Toni and Ryan - Ryan Couldn't Finish On A Plane

Episode Date: May 17, 2026

Irish Spice Bags - Toni on the plane - Monday mailbag - love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Blue bald in the sky. They've stroked you for nine hours and you're just about to fucking... So did you do it? Hey, I'm Paul. I'm Michael. Hi, I'm Caroline from Brussels, Belgium. I'm Tara. This is Bob.

We're from me from Ontario, Canada. And we're going to do this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, bestselling Dr. Author Tony Lodge. And welcome to the Airbnb in Dublin. We're in Dublin. And we are having...

coffee and Tony's just had a high July. I'm having a Lucas Aid because we are so dry and hung over. Is it because of the Guinness we had yesterday? I probably didn't help. But what is it from? I actually don't know what you're talking about. The spice bags. Oh, sorry.

I was like, what are you doing that? We're dried from the spice bag. I mean, I just think that I'm dry from like not drinking enough water, but the spice bag definitely did not help the case. I didn't eat that much of it, though. I was not a fan of the spice bag, unfortunately. I think in the video we showed of the bag, we didn't show off the curry sauce enough.

Everyone was like, you didn't add curry sauce. We did. And we actually ordered, because it didn't come with, we ordered like a bunch of extra, like, tubs of it. And we were dipping as we went. Yeah, it wasn't for me. I think it was like a good quality,

like, it wasn't that it tasted bad. I just didn't. like it. Yeah. Do you know, like, because there's a, because people like, oh, maybe just. Yeah, I've had faith that you like it. Yeah, but I think that it wasn't that we had a bad one. I think I just didn't like it.

I think also because I was, we had Guinness and food, there was just so much, like, the quantity was so overwhelming. Like, I held the bag up and just went, I don't know. I don't think it was like too. I mean, I didn't eat very much of it. Yeah. Because I didn't injure, like, it wasn't as if I was like, God, I'm stuffed. I was just like, oh.

I'm not going to keep eating this. I assume there's no raccoons in Ireland. What's an animal that would steal stuff from bins? Whatever that animal is, they're going to have a fucking field day at our house. Because if someone finds our bin, they're going to be like, fuck me up. There's like eight spice bags in here. Chicken balls and chips and spice. Yeah, if you see a bird flying around going, yeah, it's because they've been out of

been four kilos of spice bag. Charles, have you googled what's most likely to steal from our bin in Ireland? Yeah, and it says seagull. and foxes are the most common culprit. We saw that huge seagull yesterday. The biggest seagull, and you know why now? Yeah. They're full of spice bag.

Full of spice bag. People are throwing them out and they're eating them out of the bin. I did try to feed that seagull a chip. Yeah. And it didn't want it. It was full. Well, it had eaten so many chips. The sea gall was so big.

It was probably just like, oh, I actually don't take it without seasoning. Like, because it's normally only a spice bag chip. I was, I'm really disappointed. about the spice bag. I'd been excited to eat that for like years. I'd been seeing it on Instagram. Is this the first time we've turned up to a country and just not love the fuck out of the first recommendation we've got?

Because don't get us wrong, we're still going to move to Dublin. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah. We're still moving here. So a beautiful time of year. When the sun's out, it's just like the most prettiest, prettiest place in the world. We've swam. Every little set of shops has a little flower store and a little delicatessen and a cat.

It's cute. I didn't realize how cute it would be. Thanks for saying delicatessen. Thank you. Not just a deli, a delicatessen. Well, I've got passport personality and I'm using words longer than six letters because I'm overseas and I'm feeling good. Yeah, I love that. And it's 4 a.m. at home at the moment.

And look at us. No, we don't do that. No, but that's what I mean. And who gives a fuck because it's daylight. No, but you're not even supposed to think about it. You're actually right. Jet lag is a choice and you don't, you can't do that to yourself. To be fair, none of us have chosen that.

Yeah, we're doing pretty well. Yeah. Tommy did wake up at 4 a.m. and run 10 kilometres this morning. Yeah, absolutely aggressive. Yeah. He posted his Strava thing on his Instagram story, and I came out here with my hair like in the air. Like, I just woke it on.

I was just like so dishevelled. I was like, did you just run 10 kilometers? How did he? I was like, oh, okay, cool. Yeah, well, some of us just thrive in our own way. Yeah. And that's all I've just said on. And I just forgot to turn my Strava on.

