Toni and Ryan - Proof Kids See Ghosts

Episode Date: October 28, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] Ryan's nasty streak - sPooOoKy stories - Jessica Alba's house - love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our son pointed toward the pool. Yeah. Who's that man standing over there? But no one was there. No. My wife's father, so it would have been... It's not the time to that, Tony. Sorry.

My wife... This is Chase and Atlas from South Carolina and the United States. Hi, I'm Vanessa from Brisbane, Australia. Hi, my name is Jared Vecchio and... And I approve these podcasts. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Hello. And if we're looking cruisy today, it's because we've both got the most elite coffees in our hand. Tony, can you explain what you've ordered there? Oh, my God. I don't want to like, you know that like, oh, I don't gate keep. I want to gate keep this.

Um, it's marcher. Tony's got a drink. It's an ice marcia with banana cream. Like, it's, it's so yum. I saw it because their coffee place around here, um, nice guy eddies. Yeah. They posted on Instagram weeks ago, like, while I was not like coming into office. And I was like, I really hope that's not like a seasonal drink that's going to be off the menu by the time I come back.

We're going to do it for limited time only up until the hour before Tony comes back to work. I was just fully expecting to go in there and be like, can I get that? We go, that was last month. Do you know what I mean? So thank God they're still doing it. Yeah, they are. And it is, I've got a, I call it a Monte Carlo, but apparently it's a Montblanc. Montblanc.

Black coffee, cream on. No, we called it a Montblanc, but it is a Monte Carlo. I think I was calling it a Monte Carlo, but it is a Montblanc, but they call it a double C. They do call it. And that's what I call you. It is like a cold brew, yeah, with a bit of cream on top and then like a little bit of orange yeah it's elite it is one of my favorite drinks that they do there it's so weird too that you don't mix it up though no because then you get a bit of cream and a bit of thing in it

because i like the black coffee and i like the cream no no but when because when you've got a straw you just drink from the bottom yeah oh yeah so it's like you need to stir it because you watch me drink from the top here okay oh yeah nice yeah it mixes itself in your tummy yeah Oh, so you're saying I can split the difference. Yeah, because then if you gave that a big swirl, then you're drinking both the whole time. Because I want to enjoy the cream the whole time. Gotcha.

Yeah. And you hate the coffee. No, no, no, but like the cream, I think adds really nice texture as well. Do this. Give it one of these. Here we go. Yeah, that's getting there. I can do that a little bit more.

It's so much better. I've been drinking it the other way for months. No, I know. It's so good to have you back in the studio, dude. I miss you so much. Yeah. I also must say that it is a nice dynamic shift of, like, not having you all in my fucking house every day.

Because every morning I don't have to clean it up again. Like, I feel like every day I was just like, I just had to keep my house so, like, can I say something between friends? Keep shit out of the way all the time. Can I say something between friends? Oh, fucking hell. Yeah.

Was that. your house cleaned up. Oh. I asked if I could say something. What do you mean? What I... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

What do you mean? Well, it was just like, because of your redacted. That's a nasty streak from you. Because it was more about keeping like, because where we were shooting had to be clear. So it was like,

everything that's normally on the table was then elsewhere. Yeah. Which is why it felt like there was shit everywhere. And that's what I was trying to say. Because like it was like you had to move all the stuff from there. And because I was like couch bound, I was like had to have everything within arm's reach. So I've got like baskets of all my things all the time, like my knitting bag and then a basket of like where the remote was and stuff. So like, yeah.

I'm sorry it wasn't to your stand. standards. No, I'm really sorry. Did you go home every day and say to Bridgett? God, Tony's house was disgusting. Is that what you did? No, because I live at my house. I feel like you're trying to dig yourself out of this. I am. I'm trying very hard. Yeah, that's a question, right? No. See, and that's how you should have responded Tony? More just like, if that's like, if you didn't think that was the standard, just like the

dish situation here. Thank you, Charles. Yeah. It's actually very fair. Yeah. Remember that mold? Could you give me some feedback? What would you change?

No, because if you've come to my house every day and I had an opinion, I'd love to hear what you'd love me to change. Oh, it's safe space. What I'll say is, what I'll say is, what I will say. Yeah. No need to change. It's just, if you have. out of said I didn't clean up

but we're just recording in my house today sorry I didn't clean up I'd have been like yeah it's fine just to hear that you had cleaned up was just like

a surprise and no judgment can you say that after all that but who we'd say there is love that When someone just judges the fuck else Like someone for an hour

And then we go, oh, but you do you Yeah, but I really know I'm so who are we to say? Yeah, but who are we to judge? Yeah, you know what? Like, I'm not saying you shouldn't have done more I'm just surprised that you did anything.

