Toni and Ryan - Never Use TINDER at Family Christmas

Episode Date: December 15, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] Tinder Dad - Shoe Spraying Week - CHAAAAAARRLLLESSSSS - love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcasthttps://nordvpn.com/toniandryan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What would freak you out more? Finding out that your parents are swingers or finding out that your dad is cheating on your mum. My friend from uni every year is allowed to bring two friends to a massive family Christmas party. Me and another girl from uni walk in. Then the mum said, oh, this is my husband. Oh, I am literally speechless. Hi, I'm Abby from Cows on the on.

of white. My name is Yorker from Kentucky. I'm Taylor from Penrith, New South Wales, and I approve this podcast. into shitting and congratulations to all involved today you're wearing a beautiful Christmas sweater thank you it's a um this is the first one that I ever bought an OG oh Charles is just getting dressed um I'm the other one off I'm wearing a Christmas t-shirt that says seasons greetings and it's all a bunch of different seasonings that but the puns are so funny for example Santa Claus is cumin to town cayenne a winter wonderland that's very funny curry down the chimney tonight that's good Santa baby bay leaves Santa Bailey too fancy for us all right to be honest curry in a seasoning

thing is a controversial curry powder yeah yeah but like when I see common and bay leaves I'm yeah curry's like you make me coming and about time the most wonderful time of the I'm pretty stoked with this t-shirt. It's very good. I'm going to give it a solid fucking run for three weeks. How did you, where did you get it? Maya. Yeah, okay.

Ken G. Like Kenji. Kenji. Kenny G made it. It's Kenny G merch. He was mid-saxophone interlude. And he went, Santa baby. I get it.

Got it. No, Kenji at Meyer, that little section, you get a couple of fun ones in there. They're always a bit fun and do it. Why do you laugh and I say Maya? You're just such a sucker for a bargain bin. Yeah. And I love. Can you tell who's found one recently?

But like, I just love though that every time you come in with new clothes, I go, oh, where did you get that from? You go, oh, just the entrance at Maya. Oh, just the bin out the front of the cotton on. Oh, there's a $5 store out of the front of. That if you walk in, there's more stuff in there. And they, you know. I find just like we put our best foot forward.

Yeah. And our best host first in the title. Yeah. Places like this put their cheapest and best at the front door. So true. And when they say seasons greetings and it's about seasoning. Yeah. And it's on sale.

Don't you wish it. In my size. Yeah. So true. You got to take advantage of that. What I'm going to do? Walk past it and go into the store and see if I can find something better than perfection. Because there isn't one.

The only thing I wish it did say seasonings. readings. Maybe I should have walked in the store. They had the one behind it. You know, and they have like two things on one rack. Yeah. Or should I draw it on?

Can you cricket on the ings? I'll do it on my cricket. Yeah. Yeah. I will say I, we talked about my hair yesterday, but I am loving the length of your hair at the moment. I know you've said, I think I need to get it cut,

but I really think it looks really good. Can I be honest? Yeah. Extremely detailed behind the scenes. chat. Yeah. Usually, which I love.

Usually we'll hit record at like 10 a.m. Yeah. And then you go yesterday, I reckon we'll go 9.30 tomorrow. Yeah. The barber opens at 9. If we had done a 10 o'clock of recording, I would have had a shaved head today. Number two, straight over. Why?

Christmas edition. Christmas edition? Yeah. Why are you going to go shaved? Well, I usually do. And then it just grows out and it's not by choice. It's by lack of going to the barber. But normally a bit longer on the table.

longer on the top than you are on the sides yeah but it's getting i know i'm liking the shaved head um i both look good but i just think the link looks really nice when i say old videos of us and i've got like a big fucking mop i just go what was going on here as well it's good when it was up it was like when it was flopping but it but you never really did that oh i'm a flopper no but you normally put it was flopping no i don't think you do i normally just kind of does what i'll show you my flop maybe you just don't see it when it's flopped No, but in a video, though, normally you would put product in it before we record. Yep, but get a good look, sweetheart, because this might not be here after today.