Oh, and don't you hate that? Yeah. I hate it when I've run 25Ks. And then I go, oh, I forgot to do my Zrava. Charles, are you running the, hackney half marathon this weekend which will be yesterday maybe we'll see I love that for you and you got such a good time because it's already happened um speaking of things that have already happened not quite but almost tomorrow night is my hens party yep um so Ryan is donning the

beautiful Tony and Ryan cap which will be available on the day and this bag um that says I spent the night with Tony and Ryan Tony's hens party's got the date and the location there um that'll be available. They'll be available. And they're really fine. That bag's got a gusset. It does have a gusset. There were,

there were a question. There were gusset questions. Yep. And I was happy to oblige. We flew here from Melbourne and fuck, it's a long way. Yep. It's a long way. Um, we flew, um, separately.

So Ryan, um, we took a, we took, we took, we took different routes. We took different routes to get here. Um, I use my points and save some cash ol like. Made a last minute decision. Yeah, it was like the last minute. And Ryan was like, oh, they've just opened up this other flight. Like, do you mind if I go? I was like, no, absolutely go.

And so Ryan left like a couple of hours before us and got here a day earlier. Found a direct link. And we flew from Melbourne to Perth, Perth to Singapore, Singapore to London, and then London to Dublin. It was a very long way. And we... do try we've traveled everywhere that we've gone right like in the last five years since we've been doing this has been always together and we can keep each other like on we always sit next to each other um and so it was weird traveling and I was with the crew

obviously and with torbs and uh so it was weird traveling without you but did you miss me I did actually did you go who's going to hold the plane up and go take a piss when it's too late if Ryan's not here yeah who is the flat attendant going to ask whether I'm traveling with Mr. Ryan John and if he's okay. Yeah. Is he going to be joining us shortly? Yeah. But we...

Was it weird not waiting out the front of the bathrooms all the time? We actually still did that. Yeah. Oh, great. Yeah. So I wasn't even missed. I was quite sweet because we all held each other's bags and stuff. Yeah. It was really nice.

That's nice. But from the London, no, the Singapore to London route, leg, sorry. The big one. Was 14 hours. Yeah. It's a, she's a long. Yeah.

And I was, I took one for the team and I sat in the middle seat the whole way. That is taking one for the team. Thank you so much for saying that. And but by the end. So Torbs, Tony. Then Tommy. Yeah. And then so by the time.

Did you take it in turns who you'd climb over to pee? I got up once and it was while Torbs was already up. That's good. Once in 14 fucking hours. Yeah. Tommy messaged me and goes, I guess I go fuck myself. Yeah. Tommy goes, oh, I thought she'd climb over me, but she wanted to.

Like at least once or twice, you know. But yeah, so I got up once. And so by the end of this flight, I really had beans in my bottom. Yeah. Like, I started getting the wiggles and I was just fucking over it. Yeah. And I was just like sitting there and you just can't get comfortable. And because you're like sitting up, right, for all that time, my hips were just really tight and sore.

And you're just trying to like kind of, anyway. How hard to recline? Or did you get a bit nervous? Was there anyone behind you? No, we were the back row. Oh, but did you hit the wall? Yeah, so we could recline back a bit. Guilt-free reclining.

But the person in front of us could recline deeper. And so you had to kind of recline to like get away from them. So it's like... So our pitch is like that, but they could go like that. So they're like... That's inequality. Inequality of reclining. Reclination.

I don't know if that's what. Anyway, but so I'm signing to get like real. beans and my bum and as we're kind of, they're like, all right, we're going to start our descent soon. I'm like, could not come a moment too soon. Let's go. Like, this is exactly what we need. Anyway. And then you know, like the flight attendant, Stephen, who is a tap-up.

He's a big fan. And he treated us very well. Looked after us on the Qantas fly. He starts doing his little spiel as we're kind of starting the descent. Yeah. And, um, and that's all good. And then we all like, you know, they take the rubbish. They do all stuff.

And then as we land, they go, welcome everybody. We've just landed in Heathrow. The current temperature is blah, the fucking this, that and the other. Do their whole spiel. And then he goes, and just a little quick one from us, is that a huge happy birthday to our flight attendant Joe, whose 21st birthday it is today. Joe, happy 21st, Joe. Well, I thought the same. I thought, how bloody exciting.

So I started singing happy birthday because I had all this silly willies in my bum. And I just got so excited. What are you about to show me? What the fuck are you about to show me? I have a video of me. No, you don't. I started singing and because I stood next to Tommy, he's like, well, I need to film this for work. So I've got a video here.

Why do you have a... This is why you can't be trusted on your own. Thank you. Hip hip hip. I got the hip hip. So that's like right at the end. I would hear about that on the book on. And then, and so Charles was, um, because, hang on, did everyone sing happy birthday?

