Toni and Ryan - Run for a Rotisserie

Episode Date: April 8, 2025

WHO WOULDN'T RUN FOR CHICKEN?????? Love u!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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literally every cent. Yep, head to oxio.ca, so O-X-I-O.CA, and use the code TARP, T-A-R-P, and get one month free. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Tony, this is Ryan, and we never start an episode of our podcast without a TARP or approval. Yep, TARP,, Tony and Ryan podcast.

And Teagan is in Seymour here in Victoria. Now, Teagan, I believe you've got a six year old son who's prepared a joke for us. Is that right? What did the apple say to the cat? What did the apple say to the cat? Nothing. Apples can't talk. Ryan, you saying that's true. Yeah. That's true. That's very true. And then just walked away. Ryan, you saying that's true?

Yeah, it is true. It is true. The kid tells no lie. Yeah, very true. I approve that. I approve that. Teagan, will you approve today's episode? I'd be more than happy to. Legend.

Hi, this is Teagan from Victoria and I approve this podcast. Not that I would ever start an episode in not a perfect mood. Why is a funny bone called a funny bone? Because earlier today I was trying to gas up Tony and I was getting very like animated and I whacked my elbow on the side of the table and didn't that really just put a curb in my spirit. But it was also it was the perfect conk. Yeah it was a great sound. The sound was perfect and is it called the funny bone because it's funny to everyone else?

Yeah because everyone else had a great time. But why is it actually called the funny bone? Should I ask chatjp too? oh is it because it's the ask chat gb oh not google wow wow yeah i'm a new girl i'm gonna go i'm gonna go it's the humerus it's like almost been an arm bone is that why i asked chat gbt i might have just made that up. Why is the funny bone? If not that... Ah! Shut the fuck up!

No you're right! Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up! Yeah! Ah! The upper arm bone, the humerus and the word humerus. It's like a... How did you know that? Well, in hindsight, I'm pretty obvious.

Doctor? Two doctors in the building I'm pretty obvious. Doctor? Two doctors in the building. That's what the podcast is called now. I now know what it's like. If only I was funny, now I would know what it would be like to be Tony. I can't wait till we fly together next. Why are two doctors in the... Well, because the amount of times that they've got, remember when we flew to London and you, they go,

is there a doctor on this plane? And Ryan looks at me and I went, don't you fucking say that. You can't call yourself a doctor every time you podcast. You cannot call yourself a doctor on this podcast every single day. And then someone's choking down the back. Heaven forbid the doctor would leave the front quarter of the plane. And you go, don't you say I'm a doctor because I don't want to go down with the plebs.

I did not spend. I had to race up. I know, I did not spend nine years in medical school to turn right on the fucking plane. Let me tell you. I had to run up from economy and go, Tony, we need you back here. And 20 minutes later, I got back down there.

Tony got a plane from business class. I got a private helicopter to take it back down. And then I said, I've left my stethoscope in my checked bag, so I'm not going to be able to help anyone anyway. I could not think about any other medical equipment. Stethoscope is all I can think of. What else is there really? Do you think that if you walked around wearing a stethoscope?

Charles, write this down. But surely people would just treat you way differently. I remember when my mum was sick with cancer. Terrible time. But one morning I went to the hospital before uni, like I was starting uni at nine. And I was like, I'll go see mum, cause you could go in from seven or eight o'clock, or whatever. And I walked in there and I had all my uni stuff with me,

and I had like, seen her, and I was walking back to my car, and someone asked me for directions, and then they went, thank you doctor. And I was like- No they didn't. I fucking swear to God, I swear to God, and I was like, oh my God, people. I swear to God.

And I was like, oh my God, people think I'm so professional. And then I realized that, cause I was wearing glasses and also carrying a lunchbox. It just looked like I worked there. Oh, well I know a doctor when I see one. Yeah. Glasses, lunchbox, obviously a doctor. We're forgetting the final context clue in a hospital.

Walking out of a hospital does lend itself. Add a little, yeah. But they said, thank you, doctor, to me. I would have been, well, 18. A very young doctor, very successful. I would have been like that. What's that little. Dr. Dolittle. No, the guy with Barney. Barney. Doogie House. Did you just see what my face did?

Yeah, lots. Sorry. Yeah, it was really, I was buffering for a second there. Anyway. Okay. Is the lighting off in here? Something's off. I feel like my computer's not as bright as normal, but it's on full tilt.

Lights on, we all feel, I think, I feel it. Yeah, okay. Maybe it's this jacket I'm wearing. That's not. Tony, I think it's daylight savings. It is. It's my jet lag. Yeah.

So I have been, daylight savings occurred over the weekend here in Melbourne. Occurred? What the fuck? Oh, that occurred over the weekend. How Melbourne. Occurred? What the fuck? All that occurred over the weekend. How would you say it? Who's a doctor now? Finished? Well, like the change occurred.

