Toni and Ryan - Our first kiss 💋

Episode Date: February 1, 2022

The best normal or nah ever, plus we learn which room the bath should go in, and all about a sexy first kiss. Love ya! T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Hello? Ariana! Hi! Would you like to approve the Tony and Ryan podcast?

I would love to. I'm like sitting here panicking and I'm like, I'm not going to call anybody. Hi, this is Ariana and I am approving the podcast from Taylor's Old Utah. I don't know if we've mentioned this on a previous podcast. Do people in other places around the world call Wednesday hump day or is that like an Australian thing? We definitely have mentioned it. Do we get an answer?

I don't think so. It must be then an only Australian thing. Happy hump day. Happy hump day. Welcome to a Wednesday edition of the Tony and Ryan podcast. I worked on a radio show once where the host would always say happy hump day and, like, the boss fucking hated it. Really?

And every time they said happy hump day, they'd be like, cut it out. Cut it out of the show. Really? Yeah, they hated it so much. Was it in this building? No. Okay. like, cut it out. Cut it out of the show. Really? Yeah. They hated it so much. Was it in this building? No. Okay. No, it wasn't.

Happy hump day. Happy hump day. To everyone. No, it was a long time ago, actually, back in early radio days. And on a Wednesday, actually, coming up in this episode. Yeah. I want to talk about love at first sight. The show.

Oh, no, that's married at first sight. No, I mean the thing as in when you see someone for the first time, do you know? Or a sandwich when you see it and you just go, fuck, that's going to be good. That's not what I was getting at, but that does not surprise me that that's where you took it. Yep, you can tell it's almost lunchtime.

Yeah, I mean, we could order Uber Eats. Should we? We could. Okay. Let's hurry up. Sorry, I just got a text from Telstra. My bill's available. Don't you hate that?

How much is your phone bill a month? Oh, don't fucking get me started. Mine's so fucking expensive. It's fucked. Yeah. I reckon, and this is going to make people throw up, I reckon my phone bill is about $170 a month. Oh, mate, you're not even trying.

Oh. Does that include internet at your house? Oh, no. Our internet's like 69 bucks a month. So that's just your phone? That's just my fucking phone. Change your plan. You're an idiot.

Mate, I know. It's because I'm with Telstra. But I've had the same phone number for like 20 years. Get a better deal. You don't need to change your number. What? You don't need to change your number. Just get a better deal.

How do you do that? You call them and go, motherfuckers, I'm paying you $170 a month. I'm done. How much is your phone bill? I think it's like $200, but that's for me and Bridget and the phone and the home internet. Oh, nah. Ours is fucked.

Yeah, you just call them up and change. You don't even change your number. Oh, no, but you know when you shop around, like admin, like I can't be fucked? This is not going to go well for me online, is it? Why don't you get one of your finance team to have a look into that? Oh, fuck off. Maybe I should.

Should we get a personal assistant? No. Should we get a producer? No. That deals with my phone bill, et cetera? I've got a question about a producer because someone has offered themselves up. Oh. Well, that sounds a bit aggressive.

It's like a family member of an important person. Hamish and Zoe Foster Blake's daughter, Rudy. She's like four years old. Yeah, because she'll fit in with the intellect of the show. I know, but that's definitely an off-air chat. Okay. Yeah, let's pick this up later and I'll deal with my phone bill. Right now, normal or nah?

Okay, so normal or nah is where we talk about, you know, a hot-button topic people might send in and you just ask if it's normal or if it's not. More off-air chat. I don't reckon you need to explain it. Oh, I just thought that was cute. Yeah. You fucking set up what the tarp means 100 times this week.