So I started it and like people joined in. I couldn't hear the joiners. You, because it's right at the end. I do have another video though, because, um, as you know, Charles is, um, quite rich. And so he wasn't sitting by us. Where was he sitting? He was, he was a few further, rise further up than us. And he got this from a different part of the plane.

Happy birthday to you Hooray Hooray See you can hear all the people that joined in And I still No you can It sounded like Charles And you guys

No no no no listen Because all the other people are you If you show me different angles of you No Actually I'll give you that Everybody joined it Like it was everyone But sorry

He goes, and I went, happy, but, and then I kind of stopped because it was like, just as a job. And then people are to you. And I was like, oh, yeah, happy. I wrote it out. Yeah. And everybody loved it. And then I won the hip hip hip and it was absolutely magical. Okay.

I love everything about this, but you've used a word where. That I won the hip hip hip. Yeah. Yeah. Because you've got to get in there fast. I don't think many people see that as winning. Oh, no, it is. Oh, thank you, Charles.

We did two hip hips. Yeah, as a power move. and then I clapped. And then someone else went here. Oh. That's not a shirk. That's awful. Here I was thinking you're spreading the joy of hip hips around the world.

An international hip hip hip-hipper. Yeah. And you, I get to him on the last one. No, no, no, no,

because I go back to London right now and finish that final hip. So, Joe, I'm sorry you didn't get your third hip. Happy 21st birthday, though. Also. Do you remember being 21? And having a job?

Like, who's that? Yeah, besides Charles. Wow. Yeah, so I... I actually know Charles wasn't sitting that far ahead of you because I was texting Charles on the plane

and I remember sending the joke saying I didn't realize they had Wi-Fi all the way back down there and he said, no, they were all good. So I know he was only two, Rosie. Yeah, but we... Because I did say, can you see the plebs from where you are and he said, I'm sitting with them. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, your flight sounds significantly more joyous than mine. and I've got a complaint. You needed me. I did need you. Can I tell you the most outrageous thing that will make you so upset? Yeah. It's more upsetting than getting two hip hips into a tri-hip hip-hip and then the bitch backing out.

Yep. I didn't back out. I was in control. Backing out is still a decision. But I didn't back out. Well, you didn't follow through. No, but I didn't back out. What's the opposite?

of backing out. No, but I was driving the car. I didn't slam the brakes on. I drove the car. We do. You slammed them on after two. And then I directed people to an applause. This is so upsetting. Is this country or this, so you're going to London then, were you?

Are they hip-hippers? I don't know. Because in America. But I mean, there was a lot of Australians on that plane. Oh, of course. So, like, because they'd all done the same route as us. Anyway. So I get on my long leg.

and the middle one um um don't even like that only two legs though i discovered this new show which came out a year or so ago it's the day of the jackal with eddie redmayne hard recommend yeah because it comes out and you know it's got a little trailer and it goes this guy's an assassin like a hitman and he's really good at disguises and dressing up and that's how he does that and i was like fuck you've read me yeah sure i've gone you have just really summed me up dress-ups, an undercover sniper. A twist. A tweet. And I was just like, you know what? We got a long time on this flight. Yeah. I'm going to settle right in 10 episodes. It's a TV show, 10 episodes. Yep. I actually recommend this show. It's great. It's really great.

What? Now, you've just brought up the show so many times. Like, to ask, like, you've been, oh, do I tell you that I watch a show on the plane? Like, it's just so funny. No, I love it for you. and he got God that Eddie Redmayne's good isn't he like this he is good he's a great actor don't tell you I watched that show on the plane underrated yeah it was good so like all good TV now every episode kind of leaves you on a bit of a cliffhanger and you've got to hit play yeah and so I was kind of like oh yeah but I just I was in the zone and I was like you know you sitting there can't couldn't sleep though I'm like

oh just just keep it playing I'm sitting here so and every episode but yeah and so between Melbourne and Dublin, I'm like, I think I'm going to nail all tenet. Fuck yeah. Yeah. And it's really building up to the crescendo of like, you know, no spoilers, but like, you know, building up to this big thing and is he going or is he not or is it going to work? It's not going to work. Sure.

You know how some shows on airlines, they don't have all the episodes. They've just got some. Yeah. I do fucking, I do fucking know. There's 10 episodes of the Day of the Jackal. and on the airline they supply nine of them. Can you fucking believe that bullshit? What's the point?