The change occurred. The thing where they switched shit happened. Yeah, I think it's just you using the word occurred is just so strange. But yeah, Dalit Savings Centre. A Kurt. Why are you the bastion of words now? I'm the bastion of the crab. Sophie, can you call my lawyer and get him to draft us some legislation,

like a question so that I can submit it to Tony to get approval? Yes, I can do that. Sophie's lawyer is her dad, so. Yeah, okay. Ask your dad, what is the legal process for me to get words pre-approved? Okay. No, just saying something occurred is just like so official and also finished. Will the change occurred?

Yeah. Yeah, like, no, like I know what occurred means. I'm just saying it's just like a, I don't think I've ever heard you say a curd before. It's not even a big word. No, it's just like an official, real, super official word. So Daylight Savings ended on the weekend. That's so interesting. And I have had many conversations

with trying to explain it to Mabel. She said, what a curd? And you said, well. And I said, you're a turd.abel. She said, what occurred? And you said, well. And I said, you're a turd. Oh. To her, not you. No, you didn't. No, I didn't. I didn't, I'm like, now I'm getting angry.

Why are you getting angry? Because I just said a curd and thought it wasn't a big deal. No, it was just sounded so official. So anyway, we've had lots of conversations about when Mabel should be going to bed and getting up and trying to explain it to her. And then every time Bridget goes, so is it? And I'm like, I don't actually understand. Yeah, no.

All I know is that this is the time it says on my phone and she normally goes to sleep at this time. Yeah. Yeah, but if they're not, I'm like, I don't actually know. Yeah. Nah, but I- I don't know. And now that the phones do it themselves- I don't need to know. It's not our problem.

But have you been waiting- Whether it's occurring or not is not our problem. Have you woken up hell early and it's like bright and you're like, I must've slept in and you go, no. Well, what got me was on, so it occurred on Saturday. Oh! And then on Sunday, it got dark at 6.30. Yeah.

And I was like, oh, I miss it already. Yeah. Cause I just love that it's light at light later. Yeah, same. And then what? Oh, you don't like it? No, because like I hate when I wake up and it's like still dark outside. But it is. I'm sorry. You know what? No. It's just not a good air for you. No, I just because people say I hate it when it's dark in the morning, but during summer, because the days are longer, it gets bright at the same time anyway it's just that it's like and then when it changes it's that it's like oh because it is getting light

later in the morning it just like gives you that buffer back in the morning so i don't think that really it changes that much in they don't in queensland because the cows don't like the change in time and the curtains according to the farmers The curtains fucking go faded and whatever it's so stupid Got any comments Sophie? Yeah on behalf of Queensland. I'm a massive daylight savings fan. From Queensland? Well, yeah. Yeah, that's why I left. It's a rea- yeah That's actually so relatable. I'm not hanging out in this state with you. I wasn't getting enough sleep Yeah, and your cows were

Yeah, they were getting enough sleep. Yeah. And your cows were. Yeah. They were getting at me. Yeah. No, they hated in WA as well. It's so strange. It's so weird. It's the best. Yeah.

The thing though about WA having talent savings, obviously that everything's too shut at five. Yeah. So it's like. Out of those hours we saved during winter, you let the store open till seven in summer. Yeah, but they don't. I'm trying to buy an ice cream at 6.30 and they go, sorry, mate, the supermarket closes at six.

What the fuck? Like it's, everything's shut anyways. It doesn't matter. One of my favourite things when we used to work at Bunbury, because where the radio station was that Tony and I used to work at was across the street from McColls at about- Bunbury Centre Point, should I add? About 5.52 is the mad scramble, because there's eight minutes before the supermarket closes

and everyone's just realized they don't have food for dinner. And you'll never see more rotisserie chicken slung in an eight minute period than from 5.52 to 6.00 PM. That's a huge number. We're going off for dinner, get a chicken and some fucking coleslaw and some fucking shit, we've got seven minutes. Yeah. Right, because you've got seven minutes. Yeah.

Right? Because you've got to be out there. And it's everybody, like mass exodus from the radio station of everybody, like, scrambling. Has anyone got dinner? No. Fuck. We've got seven minutes till Coles closes.

I'm busy. Can someone just run over and get eight chickens and we'll figure it out. One for everyone. How long do you reckon a rotisserie chicken lasts in the fridge? If you ask me when I lived in Bunbury, I'd say seven days. I've been informed in recent times that it's less than that.

How long here? Six. Well, Torb's is away at the moment and I'd hate for you to eat a... Well, that's why. My theory was if you put it in the microwave long enough to just re-nuke it, it'll fuck all the germs off and you're all good. Yeah, that's what I thought too. And then I looked on you're all good. Yeah, I don't know, I'm not too. Then I looked on Reddit and it said, no, that doesn't look like that.

