Toni and Ryan - NEIGHBOURHOOD PUSSY

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

A cautionary tale of Day Spas AND neighbours. Love ya xCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. And we are calling Nathan, who's in Colorado Springs. Wow. Pretty sure that's not how they say it. I don't know why you said Springs. Neither. I was thinking about chicken wings. Chicken wings in Colorado Springs. Hello?

Nathan, it's Tony and Ryan. How you doing? I'm good. How are you? Real good. Are you in the bathroom? Are you in the toilet? Nathan, what's going on, man? No. I have a new house and I have nothing on the wall, so it's very echoey. I'm sorry. Oh, no.

It sounds better now. I think maybe we were on speaker. It sounded like you were God and we were like, hello. I mean, I could be. Sex God maybe, Nathan. I've heard. I've, I could be. Sex god, maybe, Nathan. I've heard. I've heard stories about you in Colorado Springs. Yeah.

Now, Nathan, if you've just bought a house in Colorado, does that make you a billionaire? Like, what's your deal, bro? No, I just got really lucky with property that we found. Well done. Well done. Except doesn't that sound dodgy? It's like when someone goes, yeah, I just got really lucky with the property we found. Well done. Well done. Except doesn't that sound dodgy? It's like when someone goes, yeah, I found this Rolex.

Like, yeah, we found this. Yeah, came up and fell off the back of a truck. We just found it. Some guy in an alley said, yeah, just pay cash. Yeah, I've secretly been squinting here for like six months. Yeah, great. Squatters rights. One of the greats.

Nathan, will you approve today's episode? Absolutely, I will Spot is right. One of the greats. Nathan, will you approve today's episode? Absolutely, I will. Fuck yeah. This is Nathan from Colorado Springs and I approve this podcast. Alright, quick episode episodes, good episode, because it was my wife's birthday a few weeks ago and today we're off to a day spa. Oh, going to a day spa, day spa.

Do you remember that YouTube video that didn't say that? No. But what I do know is, is that getting your wife a present that you can also use is one of the great fucking moves. I hate to use the word hack, but it's got to be a hack. It's one of the great hacks. Yeah. I believe you have some words of wisdom, advice.

I do have some words of wisdom, actually. Yeah, we can say that. Advice or a cautionary tale? I mean, I think everything I do is a cautionary tale for others to avoid the same pitfalls that I have. Yep, yep, yep. All right, that's coming up today. But first, these are top confessions. Can you believe that Usher, once again, I just, I'm still in shock.

I can't believe you mentioned it for three weeks in a row. That's what I can't believe. I'm just still in shock that Usher sang our theme song at the Super Bowl. Super Bowl 58. Was it 58? Was it? In the 50s. I think it was 52.

Actually, I don't know. Maybe you're right. Let's just steer clear of the sports facts. All right. It's a safer bet. This confession is whose pet is the asshole pet? I don't like this because people are really defensive about their pets. Do you remember when there was a phantom poo in the office after?

Oh, that was pandemonium. It was, yeah. Apparently Beej is still getting accused of being the mystery pooper. I've actually, I've stayed out of this because I don't want to, I'm, I. Was it Pippa? I don't think it was because. That's what someone who owns the pooping dog would say. Oh, I don't know.

I just. Well, I mean, there was two French bulldogs and a Kelpie. Yeah. And it was quite a large poo. That's all I'll say. Okay. Well, it sounds like you're saying a lot. No, that's all I'll say.

Sounds like you're saying a lot. My next door neighbors seem nice and. Oh, hang on. I can't deal with another like almost pet poisoning. Is that what's happening again? Yeah, I've skipped a step here. Old Aussie plant. This confessor says, I, like Tony Lodge,

wanted to make a good impression on my new neighbours because I've also just moved into a new neighbourhood. Beautiful. Out to the country. Welcome. The next door neighbours seem really nice and I envisage sharing afternoon charcuterie boards and wind downs every Friday

and building a lasting friendship built on trust and affection. Okay, you can stop right there because I said this to you and you said you don't have to be friends with your neighbours. I said, no, I think it would be really nice. See, other people want this. I'm not claiming. I wish that this confessor had moved next to me because we could then be having the charcuterie boards and the.