It's just not true. I probably won't make it today. No. Also, I was trying to give you a compliment. Like, I was saying, like, I think it looks nice. I didn't disagree. I'm just going to cut it off. But you're like, no, it's this and that.

I'm just telling you all the thing it looks good. Thank you. You look great as far No, that's not Great jumper Is that the original? Why are you doing this? I've got a Christmas confession

that's throwing me. Seven siblings is a fucking lot of siblings, hey. You tell me about like growing up and you know, Jamie's off doing this and the siblings and I'm like... I mean, there's four of us. And there's four of you and I go,

fuck that sounds crazy and there's all sorts of shit going. And then I think seven, like who's had six and goes, something missing. You know what I mean? Who has one? And goes, let's do another fucking six.

Idiot. Six. Another six. Anonymous confession. My friend from uni is one of seven siblings in every year on the last Friday before Christmas, each sibling is allowed to bring two friends to a massive family Christmas party. I love that.

She told me it was chaos. They're swimming. It's a huge cookup. The neighbors wander in often because the younger siblings. the friends are younger, their parents will come along and say good day. And it's just like a fucking free-for-all. What did you say, the Friday before Christmas? Last Friday before Christmas.

I feel like that's fun as well because you go, oh, well, the Friday before Christmas, oh, the bloody, the Joneses are, they do their big thing. Yeah. Like, and everyone's like, if you, yeah, if you know that it's on, you know you're invited. Yeah. And you can just rock in. I love that. Me and another girl from uni walk in and immediately get hit with a wave of normal.

boys, people of every age introductions happening faster than my brain could process. Oh, my little brother, yeah, this is his mate from the footy club and fact, and you're, oh, nice to me, but, you know, like, it's just all going on. Yeah. I met the mum, some siblings, friends of siblings, all doing the polite. I have no idea who this is, but Merry Christmas smile. And I've forgotten your name already, yeah. It was overwhelming, but cute in a feral yet festive way.

I like that. Then the mum said, oh, this is. is my husband and introduced me to my friend's dad. Yep. That was the moment my soul left my body. Why? We matched on Tinder three days earlier. I don't mind an older man, said the Tapa, genuinely.

Like her, you know, age, things that... What I do mind is that A, he's my... friend's dad. B, he's very much married and C, he is nowhere near the 39 years old that he claimed to be on the app. Like, good for you, bro. You're not 39. Sorry, I'm not saying a thing.

I am literally speechless. That is crazy. I'm standing there holding a plate of prawns making direct eye. contact with a man I had swipe right on and he'd swip like, you know, that matched while his wife was offering me potato salad. A very merry Christmas to me, I guess. Oh. What are you doing?

Imagine if when I'd met Charles's mom we'd recently matched on Tinder. What, you and Charles's mom? Yeah. Like, imagine if I'm like, oh, yeah, meet your mom and I'm like, oh, my God. Oh. Do you not know, oh, we've met before. All right, let's play this from the angles. Uh-huh.

What do you reckon he's thinking when he sees her? Is he like the fucking jig is up? Well, you would have to, you'd be in a bit of shock, surely. Or do you just not, maybe he didn't recognize the tarpa or something? But immediately, are you like, should I tell my friend? Should I? And I'm like, is the friend going to be pissed because of the matchup? Or is she more pissed like, uh, dude, you're married to my mom?

Well, you're... Maybe they've got a fucking thing where he, you know, they hook up with people on the side and that's fine, maybe. Yeah, like, this is the other thing like... Have you just found out that your parents are swingers? But yeah, like, what if they've got an arrangement, then bringing the kid into that is also not very appropriate. Yeah. Like, telling your friend that then, you know... Because I think what's worse?

And this is not like... an ethical question but just like what would freak you out more finding out that your parents are swingers or finding out that your dad is cheating on your mom with a friend of yours from uni oh but just the concept that he's on tinder openly searching for what every searching for yeah yeah oh yes because his parameters are obviously fucking quite low as well this is the other thing sure yeah um fuck it's a lot of information to take on isn't it and she's standing the Holding the broad, doing all these maths in her mind. And there's a million things going on.

