Toni and Ryan - Ryan gets BONED

Episode Date: August 1, 2024

DON'T FUCK WITH SUPERGLUE!!!! Love ya xo [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Hello. We are calling Ali, who's in Germany. Ali? Ali. Or Ellie. Yep. That's who we're calling. Which one?

We're calling her. Hello. Hello, Ali. Hi, how are you doing? We're very well. Sorry, Ellie, I have to ask because Ryan's an idiot. Is your name Ellie or Ali? Ali. Ali.

You just said the same name twice. No, okay. So now I've gotten to the bottom of it. Ali. Yeah. How are you today? I'm great. I'm very tired because, like, 1am in Germany.

Oh, my God. We're very sorry because, like, 1am in Germany. Oh, my God. We're very sorry. Thank you for taking the call anyway. Now, Ali is not a native German. She's moved there for love. Oh, for labour. I have. Yeah.

And how's that going? I know, I call it feelings, not flights. It's going great. It's going great. He's obviously trying to speak to the next room, and I'm just being loud and obnoxious, and it's going great um it's going great he's obviously trying to speak to the next room and i'm just being loud and obnoxious and it's great oh well if he loves you after that then i mean it's you're in yeah if you need someone's uh advice on that ask torbs because he lives for someone who never shuts the fuck up yeah so yep all good we'll put those two in contact. But, Ali, will you approve today's podcast?

Of course. Woo-hoo! Legend. Hi, this is Ali from the Black Forest, Germany, and I approve this podcast. All right, welcome to a Friday. Welcome. Or Thursday of those of you playing along in different time zones. Oh, don't get confusing. Someone once said they felt like superior because, like,

they were personally getting delivered podcasts a day earlier. Yeah, right. Because they're like, I've got the Thursday episode on a Wednesday. Nah, see, I reckon it's worse because it's like we're talking about Friday vibes and you're like, fuck, it's only Thursday here. I've still got to finish up. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yep. But that means you can watch it on the Spotify app or put it on your smart TV. So enjoy. And you can enjoy my beautiful new sweater. It's lovely. Which has a mushroom and a frog.

Drinking a coffee. Ah. It's like the main feature of the jumper and you had never noticed. Drinking a coffee. Oh. Is that the main feature of the jumper and you had never noticed? It's very fun. I actually hadn't noticed. Very fun. Tony, I haven't told you about this because I didn't want you to have to worry about it in advance.

And don't worry about anything, so appreciate it, but I don't need it from you. We're talking about superglue. Oh. After we talked about superglue and the fact that you don't like superglue. Not that I don't like it. I don't have any personal problems with the people at superglue. No, no, no.

You don't have issues with big superglue. But I don't fuck with superglue. I respect it from a distance. That's different. I don't not like it. I think it has a place in the world. I just don't fuck with it. Which is actually a different thing if you think about it. It is different.

That's not me being like, oh, nah, it doesn't work and it's shit. This is me being like, it works too well. I'm staying away. I'm staying away. It's too good. It's too good. Everyone's on your side. Oh, thank you. And this isn't like an opinion.

This is just me sharing my dumb thoughts. Yeah. This is what that whole podcast is. Is that the super on the front was just like a way to say it's good? Yeah. I didn't realise it was like a different thing. Yeah. I was like, oh, super cool.

Yeah, and I drive a super car. Like, you know. Well, you know that a super car is different to a real car, right. I was like, oh, a super car. Yeah, and I drive a super car. Like, you know. Well, you know that a super car is different to a real car, right? I don't think it is. It actually isn't. Super cars, they're just like Falcons and Commodores and shit racing around Sandown. Yeah, I'm sure they're a bit fucking hotter under the hood or whatever,

but who gives a fuck? Well, it's like not a car that you could drive on the road. Not with that attitude. Okay. So what do you think that words mean well i just thought it was an adjective to say like um oh this chili is really hot or uh this lasagna is so you like i just thought it was a way to exaggerate i didn't realize it's like a whole new category yeah i think that's the way of putting it. Yeah. So it's like super glue. Like, yeah, it's obviously a bit stronger.

