Toni and Ryan - Ryan accidentally shaved 'it'

Episode Date: January 10, 2022

How can you accidentally shave something, you ask? Ryan has found a way!! Plus things you can say to a Delivery Driver and in the bedroom, and my (Toni's) Toxic Trait™️. Love ya! T xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hi. Hi, this is Tony and Ryan. Who's that? Oh, it's Esther. How are you? Oh, hi, Esther. Oh, sorry, we were trying to get the phone to work

and Ryan goes, oh, I don't know. And then, oh, it was a whole thing. The building set on fire. Classic Ryan. I know, classic Ryan. Classic, classic. set on fire. Classic mine. I know, classic mine. Classic, classic. I'm so sorry about that. But are you, strangely, from the same city that we're from?

Yeah, I know, how random. I used to listen to Kiss and that's how I found Tony and then yourself. Oh, you just melted Tony's heart. Thank you. So lovely to chat to an old friend. Yes, exactly. We're about to get started today, but as well as saying g'day and welcome to our town.

We've never said g'day on this fucking show. We were wondering if we could get you approved. Because no one's ever Australian. That's a great time. That time. Actually, question for you. How do you feel when we say no one in Australia listens? Oh, I have, like, two friends that know of you.

Oh, well, we've made it. Well, Esther, if you can make that four, then we'll send you some money. Sounds good. Sounds great. All right, can we get you to approve this episode? Definitely approve the episode. Yay! Hi, this is Esther from Berwick, and I approve this podcast.

Yeah. Hi, this is Esther from Berwick and I approve this podcast. On Thursday, the Barber saga will come to a conclusion. Oh, okay. Any updates yet? No. Okay? No. Okay. No, all right. Hooking us through.

All good. Thursday. Okay. I don't like it already. Okay. Hey, coming up today, though. Yes. Toxic traits.

Yes. Everyone's got one, and if you don't think you have one, you're wrong. You're wrong. You know that thing of like, oh, everyone's got that friend and if you don't have that friend, you're the person? Yeah. Yeah, everyone's got a toxic trait. If you can't visibly see an arsehole on a tram, you're the arsehole on the tram.

And I've just found out what mine is. Not my arsehole on the tram, my toxic trait. Hey, guys, breaking news, just found my own arsehole on the tram. My own arsehole on the tram. All right, Tony's toxic trait on the way. But as a bit of a tip of the cap to Smosh Smodges, one of our regular listeners and a person who's always commenting in the group, he's a delivery driver.

He was the guy who was delivering to Disney World when he pulled up to deliver the pizza. Tony, because he was listening to the podcast, was making these loud moaning noises. And I don't think he got put on the sex offenders list, but it just wasn't a good look. It wasn't great, no. But as a shout out to him, here is...

Things you can say to a delivery driver and also in the bedroom. Oh, wow. I'm used to it coming a lot quicker than that. It's a nice change up. Classic. Oh, Tony, that's a big box. Oh. It's not the size, mate.

It's how you use it. Is this all of it? Why does that sound so familiar? What do you mean? Oh, thanks for turning up. Time for work. Can you help me get this in? It is a team exercise, isn't it?

It's a group activity. No bystanders here. We're all in. There's been a mixer. I've asked you to come in the front, but you're at the back door. Don't you hate that? You actually do. You need to lift your game, mate.

Every time I come around here, my package is damaged. Like a battered sausage. I'm stressed. You're stressed? You're not the one with the battered staff. Chipolata. We haven't gone for a mid-episode cheese Kransky in a while. Just saying.

We should do that soon. Yeah. Oh, my God. Five stars. The reviews are... You just left a note. You said you came and banged on, but you clearly didn't because I was home the whole time. But seriously, people who work for the post office,

don't say you came to my house when you didn't. It's the biggest lie. I'm home 25, Sev. 25 hours a's, yeah. It's the biggest lie. I'm home 25, Sev. 25 hours a day, mate. It's so good that I can organise for you to come through an app. What is this app? No app for you, no. This feels bad.