Because you want to talk to your friend, but like, if she doesn't know, I don't, like, do I want to be the one to fucking break that news? You know? You know, is that my place to fucking... Or do you wait until your mum's had a couple of Midori's fucking sprits? 17 Midori spritzes. But you know what I mean? Because that's what Mums do on Christmas isn't. It has a Madori.

Hey, Jeanette, what's some, what's some... Yeah. How are you feeling in your marriage? Yeah, there's a little garland. Oh, do you guys do you kind of like, you know? make some new friends what are you into shit like you know

yeah but like is you know like that neighbour is he really a neighbour or is he just like here to clean the pool you know what are you guys up to yeah I think in situations like this and I haven't been in this exact situation

but I have been in situations where you're at a party and you just go things have not planned gone as I have planned and usually the best option is to just get fucking hammered because you go

I don't know what to do what I will do is drink lots okay here's one example one time I went to a dress up party dressed as a sexy pirate and I only knew one guy I've told his book we rock up

I rock up with him his girlfriend's like way too drunk and he goes I've got to take her home sorry dude have a fun night leaves and I'm ages away from my house dressed as a slutty pirate and I don't know a single person and even the guy I went with was like

a guy who used to work with It's the guy's brother or something. Yeah, so it's not like, hey, ha. Oh, you're Dave's mate. Come on in. Yeah. They didn't even know him really either. Yeah.

And so I'm like, well, what am I going to do now? Yeah. I know what I'll do. Drink lots. Is that the night that you stood at like the punch bowl and you were like serving drinks and you were like, oh, hey, man, between me out. Well, everyone comes over to the punch bowl and I'm like, well, come to me, sweet-art. Hey, how you going?

What, who do you know? I'm fucking Kevin's cousin. Cool. Cool. Do you want to hang out? Peach Dackery? Yeah. I think at Christmas though

there's just so much going on you probably could sleep out like the like you just do the dip and you just you let that marinate elsewhere like you just not stay at the party and just kind of go like a good party it does sound like a good party yeah

and I mean who are you to deprive yourself of a sweet party because some other guy is fucking do you message him on Tinder that's a power play and go

if you don't tell your wife I will or you can give me three million dollars blackmail wow yeah you got

Christmas presents to buy it's a final before Christmas you've got to get down to Maya get yourself a Ken G seasoning shirt

get some Kenny G merch for Christmas you know you go blackmail You go, yeah, that ninja cream, you swirl in the box under the Christmas tree, that's mine. So you message him on Tinder and go, hey, bro. And you go, hey, I think we just met.

I'd hate to tell your wife about this. But here's my bank dates. I'm going to need $3 million. Now. Is it a photo of you with a gun or you just approach him with a gun in the... It's a picture of me just holding up gun fingers. So you're not like producing a real gun at the party. You can't send photos on Tinder.

That's for the best. It's the same on Patreon. People are like, oh, why can't you send photos? I'm like, it's for everyone's benefit. There'd be a couple of different guns been sent on Tinder, if you know what I'm saying. All right, so to sum it up, Ryan, Ryan is saying get drunk. Tony is saying extortion. Is that what I'm hearing?

Yeah, I think so. Are you team Tony or team Ryan? Charles, well, you seem actually like the most likely to get into this situation. You meet a young mama at a Christmas party. What do you do? When you said slip out before, I thought he meant like slip out with him. And like, that was what I thought. thought you were talking about.

Is that what you would do? This is what I'd say. You'd go, come and eat my prawn head, daddy-o. Prawn head is so upset. Yeah, sorry. We just said about the plate of prawns. Do you know what? I have not gotten any prawns this year.

Is that a metaphor? No, like, because it's Christmas time. Oh. Like, we didn't do prawns. Not like you didn't get a couple of prawn heads yourself on the weekend. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. No.

