Toni and Ryan - Ryan Brought A Magician Home

Episode Date: July 12, 2026

Movies v trailers - Christmas in July - Charles cheating - love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What is your favorite number, Tony? Probably seven. Interesting. Why? And what's your favorite color between red or black? Black. So would you be more of a spade or a club type person? Spade.

Seven of spades is what you're saying. Stand up and check your back pocket. Hi, I'm Bena Allen Wood from Phoenix, Arizona and the United States. Hi, I'm Eben. This is Toby and Marley. And we're from Wellington, New Zealand. I'm Lacey from Bulls Gap, Tennessee. And I approve this podcast.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, bestselling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. Happy Monday. Coming up today, people are sending their messages and someone has accusation about someone here on the podcast. Someone has accusation. Someone has been cheated on and we've got a detective Dunner's done some digging around

and found something. I think Charles is laughing because he knows what that might be. Detective Dunstan digging. And I also did something at a. a dinner party, a Christmas in July, dinner party at my house on the weekend, which is, it's torn the friendship group in half.

It's split the, yeah. I'm glad I wasn't there. Yeah. You were invited, I'm glad my chairs were there. I need those back, by the way. Yeah, I figured you've got people coming around. Yeah.

Anyway. Well, over the past couple of weeks, there's been a lot of chat about voicemails. There has. So we talked about Ryan talked about a fucking, movie that has torn the tapas apart as well. They go, yeah, so Ryan talked about that movie, voicemails for Isabel.

Yeah, he didn't say how fucking depressing and devastating it is. It's fucked. They're like, oh, in the first five minutes, I was no one. Yeah. I was disintegrated. So, finally, a lot of voicemail chat. Warning about that movie. Yeah.

The sister dies straight away. Oh, God. No, people need to know. Yeah. Because if my sister had fucking God rest her soul, if my sister had just died and I hit it. play on that movie. Oh my God. Like a month after my mom died, my sister and I were like, let's go to the movies. Like, we really need to just like get out of here and do something a little

bit different, like do something special. We always went to the cinema with mom. My mom loved going to the cinema and you know what she would do? She'd buy the cheap tickets from the Medibank Private. You know how you could buy a book of tickets? No, but that sounds like it is. Yeah. And so, and it would be like, oh, mom, can I go to the movies with my friends? she go, is there any vouchers in the book? Go and check the book. And then so you'd tear one out and you would take it. And all your friends would pay with money and you'd go, oh, can I, can I use this Medibank private voucher?

Yeah, no. Anyway, and so my sister and I are like, let's go to the cinema. We'll get a tub of ice cream sitting in the cinema, not talk 21. We went and watched this new Julia Roberts movie. Everyone's mom loves Julia Roberts called August Osage County. If anybody's seen it, you know where this is going. In the first, the opening sentence of the film, is like, well, since our mum's gotten cancer, it's been.

And Libby and I look at each other like this and we're like, oh, and we're like, maybe it's not the main theme of the film. It is. It is. And then the mum dies in the first six minutes. Oh, what a great afternoon to take our minds off the fact that our mum just died from cancer. Isn't it? Thanks for not reminding me of that, Julia. Yeah, we'd hate to bring that up.

And Libby and I, both of us are real people pleases. We're not, neither of us are very confrontational. and we look at each other and I go, should we? And she goes, yeah, we left. Yeah, great call. We were just like, let's go. Great call.

Like, it's just not worth it. Great call. Have our money. Have our Medi Bank Private voucher. I won't even ask Medi Bank Private for the ticket back. We don't even need the refund. That happened to me watching Lion. Because it's all about the adoption.

I've never seen it, but you warned me and I was like, oh. I saw, fuck, who's that actor? The British guy who was in Scroo. skins. Oh, the guy who plays Tony. Nicholas Halt. No. Oh, so?

He's also in slumdog millionaire. Oh, um. Dev Patel. All right. So I find out Dev Patel's in it, who I clearly am a huge fan of. Yeah, you are always talking about Dev Patel. Half the movie's filmed in Mel. He thought he was in Scrabs.

Skins. He said scubs fans. It's very funny. I've got scrubs on the brain because if I ever get facial reconstruction surgery, I want the new Zach Brath because he looks great at the moment. Oh. Has he had a lift done?

I think, or he just looks great. Did he go to the same place that? He went to the Nicole Kidman's one. Nice. Because she was also in the movie line. Oh. And so she's in it. He's in it.