It's getting worse. Shit, every time I start to talk My brain goes, this sentence will make it better. Do you know what? And I'm wrong every time. I will say one thing is that me saying cleaned up is probably a bit strong

but but like moving I just felt like I was moving shit like we had to fucking move my couch backwards and forwards every day and there was shit everywhere while we were recording as well I think all of that made it feel also more cluttered and to your house though

I will say like I think up maybe I'm just embarrassed that you came over and like it felt like I could have done more no it wasn't that you should have done more you're like in retrospect Oh, is that it clean? Yeah, I get it. No, I think that that's fair.

But also, how clean can something be when you bring in three camera stands, two lights and a mic and the cables and fucking, you know what I mean? And three extra adults. Yeah. Yeah. Like, what are you supposed to do? Yeah. My bin got so full because we were eating at my house every day. And so, you know, that's been hard as long.

Can I share something with you? I just can't. I just, I feel really a bit embarrassed. No, you shouldn't feel like that. Should I have done more? No. No. can I share something that was said to us the other day

and this is not going to help either there was a wide shot of us on the couch and we're laughing at something or whatever I think it was at the conference they're like oh Tony and Ryan are filming at the house at the moment have a look oh yeah oh there was too and it was like a presentation from YouTube being like

see like these guys are doing their podcast on video and how blah and we're on the couch oh and someone goes God it would be good if she cleaned up No, what they said was It's great that they're not on a proper set It just looks like a regular house Which it is Yeah, and they said, for example, if you had a set designer

They would clean that stuff up And they were talking about the drugs behind you Yeah Because they had to be within reach Because literally I needed them Yeah, so they've just, without no prior knowledge Like, oh, I'm so great, they've just left the Panadol and the cough syrup and the shit

You know, it just feels real. And I was like, yeah, I didn't realize you can see that in that shot. But, like, you know, it's all good. Fucking, bit of fucking editorial from everybody about my house at the moment. I actually wasn't sharing my thoughts. I was just sharing their thoughts. I'm sorry, I just try my best. You do.

And your best is fantastic. Your mediocre is fantastic. Nothing feels real now because I think you're just trying to make it up to me. You can't even say that. this straight face. Let's say something nice to each other and bring it back. I don't have to say shit to you.

So true. Let me say something nice to you. What would you like to hear? No, that's not how it works. To be honest, I actually don't really care because also I am like, and this sounds like

I'm trying to dig myself out of this now, you know when some people come over and you go, the house needs to be speak, like, do you know what I mean? And you go, the house needs to be speak and spank. And they're such assholes or I, you know, but then there's some people that come over and you go like, oh, I know that you're not going to judge.

It was kind of for me, a bit like, as long as where we're, I mean, apparently I didn't even do this. But as long as where, where the area we're kind of using is okay, I think it's fine. I knew you guys weren't going to, well, I thought you guys weren't going to judge me. I didn't judge you. But, you know, in my mind, I was like, this is fine. This is kind of what I was trying to say. Yeah. Yeah.

I love that you're so comfortable Yeah and like actually not being a dick Not being a dick Like if you were coming around I wouldn't be like oh fuck Tony's coming Clean the fucking cupboards No I'll be like oh Tony's coming around

Fucking pull up a chair slot Yeah or if there was like washing on the table You wouldn't care Like and that's what I've been trying to say Since the start of this episode And I'm trying to protect you Thank you From the tapas saying isn't Ryan

And I so remember when he suggested Craning Tony into the building So to you know to avoid backlash like that. That was a bad day for me. I'm trying to protect you. And remember how I said in the comments, let me know if you kind of got what I was saying.

No one said that. No one did. Interesting. Yeah. Sounds to me like a problem for those cleaners. That's what it sounds like to me. You know what? You know how I told you about how the cleaners came.

Then I dropped all those beads. Yeah. And then I started vacuuming. Then they came back. And I was like, yeah, all good. And it looked as if I was like, well, I'll just finish it. But good start, though.

Because I was a bit sick like end of last week, they were due, it was like the next time they were coming, like their next scheduled visit. But because I was a bit, I did not even think about it until literally right now, the next scheduled visit, I cancelled because I was sick. So you've said they did a shit job? No, I didn't say that. No, is it like in your actions? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've been like, God, well, I'll just finish the job. And then I've got, you know what? don't even bother coming. Then you've badmouthed them on Australia's favorite comedy podcast. I did not badmouth them. I said they did an amazing job and it was my fuck up. I dropped a thousand beads. I thought you had to say and I dropped a thousand bucks on that.