You guys actually would because they have a cute dog called Boo. Oh, Pipper and Boo. Yeah. And they can be mates and they can run around in the backyard. And you guys, I think, are the perfect neighbours. But unfortunately, you've ended up where you are. And she's ended up. My neighbours are good.

Their neighbours are good. But she's ended up where she is. Unfortunately, you guys haven't landed next to each other. Next to each other. Yeah. My neighbour's cat, Nookie. Would it be Nookie? Nookie, probably.

My neighbor's cat, Nookie. Like the Green Day song. Climbs over the fence and annoys my dog, Boo. Nookie the cat taunts Boo with tense encounters. Tense encounters? One day, Nookie the cat swiped at Boo the dog across the face and almost lost an eye and he had a little scratch on his face and stuff. Oh, that's, yeah, you, nah, not okay.

I begged to the neighbours to do something. Stop him coming over, do whatever you need to do. Like, he's annoying my dog, can you please do something? And they go, oh, yeah, we'll keep an eye on him, you know. But cats, they just go rogue, don't they? Cats are shit, yeah. Well, they just go rogue, don't they? Cats are shit. Well, they just have run of the neighbourhood. Yeah, that's what I think they do.

Because they're just plouncing into the other houses. Yeah, we don't need a lead or a fucking fence. We just climb shit and do stuff. We just go all about. They're assholes. I hate them. The next time Nookie the cat came into the yard, it was clear that Boo the dog had had enough.

Oh, no. Well, I guess that's what would happen in nature, isn't it? Our dog Boo literally killed, then ate their cat, chomped it down, then chomped it down. Oh, that is awful. Oh, that is so awful. Ryan, you can't laugh at that. That's fucked.

No, that's so fucked. That's someone's pet. Yeah, I know, but it's not like I'm just laughing at the. At how extreme it is. Yeah. I thought it was like, oh, and he like bit its leg and it was like. Oh, he swiped me, so I killed him. And then ate it.

Like it's just so severe. How big is this dog? It's like where's the body? It's like, severe. How big is this dog? It's like, where's the body? It's like, no. How big is the dog? Do we know? I don't think it's that big, but he'd had enough. Killed it and then, no, that didn't happen.

There's just no way. Is my dog the arsehole or is that the rules of the jungle? I just don't think it's a proportional response. Is that the rules of fuck around and find out? Because Nookie fucked around and then guess what happened to Nookie? Found out. Well, found dead. Or not even because of body. No body. Found digested.

Oh. I tell you what makes my... Ripping pores. Ironically, what makes my bones shiver is the thought of, like, biting and crushing bones. There's just no way that happened. And then they played it dumb.

They're like, oh, I haven't seen the cat. I haven't seen the cat. I'm like, nah. Okay, but you would, wouldn't you? Like. Yeah, my dog ate it, so shut the fuck up. No, but you'd go Oh no she actually

Hasn't come round anymore I guess the animal Sorted it out What happens when there's A nookie like leg Just laying on the Yeah Or like

The dog is running And the bell's in the tummy From the collar Yeah Bing bing bing They're like Christmas time Is it Or they have one of those apps

Where it's like Find my cat And it's just like Following the dog around And you go Oh Or they go Take it to the like following the dog around? And you go, oh. Or they take it to the vet, take the dog to the vet, get microchipped. There's two microchips in there. No, that did not happen.

There's just no way that that happened, Dave. We clearly did. And fuck around and find out, Nookie. No, because it's not. That's all you get for swiping my boo. No, it's not. That is, wow. No, there's just not a proportionate response.

What would be a proportionate response? Swipe back. Like tit for tat. No, boo doesn't compete in battles. He wins battles. Oh, I mean, it is absolutely awful. All that bullshit just built up. But I think I'm like looking at this in a way where I'm like,

oh, if Pippa did that, I'd be mortified, which I would. But also if we'd had problems with the cat and we're like, it's coming into our yard, like into Pippa's area. Fuck around and find out. But I don't think that the dog ate the cat. I think Pippa will eat her. I mean, Pippa's jaw opens like a snake. Like, she, like, detaches, goes all the way back like a pez.

So you're saying she could eat a cat? Yeah. How many cats do you reckon she's eaten? She might have eaten a few and you never know. No, she's never eaten a cat. Maybe not a full cat. Maybe it's, like, a few kittens. No.