It's filmed in Melbourne. I was like, great. Support. It's an Australian made movie. And I'm like, well, I'm going to go to the cinema and support Australian film. Amazing. First scene. I'm like, oh, this is the depressing as fuck movie about adoption and how fucked it is

being taken away from your parents. And is it crazy because that film would be. sad for anybody, but especially for someone who has been and dealt with the... About two minutes in when it drops, Bridget just went and looked at me and I went, Bridget, addiction. Yep. So, yeah. But they just hit you sometimes, and you have to make a split decision of like,

am I sitting here through this? If you've had a sibling who has died or if you're against identity theft, don't watch Or some light stalking. If you're against light stalking, no. Voice mails for Isabel, no. Nianti. Yeah, I wouldn't do it. This is, yeah, this is changed from what I was going to talk about,

but that is a better term of advertisement, I think. And we've come up with a new rule for the podcast. Well, it's in progress. Tony has suggested that if it's in the trailer, it's not a spoiler. Like, is it fair game if it's in the trailer? I think if it's in the trailer, it's fair game. But trailers are doing too much.

Do you reckon? Bridget showed me this trailer because she was like hooking me through to watch this movie. What movie was that? It's about this guy who is sort of deaf, but he tunes pianos and he ends up stealing money from the mobsters. It's called tuna. Type in tuna, Charles. Like T-U-N-E-R. Not T-U-N-A.

No. Can-off tuna. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he looks familiar. Yeah. guy who's in other stuff. Yeah, it's

death Patel. Leo Woodall. I'm pretty sure he gets jerked off in one of the ones in Italy. He's in White Lotus. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, he's the bad boy. And you know there's a couple episodes of the bad boy.

Well, which season? Because there's... Season two, I think. Jack. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. He gets jerked off by her guy.

Yeah. Oh, is that... Yeah. Oh, that actually. Actually, we probably have to cut that out because that is not in the trailer. Okay. Yeah. Oh, Charles, that was a weird sound.

So, did you just hear that? Yeah, I'm pushing on. Yeah. Beautiful glass. Beautiful new mug. Beautiful lovely new cup. That's got a C on it for Charles and mine has got an R on it for Ryan. And Tony has.

Mine's got a tea on it, but I'm not using it. So anyway, I am using a Tony around. Bridge goes, you would like tuna. I love tuna. No, no, no, no. No. No. No.

Film. Yes. Yep. She said you would like tuna and she shows me the trailer. Sorry, it does get a bad rap though. I think tuna is mean. Yeah. Do you know what fuck?

I'm so sorry. Do you know what fucks though? Tuna Mornay. No. Like a tuna pasta bake. Mournay dismay. It's awful. No.

No. Nay. I like it. Any kind of Mornay can fuck off out of my life. It's awful. I like a more nay, me. So Bridget. shows me Tuna.

Tuna. The trailer. Yep. And I went... Tuna. Hardly seen the trailer. I feel like now that I've seen the trailer, because the trailer is so good. I'm like...

Is that all of it? I'm like, have I just watched the movie? Is this the blinkest version of the film? Yeah. Yeah, so... Yeah, okay. But I wonder though if the people that make... Because we obviously, we look at that and we go, oh, well, now I've seen the movie,

There's all that, like you watch the trailer, I think I've seen the movie. But do they know better than us? I wouldn't have thought so. Because then when you watch the movie, it's like, oh, there is all of these other things that happen, or the interpersonal drama that makes that more dramatic. So I... Because you wouldn't, if you watched a trailer, that wasn't good. You wouldn't then watch the movie.

So they've got to give you an amount, don't they? So I watched the F1 movie with Brad Pitt. Excellent film. And there was a Tapa's brother was in. It works for Mercedes. Absolutely crazy. But I watched it on TikTok. and I probably saw eight key scenes on TikTok

and was like, great, I know the movie, good on him, it ends well for some of them, maybe. Anyway, I end up watching the whole movie and it turns out there's more stuff. And that's what I mean. And I liked the more stuff. Yeah, the more stuff is good and the people that make the film, like, they put a lot into it.

