Toni and Ryan - Low Key Flex

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

What's your ACTUAL lowkey flex? Love ya xox [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. I'm Ryan. This is Dr. Or the Tony Lodge. Guys, we've got another Chelsea. This time, it's a San Francisco Chelsea. San Francisco Chelsea. Hello? Chelsea! Oh my God, Tony and Ryan, hi! Hi, Chelsea. How's San Francisco at the moment?

Oh, it is hot. There's a heat wave going. Oh, that's insane. It's really cold in Melbourne at the moment. Yes, it's the thing with hemispheres is that it's the opposite. But it's still interesting, isn't it? Chelsea, does that mean you are, in fact, literally a hot California girl at the moment?

Oh, yes. Yes, I am. How does it feel? Yeah, tell us all about it. Oh, it's great. You know, it's awesome. Hot California girls have no problems in life. Yeah, yeah.

Everything's going their way. Yeah, it really is. Well, I'm really happy to hear that for you, Chelsea. Would you mind improving today's episode? Yes, yes, I'm really happy to hear that for you, Chelsea. Would you mind approving today's episode? Yes. Yes, I will. Legend. Hi, Chelsea from San Francisco, California.

Can I approve this podcast? All right. Before we push on with today's episode, there are a lot of beeps in yesterday's episode. Yep. And all we'll say is that as the news rolls out, we will be proved correct. Yeah, I think that we'll uncover in due course what we talked about. And believe it or not, you'll be watching this on the news.

We've done a bit of IG sleuthing. We believe we've cracked a case. Fuck me. I reckon you'll be watching this on the news. We've done a bit of IG sleuthing. We believe we've cracked a case. Fuck me. I reckon you'll be watching the news in a few weeks and you'll go, oh, I've heard about this. And someone will go, oh, where did you hear about that breaking crime story? And you'll go, Tony and Ryan? Sort of didn't even know they were doing it, but they'd fucking.

Fashion, crime, we've got it all. Blown it wide open. Yeah. Follow up Thursday. Now it's crime, fight and Friday. Yeah. Follow up Thursday. Now it's crime fighting Friday. Yeah. Welcome. I don't have another one.

Fashion Friday. Fashion forward Friday. You can watch today's episode on the Spotify app, by the way. Tony looks great. I'm not looking great. No, you look a lot better than you sound. Thank you. Yeah.

Thanks. That's really nice of you. Get ready to defend yourself. Oh, fuck me. Yeah. Thanks. That's really nice of you. I will get ready to defend yourself though. Oh, fuck me. Okay. Is there anything more cringy during a cost of living crisis of all times than a rich person flaunting their wealth? Read the room, everyone.

It's not the time. Sit down. Be humble. Fuck off. Cozy lips. room everyone it's not the time sit down be humble fuck off cozy lips tony lodge has been called out for flaunting her wealth during a tony and ryan patreon live stream after tarpa rebecca sully noticed she had a soda stream on the bar cart rebecca sully said soda stream on the bar cart? What a flex. In the background of the live stream.

Tony, is there anything you'd like to say for yourself? In hard times. And here you are just pushing it down our throats. I'd like to apologize for all the people I hurt for having a SodaStream in my home. Thank you. It's not even one of the ones that plugs in. Do you know what I mean? They don't plug in.

They're operated by gas. No, no, no. But there's fancy ones that you can get that plug into power and you just press a button and it slides itself down. What do you do? You just stand there. So you don't have to pump it oh like mine is like a hand action pumping one like it's not like a oh so that makes it okay does it no but i'm just like if i had a soda water tap in my house fucking go for your life yep i feel do feel. Do you know what I mean? Like I think that's fair game. I don't think that having a soda stream, not that it isn't lovely.

I'd hate to defame or to smirch the good soda stream name. No, because it is lovely and that's why I own one. It's actually, oh, God, not that I should bring this up, but it's actually our second one because our first one got a bit broken when we moved house. Oh, so you've replaced it. I thought you meant like we've got one in the bar cart and one in the kitchen. No, no, no.