So what did else Reddit say about the chicken? Because I think that's why I had a sore stomach for most of my 20s. Because you're just eating- I just buy a chicken on a Sunday night and that'd probably get me through the week. Well, so that's what I thought. So I bought this rotisserie chicken and made like a pasta bake. Oh. But I, so I de-boned, like I got all the flesh off the chicken and then made the pasta bake and then like baked it and then portioned it up.

You cooked it. Well babe, what do you think a rotisserie chicken is? What do you think the rotisserie does to the chicken? Maybe like you cooked it more. Chachi Pitey's had four days in the fridge. Oh, okay, well then we might have some fucking diarrhea on our hands today. When was that? Livestream?

Yeah. Oh, that was you deboning the chicken on the livestream. Yeah. Okay. So. If anyone wants to see the last time Tony touched a chicken before the gangrene set in. Yep.

It's on Patreon. Champion Tafel livestream I did last week. Okay. Let's do this story. Love it. Do you have a friend who won't shut the fuck up? Here's your solution. Now, Tony Lodge here at Tarp Tower, would you say out of everyone you are most up to date on the golfing scene? Yes.

Yeah. I love live golf. So glad that Adelaide got the thing for another however many years. Adelaide? They got Gather Round this weekend, the football, the live golf is in Adelaide. Did you see the interview? It was like a St. Kilda player and two separate times like, what are you going to do in Adelaide? And both times he said, I hate Adelaide, probably just play video games in my hotel room. Then they asked him again and he said the exact,

they gave him a chance to redeem himself. He goes, I fucking hate Adelaide. I hate Adelaide. I hate Adelaide. I hate Adelaide. I hate Adelaide. I hate Adelaide. I hate Adelaide.

I hate Adelaide. I hate Adelaide. I hate Adelaide. I hate Adelaide. I hate Adelaide. I hate Adelaide, probably just play video games in my hotel room. Yeah. Then they asked him again and he said the exact, they gave him a chance to redeem himself. He goes, I fucking hate Adelaide. Yeah. Probably going to play video games in my hotel room. Yeah, they had it. Jack Higgins. Well. That's the second funniest thing I've heard that guy say.

Yeah, cause he said it two times. I honestly, I was just watching it and then this chick is just going fucking bananas on sunrise morning being like, it's so disrespectful that say that about Adelaide. I love Adelaide. Well, when I flew back to Perth that time, and we stopped in Adelaide for the plane to refuel and the pilot goes, would anyone like to get it? If anyone wants to go into the terminal, it'll be 20 minutes. And the guy goes, is it Adelaide out there? goes yes we're fine thanks and you're like i really need the

bathroom but i don't want to be the only person getting off no Adelaide interesting town i think we had a great time we had a great time i love those that big balls or bean or whatever that's That's Chicago. But everyone often says that Adelaide is the Chicago of Australia. People are always saying that. If I ran a dollar every time I heard that. I would have at least zero dollars by now. One. Oh, I've said it. Yeah. At least. Oh, sorry. Yeah. No, you know what? Sorry.

Zero or more dollars. Yeah, at least. That's what that means. Let me read this headline. American golfer, Ryan McCormick, has taped his mouth shut because he couldn't stop complaining and having tantrums. I haven't been having a fun time on tour this year,

Mr. McCormick said. I'm always angry and mad. And after trying lots of things, I figured I'd just try to shut myself up by putting tape over my mouth. Now, Tony lobbed this new story into the group chat. Because I was... Is it because of your love of Adelaide? Oh, I love a quiz. Is it because of your love of golf?

Or is it because you know someone in our workplace who also won't shut the fuck up? What was the reason you like? Because there might be something in this for us. And I was like, which part of the story could it be? So all of the above, but I loved that the top comment was men will do anything but go to therapy. How about the solution is not being a fuck with. Here's an idea, deal with your problems.

Yeah, instead of fucking gnashing your mouth closed on a fucking at work, like you are literally at work and you're deciding like, you know what? I just won't fucking say anything. And he's fucking taped his mouth close. What a fucking baby. What a baby. Now, how are you going to cry now, baby?

If your fucking mouth is. You can still do that with your mouth closed, you fucking cockhead. I literally it made me so mad. And I was like, that is embarrassing. Like, can you imagine being that c***'s wife or like any family member and being like, oh, Ryan's on the course again. You haven't done the dishes, anything to say for yourself?

Yeah. Oh, I just won't say anything. Like what a classic. Oh, fuck. Oh, bleh. Now. So it's actually like hideously embarrassing. Couldn't agree more with everything you said. There's one thing that we haven't factored in here though.

Yeah. Is that it says he's been having tantrums and getting annoyed at things. So that's why. But he better c***. Yeah. Here's an idea. So that's why- Play better. Yeah. Here's an idea, hit the ball in the fucking hole. Like, you know what I mean? Practice. He goes, I'm getting annoyed and frustrated.

