exclamation mark, Blah, exclamation mark. So we don't know whether it's congratulations, Blah. So the note said, congratulations! Exclamation mark. Blah! Exclamation mark. So it could be, so we don't know whether it's congratulations, blah,

or congratulations from blah. Yep. But then at the bottom it did say, I love you, XXX. And you did keep the flowers. Yes, I did. I didn't tell anybody because I was like, I can't be bothered following that up. I actually, sorry, I actually, I didn't keep my three of them out.

I didn't even enjoy the flowers. I was just like, can't be bothered dealing with that. I actually, sorry, I actually didn't keep my rhythm out. I didn't even enjoy the flowers. I was just like, can't be bothered dealing with that. Like, cool, see ya. Like, which is just the weirdest response to anything ever, but I just didn't do anything with them. So you promised me and you promised people who listen to this podcast that you would text, message, DM, we got a knock on the door? Where do we get to there?

So I think knock on the door is what we said on the pod yeah and then i was like i really don't know how to kind of go about this um i found blah on instagram followed them back obviously and realized that he had messaged me and said hey hope that wasn't awkward that i live next door. Like I respect your privacy and stuff, blah, blah, blah. And then we kind of. Well, he says an in there. Yeah, and he's a really nice, he's honestly a lovely guy. Yeah, we have to say that. He lives next door and listens to the show.

What else are you going to say? And so we kind of messaged back and forward a little bit before I was like, all right, I'm going to drop the hammer and tell blah about the flowers. Subtle toning. So random one. So I don't know if you know this. What are you? So we're going backwards and forwards.

We're messaging backwards and forwards on Instagram, which is quite nice. And then I say this message about the flowers. And he left me on read for the whole weekend. Now, if there's one thing I know about Tony, how did you go for that weekend? Well, I just kind of kept checking back. I was like, maybe I haven't got the notification.

And I really wanted an end to it. I really actually desperately wanted to know what the go was. Yeah, and I know when, yeah, that would kill you. It was itching at me the whole time. Yeah, I bet. And then I'd kind of given up hope. And I think even you said to me like, oh, did you end up talking to them?

And I was like, no, I don't really have an answer for you. I ended up getting a reply. Woo! This was like four days later after I'd messaged. And they said, oh, couldn't tell, like no one's mentioned anything, but they're definitely not from me. And I was like, oh, okay. Because I was like, maybe he just doesn't want to admit

that he left flowers for me, right? Oh, no, you'd claim it. You'd say. Well, maybe it would, I don't know. Obviously after you said I threw them out, it didn't help. Yeah. Anyway, and then I get another message a couple of hours later from Blah and he says, oh, they're from my mum.

And don't I feel like the biggest arsehole? Because mum messages him and goes, oh, just wondering. How did those flowers turn out? Did you get those lovely purple flowers? And they said congratulations. What was he celebrating? So he just got his first client in his business. A beautiful moment in his life.

His own mum, must be nice, reaches out and sends some beautiful flowers and goes, oh, what happened with those flowers? And now he knows the answer and he can reply to his mum and say, they got put in a bin. By my horrible neighbour. Yeah. Yeah, so I feel really bad. But he said, it's okay.

She's so bad with numbers. Like she just got the wrong house or something. So I'm like, the mum's a bit older probably. I'm like, I just feel so bad. Are you going to buy him some flowers? I think I will buy some replacement ones. Will you say that these are from his mum or will you claim it? No, I'll be like, oh, to replace the bunch I rudely threw away. I think I will buy some replacement ones. Will you say that these are from his mum or will you claim it?

No, I'll be like, oh, to replace the bunch I rudely threw away. You wouldn't let the mum get the gift. Oh, no, I want the credit. Yeah, that's what I mean. And I respect that too. I just think it's like I always leave the price tag on a gift. Of course. Yeah, because I'm not a fuckhead. No, and if you gave me something without the price,

I'm like, did she steal it? Yeah, so I always leave the price tag on. Then they go, then when someone opens it and they go, oh, my God. And I go, oh, my God, you didn't say that, did you? Because I want them to know how much it was, but I don't want them to know that I want them to know, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

And I think. Because I'm selfless. I think you got, I can't remember what it was. You got me something that it wasn't clothing, but the size did not matter. But you're in to like tell me how much it was was like it like i think it might have been a pot or a vase or something what the i don't think i've ever bought you something like that but i just remember you going oh if you need to take it back

here's the receipt was it your birkenstocks i bought you birkenstocks that's it the size was wrong that was wrong yep but you made a point to the point where I was like, I can see there's a receipt. And you were like, here they are. Well, I'm just letting you know. I know there's a special on at the moment, but I didn't use it. Yeah, I think I probably did. Yeah, that sounds a lot like Tony.