Do you have to pay for it? I should hope so. This is for the OG tapas. Okay. Did you stop in Kentucky on your way here? More like Confucky. Oh, you know what? I really don't care what kind of car you have.

Just put it in. Just bring it over and put it in. Don't tell me about your Toyota Camry. I couldn't give a fuck. It looked a lot bigger in the pictures. Don't you hate that? That's what happens when you order off Wish. Are you coming now?

You look so concerned. Am I? It says on the app that you're coming now. Don't you just love that I've automatically gone to food delivery? You went to, like, ordering things online, but I mean, now, don't you just love that I've automatically gone to food delivery? You went to, like, ordering things online, but I went, no, I've ordered my pizza and where the fuck is it?

Also, stick your dick in there. Just a couple of loaves trying to get their pizza delivered. A couple of loaves trying to get their sausage in a bun. We've actually just discovered a new pizza place, Shawcross Pizza Joint. Have you ever been there? I will be there tonight. Mate, it's so fucking good.

Get your pizza from there tonight. Shawcross. Shawcross Pizza Joint, it's called. Where is it? It's fucking dope. Where is it? Maybe like Fitzroy? Jesus, how far are you travelling for a pizza?

No, it's not that far from my house. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, that's true. Okay. Anyone listening out there? Yeah, local chat. Yeah, it's true. Okay. Anyone listening out there? Yeah, local chat. Very good. I heard you're a professional at driving. How about you be driving that package into me sunken lounge?

So many things. If it helps, I don't know what that means either. A sunken lounge. That's very like 80s. They used to like walk into the sunken lounge and like do coke on their coffee table, I don't know what that means either. A sunken lounge. That's very, like, 80s. They used to, like, walk into the sunken lounge and, like, do coke on their coffee table, I think. Oh, no. I think there was a hole in the bag.

Shit. Worse. Worse. That's a pretty big package. Do you want to put it around the back? The bigger it is, the more I'd rather take it in the front, I feel. A bit more support. The infrastructure is better out the front.

I like to look at it when it's gone in if it's too big. I've just shut myself. Yep. Yeah, I might actually just run out to your car and get it because there's no parking out the front of my place. Imagine running out to the front of your house, fucking someone, and then just running back inside. I feel like people would do that.

You don't have to imagine. What are you doing in the server? No! Bloody hell! Okay. All right. Put that one to bed. Won't be me.

Or to car. Really quick. I don't know if anyone else has done this, but there's been a lot of grooming chat over the last few episodes, last few weeks and stuff. I don't know if anyone else has also done this, where they were looking to just like tidy something up and they went a little bit too far,

then they thought I'll just even it up on the other side and it just like it goes back and forth. Yeah, and then all of a sudden you've got no moustache because you've tried to trim it, trim it, trim it, trim it. Has anyone else experienced this? I don't know if you've. I know what you're going to talk about. Do you?

I think so. Well, all that's written on our sheet is legs. Oh, did I write it down? And I was with you on Wednesday and you were wearing basketball shorts. Was I? And I thought, no, that's different for you. Go on then. Tell the story.

Well, I don't know the story. What are you doing now? All the ingredients are there. Just put them together, babe. So did you just call me babe? Yeah, I don't know why. Okay. So you shaved your legs?

Yeah. Didn't mean to. What? No. Oh, I've eaten dinner. Didn't mean to. What do you mean? No judgment. Like, there's no judgment. I just noticed it.. Didn't mean to. What do you mean? No judgment.

Like, there's no judgment. I just noticed it. I didn't mean to. It's noticeable. Because I noticed it and I was just like, oh, because I spend a lot of time with you and so I know that you normally have hairy legs because, like, we'll catch up and we'll be wearing, there's no way to say this without,

like, you'll be wearing, like, active wear or whatever and, like, I've seen your legs before. What do they normally look like? They're normally quite hairy, like your butt and your butt is quite hairy as well. My butt? Yeah. How do you know my butt's hairy?

So it's not that it's a bad thing. It's just that I noticed it and I was like, okay, but you've been playing basketball a lot and I know you've been running a lot. So I was like, oh, maybe it's just, like, itchy because it's been really hot or something. But now that I know it's an accident, I'm just, I don't know how. It's like when someone says like, oh, I didn't mean to have sex with that guy. Like, oh, he accidentally put his dick in my ass.