Please. I can't. I can see her. No, you can't. She would never. I can see it. I was't She would never I can see it I was about to say She wouldn't hurt a fly

But she loves eating bugs So Maybe she's a fucking Cannibal Cannibal Carnivore Yeah She likes eating shit bro

Yeah Fuck she's probably Taking a few down No she How many birds Do you reckon she's eaten No she wouldn't She's not fast enough

To catch a bird Yeah that's true She's too clumsy Or a cat Next confession I think it's take a deep breath everyone What if my neighbours listen to this and they're like Well our cat's gone missing

Yeah, and Pippa's looking pretty full Yeah, she's looking plump Hasn't eaten for a while, she's not hungry My clumsiness ended an orgy and I'm so embarrassed Some people just aren't cut out for orgies. That's a fact. Yeah. It was my first time in a gay bathhouse.

I was wearing a towel, flip-flops and my glasses and we walked down the stairs into a private underground room where five or six people could enjoy themselves. Okay, hot. Literally, because you're in a bathhouse. I was so excited that the party had already started, because we were walking down the stairs and we were like, ooh, we're fucking on here, that I missed the bottom step,

fell on my face and smashed my glasses and my robe fell off. Oh. I did foresee the glasses being an issue. I'll be very honest with you. Has that been an issue for you in orgies in the past? Yeah. It's a hard one in a spa. Oh, they fog up. Yeah.

It's like when I, you know, whenever we're cooking together on a live stream, I open the oven and I'm blinded. Yeah, that's right. Don't put your face in the oven. You open the door and let it do its and then have a look. Yeah, and do the lean. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, but the robe falling off. So your little bum's out and your glasses are all smashed and then everyone has to stop canoodling to help you up. One bloke peeled himself out of another and ran over to get me an ice pack. That's really nice. Another bloke did a push-up to bring himself from being face down on the bench, and he helped me look for the pieces of my glasses that had broken.

And this other guy helped me put my robe back on, but because he was so excited for the moment and standing over me, he had to kind of sway from side to side to, like, look around himself to, like, see me. You know, oh, hey, just get that. And you can imagine, you're like, oh, thanks, mate. Oh, but he didn't have his glasses on, so he didn't know it was coming. It was all happening.

They were all so nice and so sweet, which actually made it worse. Worse, yeah. Because he was like, first of all, I wanted to have a good time, but second of all, I didn't want to be a burden on anyone else. And when they're having a really good time, I didn't want to be the reason. You just want to sneak away? I didn't want to be the reason they stopped, but they all like came over and helped him out and blah, blah, blah.

So he was just really embarrassed that he was the reason that the orgy stopped. Did he end up joining in the fun or did he take off? Maybe I'm just too clumsy and blind to be railed by three guys at once. Oh, no. Dream big. And if you want to get railed by three guys at once, it will happen. Believe and you can achieve. Yeah.

He said he just wanted to run away so he went to another room and then two guys sucked him off at the same time so he said he was you know first aid all's well first guide yeah all's well that ends well yeah yeah where there's a will there's a way and isn't that a cute story to teach children about um never giving up on your dreams and perseverance and even though you're a four eyes you can still have two mouths on your one eye. So, you know, it's not all bad is what I'm saying. It's a lot of maths, but I'm there. This is Nathan from Colorado Springs and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. I'm actually a little bit concerned about,

just before we get into the shout-outs, I've actually got a day spa story just here. I didn't put two and two together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or one and two and two holes in one eye. And two and the three and the one and the whatever. But just so we can all cool down beforehand. So I'm off today with my wife to what? The two and the three and the one and the whatever. But just so we can all cool down beforehand. So I'm off today with my wife to what, be in a robe and just walk around the common grounds of down in the hot springs.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry, before we get there, a few champion tapas for our Patreon. That's tapas, Tony and Ryan podcast. Nice. Drew Gadsby. Thanks, that's Tappers, Tony and Ryan podcast. Nice. Drew Gadsby. Thanks, Drew. Vexa, Izzy Heimsieger, Molly McGee, Tiffany Nornita, and Britt D. Thank you so much for being part of the Patreon.