Everyone at this stage, this week at some stage, let's watch Tuna, the movie, not the... You want me to watch the movie Tuna. this week and talk about it next week we'll read and we'll actually let's watch the trailer today and watch the movie at some stage and we'll compare to I like that okay because we this all kind of came around because we were talking about whether for any tarpas 21 podcasters that have been around since the old days when we used to do a polling patreon of what movie we should watch and then we would chat about it the following week and it felt like we were all doing a little

watch party let's watch tuna so let's watch tune out so let's do tune out of I love it. Should we eat tuna while we're watching tuna? Nah, it'd be tuneception. It's too much. And then sing a tune after that. It's not on any streaming services yet. Oh.

Well, then how are you going to watch it? How was I going to watch it? Oh, were you going to buy it on Apple TV? You can watch it in Hoyt's. You can watch it at an event cinema? She wanted you to go to the movies. Oh, well, we can't. Let's pick a different film.

Let's pick a different film. Come back tomorrow. Oh, you got something. No, I don't. Yeah. But do you? want to pick one. I don't have anything to suggest. We're doing this show every day for the next 20 years of our life.

Yeah, we've got plenty of time. You got a movie to suggest, Charles, you got three seconds. Toy Story. No. We. Is this over? Should we go and then come back? No, I've got nowhere to be.

I did Christmas and July at my house over the weekend. Yes. Last year we did it. About 16, 17 people come over for dinner. We have a big party. most of us, I think all of us, have like children under three or four.

So it's sort of like the designated, everyone get a babysitter. Bridge will get some nice wines. I'll make some cocktails. Let's have some fun. And we can all like ease up a little for the evening and worry about our kids tomorrow. Yep, no, I love it.

Because last year there was a bit of drama with the food. Wasn't there? Wasn't there a bit of drama with the food? Was it a drama with the food? No, there wasn't. What was it? Well, because you, You organize someone to come and then they didn't come and then...

I forgot about that bit. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Well, I was just like, did everyone get fed? He thought I was going to ask. They did. We had the same chef as last year, the one that actually turned up. Turned up.

They came back again. Crowd pleaser. We also had a Pavlova that was... An Australian Pavlova. It was Australian versus Kiwi. And because there was a few Kiwis including the chef. So it was a bit of a bit of a rivalry. I like that.

But last year, I dressed up as Santa Claus and did a mystery like KK and gave everyone presents. That's fine. And then everyone had to like, you do that like, do you keep the present you got out of the magic thing or do you swap? See, I've never played that. It gives me anxiety. Yeah, I think it would. Yeah. So this year I was like, okay, well, what's a little fun twist I can like throw on the night?

Oh. Now, I told Charles what it was. And he went, oh, I told Danny. Nothing really rattles Charles. So that's interesting. I told Danny. And she goes, oh. and I told Lil

What did Lily say? Lily went, I love it as long as they're not better at Tony at it. Better at Tony. Better than Tony at it. Yeah. Anal. I ordered an anal.

No, that wasn't it, actually. Oh, next time. Next year. Next year. What? Would you like to have any guesses? What was the wild card fun thing? So the twist on,

So it's still KK, but with a twist. Just Christmas and July party. And a random clue is you actually gave me the idea. Oh, okay. Did you get a reindeer? No. That's a shame. Shame dear.

Fake snow all over the backyard. No, but I actually took the Christmas trees from downstairs from the office, which I didn't realize had so much like fake snow on it. So my car looks like I've gizzed. all over it because there's just white everywhere and it's just from the fake snow of the trees. That's so funny. But I took all the Christmas stuff from work home

so I've got to bring that back to it. Yeah, we saw just like random bits of tints on the ground downstairs. We were like, we've been robbed. Yeah, it was me. Yeah. I don't know. What did you do?

I hired a magician. And some people thought how exciting. And other people thought, I don't like that. I don't like that at all. How was that? What do we talk in like a few big tricks for the whole room or small close up magic with like little people around the room? So. Because there's a difference.

Yeah. So this guy, Lucas, traditionally like if he's at a wedding or a big party, he would go around the room and just do like little. As people are chatting. Yeah. Like a roaming magician. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's like close up magic.

Yeah. My friend Jane had a magician at her wedding. Was that fun? No. I mean, I didn't see it. So I can't, I can't comment. Was it maybe it was the same guy? It's probably the same guy.

Yeah. So. There can't be more than one. So because there's 15 of us at dinner. Yeah. It's small enough that everyone, like everyone is the little group. Yes. So he sits down at the dinner table, clear some spaces.

And it's like everyone gather around. And he sits next to Rach Echkels. Yeah. Whose birthday it also is and loves Christmas. Yeah. loves Christmas and hates magic, it turns out. So he goes, oh, do you love magic? And she looks at him and goes, no, I fucking hate it.

