Toni and Ryan - Rough and Ready!

Episode Date: December 12, 2021

I (Toni) need your advice on what to take to a family Christmas, we cover when to return a gift, and we explain Lara's Bingle. Love ya T xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hello, Rae-Anne. It's Tony and Rae-Anne from Australia. Hi, guys. Hello. Now, Tony doesn't know this yet, but, Tony, you and I have actually ruined Rae-Anne's life. For fuck's sake, I can't.

What did we do? What did we do this time? You know how last week on the show we were talking about the fact that a lot of strippers and adult workers would say that they're an accountant just so no one asks any questions? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Raeann, what do you do for a living? I don't do it, but my husband is an accountant for a living.

A real accountant? But is he? Is he or is he? He, well, this is a problem. He's caused a crisis, and now he's worried that he's a stripper and he doesn't know it. Or that every time he meets someone and says,

hey, I'm an accountant, they go, okay, mate, are you? Yeah, basically. So apparently we've just been going around thinking, people thinking he's an accountant and really they think he's a stripper. And he's been going around singing that like, I'm an accountant. Do-do-do-do-do. Yeah.

Thinking like he's finally getting his due. And really, apparently he's just showing people he is a stripper. Except if someone thought that you were actually a stripper, that's a compliment, isn't it? Absolutely. Because they're like, okay, you're making money with that bod. Yeah, great. Yeah, I get it.

Like it's important work. Someone has to do it. A hundred percent. He's good looking. Well, as someone who was an accountant myself. Okay, mate. You're not making money off that bod. No, but that's what I mean.

No one ever said, but are you really? Because everyone went, well, obviously. Obviously, you're an accountant. But as is the case with Rayanne, when she says that about her partner, they're like, well, obviously, she's doing all right for herself. Yeah. Oh, if those walls could talk. I mean, you both have a very similar body type, if I'm honest,

and a good beard. So I'm sure loads of people thought you were a stripper, I'm sure. Thank you. And even if that's not true, thank you for saying it. That's very sweet of her. That's your Christmas present. Yeah, Merry Christmas. Thank you.

I do appreciate that, actually. Now, I believe, Rae-Ann, you and Tony have something in common with your favourite TV shows? We do. We both love the Jersey Shore. Oh, my God. Nice. Are you watching Jersey Shore Family Vacation?

Of course. They just dropped a new trailer for the upcoming season. I know. I can't wait for it to be January. I believe you've – what's your nickname? You do the roller derby, roller hockey stuff, right? Cool. I don't play anymore.

I'm a retired roller derby player. And in roller derby, you have nicknames, you have like synonyms that you skate under. And my roller derby name was Ray Wow to demonstrate my love. Nice. For the Jersey Shore and Jay Wow. I did two weeks of roller derby name was Ray Wow to demonstrate my love for the Jersey Shore and Jay Wow. I did two weeks of roller derby. Really?

Did you really? You two are the same person. Two weeks. Like I did it and it really, really hurt my body and I got an insane amount of bruises and I was like, I'm not fit enough for this. But my roller derby, like, pseudonym was Skirt Cobain. Oh, I like that. I like that.

Thank you. So good. As a born and raised Seattleite, I especially appreciate that from you. Rae-Ann, we're literally the same person. My boyfriend's a stripper as well. Rae-Ann, I was wondering if we could get you to approve the podcast for today. I would love to approve the podcast. It is my absolute dream and pleasure. Oh, amazing. Rayanne, thank you

for being A, such a legend, and then B, for supporting us. We really do appreciate it. Thank you so much. Thanks for doing the podcast and thanks for calling me. You've literally made my week. So thank you so much. Thank you. That's so kind. Well, we love you, and I'm sure that we'll catch up again soon.