Oh, that glue is super. Yeah. Yeah. Or like a bit stronger. Like you get a medium drink and a large. You get glue and a super glue. I didn't realise that it was like this whole new category of shit. Different ball game.

And before my very eyes, shit's changing because I've seen some stories and it's making me nervous. I still want to superglue our coffee table. But we won during the tarp-a-thon. Someone from Airtask is going to do it so they can fuck with the superglue. Yeah. And that's fine. I'll respect them doing that.

From a distance. From a distance. Amanda Clement has messaged through. Thank you so much for sharing, Amanda. Hi, Amanda. When I was little, the shape of the super glue bottle was the exact same shape as my dad's eye drops. You let me know when you're ready for me to continue.

What happened? After watching my dad use eye drops regularly, I tried it out one day. Oh, that's actually not what I saw coming. What did you see coming? I thought the dad, not the daughter. No. No. I grabbed the super glue, except mine wasn't eye drops.

I just like, and poured super glues into my eyeballs. Amanda, dead now. She's telling us this from the grave. That is fucked. I was taken to the hospital immediately where they carefully cut my eyelashes out one by one. Thankfully, the super glue didn't get in the eye. I had just glued my eyes shut and after cutting the eyelashes,

they were able to open my eye again. Can confirm super glue fucking sucks. That's why I don't keep it in the house, just to avoid potential mishaps like this. Brianna Moon. Oh, Brianna. There's always one. The Briannas of the tarp community are the wild, wild gals.

Yep. I once tried to fix my shoe with super glue. That's like your common use, right? Like the- Super glue. The super glue. Like the soles come off so you can't, you know, because you want it to-

Yeah. Except I guess it depends on what type it is because like some glue is like water soluble. Not super glue, I don't think, but like you need like oil-based glue, right? Or like silicon. I'm not a glue expert. What would you call a glue expert? A gloopert.

Gloopert? Gloopist. Gloop. I don't know. But surely there's a chemist that their specialty is glue, right? I don't know. Adhesive specialist. Yeah.

Adhesive engineer. Oh. I ended up. Okay. So the shoe you can all right you can you can picture this and imagine how it plays out so she's doing her shoe you know you want to like put some pressure on it oh i've nearly knocked the table over so to put yeah give a technical tap yeah to like push it down to let the glue really fucking stick so she decides to put her foot into the shoe and then like push down on the ground so glue really fucking stick so she decides to put her foot into the shoe

and then like push down on the ground so the sole of the shoe like you know really gets up in there i end up getting my foot glued to the shoe and the shoe glued to the floor oh my god my parents had to rip up the lino in the kitchen fuck that would have been so angry. Could you imagine rocking up to the hospital or Bunnings, you know, two equal medical institutes, and you've got your shoe and like a square of lino. But it's like torn at the edges, and you know that the dad's gone,

hmm, we'll have to redo that. And what I love is you rock up to the triage at the hospital because it wouldn't be a hospital if it stuck, would it? I don't know where the fuck they went. But you can imagine walking in, they go, so how's your day been? And you're like, how the fuck do you think it's been? What's the problem today? My kitchen floor's stuck to my daughter.

Kitchen floor to hardly Noah. That is so, but this is the kind of thing that happens when you have superglue in the home. If I got stuck to that coffee table, if you had to be stuck to a coffee table, it is a fun one. It is. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Like imagine getting stuck to a coffee table is a bit of a shit, like a wicker. And you're like, oh, fuck. I've got to walk around with this on me. You've got a wicker coffee table stuck to your hand. Did your parents go to Bali in 1984? And you go, yeah, they did. And they go, well, obviously.

We had actually. Speaking of bogans from back in the day, Tony's got a story about her parents. Please take it away. We had this cane lounge set, right? And it was like a cane two or three seater couch and it was like the rounded cane. I know the exact one.