Like, I think like, you know. Well, similar to the person who accidentally got a dick in their ass. Yeah. I also found myself in a predicament. Okay, so what happened? Over Christmas when I was down the farm, there was a random chat amongst my auntie and my mum about how hairy my arms were.

Oh, babe. Yeah. Two babes. Babes are fucking flying around. Okay. Sorry about that. Yeah. That's not very nice.

Yeah, and I felt really self-conscious. And so then when I was trimming my beard, I was like, oh, well, maybe I'll just, like, shorten the hair on my arms. Mm-hmm. Because I just have, like, a very generic clipper that I'll just, like, you know, do my neck and, you know. Yep. And then.

Is it the same one that you'd use for your penis? No. You got a penis one specifically? Well, we've done an ad for them. Oh, of course, Manscaped. Yeah, welcome to the party. They've also got a nose trimmer. Oh, Torbs needs to do that. Yeah, I'm becoming a real one specifically. Well, we've done an ad for them. Oh, of course, Manscaped. Yeah, welcome to the party. They've also got a nose trimmer. Oh, Torbs needs to do that.

Yeah, I'm becoming a real old man. Yeah, he's like, oh my. Thick ears, big eyebrows. Yeah. It's all over for me. Because Torbs doesn't really get like back hair. You know how like some people have like a hairy back or whatever. He doesn't, but he's starting to get like thick little hairs

like on his shoulders. That's where it starts. And he always is like, can you please, like, because we'll be like laying on the couch or something and I'll like pull them. He's like, just pick them out, please. Yeah. That's where it starts. And he always, he's like, can you please, like, because we'll be like laying on the couch or something and I'll like pull at them. He's like, just pick them out, please. Yeah. That's how it starts.

I was like, I just got a couple little on the shoulder and then, oh, no. Yeah, because Torb's like 34. So I was like, surely, like, you'd be coming by now. But, yeah, he's a late bloomer, late groomer. Late bloomer, late groomer. So I trimmed my arms with the clippers. Can I see the arms? The arms aren't really that bad. It's literally just like slightly shorter because I just with the clippers. Can I see the arms? The arms aren't really that bad.

It's literally just like slightly shorter because I just used the clippers. Okay. No, you can't really tell. Yeah. But I was just self-conscious about it because my family was talking about it. That's really shitty. It's not nice to comment on other people's bodies. Sorry that you felt like you had to do that.

And then I thought, oh, my leg hair is kind of long. Maybe if I trim it with like, do you know the numbers on the clip? Yeah. Like if I do like a six. Yep. Just to like. So one being like to the skin. Zero is almost to the skin.

Okay. So by six. So six is quite large. Yep. And then I thought I clipped it onto six, but it was like an adjustable one and it was actually on zero. They look similar as well. Well, it's the same thing because it's adjustable.

So you just like press a button at six, then you just like rotate it at zero. And so I just did one big stripe with zero. And then you're like, what am I going to do now? Yeah, I look like a dog that's had an operation. Yeah, and I was like, I'll do the same on the other side. And then I was like, well, if I've come up to like mid-shin, I probably need to get to the knee.

And then you went above the knee as well. Well, you can't just stop there. You can't just stop there, yeah. Fuck. So what did you see the other day? How pale are my legs without hair on them? Well, yeah, they do look very different. But yeah, well, I just saw that they've started to grow back.

But, honestly, I didn't think anything of it. I was just like, oh, you've been running and playing basketball and stuff. It's probably itchy to have long leg hair, like any human. I used to have, like, shaved legs because I used to, like, strap my ankles. Yeah. And when you take the tape off and you've got hair. It would hurt like fuck, yeah.

And then I was like, oh, I'll just shave to the ankle. But then, like I said, it looks like you're wearing socks. You're like, oh, if I've got to shave to the ankle, you've got to go to the – and then so it was normal 10 years ago. But for me, getting around in a dad bod at 34, just a bit of an athlete. Yeah, shaving my legs is more aerodynamic. Wind resistant while sitting on the couch.