One got like the bottom part snapped off while we were moving and we were like, oh, and it was white and it was quite old. This one goes a bit better with the thing. So we were like, yeah, that works well. Not too good for water? I don't even like soda water unless I'm like having a gin or something. Yeah, because you think it tastes like the TV. Yes, I think it tastes like TV.

I thought you were going to say I think it tastes like cum, which is not true. That's coconut water. Coconut water tastes like cummies. Okay. I don't hate coconut water. Well, a lot of of boys very happy about that that information what you will yeah so you're what are you saying are you saying that rebecca

sully a paying tarpa uh is wrong um no no no well because and i'm maybe sending myself up setting myself up here but like later in the live stream, it got really cold where we were sitting and I said, do you want me to turn the fire on, pop the fire on? Because like a gas one. Yeah. And then I said, producer Sophie, could you please pass me the remote for the fire?

A remote for the fire? A remote for the fire? It is nice. Fuck. Hey, Tony, I'm going to ask you a genuine question and I want you to answer honestly. What year do you think it is? Because it sounds like you're living in the year 3000 that is so hilarious i thought you were going to go the other way like maybe this feels like a bit 80s to have like a oh no i don't mind like a

bit james bond or something it's actually awesome like it's really good and torps has hooked it up to our google home so like i could right now turn the fire on now people shit back at home oh she'd fucking love it she loves the fire do you leave her at home with the fire i don. Turn the fire on now. People shit back at home. Oh, she'd fucking love it. She loves the fire. Do you leave her at home with the fire not on? I don't put the fire on for her because I'm a bit scared because it gets really hot. Yeah, and she gets really hot. I believe you described her as a little rotisserie chicken.

Yeah, I have to like peel her off the ground because her skin melts to the floorboards in front of her. She loves it. But no, so I leave the like heater on during the day at the moment because it's so cold. How do you turn your ceiling fan on? Also a remote or my Google Home. Is it true, and this was picked up also in the live stream,

that you have a table that's specifically for remotes, a remote table. I have a table that has remotes on it. A remote table. I don't think I've got enough things in my world house car that would require a table for the remotes. In fact, I don't think I own a remote. I have a TV remote. Oh, one, yeah.

Yeah. Well, so we've got the remote for the fire, the fan, the air con, the TV, and then like the sound system for the TV, like the sound bar has a remote. Let us know in today's episode thread, are you richer than Tony Lodge? No. Because I don't think anyone will reply. It's just that Torbs is a tech guy.

You know what I mean? So then everything's attached. But isn't that just a privilege? Everything's attached to a remote. It's not because I'm rich. It's just because I've got a hobby that's like Bentleys and Rolls Royces and remotes and stuff. That's just my hobby.

So it's not really rich. I think that having a remote means that you've got a Bentley. In my situation, it certainly doesn't. But I think that I would just like to bring up that I don't think that a SodaStream, like of all the things, I think that SodaStream is like a fairly commonplace household item. We stumbled across the term. Do you know what I mean?

Low-key flex. And I would like not to, don't tell me if you you're rich i don't want to fucking hear about it but do let me know in the episode thread what is your low-key flex and it's i'd say it's sort of in the category of shit coincidence because it doesn't like let me just read a few and you can paint this picture amazing uh holly hi holly uh my fridge can make two different sizes of ice cubes. My fridge doesn't make ice. I've got to put it in that little, you know, when you do this, taking it to the freezer, fill it up with water,

and you fucking do the Jack Bauer 24 dismantling a bomb, trying to get it to the fridge. I've got to do that. You know you're the man of your dreams. Charles Gambino. Charles Barker. Dave Parsons. Oh, yeah.

Or maybe it's my dreams. Our dreams get confused. That's Bridget's, I think. Mind my state. The man of my wife's dreams, David Parsons, he got a new fridge purely because it makes round ice cubes. Oh, is anyone hearing this? That sounds much richer than having a soda stream.

He's trying to feed his family. Apparently not. He's spending it on fancy fridges. My fridge doesn't even make ice. It's not plumbed or anything. You pov bitch. Yeah. I spend all my money on my soda streams.

