Toni and Ryan - Party at the front, Boner in the back

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

A title for the ages: and a word we don't think you would have heard in QUITE some time. And some great news out of the house of Dunn!! Love you!! Toni xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is the Tony and Ryan podcast. Who we got? We are calling TARPA Royalty. This is Alex Fiasco. What is this? We just got Skype. Welcome to 2003. This is great. Hello? Hello, is that Alex Fiasco? Yeah. Yes. Yes, it is. Hello? Hello, is that Alex Fiasco? Yes

Yes, we love the podcast It's Tony and Ryan, will you approve? Absolutely, I'll approve Yay! Would have been a real fiasco if you didn't I see what you did there Oh wow, you've never heard that one before Look out, look out

Not once ever Alex, for the record How do you say your last name? That's not my actual last name. I just put it as Chiasco because it's funny. That's a stage name. You know, for my performances. Yeah. Well, seriously, though, thanks for being an absolute legend in the comments

and the Facebook group. I love when your name comes up because I love reading it out. Hey, it's Alex Fiasco from Chicago, and I approve this podcast. Coming up today, misheard lyrics. And I'm not just talking misheard. I'm talking I've been singing out loud the wrong thing for 25 years. I actually really like these. Yeah.

Because they just are often like a real moment in time. Like you heard it once and then you go, cool, that's what it is. I'm going with it. It feels right. And back in the day, you couldn't look up A you go, cool, that's what it is. I'm going with it. It feels right. And back in the day, you couldn't look up A to Z lyrics.com. Yeah. You know? You couldn't just Google it and figure it out.

Yeah. If you didn't have the CD with the booklet in it that had the lyrics in it. That's a moment in time. That doesn't exist anymore. Nah. But you didn't know if you didn't have that. I just ordered the Young Gravy album record. What the fuck? And, well, for The Office, we have to contribute a record to the,

you know, because of culture. Culture. And I wonder if that comes with lyrics. I don't think so. Because just reading that would be like, that hoe, dance the money, bitch. Yeah. Damn, Gravy, you so vicious. Oh, you know the words.

Yeah, because you fucking sing it literally 27-7, 27 hours a day, seven hours a week. Righto. I think it's also the moment when you've been singing it for 15 years, then a bunch of friends around, then you're singing it out loud, and that moment where everyone goes, hang on a sec, bud, did you just say? Yeah, and you really commit. Yeah.

Yeah. That's coming up soon. Normal or nah? Normal or nah? What is normal or nah, Tony? Normal or nah, we take a question or a statement from our community, our Facebook group, or either of us come up with something and we decide, because we are the adjudicators in this, we decide whether it's normal or if it's nah. Should we say what happened yesterday? It used to really fuck me off when Tony used to explain normal or nah for 15 minutes because I think- I did not.

Okay. I did not ever explain it for 15 minutes. Fair. Just then that was like not even 15 seconds. Yeah. So I thought the title of normal or nah was kind of self-explanatory. Brian goes, people fucking get it. People fucking get it.

You don't have People fucking say anything. And I feel like over a few months it became a bit of a running thing. Yeah, that you'd go, all right, normal or nah, and I'd go, so, normal or nah, and then we'd both start laughing. And I'd go, all right, well, you know, you yelled at me. You don't want me to explain it. So I'll just sit here and be your laugh track. I never yell at you.

I just won't say anything. I'll just be pretty and I'll just sit here. Well, you're nailing that because you look great today. But. So yesterday we meet with this sort of audio consultant, podcast coach, radio guy that is employed for Spotify. He's like, g'day, guys. Can I give you a couple of notes?

I'm like, sure, mate. What do you reckon? And he's like, you know what? The show is perfect except it would be great if you explained normal or not. And I nearly fucking shat right there in the cafe. And Tony just looks at me with the biggest. Everyone, you know that saying, I hate to say I told you so? Yeah.

No one hates to say that. Everyone loves saying I told you so. It feels great. It's a big moment. And Tony just looked at me and goes, ah! Do you reckon? Yeah. Do you reckon?