And she would not mince words. Yeah, and she didn't. But she doesn't. Like, she's very honest. She's like, oh, no, I don't like that. Yeah. Bridget was like, she goes, I don't like any magicians. They're lying to me.

I don't like being tricked. She sort of sees it as prank adjacent. Interesting. See, I think that magic is wonderful. Same. But it freaks me out. And then my brain gets ticking and I don't like that. So the guy looks at Anders and goes, think of a number.

And Anders goes like, you got me with this recently. He's like, think of like on a card. Yeah. And then. So you go like eight of clubs. Yep. Yeah. And he goes like, have I told you?

And Anders is like trying to trick him more sort of like go, oh no, like something to change his mind a bit. Oh, well, you can't. It's an honest system. It's like, oh, fucking magic man. Like, because everyone was like skeptical and kind of like fucking prove me wrong. Like everyone, people had chew, which I wasn't expecting. I thought everyone would be like, oh, cool, a fun trick, but people are like, fuck you.

You're not going to trick me. So then Anders goes, I think this. Actually, no, randomly, I'm going to do that. What are you going to do about that magic boy, I believe was a direct quote that came out of Anders. So he changed his mind and he's like, well, I'll go to the nine of spades then, actually. And then the magician goes, cool, check your pocket. Anders was furious. Pulled out the nine of spades or whatever the fuck I just said out of his and just went, what the actual.

No, see, that's so fun. Yeah. But stressful. So then Anders, he goes up to him and goes, I mate, luck. Between you and me. He goes, I actually, I work at a brewery. I'll give you. I don't know why he said this because what a fucking he goes,

I'll give you a free beer if you tell me how you did that. And the guy's like, well, no, like, I'm not going to tell you. Like, I've spent 15 years like crafting a trick. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to give me one beer. Not even a slap. Yeah.

It's like. Come down free beers for life. He goes, you know what? I'll spend my own $13 at Bodrigi and I'll buy my own. Yeah, and he goes, do you know how much I'm charged to be here? It's more than one beer, is what he said. Yeah, how much was the magician? For what it was, because I, when you book for a wedding or a thing, it can be like a few

hours, but I was like, can you just come in hot? Do five tricks. Is this at your house? No, but that's the guy. But that's the vibe. We're all sitting around. Actually, that sums up what it was like. That's amazing.

He was sitting at the table doing tricks and stuff. He looks like a lovely young man. He is a lovely. lovely young man. Yeah. So anyway, he, he fucking, Shaneel, my mate, who's a doctor. Yeah.

He does him in. Oh, well, Shannon and I would have had a lot to talk about. I should have come. Yeah. So, well, I invited you. I did.

When we were drunk at Gordon Ramsey. You took the invite back. I didn't. You invited me to your wedding ceremony. Yeah. And then you took that back. We both did some taking back. I didn't take anything back.

You, oh, it was the empty, emptier than my fucking colon. full full of five so he did shainle in fucking hard it was like pick any number between one and a hundred and then that number corresponded to like a name on a list that was on the other side of the room and then fucking this photo comes out and that's the number he but anyway it was fucking great shain or who like had a couple of drinks and whatever and is a doctor just

went as a man of science i reject your sorcery oh my god great group of friends you got who love fun Yeah, but so half of them were like, this is amazing. The other half were like, I don't get it. I'm freaked out. I don't know how I feel about this. So at what point in the night was this? Like, because can you imagine if it was right at the beginning of the night and then the rest of the night is a bit awkward?

Or imagine if it was at the end of the night and everyone's like, I guess we're at bed. Like. No, no. So here's what I was thinking. Because you got to place it well. It was after dinner. He came at 10. when everyone was like gassed up ready to go.

Had a few beds already. And so it was pretty loud. Like this guy walks into a room full of us. Like it's pretty intimidating as well. And he just dominated. But were you just so happy? I love the fuck about it. Yeah.

But at the end he like I was the final trick and I had to think of something and he just fucking nailed me from a mile away. Like I still don't know how he did it. But the people that in inverted commas hated it, I was like, they were like, oh, like, I hate the concept because I don't get it, but I actually loved your performance. You're impressed by the thing. Yeah, but so everyone hated the concept of magic, but loved the show that we got.

