Toni and Ryan - Movie Reviews & Birthday Parties

Episode Date: September 13, 2021

We hope you've all done your homework - because we're about to blow your MINDS with the OFFICIAL He's All That review. Love u Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn and don't forgot to join our Facebook group 'Toni and Ryan Podcast'. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hi, Lauren, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you? Hi, how are you? Yeah, good, thank you. Thanks for taking our call. Oh, thanks for calling. Oh, of course.

There was a few rings there, though. Were you not prepared? No, no. I'm at a six-year-old's birthday party. I had to run away from screaming children. Oh, my God. Sorry about that. Okay, I need to ask a very important question.

What is the food situation like? We're talking sausage rolls, fairy bread. What's up with that? We are talking two days' worth of baking. So sausage rolls, fairy bread, cupcakes, crepes, bacon, eggs, the whole shebang. Should we head round there? Yeah.

Where are you based, Lauren? Oh, I'm in Perth. In Perth. Of course, because you're obviously not in Melbourne because you can have friends over. Yeah. I'm having a social life. Oh, it must be nice.

Yeah, fine. Well, you enjoy your food and our footy finals. Yeah, we will. And we'll just sit in here in a dark room by ourselves. Yeah, sounds good. I think of you every day, though, I promise. Oh, Lauren, okay. I've got a boyfriend.

That's all right. I'm married. It's only a ring. Oh. Well, that's what she said. Well, we're about to record our podcast, Lauren, and we wanted to know if we could have your approval to get started. Definitely.

Yay! Thank you so much. No, thanks for the laugh, guys. You're doing a great job. And say happy birthday to whoever's turning six. Will do. Sweet. Thanks, Loz.

Bye. Thanks a lot. Bye. Hi, I'm Lauren. I'm from Perth, and I approve this podcast. Yeah. Hi, I'm Lauren. I'm from Perth and I approve this podcast. Welcome to a special edition of the Tony and Ryan podcast. And our first Tuesday episode.

Our first Tuesday episode, three a week from now on. Now, Lauren, who just gave approval, she was at a birthday party. Yeah. Sounded like a lot of fun. And it's given us a great idea. Coming up, things you can say in the bedroom, but also at a birthday party. Now, just to clarify, is it a kid's birthday or is it just like birthdays in general? So when I was thinking about some things that maybe I could say, there's a bit of crossover. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm definitely going to have to edit some out.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But first, somewhat of a different episode. So don't judge us harshly on this. Yeah. We gave a homework assignment. Yes.

To watch He's All That. Yes. The spin-off? The remake. Sequel, the remake of She's All That. Yeah. And it's with Addison Rae, who is one of the biggest people on TikTok. She's got like 84 million followers.

That's like 83 and a half more than Tony. It's more than that. I don't have 500,000 followers. Not yet, mate. Yeah, we'll buy Tuesday. But so she's like this gorgeous young girl and she plays a TikToker in the film. It's copped a bit of flack online.

It's copped a lot of flack. So we thought instead of us just jumping on the hatred, first before we start the hatred, we'll watch it, then we'll hate on it. Just quickly, Olivia Ray said, I watched it last week. Honestly, didn't mind it. Michelle said, predictably cringe. Oh, okay.

Emma said, I watched this the other week to find out just how bad it could actually be and it superseded my expectations of how shit it was. I love a shitty rom-com, but the rom-com? Rom-com. G'day, Ronnie. Hey, you're a champion. Rom-com, but the... Ron-com? Ron-com. G'day, Ronnie. Hey, you're jamming. Rom-com, but this was actually terrible.

Garrett said, I watched the entire movie as per our homework assignment. It was a tough watch, but I'm a committed podcast listener. Oh, okay. So they're all people that have talked about it inside our Tony Rowan Facebook group. If you're not a member of that, you can go to the link in our bios on Instagram or TikTok to join. Renee said, how can you be so shit at playing a character who is yourself? It's a good point.

I mean. So how we're going to do this is, Ryan, you're going to give us your thoughts. I've just got a list of issues. And we can chat about it? I've got a list of issues. Okay. All right.

Start at the top. Not even thoughts. Just issues. What's your top issue? What's your top issue? How many issues have you got? In the movie or just my life? One, two, three, four.