Hi, this is Esther from Berwick and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A big thank you to some of our champion tappers. Jen Trevino, thank you very much. Pi, Makala Noonan, and a happy birthday to Lucy Autumn's husband, Ian. Ian. 40 today. The big 4-0.

4-0. Well, it's all down here from now, Ian. Down here from here. Down here from here. So happy birthday, Ian. And Lucy, you can stop messaging me now. How many messages did she send? Nah, from here. Down here, from here. So happy birthday, Ian. And Lucy, you can stop messaging me now. How many messages did she send? Nah, just two.

Just through Patreon. She was like, oh, I've joined as a surprise for my husband. I'd love it if you gave him a little shout out. And it's today, June 11. Oh, happy birthday. Jan 11. Oh, fuck, is it June 11? Are you?

Hang on. No, it's not. Wouldn't that be the funniest thing that's ever happened? Let me check. Let me check. Surely she wouldn't message you six months in advance. That's her fault if she has, surely. Today is Tuesday the 11th of January.

Oh, my God. Tony Lodge, you fucking idiot. Okay, I'm just checking. I'm just checking. I'm just checking. Yeah, it's Jan. I've written June. Great, great.

Thank God for that. I was stressed. All right, life saved. No, Lucy Ottoms, she's been lovely. She's a great little back and forth bit of a chat. And, yeah, what a lovely girl. Thank you so much. Wish your husband a happy birthday from us.

Tony. Ian, yes? It's time to talk about, can we call you toxic Tony for this? No, we are not calling me toxic Tony because that makes me sound like I'm about to get cancelled. I would like to begin this with a nipple update. Oh, please. So if you're just joining us, you haven't been listening a few months ago, probably two, three months ago. Don't pull over a chair. You're fine. You're sitting on a chair. Yeah, but. No, you go. I'll just stand here.

All right. I had a cracked nipple and it was really, really itchy, causing me a bit of grief. Talked about it on this podcast. Got many messages of people saying you need to go to the doctor to get that checked out. I haven't really given an update since going to the doctor, but they are actually just want to do a few tests as a bit

of a precaution, make sure that everything's all good. So this week, earlier this week, I had to go and get quite a few blood tests and I also had to get an ultrasound and a mammogram. The boob clamp. Yes, the boob clamp. That's exactly right. Anyway, so all as a precaution.

Should find out this week what is going on, but it's all fine at the moment. Bit sore, bit annoying, but all good. Obviously, I'm feeling pretty anxious about what's going on because I just want to get the all clear, find out that it's okay, or know the next step or whatever. I am a really polite person. Too polite.

When I meet people in public, I try and make sure that I'm really polite. And I don't mean if people recognize me. I mean like- People recognize you. No, but I mean, I don't mean like chatting to people. I mean like talking to someone at the servo and saying hi, saying how are you, saying thank you. But when I'm feeling nervous about something or a bit anxious, it just kind of overtakes me. And when I'm in an uncomfortable position, the jokes kick in. Joke, joke, joke, joke, joke.

Is that like your not defence mechanism but sort of a... Like a coping mechanism. Yeah. So I had to go in and get quite a few blood tests and i had to fast for them so i couldn't have eaten from the night before that was fine i woke up like you hangry um no i wasn't i was just like aware that i hadn't eaten but i was trying to drink as much water as possible because it makes a blood test easier um anyway so i i wander over into the pathology place

and there's like seven people waiting in front of me and everybody's looking pretty fucked off because they obviously have gotten there really early to avoid the line so they could get in and then eat something for breakfast. Yep, but they're all stuck in the line. They're all hungry. We're all sitting there. They're all nervous.

Yeah, all nervous because everyone's there, you know, trying to find out results or something. Anyway, so I'm back of the line and no one joins after me. This guy walks out and he just like says, number five, number three, whatever. Like he's not really happy. Anyway, I'm getting pretty. No one's happy in this building. I know.

