Toni and Ryan - Most Dangerous Ways to Have Sex

Episode Date: March 14, 2024

MANY MANY UPDATES AND ANNOUNCEMENTS. Including NEW OFFICE, and COMING IN MY BOX!! Love ya!!!! Toni xoxox [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. And we are calling Hayley Hershey. Oh, what a great name. Probably got a few bulb, I reckon. Well, is she your competitor to the Toblerone?

The chocolate, the chocolate heiresses. Yeah. Made again. In Maryland. Wazzup! Wazzup! Hayley, how you going? Happy New Year! In Maryland. What's up? What's up? Hayley, how you going? Happy New Year.

Hey, happy New Year. Oh, that's very funny. Hayley, Tony, her partner is an heir to the Toblerone fortune. I see that you're an heir to the Hershey fortune. Are we actually at war? Yeah, are we legally allowed to have this conversation? You know, he is my natural-born enemy. So we're at war.

Yeah, bring it on. Okay. Okay. All right, well, we're talking to the enemy at the moment. But, Hayley, will you approve today's episode? Regardless. Either way. In spite of that.

Nothing would make me happier. Of course I do. Yes. Legend. Thank you so much. A big kiss from us. Hershey's kiss. Yeah, that we got.

Nice. Yeah. Never heard that one before. Ah, yeah. Hey, it's Hayley from Maryland and I approve this podcast. Guys, it's a big moment. It is a big moment. Today is a video show as well as an audio show on Spotify and we're in a new studio.

And I wouldn't dare, but it feels appropriate. Happy New Year. I'll allow it. You know, I think that Beth just can give us today. We will have more on the studio, which is half built. And two days ago, this was an empty, shallow warehouse. So bear with us. We'll have more on that later in the episode.

But first, the data is in on the most trusted brands in Australia. Oh, we go by data in the new office. We're a data-driven company. Data-driven business. It's 2024. We have a business. Yeah. Big data, deep data, no dirty data.

You know how just then you said it was 2024? The other day I wrote down that it was 2021. Like I was writing the – like I couldn't have been more wrong. Like I might as well have that it was 2021 like i was writing the like i couldn't have been more wrong like i might as well have said it was 1956 yeah like i just have no idea where that came from i thought it was 2025 on the way to work this morning because i don't know if it was like a new studio new year you're like oh yep now that we're in 2025 yeah and then i saw something but i was like oh we've just changed year in the last few months. Did we change 24 to 25? And you're doing the mental math. Yeah, I'm just fucking out of it.

Carry the three. No, I reckon it's 20, 25. Even if you're not from Australia, I think if you've heard Tony, Felicia, Louise, Dr. Arthur Lodge bang on about some of these brands, I feel like anyone that's listened to enough Tony and Ryan episodes will get a vibe for some of these brands. Okay, a vibe. some of these brands. Okay.

A vibe. Yeah. And that's a data term. Yeah. So we took the data. We've taken the data and we've decided a vibe. What about if 90% or more accuracy is like, what's a good term for that?

Like something that's strong. Pretty good. Hell good. Hell good. Hell good. 70 to 90 is like strong's a good term for that, like something that's strong? Pretty good. Hell good. Hell good? Hell good. 70 to 90 is like strong. A bit average. And 50 to 70 is like a vibe.

50 to 70 is a bit average, I think. But it's like a lean of a vibe. Okay, we'll work on the data terms. Okay. We've got heaps of time. Question one. Between the two big supermarkets, Woolworths or Tony's former employer, Coles, and you are, have you been, you're like old school Coles? I am a Coles girl.

Yeah. And in Australia, they're the main two. However, I think based on vibe, I reckon more people would go Woolies. As the most trusted brand. I think so. Though, hang on, how recent's this data? It's just come out. Okay, because Woolworths have had a fucking bit of a shocker

the last few weeks. Nah, I reckon Woolies would do a more trustworthy vibe. Woolworths is correct. Yeah. They're more trusted. Fuck. They were the most trusted company in all of Australia, but they've slipped down a little bit.