What's the point in that? And guess how I complain to about it? No one, because I didn't fly with you guys. I just sat there by myself going. Yeah. Because by the time you get to the ninth, they've really fucking turned to. They've stroked you for nine.

hours and you're just about to fucking and then you wouldn't last nine hours but yes i get what you're saying we've tried blue balled in the sky oh your next album but i'm like if you're not going to do all of them give me two or fucking don't even put it on and the crazy thing for you it's a long haul flight what i'm going to do you now well the crazy thing is is that you aren't going to seek out the 10th episode and watch it no one's no one's watching no one's watching nine episodes out of ten and not watching the tenth but how are you but you're not going to like i know you i just know that you won't and that's no no shade on you it's like oh that's really fucking annoying i've got a shout out yeah so i got here a bit before you guys yeah left a few hours

earlier got here four days before you guys um so i get here and then you go well fuck what streaming service is it on but we're in a different region it's all different thing Your logging start fucking work. Yeah. It turns out streaming services in Ireland is a minimum six month commitment. They don't fucking jank your chain with a seven day trial. They don't give you a seven day trial. You know, sometimes like, oh, try for free.

And I'm like, give me a 52 minute trial. All I want is this fucking 10th episode because I'm right on the edge. So did you do it? Shout out. In fact, I'm not going to shout them out specifically for the reasons you'll, someone's uploaded the last episode in a dodgy way to YouTube. I'm about to commit to fucking Sky TV Island for six months. Yeah, yeah.

And they go, but I've clicked with them like, did you want the sports package? You go, that is good value. Yeah. And then, oh, did you want a HBO included? I'm like, well, it's a premium TV. Yeah. And so I'm, and I just went, I will just type this into YouTube and see what happens. And like I said, I won't shout it, but it's just this.

random. Did you, and you watched it? I sat. It was worth it? Well, I felt closure. Yes.

Yep. It felt conclude. Well, Oh. Spoilers. No, it gave maybe season two vibes, but it wrapped up season one.

That's good. Yeah, but I, can I say I'm actually really proud of you? Because you would normally just go, God, that sucked and then like not. But I was so deep in it.

I was almost in the taxi. Gonna like go on Wikipedia and just be like, well, what happened? Just read the synopsis of... Yep. Because I'm... I can't sleep until I know how this ends.

And... I'm really proud of you. Thank you. But you know who I'm not proud of? Who? The programming team of that fucking airline. Do you know what that... What a wild fucking decision.

The other thing that they do... What a wild decision. If you click like box sets and it's like, oh, all the episodes and I go, oh, okay, great. And then... That's what I... And that's how I got... And then it'll be like, yeah, we've got season five of the office you were. nothing else we've got season do you know on that quantus plane yeah they had

season 22 of Grey's Anatomy well I haven't seen seasons one through 21 yeah what am I gonna do do you think it's up to them or is this a part of the marketing scam if they had a said when I clicked on the box set thing by the way it's not all of it we've only got nine out of ten I would have gone I'm not putting myself through No, a thousand percent you wouldn't watch it. Because I'm like, I'm setting myself up for failure. Because do you remember on that plane when I watched the Matrix 1 and 3? Because I didn't know what number 2 was called and it wasn't on the plane?

To the two matrix wasn't it? And I said to, and then I said to Torbs like, oh, I quite like the first one, but the third one didn't really make sense. And he was like, what? I was like, the second one didn't really make sense. He was like, oh, what happened? I explained it to him. He goes, that's the third one. one.

Do you watch the second one? I was like, that wasn't on there. You can't have Shrek 1 and Shrek 3. Shrek 2 is the best one. I'm going to ask you something crazy. And I know that there is no right answer. So let me just put that out there.

No, thank you so much. Safe space. As a community of Tarpers, you listening, you watching, Tony. If there was 10 episodes of something and you could only pick nine, like which is the one you would choose to leave out?

Four. It's always a filler episode. I was going to say, seven or eight because I reckon they get to there and they go, you know what we'll do? We'll chuck a bit of backstory in here. Oh, let's fucking, let's really go into the murderer's back thing. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I just want to know who did it, dog. Yeah, who did it? In fact, give me first and last. I reckon you could give me the first and last of White Lotus and it would probably be all right. You could watch two minutes of White Lotus and know exactly what was going on. The rest of that's filler and a reason for them to go on a free fucking holiday. I'll just remind you what you're doing right now.

I'm not on holiday. I'm working. I'm just good. If you had great hot take for when we're back home. I reckon, no, you need the last three minutes of the last episode of a White Lotus. Because again, you just need to know the who did it or who died or whatever. That show is the biggest waste of time, mate. I want to like it, but it's just, and I've watched all of it, but I just, ugh.