No, good. Actual prawns. Would you like some? Well, I just like some prons. I do. light prawns. Yeah, because you're an ocean girl. I'll organize something.

And you know I'm great at promising things. Yeah. Here's a third. I know you're great at promising stuff. Hey, Charles, can you please? Yeah. Well, 2020 Thrive was about delegation. So here's a third option.

Yep. You go up to the dad, which is sort of where Charles is here. she goes up to the dad and goes the tapar yeah yeah and goes hey we matched on tinder the other night we can keep messaging on tinder or we could fucking do it right now

like why are we wasting time in the app I'm right here and then film it show him and then ask for the money I've been watching a show about blackmailing what have you been watching do you know what show I'm actually stayed up late finishing the Kim Kardashian lawyer movie

No, that's been fucking pan, hasn't it? That Ryan Murphy show. No, I stayed up late watching a show for the first time in ages. That was actually worth it. That show on binge called All Her Fault with Sarah Snook in it. And like the first scene of the... Oh, the child and the... The first scene of it is her going to pick up her kid from a play date

and the woman's like, there's no kids here. Like, have you got the wrong address? And her son's missing. It's amazing. It's really, really... best show I've watched in ages. Really? Is it an Australian or just has Sarah Snook in it?

It's mostly an Australian cast. It was filmed. 90% of it was filmed in Melbourne, but it's an American show. Where are they pretending it's filmed? Chicago. And there's a like a scene of Dakota fanning like walking to work and she's walking past the bean in Chicago. I'm like, oh, well, you got that three years later.

You know what I mean? It's like CGI'd in. CGI'd the Bean in. Fed Square. Yeah. Yeah, I think that, yeah, fuck the dad. It's Christmas. Like, sex or money?

Both. Park in the last night. Hi, I'm Abby from Cows on the Isle of Wight. Hi, I'm Yorker from Kentucky. I'm Taylor from Penrith, New South Wales. Oh, listening to Tony and Ryan. Welcome back to the show. devastating news has just occurred in this june what devastating news

charles did a wee he didn't fart this time good on you oh do we not do about the fart on the show okay sorry and we're respecting his we can we can start again yeah sorry nah no no take it out no they can stay in i got tony some burke and stocks yeah that not these ones not the oh you didn't buy me these you bought me like Arizona ones. These ones I bought in London, remember, when I fucked my feet up at Taylor Swifed.

Jeez, your fate have just had a fucking... Oh, they've had a fucking year. Do you don't, like, yeah, crazy. The crazy news is that Tony's getting around in Birkenstocks and she hasn't sprayed them. Like, with Scotch Guard, is that what you mean? Well, like, to protect the material. It's, I think it's all good. Because I got some Birks the other day and I went to put them on a bridge.

Like, you wouldn't fucking wear those without spraying them first, would you? And I was like, oh, I'm on. What a nerd. And then I also got some shoes and like they've sat in the cupboard for three months because you have to fucking spray them. Well, just spray them then. Well, I had to go into the shop to get the spray. They normally sell it at bets and bets when you buy school shoes. So I went to platypus.

Platypus? Yeah. Nice. And they go, oh, you get the can't for 20 bucks, but for 24 you can get the can and a fuck ton of socks. You got to do the socks. So I guess it's just going to be rain and new socks all summer. Yeah. I think the platypus socks are okay as well.

Like they last Yeah, they look good Yeah Would you, because I've got a fresh can Would you like me to spray your burks Because if you get If you splash them

I mean you can if you want But I just Yeah yeah no bring them in tomorrow And I'll bring the can I That's a really I feel like that's something That's something that normally I would care about

And you're like who fucking care Like that's such a weird thing For you to care about No no I didn't care until three days ago Oh and that's your new thing Well, I've bought the can. Now you're a dad.

You care about stuff. It's like I've... You didn't care about stuff before. I bought the can the other day and it's like you buy this whole massive can and you go, cool. What am I going to do the rest of it? Well, this is... So, because I hate wasting stuff, like wasting food.

