Toni and Ryan - Raw Doggin' Ham

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

I refuse to elaborate on 'raw-dogging ham'. You must listen. Love u xCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to order Toni's book here!Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. We're going to have to make a bet. I'm going to go with Annalicia. Okay. But Cam, what were you saying before? Annalicia, maybe. Tony, you want to have a crack at it? I can't say anything. I'm going to back you, Ryan. Annalicia. In Sydney, Australia.

You can say it if you back me in. Hello. Hi, is that Annalicia? Sure is. Oh, have we Annalisha? Sure is. Woo-hoo! Have I got the name right? Yes. I pronounce it Annalisha, but plenty of people pronounce it Annalisha.

It just depends what part of Australia you're from, I think. It's different all over the country. Yeah, go to Melbourne. Southern Australia is different. Northern Australia is different. It's fine. I prefer Annalisha. I just think it's nicer.

Okay. Well, Annalisa, will you approve this podcast? I would love to. Woo-hoo! Yeah. Hi, it's Annalisa from Sydney and I approve this podcast. Yeah. All right, coming up today, an issue for celebrity Tony Lodge. You know this story, but you don't know it's coming up on the pod.

Oh, okay. Yeah, but it's the hard life of being a celebrity. Should you ask a real celebrity that knows? No, because a real celebrity might not have this issue. Oh. Was it that no one knows who I am? That I went to someone and said, don't you know who I am? And they went, nah.

No. She's a bitch, by the way. That's coming up soon. But first, normal or nah? And thank you to everyone who sent them through to the Facebook group, Tony and Ryan on Facebook. Hannah. Hi, Hannah.

Hannah says, my friend gets into an empty bathtub and sits in it while it's filling. Is my friend a complete psychopath? Yes. Yeah. Normal or nah? Nah. Fucking nah. It's not the nah, nah. Fucking nah.

It's not the right temperature yet. The salts haven't dissolved yet. They're like, you know when you like sit in a bath and if you've put, whether it's salts or whether it's like the soapy stuff, it's like slimy if it hasn't like puffed up yet. Now, I'm not an expert at like nailing the temp. So for me, it'll be like 10,000 degrees. Oh, but a bit an expert at, like, nailing the temp. So, for me, it'll be, like, 10,000 degrees. Oh, put a bit more cold in.

Oh, it's ice cold. And it sort of goes back and forth a little bit. Yeah. And you're going to sit through that? It's like that would be torture. Yeah. And also, it takes, like, a while for the bath to fill up. A long time.

Yeah. And that's kind of when you're, like, making yourself a cup of tea or, like, getting your book ready or, you know, whatever. Like, I don't know, what else do you do in the bath? By the time you filled the bath, it'd be time to get out. Yeah, you'd kind of be over the bath by then. So when you're in a bath, because of the shape of it, and Cam, you might need to support me on this,

because your legs are, like, together. Here we go. If a man is laying with his legs together, it's, like, not the most flattering. Like, it's a weird, I guess I'm saying I don't know where your junk goes. So I've heard this, like, Ricky Gervais bit. Like, love him or hate him, I find this really funny. He's like, as I get older and my, like, sack gets, like, looser,

he's like, now when I'm in the bath, my, like, balls, like, bob on the top of the water. Yeah, yeah. So they always, like, rose to the top. But he's like, but now they're, like, my sack, like, bobs on the feet. And he's like, so I'm in the bath like this. And, yeah. But I guess I was going to say, when that's going to happen

and then does your balls rise with the tide? Yeah. Instead of just getting in and it being there? So you're just sitting there waiting for the day to be risen? Oh. Yeah. It's like when you see a beached boat and then you go, how do you get it back out?

And they go, we just wait for the- Dingy. Dingy. a beached boat and then you go, how do you get it back out? And they go, we just wait for the- Boat dinghy. Dinghy. We just wait for the tide to come in and it'll lift itself. Oh, and also just like the idea of like the awkwardness of like, how you going? Like- He's just sitting in a room naked.