We actually can't do this without you, so we bloody love you, and thank you very much. Thank you very much. Play the Enya. Doom, doom. Sail away, sail away, sail away. We would have played the actual song, but we don't have the rights to it. Yeah.

I'm off to a day spa today as a present for Bridget's birthday. Yeah. And it's a little bit different to the day spa we just heard about in that confession. I hope not. As far as I'm aware. I hope it's really similar. And it's in Mornington.

It's the Hot Springs. And so I think there's like all these different like baths and pools and spas and so you sort of walk around and try the different ones and then at one time we've got like a a massage booked is it like a couple like you're both in the same room i think so that's nice so it's like a a half or 45 minute massage and then like a 15 minute like a facial or or something and maybe it ends with like a wrap. What's a wrap mean? Not like a wrap battle. Going to a day spa.

No, no, no, no, no, no. But like they come in and like you get wrapped into like something good for your skin. Oh, I've never had that. Yeah. So that's where we're off to. But I think that some people just go to just like lounge around. Yeah. So have you done that before? I've done the hot springs before.

will just go to just like lounge around. Yeah. So have you done that before? I've done the hot springs before and it is very, very like it's, I think it's nice because it's just like. Are three guys going to suck me off? Was there that energy about it? No, it's kind of like because everybody's walking around in a robe, it has like cult vibes, which it obviously like isn't that,

but because everyone's walking around in the same outfit or you feel like a bit like maybe that's what rehab would be like. Yeah. And is it, the venue's really nice, like a cult would be? It is beautiful. Yeah. Where you're going is like, is absolutely stunning. I'm going to Jessica Alba's house.

Is that what it's called? Yes, it is. Yeah. Yeah. Right down the road from Jessica Beals. Jessica BLT. Yeah. Jessica BLT and the Jessica Alba Day house. Is that what it's called? Yes, it is. Yeah. Yeah. Right down the road from Jessica Beals. Jessica BLT. Yeah. Jessica BLT and the Jessica Alba Day Spa.

Yeah. But so it's going to feel like a cult, but in a good way. In a good way. In a way that makes you feel included. Yeah. But you definitely go away being like brainwashed. Like I'm pretty sure it was me that put, incepted you to go to this Jessica Alba's place. Yeah.

Yeah. They just have honey on a loop. I know, Tony. She Jessica Albers place. Yeah. They just have honey on a loop. I know, Tony. She's a massive cult. Yeah. But I actually, I'm not very, I didn't go all the way down to Mornington because I just, it was in the city. But I went to this like fancy day spa not that long ago

because I'm really trying to, I've talked about my psoriasis a bit recently, like really trying to like get it under control and I'm trying all these different things to find out what works. And I read about this like doing like hot-cold therapy. So you know how people do those like cryo little bug? It's like a little pod and oh, sorry, my computer's making noise. There's like that little pod and you like do this. Yeah, so it wasn't that.

It's like a wet steam room. Yeah. And then there's like an ice room and they've got this like big ice fountain and it spits out like ice chips and you rub them all over your body to like shock your skin and then go back into the steam room, open all your pores up again. And so you kind of like go back and forth for however long like the session is. Did you know I was listening to Andrew Hoobman in the Hoobman Lab?

Hoobman Lab. He's in Australia. Oh, was in Australia. Shivering is really good for your body, your nervous system and potentially weight loss. And because he goes, people that get really good at ice baths, it becomes redundant because you get used to it. He's like the whole point is the shock and the shiver and like,

apparently that's really good for your nervous system. But then you get good at it and used to it and it's not like a thing anymore. Oh. Yeah. So is that like you need a tolerance break? He's like, yeah, take a month off and start again. Yeah. Yeah.

Because, yeah, otherwise you just. Or go in and rub some ice chips on you to change it up a little. Well, because, yeah, I think the extremes. And did you like it? Was it like. Yeah, well, so I've done similar stuff before, but this is the first time. And it was like quite a fancy place.