And the guy that works there, you're allowed to eat. Yeah, you should be fine. That's a great point. So he calls my number. I hand him my paperwork and I go, hi, how are you going? And he goes, cool, yep should be fine. Oh, that's a great point. Yeah. So he calls my number. I hand him my paperwork and I go, hi, how are you going? And he goes, cool, yep, number seven. I'm like, oh, okay. Okay, no customer service here in the medical biz.

Great. We walk in and I was like, oh, I know it's early, but how's your day been so far? And he goes, just sit down in that chair. You can put your stuff there. Now, I feel like you've come in a bit hot, but he, as his job, should at least meet you halfway. Just give you something.

Thank you. Give me something. Give her something. But so I'm nervous about, not about the needle, but just nervous about the day because I had to go and have heaps of tests and I was like, fuck, I just really don't. I'd rather be anywhere else.

Yeah, 100%. And they should know that. Everyone here is not having a good day, so I'm going to be extra nice and polite and reassuring. And that's a bit of me. I'm that guy. So I sit down in the thing and he looks at the thing and goes, cool, been fasting? And I was like, oh, yep, like haven't eaten since 7pm last night.

And he goes. Did you say I could eat the ass out of a low-flying plane? No, I just, I was like, no, haven't eaten since last night. And he goes, nothing, nothing, no response. It's just fucking silent. Just staring at his screen. Yeah, he's just staring at his screen, just like ticking away and I'm just like sitting there like kind of nervous energy.

Do you as someone who loves a chat feel the need to fill the space, feel the silence? Yep. This is where the toxic track comes in. Oh, I'm so nervous for you. So he's not answering me and I'm like. Is it fair to assume he may be busy doing his job? I mean, but he was kind of doing like things that he could have.

Yeah, like he was working. I will give you that. He was working. But like there was no way that what I was asking of him was going to increase his fucking CPU to a point where he could then no longer work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't as if I was like, oh, I parked out the front. Is that okay?

Like I was like asking him about his date. Pleasantries. And anyway, so I go, oh, no. What did you say? Anyway, I haven't eaten since 7pm. He says nothing. And then, you know how they make you like approve that your like date of birth and your name and everything is right.

So I go, oh, yeah, I haven't eaten since 7pm. What feels like 10 years goes past and I go, oh, you must get so many people. And he goes, is this your name and address? So I'm, like, talking. So he cuts you off. And he cuts me off and, like, holds this thing up in front of my face. He didn't even read it out.

He couldn't even be bothered to read it out. No, he was just like, is this right? Because normally they go, cool, what's your name and address? And they, like, tick it off. But, no, he, like, throws No, he was just like, is this right? Because normally they go, cool, what's your name and address? And they like tick it off. But no, he like throws it and I was just like, oh, yep, like that's my name, that's my address, whatever. And so I'm like I can't look at the needle as it's going in. I'm looking away and I'm just trying to chat to him.

Anyway, chat, chat, chat, chat, chat. He's not fucking having a bar of it. And I get home and I'm fucking ropeable. About this guy. Because I've just spent ten minutes with this guy trying to, you know, create a rapport, enjoy our time together, and he's just like not having a fucking bar of it. Anyway, I repeat this whole story to Torbs and I'm like,

like maybe he was having a bad day, whatever, but still, it just like made me feel shit because I felt shit already. Yep. And Torbs goes, oh, Tony, you are such a nightmare. You're the nightmare. Because he, like, Torbs, he's quiet. Yeah. Like, he'll get into an Uber and not say anything.

He'll, like, be polite and say, like, hey, Alex, how are you going? But just, like, sit quietly and enjoy it. I'm a chatter. You say that, that's like a thing. I'm a chatter. Recently, I was getting an Uber to your house and I got out of the thing and I was like, my Uber driver just got married and their reception's next week and they're really excited.

Did you get invited? No, but I was like, oh, yeah, and it's out near the airport. They've got this great venue. And when we pulled over for him to drop me off, he showed me pictures of his wife and stuff. Like I'm a chatter. I'm a chatter. No wonder it takes you so long to get about your day.