And like the lights still, like you haven't turned the light off yet and stuff. That's fucking awkward ass. Yeah, no, that's super awkward. Ed sent us a message. Hi, Ed. Ed says, in the office kitchen yesterday, this bloke pulls out a packet of ham. I'm thinking maybe, like, a ham and cheese sandwich. Maybe he's got a salad, put a bit of ham in there.

Oh, yum. Nah. This guy just sits down at the table and just eats a packet of ham. No other food, no condiments, no drink, just raw dog in the ham. Is this normal? It's a fuck nah from me. That's a nah. Yeah.

Not in a work kitchen. Yeah. If you're doing that as, you know, rock bottom time, do that at home. Hit rock bottom in the privacy of your own house. Yeah. I don't know about that but like actually having said that do you know what my mum used to do sometimes like in summer like you would have like cold meat and salad for dinner yeah and she would like roll the ham up and it would be like a tube of ham did you guys ever have that no we didn't live

in the fanciest restaurant sorry um yeah Sorry. Yeah, you've got to buy tickets to that Michelin star baby. Yeah, and we would have like cold meat and salad if it was really hot. Yeah. And that would be like rolled up ham. Yeah, but it's rolled up ham on salad. Yeah. The salad is what makes it okay. Right, because it becomes like then a meal.

Yeah. Whereas this way you're just like raw dog in the ham. You're just raw dog in the ham and it'll be slimy coming out of that plastic. I have done that drunk on Christmas. Oh, that's not in the work – you didn't plan ahead. Yeah. You didn't go, what should we have for Christmas this year? I'm trying to help this guy.

I'm really trying. And don't get me wrong, if there's ham in the fridge, I'll sneak a bit of ham. Sneak a slice, yeah. But I'm not rolling up to a work kitchen. Yeah, nah. And it's like you planned this. We need a bit of ham. Sneak a slice, yeah. But I'm not rolling up to a work kitchen. Yeah, nah. And it's like you planned this. We need a packet of ham. You got up in the morning and went, what will I have for lunch today?

I'll just take a packet of ham. Yeah. Oh, grab me a pack of ham. Nah. Nah. I'm going to say nah. And Ed, I would maybe, are you okay, Dad? He's coming up.

I'll maybe double check. I saw this meme the other day about her wife. Sorry. A wife was talking about her husband who's like now a meat smoking guy. Oh, they live in Perth. Yep. Yeah. He's found his personality.

He's midlife crisis. Better start smoking some meat, I guess. Yeah. And she goes, oh, well, I mean, there's worse things that a midlife crisis guy could go through, I'm sure. So at least he's making some meals. And she's like, no, there's no salad. a midlife crisis guy could go through, I'm sure. So at least he's making some meals. And she's like, no, there's no salad. There's no chips on the side.

Oh, it's just a big bowl of meat. Yeah. Yeah. And, like, I reckon you'd get over a day. Yeah. Like, you would get fucking over it. Yeah, or you roll over and, like, your partner's not in the bed and you go, where are they?

And they're out at the back with the barbecue. Like, I'm glad you're happy, but, like, I'd love a vegetable the bed and you go, where are they? And they're out at the back with the barbecue, like, I'm glad you're happy but, like, I'd love a vegetable. Yeah. Could you pop some corn on, you know? Yeah, a little bit of fibre. I'm planning on pooing in the next month. Yeah.

Oh. Brace yourself. There's a few excellent slash terrible puns in this story. We'll be the first to, like, unintentional but let's see who's the first to pick up on them and throw them out there. Okay. This normal or nah has been sent through by Bob Harrow. Hi, Bob Harrow.

Once I finished a cup of tea, I normally suck the bag to get the final drops of tea out of it. Is this normal or nah? Is this normal or nah? Normally, the words suck the bag to get the final drops will really fucking do it for me. That or. But in this context. Well, it's like truly being teabagged, isn't it?