And I'm like, well, what am I going to do with the rest of the can? It's huge. I've made the $24 investment. I've got the socks. Yeah. Who needs a spraying? And then I, and then fucking twinkle toes Tony. fucking rolls in

and I'll go Oh, who does she think she is? When I got a 98% full full canon home? We're just a match made in heaven. Bring them in tomorrow. Okay. I'll spray him.

You get another newspaper? It's just, what? No. I'm 32, not born in 1932. I don't have a fucking newspaper. I'll go get a newspaper. What is happening? Because you put the newspaper down.

Can I just say that if I can, No, I need some backup here. If I brought this up, you would roast me like a fucking pig for caring about spraying shoes, don't you reckon? This was one week ago. Ken, if I brought this up, you would go, oh, who fucking gives me? You fucking shoes. Oh, you just care about too much stuff.

Imagine, just don't give a fuck. You would fucking end you. Remember when Charles said that yesterday and I backed you up? You would end me, if I talked about sprain shoes. Admit it. next year admit it I need you to

I need you to say that you know before buying the can who's to say you were even if I bought the can you would fucking rinse me we are living in a post can purchase era and just to show you

how incredible the world of spraying shoes is next week we're sorry next year let's do like I'm so lost Let's do like a whole week of shoe spraying content.

Like a, this is like a shoe spraying week. Well, you've just started your new TikTok. You could do that independently if you want. No, I'll bring it in. That's how confident I am. Great. And it sounds like you need it. So you know how like every year will be like, oh, this week we're giving clues to where the party is?

For our birthday party. So it's like a week long thing. I reckon late Jan shoe spray. week. In fact, tarpers, bring your shoes too. I got a whole can.

If that can is not empty by February. That's a good goal. That's a waste. That's a good goal for the... But it has to be sprayed onto shoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

you can't just be spraying it willy-nilly. Yeah, that's bad for the ozone layer. Because that would be a waste. So true. Yeah. I'm glad we've got this cleared up.

Thank God. All right. On the sixth day of Christmas, That's my true love said to me. Victoria Rosembourg, Emily Johnson, Liv, M. Lauren Rubino, Christopher Goldman, Jerry Lee. Morgan Deppert, Jay, Dylan, Craig, Leah. We talk, Mama, Hibu, and a part tree, jitipetri.

They're all getting their shoes sprayed. We can't legally promise that. Okay. Just like that everybody that just read that. Asteris, maybe not. Now, I didn't realize that I would be coming off the back of shoe spraying week. So I didn't know that this would be the second most exciting thing we talked about today. Yeah.

But if you can cast your mind back to when we hadn't learned about shoe spraying week. It's hard to. It is because you just can't. It was a post-shoe spray era. It is. It is. But we need to see if we can cast our mind back. Okay.

Before learning about shoe spraying week, what would your answer be to? to what is the most thrilling thing that can happen. And I wish I was joking. That is literally the way that I was going to talk about this. And we need... You're right to ask the risky, because all I'm thinking about is... shoe spray and shoe spray week. Okay, what is the most thrilling...

Hey, and say it again, say it again. What is the most thrilling thing that can happen in the car? In the car. Yep. And you think about... Before I knew in the car, I was going to say, if it was just like, what's the most thrilling thing? I'd be like...

Shoe spraying wets. Where's... Next. Nah, my first thought was like getting Hollandea sauce where you, when you don't expect it. Oh, that is good. That is thrilling. That is good. All right.

But in the car, I mean, be pretty thrilling to get to Hollandeys in the car. You know what? I'm on the record with my thoughts and stance on Hollandeau. But in the car is not the place because it's a fucking nightmare. Because you want to enjoy it. Yeah. And heaven forbid, you spilled some on your shoe. Yeah. pre-sprit spray shoes spray

mate if you put hollandaise on those things throw them in the bin yeah start a game most thrilling thing in a car and I have said that I think this is the most exciting thing that can happen oh going in a car wash no no no no

oh how many thrilling things can you do in a year okay when I tell you the answer you're going to she yourself well I'm not near those shoes we're in a pre-sprushé era One of the most thrilling things that can happen in the car is that you see someone else that you know in traffic. So true.