That's, but then, what a compliment. What a compliment. And so my friend Ryan, he got told to like, put his hands up, like, he had two fists up. And now he was like, cool, pick one of your hands. That one, cool. Put your hand down. And then the magician drew on his own hand across. then like rubbed his hand and the cross disappeared.

And he goes, hey, Ryan, open your hand. And it was written in Texta on his. So at some stage during the night, the magician must have like got that on his hand at some stage without him realizing. Like somehow. Yeah, it's fucked. But anyway, so after he leaves. Yeah. So after.

And the rest of the night, this is all we kept doing. Hey, Tony. Check your pocket. I'm not. But after he left, the whole... The text, I hadn't do the text up. But this thing, after he left, the whole party was just like, I think I saw when he came in and then, oh, no, and it was so, like, in a fun, like, we'd just seen a mystery and we just still couldn't believe it.

And the rest of the night, we were just like, oh, and he did this? And did you change your mind when he said that? Or are you sure he didn't, like, incepture somehow? And there was just... So it really kept going after he left. It was... That's good. The show was amazing.

but it was more amazing for the next hour because we were all like... Like debriefing. Yeah, but we were all like pretty... I reckon he's like, everyone's got their fucking theories and stuff, but it was crazy. I love that. Yeah.

Should we? Here's my pitch. Get him to come in here and do a trick for you. I would love it because I... Would you know? Yeah, because it stresses me out because I just want it. I just don't understand it. Yeah.

But I do feel very impressed by the craft. Yeah. Now, should he come just for like a Monday meeting? Just comes in and for the meeting. What is your favorite number, Tony? My favorite number? Yeah. Probably. Under, like 10 or under.

Probably seven. Interesting. Why? And what's your favorite color between red or black? Red or black? Yeah. Red. Okay.

No, I hate red. Black. So would you be more of a spade or a club type person? Spade. So seven of spades is what you're saying. Mm-hmm. Is it in my mouth? What?

Stand up and check your back pocket. And now I didn't tell you that number? Did I definitely not tell you that number? You made that up? You said that. I didn't tell you to say that? No, no, no, no, I just told that up there. Stand up.

This side back pocket. There's nothing good. Of course not. I'm not a fucking magician. Sit down. You're fucking. Oh. Oh.

That's red, Charles. And also that, what, that? That was prank adjacent. It was, but imagine if it was real. That's what this guy does. Yeah, that would have blown my mind. Yeah. Great.

How did he do it? Hi, I'm Eben from Wellington, New Zealand. I'm Lacey from Bulls Gap, Tennessee. Hi, I'm Bena Allen Wood from Phoenix, Arizona and the United States. And you're listening to Tony Ryan. I must have a shout out to a few of our. our magical champion tap is over at our Patreon. Gareth, good on you, Gareth.

Thank you very much being part of our Patreon. Amber, thank you so much. Amy, Tasha Price, Zoe Jackson, Eric Jester, Hannah Church. Get inside her on a Sunday. Hermine Keme, thank you, Hermine. Cartier Stoltz, Richard McPherson, and Rebecca Gundlach.

That's, of all the jokes we've made about names, that's probably the most fucked. Thank you. In a good way. Thank you so much. That was very impressive. Um, podcast away round seven winner has been announced. Yep.

Thank you very much. And congratulations to John from Ontario. We absolutely love to see it. He, there's a bit of chat. Yeah, you can see the video there. Yeah. Wanking off his mom and dad.

Is there a direct Ontario Fiji flight? I believe so. And I think it's $100. Great. Thank God. Thank God for that. Imagine if it was really expensive and really, yeah.

I'll put him on a bus. I'll put him on a bus. But you can enter the last and final round right now. So if you go to our Patreon, you join as a champion Tapa, you can enter right now. It's the last spot. One final spot for you and your plus one. So we called John to tell him he'd won and he was with his parents at the time and Tony

made a good point on like imagine trying to explain what the fuck just happened to your old parents. So they go, oh, who were they? And you go, oh, it's like this podcast. I listen to it and show you and they go, how do you know them? And they go, well, don't. I just. And they go, well, how'd they get your phone number? And he goes, no, mama.

I just can't even imagine trying to explain that. But how do you get the podcast if they're in Australia? Yeah, yeah. What time? Do you wake up really early to listen? I want you, if you're listening to this podcast or you're watching on YouTube, think about sitting in your lounge room in your favourite chair. Oh, I'm never not thinking about that.