That was for Kate and Smitten journey fucking. Jink and fucking Louise Mary, Queen of the Scots, yeah. I just reckon the segment's so well named. It is. And I'm fucked off because you've just called me out but then you gave me a compliment because I named the segment. You did. What was the other one? Fun or fucked. Fun fun or fucked but that was too rude because then we

knew we couldn't put it online okay anyway normal or nah self-explanatory this one's from Sam Clark brushing your teeth in the shower normal or nah clearly a fucking nah that That's gross. So this normal or nah came up in our Facebook group and I thought, oh, that's such an easy one. What did you say? Normal. This explains everything about you. Okay, well, I text you and I was like, hey, do you brush your teeth in the shower?

And you went, fuck no, and I went, great, save it for tomorrow. So I think it's super normal. Like I always brush my teeth in the shower. Always. Always. Really? And because I shower at night, so I'll be in the shower before I go to bed and I'll brush my teeth for the day to go to bed.

Yeah. But then in the morning I also, I have a toothbrush in the shower and I have a toothbrush, floss a toothbrush in the shower and I have a toothbrush, floss and toothpaste in the shower. Floss in the shower? And I have a toothbrush, floss and toothpaste on the sink as well. I've got two setups. Do you ever use one at the sink though?

In the morning. But also I shower at night, Torb showers in the morning. So he'll use one in the shower in the morning and I'll use one at the sink and then at night time. Are you sharing toothbrushes? Like an electric toothbrush, how it's got different heads. Oh, okay, gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Electric toothbrush. Fuck, you're living such a different life. We've got two electric toothbrushes because it's just, I like it. I like to know that I don't have to take the shower toothbrush out and put it on the thing. Now, I was thinking about this and I know why you're an idiot and you like to use your toothbrush in the shower and allow me to explain. Why?

What flavour don't you like? No comment. Mint. I hate mint. It makes me sick. So what do you use on toothpaste? Because all toothpastes are like a spearmint, peppermint, spearmint, dry mint.

Yeah, and they've always got the, like, fresh taste and nuts, like the menthol, and I don't like that. So what do you have instead? Until very recently I used children's toothpaste. Which is what flavour? Like bubble berry or fucking, like, some made-up thing. Bubble berry? Like there's a Colgate some made-up thing. Bubble berry? Like there's a Colgate kid's toothbrush and it's got glitter in it.

Like it's fucking. Oh, I'm all about that. It's not doing you any good though. No, it's really not. So until recently I used that, probably until about two years ago, and I've eased onto a very mild mint toothpaste. It's a Colgate one, the gold tube. So it's minty but it's not like not like I can't use mouthwash or anything.

So here's my theory. Uh-huh. The best thing for normal people. Okay, sorry. About brushing your teeth is that cold, cool, fresh feel. That actually makes me feel physically. And a part of the cool, fresh feel is the mint of the toothbrush followed up by the cold water that you rinse your mouth with

and spit it out. When you're in the shower, are you going to tell me you're rinsing your mouth with warm water? Oh, I've got something else to tell you that you're going to fucking hate. What? I always shower cold. I'm okay with that. I literally never have a hot shower.

Okay. Well, this has just really derailed my theory here. Sorry. I was really on my high horse. Sorry, let's go back. Let's go back. Oh, so you fucking. Oh, yuck.

Because I was going to say the fact you don't like mint means you don't like the cool mouth. I don't. And that's why maybe having them. That's a good theory. See what I'm saying though? I actually just like it because I don't have to worry about toothpaste going on my clothes. Wow, here's the next part. Because how good's that?

Between the two of us, actually between me and just any other random human on this earth, who's more likely to have a dirty T-shirt? I got in your car this morning and you were like, oh, we're wearing the same outfit. And I was like, yeah, except I decided to wear jeans that didn't have a stain on them. What was that stain?

I don't know. It's like looks all good. I think it's food or something. Oh, there, yeah, that's. Looks like maybe curry. Like it's like a dark red. Like tomato sauce. Yeah.

I would rather, clearly as evidenced by my everyday life, leave the house with the toothpaste stain than brush my teeth in the shower. But brushing your teeth in the shower is really nice because it's just like, it's nice, it's relaxing and you're kind of like standing under the water so you kind of like do it for a bit longer and because I have to clean my Invisalign as well, so I'll like brush my teeth and then I'll like brush and clean my Invisalign as well, so I'll, like, brush my teeth and then I'll, like, brush and clean my Invisalign aligners as well because they get real stinky and gross.