On the world tour. Yeah, sounds great. Bye, Rae-Ann. Bye. Have a great day. Bye. Hi, this is Rae-Ann from Tennessee, and I approve this podcast. Yeah. This is Ryanne from Tennessee, and I approve this podcast.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Hi, happy Monday. Happy Monday. My name is Ryanne. I've written a little intro for you. Oh. And by written, I mean I saw something on TikTok and it reminded me of you. So let me... You know, I can speak for you. Oh. And by written, I mean I saw something on TikTok and it reminded me of you. So let me... You know, I can speak for myself.

Ladies and gentlemen, the captain of the Tony and Ryan podcast. She's vaccinated, caffeinated and always recently masturbated, Tony Lodge in the studio. Thank you. Yes, yes, yes. I'm not vaccinated. I am double vaxxed in case anybody is questioning that. I am.

And you are caffeinated because we just had an iced latte on the way in. I had a green tea. I'm not recently. That's a shame for you. I'm fine. Are you? Yeah. Well, coming up on tomorrow's show,

things you can say to Santa Claus and in the bedroom. And after that, you might need some cold water, mate. A lot's happening. A lot's happening. Always. I need some advice from you and from anybody listening around what you take to somebody's house when they tell you not to bring a thing. Oh, I hate that.

And for someone like you, that would stress you out no end. I would rather somebody just said, bring a coleslaw, bring a chocolate cake, done. Then you know what's expected. You know what you need to do to not get annoyed. Yeah, or be a social pariah. What's a social pariah? Like if you feel left out or whatever.

Or then if you go, all right, well, I'll just a kind gesture. So then you make a potato salad, but somebody else has brought a potato salad, too much potato salad. And for you turning up to someone else's house empty handed, do you feel rude? I would never do it. Even if they've specifically said, please do not bring anything. You're like, cool, I'll bring some chocolate.

I'll do something. I feel like I would still bring something. Yeah. I just feel, especially if somebody else is cooking, I always feel really guilty. Yeah. Like ages ago when we had breakfast together, I spoke to your wife, Bridget, and I was like,

what do you want me to bring? She was like, oh, nothing. But I brought a really nice bottle of champagne. That was a lovely touch. And I was like, oh, we can have mimosas because I knew that we'd already planned that. And, you know, luckily I did. We went through the first bottle very quickly.

Quickly, yep. But that made you feel like you were contributing because Bridget done lots of cooking and stuff. Great. Yeah, and it's just nice. Yeah, so A, for you listening, what is your thing that you bring? What's your go-to, yeah. But where have you found yourself, Toni Lodge?

So I am spending Christmas with a family that isn't mine. Is it my family? It's not. It's not your family. Would you like to thank anyone for the offer, though? Well, there was a couple of offers, a couple reneged, but then there was a final offer. But I am going to be spending Christmas with my friend Jane's family

in Albury. Great. So for anybody that's not in Aussie, which is, you know, 25% of you, it's about four hours drive from Melbourne. So like Torbs and I will be able to get out of the city for a few days. We're staying with her family. Lovely family, Jane's family. So lovely.

I've met her mum and dad a few times. Like they're great. They're so, so kind. And because they are so kind, I's family. So, so lovely. I've met her mum and dad a few times. Like, they're great. They're so, so kind. And because they are so kind, I'm assuming they said, come stay for a few days, don't bring anything. No. So I spoke to Jane's dad on the phone and he goes, mate, we're so excited for you guys to come.

He actually listens to this podcast. Hi, Robbie, if you listen. Come up. We'll have a great time. It's going to be so much fun. It's just so casual. And he said, and don't fucking go buying presents or anything. I love Rob so much.

And instantly I'm like, okay, cool. That was my go-to. You've given me a meltdown for the next few weeks? Well, yeah, because I'm like, okay, I'll bring like a big hamper or, you know, a couple bottles of champagne because I can do anything if it's just paying for something. Like if someone was like, hey, can you build this thing or make this thing?

No, but I can pay for it and somebody else can do it. Imagine if he said, like, can I bring anything? And he goes, yes, I would like you to construct anything. You're like, oh, no. I'm like, oh, it's actually not my bag. I guess I'll go to Phillip Island with Ryan's family. Torbs will make you a synthesiser if that's what you're after. But the parts will take a while to come from Kentucky.