Yeah. Right? Here's what no one has considered. Could there be anything more annoying and frustrating than having tape over your mouth? Is that going to not make you way more fucking angry? Yeah, and just also like proud mouth breather over here. Why are you get so puffed out? You're playing a sport.

So I was trying to give him one win. Nah, golf. But you know, like, but you're still fucking. Does he drink beers when playing professional golf? He doesn't. Well, he can't, he puts it through his nose. Nose beers. No, he doesn't. He puts it through his nose. Nose beers. Is that why that is? Every time someone says I had a big weekend on the nose beers.

It's that they've got their mouth taped. Oh, you know what? I know that you're doing this for a gag. It's really going to hurt to take off. Oh no. No, it's masking tape. Ryan has put some green tape on his nose. I'm going to put it on his nose.

I'm going to put it on his nose. I'm going to put it on his nose. I'm going to put it on his nose. I'm going to put it on his nose. I'm going to put it on his nose. I'm going to put it on his nose. I'm going to put it on his nose. I'm going to put it on his nose.

I'm going to put it on his nose. I'm going to put it on his nose. I'm going to put it on his nose. I'm going to put it on his nose. I'm going to put it on his nose. I'm going to put it on his nose. I'm going to take off. Oh no. No it's masking tape. Ryan has put some green tape over his mouth. Don that's still... Just having some nose whiskey. Oh it's not very effective. Oh the tapes come off. Oh well I guess I'll just scream at someone. No thank you Charles but I appreciate the offer. Do you want me to wrap the tape all the way around your head? Yeah. And you know what since you've done that you've become such a better golfer. Would you like to try it? No. Would you like to try it? No.

Would you like to take this one off me? No, no, that's all you. What we're going to do. Given it was already coming off, I don't think it will be so bad. What we're going to do. See, no, you can't talk. I'm going to rip this off and then we're going to go to the little ad music thing. I think we might already be there.

Hi, this is Teagan from Victoria and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. This episode is brought to you by Madury and Madury has the nicest fine jewellery. It's perfect for stacking and wearing every day. And you can like play around with different styles, mix different colors and metals and stack different combos. So there's really something for everyone. And can I tell you a cute little personal note? Please. You know, these gold earrings that I wear, they're majeure. And they were like the first bit of jewelry I ever bought myself.

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I love cream. Are we talking like ice cream or like moisturiser? Actually as a sensitive skin girl, I can do both. I know you can do both. And as much as we love ice cream, I'm currently talking about moisturizer. I'm talking about Aveeno Baby Healthy Start, which for young kids, you can use from day one.

You can use this Healthy Start balm to help moisturize, nourish, and comfort the skin of babies. And when Mabel is older, I want you, Tony, to remind her who moisturizes her every night. So when she's got beautiful skin, you'd be like, yep, dad used to do that for you. Well, I was about to say, you're doing a great job

because she high-fived me yesterday when I came around for dinner and they were the softest hands I've ever felt. You're welcome, Tony. You're welcome, Mabel. Well, we love a routine and we know how important good skin habits are to start early.

And with a Veno Baby Healthy Start, it's easy to moisturize and support baby skin moisture barrier from day one. You can learn more at Aveeno.ca. Shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Jenny LaRue, good on you Jenny. David Reinhardt, thank you very much. Nina, love to see it Nina. Thank you. Nathaniel Howard, Jesse Brinley, Emily Lay and Chloe Murat. Thank you very much for being part of the Patreon.

And thank you everyone who has voted so far for us in the Webbies. The Webbies is probably the craziest thing that... So we're like one of the only Australian entries. Every time we've been up for something else has been like the Australian podcast awards. Yeah. The fact that we're up for a Webby in New York City is mad. And if you could vote for us, it's in our LinkedIn bio. It's they tell you the score.

Yeah. Which is such a power move. Is that freaking you out or is that like exciting or? Well, we're just, we're second by a little bit. It's basically us in another pod that it's come down to for best comedy episode. But it's Trixie and Katja, so I mean it like feels unlikely that we would be able to match them. It's only 4% different right? They've got 7 million followers between them on Instagram.

Do they? Yeah, they're a huge, yeah it's huge. Holy fuck. They're like the most famous drag queens. They're from RuPaul and like... Well we're the most famous Tony and Ryan. We might not be because I googled us once and they were like, Tony and Ryan's wedding. And it was like some famous couple.

We're in the top five Tony and Ryan's. Yeah. I've got this frequently asked questions about the Webbies. Yeah. Because it's the best comedy episode. Someone said which episode? It's the episode about Matthew Bates. Yeah.

Which is Kathy Bates' maths tutor. Yeah. So so that was the episode. So it was called the cancel mince pies. So it was my love to see it how the girl was like my fucking mom went on exchange to America and their her sister is Kathy Bates. I got to hold the thing and we were doing the maths on when that would have been and what the age differences would be. And also you didn't know how boys pee. Yeah.