Imagine in your phone, in your phone, in your pocket, your phone vibrates. Sure. You about sitting on my favorite chair. Yeah. No, it's good. It means you're feeling it. Yeah. Imagine your phone.

vibrating. Yeah. You open it. You answer it. And it's the two of us saying, would you like to come to Fiji? We're covering the flights. We're covering the hotel. We're going to apply a private island that we're sharing with some people. We're going to apply the sunscreen on you one day. We're going to go stand up paddboarding. We're going to have so much fun together. I'm going to hustle some things into your danger field bag at the buffet. Yep. We're all going to tell each other to have cash ready when we go to the airport on the last day. We're going to make sure we get a good taxi. Yeah. Yeah. I'll organize the transfer. imagine how that would feel getting that phone call.

And you're in control of that destiny. Yep. All you've got to do is be there. And do and enter. Do it. Sorry, it's Monday. Type a Holly's message, Tim. Hi, Holly.

I've been cheated on by a boy I love. Oh, fuck. Rough ass. I thought he was exclusive, but I've heard this boy is also with other people. Oh. Oh, that's fucked. And they've actually heard audio of this boy with other people. And we've got the audio here today.

What? Yeah, Charles Roller tape. Your number one hit music station, you're on Kirst, Mikey. Hello? Brooklyn, Amy Girard, back after our school holidays. We are taking your last calls right now, 13-106-5. We're going to do two rounds because so many people calling in to check that they're Telstra phone is working. Here we go. Charles, hello.

Hello. Yeah, I think Telstra might be up. It's just ahead of working and I've got services at soon. Okay, so you were down most of the morning? I've been down since about like 5 a.m. this morning. So yeah, it's just come back up. Good, mate. All right. It's working for Charles. Get out. Get out. Turning up on another fucking show. Here I thought we were exclusive. And you're calling in to kiss to give them an update on Telstra. Not only are you listening to a radio station, you called in. Because my phone had been down the whole morning. I can't listen to Spotify on the way.

Well, I wish it was still down so he couldn't fucking call him. So last week, Telstra's down. And so Charles doesn't have internet to listen to it. This is his, oh, I didn't have internet. So I couldn't listen to a podcast. So I had to listen to the old school analog radio. And they'll do it a call in. And so I called, and the chemistry between you and Mike E was off the charts.

I can't believe you got on the air. It was crazy that they could accept. Hey, Charles, if you're working, yep. Thanks for calling. Yeah, it sounds like it. Well, all morning they'd be saying, like, call in like, uh, to like test your phone server. So I decided to call in and I got through straight away.

And they go, God, phone sounds to be working. No one's ringing up. But here's something. Yeah. They, you call them and they go, why did you call? And they go, oh, sorry, no one's called this number in months. Now I actually... Charles, I cannot believe that you would call Kiss.

That has hurt me more than I can ever explain. Really? Yeah, that's really... On a fucking Monday. Well, technically it was last... End of last week. But I'm hearing it on a fucking Monday. Now, I...

We don't like to victim blame here, but what was Tapa Holly doing listening to Kiss when that happened? Well, Holly's the next fucking victim. I mean, next person on my hit list. Yeah. Holly and Charles, you know what? I hope you have a great fucking life together. Charles drove my car to the shops the other day

I was I'd parked him in and he was like oh can I just take your car and I was like yeah I don't care and then how many times I've asked to drive that out in so many. I've driven it a few times now yeah anyway Charles just took my car and then he gets back and I was like oh did you crush it and he goes only twice and I was like Slate and then and then he goes oh but I couldn't be bothered setting up my like Apple car plane stuff so I just put the radio on. Oh, that is, yeah, I mean.

No, well, he's going to, do you know what would be fair? Do you how many months it would take me to get my Apple Carplay onto a new car? Oh, you can barely get it onto the one that you got. So that's, I'll actually cop that. And then I, well, I got back in the car and Nova was blasting in the car. At least it was Nova. Yeah. I'd switching.

Is Kiss a bit too light? Kiss is too close to home, I think. Yeah, still a bit raw. Because every time I think about it, I think about how horribly I was treated in that building and Charles doesn't even care. Holly doesn't even care. Mikey and Emma, they don't even care. Emma's not there.

Emma's not there. Sorry, Emma. Sorry, Emma to bring you into this. I know you're on two day FM now. Oh, is she still? Oh, maybe not. Wow, this podcast is recorded live and you just never know it today. You never know.