Anyway, thanks having us quarters. Hi, I'm Caroline from Brussels, Belgium. I'm Tara. This is Bob. Mine's Paul I'm Michael We're from Sydney That's Dory

And you're listening To Tony and Ryan A massive shout out to a few of our champion typas Over at our Patreon Thank you very much for being here For listening For being part of it They joined us

Our champion typas joined us For a day of playing Mario car Right before we took off That was really fun That was great And we did it pretty well Although who was that Who did we slander

Rosalina That bitch Rosalina Yeah I didn't even know Rosalina was a character In Mario Kart Yeah

Oh yeah You gotta be right in it Yeah Didn't she just really Turn it up Yeah I didn't like that At all Um

A few of Tony got a bit of What was it White Line fever? Yeah What was the? She was what I say on the track

Like Just don't take a person Yeah Yeah exactly Oh Stay on the Forget I said anything Yeah

Um As you shout out To a few of our Champion Tappas though Anna Rush Oh well we were in a rush when we played Marika.

Lena Garnham, good on you, Lena. Beck Schilver, Kelsey Roush, Taylor Geyer, Cessaly, thanks Cecily, Cara Hode, Kate Edwards, Katie Reid, Jade Martin and Kiwi Matt. Kiala. We're in Dublin right now, but thanks, Kiwi Matt. Technically, the furthest away from New Zealand you could be.

Is it? What's further away? Because I reckon by the time you get to Iceland, you're almost close to the other way. Don't think about that too hard. Yeah, I guess you could be more rural in Ireland. True.

Like further away from the airport, you know, because right now we're in Dublin. So it's like, you know. Capital city furthest away from New Zealand. It says parts of Spain, Portugal and Morocco. Oh. One more leg. You can watch the last episode of your show. Oh.

Sorry. Some sick in suburban Dublin has just rev their engine. He's playing Mario Kart out there. Oh yeah. You can't really see from people. watching on YouTube, but we are not in the city. We had to get an Airbnb for a lot of us, and the closest one we found was in deep in the suburbs.

I like it. It's very pretty, but there isn't a lot of... It's so lush here. Like, the greenery is crazy. Is it like that year round, I'm guessing it is. It's very nice. We've got these cool thing in Australia called droughts. Oh, we're not proud of that?

I don't think so. Okay, I'm still learning when to do those ones. I would say never. Yeah. I just want to be cool that, Tony Lodge. Do I do that? Yeah. Oh, okay.

For example, last time you said, what was the last good one? The first time I was in a limo was at my mum's funeral. See? That's good timing. Yeah, that is good timing for me. Last week we had umbrella chat.

Tony burned the place down saying umbrellas. A fucking stupid. And so are the people that buy them. And the people that invented them. Yes, and make them and distribute them and sell them. Jess lives in Washington State. Oh, hang on. So that's not Washington, Washington, is it?

That's different. It's not Washington, D.C. Washington State is Seattle? Oh, no, I think that's Oregon. They're not going to like that. No, and that's not Oregon either. Seattle's not in Oregon. Yeah, Seattle's Washington State.

Oh, nice. Yeah. We've been to Seattle. Yeah, I loved Seattle For two hours after he spent A good chunk of our day With the good people on the border Being detained

Yeah, that's okay These things happen Here in Washington State It's the quickest way to tell If someone is a tourist or a loser Is if they've got an umbrella No one here uses umbrellas And you'd be publicly shamed if you did

I'm really glad to hear that Seattle did feel right to us Seattle was cool Yeah I really liked it there And except for that gum place we went. The gum wall.

That little minty stanky. I didn't like that. Seattle was the last city I was in before I broke my foot. So true. Isn't that beautiful? That flight from Seattle to L.A. was the last one you had, not in a boot. Yep. Dark.

Dark Fane. That's the name on YouTube. As a Brit, I always thought umbrellas were pointless. If it's raining, it's too windy and they break anyway. But then I moved to Japan. Oh. It's a warm, humid rain. It's a different beast.

And suddenly umbrellas make total sense. Most stores even let you wrap and leave them in the entrance. Japan has this, like everything out, figured out. I have actually used an umbrella in Japan. Interesting. Like, because in the Airbnb that we stayed in. Or actually in all of them, I think they've got like umbrellas by the door for you to take and use. And of course, the umbrella.

umbrellas are very chic there. They're all, it's just see-through. Oh. So, like, you can hold it right down and still, like, see where you're going. Interesting. Yeah. But they're saying, because it's a warm, humid rain, it's not like crazy, stormy, windy, so it's like a different vibe.

The wind does, I think, play a big part in it. Because remember the day that we talked about the umbrellas on the pod? And then Tommy, on our team, he said that he'd taken his dog for a walk that day, and the umbrella blew inside out. That's crazy. I don't know if you're being a dick to me or not. No, just umbrellas. But like that had happened that same day.