That episode as well. Yeah. What a great episode. It's an award nominated episode of podcast history. Yeah, that's very exciting. And if you want to vote for that as the best comedy podcast episode of the year on the internet, and if we get up towards the top, we'll be heading to New York to collect our

prize. That's amazing. We would love to do it. Go to the link in bio, vote for Tony and Ryan. I mean, I love you for any, forever anyway. So it's like a dumb thing to say, I'll love you forever. Cause I already do, but I would actually love you forever. That's nice. Thank you.

But yeah, it's like really cool and it's like, oh, it's such a pleasure to be nominated, but actually, because- And if anyone in New York or New Jersey has a spare room or a couch for Tony United State, that would be fucking unreal because it turns out last minute flights from Australia to New York, tough. New York. Maybe that's why that's what we've been Googling New York. Yeah, small town in Ireland. Yeah, we're going to the wrong place. New Lock. Tough. New Lock. Maybe that's why that's what we've been googling. New Lock. Yeah. Small town in Ireland. We're going to the wrong place. It's only 16 connecting flights.

That's nothing direct to New Lock. It takes 53 hours to get there. Singapore, Heathrow. Back to Singapore. Then Dublin, then a train to Lock. Then you go to the New Lock. New Lock. Yeah, which is across the bridge bridge which you have to swim over. But there's not sharks at this time of year which is great to know. Water's too cold.

Very exciting times. So Ryan, obviously you are like my best friend. Obviously. On earth. Yep. Except for my best friend Tim. Like that's fine. Just because it's like the same as I'm your best friend except for like Dave Parsons. Or as well as. Because the best friend's not a person, it's a tier.

So it's like. You have always said that. When I say you're my best friend, no asterisks. Just that's the sentence. That's nice. Be nice to hear back. You know that of my tier of best friends, you're there. One of them.

You're in the tier. Who's in your best friend tier? Nah, just you and Tim, I think. And Torbz and Pippa. Yeah, I was about to say cop that Torbz. Yeah. Mabz? Oh, Mabz, definitely.

I saw some artwork behind your desk. She drew that for me the other day and I popped it straight up. And she's in the office. She's learning how to talk into a microphone. Yeah. She doesn't know the difference between talking into a microphone and biting the soft cover on the microphone. There's a little chunk out of mine at the moment.

That's OK. But no, so my best mate Tim, who I've known for a very long time, we worked together in Bunbury, and who now is Tim Collins? 100% that Tim. Has he ever raced over from the Bumbri radio station at 552 to get a hot chicken? You know what I reckon he has. I know a chicken runner when I see one. When I see Tim Collins, I go that motherfucker. He's run for a rotisserie before. Yeah. Run for the rotisserie. That should be the name of a fun run.

A 5k run for the rotisserie. And should be the name of a fun run. A 5k run for the rotisserie. And there's a big. And you get a chicken at the end. Yeah. I thought I was being funny. At the end of the 5k is just like the coles are on the chickens going. Wouldn't that be run for the rotisserie? Choles. Fuck. Marviel Choles Hawthorne's. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, that's Hawthorne's. That's Hawks, not chickens. Yeah. Oh God, that could be the end of her today.

All good. Um, but imagine if Coles did like a hot chicken van. Yeah. Oh. And that was like, can you imagine how well that would do on like a Saturday afternoon at like a sporting ground? All the kids are playing footy and then the you know, the parents go out and I'll just

grab a fucking Chookie on my way through. We'll have that for lunch. And all they sell is a hot chicken, a packet of six soft rolls and some coleslaw. That's all I sell. And some mayo. They do have mayo. And too much butter. Did you mention the butter?

I didn't mention the butter? Too much butter. I didn't mention the butter. What about a little bit of like very, very, very good cheese? Like a slim, a slim, slim cut of Yarlsburg. Slim cut. And this is something I want to bring up because I've obviously distracted and can't talk. Thank you.

If I was playing local footy and I could smell the rotisserie chickens. It would make you run so fast. No, no, it'd just be for the 5k. Yes. But if you just parked at the local football, are you expecting me to concentrate on the rest of the game from smelling them chickens? Because the end, the point of the run for the rotisserie is like the faster you run, the sooner you get the chicken. Yeah. How long do you reckon you could do? How quick? I did the park run in Tasmania in what, 39 minutes? 37, I think. Give yourself the credit, you do.

I think Charles was 37. Oh, sorry. I reckon if there was a... I was trying to be nice and now I just sound like a bitch. If there was a chicken on the coals at the end, I reckon 19 minutes. Or what if we got a fishing rod and the chicken was... And then as you were running... Yeah, and reaching out for...

You were trying to get the chicken. No, that would fuck me off and I need to tape my mouth up. Because then what are you going to do? Put some chicken skin in your mouth as you're running. What a danger. Anyway, OK, so my mate Tim, he was away recently and they were going to be away for a couple of weeks. And we did the classic like, oh, we'll check in on the house while you're away. They only live a few minutes away from Torb's and I, which is great because we see them really often and we saw them just a couple of days before they were flying and they were like, yeah, we'll be away for a few, few weeks.