Because of the last few weeks. RIP Brad Balducci. Question two. I hate to make it political, you know, but. Like actually, like I don't know if you've seen that video. I don't know if this study would have been done before that. That's what I mean. Like how recent was this study?

Oh, that was last week. Surely it takes months. That wasn't last week. It was like three weeks ago. Time fly. It's 2025. Yeah, exactly. You're right.

Who knows? Question two. Aldi, is Aldi around the world? Yeah, I believe so, yeah. All right, so Aldi is also in the top ten most trusted. I struggle to believe that. This is my first time hearing this data, by the way. I don't believe that. This is my first time hearing this data, by the way. I don't believe that.

Is Aldi higher than both Coles and Woolies? Is it lower than both Coles and Woolies? Or is it in between Coles and Woolies? All three of them are in the top ten. See, this is the thing we need to remind ourselves. This is still the top ten. Yeah. This isn't best and worst.

This is the top ten best. I reckon Aldi is below Coles and Woolies. There's no way that people are going Woolies, Aldi's, Coles. That's what they've done. Aldi is more trusted than Coles in Australia. I think Woolies is like second, Aldi was like fifth on the list and then sixth was Coles or something like that. Do you, how does that make you feel? Well, I trust Aldi because I, but see, trust is interesting

because trust for me is like consistency. So when I go in and I know there's going to be bogus shit and there always is, I can trust that there will be bogus shit in the middle there. Remember when I went at Christmas to get a bottle of wine and I came home with 15 children's books? Yeah. I do actually remember that, yeah.

That's trust, baby. But isn't that like surprise and delight? Yeah, and I can trust them to surprise and delight me. I think that you can like a brand or like like a place but doesn't necessarily make them trustworthy. Like I wouldn't put for trust. For me, maybe I'm old school. You are old school.

But Aldi, it's too new. Aldi's only been around for like 10 years. How long? You've known Aldi longer than you've known me. I'd trust an action before I'd trust an Aldi at this point. Action was there for me at my youngest. I don't know what action is. Action used to be.

I thought you meant like an action like a fly kick or like an action. No, I definitely didn't. I definitely didn't. Do you trust me? Yeah. How long have you known me? That's a good point. But I've been inside a Woolworths.

They haven't been inside me. It's a bit different, isn't it? Have I been? Obviously. Question three. This is controversial and anyone who's been listening to Tony and Ryan will have their thoughts. And apply this to the companies in your own country.

Who is more trusted between Qantas, the national carrier, and Australia Post, the national postal service? Qantas, obviously. Qantas, never miss a beat. Yeah, 100%. I like Qantas. I'm like an old school. Wear points, guys.

Points, guys. Yeah. Old school. Still call Australia home, makes me bawl every time. Australia Post make me cry in a different way. Yeah. Yeah. It's still tears, don't get us wrong.

Yeah. Do you trust that they've been to your house when they leave a thing saying, we knocked on the door and waited for five minutes? No, I fucking don't get us wrong. Do you trust that they've been to your house when they leave a thing saying we knocked on the door and waited for five minutes? No, I fucking don't. Qantas is in the least trusted 10 companies in Australia and Australia Post is in the top 10 most trusted companies in Australia. Australia Post is the 10th most trusted company in Australia. Oh, so they only surveyed Australia Post fucking employees, obviously,

because no consumers of Australia Post would think that. No way. No way. I don't know who. No way, right? That is insane. I think we can all agree globally that during the pandemic, post offices people took the fucking piss.

But also like. Oh, we came to your house. You weren't home. I haven't left for three weeks. Yeah, sweetheart. I legally can't leave. I'll be arrested if I leave. I'm only allowed to leave the house for 30 minutes a day for exercise

and I'm not even doing that. Nice to have the option. Yeah, nice to have the option, yeah. I think last week or this week was four years since the first lockdown. No. Yeah. Doesn't it feel like 100 years and also three months ago? And I think as Melburnians we're allowed to like be.