I was like, how expensive these cleaners to not even do a good job? And then you've cancelled on them. No. Wow. And I messaged, I emailed them and I was like, I'm just,

I don't want to make you sick. I don't think it's fair that you come in because Torbs is sick. There's just illness in the home, you know so I'm a bit like I don't want you to come around and get sick like that's awful so I was just like hey I've come down with something like I think best don't come this week can we just do like yeah skip one as normal skip one exactly and then um they go oh yeah like are you sure that that's okay and I was like yeah yep all good and yeah and I just didn't even think about how that's going to look can we do the show my house it's even worse than it has been can we do

the show live. You are never coming to my house again as if you think you'll ever be invited. And the whole episode is us waiting for the cleaners to arrive. No. No. So you've so and then we can just as a community vibe their vibe, you know, like are they fucked off? Are they questioning things? Can you imagine not if they walk in? Yeah. And it's all of us sitting there. Yeah. And I'm just like, yep, just do your thing. They're going to be like, well, no. Like they're like, going to be like, we're not doing that. I think they should. They're going to be on camera?

Like, no, no, no. We'll be on camera with us watching them. So everyone would just see us. It's like a reaction video. Yeah. Charles, industry chat about YouTube keywords. Podcasts are reacting to their house being cleaned. How do you reckon that would go online?

That a viral hit there or? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, we could workshop the idea. What about? Let's try it. It's like slow TV. What about like orphan disrespects Taylor Swift lookalikes home organization techniques? I think that would actually, the SEO and that's really good.

There's a lot of good words there. That sounds like the winner. Orphan tries to dig himself out of hole deeper than the orphanage he lived in to find a new friend and a new family. Yeah. Working title. Orphan ruins relationships. Orphan. there's a new woman he'll never see again in his life.

Another woman leaves orphan. Taylor Swift leaves orphan. Taylor Swift looks like, abandons orphan once a kid. This is Chase and Atlas from South Carolina in the United States. I'm Vanessa from Brisbane, Australia. Hi, my name is Jared Vakil. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

A massive shout out to a few of our champion tarp as Emma. Good on you, Emma. Christopher's self. Thanks, Christopher. Salty, with a little salt emoji, which I love. Hot. Just really back in the name. Tenaia, Jane.

Thanks, Tenaia. Alex, love to see it. Alex, thank you. Caitlin Villanueva. Okay. Love that for you. That's a hot name. Casey Grenz and Emma Walter are hardly know her.

Hardly Noah. Two days left to sign up to the Tony and Ryan Patreon. running the top tier, which is a champion tarpa. We'll get a 2026 Tony and Ryan calendar and have a chance to be the tarpa, the golden ticket tarpa. Got it. Which means we're going to fly you and a friend from wherever you are in the world here to Melbourne, Australia.

We're going to put on a show. You're going to be a part of the recording of the show. We'll pick you up personally from the airport. Yeah. $1,000 spending money, Australian dollars. Make sure you look tidy when you arrive because Ryan will have something to say about it otherwise. We'll pick you up from the airport. And yeah, I will disregard.

In my untidy car. I'll take you to my untidy house if you come. Yeah, maybe you can vacuum the floor. Maybe we'll get tattoos together if you listen to yesterday's episode. Everything's in play. You've only got two days. I've signed up before this Saturday and we'd love you to join us on Patreon. Love it.

So, a sleep or two until Halloween, but I don't know if you've noticed like. A sleep or two, I love that. That's how my mum always used to count down stuff. Like, five sleeps till your birthday. But have you noticed that it's not just. like the day anymore. I feel like last weekend, the Halloween party start. Around the street, you're kind of starting to see.

Oh, the people across the street have got like fake ghosts or like cobwebs. You know, it's that white... Fake ghosts. Compared to the real ones. They've got these fake ghosts. What? You know how? Like on their fence, they've got like, you probably buy it from a craft store, but it's

kind of like cobwebby stuff. And because it's white and fluffy, um, Mabel goes, it looks like Kenny. because my mum's dog is a white fluffy dog and she sees the cobwebs and goes, that's Kenny. That is so silly. And I go, no, that's a ghost. Can he stand or no?

No, but it's not a ghost, it's cobwebs. You keep saying, I don't know if it's a ghost or cobwebs. They're not the same. They've got ghosts and cobwebs and it's just all white. Yeah. Where it's not normally white. I think that now it's like Halloween month. That's what I mean, yeah.

It's like Christmas. Like you're decorated for all of October. Now a few tarpers have shared a few spoons. Spooky tales. Oh, spooky. Should we turn the lights off or something? Do we know how to do that? Well, will that look weird?