That's so fucking weird, dude. Fuck. How would you describe it to someone named Bob Harrow? I don't think I get it. Do I not get it? What's my favourite one? That it's harrowing? Well, it is.

It absolutely is. That's a nah from me. I like, so if I do the tea bag And then I Sorry Tony's being very graphic With her hands Then I like

Pick the tea bag up With a spoon Wrap the Thing around it And like Yeah and like Squeeze the last bits out If I'm being lazy

I'll like press it up Against the side of the mug We've all been here mate No judgment here Safe place We've all done that And you just hope for the best. Sometimes you just fucking fling it out, don't you?

Yeah. But wouldn't sucking the teabag be, like, really bitter? Yeah. Like, it's like when you leave a green teabag in for too long, it's like fucking, like. No, you can't have that. Cut your own mouth off. It's so disgusting.

Yeah, I definitely. Oh, everyone's freaking out. Yeah, we're freaking out. Yeah, no, that's definitely a nah. I'd rather do the raw ham. The ham thing. That definitely- Finally.

If you were doing that at a work kitchen, that'd be a real ham job. Would you prefer to be teabagged or give a ham job? Sorry. That's all right. That's okay. We'll move on. Madison asked, normal or nah? Hi, Madison.

Cutting a sandwich with a big knife on a dinner plate. The sharp knife hitting the porcelain or whatever the fuck a plate's made of. It just, ugh. Madison said, it's a nah from me, but my partner did it the other day. He thinks it's normal. I like cutting it on a chopping board, which is a flat surface, yes, and not a plate, because the plate has curves, and I feel like I'm going to break the plate or break the sound.

The sound. Nah, that's a nah from us. It's absolutely a nah. I've done it, but it's a fucking nah. It's not good. I will go and get a chopping board, like get it out of the cupboard, put it on the counter just to do one chop to avoid that situation. I normally, I use a chopping board heaps.

Like I normally like, if I make a piece of toast, I like make my toast on a chopping board heaps. Like I normally like if I make a piece of toast, I like make my toast on the chopping board and then I'll like take the chopping board to the couch. Are chopping boards underrated? They're the most versatile thing in the kitchen. I use it all the time. So like I would already be having like sliced up my cheese or onion or whatever was going in my sandwich, salad, whatever.

Like that would be already on the chopping board. So then I would cut on the chopping board and then slide the knife underneath, hold it with the top of my hand, and that's how I would move it. That's great. Well, I actually like your idea of just skip the middleman, just then take the board down to the couch. Just take the chopping board down. That's what I normally do.

Is that normal or nah? It's definitely nah, but it's definitely sick. It's really – like I've got like small – So convenient. And then you don't have to clean a plate. If you've got like one of those big board ones, like you guys have one of those, but I've got like smaller ones that I use to do that with

because I'm like if it's a couple of pieces of toast or a sand bowl or something, yeah, just take the fucking, take the chopping board down. That's life advice from Tony Lodge, everyone. Oh, yeah. Stay tuned for more. Well, we've got some life and marriage advice from my grandma coming up.

Oh, it's all about a chopping board, I bet. Sorry, you stole your Thunder Betty. Hi, it's Annalisa from Sydney and you're listening to Tony Uratan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapions from the Patreon. Yage Song, thank you so much. Chris Riley, Ginny Rose, Harrison Johnson. Yesterday we had Bryson Johnson with the fake name. Now we've got Harrison Johnson. Is that coincidence?

Chat. Do you think? I mean, there's not many people with the last name Johnson on this planet. So yesterday we had the fake celebrity name with Bryson Johnson. Yep. And now we've got Harrison Johnson. Sorry, what's that? Harrison Johnson.