What was the... Maybe we should have done it as a poll. TMI. Maybe we should have done it as a poll. Was there a vibe of, like, what the tarpers were saying? Okay, so this post, I could not fucking believe it, 437 comments... What?

..on Sam's post. Like, amazing. And to be honest, the majority was normal. Saying it's normal to brush your teeth in the shower. Yeah, and even the people that said nah kind of said, look, it's normal, but nah, I don't do it. Okay. I was going to get all high and mighty about me

and we know about some of my exploits. Oh, yeah, that you shit on towels. We shouldn't be fucking listening to you. Do you think I'm the one to be like, okay, let me teach everyone about hygiene in the bar? About hygiene. Sorry. Come on, man.

You're better than that. You're better than that. Well, there was a comment on there that it was like, oh, I would never, and this made me fucking laugh. There was a comment and it was like, I would never leave my toothbrush in the shower. I don't think it's good to leave them in a damp room, a damp area. And someone was like, oh, as opposed to the fucking sink.

Bathroom? Like, it's in the bathroom anyway. Like, it doesn't fucking matter. So, remember how I bought Bridget that, like, portable bath? Oh, yeah, off Amazon. It's like it folds up. It folds up. It's basically for people who live in little apartments

or whatever who don't have a bath. My wife, Bridget, loves a bath. Loves a bath. And so one thing missing from her life right now is a bath. So I bought this like portable. It's like a blow-up one sort of. It's weird. And so we were going to set it up in the courtyard and we're like, yeah,

you know, our courtyard's looking great with all the outdoor plants. We can have like a wine at the bar. Yeah, it will be lovely. Wow. Must be big. Actually, we haven't taken it out of the box yet, so I couldn't tell you. No, the courtyard.

Well, it's not as big as yours. It's the second biggest. It's the smallest courtyard of the Tony and Ryan podcast. So we're like, oh, we'll do it in the courtyard. But then we were trying to think of the logistics of how do we get the hot water out there. And then we're like, oh, we'll do it in the courtyard. But then we were trying to think of logistics of how do we get the hot water out there. And then we're like, oh, yeah, that might be a pain. The kettle, I mean. But how many kettles does it take to fill the bath?

Trust me, we tried to do the math. It's a lot. Then we're like, maybe the lounge room. Oh, but we forget water everywhere. And then I was like, oh, maybe we'll just do it in the bathroom. And then we're like, oh, is that a bit gross? Because the bathroom, it's disgusting, blah, blah, blah. It's a fucking bathroom.

And then I was like, if we had a bath, which room would it be? The bath room. We had a 10-minute conversation before we realised that's where they all go because we're like, that would be disgusting. That's where you clean yourself. What the fuck? I know. So we, for 10 minutes, had this conversation and then I was like,

you know if we, like, had a real bath, it would be in the bathroom. Yeah, you know the title is a fucking dead giveaway. If only there was some sort of clue about what room to put the bath in. Oh, God, what room does it go in? If I had a bath and it needs to go into a room, fuck me. God, yeah, kitchen? So we literally had this conversation, and then we realised how dumb we were.

Oh, my God. So to answer that girl's question, is it gross to leave it in a wet place? I reckon anywhere in the bathroom is going to be pretty damp, mate. That's my thought. Now, I've got a word of warning. Oh. For people like you. Me?

Yep. Who have a toothbrush in the shower. Yeah. And I don't know if this is going to be worse than the towel. Oh, is it fucked? What is it? Don't. What is it?

Don't. What is it? What? Bridget mentioned the other day. Let's all remember that the majority of people online also said it was normal. It's not just me. Oh, no, I think this is something that I'm nervous about. Oh, okay.