Jadie says, I get free KFC because my partner is the general manager of a store. And she lets her friends know about it. I should get some chips into my home, go. On all guy? Yeah, my husband. Having a guy

for stuff, I reckon that's a subtle flex. You know the other day I was at a house party, right? Don't ask any questions. And one of the guys is like, oh, I was living in this two-story townhouse yeah and i realized that the fridge i'd bought didn't fit it fit in the cavity but didn't fit up the stairs and he goes fuck what am i gonna like i spent all this money on this fridge probably made ice cubes and all all sorts of things and he goes oh that's all right. I'll ring my mate Colin who has a crane. So he's got this like truck and the like bed of the truck

out the back is a crane. That's sick. And he hoists the fucking fridge up into the. Through the balcony. Yeah, onto the balcony and then they like shimmy it into the kitchen. A crane guy. I'd love a crane guy. And you know what? I'll give you Colin it into the kitchen. A crane guy. I'd love a crane guy.

And you know what? I'll give you Colin's number. Please call the crane guy. Call Colin. Call Colin for a crane. Call Colin for a crane. 1-800-CRAIN. 1-800-COLIN.

Does that mean then that we can use Colin and his crane to get your ride on mower into your backyard? We could call Colin to get the ride-on into the back. And I think we also need to just spend a minute and appreciate throwing stuff off the balcony, like using the balcony as a way to get stuff in and out of the house. Do you know Tom Bell when he was in Bunbury? No.

I think I replaced him. Of course you wouldn't. So I replaced him and so he's moving out of the house. Yeah. Do you know Tom Bell when he was in Bunbury? No. I think I replaced him. Of course you wouldn't. So I replaced him and so he's moving out of town and he goes, oh, I'm like, hey, mate, if I give you 500 bucks, could I take your bed frame and that bedside? Because he was moving out of town. Yeah. It's a bit of a rite of passage that whoever you're replacing,

you just get all their shit. None of their stuff. Because he's like, well, I don't know what to do with it. I'm moving back to Melbourne. I moved there with nothing. And then he goes, yeah, you can have all the stuff, but here's the thing, like, fucking who knows how to get it out of this house? Because when he moved in, he said to the guy before him.

Can I have this shit? Yeah, and he goes, it's like a spiral staircase, and it's a queen-size frame. You need Cullen. So me and Redders threw it off the balcony. And there's video of it because it wasn't quite big enough for the people standing on the bottom to hold it while the guys on the top still had a hold of it.

So there was a bit where I was like, I'm going to drop it in three and then you guys carry it. So we just threw this thing off the balcony. Landed on the grass. It was fine. Imagine having that much money that you throw in your bed out the window. Oh, subtle flex.

No, I was saving money by getting a secondhand one. Yeah, throw it out the window. Who cares? If I had money, I would have the window. Oh, subtle flex. I was saving money by getting a secondhand one. Yeah, throw it out the window. Who cares? If I had money, I would have called Colin. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But please let us know your subtle flex, your low-key flex in today's episode thread.

Hey, it's Chelsea from San Francisco, California, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Amanda the Star, self-proclaimed Amanda, love that for you. Aurelia K. Tiny. Hi, Tiny. Hi, Tiny. And Amandalia K. Tiny. Hi, Tiny. Hi, Tiny. And Amanda Dawson.

Thanks so much, mans. And if you're part of the Patreon, all levels, all tiers, the names of all of those people are rolling across the bottom if you're watching the video show at the moment. And you can be part of Patreon whenever you like. All the links are in our show notes. Now, because of all the beeps yesterday, there has been a lot of legal chat. Legal chat.

And I would just like to say before this next story progresses that no items have been submitted to evidence, so nothing can be presented. Thank you. Because you know how before a court case you need to say, here's the evidence, and then the defence. I don't think that's how it works. Don't they to say here's the evidence and then the defense i don't think that's how it works don't they forcibly remove any evidence that they need no in suits there's this episode where he comes in with like it must be right yeah so he comes

he comes in with a document and the judge goes you have to you haven't given a courtesy brief and you haven't submitted it earlier so it can't be used in court because it was not pre-submitted so nothing has been pre-submitted for this next story so there can't be used in court because it was not pre-submitted so nothing has been pre-submitted for this next story so there can be no evidence you don't know what it is because i'm doing it but i'm just wanting to say that no i've got all the evidence i might need for this well but it hasn't been declared to the court so it absolutely has it has directly to me judge tony um well please continue we all know what a late night text means. You know when your phone flashes up, it's late at night and you go,

fuck, what have we got here? What's going on here, guys? And you know what's even better than a late night text? A late night picture. What the kids back in my day used to call an MMS, multimedia. Do you remember that? I do. Sorry to interrupt.