With the cushions. Yes, yeah, yeah. And the cushions were like black and it was like the rounded cane. I know the exact one. You know the one with the cushions, isn't it? Yes, yeah, yeah. And the cushions were like black and they had like multicoloured paint dots on them. And if you went back on it without a shirt on in summer, then you'd peel yourself off and you could see the cane. And see all the cane, yeah. And then I had two like armchairs with it as well, yeah.

And you bought them in a set? Oh, yeah, they would have bought all three together. And it had a cane coffee table with the glass top on the top. Oh, I hate glass. I always just get the heebie-jeebies. I hate the sound. When you put your drink down. And it's like the click, click, click, click.

I hate it. I fucking hate glass tables. I hate it. Fuck off. Yeah. Emma Armstrong. Emma. Glue strong, more like.

Sorry. My two-year-old nephew decided to drink super glue from the bottle and glued his tongue to the roof of his mouth isn't that upsetting we took him to the emergency room and they said because it's non-toxic he won't die straight away straight away fuck isn't that a heartbreaking oh he won't die straight away. Straight away? Fuck, isn't that a heartbreaking? Oh, he won't die straight away. So you know how the human digestive system is pretty powerful and amazing with all the acids and stuff to break stuff down? Sure.

In your stomach. In the roof of your mouth, over time it'll break down and it'll just come out on its own. You just got to give it time. Now that we know it's not toxic, like you just. Yeah, but try explaining that to a two-year-old though. Do you know what I mean? Well, first of all, try explaining anything to a two-year-old

or Tony Lodge. Yeah, so Tony, right now you can't talk. No, I think there's something to say. I've got to do a podcast. You know, that would be me. Maybe we should stick our tongue through our mouths and do an episode together. Do you know what?

No. Oh, Jameson came. I don't. Oh, well, Jameson's a fool. I don't fuck with super glue. They feared if they tried to peel it off, it would rip the skin. Yep. And cause unnecessary damage.

It ended up falling off a few days later. Oh, my God. A few days. Oh, that poor little kid must have just been in so much pain and confused as well. He's like, why is this happening still? Do you reckon the parents were like, it was a quiet couple of days though. Oh, just leave it out.

Two-year-old running around. It's not toxic. Yeah, it's not toxic. Have you ever got your tongue stuck to like an icy pole? No, but that does freak me out. Well, so I was on the plane with mum and they gave out icy poles and, you know, it was an international flight. So it was from France to Singapore.

Yep. And you know how like on an international flight you're way higher up so it's like way colder the altitude's way different than if you go from like melbourne to sydney or whatever and they handed out these icy ice creams or icy poles or something mom was like oh at home this wouldn't happen but like because it's so cold like if you put your little yeah and she put like a little bit of her tongue on the thing and then went, oh, see, like how funny. And I was like, oh, cool. And literally like fully tongued this whole thing and the whole front of my tongue was stuck to it.

And I'm on a fucking plane. Mum was like, well, I told you just do a little bit. So what did they do? Well, they had to pour hot water on my tongue to try and get, because they were like, you're going to get like frostbite. Like we have to get it off your tongue immediately. Surely the warmth of your tongue would just melt the ice eventually. Well, I don't know.

But I guess because it was so cold. They're pouring a cup of tea on you and stuff. So, yeah, it was like the hot water and then I had to pour that onto my tongue and try and like peel it off like slowly so we didn't like rip all my fucking tongue skin off. Could you imagine? Because that's come in handy as an adult, you know what I'm saying? Sorry.

It has come in handy as an adult. It's come in many places as an adult. And things have come on it as well. Sorry. Imagine that flight attendant getting home. Oh, my. And just being like, I had the stupidest little **** on my flight today. Like, do you know what I mean?