Anyway, so he says don't go doing anything stupid and bring in a fucking present or anything. And I was like, well, that's fine, but can you let me know how you'd like us to contribute? Like we can bring food up from Melbourne or we can give money or whatever because we're going for a few days. In between Melbourne and Albury there's a few nice wine regions. Even if you're like, I'll pick up a few bottles on the way through. Yeah, we're going for a few days. In between Melbourne and Albury, there's a few nice wine regions. Even if you're like, I'll pick up a few bottles on the way through.

Yeah, we'll grab stuff on the way. We can bring anything from the city or we can contribute because we're going to be staying with them a few days. Yeah, you don't want to be feeling like a freeloader. Exactly, and you don't want to be those assholes that overstay their welcome, don't contribute anything and whatever. So instantly, my mind goes into overdrive and I'm thinking, what the hell do I bring?

If you want to burn Tony to the ground, here's what you need to say to her. Nothing. Oh, mate, it's fine, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. It's like magic, like my kryptonite. Sometimes I'll ask you to do something that I don't need just so you've got that thing to do. Just so I've got something to do.

I'm like a child. So instantly I'm like, what do I take? And have you come up with ideas or are you at stage zero? I feel like booze is a really easy one. Booze is easy. Were we talking about that last week when you were talking about your KK? Someone replied in the Tony Ryan.

Oh, Secret Santa. Secret Santa. Someone replied and said, oh, at my workplace there's a no alcohol rule. And I was like, oh. And no gift cards. Oh, mate, do you want us to participate on that? Yeah, see you later, any idea.

Just tell me to get a new job. We'll be at sick.com applying for a new job. This is awful. Yeah, I know. But it does take away, like, all those immediate things and I think it's a really lazy gift. Booze? Well, yeah, because it's just like so.

I feel like gift vouchers are just like don't even bother. Just put cash in an envelope and go. I'd actually, I think that my mother would come back to life and hit me in the mouth if I gave someone a gift card. She fucking hates that shit. So I wouldn't do that. Unless, hang on, there is one disclaimer there, unless it was a gift card for like an experience.

Like if you gave someone like a gold class voucher for like a fancy movie night out. Hot air balloon. Yeah, something like that. So we always used to do wine when Bridget was a winemaker. And I think, and tell me if I'm wrong here, because you like, it can be a lazy gift, but I always say, oh, what's your favourite kind of wine?

Bridget probably makes something. And if they go, oh, I like this sort, and I go, oh, well, Bridget makes that sort. And the fact that Bridget herself made it and I actually said, what sort do you want? I'll get you that sort. At least I've put in some effort rather than going, I've picked up any random thing off a shelf and just tap my card

and here you go. I think that's thoughtful. And because in that situation, well, I actually messaged Bridget not that long ago because a really, really nice bottle that she gave me as a gift sat in our, and we were saving it for a special occasion. Yeah. And then we did like a really fancy dinner date night during COVID.

So it was just Torbs and I at home and we made like a fancy dinner. And we opened that bottle of wine and it was gorgeous. And I messaged Bridget and I said, we've just opened that bottle of wine that you gave us and it was lovely. Anyway, so I feel like booze is such an easy thing to do, but we're going to be staying for a few days. Do we do like a gift hamper or do I buy everyone a pair of underwear or do I buy, like what do I do?

I think you should write him a poem. Do you reckon that'll work? If you want something to be thoughtful. And Rob is. Is that weird? That's fucking. No, I'm not listening. That's not a good idea.