Like, coincidence, chat. Bryn Thorne said raincoats are for children. Umbrellas are for adults. Grow the fuck up. Oh, no. Umbrellas are not for adults. Because adults don't mind if they get a little bit wet. Someone did say what...

Like, it just doesn't fucking matter. Well, someone did say, because we got really freaked out about how an umbrella gets wet and gross. Yeah, and they like, you got to go. Yeah. And then someone goes, so does the raincoat. And I went, so true.

Yeah. Great point that we had not fully thought through. But I think because a raincoat is like takes up less, like, whereas when you've got an umbrella, you've got to like put it somewhere. A raincoat, you can kind of just like pop it in your bag or like on the back of your chair or something. Yeah, easy. Now, this person is on our side. Yep.

Because it could be Addie, but I'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt. Oh, but just the vibe I think it's going for. I think I could read it a different way and it could sound g-se. But I think they're trying to be nice. They're on our side. Okay. Taylor. Hi, Taylor.

Tony, I'm crossing my fingers and toes for you. I love you. I just really hope it doesn't rain on your wedding day. Oh, I couldn't give a fuck. Your dress sounds like it's going to be awesome. But how does it look with a cat and hand do jacket? Because you know you see this bitch? It's a bit rainy.

Oh, be cute. Yeah. And I was kind of like, like, that is true. And I actually said to you down the street the other day, I was like, the day off that episode, I was like, Tony, like, you can never use an umbrella again. You can't be seen with an umbrella for the rest of you. Like, you've hot take to town. Legally.

Legally. Yeah. And then I was like, Taylor, that is actually a really great like, asterisk of like. Yeah. Cute little white one matches. Oh, a little, oh, it's a bit rainy. Yeah. And then I just see you in, what's your jacket?

big green one. My green jacket. Yeah, my green rain coat. Just chuck it over the top. I'll just chuck that on. And then I'll just hold it. When it's not on, I'm just holding it like this.

You got somewhere for my jacket? I do. Yeah. But I mean, that's funny. The time difference? That's good. But I think,

I would expect it to rain, though, on when we get mad. Like, I'm kind of, I wouldn't be surprised. Oh, number in winter. Oh, like July, you know, it's going to rain. It's going to rain.

Last week we reenacted someone getting dumped in a hot air balloon. Nicole Harrah said, way to go, Charles. You knocked it out of the park as the hot air balloon operator. And I agree. In fantasy, you really did. Albert said, Charles fucking killed as the hot air balloon operator. Well done. CJ said, Charles absolutely numberslade as the hot air balloon person.

I can't breathe. It was so funny. That is so funny. Kelly said, Coincidence chat. I was in a hot air balloon on Friday. Oh. Like a few days after the episode.

I'm so sorry, but I'm going to have to stop you right there. Friday might be the craziest day that you could have told me that you're in a hot air balloon. And I'm about to make a statement. I know it's only Monday. We're not hot taken right now. Yeah.

A hot air balloon's for the weekend. That's for the weekend. You can't be ballooning on a weekday. I think we should change the description of this podcast where it just says, we discuss which days of the week things are most likely to happen. Things can happen. I would agree Sunday morning feels like prime time. Or even a Saturday.

Saturday. But then what is the hot air balloon going to do during the week? They got bills to pay. You can't just pay rent on the weekend. You know what I'm saying? But who's doing it during the week? That feels crazy. I'll pay a Friday morning, a long weekend.

Like you're not ballooning to work. Are you, Charles? Yeah. Every day, actually. Maybe you should be. You know, and because it's unpredictable. Like, it's not like a reliable form of transport. Take that back.

No, because it depends on the high winds. Correct me if I'm wrong, Charles. I was on a hot air balloon on Friday. No more. She, Kelly. Oh, that's just it. No, she didn't say like, and I regret the day. Or I'm back into the end.

She just said it was Friday and moved on. Like it was just unimportant. Yeah. Oh, well, I did that on Friday. That's interesting. I was talking to one of the workers and I was like, oh, I was like on the podcast, like this person proposed. And like, that doesn't really happen, does it? And the person's like, yeah, because it's such a romantic, beautiful thing.

Like, we get a lot of proposals. And obviously the law of averages suggest that. Some people are going to say no. I just can't imagine getting to a position in your relationship where you propose and you don't know that that like you don't know the answer yeah do you know what I mean yep um so this guy proposed and the woman said no and when they landed the woman just like left him just walked off and said fuck you you suck by find your own way home oh guess it happens more than you think says Kelly so not only like an I know let's figure it out but a no fuck you is crazy

Well, I think maybe it was just like, it's such an awful thing to say, but you just get comfy and you're just in cruise and you haven't really thought about it. No, no, he's not the guy, but I can't. It's almost like, he's not bad enough to dump. And it almost was like, you're just a bit scared for change and whatever. And it's almost like, he's just presented a line in the sand. And she's gone, oh my God, you've just woken me up. Yeah. And you actually, you know what?