You could have explained that. Yeah. Do you really explain that? Yeah, it did feel pretty good. So we say normal or nah. I fucking quit. Normal or nah. So the thing about these water bottles is. All right, normal or nah. When someone is driving really, really slow in front of me,

I'll like swerve a bit so the car behind can see that it's the car in front and not me that's slowing everyone down. Is that normal or nah? So you're saying you do this? Yeah. Oh, that's weird from you. You're not like anxious about what people think of you. No, but sometimes I'll be getting a bit annoyed at the person in front

and I'm like. This can't. This car. I said this car. No, you didn't. I did. I didn't realise car was spelt with a U-N-T in it. No, I said this car.

I'm not even beeping that because i i said this car this car is what i said and then yeah so you're like yeah it's bitchy it is bitchy okay yeah i'm gonna say nah because i don't do that but now that you know it exists but yeah see you know what is something that i don't actually like about normal or not? Sometimes it just gives me new things to be anxious about. Like, should I have been worrying about this the whole time? I've never thought about it before, but should I have? But now it's been brought to your attention. Yeah.

Maybe you're swerving all over the place. Should I be anxious about that? I'm just letting you know it's the only one. Normal for me. Yeah, that's weird. And welcome anyone else who wants to try it. You don't normally do that. I think it's more of a shame rather than a – it's not that they're hating on me. Yeah, that's weird. And welcome anyone else who wants to try it. You don't normally do that. I think it's more of a shame rather than a – it's not that they're hating on me.

I just want them to join me in hating the other guy. Yeah, right. Yeah. You sound like you're a really aggressive driver. Is that the case? No, and I am actually offended that you asked that because Tony, 0 to 100 lodge, is the more aggressive of the two of us. I'm not aggressive on the road.

Would you say you're more aggressive than me? Not aggressive, but more aggressive than me. Yes or no? No. No, I wouldn't. Wouldn't you? No. Okay.

I wouldn't. See, it's being displayed right now. You're getting very aggressive. I sound it. See, it's being displayed right now. You're getting very aggressive. I sound it. This car. I also like when people who are like, I can't do it. Oh, they can't this, they can't that. They're just one big can't.

This is from Zach. Don't say that about Zach. Don't say that about Zach. Don't say Zach's a cunt. Zach, well, as you're about to find out, he's not a cunt. He's a fucking do. And this kind of got busy in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. Does anyone else wake up in the middle of the night raring to go with their partner and accidentally wake them up for a bit of a mid-evening rendezvous.

Mid-evening? Midnight. Zach asks, normal or nah? And wake your partner up. I... I, oh, normal or not is really difficult because it's like you're saying like it happens all the time or it never happens. Yeah. It has happened, but I wouldn't say it happens like. Regularly.

No. But you're not like against it. No. And I think that if it's like you're waking them up, it's consensual. You know, like it's all good. And you're just like, oh, you've never given the nudge. What about... Where I struggle

with this normal or nah is I guess the contrast between who I am as a person and who I'd like to be. I'd love to believe that if someone woke me up, I'd be down. Yeah, sure. And I'd love to believe that if I woke my wife up,

she would at least. Find interest. Yeah. Yeah. But the reality. Yeah. I feel like if someone's like, my wife, someone, someone's tapping me when I'm asleep.

Can I champ it? I don't know. Or tap it on the window out the front. Yeah wife. Someone. Someone's tapping me when I'm asleep. Can I jump in? Why not? Or tap it on the window out the front. Yeah, come around. Jump in. Nah, because I'm like a bit of a dead sleeper. Yeah. And lots of comments here.

Let me share something with you. Hayden, if someone touches my sleeping corpse, I will literally wake up swinging fists and not in a good way, so it's a no from me. my sleeping corpse, I will literally wake up swinging fists and not in a good way, so it's a no from me. My sleeping corpse. The big deal. Oh. I haven't heard from the big deal in a while.