Sook it up. Yeah, because, yeah, Sookie Lala. This is the perfect time to use the term Sookie Lala. We really went through the ringer. Yeah. And I cannot believe that Australia Post is on the, I'm actually in disbelief. I'd go to Aldi before I'd go to Australia Post.

Question four, and this is a slightly different survey, but the data is in from Dr. Karan Raj, who remember had the fart science the other week? The farts, yeah. Karan Raj is great on Instagram, by is in from Dr. Karan Raj, who remember had the fart science the other week? The farts, yeah. Karan Raj is great on Instagram, by the way, Dr. Karan Raj. Shout out. The most dangerous, and this is data, the most dangerous way to have sex as measured by hospitalizations.

The data is in, as well as other things. Multiple choice. Is it sitting on a chair? Reverse cowgirl? Anything involving the butt? And if this podcast knows anything, it's that we've heard many complications and hospitalisations. Or the stand-up 69?

Oh, well, I'm going to roll that out straight away because I don't think that's real. In maladoption, obviously that's a trick one. Luckily, at home alone with your own hand is not on the list. I was going to say, yeah, we're fine. Safe, baby. A chair feels like a safe space, but reverse cowgirl I think I'm going

to go with because it seems like enough people would be doing it. Like I'm going, like I'm playing the odds here. It's data. We only use data on this show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also with that position, there's no eye contact. There's no, like it's quite hard to communicate with your part. Like you can't, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Less, more, you know, and I think that there would be a lot of room for error. And so. So I'm locking in B. Reverse cow. Reverse cowgirl. And again, despite all the stories we've heard on this show about butt stuff

and hospitalisations, you're going to ignore that? I think I'm still going to go with reverse because it's the. Okay, so just to confirm, chair is a safe place? I think so. Stand-up 69s don't happen? Don't exist, yep. It's not La La Land. Controversially left out?

Yeah. Reverse cowgirl. The most dangerous way to have sex as measured by hospitalizations. From Dr. Karan Raj. Is reverse cowgirls. Is this? Alright, there's your trusted brands and trusted positions. Hey, it's Hayley from Maryland and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

A massive shout out from our new studio to our favorite champion tapas. Not favorite, just some of them. Charlotte Sutherland, good on you, Charlotte. Jessica Pardue. Pardon you. Carissa Miller. Hardly know her. Some of us Pard don't.

Sorry. And the Care Bear. Oh, the Care Bear. Remember the Care Bears? Yes. They were a great show. Oh, I'm thinking of Cabbage Patch Dolls, but I also know what a Care Bear is.

No, you're thinking of My Little Pony. No, no, no, no. You're thinking of SpongeBob SquarePants. That was also on Cheese TV, so just. Cheese TV, though. What a time. Oh, no, you didn't watch TV as a kid. Sorry.

It's time for the State of the Nation address. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. We are in the new studio. Still lots to do. As you can probably tell. Maybe we should do a, do you want to whip your phone out, James, and just do like a little wide shot? Maybe we can pop it in.

Throw it on the video show. Just a little. Hello. Hey, hello. Still lots to do. Big empty warehouse a few days ago. Yep. We've spent a fair bit of time waiting for stuff to be delivered, eh?

Oh, fuck. I've got some follow-up questions for February 29, 2028 about how and where and why we'll wait for things. Yeah, okay. But if I had a dollar for every useless tracking link I'd been sent. So the thing that made this even, oh, Australia Post, fucking get it together. Do you know what I mean?

But just to set the scene is that because it was an empty warehouse, we actually couldn't work here for ages. So we were like trying to move stuff, waiting for furniture to come, but we couldn't work here during the day. So it was like something's coming at some point on Friday. Between 7am and 7pm. So we're here at 6.50. So we're here at 6.50. So you're here at 6.50.