Okay, so you've got top four issues. Top four issues. Alright, lay it on me. Number one, and I'm not the first guy to say this. A lot of people in the group said it. The ugly guy's not ugly. The whole premise of the show is we're gonna find some guy who's like nerdy and not good looking and the makeover queen is gonna make him hot well not only is he not ugly he's like the hottest guy alive he's got like a chiseled

body as well like when he took his shirt off i was like like, are you right? Literally. I had to get a tea towel and wipe this drool coming from my wife Bridget's mouth when she saw it. In fairness, the original She's All That, Rachel Leigh Cook, she's gorgeous too. Who's in this as well? Yeah, so she plays Addison Rae's mother. That's issue number three, which I'll get to. Sorry, get into it.

Yep. But so in the original, she's good looking too. I mean, have you seen Josie and the Pussycats? No. She's one of the leads in that. But do they like at least dress her down so she looks a bit not hot at the start? Yeah, I think they like put her in overalls and glasses, you know,

a classic. I just realised I've seen not another teen movie and I just kept going like, hang on, I've seen this movie and I'm like, no, I've seen the spoof of the movie. That's what I kept doing too. And I was like, oh, yeah, I have seen this. You know in Not Another Teen movie right at the beginning, the naughty bit?

What naughty bit? The naughty bit at the beginning of Not Another Teen movie. What happens? Oh, no, it's all right. No, no, go. Well, she goes to masturbate. What? And her, like, family walks in with, like, a birthday cake

because it's her birthday or something. And then the, like, dildo vibrator or something, like, is in the cake and it's, like, swinging around and the frosting's all over the place. Yeah. And that wasn't in the original. I don't know. I haven't seen the original.

But anyway, unnecessary information. The ugly guy's not ugly, and this is what's so great. His wig is so bad that you might not have noticed this at the time. He's always wearing a beanie or a hat. He wears a beanie the whole time. That's to hold the wig on. Oh, yeah. You'd need something to hold that wig on.

Hey, Tony, I've got a challenge for you. Okay. I'm going to give you this female. Her name's Dua Lipa. Can you make her hot? Yeah, nah, I reckon I probably could. Yeah, well, take her hat off. Literally, they didn't even need to make her.

It was the same person. Yeah. Oh, hey, I've got this guy. I want you to turn him into someone who's, like, kind of good looking and kind of good at soccer. Here's David Beckham. Tony, do you reckon you could make this guy over? I think I could work with that, yeah.

She literally just goes, oh, I'll do a makeover and just gets the scissors and goes, by the way, she's in high school. She's clearly not a qualified hairdresser. She literally just cuts his long hair off and goes, well, my work here is done, and he's the hottest guy alive. He does look good when they rock up at that party, though. In a suit? In that suit.

Yeah, a bit of all right. I don't know. Put that in you, David Beckham. Oh, God. First scene in another Jane movie. You know what I mean? Second issue. Now, this is not a spoiler.

It sounds like a spoiler. This is not a spoiler. Oh, actually, should we do a spoiler warning? Like, are there? Oh, yeah, I guess. But not for this one because this is the opening scene and it's also in the trailer. So if it sounds like I'm spoiling it, it's straight up the front.

Sure. Addison Rae gets cheated on. And for some reason the writers thought that she is the one who gets cancelled and the guy who cheated on her gets all this popularity. Let me just correct you on that. If you cheat on someone, you're the bad guy and everyone feels sorry for the person who gets cheated on her gets all this popularity. Let me just correct you on that. If you cheat on someone, you're the bad guy and everyone feels sorry for the person who gets cheated on. Why?

How is it possible? Why is she the bad guy? He's cheating on her with some disgusting young lady. Yeah, which is awful anyway. Awful. Yeah. And then suddenly the story's like, oh, how is she going to recover? Yeah.

Because her public image is tarnished. Yeah, because she had 900,000 followers and she has 700,000, you know, still decent. But why is she being cancelled? Because she was being cheated on. That makes no sense. And then Kourtney Kardashian calls her. Oh, you don't want to.

I wonder how much that bloody cost them. Well, they clearly filmed it in the same day and she clearly hadn't read her lines in advance. I'm hoping that didn't pay too much. She was terrible. And they're like, oh, we don't know what's going to happen. Okay. Yeah, well, and it's so predictable, isn't it?