Harrison Johnson. And Nathan Kerwood. Oh, we're about to have a poem from Betty Johnson. What was the secret celebrity story? Oh, guys, Tony's been going through the fucking walls this morning. Oh, what happened? Tell me about it. Between our office and Tony's house, there is a post office.

And obviously, because the mail is fucking awful, they're like, oh, we tried to come to your house. We can't pick it up. So Tony rolls into the post. Because this was actually, can I just say one thing? This was actually not Australia Post. This was like a courier. And I've sent them a scathing fucking email.

I bet. Even though I did say I turned a new leaf with the post. I have with Australia Post, but this post has really fucked me off. Yeah. So what, they couldn't get it to you? So they've dropped it off at the post office? At like the parcel, you know how some like news agents are like a parcel pickup or like a chemist or whatever yeah so tony celebrity tony lodge uh walks in and says can i have my package and do you not have a

driver's license do you not have id on you i don't have my wallet with me and because they ask for like you know when you do these kind of parcel pickups when you go to australia post you've got like in the app like a qr code that they can scan and stuff but these ones they just send you like go to this place here's the pin number yeah and i had the pin number and they so i was like that should be fine and then they were like no you need id as well so tony doesn't have id but i said there's literally she's we've got a book here in the office with your name on it. If you just need a proof of you, do you want me to take your book down?

And I said, well, no, that's so embarrassing because what if they still went, well, no. You've obviously made that in Photoshop yourself. How do we know that you're Tony Lodge in this parcel? I'm like, mate, everyone knows Tony Lodge. Just give her a parcel. Yeah. I go, does the name Bryson Johnson mean anything to you?

Who is the publisher of your book again? Alan and Unwin. Would the good people of Alan and Unwin decide to put this face and this name on a cover if they weren't one and the same? It's a fucking destroyed system. It's keeping the little guy down. Should I go down there with my phone and show them some YouTube clips? Can you imagine actually? I wonder if that's happened to people before like if anyone works

in the service industry or like you know like a hotel reception or a bar or a post office or something i would love to know if any celebrity or so they reckon yeah has ever gone don't you know like here's my instagram or like here's my whatever. I would love to know if someone's ever done that. Do you reckon they would have? Probably. Surely I. I reckon there's times when say you're in a hotel

and you're there to like film some content or take a photo and be like, oh, I'm staying at hashtag hotel, you know, that they're like, can I get a nice room because I'm here to take photos and the person at the desk is like, what? And they're like, they'll whip the Instagram out and go, see my profile? Like, I'm here to do that. Well, you remember that happened to you.

When? When you went to the unnamed location. What was the unnamed location? To film that content and they went, nah, the influencers came yesterday and you're like, yeah, I couldn't come yesterday. And they were like, yeah, they're actually all hot people. And young and thin. There's no way that you're part of that group.

And then the company that owns certain bowling alleys said, we listen to your podcast. We listen to your podcast. And we've been banned. Yeah, it's a real strike against our name. Anyway. I did forget about that. Yeah.

Are you with the influencers? Nah, they're the young skinny people. What are you doing again? What are you doing again? Anyway. What was it, last weekend? No, it would have been the weekend before. Cousin Rach got married to Darcy.

Welcome to the family, Darcy. Very exciting. She looked beautiful. I follow Rach on Instagram and I've been very much enjoying the wedding span. During the vows, my grandma had a poem. Not just like in the ceremony later, but like in the vows part. Before they were actually even like married. Yeah, like in the bit and like the celebrant read it out and stuff,

which is like high stakes real estate in terms of speeches. Okay, hang on. So pause. So your grandma Betty, who your daughter's named after, her middle name. Mabel Betty, love you. Love you. She wrote the poem.

Did she read it as well? No, the celebrant read it out, which is actually the same celebrant as Bridget and I's wedding. And I called her by the Bridget and I's wedding. And I called her by the wrong name and I didn't realise until the next day. Oh, no. You did not. I kept calling her, yeah, I think so.