Yeah, it does. Yeah. Just while I'm getting a bit angry, I'm actually just getting to work. Yeah, hold it up. I've actually got some beef of my own. I don't understand what this beef is and where it's come from. You never go out. How could you have beef?

You don't go anywhere. Yeah, I don't leave the house. You're right. The hospitality industry is getting too creative for its own good. Too creative? And they need to stop. Now, normally I'm pro-creativity. I like reading books on creativity.

You don't read books? I read your book and I'm reading Rick Rubin's book at the moment very slowly. So if you're a restaurant that has different bathrooms for different genders, stop getting overly creative with the words and the symbols telling me which one's which. I don't actually speak Latin. Yeah.

I'm not Tom Hanks. I ain't Da Vinci code and shit. I don't think that that's what he could do in that film. I'm pretty. I don't think. I haven't seen it. No, hang on. Is he a Latin professor?

He's a symbologist. Yeah. So I don't think. No, that's exactly what you need. You need to be a qualified symbologist to work out their symbols and go, well, what does that mean? I don't know the Austin Power fucking gender. I never know that either.

I don't know which is which. I can never tell. I don't know which is which. And then some of them are just two doors with like a squiggly line. I'm like, well, am I fucking supposed to know what gender that is? All right. All right. Let's play a game.

Okay. Two doors, right? Yeah. One has a squiggly line and one has an arrow. Which one's? Which way is the arrow facing? Down. The downward arrow is men.

But the squiggly line's a bit like a doodle. Have you seen a doodle before? It's a little bit like a doodle. The arrow pointing down is like women are grounded. You doodle. The arrow pointing down is like, women are grounded. You do one. This is a fun game without any prep. Okay, okay. Here's my one.

It's actually not a symbol. It's a sound. Okay. Oh, yes! Yep. So you walk up to one and one of them goes, hmm. And you walk up to the other one and it goes, hmm. Or the second one, that's the women's.

And the first one was the men's. No. No. Incorrect. No. No. Well, I'm going in the wrong place. I would have walked right into a urinal.

Yeah. And I'm like, it shouldn't be. Thank you for saying that. It shouldn't be up to me to have to fucking undo the algorithm and, like, get the chalk out and draw a thing. It's a situation where there should be no room for error. Because we're talking about something that you don't want errors in. Yeah.

I don't know Latin. I don't know symbologist. But what I do know is. I don't know symbologist. But what I do know is is that I'm about to shoot and I don't want to sit on a lady's lap because i've walked into the wrong room well hopefully that that person has locked the door i fucking hope so yeah but who knows maybe they don't know the symbols either so what happened this did this happen to you oh it's just not throwing it out

the engine no what was the symbol on the door that you didn't realise? No, because obviously it's like an M and an F and you went, oh, for blokes and m'lady, like, I don't know. Is that what happened? If it's an M and an F, I'll figure that one out, I reckon. Well, I'm just saying you're not a symbologist. And you're not. And that's okay. I actually not.

I can't be everything. Yeah, that's true. I can't be everything everywhere all at once. And who can be? I haven't seen that movie after the first 12 minutes. It's producer Cam's very favorite movie in the whole world. What I want you to know is there wasn't like an incident, but it is really embarrassing because you're like,

you're in a restaurant and you're like, where's the bathrooms? I'm like, I just have them in the background. Cool. So then I walked down the thing and I get there because I'd had like, I wasn't like drunk, but, you know, solid meal, two drinks, and, you know, you're a bit like. Delirious.

Yeah. And in like a fancy restaurant or any restaurant, the lighting's always low. Yeah. And so I think I was like if we had this meal at home, I would have been like laying on the couch like after Christmas dinner trying to stay awake. Like I was just a bit like, okay. And so i'm just in there in this haze and

just like looking at both doors going i don't actually know what was on the door well if i could explain it then i would know what it is and if i knew what it was but it was like it was like a drawing or a symbol it was like a visual. It wasn't a letter or a fucking story. But then this person comes up behind me. And he's kind of like, bro, what are you waiting for? Well, she goes, oh, is there a line? And I'm like, do I just pretend that there's a line? And so I went, oh, sorry.