Exactly. So Torbs goes, oh, that's your toxic trait. Is that you're a chatter. Is that you fill silences that don't need to be filled with inane chatter. And, yeah, some people find that lovely, but that guy was just trying to do his job and he was just like, you didn't need to do that.

And he said, this is your toxic trait. And I said, no, it's not, because toxic traits are things that happen more than once are you implying you've never done this and he goes what happened with the echocardiogram so a few years ago this is turns out this is not the first time this has happened a few years ago first of all I'll stop you right there I can tell you this isn't the first time because you do this five times a day now yeah's happening now. Yeah, I know. A few years ago, I was having really bad chest pains. You started a show literally to create space to fill with your voice.

To just talk myself. Yeah, basically no one else wanted to listen to me, so I'm like, I'll just put it on the internet. Surely someone will like it. So what happened? I was having really, really bad chest pains. Right. And I had to go through lots and lots of testing,

so I had to do all this like crazy shit, and I had to get an echocardiogram as well, which is where they take an ultrasound of your heart. So you have to lay on the bed and you have to have like the gown open and kind of like your chest up ways and they press right down into your boob, like for anyone with breasts, they like press right down and it's really uncomfortable.

Right. And I had to get one. I was really freaked out. I was 21. My mum had not long died and I was fucking freaked out. Anyway, and I go in there and I'm making all these jokes and this guy is like not fucking having a bar of it. Anyway, he like puts the jelly on the ultrasound machine

and he pushes down into my breast and I'm like, oh, you know, like how's your day? He's like, I'm going to need you to lay as still as possible. And then. It's a medical procedure, Tony. And then he pushes. He doesn't need you making, Jack, he's trying to do his job. And don't I fucking know it.

He pushes even harder and I go. Could have bought me a drink first. Ultrasound. You'll have to tell me whether I'm having a boy or a girl. You didn't. Tony. And he goes, I'm going to need you to lie as still as possible. So no laugh, nothing.

And he was very stern with it. Yeah, very stern. Yeah, and I know that this is a long walk around for a short drink of water, but that's my toxic trait and I've just filled up all that time with me telling that story as well. Do you need, are you accepting that this is your toxic trait? Yeah, because I just never stop talking. I just feel when I'm uncomfortable, I just want to talk it out

and other people aren't like that and I just can't accept that and it happens in the medical field apparently a lot. What is it about the silence that irks you? It's not the silence. It's just that if I'm feeling uncomfortable, I'm like, are you feeling uncomfortable? I'd like to feel comfortable. If I was with friends or whatever and there was a silence,

I wouldn't consider that awkward. So it's because you hate them, you need to feel it. No, it's because, like, I'm feeling noticeably uncomfortable because I'm nervous about what we're doing or whatever and I just want to have a nice experience. And I always think that if we can chat through it, surely that's nicer than me silently laying there being like, you're obviously staring at my boobs.

Can we acknowledge this? Yeah, is there a way that we can make this like just break the tension a little bit? Sure, like I can't be the only one, but I figured out that that's my toxic trait. Do you think that when you're like, I know this is a bad experience, but can we make it a good one? Yeah.

Is there times in life such as going to the dentist? Yeah. Having surgery, like I've had a few surgeries, that you can just go, hey, most of my life is going to be great, but the next 10 minutes is a bit uncomfortable. It is what it is. No, because that just makes my skin crawl.

I know that bad things are going to happen but if I can make them a little bit funny, like if I can crack a joke and, like, break the tension a bit, surely that's better. Other people don't think so. Well, that's the thing. They're concentrating on finding out if there's something wrong with you. So do you think it cheapens the- So imagine if they're at your funeral.

Yeah. And it turns out you had a complication and the doctor missed it. And they say, hey, doc, why'd you miss this? And you go, oh, Tony was telling me some fucking story that was funny. And I was just laughing with their story. Okay, well, your toxic trait's been fucking depressing. They're there to do a job. You're not there to do a job.

I'm breaking the tension. You're creating it. What are you doing? This is not good. I would just rather the amount of times when a doctor said blah, blah, blah, and I just go, hey, hey, you're the doc. You just do what you've got to do. I'm letting them do what they need to do.