No. I hope you're doing well, Jade. She said, if you're waking me up in the middle of the night, you better have a helmet on because I'm going to come up swinging hands. Oh, my God. Some people are real precious about their sleep. And I am too, but if it was a little bit of, I think it's okay. Emily Goldthorpe, so normal.

Sometimes I'll wake up from a sexy dream and I'm fucking halfway there. Emily. So you just got to like, hey, champion, come finish this off. Yeah, just need you for 30 seconds. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I've had a sexy dream

with a D and now I need the real D. That's so funny. Freya says, normal. Give me that pork sword. I'll sleep and I'm dead. Good for you, Freya. Yeah, live your best life. I like that. Sarah Emily Martin.

Me waking my boyfriend up? Absolutely fucking normal. My boyfriend waking boyfriend up? Absolutely fucking normal. My boyfriend waking me up? Absolutely fucking not. Oh, so you're happy to be the one calling the shots? Well, she's ready. It's on. But if you poke your boner into my back, fuck off.

Fuck off. Wow. And there was a lot of sleeping boner into the back of that chat. Yep. Are you adverse to a sleeping boner? On me? Yeah. I don't personally have one, so.

Are you? The people tapping on your window? Oh, geez. Someone in this bed's got a hard-on banging into the back of my leg. And it's not me. It's not me. Jesus Christ. Sorry, you say hard- on is just so weird.

Why? I just don't think I've heard someone say that in a long time. A hard on. Do people not say that? I don't know. Maybe I just don't hang out with people. You don't hang out with boys? Do you not play local football?

Yeah. Are you not in a year 9 science class? You want to know the most year 9 term for that? What? This is a term you haven't I actually want to try it Because I think I know what you're going to say I haven't heard this I haven't said this for 20 years

I haven't heard this for 20 years I can't even say it I can't even say it Alright we're grown ups It's science TV Look at me in the eye I can't even say it. I can't even say it. All right, we're grown-ups. It's science, Tiffy. Look at me in the eye. Both of them, not that one.

And you're not allowed to pull a face. All right, hang on. Stiffy. I said you can't pull a face. It's who you did it already. I've got a chub. Wake up with a chub, wake up your wife and give it a rub. That's what I've always said.

Get a chub to make a bub. See, it's science. Yeah, it's science. Fuck, what are we doing? Normal or nah? So normal or nah, basically. All right, final one. Here we go.

Also, go and check out that thread in the Facebook group. There's some extreme answers. And some people are just like, I'm here for the comments. I love being a part of the tarp community. Normal or nah? Putting the water in the glass before the cordial. No. Nah.

Fuck no. Absolutely fucking nah. I agree. Now, Sinead said, I put the juice cordial in before the water, but my boyfriend does it after. No. He says it must be an African thing as I'm from Zimbabwe and he's British but I actually just think he might be a fuckhead. I think he's a fuckhead too.

Not only, Sinead, is your boyfriend doing it wrong, he's a fuckhead. Yeah, I'm so sorry to break it to you, Sinead. But you need to put the cordial in first because the water mixes it up. Thank you. But if you put the cordial in on top, it's like. Are you going to put your hand in there? Yeah. And fucking chub and rub it?

Are you going to waste a spoon? Yeah. And then have to put it in the dishwasher? Oh, my God. For one swirl? What a mess. Yeah. Who's got the time?

No, you've got to go cordial first. And then if you happen to put too much water in or whatever, you can top it up with cordial. Yeah, sure. That's fine. But like, you're crazy. What the fuck? It's like if you were making like a rum and coke or something.

Don't know who would be drinking that. I'm not averse to a scotch and coke at the time. Okay, but I said rum and coke. You're right, and I'm not from Queensland. Yeah. But you wouldn't pour the coke in and then pour the rum in? Because that would be fucked. That's fucking crazy.