Well, yeah. I mean, but anyway, next issue. My next issue is that Addison Rae's mum, who's the actress's name? Rachel Leigh Cook. Looks about 18 months older than Addison Rae. Yes, she does. Did you notice that? Do you know that?

She's pretty old. She's in her 40s. Yeah. Don't get me wrong. She is probably of the age that could be. But when you see them next to each other, there was this scene where I think they knew that they looked kind of the same age. So Addison Rae literally goes, oh, hello, mother.

You're my mother, aren't you? Yes. Just to make sure that there's no confusion. But as soon as they before she said that i was like is this like a sister is it a roommate yeah and then she said mom and i was like no i know the ages work out but i look at you addison ray and you like not that she looks old but she just looks grown up but rachel lee cook looks young as hell you guys like yeah i can't get past this i'm very aware i'm watching a movie and you guys aren't actually related.

It's a bit like how in the new Spider-Man's, Marisa Tomei plays Aunt May. And in the very original Spider-Man's, the ones with Tobey Maguire in it, it's this frail little old lady that plays Aunt May. Then in the new ones, she's literally like 35. Yeah, that's confusing. It's very confusing. And my fourth issue is I'm just going to play the song.

I challenge you to a dance-off. I love this song. Dance-off. No trash talk, no back walk. It's a great song. Macklemore. Idris Elba. Yeah, doing the voice.

But for some reason, they have a dance-off in the movie. And don't get me wrong, they're all fabulous dancers. But I just don't understand why you would have a dance-off with your archenemy that's clearly been rehearsed a lot. There's no one in the world I hate more than Tony Lodge. Hey, Tony, what are you doing on the Savo? You're free at 4 o'clock, we need to rehearse that dance. We've got to spend probably after school every day

for three or four weeks just nailing this dance. Why? Because we're arch enemies. That's not what arch enemies do. They're busy hating each other, but you know what they do instead? Oh, what time's dance? Oh, I don't know why. I challenge you to a dance off.

Hands off. No trash talk. No back walk. The actor in the movie literally says, I don't know why we're doing this. He says it in the film and I agree with him. I was going to say, it's like that thing where they're trying to be, like, self-aware and the, like, principal goes,

oh, God, we've got a lot of weird traditions here, don't we? And I was like, it's only working. If you're aware enough to put that into the film, just don't put it in. Did you know that that's the guy who plays Shaggy in The Eerie? Yeah. Yeah, I'm like, good to see you getting work. In fact, he might be a things you love to see.

Yeah. I don't know who you are. Love to see that you're still working, bud. Yeah, love it. He's actually very funny. I thought he was funny and then the little dance he does at the end. Yeah, no, he was really fiddling it. But they were my main issues.

I mean, I had a few to choose from. Yeah, and so after you watched it, you said to me, I've just watched the movie, Oscar buzz. I kept texting Oscar buzz to Tony. I watched it before Tony and you were like, stop talking to me about it. I was like, don't tell me because I want to watch it. I loved it.

No, you did not. I cried. What part? All of it. I loved it. So this is why you didn't want to talk to me about it? Because I loved it. I sat there watching it.

What was there to love about? I loved it. Do you agree with the issues? Oh, I agree with the issues, but I think that my... Is that where you're at at the moment my bar is so low but that's the thing everybody had shit canned it so much that i was like god this is going to be shocking yeah and it was like it was like a dumb chick flick rom-com movie and like yes they did say oh free pizza hut of like let me ditch some kfc but i really liked it. Why does he work at a horse stable?

I don't know. But I think that it is not without its issues. Everything that you said is valid. But to be honest, it was just good garbage. And I actually really liked it. I cried at the end. You can ring Torbs. Which part did you cry at?

What specific part set you off? I teared up a bit. When he rocks up in a horse? In a horse? In a horse. On a horse. On a horse. He rocks up to the school dance on a horse.

Well, you know the bit where he's like talking about how his mum passed away in the plane crash? Oh, spoilers. His mum passed away in the plane crash and then the other bit when they're in the train station and he's like, you just have to know what to say in others. It's a candid life or whatever. I just, I was tearing up. It was quite funny when she goes, this place is so weird, it's like a train station.

And he's like, it is. A train station. I did laugh at that. I just, I thought, look, it is not without its issues, as you pointed out. I loved it. What did you think when her arm disappeared in the edit? I mean, obviously that's not great.