Sometimes your keys work and you just kind of had to like sit on the ground and like wait for someone to come. Yeah. And what I've learned is you get a tracking link from the store you bought it from and sometimes you get a tracking link from the delivery company and they're not the same link. They're not the same. And they don't talk to each other.

And they're not the same number even. No. Like not the same tracking and they don't talk to each other. And they're not the same number even, like not the same tracking number. So, all right. We've called a lot of people on the phone. I'm obviously not English, not strength. Wow. And you know how if someone's on the way, you know, sometimes they give you that call to say like, oh, like.

Oh, we're about 20 minutes away or whatever. Not all of them do that, but the ones that do that, God's work. God's work. All right. Let me just get a vibe check off you. Okay. If I say five or ten minutes. Yeah.

That's like a thing people would say. Yeah. Yeah, five or ten minutes away. Yeah. Hey, ten or fifteen minutes away. Yeah. I think after 20 the allotment goes a bit wider, like 20 or 30 minutes away because 10 or 15

is like a very small way yeah because you go oh 10 15 minutes i can wait 10 15 but there's five minutes between those things yeah but when oh 20 to 30 there's 10 minutes between those things is that still fine i think that's a good heads up if you're like in the middle of doing something or on your way there and you go great i'm I'm 10 minutes away. By the time I get there, that's 20 minutes. Yep. So the guy calls the other day, one of these lights or a cable or something and he goes. One single cable?

You waited here all day? Just go to JB Harper. So the guy calls up and goes, yeah, I'm on my way. And I go, great, how long? And he goes, oh, 45 or 10 minutes. And again I'm like, 10 or 15? Fine. 20, 25?

Makes sense. That's like English language like colloquialisms. No, but it's also just like they're similar. Like you can't overshoot something by it. 10 or 15 is a single time. When you go 45 or 10, you go, well, which one is it? Also, I know that this isn't really what I should be picking up on, but 45 shouldn't be first.

No, they're around the wrong way. Yeah. They're around the wrong way. So I've gotten up at, as you know, it was an early delivery window. Yeah. Between fucking 5 a.m. and Christmas. Yeah. And he goes.

That's funny. Thank you. That's very funny. It's a new studio. I'm funny. Yes. Yeah. And he goes. That's funny. Thank you. That's very funny. It's in the studio. I'm funny. Yes. Yeah. And I also hit the fricking.

Don't know if anyone noticed. Oh yeah. Tony made these with a cricket. Thank you. These little logos. He goes, yeah, 45 or 10 minutes. 45 or 10. And because I hadn't slept much, I just go.

What? I go, like into this area, right? And he goes, yep. Yeah, I'm on my way. All good. Yeah, 45, 10. Sort of, yeah, cool. See you soon.

45, 10. What could he have meant otherwise? So I hadn't had a morning coffee and I don't want to be one of those, I haven't had my coffee. Was it four to five or 10? Like, oh, four or five minutes, maybe 10. Was that what it was? But here's my thing.

If he had said 45, I would have been like, sweet, I'm going to go get a coffee. Yeah. But if it's ten, I'll wait. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Both are fine. What the fuck is four?

Both are fine. Not together, they're not? Not together, they're not? But, yeah, they don't tell you a story when they're together. No. And I kind of questioned him and he was just like, yeah, I'm on my way. As I said, 45, ten. Well, do you remember that day that I questioned him and he was just like yeah i'm on my way as i said 45 10 well do you remember that day that i was here and i was waiting for one single package and the guy

came in he's like knocked on the door and stuff and i was like and i was like oh yeah he goes oh yeah just wanted to make sure you're here i've got three packages and i was oh great he goes you're gonna be here at like 3 or 4 p.m it's like 9 a.m and i was like that's right and i was like uh oh i'm just i'm literally just waiting for this package and then I'll probably go. And he goes, oh, I don't have them with me. And I was like, huh? And my sister was here with me.

We were building furniture. And he goes, oh, yeah, don't have them with me. Back at the depot. Just wanted to make sure you were here. And I was like, oh, feel free to not do a recce next time and just bring it on down. Yeah, feel free to not do a recce next time and just bring it on down. Yeah, feel free to not charge $99 for shipping because if this is how you're spending your fucking time.