Um, Charles, that's hurt me more than I can explain. I can't have you called a radio station. They weren't even offering a prize. It's actually the top of the first. I was the first time I'd be on Kissina. When I was 18, I got the birthday wheel with Carl and Jackie. Did you win the birthday with? Did you win anything?

What'd you win? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, wasn't a trip to fucking Fiji, was it? I sold it on Facebook marketplace, but I didn't. You flipped it. I did. And that's why Kyle and Jackie O finished, because they were like, we're working so hard for these prizes and these ungrateful callers are just flipping a prize pig,

prize pick. flipping them on Facebook marketplace. Do you know what, when you called up and probably said, Charles, birthday, 18. They didn't. They asked me my name and age. Oh, interesting. Ages because they heard your voice and went, is this guy. They went, do we need to ask your mom and dad if you can be on the radio?

Have you used your mum's mobile? Yeah. Is it your mum's mobile that's not working? Yeah. Oh. I think I've got something to cheer you up and you're going to need it. Josh? I can't look at you right now.

She's rattled. And Holly as well. Was it Holly denim? I don't know. I fucking hope it wasn't. Can you just play the actual call bit again? Listen to the rapport. Charles, hello.

Hello. Yeah, I think Telstra might be up. It's just started working and I've got services it soon. Okay, so you were down most of the morning? I've been down since about like 5 a.m. this morning. Okay. So yeah, it's just come back. Back up.

Good, mate. All right. It's working for Charles. Oh, my God. I mean, content like that. I mean, it's unbelievable. You got to listen to it twice to really appreciate. The comrata is.

HelloNews.com. Did they take me live? Charles, did they pre-record you? Take me live. They took me life. I hung up and I heard it on the radio straight away. In delay.

That's all right. They still run on 30 second delay? I think so, yeah. Yeah. Fuck, that's all right. though they took you alive they trusted you you get on there you go fuck around the pussy i'm going to call the radio station and do it you know the number and go fuck around the pussy no but my number will come up are they still maybe they've moved over to fucking something else

and it's you call in my number say charles and just go hi i'm using telstra fine it's working sorry charles but i'm just feeling hurt by that i was listening to the radio i thought i'd get the experience, you know? Call he called for me. Why did it take you this long time, like, lose your shock when you were told this information? When I found out, yeah, I was just like. Like, I'm, my flabbers are gasted.

I am feeling busted by that. I think I just went, okay. Now, I'm actually changing what I'm going to talk about. It's like. Because I don't respond. bond, don't take this on. I'm just going to say what we were going to talk about. Yeah.

But I think considering how busted you are by that, I had some correspondence about your dislike for mashed potatoes, but I mean, I ain't going to kick a slut while she's down. That's not what I'm about. I'm not going to ask you to respond to the 4,716 comments disagreeing with your negative stands on mashed potatoes. I'm not going to mention the online campaign. against me.

Christy Webeck who said you've lost all credibility. Yep. Because it's not the day. It's not the day. It's not the day. And I'd hate for you to mention any of those at all. Yeah, I don't want to mention that Teigen... Oh, 131065.

What's your favourite potato? Hi, it's Charles. I can't have dairy. Don't mock that because we did that. Yeah, we did it. Yeah. Like literally we just talked about potatoes for a whole episode. So let's not get anyone's fucking get off our hiles

about what is and is not fair game. Nah. What I will do, though, is read this comment. from HPL. Hopefully it's not Holly, but they're HPL. Tony referring to cooking as food craft has fundamentally changed the inside of my brain

on how I view making dinner every night. Oh, that makes me so happy. Thank you, Queen, for your fabulous insights. You've changed my brain for the better and I now love something I hated. That is the impact you have on the world. It's like, thank you so much for that. because he did it for me as well.

Yep. We got another comment here from Mikey. He said Telstra is back. Charles, just let me know. Well, the producer said to me before head. They're like, you can break the news to Mikey, and I did. Beep-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-p is he exclusive. Oh, Scoop, John's on the line.

Oh, my God. I got to love to see it here. This is from Tape of Chris. Hi, Chris. I went to visit a friend up north in the UK. It was a Sunday afternoon, and we went to a gay club. Don't the gays just fucking Oh, what are you doing this Sunday afternoon?

Let's go to a club. Let's go have fun. I love it. It's called the Flying Handbag. A regular Sunday afternoon. Stripper, drag queen, sing-alongs. Fun. Strippers in daylight is crazy, but...