And I was like, I was chatting to them on Instagram beforehand. Did you have to sign anything? It feels like the circle with Emma Watson and Tom Hanks that was a very culty movie um have you watched a cure for wellness no don't okay done if anybody has watched that what is it it is so there's is this guy I can't remember the premise but he ends up going to this like wellness retreat in like sweden or like switzerland or something and it is like the stuff that they do to him is like so if anyone's seen that movie like it's worse than what happened in the previous confession yeah it's like really fucked up like i don't want to say oh it came out quite a while

ago it's just really fucked. Anyway, so I was chatting to them beforehand and I'm like, oh, I'm coming for this reason. Like it's not just like for fun. I'm like, what do you think? And they're like, yep, I think that'll be really good for you. And they're saying like make sure you drink like plenty of water beforehand because like you're sweating all this shit out and you kind of need to have like like, a lot of, like, good stuff in you.

Anyway, so I'm like, all right, no, I need to drink heaps of water. And they're like, and it's not a private session, so you have to, like, wear your bathers. Right. What do you mean? Like, as in you're sharing the. Well, so there can be other people. There happened to not be when I was there, but you wear like bathers.

You can't just fully nude up. It's not like you're locking yourself in the float tank so you can have a maz like you would normally do. No, which people have done in the past that I'm not aware of. You have to wear bathers, by the way, at Jessica Alba's day spa. Do I? You do, yeah. Yeah.

Just a little forewarning. I wish you didn't tell me that because then I could just have pleaded ignorance. Yeah, but they give you the little, like for this spa part, they'll give you the paper G, yeah. Do you like the paper G? Does anyone? No, yeah, good call. Yeah, and also as someone with like a thick butt.

Yeah, whose size paper G? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I don't need A4. I need like a big poster board, like what they do at JB Hi-Fi with the big texter. Yeah. Is there any paper in here? No.

That's a real shame. Yeah. Can everyone just pretend that I made a joke about being aroused and then I was going to rip the paper? The paper. Yeah, nice. Thank you. Prop comedian Zach.

Oh, wow. The only paper in here is your book. There's probably a blank page you could rip out if you want. I wouldn't do that to a piece of art. Oh, that's really nice. I appreciate you saying that. But, yes, you've got to wear bathers. Okay.

So they said to me, like, yeah, bring your bathers because you won't be in the thing by yourself. And I'm like, okay, well, like, I obviously need bathers because I'm going to get wet. I'm going to have a shower and whatever. I'm like, if someone tells I obviously need bathers because I'm going to get wet. I'm going to have a shower and whatever. I'm like, if someone tells you you need bathers, what's the other thing that you're like? A towel.

Thank you. So I, like, put my bathers on. I put a dress over the top so I could just, like, sleep out of it. I'd, like, braided my hair so it wouldn't get in the way. And I've got like a bag. Oh, no. They clearly have their own towels. Colts don't let you bring your own towel.

So I. And I've always said that. Or orgies. Yeah, they provide the towels. Oh, orgy. No, I would take a towel to an orgy. Do you reckon? Hang on.

If I had. You're not going surfing. It depends how you do it. True. Yeah. You know what? Sorry. If someone said to me, you can only take a towel to one of these two things.

Okay. A culty day spa or an orgy, I'd go, well, obviously the culty day spa's got towels, so I'll definitely take it to the orgy. Oh, yeah. Well. If someone said, where would you rather have the snacks? I would never eat the snacks at an orgy. At an orgy.

You've always said that. The cult, yes. Yeah. They would have nice snacks. Yeah. Yeah, they do have good food, actually, at Jessica Albers Day Spa. Anyway, so, like, you hear bathers, you think towel. Towel.

And when you think about taking a towel somewhere, do you go bath towel or do you go? Like a beach towel. Towel. And when you think about taking a towel somewhere, do you go bath towel or do you go? Like a beach towel. Beach towel. Oh, hang on. No. See, sorry to interrupt your story, but I'm guessing the cult has a very particular aesthetic.

Like, yep, everything's this shade of green or everything's this like cool, calm grey, and then you roll in with your, yeah, it's like a big pink flower on a yellow towel with a splash of blue. That's literally what it was. Like it's like the loudest. And you know how beach towels like get a hole in them somehow and it's like this like crusty, colourful Kmart fucking beach towel. Tony's towel is louder than Tony.

Yeah, and that is tough. That's fucking loud. You know what I mean? And so do they just go, no. So I rock up and I've got my bathers under my dress and I think I look like kind of like I belong. I bet you think that. You know.