Yeah. No. And you suck. Yeah, that's what I like. Like, hey, Tony, do you want to do an extra episode this week? No, you suck. I hate you. I'm actually leaving you from Dublin.

You couldn't be further away unless you're in Spain. Or in a rural part of Ireland. Now, this is the highlight of coincidence chat in the history of the show. Oh. Oh. That is that could we have stuff in it. Yeah. Do you want me to pop move it?

No. It's like right at the line of. the elbow. Now, last week we were chatting about twins. Yes. And I said, hot, remember that time I was at the Adelaide Fringe Festival? And I stayed in a hostel with these two identical twins who did a show called Conjoined.

Well, I've got a message from Carl Redgan. Hi, Carl. And he said, hi, Ryan. Thanks for coming to our show at the Adelaide Fringe Festival. Oh! And thanks for sharing the room with us at the hostel. Blast from the past. He's now a hot air balloon instructor.

The night after you left, my twin brother Mike got bitten by a bed bug in that same hostel we all shared. And he ended up in hospital because he had an allergic reaction. We ended up having to cancel the show. You saw the last ever performance of our show conjoined. And there's the poster. He sent it to me and said, good to see you again, bud. They don't look identical. Yeah.

They don't look like the same person. Well, they're dressed differently. They do, Lily, look at this. They don't look like twins, eh? Like, not at all. They could not look more different. They could not look more different. That is so crazy.

Let me pass this to Charles. Hang, hang. Let me just. So he kind of look. They, like, could not look more different. Maybe they're cousins? Like, maybe they went to the same high school. Do you know what I mean?

They're both white? But, like, that's as far as, like. it goes, they are like not the same person. Don't you reckon? Yeah, they don't look the same. Like, they do not look close enough for you to have thought they were the same guy. Like, by a long shot. I'm going to say some words to you and I want you to piece the context together in your mind.

Hangover. Hangover. Drinking. Hostel. Yeah. Adelaide Fringe Festival. Yeah. And if you wake up in a hostel in a room where with a guy you thought you went to bed.

It just sounds like a sex thing, but it's not. And you wake up and you see the other one, you go, well, probably. I don't think they look close enough. Keep in mind, I didn't know that he was a twin or a brother. Hey, I've got something to say, he's not. That's not a twin. Carl and Mike. I want to see some fucking proof.

Send me a photo where you look the same because that's not it. Anyway, Carl's now a writer and director and is doing very, he's moved to L.A. and doing very well from South. And that was 13 years ago. Fuck, that's crazy. That was at the other late French festival. I did a show with Dave Warnocky.

That's fun. What was the show you did with Dave? Well, he used to do like a late night. Like he would ask the questions and it's three panelists and every night. Sure. Different comedians from the thing would drop in and I was just like on the panel one night. Oh, cool. And.

How'd that go? Is that fun? Yeah. Yeah, great. 10 doesn't lie or not. And I would never, but now like I just only would do. shows for Tony. What?

I just, I'm talking about doing shows with other people. I was saying, I thought it was cool that you did a spring show. Um, I think they looked pretty similar.

They could not look more different. Like, the things on the screen, like, they're just, and if the basis of your show is that you're twins, you would want to look as similar as possible.

Well, the show is called conjoined. Yeah. So they should look like twins. That is the craziest thing. ever seen. They could not look more different. I need proof. I hope the boys are doing well.

I think you've got it. Well, I haven't. If that's proof of them not being twins. Now, I've got to you love to see it. And I think because I was reading into the comments about hot air ballooning that I kind of got deep into hot air balloon chat, this guy was having breakfast in his house. And then he goes out the back. Man finds hot air balloon basket with 13 people in his backyard.

Is that playing? Yeah Oh, and they're all really happy to be there Yeah How did it not like crash land in their backyard though Like how they were fine And let me see if I can get some volume cranking Because the guy's just like

Everybody Look at that How did you guys trip so far? I think you guys missed the trees Yeah, seriously Oh my God What's your address? What's your address?

Yeah, because the guys are like we'll get the guy out to get everyone. And then everyone in the street comes around and they had to like lift off and take the thing back later. That is unbelievable. But you know, sometimes in life you get lucky. They've just landed in like the most happy go lucky bloke's backyard.