Do you know the biggest cringe part of the film for me, which most people probably won't relate to but the worst part of the film? The tattoos at the end. I didn't mind that. Oh, my God. That was like the only part that I didn't like. Yep. No, but you have to honour a bit.

But why did she get it on her arm? That's so dumb. Where would you have put it in, Addison Rae? Like on her arm, like hidden a dumb. Where would you have put it in, Addison Rae? Like, on her arm. Like, hidden a bit. Like, on your bicep. Yeah. I just think that that's really dumb and just not forward thinking. My main, another issue, her speech. Oh, after she wins the prom queen. What is she talking, that went for so long.

And the fact that she's like talking to the friend and saying, you have to stream and you have to press this red button and then the other girl. And then gave a speech about how she's not about that life and then it goes, I'm not about that life, and then it cuts to the future montage and she's like, hey, subscribers, what's going on? I'm like, you're the same person.

You haven't changed at all. Yeah, except that now you're on a horse as well. I challenge you to a dance off. as well. I really like that song. I liked the movie. It was not without its issues, but it's good garbage. I think if you want to watch something that is just a bit dumb, a bit mindless, I think it was great. You know how I accidentally blew up on Twitter last week?

Oh, okay, mate. No, you gave me shit about it. This is the fifth time you've brought this up to me. So. Today. If you go to YouTube and look up Dance Off, one of the top comments will be by me saying, anyone else here from He's All That and just froths this song?

Oh, that's very funny. Did that go well? Not sure. I'm hoping it did, though. Go look it up now. and just froths this song. Oh, that's very funny. Did that go well? Not sure. I'm hoping it did, though. Go look it up now. It is actually a great scene. It makes no sense in the context of the film,

but it's just a great song. And, I mean, you get a bunch of TikTokers. They're going to dance. No likes. You found it? Yeah. I'm a grown man who is not here because of He's All That. Like this comment if you're 100% most certainly definitely not here because of that movie.

How many likes? No likes. Literally not a single one. Not a single like. And it's had like six more comments since then too. That's not good. Dancer. I love this song.

Hi, I'm Lauren. Call it from Perth and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. All right, so on tomorrow's episode,

someone has shared with me the most excruciating first date. The guy didn't do anything wrong, but she just said, as soon as this happened, I literally couldn't look him in the eye. Oh. Did he say that he likes Brooklyn Nine-Nine? Why are you so against Brooklyn Nine-Nine? I hate Brooklyn Nine-Nine. That's on tomorrow's show. However, earlier you heard Lauren at a sixth birthday party.

It sounded bloody fun. And the fact that they're not in lockdown and can actually hang out, kids parties, sausage rolls. Because both of us have friends and family in Perth. Yeah. And it's pretty rough. It's hard to watch them having so much fun. So we thought we'd do things you can say in the bedroom

and also at a birthday party. It went off last week when we talked about things you can say in the bedroom and also at dinner. Yep. And we would just like to say there is no age limit on this birthday party. Obviously a child's birthday party comes to mind, but it can be any type of birthday.

Okay, thanks for that asterisk. I just wanted to flag. Okay, good flag. Oh, sorry, mate. I'm saying it's a good flag. Oh, thank you, mate. Are we fighting? No.

You go first. Okay. Could you pass that parcel? No. You go first. Okay. Could you pass that parcel? Like the game? Like the children's game? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That parcel like... Don't.

That was a very aggressive hand gesture. How would you describe that? Squeezing a grapefruit. Not my first time. Just wanted to check. How old are you again? Oh, because they're celebrating a birthday. Yeah. Oh, yep. I think I'm going to throw up.

No. I was once with someone who threw up during. What were you doing to the poor girl? Well, she claimed earlier in the evening that this is actually a horrible thing. I don't know if I want to share this story. I met this girl at a party and she was a lesbian. Yep. And I don't know, one thing led to another, whatever.

We went back to her place. We were both really drunk. She threw up and I said, you weren't joking about not liking me. She did find that quite funny. You took your shirt off and you were like. No, I'm definitely gay. Yeah, no, she appreciated the joke though.