He is a journalist and a bit of a sports historian. He is, yeah. So the reason I bring that up is because, like, he enjoys the, you know, he's a wordsmith. Okay. And so the fact that you've put some thought into this and used some beautiful language and said how much you appreciate Christmas and the family and you go, ladies and gentlemen,

thank you for having Alex Torbenstein and I in the house. Yep. I have prepared something. I reckon they'll be like, oh, what has she prepared? No, but see, then I'm the awkward friend, like Jane's brought this weird friend with her to Christmas. Who's yelling at me. Who's decided that they're going to say a poem at Christmas dinner

and go, I'd like everybody to sit down for five minutes while I recite my poem. Actually, I take it back. This sounds awful. I'm not doing that. Okay, is there, and I know your partner Torbs, I take it back. This sounds awful. I'm not doing that. Okay. Is there, and I know your partner Torbs does most of the cooking. He does, yeah.

Is there something, even though they're obviously going to cook and do everything, I feel like in terms of just showing your appreciation, if you were to say something like, hey, I know you've got it all covered, but Torbs' favourite thing to make is this special dessert or whatever. We'd love to, like, make it when we're there and contribute. Like, we'd love to do that for you. So I did think that because I've talked on this podcast before about how I really like making tiramisu.

Yes. And that it's delicious. I was going to say perfect for Christmas, but wrong. Perfect any time. Perfect any time. I'd eat one now if we had one. Should we order one on Uber Eats? Yeah.

I'll make one. Like, right, we're all your busy podcasters. I've got something else to do. Anyway, is it weird to rock up and go, just give this your kitchen? Is that rude? No, absolutely not. That's fine. Do you reckon? And the fact that you go, hey, we love making tiramisu. I'd love to make this dessert.

Yep, so whenever the time is right, I'll just whip it together. No, that's absolutely fine. Bridget made a salad for a family thing. The fruit salad? No, no. Didn't. Bridget made a salad for a family thing. The fruit salad? No, no. Didn't go the fruit one, a different one. But it had. Because that's what she does for your dad's family Christmas, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. The fruit salad. They love the fruit salad. See, I know your family. It was this salad that had like a quark or a yogurt or something in it. And she's like, well, I don't want to make it at home because. Because it will go fucked. But yeah.

So it's when she arrived, went, oh, I just got to whip this together. Can I just jump in the kitchen? And like, of course, mate. And then she comes out and whips it up. It's all fresh. Like that's when she arrived, went, oh, I've just got to whip this together. Can I just jump in the kitchen? And they're like, of course, mate. And then she comes out and whips it up. It's all fresh. Oh, that is nice, actually. Yeah, so do you reckon you guys could whip up a tiramisu? Yeah, well, because I can brew the coffee and make the mixture at home

because we've got like a coffee machine at home. So we could do all of that, take that with us to Albury and then make the rest of the stuff there. Maybe that would be nice, actually. That would be really nice. I would take all this. And they've got coals to Albury and then make the rest of the stuff there. Maybe that would be nice actually. That would be really nice. I would take all this and they've got coals in Albury. I could go get some cream and some mascarpone. Albury and Wodonga is a big town.

Yeah, I know. It's like 100,000 people. Yeah, I know. I'm saying they've got a coals. I'm giving them the credit. They've got a coals. They've probably got seven. I'll find something.

I'll find something. Please report back. I will. Thanks for the advice. I needed that. Please report back. I will. Thanks for the advice. I needed that. You're welcome. By the way, how much, if you were to split it in terms of a ratio, percentage-wise, how much of the tiramisu would be made by you

and how much by Torbs if you were to, like, split it? 100% me. What? I actually made the, oh, he helped brew the coffee only because I was busy whipping something else. But he was just pressing go on the coffee machine. Well, if you want to see how good Tony is in the kitchen, in the next few days there is a video going out of Tony

and I trying to make gingerbread houses that we filmed in my kitchen. Yep. I'm actually really excited about this. I'll let people watch that before they decide whether they think you're capable of doing the whole tiramisu or not. This is gingeritch Up. Is that fair? Is that fair?

No. Hey, speaking of Christmas, you know those little bags and like Christmas presents and stuff, those bags that are like Christmassy bags that you put the present in? A stocking or like a Santa sack or a festive gift bag. Like a festive gift bag. And basically. God, I was ready with those, wasn't I?