Not that good for watching. Watching. What happens if we turn the lights off, Charles? Not much. Ooh. Okay, but before I get to, I said to Tony, hey, I will not watch you on YouTube, nothing changed. Oh, for these lights, you're hard to have.

This audio podcast is really. really weird. Do you know else feel that? Yeah. Well, spooky. It's a ghost or maybe a cobweb. I've got a couple of tarpa. Spooky.

Oh my God. Did you just make that? That is so funny. Charles, that is so funny. Sorry, Charles has just put on the screen behind us some little ghosts and little jack-o-lanterns. That's, oh, sorry, it's a bit scary. It is.

Scared me. Now, boo. I feel bad considering what I'm, happened at the start of this episode but i just for a little bit need to out you one more time great love it so we've got some stories here about people who like maybe saw some things when they were younger maybe like an imaginary friend or like some ghosts do you know what i'm talking about yeah and i said um i said before we record i was like i've got some spooky stories tony do you have a spooky story you can share did you have an imaginary friend or see a ghost

And Tony says, no, I didn't, but I used to tell my mom I did because I wanted her to think I was interesting. My mom thinks I'm boring. I truly always wanted to be the main character. Yeah, you know, I didn't say anything, but I'll go with it if that's what gets your attention this time of you. Yeah, and then I used to just say to mom like, my toys have moved again. but I would be moving them I would move like I remember I had this like

because I loved 101 Dalmatians but the real life one with Glenn Close in it not the animation and I had this huge I had this huge Dalmatian toy it was like this big and it was like you know when a dog sits and it's like legs are in front of it

it was like in that position and I would move that around my room and tell mum that I'd like woken up and it was in a different spot All that, like, I'd get out from school. I'd move it and I'd be like, Mom, it's happened again. Luana Draville has been over during the day again.

Who? Who's the girl? Who? What did you say? Luana Dravil. It's so close. Try again. Luana Dravil.

Try again. Now it's Cruella Draville. Cruela Derville. Yeah, that's what I said. But Luella Dravil is very funny. And so did your mom, even give you one percent chance of it true or she just goes oh no like you know like hey just shut a kid up and how old would you have been if you say 17 i'm gonna find

but actually that like i probably like year one or two yeah like so it's obviously like i've seen toy story you've watched caspar you know like i'm i'm trying to make it seem like there's things going on huh toy story not true a choking, spooky story. All right, Anthony. But yeah, so nothing actually ever happened to me, really. But you are an,

you were an interesting girl. Yeah. Just the line I wanted to seem interesting. I just, like, wanted my mum to have something to like talk about. Maybe I thought she was boring, and I was like,

I've got to give you some fucking material. Give me some goldies. Tarpa Anthony. Hi, Anthony. Anthony Greene, again. I know, he's had a big week for Anthony. Wow. Our son pointed toward the

pool yeah and then ask my wife his mom yeah who's that man standing over there do no but no one was there no and he said he's waving he's wearing a mailman uniform oh my god my wife's father so it would have been it's not the time to that tony sorry my wife's it's very serious my graduated fiancé our father who actually passed away before my son was born yeah was a mailman and had been in that house yeah and was wet for life that is so because you know how like like they say that like kids and animals are really good at detecting because they don't have they haven't like being desensitized to that by like people telling you it's like not real or whatever i don't fuck with that shit like i very i respect it it like fucking love it um

that's so spooky to me weeks later no this where it gets a bit fun okay we went and saw john edward the medium you know the the o g medium so they're at his show and um he just walks past and stops and goes, do you have a son? And has he started seeing dead people recently? You're fucking joking me. What? Like, just, because you know how though, I'm assuming I haven't been to,

do you call it a concert or a show or a night with John Edward? You know, he'll kind of just feel the energy in the room, go, oh, there's something weird happening over here. But he was like walking across and just like stopped and just like looked at him and went, your son is he seeing, and it wasn't like, Oh, what's going on? It was just like, is your son seeing dead people?

Get fucked. Yeah, and they went, he's been talking about a mailman. And, you know, they do a whole thing. Yeah. Yeah, like, just happened a few weeks ago. And he was like, yeah. That is crazy. Didn't mention Durala Krivile, though.

I know that there's like been a bit of off-air chat. I would really love to go to a medium. I've thought about it for so long. What's been stopping you? I'm really scared of, like, what it will be. And I think that I'm really scared, oh, my God, I don't actually want to cry. I don't need to. I'm really scared, like, what if my mum didn't come?

Like, I think I'd just be so upset that she didn't want to talk to me. Like, and I actually- Well, Tony, I know you were moving the dog. Like she got. Sorry, no, it's not a moment. You were having a beautiful personal moment.