And if you regularly... Let me just... Okay, sorry. I'm fucking nervous. I'm thrown by the bathroom. I'm stressed. Yep. Bridget cleans the bathroom in our house. That's her.

We've got our certain jobs to do each week. And she does all of them. They're divvied up. Into Bridget's column. And some into mine. What? What do you do? I vacuum.

I unstack the dishwasher. I do the dishes every night after dinner. That is true. You do do that. I take the dog for a walk twice a day. That's my job. Bridget, you know, it's not a chore because she loves the dog, but that's like my thing to do. I clean the dog poops. Oh a day. That's my job. It's not a chore because she loves the dog, but that's my thing to do.

I clean the dog poops. Oh, nice. Thank you. This is so embarrassing. What? She's like, you know that toothbrush we use for cleaning the shower? Yeah. No. yes.

Is there a label on it that says that this is the cleaning one? She's like, no, it's just like a regular toothbrush. But, you know, it's the one we use for cleaning. Do you reckon in the six or seven years we've lived together, you probably should have brought this up before now? So is it the one that you've been using? Well, when you say the one, for me you just grab a toothbrush and brush your teeth. Oh, I don't.

Our toothbrush heads are like different colours. Which colour are you? I have the coloured one. So one of them has blue on it, one of them has yellow on it, and there are two that don't have anything on them. Torbz has the ones that don't have anything on them. So you've got a system. Yes.

And it sounds like you don't. I mean, you don't even know where the fucking bathroom is. So I just want to let everyone know that if you are, in fact, using a toothbrush in the shower, just make sure it's a toothbrush for your teeth and not the one to clean the bottom where the hair goes down and get all the gunk out of the things and heaven forbid what other things go into the...

That's fucked. I hate that. Normal or not? Using the cleaning thing to brush your teeth. I'm shaken up by that. I was going to talk about how Torbs is obsessed with his teeth at the moment and then I had a a little joke about like how great it is that he's obsessed with his teeth and not like meth or another woman,

but this is different. I reckon in hindsight we should have gone with that because that's really funny and mine's awful. This is Ariana from Utah and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Tomorrow on the show. Tomorrow, Friday, Thursday. Inglourious Bastards. Yeah, fucking start watching now so that by the time this episode comes out tomorrow,

it's fucking finished. Also, Tony and I have started a new, well, we don't start businesses because that's not who we are. We don't have a business. But we've started a marketing agency that comes up with slogans for towns. We're a travel department. Travel department of the marketing agency. And there's some awkward towns from around the world that people have told us about. And we've created some slogans for them.

Yeah, I'm really excited about the pay bump that comes with working in marketing. I assume that people in marketing get paid a lot. Do you? Don't they? Well, we'll find out tomorrow as we drive out of here in our Porsches. And a big thank you to Justin Duncan, Brittany Stephens, Lee Kelly-Rapley and Donnie, a couple of champion tapas

from our Patreon. If you want to check it out, patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan. Do you believe in love at first sight? The first time I ever saw my now wife, Bridget, she was beautiful. She was funny. At 26, she'd just bought a house on her own and she had this great job. And I was like, as well as physically, like, she's hot, I was also, like, really impressed by her.

Yeah. And love it, like, within minutes I was like, something's up here. That's nice. And now we're married. The first time I ever laid my eyes on Tony Lodge. I told you that I had a pimple on my vagina. So, yeah, I do believe in love at first sight. That's true.

I was like, hi, nice to meet you. How are you? And you're like, oh, I'm a bit uncomfortable. There's a pimple on my vagina. I was like, oh, righto. What was your name again? Remind me to never hang out with you. Shit, I can't believe that.

When was the first time you laid your eyes on the heir to the Toblerone fortune, Alex Toblerone? So we were going to uni together and I was above him, like I was the year above him. Oh, not like on top. No, not yet. And I remember him walking in and he was wearing a long-sleeved, thick cotton button-up that had elephants all over it.