Yeah, ready to go. Yeah, wow. So if you, instead of wrapping it, you just put it in the bag. Do you not like that? What's wrong with you? No. What? No.

Gifts need to be wrapped. They need to be fucking wrapped. What about those festive bags? No. They need to be wrapped inside the festive bag. And you know how sometimes there is the, like, it's shaped for a bottle of wine, the bag. You don't like that either.

I just think that gift should be wrapped. I think a bottle of booze, it can go in those bags because, like, it's obviously a bottle of booze. But other stuff, no? Other stuff needs to be wrapped. Okay, well, the other week I bought one of those bags to put some, it was like two pairs of shorts and a whole bunch of undies for a cousin of mine. Yeah, you've got to put some, it was like two pairs of shorts and a whole bunch of undies for a cousin of mine.

Yeah, you've got to wrap it, mate. Anyway, I go and buy the bag and I walk into the store and all I'm after is this one bag because I've already got the stuff. I'm like, oh, actually, you're right, I can't be bothered wrapping it. Yeah, you can't be fucked, so you put it all in a bag. Put them in the bag. So I go into the store and the girl working there, bless her cotton socks, probably 14 years old.

She recognised you? No. Oh. I thought you were going to say it was like a celebrity encounter. No. No, that doesn't happen to me, only to you apparently because Tony's a pretty big deal. With three people advising her on her finances,

as we learnt last week. Yes, so you lazy arse bought the Christmas festive bag, yep. So I bought the bag and the girl working there says, is this for a gift? And I said... Well, what do you fucking think it's for? And I said, oh, yeah, it is. Yeah, it is.

Yeah. And she goes, oh, well, I'll leave the receipt in in case they want to return it. The festive bag? What? Is it for a gift? Yes. Well, yeah, but it's to present the gift in.

The bag itself is not the gift. Can you imagine giving someone a gift in a festive bag and you go, oh, let me know if the undies don't fit, mate. I can return them. They go, actually, the bag's not doing it for me. Do you have to receive a festive bag? So this is what I'm assuming has happened because this place sells gifts as well as the bags,

I'm guessing the boss has said, hey, it's Christmas season. Just ask them if it's for a gift, whatever they buy. Just ask if it's for a gift. And if it is, offer them the receipt. Because I get it. You buy a T-shirt, it's the wrong size. And like I said, bless her cotton socks. I buy the bag.

Is it for a gift? And she says, well, she says it's for a gift. And I wish I had got the CCTV footage to see my face when she said that because I was like, I don't even know if I'm going to be able to explain this to her because I've said yes it is. And she's like, well, if it's for a gift, then why wouldn't you want Then what if I want to respond? What a beautiful idiot.

Hey, this is Rayanne from Knoxville, Tennessee, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. I saw this meme the other day, and it was like, isn't it annoying that every single time you do something, it has to be your second rodeo? You know how people go, oh, not my first rodeo. You sign up to a rodeo and they're like, is this your first one? You go, yeah, it is.

They go, sorry. This is my first rodeo. That's a real shame. Not going to be very good then, is it? Tomorrow on the podcast. Do you want me to cut that out or leave it in? Pretty funny. I think you've answered your own question, but that's not.

Obviously it's in. Hey, tomorrow on the podcast, Tony and I have had our first family dispute. And the reason I say family dispute is this is a classic mum and dad are fighting about something. It definitely was. We both had the best intentions and we both definitely disagreed with the way we went about it.

And I'm interested in knowing what people who listen to this podcast think about the fight we had because I reckon most couples and especially parents and children also have this same fight in their house. So that's tomorrow. Definitely. And a quick shout-out to our champion tapas, Radek Janik, thank you so much, Brandon Richter, Danielle Steele, Tori West,

Kashiti Kajar, Indigo Rose Woodland, thank you so much. Well, it's funny that you mention Indigo. Did I just try to say Indigo Rose Woodland and put about four more Indigo? Indigo, yeah. Indigo Rose, do you know where she's from? Waterland. No, she's from? Waterland. No, she's from California.