I needed that. I needed that. But like, I'd just be really scared that like, yeah, what if she didn't come? Because I. I think that's on the medium.

No, but like, wouldn't it be? Do you get what I mean? No, like, is it like, is it up to her to be,

like, sometimes you would have stronger connections and sometimes it'd be weak it wasn't like you she turned up once and she rejected you so forever that she's gone she's not a strong connection today but there was a few bits and pieces and maybe next time it'll be but you know like I don't think it's like you have to put the pressure on yeah this being the perfect moment yeah I just think that I would because I've thought about it since she died because I've thought about it so much yeah I think I probably have really like built up in my head and I would just be really I'd be really

stated if I didn't get to talk to her or like feel her there now have you heard of tim ferris talking about fear setting yeah so um if you haven't heard of it um because Tony night yeah we've talked about this few times but basically it's the opposite of goal setting so goal setting's like here's what I want to do here's what I want to achieve yeah but fear setting's kind of going all right well if it really didn't work and everything went as bad as possible yeah like where would I like how bad would it be and if you start to get comfortable with, oh, if... What's the worst outcome?

Yeah, if me and Tony started a podcast and it doesn't go well and it doesn't... Like, what's the worst it could happen? Well, not, you know, we probably would, you know, shake hands and go, we had a good run and keep going with their jobs in it. Maybe you feel a bit embarrassed, but like, that's pretty, like, short term. The point being, if you get comfortable with the worst case scenario and then you realize it's not that bad anyway, suddenly going for it doesn't seem that bad. Totally.

So, with this in mind. should we fear set you going to a medium? Yeah. And we'll just do a bit of role play now. Yeah. I'll be the medium. I'll be the extra large. Sorry, I'm uncomfortable.

I've got a messy house and I'm upset. Okay. Let's, um, we're fear setting here. Yeah. Okay. Tony, is there someone that you would like to read? No, see, no, you already fucked it. They don't do that. Oh, sorry.

Because you're not supposed to tell them anything they're supposed to. Oh, okay. And then they'll say, like, I'm sensing, like, an older male in your, like, who's he to you? I'm getting, like, the letter G or whatever. Okay, I'm getting the letter E. Wow. Yeah. Do you know anyone who is your mother that's had a name starting with E?

Who's no longer with us? Yeah, yeah, I do, yep. Because she's got something quite specific. Okay, let's stop. I'm done. I just want to say this one line. Yeah, I know. Oh my God, it's her.

I know you moved the dog. No, that's actually not what I was going to say. I thought for sure. No, because when you're like, what if she doesn't want to talk to me? Oh, yeah. So just go with me. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Tony, is there someone you would like to connect to? Yeah, my mom. Well, she's busy. Do do, do, do, do, do. She said she's actually gone down to Woolies today and doesn't have time. She's busy. yeah oh what would you like to do for the next

58 minutes yeah because you're no refunds no refunds on that I'm ready pay and go oh do you want to watch one of my YouTube sets

do you want to catch the latest episode of fucking whatever that's that'd be a good time yeah do you watch Supernatural would you like to watch an episode supernatural I've actually got some industry podcast secrets to share with everyone oh yeah

if you want to increase the listens on your podcast go to a media go to a medium make no connection and force them to watch an episode it's great idea i'm doing it now you can pay two hundred dollars for one extra view and if you do that a million times boom you're broke yeah yeah you shouldn't keep paying money that's bad of us uh tarpa val hi val i was a so i think That was like our age. So she stayed at a friend's house and her friends have kids. Yep. I stayed at a friend's house and I dreamt a woman in blue dragged me through a terrifying

endless roller coaster all night. Oh my God. Crazy. And so she like, you know if you like wake up exhausted? Yes. From a dream you just like. And you feel like you've had a long night. I think I told you to see, I had a dream where I couldn't find where I parked my car.

Yeah. And I just woke up. So annoyed and exhausted. She was telling the same dream again. Oh, sorry, wish I was dead and busy. I'll find you at the medium store. Do you have any Ryan Johns? Oh, hang on, hang on.

Sorry, I've got to just clean my house first. Hang on. Yeah, Ryan's come back from the dead. And you said, still got a busy house. Imagine. Is there one message you would like to pass on to Tony? You know, maybe some words of. kindness or a fond memory.