I was like, oh, good to see you, Nat. How you been? And then Bridget was like, oh, it's good to see you, Megan, wasn't it? And I went, oh, fuck, mate. It's not even close. Maybe she thought you said, mate. Good to see you, Matt. But she was so great and I really liked her and that's why we recommended her. So I don't want her to think, oh, this asshole doesn't remember my name.

He doesn't even like me. I mean, she got the $600 out of it or whatever it costs. How much does a celebrant cost? Mate, are you joking? Should I become a celebrant? Because I'm about to find out how rich you get. I mean, supposedly you are a celebrant. No, I've never said that I was.

I said I would become one. You said I'll take your money. I'm in the process of doing that currently. Yeah, no, mate. They don't miss you. Really? Yeah. I'm in the process of doing that currently. Yeah, no, mate. They don't miss you. Really? Yeah. I didn't think it would be that much.

No, yeah. Fucking, I might get my skates on. Do you think I could get a PhD in being a wedding celebrant? You can actually get a PhD in pretty much anything you want. Well, I'll just do that because then I'd be like Dr. Wedding. Yeah, Doctor of Ceremonies. A PhD. Pretty huge clit. Yeah. Doctor of Ceremonies. A PhD. Pretty huge clit.

Sorry. Anyway. Anyway, back to the little poem from my grandma. Okay, so the celebrant kind of- My grandma's probably going to listen to this now, and she would hear that terrible joke. Mabel's great grandma. I'm really sorry, Grandma.

What I was going to say is, so they're doing all the beautiful stuff and then what the celebrant goes, and now a poem from Rachel's grandma. Yeah. Oh, beautiful. That's so lovely. Did they film the ceremony? Could we watch it? I don't know if that was – definitely a photographer.

I don't know about filming. You know, the videographers, they don't miss you either. Fucking right, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good for them. Do you reckon there's pressure on the celebrant to, like, nail the delivery?

Fuck yes. Because everyone goes, oh, that poem sucked. And then grandma's like, oh, she didn't read it right. I completely. Yeah. I mean, we've all been to, like, a wedding or even a funeral where the celebrant has, like, there's been, like, a wrong name or a wrong pronunciation or whatever

and you go, oh. You know what I mean? Like it's. One thing I love about our celebrant, which obviously is not her name. Nat slash Megan. Is that she knows it's not her day. It's the couple's day. So she's very professional and just like out of the way and just like,

because you know how some people are like, I've got the mic. It's my time to shine. It's not your time to shine. No, it's not your special day. If you know someone who's recently got married, share this with them. This is some advice from my grandma. How long have you been with Torbs?

Almost 10 years. I want you to think about him when you hear this. I think about him all the time. I'm really not thinking about him. Eric and I had 68 years of wedded bliss. We never considered divorce, but sometimes we considered murder. It doesn't even rhyme. Your life together will have its ups and downs.

It's how you bounce back that really matters. Togetherness is respect for each other, to know you're always there for each other, knowing when to react with a smile or a hug or a let's talk about it with each other. The three magic words of marriage are please, thanks and sorry. When you're wrong, own up. And when you're right, shut up.

Has there been a truer word spoken than that? That's nice. My grandma wishes you every happiness for your lives together. And didn't that just bring the house down? That's so beautiful. Were you expecting to hear the word murder? I wasn't. No. house down. That's so beautiful. Was the, were you expecting to hear the word murder? I wasn't. No. And I thought that

it would rhyme. Sorry, Betty. Yeah, I'm like, don't know why Betty didn't make that rhyme. It doesn't rhyme. What do you mean? Well, you said it was a poem. Poems don't have to rhyme. I think that a poem by definition rhymes. No. It's like a lovely passage it's still lovely i'm

just like can you google poem definition sure yeah let's fucking say her name is megan thompson celebrant and she's great great i love nat why the fuck do i call her i have no idea why you call her that um produce cam poem noun a piece of writing in which the expression of feelings and ideas is given intensity by particular attention to diction, sometimes involving rhyme, rhythm and imagery. So it was a 50-50 on whether

it was going to rhyme and it didn't. So that's okay. You win Samuel. Let's call Grandma. Oh no, don't because she's going to think I'm an arsehole. Can I ring you back where I'm in a busy meeting? Oh, no worries. I'll chat to you later.