That's fucked. All right, so we all agree that nah, and we all agree that Sinead's British boyfriend is a fuckhead. Fuckhead. Yeah, great. She's not waking up for his chub. She's not waking up for his chub. Hey, it's Alex Fiasco from Chicago,

and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A big shout out to a few of our champion tapas, our Tony and Ryan podcasters, over at our Patreon. You can check it out at any time of the day or night in the link in our show notes. It's 24-7. It's 27-7. You can also, we talk about our Facebook group where we get all our normal nas and everything. You can join that.

It's called Tony and Ryan podcast on Facebook. You just search it up and you can join. There's like 30,000 people in there. That's crazy. It's awesome. But a few of our champion tapas in particular, Carrie it up and you can join. There's like 30,000 people in there. That's crazy. It's awesome. But a few of our champion tapas in particular, Kerri-Ann, thank you so much, and Carver, Bianca Magninart. What a great name.

As if you're not on TV. I'm Bianca Magninart. Thank you for watching. Seven Nelly News. Yeah. Lacey Bonham, thank you so much. Lacey Bottom. Lacey Bonham.

Oh, my mistake. Please don't talk about Lacey like that. Lacey Bonham. Oh, my mistake. Please don't talk about Lacey like that. It's not appropriate. Oh, my mistake. Steve Farris, Jenny and Jennifer Wenifer. Separate Jennifers. Jenny, Jenny or microwave Jenny? Sorry, it's a castle joke.

Very niche Australian reference. But Tony obviously didn't. How'd you make that, doll? Scooped you out the punner. Kim Tran, Nick and Yakov Gross. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I love The Castle.

It's a great movie. Yeah. We used to watch it every Father's Day. Tell them he's dreaming. With Tim and Tess. You know Tim and Tess. Oh, really? It's like our Father's Day thing.

Because it's a great family movie. It is, actually, yeah. Oh, fuck, it was Father's Day the other day. Why didn't I not? Maybe next year, Tim and Tess. I'm sorry, guys. I think they're fine. They just bought a house.

Yeah, they're all good. Yeah, they've got better things to do than watch The Castle for the 17th time with me, I'm sure. Hey, tomorrow on the show, Tony and I are still trying to figure out the name of this segment, but all I'll say is a working title is Conspiracy Tony. Yeah. So if you want to hear about Conspiracy Tony and why Tony is susceptible to being a conspiracy theorist

and a doomsday prepper, you would be a doomsday prepper. I would not be a doomsday prepper. That was one of my favourite shows on Seven Mate, Doomsday Preppers. I'm a bit gullible. A bit gullible and you like to be prepared. I do. And when you hear about something that happened one time. I'm like, oh, let's prepare for that.

Doomsday prepper. Oh, fuck. Okay. All right. But we're talking about it tomorrow. That's tomorrow. That's tomorrow. Everyone in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group,

thank you so much for sharing your misheard lyrics. And I'm sorry to give you the karaoke butchered version, but I feel like some of these are better sung. Okay. So. Now I'm on board. We'll back it in. Yeah.

I love a sing song. Yeah. I mean, who doesn't? Yeah. Did I show you that video of me? Yeah, I've seen it about 12 times. Yeah. It resurfaced on Facebook.

It comes around on the algorithm of me doing karaoke. It actually isn't even the algorithm. The other day you just showed it to me in your gallery. Oh. Gallery algorithm. I mean, they've both got A's and the B's. No, you went to your phone and you found a video of you singing karaoke. Yeah.

And you go, have you seen this? I was like, yeah, mate, you sent it to me yesterday. Yeah. Great times had by all, except for you, apparently, and everyone else in the pub that night. I've seen it a lot of times. Well, you'll see it some more. Righto.

A bit tense today. Okay. Yep. It's all good. Do you want me to reprimand you, Stephen? A bit tense today. Okay. Yep. It's all good. She made a reprobate. Well, I just, I wasn't expecting that, but I mean, who's saying no? Yeah. Not you.

No one said no. Emily said. Hi, Emily. Rihanna and Calvin Harris had that song, We Found Love in a Hopeless Place. Oh my God. That was like such a big song in what, 2011? The best. When she mentioned it, I looked it up on YouTube.