This stupid little bitch. And her mum, God, don't know what she was doing. Like, they probably thought that mum, I just had the worst mum ever. And it was fully stuck on the thing. Did you think that you could die on that plane and that might have been it? I actually did because I was like, I'm going to not be able to breathe soon. This is in my face. Yeah.

This is in the wild. So the other day I was here at work by myself and I ate a bit of leftover chicken and it had. This just sounds like you saying what you did. It doesn't sound dangerous at all. And it had a bone in it. And the bone was only little, but little enough for it to get, kind of got to the back of my throat and I could kind of like, you know when you kind of feel it.

And I thought, and I had, there was another bit of chicken in front of me and when there's chicken in front of me, it's hard not to eat it. So I thought, and there was another bit of chicken in front of me and when there's chicken in front of me, it's hard not to eat it. So I thought. It'll push the other one down like kids in a slide. If I have another bit of chicken, it'll just push it down and maybe it's small enough and then the body will do its thing and break it down and it's fine. So then I've eaten a bit more and pushed it down.

But then instead of just being in the back of my throat, it felt like it was in my neck. And then I was like, no, it's perfectly angled. Like it's just sitting across. And I had to like concentrate on breathing because I'm like, if I panic, it's not going to help. It's going to get worse. Yep.

I can breathe. Like it's fine. I've just got to think this through. But in the meantime, just stay calm. And in my calm, I went, I could die in this workplace and like no one will be here. Like for a few days. Like you'll just rock up to work.

Well, I would have come in the next day. Yeah, and I just would have laid there limp overnight. Would have smelt terrible. Yeah, the chicken would have gone off. Yeah. Didn't cover it with glad wrap before I. Oh, for fuck's sake. Yeah.

But then I was like, well, I've put some effort into pushing it down, which was a mistake. Now I've got to try and get it back up. Oh, you had to get it out. Yeah. I was going to say, how were your poos? Did you have to shit this bone out? If that bone had to go right the way through, it would have, yeah, nah.

So I had to like, so then I decided I've made the wrong, I've pushed it down an inch, but I've got to get that inch back up and then really give it a hocker, like a big. Yeah. So I had to like heimlich myself, which I normally only do in the privacy of my own basement. But then so, yeah,

but I actually had a moment where I thought this could be it. That is so scary. It wasn't scary, it was embarrassing. No, but like you do have that panic. And I thought about Mabel. And they go, do you not have a dad? And she goes, no, he ate a piece of chicken.

Like Elvis. Yeah. Well, didn't he die of a ham sandwich? No, that was Mama Cass. Oh, sorry, Mama. He was the, yeah. Didn't he die of shitting himself? He was on the toilet eating, I think, or something.

Anyway. I actually think that's a great, where else would you rather be? That's a great story. That's really scary though. Like, so did you cough the bone back up? I did. I heimliched myself and went, and gave it a crack for about 30 seconds. It would have sounded like I was trying to deep throat a fish bowl.

Like, it was just like, and then like, and like. This is a crazy story. Were you not going to tell us this? That didn't really occur to me until we talked about the fact that you nearly died by isopole on the flight to France. Okay, today's episode thread, how'd you almost die but funny? Hi, this is Ali from the Black Forest, Germany, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. All tiers of Patreon are currently, like, zinging around at the bottom of the screen. But a few of our champion tapas, Laura Carter, good on you, Laura, Kate Paniella, Brayden Witt, Charissa M. Korn, Kate Niblock, and Kyle Nicholson, thank you very much for being part of our Patreon. Thank you. Absolutely love to see it. Love to see it.

Love to see it. Now, this is normally a bit of your area, Ryan, and I know that you- Is it choking on chicken bones? Yeah, no, actually it's your area where you would normally present what we call a flappable Tony where people might send in a little story. Well, Tony, you're easily flapped. Yeah, I'm easily flapped. Someone might send in a story that they go,

oh, this will get Tony going. Should I just fucking stop talking? Yes? That they go, oh, this will get Tony going. Should I just fucking stop talking? Yes. Our friends Guy and Kenny were here in the office at 5.15. They left here at 5.15 for a six o'clock flight. Disgusting. They told me about that. A six o'clock flight.