Yeah. So I just wanted to put that out there. Yeah, she liked your gag. I was deliberately avoiding the word gag. Oh, sorry appreciated the joke, though. Yeah. So I just wanted to put that out there. Yeah, she liked your gag. I was deliberately avoiding the word gag. Oh, sorry. But thank you for... That's very funny. Things you can say in the bedroom and also at a birthday party. Oh, there's a hole in that wrapping paper.

Pregnant. Thanks for coming, everyone. That is such a good one. I didn't mean to think that. You do like it when they come, don't you? You do. Makes you feel nice. Yeah, it does make you feel nice.

Self-esteem. Why are there always clowns at these occasions? In this situation, are you having sex with the clown? Or is there a clown man? What's worse? I'm trying to decide. I think with the clown would be pretty bad. But then just standing in the corner of the room blowing up balloon animals while you're trying to blow up your own balloon.

Or it's one of those clowns like at the Royal Show. With the mouth open. And you're trying to put a ball in the mouth. Oh, this is so sticky. Who's ready for a surprise? Oh, my God. I think this is like a physical one because I'll have to pretend that there's a cake in front of me maybe.

Okay. I've got to make sure I enjoy this because I only get to blow on it once a year. Sorry, I'm fondling the microphone. Squeezing your grapefruits. Oh, everyone here did not RSVP. Oh, you've been such a good boy. They get a bit weirder, to be honest. Yeah, they are getting weirder.

Is that what you wanted, Dad? Let's film the whole thing so we can remember it. That is nice. Memories. Family memories. Oh, I'm actually adopted so we're not blood related so it's fine. Oh! I didn't think you could get that many people in here.

How many is too many, Tony? The limit does not exist. LAUGHTER What time's this finishing up? Now. Let me know when you're about to go. See you all again next year. This one works if you were playing pin the tail on the donkey.

Okay. Here's your blindfold. Which one was the donkey one? What? What? What? I don't get it. I don't get it. I hate being the one that doesn't get it. I don't think there's anything to get. Oh, okay. Just talking about my AS. Wow, you're a big boy now. Thank you. Usually that would be a fat-shaming thing, but thank you. No, it's that you're a big boy. Big boy.

Big boy. Big boy. We're a big boy. I don't know whether to say thanks for listening or just to apologise. Or not even thanks for listening, just thanks for not switching off. Yeah. Like it's not really like an active listening thing. It's kind of like, oh.

Yeah, yeah, nah, yep. I just hope that people like it. We're just trying to spread our gift, spread our seed throughout the world. Should we start letting it? Are you feeling okay? Something's happened. What has happened? I don't know.

I'm just talking about the big boys. Here's my you love to see it for today. Okay. You know what I love to see? What? I love to see Tony Lodge wearing that same jumper she was wearing last week that made it look like you were naked in the studio. Oh, my God.

By the way, for people in the US, a jumper is what we call like a hoodie in Australia, but when it doesn't have a hood, just like a windsheeter. But it was, yeah, it was like just a really light knit. Yeah, light knit. And it was, we didn't realise at the time how... We didn't notice that it was going to kind of look a similar tone to the rest of my body. Yeah, so in the videos it looks like you're just sitting there nude.

Naked. And it was during the videos where we were talking about things that you can say in the bedroom and at dinner, so it looked like I was on theme. My You Love To See It is that last week and yesterday we talked about these delicious Kranskis covered in pastry. Yeah. And today on the way to recording, Ryan, you were already working,

so I stopped and grabbed us some lunch on the way very quickly, all COVID safe, and the look on your face when I handed you the Kranskis was very special. How would you describe what my face looked like? You went, you fucking didn't. And that was really lovely. Okay, good to know. It was genuine. I saw that and I was like, oh, you have made my day. You make my life just by being here. But specifically today, it was the

Kranskis with the cheese. That's really nice. You about to cry again? No, that was just really nice. Have you done a podcast episode or watched a trashy movie and not cried recently? Literally no. I just, it just gets to me. But anyway, I love to see that.

Love to see you so happy with a big sausage. Me and my big sausage say thank you. What else is there? That's usually what I hear. They see the sausage and go, oh, is that it? Well, I hope that you enjoyed our first Tuesday episode ever.

Hopefully they get better from here. Yeah, I would hope so, yeah. Tomorrow on the show, the worst first date I've ever heard. You're going to hear that story. Until then. Should I say bye? Go on.

Bye. You didn't say bye. Do you want to say bye? See you later, mate. 🎵