I just have some advice for everyone, and it's take nudes, speaking of MMSs and photos, because here's the thing. You really fucked my story twice now. First with the evidence and now this. Where are you going with this? I know I do wish I took way more nudes when I was younger because you get older and you don't look as good. Disagree.

I look the best I've ever looked right now. It was a trick and you got it right. And so do you. Thank you. Your pubes look awesome at the moment. Don't know. Just thought I'd put that out there. Anyway, well, I've got a late night photo

and we all know what that means. 9.46 p.m. I get this picture message from the perfect time and uh it's actually from your wife my wife bridget my life it's actually from your wife bridget interesting and i think oh my god well i'm getting a nude from ryan's wife and it's nice isn't it and uh she was in the bedroom and I went. Fuck yeah. Fucking 10 p.m. I'm getting a picture from Bridget from the bedroom.

My favorite message to receive. You've never gotten that, let's be real. From Bridget? Yeah. Not recently. Back in the day. She's sending them to me. Back in the day.

But I get this message and it's a picture of Bridget. She's in the bedroom. But it turns out not as exciting as I thought, but still pretty good. It's a picture of her bedside table. That's just been submitted into evidence. A picture of her bedside table and plugged in like into the power sockets next to it. There's like a lamp plugged in and next to it is a phone charger,

which I think that's crazy. Yeah. How would you be able to identify whose phone charger that is? I like to rewind everyone back to a time just before we did our live stream last year when we were on air for, what, 50 hours or something? 51. 51. And I labeled every single one of my phone charges,

laptop charges, everything so that Ryan wouldn't take them because you are a notorious charger stealer. How fucking dare you say that? There was a lot of defamation chat yesterday, but that is the most defamatory bullshit I've ever heard and I'll see you in court. I'll see you in court. You are a notorious phone charger stealer.

Stealer? What did I say? I think stealing is different to borrowing indefinitely. Hmm. Well, it seems like you borrowed it from me and then given it to your wife, Bridget, because this phone charger and the little wall part that goes into the wall has a big fat Tony label on it. So you've. Someone's planted evidence. You've liberated that from me and then given it to your wife.

When was that even from? From the live stream. It must have been. So I've stolen it for nine months. Well, I don't know. It was a year ago. Unless you've like used a charger at my house and then i grabbed it yeah like i'm not disputing this the thing but i am i just can't imagine was

it from america in our bags or something i don't know but um so i get this picture from bridget and her text is as damning as you can imagine it says i mean we both know how this happened but how i've only just noticed it's beside my bedside i'll never know we'll return with the stealing culprit next time he sees you so she's throwing me under the bus so where's my charger because bridget said that it was coming to work with you next time I saw you so first of all I'd love to the fact that the charger in my hot little hand it was her on her side of the table and she my wife so now you're blaming my life well whoever stole the thing whoever's holding the stolen item is usually suspect number one that's not is it? I don't know. So are you the mule in this situation?

You took the stolen goods and passed them on? Yeah, proceeds from crime. As you were, I did deliver it very sheepishly the other day. I don't like how it happened. I'm not proud of what's happened. As I said before, I can't remember how and why and like how the fuck did it be? Has it been there for a year? I have no idea.

And she's only just noticed. Yeah, I think you're right. I think Bridget might be party to this crime. How many times has Bridget been to your house? Our new house? Yeah. The day that we bought it? Yep.

And like once since then, I think. So hang on, since you've owned it. Yeah. How many times? Twice. Since you've owned it. Well, the day that we bought it. Well, since you've moved in.