They told me about that. They go, oh, we're carry on only in the airport just down the road. So when they, and I was like, oh, Ryan told me about the airport and they're like, oh, yeah, they said that'd bother you. I was like, oh, my God, that is my worst fucking nightmare. So exactly like that. The people will send in a story or Ryan will go, fuck, that'll get Tony going.

And something actually happened in my own life and I thought, I'm not in the safety of a podcast studio right now. This could take me down. This might be my chicken bone is what I thought. What is your chicken? Could the chicken bone be a new metaphor? Like kryptonite. What's your chicken bone?

What's your chicken bone? Instead of like Achilles heel. Yes, that's what I was looking for, yes. What's your chicken bone? Yeah. Chicken bone is the new Achilles heel. But it didn't bring you down. That's the whole thing is that like your Achilles heel is like your Achilles heel. It's like the one thing. The chicken bone didn't bring you down. That's the whole thing is that like your Achilles heel is like your Achilles heel.

It's like the one thing. The chicken bone didn't bring you. You beat the chicken bone. The chicken bone tried to bring me down. You're bigger than the chicken bone. But it only made me stronger. Is this a Kelly Clarkson song? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Eating as I'm chicken. Cuff it up and keep on living your life. That's good. I like that. Good. Callie Clarkson. Oh, what can she do? Lyrical genius.

So I wasn't in the safety of this podcast studio, but something occurred with someone who I thought I could trust. And this has flapped me right off the jetty of life. I wasn't near a jetty. I was just trying to do a metaphor like you did. It just hits a bit different when you've got a saying, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. And that's why I thought I would.

Flipping right off the jetty. Yeah. Like the other day I said, like, yeah, my kettle's boiling. Or remember, like. There's a ghost in my attic. Ghost in my attic. That's really put a ghost in my attic. Don't fucking put a ghost in my attic, man.

Don't you put a ghost in my attic And tell me it's Christmas If you're trying to figure out what that means We don't know either We don't know either Anyway so the other day my sister Came over to my Oh sorry let me Did she bring a ghost

She put a ghost in my attic Do you have an attic? No I don't You should get one I think I've got a manhole That's what an attic is No it isn't It's a ghost in my attic. No, I don't. You should get one. I think I've got a manhole. That's what an attic is. No, it isn't. It's a poor man's attic.

I've got a roof. Yeah, I've got a crawl space. Is that what that is? Yeah. What's it? How come in Australia we don't have attics? Because there are probably a lot of Americans listening being like, you don't have an attic?

We don't have basements either. It's like not very common. I think basements has got It's like not very common. I think basements has got to do with being in Twister with Glenn Power and we don't have Twister so we don't need to get down to the basement. Twisters, thank you very much. I believe attics is because of the mid-century, do people give a shit about this?

Oh, I'm actually interested. Mid-century modern architecture would have a flatter roof, whereas if you had an A-frame style roof, just by natural, you've kind of got dead space so they go, oh, let's not have it be dead, let's use it for something. But we have like flatter tin roofs here in Australia. Right. In some areas.

Got you. And I think the basement thing is a safety. Right. Is that? They dig down. To get away from the tornadoes? Fuck, if that's not right, that sounds like a dump. I don't think as a rule that's what it is

because a basement is different to like a like safety area or just but it was just i guess normal and i don't know if just from tv shows but it feels like that's where the laundry is and the fucking whatever and everyone has a man cave and it sounds fucking sick or like a rumpus room for the kids like that's where the kids hang out and if if there's a tornado, that's where you hide out. That's where you go. Yeah, I guess you've got to get to lower ground. I could have just made that up. I found so basements are so that utility lines are below the freezing line.