And what does that mean? She's hot. And she knows the whole cast of the OC. She knows that you know that everyone, every single person in California is hot. Tony Lodge here is California. Oh, they must be hot. They must be good looking. So she sent a message through.

And said, yes, we are all good looking. Hi guys, Indigo Rose here. I'm in California and before you ask, yes, I am extremely hot. One sexy motherfucker. Oh yes, rate yourself. Now, I don't know if this is fiction. We'll have to look it up. I'm from a town called Rough and Ready. No. Surely that's not a real town. How do you spell it? Is it like... Just as straight up as is.

Rough, Space and Ready. Is that a real town in California? No fucking way. It's a place. It's a place. Oh, it's right near Bitney Corner. Of course. Oh, Bitney Corner.

Oh, of course. Sorry, yeah. They got more than one Coles there. She says, I'm in California and before you ask, I'm very hot. One sexy motherfucker. I mean, what else do you expect from a girl who was born in a house on Rough and Ready Highway? Love you both so much.

I had bread and butter for lunch just for you. Oh, that's very sweet. When we go to US for the wedding for Paige, congratulations again, Paige, coming to the wedding. Should we go to Rough and Ready? I'm rough and ready to go. You were born rough and ready to go. I live on the rough and ready highway.

But that town name, can anyone beat that, by the way? Oh, that's good. Is there a better town name in the world than Rough and Ready? Do you remember the town in Australia that went viral when everyone was saying Yas Queen? Because there's a town in Australia called Yas. Yas, Y-A-A-S. Y-A-S-S. Y-A-S-S.

Oh. And it's pronounced Yass, not Yass. I used to live like half an hour from Yass. Yeah, right. And it went viral online because it was like McDonald's, Yass. Yeah. And also Queer Eye for the Straight Guy did an episode there. Yeah.

And the people they made over, we know them. Oh, really? They were part of the Ryan and Tanya show because we did a thing in Yas and blah, blah, blah. Oh, that's so funny. And then that popped up on YouTube one day and I was like, no. Yas? Yas.

Well, we were all obsessed with the son. He's a bit of a looker. Oh, okay. And then when he was hanging out. We'll do that later. And then he was hanging out with. JVN. Yeah, and the guys.

And we were like, oh, my emotions. There's so much happening. Karamo, hello. Help me from the inside out. Karamo, I mean... Which is your fave, by the way? I really like Tan. Oh, yeah, he's got...

Because I just think that we'd be friends. He's lovely. And I'd really like for him to help me with my wardrobe. Yep. JVN, love the energy. Love the energy. It's a lot of energy, but I love the energy nonetheless. Love it. Bobby, I think, is like a quiet achiever.

Yep. I think when Queer Eye first came, well, the redo of Queer Eye first came out and everyone's like, Anthony's like fucking making an avocado thing and then like Bobby's like in the house like. Bobby's doing all the work. Remodelling a fucking home. He's like, oh, I'm going to help stylise your palette. Let's make a hot dog.

You boil it for a minute and put it in bread. Yeah. Oh, you're a whole new person. Yeah, but we made a guacamole. He's taking the piss, that guy. Lovely. He's taking the piss for that joke. Super sexy, but yeah.

Yeah, no. You need to bring more into me. Vekamo, oof. Oh, Karamo. Yeah, okay. Laura's from New Zealand. Rough and ready. Laura's from New Zealand.

Oh, Kia ora. Sorry, I'm only catching up on this episode. It was a while ago. Ryan said he used the bathroom at an open house. When you've got to go, you've got to go. You do, yep. Open houses are on a Saturday morning. That was ages ago.

Yeah, what do I love to do on a Saturday morning like everyone else? Have a coffee, then have a poo. Well, a couple of coffees. I'm in the open house. Yeah. It was happening. You've got no option in coffees. I'm in the open house. Yeah. It was happening. You've got no option in that situation. So Laura's from New Zealand.