Maybe it was inside. So true. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but it just, it feels like a nighttime activity. Lots of us were then given bananas and there was a game about who gave the best blow. jobs. It was graded on technique, enthusiasm and how far you could go down without gagging. My love to see it is that I won the competition. Chris! Well done, Chris. That is amazing.

I won a banana painted gold as my prize and everyone in that club bowed to me because they knew I sucked it better than anyone else there, which had a gay bar. Yeah, guess who didn't leave alone. Yeah. Spent Sunday night with someone I reckon. One of my proudest moments, says Tarpie. Chris. Chris, you have done the tapas proud with

that. Yeah. We can all know that we are part of a community where someone won a prize for

giving the best gob. Yeah. Now, are you, and the answer can be both. Are you proud

of Chris or are you a bit like, no, I'm very proud. But are you bit like, well, are you better than me?

No, no, no, no. No. I am a gob queen. But there's excellence among us.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. I do have a question though. Game respects game. Yes, exactly right.

I do have a question though about the aforementioned decision about hand jobs being for summer and blow jobs being for winter is that a point of contentioning this or no seasonal not affected I'm going to speak to the staff at the flying handbag well I think that we just need to make sure that

like both hemispheres are respecting the rules because it sounds like people are sucking dicks in summer in the UK right now that's what I'm hearing you know what I'm hearing me moving to the UK I'll suck cock all year round Well, to be fair, it is cold all year round. True. So maybe it's just more of a degrees setting.

If it's over 23, I'm not on my knee. But if it's under 26, get in the wrist. If you're not too far south, you don't go on the mouth is what they've always said. Because maybe... If the mercury is low, I will blow. I doubt it. Would have got beeped. Would it got beeped.

I've got to you love to see it here from Shane Curl. So you know Shane and Kylie, who we met at the cricket and their son Hamish? Yes. Yes. Yes. So Shane is a little bit older and never got his driver's license. Yeah. And has over the last few years been like, you know what?

I really want to try and I really want to get this. But obviously, like the longer you wait, the more nervous you get, you feel like, oh, am I too old to try and do this thing? you know, feel a bit embarrassed. Shane and I've been chatting at length over the last few months. He started doing some lessons, got some confidence up. Could you have experience with this concept? Well, because Todd's got his license later in life. Yeah.

He's off his peas in November. It's like, I know. Guess you can have a beer and drive home. Yeah. And great. Yeah. But Shane. Rumour hasn't he drank 300 beers with his mates on a Monday afternoon in your house

the other day. And I absolutely love it. Yeah. I love it. And then they caught the train somewhere. Yeah, we didn't drive. Well, Of course.

Yeah. But yeah, they called the train. They're having a great time. Anyway, Shane messaged. Bebitt-bib with some great news. He had his test. First try. I fucking passed.

With 100%. Is that possible? Apparently. Did you pass on the first go? No. Neither. I passed on my like six or seventh. I've said this on the pod before.

No, Charles. No six. or seven. But yeah, my six or seventh try to get my license, I think. What happened on the first five? I was so anxious.

Yeah. I just got so nervous. And then I had like, you're overthinking and you just, overthought it. And then like, I feel like, even though maybe I wasn't technically doing a lot of stuff

wrong, they could see I wasn't confident and so found ways to fail me. You're not ready. Yeah. And I wasn't. So tell me about after that. six or seven's try. How did it feel when you passed?

Oh my God, it felt amazing. Yeah. And the guy who did my test, my very last one, where I did pass, he was such a lovely man that I hadn't had before. That's nice.

And he was like, oh, what are you going to go do at uni? And like, because I was 18, he's like, oh, are you going to study?

Like, what do you think of doing? And because he kind of chatted to me, it calmed me down. What a nice guy. Yeah, he's a real sweetheart. But yeah,

no, so I did not pass the first few guys. Well, we can't always. be legends. We can't all be like Shane. He said, I'm so proud of myself. Can't believe it.

It's like a dream. And he said, you and my wife, Kylie, and so many others believed in me when I didn't. And I pass. I can't believe it. Shane, congratulations. We're very proud of you. That's awesome. I just want to apologize that if you send this episode to any people being like, I got

a shout out on the pod that they just had to hear us talking about sucking dicks in the UK for 20 minutes. And the radio. Sorry that you had to hear a kiss. Tomorrow on the show. Oh. Oh no. would you lie for me?

Yeah. Great. I got a favour tomorrow. So cool. Chatty then. Bye.