And I go, or a part, like final parting conversation. Yeah, if you could just move the cold and flu tablets from out of the shot. Val. Hi, Val. I stayed at a friend's house and I dreamt a woman in blue dragged me through a

terrifying endless roller coaster all night. That's, it was exhausting. Sorry, there's some building. There's a big bang like you could be building next door. That was so spooky. In the morning,

my friend's young daughter at breakfast goes, oh did the lady in blue visit you in your dreams as well last night which is a pretty fucking specific question oh my god I have such I don't want to I don't fuck with this and then the late and then she goes yeah and the daughter goes she told me in my dreams she didn't visit you next so she must have like you know come over to me first before heading over to you that is the most horrifying thing I've ever fucking heard in my life

Yeah. God, you never stay in that house again. No. Oh my God. Don't. I'm actually getting scared. It's the ghosts on there. There's more,

there seems to be more ghosts on the screen. I'm so spooked out. The timing. I was about to say to everyone listening and watching, did you feel that? I reckon they did. It's so strong. What's the next D?

Visual, audio. The next D. As in, if this is a 3D podcast We'll spit on you One dimension is audio One dimension is video The third D is Tony spitting on you Yeah

4D you feel the rumble of the jungle Which is happening next door to us apparently Yeah, I don't know what that is Apparently What do you love to see Tony Lodge I'm feeling so spooked out now after that I've got you love to see it here though If anyone else would like a reading

I am available From Sarah Brosnan shared this on Patreon and you're going to love to see this right. I know that right now you're like getting or you love to say it, but it looks like I was talking and you just picked up your phone. I was like, yeah, yeah, no, you know that you're doing something, but I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, no, you go, man. So Sarah said, in April 2024, I moved from a studio apartment to like a one bedroom.

So like way more space. Yeah, love it. And a bit of a backyard. Sarah says, I've wanted a dog my entire life, but my parents never let us get one. I volunteered at various dog rescues to feel. the void until I could move to a place that had no breed restrictions or size limits. Because when you're renting, they can kind of be like, you can have a small dog here,

but not a big dog. Also, you know, when you try and rescue a dog, they come and like inspect your property. Yeah. To make sure that it's like... Do you have a fence? Is it appropriate? You got space for them. Space for the dog.

Yeah, like, what's your working situation? We had that with BJ. They came and looked at the house. Yeah, right. Just because they obviously don't want to just hand dogs out when people aren't ready. And they did that for mum when she got me. They came around, like, testing the gate. And just, like, kick to the cut.

Yeah, it looks all right. Has the water pressure that shower. Yeah. The woman in blue coming around here. Yeah. Tick. Four days after moving into my new apartment, I adopted Daisy, who is a German Shepherd mix.

Oh, German Shepherd. Tony loves a German Shepherd. I do love German Shepherd. She gets along so well with my cats as well that I realized I could foster cats as well. And Sarah said, so Daisy now helps cats become more adoptable because cats that are okay with dogs get adopted easier like in the system

it's been a year I've helped seven cats find their forever home and have two currently waiting to be adopted isn't that amazing that is amazing good for you Sarah what a legend and I also just like

love pet chat so this is like a real warm and fuzzy for me coming off the back of those two scary stories but I just love to see that Sarah thank you for sharing that and that was in Patreon and if you join the Patreon, I replied all the DM so we can have a bit of a chat and hang out.

Can you just move that iPad? I just feel like it's gonna slip. Not. Just looking at it has given me... Sorry, is there a problem with my messy area? You'd love for me to clean up over here. Charles, I'm not asking you to pick sides, but does that not look like ominous with the drinks there? Well, it's been like that the whole time.

I've glanced over a few times. For that same reason? No, just like I see it. and I'm like, cool, it's like resting up against the... You crack... You do crazier shit than that. I've actually changed my love to see it because it wasn't the day for that other one.

Fuck you. But then I've realised this other one, it's either not the day or like 100% the day. Well, let's test it live. Yeah, but like... The thing about that is that like, you know, like, you can't unring that bell. It's like you have to back it in

and just like, hope. Yeah, but it's, when you hear it, you go, it was the day or it, yeah, there's no like, I'm not sure about that one. Maddie Jane has seen a bumper sticker. She lives in London, Ontario, in Canada. Oh, amazing. I love Canada. Have I been to Ontario?

No. Yeah, that's where Toronto is. Is it an Ontario is the state? Is it? I think so. I don't think that's right. Charles? No, it is.