I bet you think that. I'm wearing black bathers. I've got a black like maxi dress on and I feel like I look as though I like look the part to be at this fancy place. And I've got this bright beach towel hanging out of my bag. What sort of bag? Country road? No, I was just using my normal like work handbag.

It's just like a black leather tote. Because I was going to say the tote in itself could be problematic in a cult. Do you reckon? Well, it depends on what the tote is. Because some totes now are a bit colourful and funny. No, no, no. So I went very bland.

But so this is the thing is that I'm all dressed in all black, black water bottle. I drive in in a black car, black shoes, black scrunchie in my hair. You live in Melbourne, mate. We get it. Colourful beach towel with a hole in it from Kmart. So I just look like someone's. Has that towel been used to clean up pipper shit from a beach before? Why would I clean up towel with a hole in it from Kmart. So I just look like someone's. Has that towel been used to clean up Pippa's shit from a beach before?

Why would I clean up shit with a towel? Did you shit in the back of the car? Yeah, but, like, I didn't use a towel. Okay. Hey, man, I'm on the record of saying towels are fair game, so I'm sorry. Yeah, you know what? Sorry, now I understand your thinking. They're like, you're not going to shit here, are you?

That's what they thought I'd brought the towel for. So I walk in. It's like the most chic, beautiful. It's like this inner city. It's gorgeous. And this lady is showing me around. She happens to be the owner. She's like, oh, we're a bit short staffed today.

Like, I'll help you out. Like, we opened three years ago. You know, they're giving me the spiel. And I'm like, oh, it's so stunning. And we're whispering because there's people like having treatments done and stuff and it's just stunning. And she goes, okay, so like here's the locker and like after you're done, you can have a shower here and there's the paper underwear

if you need it for anything and whatever. And then she goes, oh, looks at my back, looks back at me and goes, and there are beautiful towels here. And she eyeballs the towel again. She goes, and there are beautiful towels here, looks back at the towel. And then she goes, so you don't need to worry about getting yours dirty. Like she was doing me a favour.

And I was like, I need to break the tension. I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like I just, I didn't know if you'd have to. She goes, we do. Like just like the, and obviously it's so obvious to everybody else. But because I wasn't doing any spa things, I was like, maybe for the hot and cold room you can just kind of like come and go a bit more so that it's like less provided for.

And you don't have to get yours dirty. And by yours dirty, I mean you don't have to dirty up my cold. I can't believe she didn't ask me to like put it back in the car. She's like, could you take it back out to the car, please? Can I see that towel for a second? She sets it on fire. Yeah, goes and pass me that lighter. Yeah, unfortunately it's been found destroyed.

I'm so sorry. But anyway, yeah. She borrows the towel and her dog eats it. And kills it. The dog kills the towel. The towel swiped at the dog. And so there was no other option. Well, the colour of your towel in the setting was swiping at the senses.

Yeah, it was. It actually was. This beautiful place. Like, yeah, so we've had it for three years. We've just redone it. And like, oh, you know, we're so proud of it. And I was like, you should be. Like, it's beautiful.

Nothing can ruin the look of the. Oh. Oh. What have you brought in here? Yeah, it was like I'd brought a stow away. And they were like, well, that's not allowed in this place. So I've got a. She was really nice about it, but I was like.

I've got a Hawthorne Hawks football towel. Oh, no. That we use at the back door to dry BJ's feet. Oh, don't besmirch the family club. I would never. It's my family. But we also use it near BJ's like eating bowl. Yeah, because his water goes everywhere.

Water splashes a bit and there's always some crumbs and whatever. Should I take that? Take that to Jessica Alba? And you're walking and they're checking you in and you're shaking it off and like dog food crumbs are coming off. Sorry, my dog eats on this house. Let me give it a shake.

And the fancy women behind you are getting like dog food like in their fucking fancy face. But anyway, yeah. So that is my advice. Don't take a towel anywhere. Just commit to being wet. And I actually have always said that. You are on the record.

I've got to love to see it just to get us out of this awful episode. Tanya says. Hi, Tanya. I had a headache and instead of just bringing me my headache medicine, my husband brought it to me on a silver tray whilst wearing a tuxedo. Here you go, man. You rang? Yeah.