Yeah, if it was $40 to do one, I would have just picked the one. But it turns out that with all the picking up and dropping off and signing for things and other bits and pieces that the 45 and 10 guy wasn't the biggest dickhead in all of this stuff because there's rumours going around in the delivery man industry that one Tony Felicia Lodge made a real fucking arsehat out of herself. Is this true or false? I mean, it's always true. And I have to narrow it down to one story.

No, one of the days, like, I'd been here fucking waiting for stuff. I actually can't even fucking look at you anymore. And I was one of the days, like I'd been here fucking waiting for stuff. I can't even look at you anymore. I was delirious. I think I'd been here, it was the same, like the first delivery window was 6.30 or something. Yep. And I was going to be here till 6 or 7pm because that was the widest part of the delivery window and four things had already come

and I've talked to that many delivery drivers. I'd called one on the phone to make sure they were fucking coming. And then they bring the stuff upstairs because I went, oh, it's just me here. Like, would you mind giving me a hand? They went, yeah, yeah, that's fine. They bring it up and they go, oh, we just have to take a photo and make sure it's, like, been delivered.

And I went, ah, like, posed. And they go, oh, no, like of the stuff. Have we delivered? It's actually a pretty big deal. I don't know if you've seen the screens. That's me. I actually don't really dig, but I thought that he meant like, I've got to get a photo.

Like my wife's a big fan or my daughter. That's so embarrassing. And I went, ah. Of the fucking huge box I just carried upstairs for you. I'm surprised you're still here. I literally almost passed away. Well, do you want me to gas you back up? Yeah.

Because I feel like that would have hurt the, like, stung the ego a little bit. Yeah, actually. I was at the Dally at Bolton Street in Eltham. Oh, Bolton Street Chicken? Next to Bolton Street Chicken. Next to the Cheesecake Shop? Yeah, in between.

Yeah, nice. So it goes Chicken Chicken. Next to the Cheesecake Shop? Yeah, in between. Yeah, nice. So it goes Chicken Shop, Dally, Cheesecake Shop. Now Bolton Street. What? Fuck, isn't that the trio of all trios? Oh, sorry. I want to have the best day ever. I'll just head down to fucking Bolton Street, grab a chicken,

grab some fucking mortadella and a fucking cheesecake after. They also got a bakery on that strip. It's just a little strip. Great fruit shop, pizza on the corner. Can I move in there? To Bolton Street, yes. What have we done? So Bolton Street's not on the main road.

It's a scandalous random other one. So anyway. That is a trio of just champions. So after you made a fuckhead of yourself with the photo thing, the girl that works at the deli, she's lovely, and she goes, excuse me. Get the fuck out of the way. She goes, I just got to ask, and I go, oh, yeah, and she goes,

are you the guy that does the podcast with Tony? What did she say? Are you the guy on Tony's podcast? And I just went, yeah. I guess the answer is yes. And she goes, yeah, I follow her on Instagram. I love her. Not you.

And I went, oh, she's great, isn't she? You're like, do you want me to FaceTime her for you or something? You're lucky this is one of the great dailies in Melbourne because I would not storm out and not come back. Oh, yeah, because you already had your little container of octopus and you're like, well, I've got to pay for this. But after that I'm storming out. Then I'm storming out and I'll be back tomorrow, obviously.

Oh, that's very sweet. I'll have to head down. I mean, I'll head down there personally. Actually, do it though. That sounds great. They'd love to see you down there. Should we go down there after this? Well, I won't with you.

Oh, yeah. Someone's going to carry my little container of octopus. Do you like a marinated octopus? Fucking do me in, eh? Fucking good. Top five foods for me. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, top five foods.