Yes, yes, it is the state of Toronto. Oh, nice. Thank you. The state of Toronto. No, Toronto's the city and Ontario's the state He just said the city of Toronto It is the province Province is the state word for Canada

The United Providances of Canada The UPC This is a bum- Ugly ping this is Sorry How dare you Should tell me the bumper sticker This is a bumper sticker

That Maddie James saw In the Ontario province Of Canada Yeah Please let me murder my dad is dead my dad's dead now was it the day no i love that i get it sent to me all the time i love it so much i've seen another one that's like don't honk at me my mum is dead which just kills me don't say kills me obviously yeah imagine if you uh had a session and you

met your like had a chat with your mom and she goes you know it's like not on the phone eh I really know how it works I don't actually think I know That's fine I think not knowing is fine But every time you say Have a chat with her I'm like you know that it's not like

Hello heaven Put Elizabeth on And then Oh just put her on Like Oh someone's on the other line To do do Get off the internet Liz

Get off the MSSF Yeah It's like the other day Lily said to me like I always know that you'll be okay Because your mum has a direct line to God It was like super preachy But it's so true

I don't think you can take advice from Lily because I saw her do something the other day that has frazzled my brain. Oh. And Lily will admit that this is fucked. But we've got the heaven hotline, you know what I mean? So when you dive, sorry to out you here, Lil. When you dive under a wave. Yeah.

What do you do when you're under there? What do you mean? Like what do you, like, tell me what you do. Like you're at the beach, you're swimming and there's wave coming. Oh, it's a big one I'll go under it. Yeah. What do you do? Do you mean like where do I have my hands or something?

Yeah. Like, duck dive. Yeah, and kind of, it's almost like you swim ahead, like you go under it, right? Yeah, you don't like bob down and sit there and that. Lily. Lily bobs down and then. You lifted bob dive. She holds her, she goes down like a cannonball and just bobbles under it like a cannonball.

No, you like duck dive under it. I told Ryan this incompetent. So I was really embarrassed. Do you know what else was in confidence? My messy disgusting house. And look at that. That's on display now, isn't it? All I'm saying is.

Is Lil the one you want to take advice from? That's actually fair. What do you do? You like duck dive, right? Like underneath. Dive under, and if the waves are hitting hard and deep, grab onto the bottom and pull.

I've never. If the waves are hitting. Is he going to add for sand? Sorry, if the waves are hitting hard and deep and they're pushing you back, that's how you like make some ground. That's how you get out to the big stuff.

It's sand. Yeah. everyone to the beach immediately we need to have a lesson yeah i don't know what you're going to teach me and lil i think i'm way too far one way yeah and lil's way too far one way yeah yeah no that's got to find us in the middle and find us better to do i think also like growing up growing up as a serf girl on the beach with i actually was going to say that i hate it me and jessica albar in what's that blue girl what's that movie

and i'm thinking of honey what's that other one blue crush me and blue crush oh my god Kate Bosworth. She has two different coloured eyes. Jessica Alba is in a surf movie. It's called Into the Blue? Yeah. Deep Blue? Deep Charholes. Oh, you're thinking of that deep sea fishing?

Into the blue? Did I get that? That's good from me. Did you? Oh, what was it? Into the blue? Into the blue. That's what I said. You said, yeah, okay. I said Into the Blue before I said deep blue.

So true. No, you did. You did. You did. I'm supportive. Anyway, Jessica Alba. She's in Australia at the moment. But is she actually? On the Gold Coast. Living it up. Oh, my God.

I love that for how. I wonder how she's diving under the waves. But yeah, growing, like, as a surfer, that, like, you learn how to do that safely. As a surfer. That's how I grew up, though. I know we traditionally don't do guests on the show. But for this topic and this topic only. Is Lane Beachley available?

Or Jessica Alba. But she isn't actually a surfer. Neither am I. acting she's an actress a professional yeah anyway i feel like we've gone on long enough i've got actually go home if your mom had a direct line yeah imagine so you got the bumper sticker on your car that says don't don't beep at me my mom's dead and then you go oh hi mom good to meet you and she goes good to meet you i met her before well again um i fell out of it i've met her yeah um also i've seen your bumper sticker i'm actually fine if people beep that's what she would say

Yeah. No, but the thing, it's supposed to be, it's not like for the ghost. It's like, please don't beep at me. Like, enough has happened to me. Like, my mom's fucking dead. Oh. So it's not like the ghost of my mom doesn't like being honked at. No, you fucking idiot.

No, it's like, I can't handle it. I've been true enough. Like, I've been, like, fucking don't beep at me. Please, my mom is dead. Like, you know, I've had enough. That makes so much more sense now. Captain. Gold Coast. Yeah. Elba.

Better go clean up my house, I guess, just in case she decided to pop right out. Tomorrow on the show, normal or Nasback. Maybe. Maybe I might not come in. Who's to fucking save? Might be busy at the beach with Jessica. Nothing would make me more happy. Can you imagine if I called you and I was like, you are not going to believe her I am.