Oh. See, we just have pipes. So all the waters and stuff is underground. Yeah, so it'd be 1.5 metres deep below. Twister, I was right. Go. Interesting. That is actually quite interesting.

So we don't have that here. We don't have attics and basements. Well, it doesn't get freezing here. Oh. So I guess it's the fact that, like, our weather doesn't require it. So what you're saying is, is there a ghost in my attic? Well, there's a ghost in your roof. There's a ghost on top of your house.

No, that's solar panels. Oh, must be nuts. What to save the world and save on energy bills and a cost of living crisis. It is actually very nice. No, see, that must be nice. Yeah, it is. Being able to do that must be nice.

It is. Anyway, so someone came to my house that I thought I could trust, my sister. Libby. I don't trust her. Libby, you don't trust her? Love her, don't trust her. Love her.

You know that meme, love her. No, I do trust Libby with my life. She came over the other night and she had her husband and their two boys with them. We were just going to have a bit of dinner and whatever. And it was about 3.30 and she gave me a call earlier in the day and she's like, oh, what do you want to do for dinner? We can come to you or whatever.

And I was like, oh, yeah, I can't go out because I've got Woolworths order being dropped off. Like I'd done my shopping online and it was being dropped off between like three and four or whatever. Did you say this story was about a lack of trust? Because it sounds like you don't have trust in your neighbours and a Woolworths order being left outside. Well, funny you should mention that because it does take a bit of a turn.

But not in the direction that I think that you will expect. More next week. No. Was there a ghost in the Woolies bag? There's a ghost. The Woolies got dropped off by a ghost in the Woolies bag. There's a ghost. The Woolies got dropped off by a ghost in a Volkswagen Golf. Casper's got to pay the bills too, you know, cost of living prices. Do you know what I'm saying?

Anyway, yeah, they don't have to eat, but they do have to live. No, they don't. They don't have to live. Oh, my God. Anyway, leave that for another time. I said, I can't go to your house until later because we'll and she goes oh we'll just be down the road so we'll come to you I was like perfect they uh got to our house yeah about 3 30 and um I was just putting my shopping away and my sister goes oh yeah we just

got our Woolworths delivery dropped off as well. And I was like, oh, before you came? And she goes, no, no, like just then I got the text. Trust. And I went, what? What? And I was like, aren't you staying for dinner? And she goes, yeah. And I was like, but your shopping's out the front door.

Yeah. She goes, yeah. And I was like, but your shopping's at the front door. Yeah. She goes, yeah. I was like, no, no, no, hang on, hang on. So your shopping's there outside but you're here at my house. Trust issues here. And I was like, so are you going to go home and just like pop that inside, pop your milk in the fridge and whatever and then come back? She goes, no, like it's not hot outside or anything.

It's probably cooler outside in Melbourne than it is in my fridge. So hang on, is it a milk going off issue? Is it a neighbour's going to steal at issue? Is it telling robbers there's no one home, please rob me issues? What's the first? All of those. What? Everything happened at one time.

And I'm thinking like, well, if you're staying here for dinner, how long is it going to be till you get home? How long is a piece of milk that's been left out? Everything happened at one time. And I'm thinking like, well, if you're staying here for dinner, how long is it going to be till you get home? How long is a piece of milk that's been left out? It's solid and disgusting because it's been left out. On a cool Melbourne evening. So they ended up leaving our house at like 8.30. Yeah.

So they wouldn't have gotten home till at least like, you know, 10 to 9, 9 o'clock. Yeah. And their shopping had been out all the lifelong day. And I was like, well, what's in the shopping? She goes, oh, like, you know, stuff for the boys' lunches for tomorrow, so like a bit of ham and cheese. She's like, yeah, a bit of milk.

And I was like, any meat? And she goes, well, yeah, the ham for the boys' thing and like, oh, yeah, some mince because I'm going to do a spaghetti bolognese tomorrow night and whatever. And I was like, you can't be leaving meat on the front door. I don't know if this is going to fuck you off more or less. I had a tradesman at the house and I left and I said to the tradie, if the Woolies order comes in, gets here and you see it, can you let him in and tell him to put it on the bench?