Hollandaise sauce, marinated octopus, chicken nuggets, hot cross buns, oysters. Obviously I put no prep and thought into that. Actually, no, I fucking stand by every single one of those. Interesting. You did not mention salt and pepper calamari. Hate to nitpick, I'm just saying. Marinated octopus, it's the same animal.

Well, an octopus and a squid isn't the same animal. It's not? I love that we're all fact-checking like with each other's eyes like, oh, are we sure? Yeah, no, no, no, they're not the same. I think if you've included octopus and oyster, just the vibe includes squid. Okay, so what I was about to say is like that's a lot of seafood

for your top five. Yeah. Which is fine, like no was about to say is like that's a lot of seafood for your top five. Yeah. Which is fine. Like no judgment. I'm just like that's a lot. Okay, top five for me off the top of my head. Top of my head, lasagna. Oh, of course.

Lobby roll. Seafood. That's my favourite food. Potato gems. Caesar salad with chicken schnitzel in it. Go to the chicken shop at Bolton Street. They'll do you a fucking one of those. And a bacon and cheese roll from Coles when they've just been made.

You know how they're hell doughy still? Yeah, because they have a quite good sum up. Fuck me in the ass. They're just a little bit doughy, yeah. See, trusted brand. Anyway. Trusted brand. Yeah.

Business update because we're in the new studio. Business update. Let's start with the graphics department. Graph and brand. Yeah. Business update because we're in the new studio. Business update. Let's start with the graphics department. Graphics department. I have been fired as the official Photoshopper. We had a good one. I'll still be doing some crook shit in the Facebook group and Patreon, but the logos and stuff behind us on the new website is Georgia

at Studio Wednesday and Siri, who's the tarp, have made the website. Yeah, thanks, Siri. They're doing the formal stuff now, so I've been demoted. Yeah, sorry, mate. You had a really good run. I will say that. I did have a good run.

Shout out to producer Cam, who was with us last year and helped us to kind of get to where we are. Shout out to Phoebe, who held down the fort while we were in America and she helped us over summer as well. She had a great couple of months with us, so thanks to her. Franco has always been a freelancer and he still is freelancing for us, so he's still like floating around. Despite, I wrote this last night,

despite us offering him hundreds and thousands of dollars worth of sexual favours to join us in Melbourne, he claims he'd rather stay with his wife in Wollongong and take the cash instead of the sexual favours. Yeah, so we offered James no money instead. Yeah. So James has started it with this year. I've written producer slash video editor slash YouTube lord

and studio setter-upperer, and you've heard him chiming in with facts and maps about where your poon is. Does that feel accurate? Sometimes the wrong facts too, so. Yeah. Yeah, you have been fucking, yeah. The thing about that job title though,

it doesn't fit in the LinkedIn box. It's hard to get in there. It's hard to get in there. It's hard to get in there. Yeah, James always has trouble putting things in boxes. But. Sorry. He's got a child. I'm his boss.

You're his boss and he's got a child. I'm actually also HR, I've been promoted to HR. Tony is in charge of HR, which is. Maybe the funniest thing ever. That's just fucked. And also, shout out to Sophie who's here as well. She's doing bits and pieces, running around behind the scenes, making it all happen.

So thank you, Sophie. And today is Sophie's first day. She's spilt coffee all over herself. She hit a mosquito and blood is all over her Taylor Swift shirt. Yeah. So we've had a really great first day. Yeah. Do you know what people would kill to get that shirt?

Bad blood. That's funny. Kendrick Lamar Taylor's version. Very good. So the state of the fucking. Yeah. That's where we're at. That's where, Kendrick Lamar Teller's version. Very good. So the state of the fucking, yeah. That's where we're at. That's where we're at. But I think this is the biggest announcement of all,

of all the little mini updates. Do you know what this is? What is it? We have an exclusive and I will say iconic offer for six tarpers and they can bring a plus one. Are you sure about the plus one? and I will say iconic offer for six tarpers and each, they can bring a plus one. Are you sure about the plus one? We're offering a six tarpers and a plus one,

the opportunity to come in Tony's box. And I don't think many podcasts will allow that, but that's where, where you don't really know why I've allowed it to be honest. Are you sure about the plus one? Okay. And it's just, I'll get to the details.