She said, when I was younger, I was house hunting every Saturday morning. You know, it's a bit of a process. It takes a while to find the right house. But because I was a bit younger, I was going out and partying really hard on Friday nights. Oh, yep. Laura says, I wouldn't be concerned about doing number twos because I could not tell you how many open homes I've thrown up in. Laura. So she's there.

She's had 87 vodkas the night before. She's sweating and she's like, I'm going to vomit. She's rough and not ready. She's rough and ready to pee. So she's like, oh, yeah, and does this one have an en suite? Does this one have a bathroom? Yeah, or a backyard or a laundry or a seat. Anything.

A bucket. Oh, yeah. I could not tell you how many I've thrown up. Could you imagine? What do you think of the place? Oh, it's beautiful. What do you think of those brown tiles? Oh, it's enough to make you spew.

Oh, my God. And, you know, when you throw up, you're really emotional. Oh, yeah, there's tears. Like you want to have a little cry, you need to make sure your hair's not in your vomit. Like you'd stay home. What does it for me, though, is that she's obviously thrown up multiple times

and then the next Friday night gone, I know it's 4am. I know I've already had 78 beers. I will have two more before I go home. What could possibly go wrong? And has done this week in, week out for a whole journey to buying a house. And then still decided that when the alarm went off at 7am that she's like, yep, ready to go. Well, the housing market aren't going to wait for me

so I better hurry up and get in there. They're just getting more expensive. You've seen the economy. The rates are just through the roof. Last week in the episode, we actually need to explain this and I don't think we did well at the time. Oh.

The episode was called Lara's Bingle or Lara Bingle. Yep. Now, what does bingle mean in Australia? Bingle is like a slang word for an accident. But it's like a minor incident. Oh, I had a bit of a bingle. An incident, not an accident. So like no one's died but you probably, you know,

need to go to the panel beaters. Yeah. Not a euphemism. Not a euphemism. You actually need to get your car fixed. Yeah. Now, Lara Bingle was this famous lady who... Australia's sweetheart.

Australia's sweetheart. And the girl was named Lara who had a car crash. Hence when we laughed for an hour and a half about Lara Bingle. Yeah. For us that was really funny. I would just like to say, though, I did say, if you're not from Australia, you're going to need to Google that. So people just need to be.

Well, Australia hates us, as you know. Yeah. 76% of our audience is not in the same continent as us or country as us. And that's fine. Some people aren't. Fuck you, Australia. Well, Laura's from New Zealand. Indigo is from Rough and Ready in California.

So, I mean, that's a good representation. Anyway, we said we'd send flowers to Lara. Yeah. Did you take care of that? Yeah. What did you do? I sent flowers. Did you actually?

I know that she got them. I might not have sent them, but I know she got them. How do you know that? Because I saw her comment on a post saying that she got the flowers. Okay. Thank you for taking care of that. You're welcome. Here's the note that I sent her.

Do you know how they're like, you can send a note? So here's a photo of it. Read that out. Oh, no. And the person's had to handwrite. The florist has had to handwrite. Did you have to say it to them on the phone or did you do it online? Just read the note, mate.

We're really sorry. So this is flowers from us to Lara. Because she crashed her car. We should have explained that before as well. Yeah. We fucked this up. We fucked this up. So Lara was in a little car accident because she was laughing at our podcast.

She's from Adelaide in Australia. She knew who Lara Bingle was. She got the joke. All right. We're all friends. We're all up to date. We're all up to date. 45 minutes later.

Is this the third? Oh, no. We're still on the Monday episode. Jesus Christ. Wrap it up. All right. We're all up to date. We're all up to date. 45 minutes later. Is this the third? Oh, no, we're still on the Monday episode. Jesus Christ. Wrap it up. All right. We sent flowers to Lara and the no-breeds. Ryan sent flowers.

We sent flowers. We're really sorry you ended up in someone else's butt. And we're really sorry the florist doesn't know the context of this. And now it's probably awkward for both of you. Love from Tony and Ryan. That's very funny, mate. And she messaged and said, you're right, it was awkward. The florist didn't know the context.