It still fucking goes, that song. It's a belter. Yeah, it's a belter. We Found Love in a Hopeless Place is the line. But she always for about 10 years thought We Found Love in a Homeless Place. Well, as if they were in a shack and they were like fucking in there or something. Yeah, we'll just buy the train station.

Yeah, let's find love in this homeless place. So it's supposed to sound a little bit like three, two, one. We found love in a hopeless place. We found love in a hopeless place. But according to Emily, it was more like this. We found love in a homeless place Do you have a home, mate? We found love in a homeless place

Oh, my God. I love that song. Emily, sorry that you can't hear, but that's a fucking great song. I'm going to listen to that later. Add it to your list for September. It's a new month. You need a new playlist. I've already started September.

Yeah, like me. Throw it in. Or does it not fit the vibe? It might not fit the vibe, but maybe next month. Yeah. We don't have to sing this one because it's more of a, it's a hard one. But Shania Twain, this is, you know, the line, I can't believe you kiss your car at night? Yeah.

And everyone, everyone thought it sounds like, I can't believe you kiss your cock at night. What the fuck? Did you not think that? No. You know the song I'm talking about, right? Yes. I can't believe you kiss your car at night.

But come on, baby, Tony, you must be joking, right? Everyone thought it said cock cock and it sounds like cock and I reckon Shania Twain knew that she gave it a bit of a twang so people would sound like. Right. There's another line in that song that goes that you shine your shoes. Yeah. But it's like shine your, like shine your, like shine your shoes.

You make me take off my shoes before you let me get into the car. I thought it was shine your shoes and then take your shoes off. And Torbz was like, what the fuck? Why would she say shoes twice? Stephen Jones said in the Go-Go song, Our Lips Are Sealed, he thought it was a song about Alex the Seal. Matthew Fongman. You know the Pussycat Dolls were a real moment in time?

Oh, my God. And maybe we were like young teens then, so it was just like the hottest thing ever. The other day in the podcast you said Nicole Scherzingberger. Yeah. And obviously you were making a joke. Scherzingberger. Yeah. And obviously you were making a joke. Scherzingberger. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

And then everyone was like, oh, are we just going to let Ryan go with saying Scherzingberger? If I pulled you up for everything you fucked up, we'd never get anything done. We'd be here all day. We wouldn't be shipping water bottles. We wouldn't be talking about Oprah's water bottle. I've got places to be. You know, we'd be doing nothing. We wouldn't be fucking talking about stiffies, that's for sure.

Stiffies. Oh, fuck. to be. You know, we'd be doing nothing. We wouldn't be fucking talking about stiffies, that's for sure. Stiffies. Anyway, yeah. Sorry, I brought that back up. No pun intended. Alex the Seal. Alex the Seal. Hilarious. Matthew, the Pussycat Dolls. Here's what the words are. When I grow up, I want to be famous.

I want to be a star. I want to be in movies. When I grow up, I want to see the world, drive NASCARs, want to have groupies. Oh, my God. Yeah. What were you just gesturing out there? I always thought that it was, when I grow up, be a TV, drive NASCAR, want to have boobies.

Well, that's what Matt thought as well. Yeah, I thought it was like I want to get a boob job. Oh, I just thought like if it was from the perspective of like a 14-year-old girl, like, yeah, when I grow up, I'm going to have like boobies. Can't wait to have my boobies. Oh, I just thought like if it was from the perspective of like a 14 year old girl, like, yeah, when I grow up, I'm going to have like boobies. Oh, that's so funny. Yeah, I thought it was that too. What is it? Groupies. Oh, Nicole.

That's weird. No. Yeah. But I mean, if you just want to like get famous and fuck heaps of people, I mean, fair enough. Yeah. Almost famous. Are groupies still a thing? Or now they've got a different name. They're like the entourage or they're like hangers-on or they all give themselves the title.