It's not six plus one. It's six people bringing a plus one. It's not seven. It's 12. It's 12, yeah. Just because I felt like six people have to come together and decide the one person they're going to bring with them. On the 1st of April, and this is not an April Fool's joke.

We don't do pranks. We don't do pranks. The 1st of April, Tony Lodge will be attending her first ever Australian League football game at the MCG to see our Hawthorne Hawks. The family club. The family club play against the Geelong Cats, which is our arch enemy. Our arch enemy.

And it's the Easter Monday tradition. Like every Easter Monday, it's the Hawks and the Cats. Yeah. So Tony has her own corporate box and we're opening the doors to tarpers. So you can come in Tony's corporate box. But for the joke, we're dropping corporate. We'll be there. All the drinks, like beers, wines, food, all the spread.

Marinated octopus, chicken nuggets, lasagna. Yeah, it'll all be there. We'll go to Bolton Street Chicken before we go down there. A corporate box full of tapas at the 100,000-seat stadium of the MCG on Easter Monday. MCG is an amazing stadium. I saw Dale Swift there. Yep.

Haven't watched the football there yet. This will be your first time. This will be my first time. All right, so if you're interested, if you can be in Melbourne, we can't fly you from around the world. No, no flights interested, if you can be in Melbourne, we can't fly from around the world. No flights. But if you can make it, like all good, but it's up to you to get there. Yeah.

If you're interested, there's a link in the show notes and we'll put it in the Facebook group and Patreon and Twitter. Register your interest. Here is the deal though. Probably won't be in the show notes, but the episode thread today. We can, but I don't think anyone reads them. But we'll be in the episode thread today. Sorry, life breaks down. But what if you're not in the Facebook group? Because you know some people don't have Facebook reads them. But we'll be in the episode thread today. Sorry, live brainstorm.

But what if you're not in the Facebook group? Because you know some people don't have Facebook. Yeah, I can pop it in. Yeah. All right. Can someone remind me? Yeah. Great.

From 7 a.m. on Monday, I know this is a lot of information. Oh, fuck me. So it's Friday today? Yeah. From 7 a.m. on Monday until 7pm Tuesday night. So what's that? It's the 36-hour window. Yeah.

We're going to be calling people who have registered from a private number and you have to answer enthusiastically by yelling, I want to come in Tony's box. So it might look like, I want to come in Tony's box! And we'll go, congratulations, you're coming with us! Bring a plus one. Hello. You're not coming.

If you don't answer with I want to come in Tony's box, you don't get to come in Tony's box. So the thing is is that I think like at first I was like, oh, we'd be leaning in A and we'd go, oh, if they answer, like it's fine. And Ryan said no. If you don't answer with the enthusiasm that we require, no deal. And we will then have to go, oh, we're so sorry. We'll try someone else.

Yeah. So if you want to come in Tony's box, register your details, answer the phone, say the line, and we'll be having beers with you. We'll be hanging out. We'll be watching the game. We'll be embracing the Hawks. I mean, you don't have to break the Hawthorn, but it'll be a great day out.

Yeah. Tony and myself and the Tarpers. And I, for the first time in probably five years, will be leaving the house on Easter weekend. I didn't actually. It's the end of the weekend. It's a three o'clock game on Monday. It doesn't matter.

You've still got Friday, Saturday, Sunday to settle in and not leave the house because Tony traditionally does not leave the house. It's my no pants weekend of the holiday of the year. Were you wearing pants to the football? Might wear a dress. Yeah. Just to keep with the theme. I'll just wear my nighties.

It feels right. So I feel like this has been an admin heavy show, but I feel like great. Admin heavy, but good areas. Good areas. Yeah. So watch this space in Tony's box. Watch this space in the studio.

It's exciting times. Yeah. Very exciting. Yep. Love you, mate. It's huge. Love you, mate. Love you too.