It's handwritten. The florist has had to write that out. Well, here's the thing. I asked them to say, sorry you ended up in someone else's arsehole. And they went, no. Is there any other way of phrasing that? Really? And then I thought the word butt was, butt is like a bit funny,

whereas arsehole is pretty graphic. Yeah, yeah. And then I didn't want Lara, you know, opening the door and this. To someone's arsehole. To someone's arsehole going, oh, hi, I just had to write this note before I delivered it. Sorry, someone else is in your arsehole. Or vice versa.

I don't know who's doing who here. I just don't understand. Take the flowers. Don't look at me in the eye, please. I just arranged the bouquets. I don't have any part of this. I don't like any of this. Florists would write some horrendous shit.

Think about the things that they're writing down around Valentine's Day. And they would have to write arsehole there. Surely. I reckon it would be pretty dirty from some people. I would never do that. I'm not really a dirty girl. Really wish I'd never said dirty girl. But I'm actually, I'm not, that's not my vibe personally.

But yeah, I reckon people definitely would be. People would be surprised to hear that given the language warning on this podcast. A girlfriend of mine that I went to uni with, she's super into arts and crafts and one year was doing, like, a pop-up at one of those bauble, like, personalised bauble pop-ups in a shopping centre. Yep.

And she got asked to write some naughty stuff from a couple once because they had, like, nicknames for each other. Yep. And my girlfriend from uni was like, I actually can't write that on this. What was it? It's not safe for the podcast. For this podcast?

That's how bad it was, yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Hey, I've got something you love to see. Yeah. Have you heard, and you might have seen this in the news, the Prime Minister of Finland, Sana Marin, have you seen her? So the Prime Minister of Finland is 36 years old.

What a lord, by the way. What are we doing with our lives? She missed an unplanned, albeit very important, phone call from the Foreign Minister at 4am on a Sunday because she were in the clirs. Sorry, I didn't take my work phone with me. I was busy in a nightclub. Could you imagine meeting a girl like,

hey, what do you do? I mean, I'm a construction worker. What about you? I'm the Prime Minister. Who wants to round and talk about I own this country? Because wasn't it a message to self-isolate? Yeah. So the Finance Minister had got COVID, so

all the contacts went out. And she's like, oh, sorry, I didn't know I was supposed to isolate. I was in the club. I was out. I was loose in the fucking club. On the dance floor, getting it done. What a legend. You love to see that. You do love to see that. My love to see it is a fan submission.

Ooh. That someone was getting on the subway for a 45-minute ride to work and there's no service as it's underground. They were trying to figure out when the podcast come out, our podcast, because the time difference from here to America, and realised that they'd already listened to the one that was coming out that day, so couldn't listen. Luckily, opened their phone, realised that their iPhone

had done them a solid, and downloaded an old one so they had something to listen to for the 45 minutes. You love to see that. You love it when technology's on your side. Well, surely at the end of 2021, we've figured out how to listen to a podcast in a tunnel. I mean, people are commuting. Why is there no internet there?

Why is there no Wi-Fi? How's the train operating without the internet? Should there be Wi-Fi on a train? Yes. What country was this from? East Timor? It's from America. Planes fucking have Wi-Fi now.

I mean, yeah. That's pretty good, isn't it? It is. Oh, you don't reckon? I once read this thing where they said the plane is the last place you can't be interrupted by an email. Yeah, I do like that, actually. Where you go, oh, I can't be contacted for a few hours.

Not that I'm that important. Oh, you're important. I'm not that important. Just ask your accountant, finance manager and manager. They'll think you're pretty bloody important. Sorry to end on a sour note. Yeah, well, okay. All good, though.

All good, mate. All right, you ready to take a seat? Vaccinated, caffeinated and recently masturbated. Here's Tony Lodge, ladies and gentlemen. Meow. Turn a meow. Every now and then I get a little bit lonely And you're never coming round

Ring me out See you tomorrow.