And we were like, oh, don't even worry. We'll go around and kind of do a drive by and double check on things. Torb's did it the last couple of weekends and like, I'd gone on my way home from work cause it's kind of on the way a little bit. What does it mean? Like- It's a great question. Like I get the, oh, my house is there for two weeks.

Is everything okay? I get the, I'll drive. But like, what does it- What are you looking for? Yeah, yeah, the door's still on dog fucking what? Like, what does it, like, do they have a car? Well, no, I wasn't going to inside. Like, I wasn't watering a plant or anything. But one of their cars was like parked out, so I guess it was also just like, oh, car looks all good.

Everything looks crocheted, whatever. But you know, like. No, I do, but it's funny, Everything looks good, whatever. But you know, like- No, I do. But it's funny because when people offer to do it for us, I'm like, I think it just gives you a bit of like, someone's been there today and it looked all good. From the outside. Yeah.

But like, don't you think that that just gives you something? They're around the back. Mole man's moved in. Mole man. Mole man's moved in. He's living there with his rodent, mull man friends, but from the outside. But I think it does give you a nice piece of mind and be like, oh, or you know, we were like, do you want to split the bins out or whatever? They're like, no, we're not really worried about

that. But like, if you could drive past, that would be awesome. And I think it is. Are you saying they've got empty bins there that could be put out? We've got plenty of bin room here, mate. You're all good. I'm still at war with them. I'm Milneby Council, so I might need to just bring it in. Just bring it in to the office. Well, so we'd said, yeah, so Torbz had been doing it on the weekend and I'd gone on my way home from work. I went past on Saturday and I was like, oh, I'll have a really good look. And then so I'm like, I get to the house, I like slow right down. And I kind of like,

stop. I'm looking at, I'm in the car still, but I'm like looking at the, looking at the house, I like slow right down. And I kind of like, stop, I'm looking at, I'm in the car still, but I'm like looking at the car, all good, like you said, what, the door's still on and whatever. And then like, Torb's message, cause so Torb's is away at the moment, and Torb's messaged me and I'm like, stopped in the car and I checked my phone.

The car was stopped, like it's fine. I wasn't, yeah. But I was like, oh my God, I'll be home in five minutes. I'll call you then. And so I'm like sat there for three or four minutes, like all up in my all black car. And then I'm like, kinda I guess looked a bit stealthy. I've looked at the house, I'm like, kind of, I guess, looked a bit stealthy. Yeah.

I've looked at the house. I'm like, yep, it's all good. I want to get home so I can talk to Torb on the phone. Yeah. I get home, I talk to Torb, all's fine. Uh, and then I messaged our group chat of me, Torb's, Tim and his partner, Ken. Yeah. And I'm like, Hey guys, just let you know that the house is all good.

Like everything's fine. And Tim goes, Oh my God, that's so sweet of you. Thank you for checking. We've been home though for four days. And I was about to message say someone's lurking out the front of it. Yeah. He goes, but we just saw like your, we didn't know it was, we just saw this black car like stop down in the driveway, sniffing around, really kind of look around. And they were like, we thought that was really weird. And now we know that that was you.

Like it's all makes sense. And then I go, oh yeah, we're all good. And they said, didn't you realize that the balcony door was open and like all the windows. So I got around there and go, oh thanks for checking that out, mate. House is all good, you guys. Honestly, I hope you're having an amazing time.

He goes, so the doors open, like the balcony doors are open, which you can see from the street. And like the- So literally the one thing job you would have had is, is the doors open and the answer is, yeah, they were. Like, who's to know? I mean, split the difference, I guess, you know.

You know. So you know how when I go away, I ask you to check my house. Yeah. Yeah, you gave me a house, I put it back on your desk. Oh, did you go over to my house on the weekend? I didn't. Well, I was so busy checking Tim and Kat's house. You didn't even go over and check. I didn't. But it was all good because I checked it. Now I'm lying.

Sorry. Yeah. You don't deserve that. Anyway, yeah, but the house looked all good and I was like, well, so not only we're home, but also it's, you know, like the doors are all open. Also, quick question. Yeah. And it was probably a different car in the driveway as well.

Yeah. Yeah. When you said Tim's on Best Friend tier. Yeah. If I had returned to the country four days ago, you would know that. No, totally. So I think he's just a good friend because a best friend would have known he got home four days ago.

Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. And he is a good friend. Or if he considered me a best friend, he would have been like, oh my God, we're home, let's catch up. But he didn't. He arrived back into the country anonymously. He probably slipped in through customs with like dark glasses.

He's like, don't tell Tony Lodge that I'm back. I really don't want to see her. Yeah. And then she keeps turning up to my house. Yeah, she keeps rocking up. Yeah. OK. Well, maybe I need to have a conversation with him about that. There's a few conversations to be had. I thought the house was all good. It was not.