And I said, I like that shirt. It's really cool. And he said, yeah. And that was the first conversation we ever had. That sounds probably more talkative than Torbs is not. Yeah, loud for Torbs. So you made the first move with a little compliment. Oh, well, because we were just at uni together and I was like, oh.

And then he said that he lived with another guy that I'd been to uni with previously and we were chatting or whatever. Like it was boring as fuck. Like it wasn't, there wasn't like sparks or anything. But it was as we got to know each other that I was like, oh, you're great. And we just like really had fun together. So when did it go from he's just some guy at uni who's nice

to like I think there's something here? Was there a moment? Did something happen? We just started chatting just more and more. Like I remember the first time we ever kissed. What happened? I don't want to talk about it, actually. Why not?

What happened? Oh, it wasn't bad. We were... Was it good? Yeah. Okay, because it wasn't bad. No, no, no. I mean, the situation wasn't bad.

We were at a party and... I don't think this is where you were planning on this going. No, this is perfect. We... Why are you embarrassed? What is happening? No, it's making me giggly because I'm thinking about the time.

Because you're so in love. I love you. How cute. At the university that I went to, we were in, we studied sound. Ten people get accepted every year, so it's a very, very small cohort. So you know everyone else. So there's three years, first year, second year, third year,

so altogether there's 30 people. You know everybody across all the years very well. It's not like those colleges where there's thousands of people and whatever. No, no. Everyone knows everyone. And the other departments that are kind of around you, there was this thing where you'd be working so closely

and it was like if you had sex with somebody else that went to our university, you had to buy a cake. And, like, it was just like, oh, if you get to fuck someone, we should get something out of it. Like, it's just stupid. Yeah, it is. But if you fucked somebody in sound, you had to buy an ice cream cake because it's yummier and more expensive.

Is this where you first found your love for the M&M ice cream cake? It all comes full circle. This is just a beautiful coincidence. No pun intended. And so we didn't want anybody to know that we were, like, chatting and kind of getting cute. Because you didn't want to buy any cakes. Yeah, we didn't have any money.

I was a student. Money for cake for someone else. And anyway, we didn't really want anybody to know yet because it was new and we were like, oh, we all know each other so well. We were at this party with all sound people and we'd been sitting next to each other all night and just like drinking and fucking around and whatever. And I went to...

I went... What? I went inside. I went inside. Yeah. Like to get another drink or something. Yeah. And he like followed me in.

He was like, oh, do you know where the bathroom is? And I was like, oh, yeah. Was he asking because he needed to pee or was he asking because he needed some privacy? So he was like, do you know where the bathroom is? I was like, yeah, I do. And I took him through. And then we were in the bathroom, like not the toilet, like the bathroom. And I was tiny at the time.

I was very, very thin. And he like picked me up, by the way, so he like propped me up on the sink and that was the first time we ever kissed. That is hot as fuck. Yeah, it was. Oh, shit. Yep. Also, not that I expected otherwise.

That's the room that the bath goes in, by the way. What was in that room? A lounge? A bed? A sink. I don't know what I was expecting because Torbs is a very calm man. Yeah, he is. But this sounds like he had game.

I mean, the pot had been on the stove for a while, I feel. Simmering. Yeah. But to go, I'm going to take her to a bathroom at a party, pick her up and put her on the sink. Oh. Yeah. So how long between that first kiss and?

We left shortly after. We left the party pretty quickly. And is it fair to say that you began officially being boyfriend or girlfriend a year later? Yeah. That was the moment? Yeah. How was it? I mean, don't answer that, obviously.

It was terrible. That is hot. Thank you. Yeah. Yep. I've never told that story before. Why are you still, you're like. Because it just like, we were so young and it was just fun.

We were fucking around. And I don't think that we ever thought we'd be in love. You like... Because it just like... We were so young and it was just fun. We were fucking around. And I don't think that we ever thought we'd be in love. Like, I don't think that we thought eight years later we'd have a house and a life and that we would be each other's family. Like, I just don't think that we ever thought that. And it's just... You were just a giddy young lady who met a boy and was passionate on in bathrooms.