He claims he read a study that things are more effective when you believe they're being administered by a person of authority or status. And Tanya goes, I don't care what the fucking study is. Instantly cured seeing my husband just roll in a tuxedo. The laugh would have been amazing, yeah. She goes, I love to see it. So everyone, there's a recommendation for you. I've never put a tuxedo on.

You'd look great in a tuxedo. Thank you. I would like to get one of those nice tailored pantsuits. Yeah, with duck tails? Probably not with the tails. That would make me look really short because it would be so long against my legs. Yeah. With duck tails? Probably not with the tails. That would make me look really short because it would be so long against my legs. But doesn't

wouldn't it take quite a long to put on? So is she like, hey babe can you get me some headache medication and then he's like, yep. And then 45 minutes later he comes back with it. There's different kinds of men in this world, Tony Lodge. Would it take me a while?

Yes. But I feel like some guys haven't. Who owns a tux? Yeah, but like. He goes down and rents one. He comes back two days later. She's dead. I wasn't a huge viewer of How I Met Your Mother.

Yeah. But I'm imagining Barney would just go, and he's in one. Yeah. You know, there's just those people that are just ready. Yeah. They're like, are they Batman? Are they fucking Christopher? I mean, he's always wearing a suit, but we're talking tux.

There's a lot of bits involved. Did Barney also do magic tricks? He did, yeah. Like, I'd imagine a puff of smoke and he's just in the tuxedo. With the headache medication. Yeah, on the train. You called? Exactly.

Yeah, okay. I don't know if he's Bruce Wayne or Superman or Batman or whatever, but I feel like some guys just have that ability to be tux ready at all times. Exactly. Yeah, okay. I don't know if he's Bruce Wayne or Superman or Batman or whatever, but I feel like some guys just have that ability to be tux ready at all times. Okay. Is Torbz that guy? I've never seen Torbz in a tux. I've seen him in a suit. Looks good in a suit. But never seen him, we've

never been, we've genuinely never been anywhere that required a tux. Where does require a tux though, you know? I don't know. Sometimes to get into Turok, you feel a little bit like you need attacks. Anyway, I've got to get love to – thank you for sharing that. That's so funny. I've got to get love to see it here from Leanne Fisher,

who shared that her daughter won a gold medal on vault and bronze on floor in her first ever gymnastics competition. Gymnastics is fucking hard. And we've got a picture here of Leanne's daughter. Doesn't she look so proud holding her little medals? She looks great with her fringe as well. She's taken a leaf out of Tony Lodge's book. Yeah, I've got no fringe today.

That's okay. Fringe and spirit. Fringe and spirit. I love to see that, Leanne. That's really cool. It's not only cool that your daughter did so well, but that you're so proud of her and that you wanted to share that. That's really awesome.

Thanks for sharing. We'll chat to you tomorrow. Thanks for hanging out with us today. Fucking love ya. Fucking love ya. Wish me luck today. Good luck at the day spa. Don't take a towel.

Do not, and I repeat, do not take a towel. Do not tell me what to do. And if you're one of those three blokes, do not, not suck me off. Can I tell you what to do again? Have fun. I will. I'm just scared because I'm just permanently tired that as soon as I lay on that massage table, I'm just going to get a tap on the shoulder and they'll go, sir, we're finished. Mr. Dunn?

Yeah. They can see parents coming a mile away. I reckon they do that to make money. They go, yeah, dad, book three back toback and we'll tell them it's been 45 minutes. Big spa scandal. They book three at the same time. Yeah. Lay down here.

Yeah. Okay, I'll just get started. Oh, he's asleep. Good. Get the next one in. Three at a time. Three banger. And they're pocketing the fees of the other two.

Big spa. I'll call Jessica Alba about that and let her know. Three dads suck each other off afterwards. Yeah. Hot. I just got to remind myself that I'm not going to a gay late night spa. I'll call Jessica Alba about that. Yeah. And let her know. Three dads suck each other off afterwards. Yeah. Hot. I just got to remind myself that I'm not going to a gay late night spa. Everywhere's gay if you try hard enough. Put that on a t-shirt.

Thank you very much. Have a great day, everyone. And let that be your motto for the next 24 hours. Everywhere can be gay if you try. Love you. See you later. Love you. Bye.