Yeah. And so that was really fun. He's like, oh, we moved out three weeks ago. Yeah. They're like, we have moved back to Perth. Yeah. There's moving trucks. That's not our house. There's guys moving furniture out and putting it into a truck. You're like, it looks pretty good to me, Doug. Yeah.

They were all wearing balaclavas. Is that fine? Do you reckon? For fashion. Yeah. Yeah, it was a Balenciaga show. I've got to love to see it here. Yeah. But I don't know if it's you love to see it. I don't really know how to categorize this piece of information, but it does need to be shared.

Amazing. One of my favorite videos that we've ever done here at Tarp Tower was the other week when Tony and I were discussing Gravity, the Sandra Bullock film, and also is it possible to be going north and downhill at the same time which it is. Yeah jokingly I Said you can't be going uphill and south at the same time because up and down and blah blah blah blah The you say it was joke. Did you say this email last night Charles? I did not see the email I saw a lot of the comments on the video though. People do not understand comedy

I've done loads of stuff for comedy and people go, she's so stupid. I would like to say that someone who doesn't understand comedy is the actual people at YouTube themselves because that video has been demonetized. Yeah. For false information.

So then I clicked like, please, like, cause AI kind of does a thing and it goes, oh, flag. I mean, click a button that says, I would actually like a human to review a thing and it goes, oh, flag. And then you can click a button that says, I would actually like a human to review this. Yeah, yes, yes, yes. And they've, yeah, Charles has got the email. They have replied. The human has checked our video.

Amazing. After manually reviewing your video, due to potential advertiser concerns around misinformation and conspiracy adjacent content. Oh my God. This video will remain ineligible for full ads. What the fuck? Your video remains playable.

You can still earn money from subscription, but there will be no ads placed around blah blah blah. You can find more information on our advertiser friendly guidelines and policy on misinformation in our help center. My love to see it is someone from the journalistic integrity department had to watch that video.

I hadn't seen that video. I just saw that it got manually reviewed. And I was like, what's going on here? Because I requested it, because they flagged it like automatically. Then I was like, no, you will go and check that because it's clearly comedy and they've gone, gravity, south, north, walking uphill,

false, fake news, area 51. And then you went, I'm an anti-vaxxer. And the fucking- Well, you are getting anti-vaxxers. Well, you're about to say, well, you are an anti-vaxxer. And I thought, okay, no, we're not doing this. I just like to do my own research. No, I got it.

In the clothes you are being called a flat earther. No, there was a lot of- Oh, but that's true. Yeah. You can't be going north if it's flat. And we've always said that. I think it's maybe the words flat earther in the comments- In the comments.

That has triggered this like misinformation. Hang on, this is what I love. Conspiracy adjacent content. So it's not saying you are promoting your conspiracy theory, it's just saying it's conspiracy adjacent. Honestly, you can't say anything anymore. No, and I don't know what about this in general,

but I just love to see all of this because how, how hilarious. You know what I love to see is that that's our jobs. All of us in this building right now are being employed to deal with things like that. Well, not for long as we've got the blood and bone. Demonetization. Well, sign up to Patreon because it looks like our YouTube dollars are heading south and downhill at the same time.

Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, you don't know that for a fact. Well, I've got to, you love to see it here. That might bring us back because it has earned us some money. Felisa McCray sent this through on Patreon and said, I finally met a tarpa in the wild. Fuck yeah. Which I never thought would happen seeing as how I live in rural Oklahoma.

Felisa said the truck stop I work at got sold to a different company and that company brought in trainers from all over. Yep. And it just so happened that one of my trainers was a tarpa who had also never found a tarpa in the wild. So like all of a sudden they're like, oh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Felisa said being tarpas and being able to share that with someone was the best feeling ever.

It was like immediate family. That is. Isn't that so sweet? So beautiful. Please vote for immediate family. That is. Isn't that so sweet? So beautiful. Please vote for us in the webbies. Felisa said we talked all about you guys and he hadn't been part of the Patreon yet, but was really wanting to. So I was extremely thrilled to see that I could give him a champion Patreon for a month,

which I absolutely did. Because I would love to hear you say his name. That would really make his year. So thank you guys, everything for what you do and for bringing Mark Gray to me so Felicia and Mark we fucking love to see it. Is that Fel Bart and Maggie? That's just for Lisa. Is that the mode of purchase? Or is it the mode of for Lisa?

That's very good. That's very good. So thank you guys for everything that you do and for bringing Mike to me. That's very good. Very good. So thank you guys for everything that you do for bringing Mark to me. My TARP brother. The TARP family is real and awesome. So thank you so much. I'm going to send Felisa a Tony and Ryan Tumbler.

Okay. No. Yeah. The tariffs. No, because if I send it as a gift for free, it's what's 10% of zero. No, so it doesn't work like that. I listened to a podcast this morning and it's based on the actual unit price. Well, they're fucking shit and they're worth nothing. They're not shit.