All right, bye. You're lucky. She's busy. Yeah, she's got a meeting with her counsellor She heard your feedback What rhymes with murder What does rhyme with murder Hurder Like as in like

Yeah she told the truth you should have heard her Yes we did consider murder Hurder Hardly know her Yeah Yeah, she told the truth. You should have heard her. Yes, we did consider murder. Oh, murder. Hardly know her. Yeah, murder. Hardly know her. She's obviously not a fan of the poem.

No, that beautiful word. No, I already said that it was a beautiful poem. I was just expecting it to rhyme. And that's okay. Tough crowd. No, that's all right. You know, when I'm wrong, I'm wrong. And you're right, so you can shut up, as Betty explained. Have you seen that meme recently where it's like a TikTok trend

and it's like me calling people while I'm in the car and them not answering, but then you get home and they call you back and you go, well, no, I wanted to talk to you then. I don't want to talk to you now. Yeah, I'm actually done. Your grandma's going to call you later and you're going to go. I'm not recording now, Grandma. Yeah, like I'm not the guy I was before.

I don't need to talk to you now. No, I'm all good. I'm all good. So will I be given a few minutes to make a speech at your wedding in the future if you ever get proposed to? Well, I'm not engaged, not planning a wedding. I also, like, don't think that I would want, like, a big wedding anyway.

Yeah, so I think for my speech I am. Maybe we'll just have a special event just so that you can say something and then. Can we have, like, your wedding, like, the episode? So there's, like, a podcast episode that's, like, us, like, delivering, like, the podcast version. And then you can, like, have your, like your whatever formal one with Torbs on the weekend. But on Friday.

No time off. On Friday. He's going to be coming on Monday. On Friday we'll have the podcast version. For a video show. Yeah, and I'll make a speech. And so I guess what I'm getting at is do you require that to rhyme? No.

I think that a rhyming thing would be cheesy. I wish he didn't bring that up. It's a wedding, not a bloody circus. Anyway, I'm not engaged, so let's not get ahead of ourselves. But you can have a few minutes. Would you prefer a limerick or a agnostic poem? I'd like an agnostic poem. My love to see it That I Was shared into our group

By Matt Trafford He says I saw this in another Facebook group And thought you loved to see that There's nothing like a good neighbour Who just loves to let the neighbourhood kids Have fun Yep

And it's a photo Of like a handwritten note And it says I tried to knock on your door a few times Could you please put this back in my mailbox Thanks so much And then underneath it says, I tried to knock on your door a few times. Could you please put this back in my mailbox? Thanks so much. And then underneath it says, dear neighbour, my neighbour is Emma and I live across the street at blah number.

Would it be okay if I shot some hoops on your basketball hoop after school some days? So obviously this neighbour has like a basketball hoop that they never use or maybe their kids use it sometimes. And the driveway is like the classic suburban place for a hoop. Yeah. And then it's got like a yes or maybe their kids use it sometimes. And the driveway is like the classic suburban place for a hoop. Yeah. And then it's got like a yes or no tick box and then comments underneath. And the neighbour has like ticked the yes box and then underneath said,

absolutely, have fun. And like obviously popped it back in Emma's mailbox so that she knew that she was allowed to go and like play basketball in the driveway. That is cute as fuck. Isn't that the most adorable thing ever? Now that you live out in the burbs, you might get cute shit like this happen to you. Well, since we've had the baby, we've had neighbours

drop off scones. Oh. And we got a book from their neighbour. That's so sweet. Oh, fuck. What? Oh, I've got a present for Mabel that I meant to bring in today. I totally forgot.