I just, I'm a bit out of it. Which one's the guys? And then she looks and goes, jeez, they don't make it easy for you, do they? And I would actually say there was some camaraderie between the two of us. What? What was it? I already said we're recording in the afternoon and I've spent my... Camaraderie.

That's exactly what I just said. You said camaraderie. Point taken, okay. There was some camaraderie between the two of us and then she, and even she was like, it's not obvious, and then like pushed the door and kind of went, like peeked in and went, she's like, I think that's the ladies, but let me just,

and kind of just peeked in and went, oh, yeah, no, no, it is. So that'll be you over there. And I was like, oh, thanks, I'll have a great day. So I'm not great with facts, but the women's is always either first or second. Like it's either, it's either like always one, it's always one. I can't have this conversation with you one. It's always one. I can't have this conversation with you again. No, I know.

When did we have this conversation? I know. It was about me saying that. The sex, the pre-cum. The pre-cum. It either definitely can or will not get you pregnant. It's either way worse or it's fine. So what you're saying, out of the two doors,

the women's is always the first or the second. Yeah, but it's really like different. And I'm the one having a bit of an afternoon moment. Like, it's like. It's never the middle one. It's either, like, oh, the women's is always first or it's always second. Yeah, but it's not like, oh, you know, you can never tell. It's like one of them is one way.

So if it's like down a corridor, the women's is either always first. I reckon the more you explain it, the more. But you know what I mean? Yeah, I do. Like it's not sometimes first, it's not sometimes second. It's either always first or it's always second. You need to explain it three more times and then i reckon it'll click then you'll get uh do you agree that they're getting too creative i do i

do get what you mean because sometimes you look at them and you gotta go oh hang oh yep yeah you know like it's the they're just yeah there should be no room for error it shouldn't be open to interpretation yes yeah it should just be like that's clear. Thank you. Yeah. Lots of places now they've just got like the just like toilets. Unisex, thank you. I was going to say bisexual. And I was like, that's not it.

It's actually a bisexual. Well, that's your third option. That's the hookup zone. How do you feel about a gender neutral? I like them. I'm all for them because if it makes everybody comfortable the only time that i've gone into a unisex toilet and i've been like not ideal is like just after like a big burly dude's gone in there and he's obviously had you know the rich dinner and a few wines and you know maybe missed a little bit or it's a bit stanky in

there but um women are disgusting men everyone's disgusting so it's never a problem of like oh but it's always be like oh wasn't expecting you to come out remember we did that event in cremoin in richmond and they had unisex bathrooms in there and here was my issue because um i'd had a rich lunch yeah and ahmm. And I went in there and, you know, hey, we all know what the room's called. We know what's going on. And so I walk out, like open the stall door and I'm, you know, you're a bit sheepish. Yeah.

You're like, I just want to wash my hands. I can't get in. Get out of here. Yeah, duck out. And so I walk out and it's like I'm in the middle of a photo shoot because there's these hot girls taking selfies because there's a really nice big mirror. Yeah, there was a big mirror yeah and the thing is i had to walk between the hot girls to get to the

sink to wash my hands yeah and so you're like i feel like i'm not in the right like spot yeah and like i mean and your poopy air was in the air and but also even when you're like oh excuse me like these are like i feel like the distance between me going to the bathroom and where the hand washing needs to be as small as possible. I can't go through a photo shoot. Do you know what? I've got the solution. It shouldn't be split into male and female.

It should be split into hot and not hot. Or maybe it should be split into poos and wheeze. Here to actually use the bathroom, here to take selfies or do drugs. One or the other. Yeah, and you should get to pick. And if you need to do a wee and then you want to do some drugs, you just dip out and dip back in.

Yeah, exactly right. Now, here's a campaign I can get behind. I liked the Tony Lodge joining the choir campaign. Okay. But I love. The Poos and Wees Hot and Not. Hot and Not. Yeah.

Well, you're welcome. Thank you. I'm just here for the people. I tell you what would be one of the great compliments. Why? Like you're feeling a bit unwell and you're like, Thank you. I'm just here for the people. I tell you what would be one of the great compliments. What? Like you're feeling a bit unwell and you're like, oh, better go to the not hot one. And then you walk in and they go, oh, you're not in the right place.

And you go, oh, you. Seriously, get out of the way. Except that would never happen to me. I'd go into the hot one and they'd go, are you lost, babe? Excuse me, sweetie. The hot girls are in here and the not hot girls are down the corridor. It's either always first or second. Tony, I appreciate that comedy.