When the guy said, I'm going to need you to sit still and be quiet, what did you do? Made a joke. I'm letting them do what they want to do. It doesn't sound like it. Oh. So what's my, other than shutting you down and making you feel awful, what's my toxic trait?

Yeah, I couldn't think of any either. And there it is, gone no i actually don't think that you have towards me a toxic like you do things that like i don't do but that doesn't make them toxic like we've talked about you being a challenger like you're you're a yes and person. Tony will say something and I'll just be like, nah. But I'll be like, that's a good idea, but you'll sit there with like this like shitty expression on your face because you've got thinking bitch face. Tony and I started working together a few months ago and I told her you need to understand this about me.

I have thinking bitch face. Yeah, so if I give you an idea, you'll sit there and go, and you'll just have this fucking bitchy expression on your face and I'm like, cool, I'll just go fuck myself. But that's just how you think. He fucking hates it. Yeah. And I like to think things through.

Hey, should we do this thing? Oh, yeah, we could do that and we'd get there to this and we'd travel this way and blah, blah, blah. Both of us go, oh, this could go wrong, this could go wrong, this could go wrong. No, I say this is what could go right. Oh, I do the other way. Oh, that's my talk.

Oh, God, I've got a few. Yeah. Do you want to have this chat maybe off air and with a professional? With a therapist. Yeah, make sure you sit as still as possible. I got something you love to see. Sorry for shifting the tone. Is it too depressing to go into you love to see. Sorry for shifting the tone. Is it too depressing to go into you love to see it?

No, this will bring us back. Oh, actually, do you want a medical you love to see? Yeah, do that. Mine's very silly, so I'll go next. Actually, no, the medical's too dark, but after a while we'll just... Oh, OK. What I will talk about, though, is Crystal Border. Oh, hi, Crystal.

She just got married last month and she and her partner wrote their own vows, which is lovely. I do like that. Sorry. What do they do? Wrote their own vows. Vows. V-O-W-E-L-S.

Vows. Rhymes with vows. Okay. Now what feedback's going to be next week? Crystal Bowder. Order. When I got married last month, we wrote our own vows. One of my promises was to continue to mispronounce words until the day I die.

Fitting. Did you marry Crystal? Crystal is my wife and we're going to live very happily. No, she said that I always stuff up my words. She's like, I just let you Ryan. I'm like, don't drag me into this. But she promised her partner, I'm never going to change

and I'm going to continue butchering the English language until the day I die. That's very sweet. I do love to see that and I hope everyone else loves to see that as well. I love to hear it. Nice. My love to see it is that it went around on the internet this week and you've probably seen it.

And as someone who doesn't like Harry Potter, I don't expect you to appreciate this, but there's a spell in Harry Potter where when you say Lumos, it lights the end of your wand like a torch. Hey, Siri. Lumos. Okay, I turn torch on. The light is on. And it's gone, like, viral over the internet this week,

and I'm guessing it's probably gone a bit crazy because of the Harry Potter reunion that came out last week. I did. What did you think? I have watched it. It's good. It was quite emotional watching it. Are reunions in general good or are they a bit?

I kind of like it because I'm a very nostalgic person. Yeah. Like I really enjoy looking back and enjoying memories and stuff, reminiscing. Yep. But then after that, we watched every Harry Potter movie this week. Really? Yeah.

Jeez, you have been busy. Oh, yeah. Mate, I got a lot on. You'll love to see it. You'll love to see that. You'll love to see that. On Thursday, a closure to the Barber saga. We're texting.

We're organising it. I would like everyone to know that Ryan's organising this. I actually don't know where we're at, but it's all very exciting. Well, the thing is that I'm texting to get her on, but I obviously don't want to say in the text. And it's a bit hard because obviously she hates you. Well, I mean, that's definitely... Not going to help.

It's becoming apparent that that may be the case. Yeah, and tomorrow we need to talk about mummy and daddies. We'll chat to you tomorrow, though. Please hit the follow or subscribe button on whatever app you're on. That helps us, apparently. Please. Appreciate that. And we'll see you tomorrow.

Kylie Meow Nogue As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up.