What? The tradies and delivery people at your place aren't getting paid enough. That's an extra service. What do you mean? Oh, mate, if you see a guy, just let him in and tell him to put it on the bench. That's not his fucking problem. You've now given him a whole extra job. That's too much.

Don't put that on him. This isn't an extra job. Oh, g'day, mate. Just on the bench there. It is because you just had to do it. One second work. It's still an extra job. One second work.

He gets paid by the hour. And he's like, oh, well, now instead of focusing on what I'm doing, I'm thinking about the Woolworths guy. Not thinking about him. Just when you see him. No, you've got to think about it because you go, oh, I was going to go down the back and do something else, but I can't because I'm thinking about the Woolworths guy. Not thinking about him. Just when you see him. No. You've got to think about it because you go, oh, I was going to go down the back and do something else, but I can't because I'm waiting for you Woolies guy.

If you see him. That is insane to me. No, you can't be doing that. So when you order online, do you then go to the supermarket and stand next to the guy and just like make sure he does it? No. Because a part of the convenience of doing it online is you don't have to worry about it.

Yeah. So it sounds like you're still worrying about it. No, no, no. But you're getting a different tradie to like intervene with the other thing that you just. Where are you going? Why are you leaving tradies at your house? I mean, Bron go for a walk.

Oh, I tell you because we're getting the fences done. BJ is loving the fence guys sick. So, A, we don't have a back fence at the moment, so he's just been wondering the fucking thing. Which is also a flappable Tony in and of itself. But the reason we're not concerned is we go, he loves the fence guys so much. If we want to know where BJ is, go see the fence guy

and I bet he's sitting right next to him. I just can't. I go, ironically, one of the fences is PJ. And I go, hey, PJ, you seen BJ? And he goes, yeah. Yeah, they just got married. Yeah, but like the two Js hanging out. Good gag.

Thanks. But it's like the Js are following each other. Yeah. And I go, where's BJ? And he goes, oh, with PJ. Yeah, sitting next to me. PJ's fencing and co. Is that what it's like the Js are following each other. Yeah. And you go, where's BJ? And he goes. Oh, with PJ. Yeah. Sitting next to me. PJ's fencing and co.

Is that what it's called? So. I watched the fencing on the Olympics actually. Very good. Do you reckon they get deliveries while they're fencing? No, there's a little dog with them while they're fencing. How long? So if you're getting a Woolies order delivered, you are home,

you will not leave. I would make sure that I would. But I would also just set it for a time that was convenient for me to be at home. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like I would never go, oh, get dropped off at five. We're going out at four, so we'll do it at five.

I'd be like, oh, no, well, I'll just organise it to come earlier or I'll go and pick it up or whatever. So even though you and Libby, your sister, are quite similar. We are very similar. Is this like a stark difference though? She's a bit LaVita Loca on some things. It was pretty loose in my opinion for her. Like because I was like Libby.

She's living on the wild side. It's a Friday. Let the hair down. I actually think I might have middle named her. Like I think that she told me and I was like Libby Ann. Like no. her like i think that she told me she and i was like libyan not like no like i was really like could not believe what was coming out also libyan just rolls off the tongue too well and it sounds like she's from libya it's like an australian like she's from libya oh yeah she's libyan

um she's not libyan libyan because my mom you're gonna leave those pork bins on the front doorstep in five degreedegree weather? I just- And then her husband, Jason, goes, oh, the biggest worry is probably the possums. I'm like, now I'm thinking about the possums as well. I didn't even think of the possums. The possums are coming down and opening your milk

and putting their little hands in everything. I found a rat in BJ's food the other day. Fuck. What is going on at your place? It was like this big. It was huge. And you know why it was huge? Because it had been eating all of BJ's food.