Yeah, once. And how many charges have been stolen? Only one. Oh, this. See, how many times have I been to your house since you've moved in like 9 000 yeah and i haven't got 9 000 charges but i don't think it's a one-for-one business sophie and james have been to my house multiple times i've stolen no charges yeah because they're not charger stealers so they average zero actually sophie loves to steal a charger does she

not steal she used yours yesterday and you didn't like that? Yeah, you fucking did too. With supervision. Maybe Sophie planted it. Sophie hasn't been to your house. That's what she wants you to think because of the charger thing. But I just thought, you know, I would like for it to be on the record that the charger has actually been returned.

But. I've got to. Yeah. Okay. I accept the accusation. I'm not saying I did. I'm just accepting the situation for what it is. But I would like to tell you that an issue that's happening

in my life right now. Oh, worse than this? Yeah, actually. Being accused of this bullshit is fucking bullshit, but this is worse. As we know, I am full charged phone impaired. Sure. It's not my area of strength. My phone is very rarely charged.

So randomly a few days ago, Bridget said, i've had to return the charger on my side of the bed so now can i have the charger on your side of the bed so my charger has replaced your charger that you stole from me that was being planted and now i don't have a charger on my side of the bed and it's fucking so annoying yeah because i've so that's why you stole you're literally giving yourself a motive of why you would steal it i'm just saying my phone has been flat as fuck all week because i don't have a charger beside my bed to not plug it into but i just don't understand how like you don't have another charger well because you know how phones have charged from the USB to the USB-C?

Yeah. Do you know what's annoying? So the bit that goes into the wall needs a USB, but the cables- And they don't give you those anymore? But the cables you get sent is the USB-C and they're like incompatible. So I've got 57 of the fucking other ones, but nothing will plug into the wall thing. But they don't give you the wall thing anymore.

I don't know why they don't do that. It's so ridiculous. So what am I supposed to do? Well, the USB-C one plug into your laptop. What, so now I need to take my laptop as a conduit between the power and my phone. Great use of the term conduit. Can someone check if that means what I think it means?

It does. It does. Or you could just buy like the wall adapter that has USB-C in it. Sorry. Your laptop charger actually is USB-C in it. Sorry. Your laptop charger actually is USB-C. I'm actually not made of money. I can't be willy-nillying buying all this fancy technology. I'm saying you have it.

Oh. Your laptop charger is USB-C, so you'd be able to charge that into your. My other laptop charger is a phone charger. Yeah, it's all very confusing, isn't it? It is. Are you just trying to trick me into thinking that you didn't do it? Is it working? It's just making me think that you really did it because you go,

fuck, it's so hard these days. I'll just take that one. I just made my life a bit easier. I'm actually curious about how I got to my house. I'm not. I think you took it with malicious intent. Would make sense. It would make sense.

Is there penalties? No, I don't think there's a penalty. I think the penalty of your phone being flat is enough. And what a penalty it is. You know, like it's now affecting you and that's your problem. Yep. Nice of you, though, to give Bridget your charger. I'd do anything for that woman.

She's beautiful and I love her. Maybe. This is slightly fucking annoying, though. No, what I was going to say is maybe she did it. Like you said before. And now she's stealing your charger. She's a charger stealer. She is a charger stealer.

Yeah. It's still coming out. It'll cut. We'll get'll cut we'll get you we'll get you um i gotta love to see it here please and do you ever see someone do something and you just go fuck that is such a great idea like i'm almost annoyed i didn't think of it because i just love it so much i would like and this is my recommendation for the weekend yep there's an instagram account and website and podcast and fucking all the works and it's called John Breaks Bad News. Have you seen this guy?

No. So basically you go to johnbreaksbadnews.com and you submit bad news. So say you need to tell someone something. Yeah. And it's like. Like, Tony, I've stolen your charger. Yeah. Maybe I'll hire him.

So basically if there's news you don't want to share, you just go to his website, submit the number, submit the message, and then he calls them up and they're like, hello, and he just tells you the bad news. So I've sent you one of the recent ones. Yeah. And he's filming himself in his spare room. He's got this big top hat, and it's just fucking hilarious.