It is so exciting. So true. You're driving and you go, God, I think that's Ryan's car. Yeah. You pull up and it is. Huge. And you go, ah! Oh!

It's so exciting. It's like the most thrilling thing ever. I absolutely love it. I did that to Lily the other day in the car park here at work. Oh. And I still think that's pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty good. It's not as good as complete while, but still pretty good.

Well, the other day I got to work and you were downstairs like getting something out of your car. And you went, oh, and I went, like, what are the odds? Yeah, it's very good. Yeah. Anyway, I've said that on the record before. I absolutely love it. It's one of my most exciting things that can happen. You flashed your tits at Torbs.

On the Preston Market. At the Preston Market. Intersection. Intersection. Not in the market. Didn't flash my boobs. Oh, heaven forbid. Well.

You, you, I think that it's like, Who ordered two breasts? In the, oh, that was a new laugh we haven't heard from John before. What was that? Well, he lives near the Preston markets now. He thought about the breast and he thought, well, well, what's funny that you say Charles's moved, because he has moved and he is now equidistant between, like, he lives here and he lives exactly 11 minutes from me.

Sorry, did you choose a big word? Equidistant. He lives exactly 11 minutes from me and exactly 11 minutes from Lily. Hang on, I'm going to need a moment with equidistance. It's pretty good, isn't it? Is that like distance but in Ecuador? No, equidistant. It's like equal distance between...

Oh. Yeah. So... Oh. Okay. Like a triangle, would that be equidistant from each of its sides? Would depending on what type of... If it's a nososceli or whatever the fucking...

Yeah, equilateral triangle you would be, yeah. Equid... You like that? That's more than six. The more where that came from, big boy? That's more than six letters. You're going to suck your cock. I'll be equidistant from your fucking you coming.

Anyway, you're going to be equit. You can't just throw words with more than six letters at me and expect us just to cruise on through. All right. Do you want me to Google the official definition of equidistant? I mean, equa and distance. The last thing that I googled was. Oh, let's play this game altogether.

The last thing that I googled was how to pass bronze medallion, W.A. Because I was telling Torbs about. when I got my bronze this morning while we were eating breakfast Charles, what's the last thing you Googled? UPS because I've seen where my package is going to come. So fair. Who was the creative agency

that designed the menus at the bowling alley in Preston? At the keys. Hey, if you're listening, let us know. Oh, we found them yesterday. The official meaning of equidistant at equal distances. Okay, so you... The line joins together all points,

which are equidistant, equidistant from the two axes. So Charles is equidistant from you and Lil because you're both the equal distance from Charles. From him, yeah. Anyway, and so I, so he's recently moved and he doesn't leave far away. Like we mentioned on the show,

yes, they never been any by that over. So I don't know where he really lives, but I know roughly. I know the road and stuff. It's near Kate and Cheryl's, exactly. Anyway, yesterday, we'd like been in the office in the morning and we kind of chatted. We all like, we're like, yeah,

we're going to. to work from home for the arbo i had to go pick some stuff from the fucking australia post and whatever anyway i realized as i hop in the car it's 3 30 it's fucking school time school's knocked off there's youths everywhere it's busy like there's so much traffic and um and i've go through like three school zones to get back home just a family gal And yeah, yeah, oh, hi, everyone, how are you going? I do, you know, the lollipop lady, Judy on the way back. What was that thing when I was driving in a car in front of you

and we were yelling at each other on the street and we didn't realize that we went past the school bus stop? Yeah, I said, do you want me to suck your dick or something? Yeah, you're in the van. In the van. And then those girls at the bus stop and went, oh, oh, yeah, it was right near the chemist warehouse. They were sex positive.