Yeah. But I won't hear for a second that you wouldn't be a hot girl in the bathroom. I appreciate that. Thank you. I and many tarpers would do despicable things to your person. I actually really appreciate that. Thank you.

Yeah, and we don't talk down about our queen like that here. Not on a Friday. Not on a Friday. Don't know what the day of the week has to do with it. Catch me on a Wednesday though. Alright, let's do what you love to see. What have you got? I've read this comment on our You Love to See It

thread in our Facebook group, Tony and Ryan Podcast. Dean Baker wrote this. Dean-o! Reuniting with my only brother who I haven't seen since 2016 and my niece I've never met in real life during a trip to the opposite side of the US, Washington to Georgia.

Whoa. So Dean met up with his, like, reunited with his family. How far is it from Washington to Georgia? A way. Quite a way. Which Washington? Just says Washington to Georgia? Yep.

But it says from opposite sides. Yeah. So that's the Washington on the left. We went through a phase where... What side's Georgia on? That's on the right. The right opposite sides. Yeah. So that's the Washington on the left. We went through a phase where... What side's Georgia on? That's on the right. The right-ish. Yeah.

We went through a phase where... We took people from Washington. Washington State and Washington DC was not apparently different. I didn't know that. Yeah. Okay. But Dean, I absolutely love to see that. I fucking love to see that.

That's beautiful. I love to see that. My love to see it is from Brooke, who went on a family trip to Florida and went to Disneyland for a day. Now, it was Disney World in Florida, whatever the Florida one is. Now, I always get nervous when she talks about a family trip to Florida Disneyland because, as you know, many tarpers have worked there and, oh, my God. There's an underbelly of crime at the Disneyland.

Of crime, an underbelly of a sex ring. A sex ring. Of workers hooking up with each other. And who were the characters who were banging each other? I can't remember. There was Baston. Was Tappan Peter Pan. Gaston.

Baston. Bastion. Sebastian the crab is a thing. But Gaston, I think, was who it was. It was Gaston. And he was... Getting gassed off. Yep.

Sorry. So when she goes, oh, it's a beautiful family trip, I go, oh. I hope you didn't go through the tunnels underneath the Disneyland. Tunnel Brothers. Actually, we need to take a breath because this next sentence is wholesome as fuck. And I feel like for Brooke and her family, it needs to not be included in Gaston fucking railing Peter Pan. Yep. I actually can't read this next bit.

It's too wholesome and beautiful. I'm so sorry, Brooke. As soon as I read this next bit, you're not going to know whether to cry, laugh, or just cancel this entire episode. Okay. I'm actually an arsehole if I laugh during this next sentence. So I'm going to fucking get my shit together.

All right. I've actually lost it. Think about dead puppies or whatever that thing is. Let me send this to you. Yeah, you're like... I'm going to send it to you because I can't read it. I'm going to... All right. Okay, forget everything you just heard about sexy times happening in Disneyland.

Okay, hang on. Tony will read this. You'll have to see it from Brooke. All right. Thank you, Brooke, for sending this in. Our oldest son is autistic and nonverbal, so we weren't sure what his experience would look like. Fast forward and he was obsessed with all the rides we could take him on.

I've never seen him smile so big and laugh so hard. Oh, that's so beautiful. I understand why you didn't want to link that to Gaston getting gassed off. Brooke, thank you so much for sharing that with us. What a special family memory. I went to Disneyland with my mum. Well, Euro Disney, I think is what it's called. The one in Paris.

And I have the best memories of us being there together. So not only will Brooke hold on to that forever, but her kids and her whole family will think about that literally until they're dead. Her son will never forget that day. No, never, ever. You do love to see it. That's so special.

You do love to see it. Thank you so much for sharing as well. Too lovely, wholesome, you love to see it. To finish off the week. Yeah. Broken up by, obviously, some horrible shit. But like a sandwich of just wholesome, lovely family-ness. Anyway.

Wrap this up and go to the weekend because I am fucking living on the edge over here. All right. Do we get another long weekend this weekend or not? No, we're back Monday. We're back Monday. On Monday, though, I have surveyed some non-Australians. Survey says? And I'm like, hey, non-Australians,

what is it that you actually love that Australians do? Because you know how we've got like some quirks? And a lot of them are like, oh, I don't quite get that. But some non-Australians have gone, I don't get why you do this, but I fucking love that you do. So that's coming up on Monday. Australia chat. Australia chat.

Welcome to the big country. Love you, bye. Bye.