For tax purposes. Don't say they're shit. Because if their value is nothing. Oh my god, he's spreading misinformation. He's addicted. Oh my god, this is really conspiracy adjacent. Yeah, Charles, I was having, Tony and I have been having chats about the merch store and the tariffs. We think we're gonna shut the fucker down. We might have a pre-tariff sale

and that might be the end of it. Might be the end. This is our fair chat, which has somehow crept onto the show, but. What? Don't blow the lines. Do you know what I mean? It's all on, it's all off. Don't they kick into effect like next week? So buy now.

Two days, yeah. Buy them, don't Felisa them. I've got one Felisa joke. Please. Oh, hang on, run. Is it when it's Christmas and you go Felisa Navidad? When I was a kid, I learned how to play the song on piano, Ferra Lisa.

No? But it's not the same, is it? No. I also don't know songs, so. Maybe if you'd said Ferra Lisa. Ferra Lisa. Yeah. This is the actual.

Yeah. You just said the name of the thing. Oh, Mr. R. Yeah. Ferra Lisa. Oh, Farah Lisa. I hardly ever met her at the shop before. Felisa. And I've always said.

What's that book? Felisa smiles. What is that book? I don't know. Are you talking about the Julia Roberts film, Mona Lisa Smile? I already did a Mona Lisa. Yeah, that's right.

Is that what you're doing? Are you talking about, I don't need therapy and all the lies I've told myself that you can get at tonymarrion.com.au? For a little bit of time, Mona Lisa. Yeah. Pre-tariff sale. I didn't even fucking think about the book.

Oh, there goes my 401k. Someone let Tony know she's Australian and doesn't have one of those anyway. That's just a funny joke. You say 401k all the time for the American listeners. That was pre-tariff, mate. Pre-tariff. We can't fuck with that now.

If I have to say that now, I would have to add 10%. Then it'd be like tariff. But isn't that what you want because then you would have more money in your super animation? If you added 10% you'd have more money in your super isn't that good news? No there's 10% coming like extra to stuff you buy The stocks went down I don't really understand it All our retirement savings are gone We can't retire the show is going for a hundred more years

Oh Yeah woo That's bad news Savings are gone. We can't retire the show is going for a hundred more years. Oh Yeah, whoo That's bad Are you serious all my money's all like the supreme I haven't paid super animation a while we just paid their super animation now Oh Yeah, I actually made a big deal in the office about so all that super I paid you last week. No Gone Yeah. It's all gone. I actually made a big deal in the office about, sold out super, I paid you last week. No. Gone. Should have paid it this week. Would have been on sale.

He's addicted to misinformation. He is! Tomorrow on the show. Normal or nah. Oh! And there's a conspiracy. No. Oh yeah, we don't do that anymore.

We're not doing that anymore. There is a very normal, subjective, scientifically proven. We're doing our own research about something tomorrow. Oh, that doesn't help, does it? Jeez, they really ruined that sentence. No one can research things anymore without being accused of being an anti-vaxxer. I know.

What are you doing? You think I'm doing a research assignment? Oh, well, don't you believe in science? Don't you believe in science? Don't you believe in science? Oh, do you have really good phone reception to 5G? I'm done. See the webbies. Oh, no tariffs on the webbies I've heard.

There will be though, if we have to buy tickets. No, but it's free to vote. Aren't we an export? No. We'll be importing ourselves into the webbies if we go. No, we'll just be spending USD, so it doesn't matter. Oh, but Australian's free to vote. Aren't we an export? No. We'll be importing ourselves into the webbies if we go? No, we'll just be spending USD, so it doesn't matter. Oh, but Australian dollars, US dollars, fuck. So it's going to cost us, quick maths, $3 million to go.

Well, Torbz is currently in the US and he was like, oh, I just went downstairs to buy a Gatorade, a small coffee and some headache medication. He's like, cost me $50 Australian dollars. Oh, and in other news, how was his night last night? Yeah. Let me tell you. Did he?

Let the dogs out in Vegas, did he? Yeah. Quite a few very late night phone calls of Torb's topless being like, just come back to the hotel room. Like, oh, working, are we? And it's a midday over here. Yeah, I'm at work.

I'm like, hi, sweetie. Okay, like so going top right now. What time is it in Vegas now? Should we call him? No, we can't afford the calls And it's a midday over here. Yeah, I'm at work. I'm like, hi, sweetie. Okay, like so good. What time is it in Vegas now, should we call him? No, we can't afford to call the tariff. It's 5.40 p.m. at Las Vegas. He's probably with Ruth at this time. Raise the roof. Yeah.

Having a Stiggy and a slap. Yeah. Yeah, good for him. No, not at all. All right, see you tomorrow. Love you, bye. Alright, say to Mark! Love you! Bye!