Anyway. So that. What? Oh, I've got a present for Mabel that I meant to bring in today. I totally forgot. Anyway. So that. What? You've forgotten all their names. So was there a time when you and Torbs were, like, doing it but weren't, like, together yet? How did you have that conversation of, like, are we, like, boyfriend and girlfriend?

I asked him out and I cried. What do you mean? Literally, I was him out and I cried. What do you mean? Literally, I was standing there and I had to go to work. I had a shift at Coles. And so I needed to leave his house in like the next 15 minutes. And I was staying there and I was like, yes, I better go. He's like, okay, cool. And I was like, so like did like you like maybe want to, you know,

like be like my boyfriend, like, officially. Like, because I really like you. And, you know, like, you don't have to say anything now. Like, you can let me know later. But, like, yeah, what do you reckon? And he, like, kissed me to shut me up. Good. Yeah.

And then he said, yes. And then I was like, I've got to go. Beautiful. And I literally had to leave because i had a fucking shift at the coles if i know anything about hollywood i know you haven't been there but if i know anything about hollywood is most stories end with the girl being like sorry gotta get to the dally at coles yeah yeah and in the biopic of my life um but yeah so that's how we like became official so wrote, Bridget used to have this chalkboard in the kitchen

and it was like to, you know, like get milk, like a little list sort of thing. And I wrote, like, and did a box, like, yes, no, tick, tick the box. But it was in her house. She just locked, she ticked no, but she locked the door. Yeah. And so you couldn't get back in to see it anyway. You go, I've got a ship to delhi

but no because i used the yeah i was like are we boyfriending it and tick the box it's very and she ticked yes oh thank god spoiler alert spoiler yeah um beautiful cute um my love to see it is we've talked before about the awkwardness of when you see, like, a colleague, like, at the supermarket. And you're like, we just were. Like, you're not not friendly, but you're like. Yeah. Or you've seen them during the day and you're like, I don't want to catch up with this guy.

Do I say hi? Do I, like, not in a mean way, but, like, I don't really give a shit. Oh, what are you up to? Yeah, yeah. Or it's even worse when you see them at the beginning of a shop and then you bump into them at the top and the bottom of every aisle. Oh, yeah. Oh, grabbing some cereal.

Oh, some milk to go with the cereal that I saw you getting before. Ah! Yeah. Rig says I told my colleagues that I have a twin who lives nearby. So if they see me, they'll stop and think twice before saying hi to me. And if I straight up ignore them, maybe they'll assume it's my brother. Yeah, give that a round of applause. You have to commit, though, because if you're going to go like,

then they know. They're going to know. But if you just sort of glance straight past them, they're like, oh, fuck, what's going on? It must be Riggs' brother. That's a risky lie, though, isn't it? Then what if, like, he gets married or married or has like a 40th birthday party or something and people go, oh, where's your twin brother?

And he goes... Well, he's not going to invite the losers he works with to his wedding. Gotcha. I get it. Yeah. Oh, great. Yeah. I get it.

And I love to see that, Riggs. Love to see that. Keep up the good work, bro. Good idea. That's hot shit. See you tomorrow. We're back tomorrow for a video show. Tomorrow's show is fucked. Great. Love to hear that back tomorrow for a video show. Tomorrow's show's fucked.

Great. Love to hear that. It is a video show. And whilst I recommend you watch all of the video shows, you can stream them on Spotify, on the app, or put it on your smart TV, there is a particular thing that, like, is a... You need to see it.

We can explain it it and it just... Okay. All right. Do you know what I'm talking about, Cam? It's the... They had a surgery. Oh. Oh, God.

Guys, I don't want to say strap yourself in, but strap yourself in. I also brought a prop. Did you? Yeah. Oh, this is very scary. Yeah. I'm on the record as not being into prop comedy.

Okay. Chat to you tomorrow. Love you. Bye.