Oh, no, I'm the manager and transportation coordinator. Whatever, mate. You're a groupie. Amanda. Pour some sugar on me. Pour some sugar on me. She thought it was full grown, super grown men. Three, two.

Full grown, super grown men. Why would they be singing that? What? It's funnier if you know what the film clip looks like as well It's like this super hot babe on the roof of a car washing it She's like soaping herself up and stuff Imagine if she was on there Full grown super grown man

I don't even know what that means It's very funny Neither do I Michaela Everyone loves New York, Alicia Keys. Iconic song. This is one of my yeah bitch songs. Really? Definitely.

I love belting this in the car. Yeah. So good. So what it sounds like is, well, it's New York concrete jungle where dreams are made of. Yeah. But Michaela thought it meant New York concrete jungle where dreams are made of. Yeah. But Michaela thought it meant New York concrete jungle where dreams tomatoes because it just rolled off the tongue

and the beats hit. So what it's supposed to sound like is a little bit three, two, one. New York concrete jungle where dreams are made of. But according to Michaela, she thought it was New York. Concrete jungle where dreams are made of. There's nothing you can do. We sound good, by the way. Let's have the show on the road, baby.

Okay. Alicia McNeil. This is the Neo song. Do you recognise this song? I've put it in front of you. I want to celebrate and live my life. Say it, ayo. Baby, let's go.

Oh, I love that fucking song. Neo had fucking hits. Such a good song. Yeah, and they're all up and about. So instead of saying, I want to celebrate and live my life, saying, ayo, baby, let's go, Alicia thought it was, I want to celebrate and eat fried rice, saying, ayo, where's the mayo? So I want to celebrate and live my life.

Oh, no, I fucked it up. Oh, sorry. I want to celebrate and eat fried rice rice Oh sorry I thought we were doing that Sorry I was doing the right one Alright 3, 2, 1 Eat fried rice I wanna celebrate and eat fried rice

Say it A-O With a A-O Who's putting that On fried rice Normal or nah mayo? Who's putting mayo on fried rice? Normal or nah? Fucking nah. Who's doing that? Finally, Kristen.

First of all, she goes, you know that song Wonderwall by U2? And I went, you mean Oasis? And she goes, yeah, yeah, that's the one. So already she's not off to a good start. Also, just saying, you know that song Wonderwall? Yeah. Yeah. Everyone knows it.

Yeah, the one by U2. What? Not U2. No, me. No. Me. Are you aware? U2.

Me too. Me too. Oh, not U2. No. No, me too. What about those two? No, us two. Oh, no, U2.

Yeah. So the line is, I said maybe. I said that with the accent. Maybe. You're going to be the one that saves me. Maybe. But she thought, because she's from the UK, and I believe this is like the local supermarket. Yeah. I said, maybe you're going to be the one at Sainsbury's. That's very funny. And I think that Oasis are English as well, aren't they? So if you were in the UK, you'd be like, that makes sense. Yeah. Like it adds up. You know, because we're talking about Michaela

with the fucking Wet Dreams tomatoes. That makes no sense. At least this one I'm kind of like, I can see how you got there. Yeah. So how it's supposed to sound is, I said maybe you're going to be the one that saves me. But, of course, according to Kristen, and this is for like 10 years, by the way, and it's a real belt out in the car sing-along song.

She was singing a bit of, I said maybe you're going to be the one that saves me. Yeah, I'll get the two-for-one milk, thanks, mate. It's cheaper if you get the two later. I wonder if Kirsten thought that all this time she was gonna meet the love of her life at Sainsbury's or that it was some crazy marketing campaign. This hit song around the world was actually an ad for Sainsbury's.

Yeah, I'm gonna be the one at Sainsbury's. And it cuts to her looking glamorous in the dahlia, getting the fancy cheese and being like, yep, I'm the one at Sainsbury's. Yeah, I'm going to be the one at Sainsbury's. And it cuts to her looking glamorous in the dahlia, getting the fancy cheese and being like, yep, I'm the one at Sainsbury's. Tony, what do you love to see? So over the past week online, I've been living for these jokes. It's so fucking funny. Leonardo DiCaprio, the second that he's...