John Breaks Bad News. Hello? Hi, Kyle. This is John from John Breaks Bad News. I have some bad news from jayden for you oh yeah good okay so he's been trying to get with your sister cassandra for the last year and uh last week it finally happened uh he knows that you aren't going to be happy about it but um maybe have a twee and think over it okay why don Why don't you want your friend to be with your sister?

He's a scumbag who cheats on people. Oh. Well, there is that, I guess. Maybe he'll grow up. Yeah, maybe. Probably not, though. John Breaks Bad News. Fuck.

That's heavy. As in, like, imagine that's your job. You just tell people bad news. Fuck. That's heavy. As in like, imagine that's your job. You just tell people bad news. But it's just sort of hilarious. Oh, it's funny. It's a great idea. That's what I mean. But don't you reckon it would start to wow on you and you'd go, oh, yeah, like.

Can you look at John in that picture? What's he wearing on his head? A top hat. Does that look like the kind of guy that feels weighed down by life? No, actually. Because he's living his fucking best life. It's a great point. Yep.

Very happy. And that's my love to see it. John Breaks Bad News. It's like a good dumb shit scroll. Yeah, I love that. Would you be annoyed if I hired him to call you? Oh, nah, I wouldn't. But I would be upset if it was like legitimate bad news.

I'm sleeping with your sister. Lucky her. But what I find funny about this clip is that the other guy doesn't go, wait, what is this? He just cops it. He's like, oh, fuck. Like, oh, hey, it's John. I got some bad news.

He goes, fuck. Lay it on me, John. Yeah, maybe he'd heard about him and he goes, fuck, yeah. Like, oh, hey, it's John. I got some bad news. And he goes, fuck. Lay it on me, John. Yeah, maybe he'd heard about him and he goes, not me next. Like, he's like, I don't want this to happen to me. I've really loved to see it as well. Please. And maybe it goes hand in hand with yours for over the weekend. My love to see it is my motherfucking dressing gown.

Thank you so much. Can I say there has been a bit of a trend of late because i believe early it was earlier this week that your it was my slippers last week uh no it wasn't your slippers it was your motherfucking slippers yeah and now it's your motherfucking robe what's next a shower cap who knows but i've never been a dressing gown girl like i feel like there are like there are people that are dressing gown people and I've just never been one. Why not? I see you as a dressing gown girl.

I just, I don't know. I think people would be surprised to learn that you're not a dressing gown girl. I do as well. Yeah, yeah. But I just never have been. And then you were at my house for the live stream last week and you wore a robe to be like, oh, we're doing self-care, whatever. And I haven't taken it off since then until, like, you know,

I had to come in and look like a grown-up. Yeah. But do you think the fact that you've been a bit under the weather has contributed to it? By the timing was right? Yeah, the timing was perfect because then I got a little bit sick this week and I was like, oh, I'll just pop my dressing gown on. And it is a life changer.

It really is. It's really great. We got the new robes when we moved into the new house because we're like, we want it to feel like we're on holidays. Yeah, nice. And it just like, doesn't it just make you feel like you're on holidays or you're relaxing? It's just like.

Yeah. But it's also like just so good to like pop on over my nightie because it's really warm and snuggly. I bought it actually during COVID thinking I would become a dressing gown girl and it's taken this time. Have you slept in it? No. Yeah.

That's fucking next level shit. No, I think I'd get too hot. Well, it's like when the time is right and it's a really cold night, you're in your dressing gown and you're like, oh, I'll just put the blanket over and just like. Yeah. Oh, no. I think I'd get too hot.

What about laying on the couch in a robe? Yeah. No, that's what I've been doing like on the couch. Like when we watched Tomcats and I didn't fall asleep. No, I don't recall you not falling asleep. All right. Wish us well, everyone, for health and luck and legal battles. And our longevity.

Yeah. I'm going to charge my phone so much on the weekend. I've got an extra charger now. I'm proud of you. Thanks for coming in the last few days. Thank you. And you too, because you were shitting yourself. Sorry, vomiting.

I was vomiting. So that's defamation. Yeah, that is defamation. Yeah, sorry. You're on it. Fucking love ya. Fucking love ya. You're on it. Fucking love ya. Fucking love ya. Be back on Monday.

Maybe. Who knows, actually. Who's to say? Love you. Bye. Bye.