I've flown to the Gold Coast. I've won the... a home price and I'm in my $8 million dollar house on the golf goes and guess who lives next door Jessica Alba you and Jessica Abba actually have something in common in 2016 she was papped on a stand-up paddle board so we could talk about that as well yeah that's supping I'll take mine on carry on is she the one that's also got like that business that makes a bazillion dollars I don't know can you look up Jessica Alba business Who am I thinking of?

I've got, Google. Are you thinking about Rihanna? No, no. I've got the Honest Company. Yeah. What's that? It's, um, Charles.

Uh, the honest company is, like dishwashing detergent. A digital first consumer goods company. Oh, it doesn't tell me what it actually is. It's beauty and baby care stuff. Oh, cool. It's like very much baby nappies.

Yeah, and washing and stuff. and like very at home goods and she fucking kills it. Really? I've never heard of it. But also I'm not in that world. A baby, let me,

you know. The net worth of the company's $395 million. Yeah. Yeah. And she's stunning. Do you know what I mean? Like honey is like one of my favorite movies. So I'm watching,

I think she's on Architectural Digest doing a house tour. I don't think I've seen her. And so I could be making this up. they're like, oh yeah, this is our bathroom and this is our kids. And then she goes, and this is the laundry. And it's like this big, beautiful laundry. She's got like two washing machines, two dries. And it's like, it's almost like a flat layer of all the beautiful detergents and products.

And they're all like chemical free and blah, blah, blah. And at the time, I'm like, she's spending a lot of time in the laundry for what's usually like a quickly fucking do the stuff. In an architecture, they never show you the laundry. And I'm like, why are we spending so much time? And it's like all her products and all her stuff. Gotcha. Have I made that up, Charles? If you have a look on the screen there, like behind her.

Yeah. Yeah, and that's the kit. Oh, that's a, oh, yeah, there's all the products lined up. Yeah. And like, she's having a big chat about laundry stuff. And I'm like, at the time, like, why are we? This feels heavy on the, yeah. Luckily, her house is so neat and tidy.

Ryan wouldn't have watched her AD if she had a disgusting, messy house like me. Charles, he's want to randomly scrub somewhere else, see where we land. was that a screenshot oh that's good from you Charles oh very tidy house yeah you'd film you'd film there oh you would film there and they have yeah yeah

all right one more Charles oh sorry can we just oh it looks like both of her feet are not broken that's good for her probably why our house is so clean although an ankle sock is an interesting choice I think it's a slipper mm

would make more sense yeah Yeah, good for her. Oh, so, oh, that's a bit messy. You won't like that. Sorry, there's something on the bench that you won't like that. You and Jessica Alba both have a booth table, which is nice. Me and Jessica Alba both have messy houses.

Fucking send that to the Daily Mail. Both can swim under waves. Both can stand up paddleboard. Both have messy houses. And the headline is like, two beautiful Australians currently. Jessica Alba and her lookalike. Both have messy. Kitchens.

Jessica Elba and Taylor Swift look alike. Oh, that's neat and tidy. I bet it doesn't look like that always. No, like it's a kid's. You wouldn't have a house that was messy, would you? It's a kid's playroom. They're never clean. I'd be embarrassed if I had a house that looked like that.

I love that Charles is doing her dirty on every facial expression that we've shown. Right on cute. Right on cute. Yeah. How's the view, though? Oh, look at that cool slide. Yeah. Oh, do they not have a pool?

I think it's that thing on the right. Me? Ew, it doesn't have a pool. Have you ever watched, like, you know, that those memes and it's like me watching fucking MKR? Oh, I don't have a pool. That pool's bigger than your block. That's huge. Have you seen those memes and it's like, while you're watching a cooking show or whatever?

And it's like, oh, I can't believe they served that fish with a red sauce or whatever, like, while I'm digging into my popcorn. Or like, me never cooked before. It's like, oh, yuck. I feel like this episode is similar to the time when we did an episode and couldn't be bothered, so we just watched The Night's Tale on TV. Oh, I liked that. And tried to guess who the actors were. Yeah.

Except we don't have an excuse today. You know, we forgot he didn't have a microphone. And it's me talking to him for like three minutes and we're like, no one getting here what you're saying. Love that for us. Are we still going? Yeah, honestly, I've got to go and clean the house. Yeah, same. Good banana matcher.

Matcha. Go fuck yourself. And also, fridge is still there. Love you, bye. Oh, the fridge is very messy. The fridge is really adding to the clutter of the home. You know what? I blame all of this on the fridge.

It's the fucking fridge's fault. Yeah, not the queen that's trying to fuck it off. We're back on. We're back on. We're back. We're back. Thank you.