What a gift to the internet. Yeah, fucking amazing so there is this if you haven't heard of it there's this conspiracy I guess that and not even really

a conspiracy it's been proven it's fact that every time Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend of the time turns 25 he ditches her

or he ditches her just before she turns 25 but like clockwork last week his girlfriend celebrated her 25th birthday and he is now dating a different 22-year-old model. Already? Yeah, he's already dating another person. How old are you?

I'm 28. That's a shame for both of us, isn't it? I know. Yeah, I'm really upset. Because Leo keeps getting older, but those 24-year-olds keep being 24. Keep getting born. You know what I mean? Like there's always people that are going to be 24.

Can I tell you one of my favourite jokes ever? Yep. You know how Ricky Gervais used to host the Golden Globes? Yeah. And just slay. Yeah. Apparently the movie he was in, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, it went for like three or four hours.

It's a real long movie. And he says, when they went to the premiere, by the time the movie finished, Leo's girlfriend was too old for him. And I was just like... That movie is fucking long. Yeah. And not a lot happens. I write that.

But so obviously the memes have been coming through thick and fast. This is my favourite one. It's a tweet from Tom Neenan. And it reads, Titanic turns 25 this year, at which point I assume Leonardo DiCaprio will no longer want to be in it. Can you just edit me out of a few scenes? And by a few scenes, I mean the four hours I was in them. Oh, is that 25?

I don't want to be in that. Take me out. Take my stiffy out. I don't go in 25-year-old things. I only go in things that are younger. Pull my chub and rub it the hell out of there go rub it somewhere else i just saw that and i fucking lost it as soon as i saw it and i thought of all the memes i've seen that's that's right up there that's so good yeah as soon

as that story again what a gift to the oh my god um i need to show you a picture for this. It's not you doing karaoke again, is it? I'll send you a different one. For my love to see it this week, I'll text it to you. Coming through now. Do you have my number? I'm not sure if you do.

I don't have anything yet. Oh, it's downloading. Hang on. I'll Bluetooth it to you. Oh my god. Oh, it's downloading. Hang on. I'll Bluetooth it to you. Oh, my God. Oh, you're airdropping. Oh, my Bluetooth's off.

Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing. I'll just show you on my phone. Can you just show me on your phone? Why don't you want to just show me on your phone? What can you see? What are you looking at? You got the house.

Got the house, baby. You. What are you seeing there? You and Bridget standing in front of a beautiful sold sign. I have a follow-up from the real estate lady who I DM'd last week. Now, everyone, the 30,000 people in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group, all the people in the DMs who are poo-pooing me saying, you've cost yourself, what do we call it, Beyonce's Airbnb?

Oh, Beyonce's Airbnb. I DM'd the people that owned it and jokingly said, please stop advertising this. I want to raise my family and live in it for 50 years. Stop drumming up attention. Yeah, but you didn't do a ha-ha. You didn't do an emoji. It didn't work.

And everyone said, you've ruined this for you, your wife, your future kids. You've fucked the whole thing. Yeah. Well, to everyone who said that, I say, fuck you. That house is mine. It's ours. Oh, my God.

I'm so happy for you guys. This is so fucking exciting. It is. And there's some more good news. This is the outfit you were wearing yesterday. Did this happen yesterday? No, I'm just low in rotation. Oh, okay.

On the weekend. On the weekend. And that's not the only good news. There's more good news. What's the other good news? We're having a housewarming and everyone who listens to the podcast is invited. No, that's not true. Why not?

That's what Bridget said. Why not? Why would you do that? Oh, there's only like two people in Australia. So it's fine. I just thought you would be. Why are you. So you're as negative as this idea.

How could. What you want a whole bunch of people in your house? I just thought we should celebrate together. You don't want to celebrate? Maybe we could jump on Zoom and they could see, you could do a little Zoom tour or something. No, come over, have a party. Well, I'm busy that day. I'll come a different day.