They were like, oh, good on those old people. Those old people. Anyway, so I'm like fucking stuck in traffic crawling down the road. And I'm like, oh my God. I'm on Charles Street. Yeah. And I'm like, looking around, I'm like, oh, no, don't think that's it. I'm like crawl down a little bit further ago.

No, don't think that's it. Gatay Kate and Shells. Yeah, get out of Kate and Shelts. Come in for a cupper. you don't have any shoe spray do you um and i'm just like crawling along and then i kind of see this house and i go that looks kind of familiar and i see and i'm like oh i think that's charles's car around the back and i see that the balcony door is open oh and i'm stuck in traffic I wind down my window

and I go Charles Nothing I go I'm pretty sure Charles Not nothing And I'm still stuck in traffic

I'm just sat there Any other cars looking around or Quite a lot of traffic Yeah I go I give it one more talk Fuck it now Charles

the traffic starts to move and I go it's obviously the wrong house like it's obviously not where he fucking lives because heaven forbid because that must be the only reason he hasn't if I heard someone screaming that at the front of my house the one thing I'm not doing is go out there pop out of the front yeah as the traffic starts to move yeah they're sliding door rips open no Charles pokes his head out and he goes like this and I'm like this out it was the most exciting thing that has ever happened and then my phone do do do do do do do do my phone yeah my yeah oh my god I've just said it was so exciting and I go oh I yelled out a couple of times Charles goes I heard the first one yeah and I go

oh no like I must be hearing a mirage I'm hearing that that chick for works voice again who's that girl i've heard on the internet and he goes then i heard it a second time i go well i mustn't be hearing like i'm obviously not hearing things now five and then i put the rip on the fron the froncad balcony door did you have to go upstairs there yeah i was like in my office yeah that's i was like who's saying my name okay so first of all i yelled so loud as well like it was the most impressive yell i want to rank this out of a hundred in terms of like crazy coincidences. Yep.

Zero being like, and 100 being like, you're fucking shit in me. I think 100. So here's the thing. When you're both in the car, they're both moving objects. No, totally.

So like, of all the places you could be, we both happen to be at the same place. That's insane. Yes. Here's where the coincidence falls flat slightly. Yep. Charles House is stationary. but I didn't know where it was.

Did you know what street it was on? Yeah, I knew the street. Did you know about where it was? Kind of no, because I've yelled at a different point on the road before. And I said, I'm at the traffic lights and Charles said, I don't live near the traffic lights. And I said, well, I've yelled at the wrong house. Okay. That'll get it over 20.

That's getting it up, I think. But also, it's a busy road and, like, you have to be, like, the traffic has to be stopped. You don't normally get stopped there because there isn't any lights. There's no speed limit on that road. 70. Is it? And I was doing zero. And I was also two lanes.

I was on the other side. Oh shit. I was on the, like I was far. You were going to your place. Yes. So I was traveling home. Yeah. And then I yelled from like six lines of traffic.

That is crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. With Sherles and Kate there. They weren't there. I yelled out to them as well on the other side of the road. Imagine you yelling their name, they walk out on the bell.

you go. Have you got the wrong place? No, Charles's is down the road. He's further down. We get this all the time. So I didn't know where I think pretty good. I'd say that's in the 70s or 80s. I'd say like 8590. Yeah. Oh, wow. And what it was, it was just unplanned and just the most thrilling thing. It really, it really judged me up. I had a great time. Yeah. And then how long would you say that rush lasted?

Oh my God. We talked on the five blood. minutes after and we were like, how crazy it was that! I remember that time. I was like, I said, Charles, and he had on the window. Exactly like that. It was really exciting. That's huge. Yeah.

All right. I've got a challenge for people listening to the podcast today. Find Charles's house. Or watching on YouTube. Can you in the comments of the episode thread or YouTube? Yeah. Name something. It has to be more.

thrilling than that, but only by a little bit. Oh, only just a bit more thrilling. Yeah. And then what will we? I would just like to compare notes. Just to get a gauge of where people think we're at. Yeah, because I agree. That's pretty high.