Yeah, like, I just... I mean... But you're, like, giddy in love just reminiscing and talking about this. I can see it in your face. Yeah. You don't look like someone who's just had a COVID thing and a cancer scare. You look like a young, look at you, put this in a bottle.

So I think about this every day. Yeah. But it's just, it's nice thinking about that time and that I just love him even more every day. So now when you're at a restaurant, any kind of venue, and he goes, oh. Oh, Torbs will not fuck me in a bathroom. Like, I've tried.

That is 100% not what I was going to ask. Oh. Okay. You know how some co-hosts can read each other's minds? No, not us. Not us. How often would you say you tried? I've tried a few times.

I've been like, oh, do you want to go into the bathroom? And he goes like, Tony Louise, no. He won't do it. You don't love to see it. Oh, shit. Where was your... Who cares? I had a great story prepared about love at first sight

and I have lost all interest in it. I'll tell it next week. Great. Save it for later. Hey, things you love to see. Last week when we were doing some throwbacks, you were telling a story about a Facebook group called Mums Who Clean. Yes.

And I said, what are your most random Facebook groups that you just like people watch in? Yes. Alec Henry has changed my life. He's a tarper. He goes, go and check out this group called We Pretend. It's 2007 to 2012 internet. And it's basically these really old memes and people like,

oh, look at this new fun meme that'll probably never last the line of day. Oh, my God. Like old meme formats before memes were really memes. And someone has posted a screenshot of a newspaper article and it's Marvel takes a huge risk getting some unknown Australian actor to play the role of Thor. That'll never probably work out. Who's he this way?

Because he was just like on Home and Away, this Aussie soap, and, you know, they plucked him and everyone's like, oh, they've gone for some unknown person, that'll never work. And then, of course... And now he's the richest person in the world. And everyone in the group pretends it's the time. So they're responding like, oh, it'll never work out. They should have got a proper actor who's actually ripped

instead of this skinny Aussie kid. That is amazing. So thank you to Alec Henry for bringing that group into my life. And if you want to love to see something pop up in your feed, it's called We Pretend It's 2007 to 2012 Internet, and it is... Sounds like a time machine. It is. Like, forget your problems.

It is. It is glorious. It is chef's kiss. Get around it. You'll love to see it. Oh, amazing. Recently, Kat Caldwell in our Tony and Ryan podcast group on Facebook posted, Hi, everyone. This is my daughter, amazing. Recently, Kat Caldwell in our Tony and Ryan podcast group on Facebook posted,

Hi, everyone, this is my daughter, Emily. I recently discovered that one of the only things to settle her to sleep is the Tony and Ryan podcast. I don't like these posts. I thought maybe it's just the sounds in the background that calm her, but it's actually Tony and Ryan. And she was scrolling and looking back at old pregnancy videos like of her filming her tummy.

And she realised she always had our podcast playing through her phone and the baby could hear it. And so Emily is officially our youngest fan. I also question what her vocab will be like when she's able to talk. This is why I don't like this. And we've had a few people being like, oh, you know, when I was pregnant, this helped. No.

No. I don't like this. And we've had a few people being like, oh, you know, when I was pregnant, this helped. No. No. I don't want cum guns. I don't want Tony trying to bang Torbs in bathrooms. I don't want cows. I don't want any of this ruining people's childhoods, vocabulary and what they think is normal in society. You know, when they're older, oh, doesn't everyone do this? When I grew up, I just always heard this and it was normal.

Oh, you really derailed my love to see it. But I appreciate where you're coming from. Oh, did you derail? Did I derail your story? Did I derail your story? That's fair. Sorry, that great story I had about love at first sight, how did that work out for me?

Yeah, it did with me fucking in the bathroom. Not fucking in the bathroom, actually. Hey, we'll see you tomorrow. We open our travel agency tomorrow. Oh, I'm excited about that. Hopefully I'll get to finish that story. Oh, come on, meow. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors.

Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up.