He's just like, this is so fucking funny. Like how cool is everyone right? Can I get you some water? Who wants a coffee? I'll call the guy. And also the fact that like they didn't land on anything. The house or the power lines or like a pet.

I don't like. No, but imagine you've got like a fucking rabbit hutch in the backyard and they go, sorry. What did someone think of the rabbits? Think of a pet in three, two, one. Rabbit. Do you know what is somebody else going to say guinea pig? And I thought, well, that's too crazy.

That's crazy. I thought guinea thing's too left of field in this situation. Sorry, I've just kicked Tony's camera because I was laughing so hard at the thought of a guinea pig. Is that still all right, Charles? Yeah. Sorry, the two. Twins have thrown me. And then you mentioned Dave Waterkey, I'm off it.

I've got it you love to see it here. And this is just so fucking rogue. And we've obviously just been doing about air balloons and guinea bigs. And my business is just going to finish us off. Hey, you're talking about Gini Bigs now. I got sent this little, like, meme, science meme from Kara Schweiger on Instagram. And she said, oh, don't feel. so bad it's a sign of brilliant health and it's a um a meme about how having hair on your toes is

it means that you've got really good cardiovascular health and we've talked about ladies and gentlemen the healthiest slut in island yeah about how when i was younger someone said that if you've got toe hairs it means you've got pubs i didn't want anyone to know i had pubs so i shave my toe hair and now i'm going to show my toe hair all the time because once you shave it it it goes back thicker and you've just got to you've got to be tendon to it yeah and it says the presence of hair on your toes is an excellent sign. For hair to grow on the farthest extremities of the body, your blood flow must be optimal.

You know what? I'm pumping. When someone says to me like, oh, what's like working with Tony? Yeah. You go, she's got amazing blood flow. I just say the blood flow is optimal. Well, I make your blood flow, you know what I'm saying? Optimally.

Yeah. To your cup. Yeah. Show us. Nah. Go on. Nah. Now that I don't know it's for medical.

purposes. No, it's really not ready. Is your blood flowing optimally at the moment? It actually might not be. Well, let's find out. Because I'm dehydrated. Nah, that's okay. I'll show you mine.

I can already see it. You've already got your hoofs out. Oh, your blood flow is okay. Surprisingly blonde on the toes. Yeah, it is blonde on the toes. Yeah. But I thought you loved to see that. What?

Yeah, no, that is optimal. What did you say? What did you say? Your pubs aren't blonde. mine either and you know that we know thank you very much

for hanging out with us today we really appreciate it tomorrow night is the hens party in London I know we're doing a bit of time and physical travelling at the moment

but tomorrow night in London we'd love to see you there we booked a big ass theatre because we don't want anyone to miss out so if you want to come down and say hi

we would love to have you in the theatre we would love it there are gussets in the bags oh yeah for those of you concerned they're gussin It's a very good quality bag.

Like, we joke, but it really is a hard GSM. And let me just quickly tell you about tomorrow's confession. Addiction. Last week, or maybe the week before, who the fuck knows at this point? You discussed reading a sexy book at the waiting room of the doctor. Not that it's a competition, but I reckon someone's one-up, Jeff. Amazing. And you know what?

I welcome you. And it was similar to you. And I think probably all of the stories with the sexy book is like, in my mind it was just a book. It didn't, it wasn't like I decided to do this. You just kind of realize in the moment you go, oh, I haven't thought this through. Like, and it wasn't until it was happening where they've gone, like probably not they. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Great. I can't want to. Yeah. So. Oh, and we're doing. on Hands Party Day. Yay! I'm getting married.

See, you're good at it. Again. I didn't do the fingers. What was my example again? You said Australia's in a drought. Yeah, it's just not quite the time. No. This week.

No, do one now. Say something exciting and give us the fingers. Like, you know, they're not really twins. Oh, that. Yeah. I mean, either fingers is fine. We might turn the camera. cameras off for the other one, no.

Charles. Would it be, is it better if I present and do it now, or is the whole point it's just to slide it in naturally? I just reckon you got a good one in, yeah. But I found the episode 10 on YouTube. That's quite true. Yes. I love you the cool boy.

Have I told you about the day of the jackal? Uh-huh. It's a great show. What is it? It's about a spy, and he's really good at dress-ups and stuff, and he pretends to be other people, And that's how he gets into places and, like, infiltrates, like, mafia and corporate conspirators. You'd have to be a good actor to pull that off.

Werdie Redmayne's one of the best. Is he? Yeah, and he, a world record shot for the distant snipering. You're joking. Yeah, I guess... Sniper? Yes. Oh, we know.

Love you. Love you. Bye!