Bridget can come to my house that night and you can do that. Oh, I thought everyone would be excited about that part. Oh, no. This is fucking awesome though. I'm so fucking excited. Why couldn't you have done that about that part. Oh, no. This is fucking awesome, though. I'm so fucking excited. Why couldn't you have brought that to the party? Oh, my God. I'm so fucking happy for you guys.

Oh, I'm happy as well. For anybody that doesn't know, Ryan, before we started this podcast, has been trying to fucking find a house. I reckon the first episode I was saying we went to an open house and it fucking sucks. You've been trying to find the right one, and this one you really had your eye on. We've come second three or four times, I reckon.

We put offers in and got snaked by rich people. Fuck, I'm so happy for you guys. That's fucking awesome. It was a fucking big weekend. That's fucking huge. And sorry for keeping that from you for two days. Oh, my, how did you not tell me? Well, I was going to message you and then I thought, oh, the hierarchy of communication.

I can't just text you and say we bought a house. Well, surely you would call or FaceTime or something. Well, I actually thought that wasn't enough. I was like, it has to be in person. But I saw you yesterday. I know, and it fucking killed me. And then I was like, no, I want to share it with you on the phone. Well, I'm so fucking excited for you guys.

That's fucking awesome. So when are you moving in? It's a few, it'd be 60 days, something, for the settlement and stuff. So it's not right away. All right. So I can get my beach bod ready between now and then. I can confirm there is a pool. Yeah.

60 days for us to keep it a toy. Yeah, okay. For tying it up. Really sling it down. I have spent some time at the Budgie Smuggler website. Yeah. I have offered to get Bridget and I as a housewarming gift matching swimmers. Yep.

We are trying to come to a... Yep. She's not keen. You're keen. Yeah. Maybe you and Torbs could get matching and Bridget and I would sit inside. But, yeah. You'd fucking love to see that, mate.

That's fucking awesome I'm so happy for you And for people like We've moved around for I reckon I've lived in 10 towns Since I finished school Bridget lived When she was younger

I reckon she went to 8 different primary schools Like she was one of the Dad was always moving for work She always moved around And so because we've both Spent a lot of time moving We both just like, we wanted to have this place and never, ever leave.

This is your forever family home. Yeah, and we don't want our kids to have to change schools every year. And we, like, it's close to this school. It's not actually where in the area we thought we were going to go. But as you know, we just, this specific house, we just were like, that's the one. So it's not where we expected. But now we're like, we want to raise our kids, our fucking grandkids.

We never want to leave. We're all like romantic about it, but we're like, this is the one. We're not moving. It's not a house. What is it? Our home. It's our home. That's so, oh, I'm so happy for you.

And everyone's invited. You'll have to see that. You'll have to see that. You'll have to see that. Wipe your fucking shoes before you come in. Don't dirty up my carpet. Just invited 100,000 people to come around on Saturday. I think it's cup weekend.

Great. This is a long weekend. Long weekend. So you've got time to travel down. Great. Everyone's welcome. I'll put an RSVP Facebook event in the group. And I'm calling it.

You ready? I'm actually proud of this. It's called Dips and Dips. So we'll supply the crackers. Everyone just bring a dip, and then we'll go for a swim. Like a dip in the pool. Mate, that sounds shit. Dips and dips.

Shits and shits. More like that's awful. Well, that's what I'll be the next day after all those dips. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, we'll chat to you tomorrow on the vodcast. You'll love to see that. Oh, me? Yeah.

Sorry, I'm just so happy for you, mate. All right. Love you, bye. There's a car park for you. Undercover. Yeah. And a spare room. Fucking talk dirty to me.

Yeah. Nice. I actually was like, this is Tony's room when she stays and gets drunk in the spa and can't drive home. Yes, that's me. Yeah. Love you, bye. Not everyone can stay at the party, though.

Okay, I keep saying love you bye So it's over