Love you too. And also after people have come in your box, something else is on the way that we've been waiting for. A baby. That we've been waiting for this space to be able to do and now that it's here, it'll be coming and people have been asking for it. Do you know what I'm talking about? No.

Mate, I'll just come along for the ride. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no pants there either, I reckon. I reckon you could. Okay. For everyone else's sake. Oh.

Oh, like just the family show. Is it? No, it's probably not. No, I think it's the opposite. I think it's the very opposite. But we're really excited. Lots of good shit and good shit for you too. Good shit for you.

Great shit for you. So thank you very much. And thanks for being part of the TARPA community. We actually would not be here without all the people that listen and share our videos and are in the Patreon. You know, it's huge. So thank you. And to just pay it back, aside from getting to come in my box,

I've got to love to see it. Please. I've just started watching this show on Disney+. It's called Extraordinary. Extraordinary. And it's about this Irish girl and she, like, lives in a world where everybody has a superpower. I love that. But she doesn't. And so it's her

kind of like going about the world. Everyone can kind of like turn back time or like do crazy shit but she can't and she's like, oh, I didn't get my power when I turned 18 and I like really want it. Is this one, and I hate these shows when the superpower is your superpower is just being yourself.

Ew, they do say that but then they all laugh and go like, well, obviously fucking not. Yeah, because you're a loser. And wouldn't you just feel shortchanged? Oh, yeah. And you just go, oh, great. This guy's going back in time. Your superpower is kindness.

Like, give a fuck. Do you know what I mean? That would be fuck off, yeah. I want to be able to fly. But it's like, so she's Irish. It's fucking, it's really funny it's on disney plus um you could probably look at that with your hubble if you had one oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah um but right um anyway it's a really really good show it's on yeah it's on disney plus in australia

so i guess it's on like hulu in america because i think they're the same yeah. My computer's frozen and then I tried to send you a link to watch this video, but I accidentally sent it to Franco. Does your dog – He's like, I told you I don't want the job. Does your dog Pippa have a collar? No. Really? No.

Does she got like a chip? She does have a microchip, yeah. So she gets out, that's how they can like find her or like contact you or whatever. Yeah. But she doesn't wear a collar because it's like a... She doesn't have a neck. Well, yeah, so I wouldn't be very comfortable for her because she's got little...

But when we take her out for a walk, there's a little like name badge on her harness. Does it have a phone number? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it says Pipa on one side. It's the cutest little thing actually. So the link that I just sent to Franco is a picture of a dog.

And the dog's collar says... He's going to like that. The dog's collar says, I got lost prowling for bitches. Have your people call my people. And then the phone number. And I just think that's the attitude we can all aspire to. That is really funny. Yeah.

Now I hope Franco enjoys the picture. Yeah, I think he will. I think that'll make his Friday. He'll go, Ryan and I, still mates. Yeah. Now I hope Franco enjoys the picture. Yeah. I think he will. I think that'll make his Friday. He'll go, Ryan and I, still mates. Yeah, still mates. Yeah. Invited him to my wedding late, but still mates. Well, my good mate Tony didn't even turn up to my wedding.

I'd COVID. Or go to Lorde. That's on the Lorde thing. I paid for the tickets and I paid for the hotel, but I didn't get to go. Producer Cam went, actually. He stayed in the hotel room that I paid for the hotel, but I didn't get to go. Producer Cam went, actually. He stayed in the hotel room that I paid for. He really lived it up. Yeah, he had a great time.

He was in a room with three queen beds in it or something. Well, from all I heard, Grindr got lit up and there were three queens in it later, so all good. That's very funny. Our loss is Grindr's gain. Exactly right. Thank you very much for listening and watching. Yep.

Fucking love to see it. And welcome. Welcome. Have a good weekend. Up the Hawks. Are they playing this weekend? Haven't done my footy tipping. Yeah, they're playing Essendon tomorrow.

Good. As you know. As I know. Love you. Bye.