Or, no, actually, maybe not just about at a similar level of thrillness. Yes. So that people can get a gauge of, yeah, where we're at. Equidistant thrill. If it's equidistant included, bonus points, but it's not required. Not required. But isn't that the most exciting thing you've ever heard? That is so exciting.

I can't do this. You love to see it because it is not the time. Okay. All right. Let me see. Oh, I've got a really good. You love to see it from Tapa Liana. Are you happy for me to play something for us?

Please. Okay. My you love to see it is a beautiful musical treat from Tapa Liana MacArthur. A musical treat. So, Leanna and I have been chatting on Patreon. And she said, look, I wanted to send something through. Let me know if you like, like it or want to listen to it or whatever.

I have rewritten a tarp version of a few of my favorite things. You know that song from Sound of Music? And hear a few of my favorite things. But a Tony and Ryan version. Oh, fuck yeah. And Leanna has written the words. She's playing the music and she's singing in this. Triple threat.

Are we ready? This might be more thrilling than the car. Just saying. Tony and Ryan and Pippa and B.J. Lily and Charles and Sophie on some days. All of the tarpers, the friendship they bring. These are a few of my favorite things. A trip to the car wash with a McFlurry.

points and Suzuki chimneys crafting and swimming and diamond rings these are a few of my favorite things normal or gna in all of its forms confessions from all over

the world coincidence chat and fun facts these are a few of my favorite laughs Endless admin, cost of living, when I'm feeling sad. I simply click play on Tony and Ryan, and then I don't feel so bad. You'd love to see it.

I have got goosebumps from my forehead to my father. Amazing, Leanna. Isn't that so good? That is unbelievable. Isn't it? Isn't it so good? I didn't know she was just an undercover talented fucking superstar. Literally like audition for the voice.

I'll just, you know, just mucking around on the keys a little bit. Yeah, I'll just, you know, love to have a bit of fun. Oh, throw a couple lines out there, you know, sure. Isn't that so good? Can that be my love to see it as well? Yeah, we can share. Because what a beautiful moment. Good.

And I just think that today's episode has been so excited. Same. We're extorting a hot dad. I saw Charles's house. Wasn't allowed in. That's okay. And Leanna's song. Huge news.

I just pitched the world's greatest idea and Tony said no. Well, it was the world's greatest idea. We'd been doing it. Like shoe spray wig. Beep. When you did it, this has been the greatest episode ever and then did a quick run down. That wasn't in the highlights. Was that?

Yeah. that is a Jane yeah but there was no shoe chat in that do you want to go again or are you feeling comfortable where you're at I feel really comfortable

I'm talking in the calendar for next year it's in the calendar thank God not in the calendars that people got but and that's a narrow

yeah well we didn't know maybe for 2027 in the calendar you can't rush up but you can brush it you can spray shoes yeah maybe because you're supposed

to do it once a month maybe maybe we should put similar to are you really Pippa's Worming Tablet in the 2027 calendars we should put like Oh don't forget to spray your shoes

A lot of good feed up about Piper's worming tablet being in the calendar Yeah Oh I've got some statistics about the calendar to share this week Oh yeah And you'll be surprised Oh not now No no not now

Not now Not now Put me through Statistics chat As a data girl I love it Well tomorrow on the show I actually can't remember all of them

but Charles is going to remind us what our ins and outs were for 2025 Yes So we'll see how that's landed As I looked at, do we have that ready, yeah we do And I just as a Are you surprised

Do you think we're going to be happy or not? Yeah There was a few and I was like, yep, did that And then there was a few A few We're only at two each Okay, all right Well we'll talk about

Is that tomorrow? That's tomorrow. Hell yeah, nice. Love you so much. And thank you, Tiliana, for sharing that. That's really amazing. Sharing it. Yeah.

Performing it. Yeah. Riding in it. Being a fucking legend all around in it. Yeah. Very good. Great. You love to see it from us.

I'll join. You love to see it. Love you. Bye you.