Sitting in the dog bowl, just like eating all around itself, having the time of its fat little life. Inside or outside? On the decking. Like on the back deck? Yeah. It'd wandered up and gone, hey, BJ, you having this? And he's like, no, I'm with the fence guy.

And he goes, okay. And just flops himself into the bowl. See, that's what happens when you leave food on the bench, on the deck. So everyone's a winner. The rat comes in and eats it. I just, I was so incredibly flapped by that. I was like, I would just never, ever leave my shopping out. Ever.

Should we order something right now to your house? No, Absolutely not. How would that make you feel? I would be anxious because I'd also feel rude that I wasn't there to like accept it. They sleep on the doorstep. But they ring the bell and this whole thing. Well, it's not a thing.

They just ring the bell and they put it down. Oh, I just feel guilty. I'm like I should be there to accept the food. It's not like you're a mother who's abandoned her child for 20 years. Oh, things are coming up. Like I just feel guilty that I wasn't there. It's like, oh, that's all good. No, just like, I don't know.

And I also just like when I'm there and it comes and I can just put it away and it's done. Or do you reckon the bread sort of looks at the milk and goes, this bitch, what a shit mum. And they can eat pippa inside. Baby's at home alone. What have we signed up for you guys worst holiday ever i just i could not believe that that gave me a right flapping a right flapping it did i like it i'm you know what i trust libby a little bit more now oh okay

well you guys can go and start your own fucking podcast. I got to, you live to see it? You Libby to see it? You Libby to see it? Oh, you love to see it? We'll chuck it on the screen if you're watching on the app. This is a 100-year-old, or maybe she's 99, about to turn 100, but her name is Betty Brussels. Hi, Betty.

And she's from the Netherlands. You can see the video I've just texted you, Tony. Yeah. She has set a new world record for the 400 metres freestyle in the 100 years and above category. Now, Betty grew up as one of 12 children growing up in the Netherlands and you imagine with 12 kids, the resources were pretty slim. Oh, my gosh.

So there was no extracurricular activities. Just surviving was their job. Yeah. And so she only started swimming at age 65. She'd never swam until the age of 65. And now she said, the pool is my safe space and my heaven. I love going swimming. And now after starting at 65, she's now 100 years old

and a world record holder in the 400 freestyle. Knocked four minutes off the previous record I just saw on the video. Yeah. That is un-fucking real. Doesn't that just get you going? It's never too late. Start the fucking blog. It's never too late. Start the

athletic journey. That is so amazing. Just do it. I think that might be taken. That one. Do it justly. Yeah. That is so... Betty, that's fucking massive. Also, isn't Betty Brussels one of the great names you've ever heard? As if she's not like a spy.

Like Betty Brussels. You know, that sounds so good. Oh, that's awesome. Thank you for sharing that. That's really fucking cool. What do you love to see, Tony Lodge? I've got a love to see it here from Court N' Low. Court N' Low, sorry. And I've got a love to see it here from Corten Lowe. Cort N Lowe, sorry.

And I've just sent it to you. It's a tweet. We can pop the screenshot up but Courtney tweeted, Today I have to park outside my ex-husband's wedding so that I can whisk away our son if he gets a bit overwhelmed or has a meltdown. Guests, however, at the wedding will not know

this and will only see me parked outside and I cannot stress this enough, my ex-husband's wedding. To steal a child. But they go, oh, Courtney's taking it really hard. She's out the front in a Honda Odyssey. Yeah, just judging everyone walking in. Just, you know, trying to pick her moment. But she's obviously there to be like, oh, if little Henry, you know,

gets a bit overwhelmed, I'll grab him. Don't want to ruin your day. Or he'll just be there to hand you the rings and then I'll take him and you guys have a great afternoon. And she looks like the ultimate villain. But she's sitting out the front like waiting to break this wedding up, you know. I love it.

Like anybody need to object and Courtney runs in. Love it. Love it. Is she wearing dark glasses? I hope so. Just for the vision of the whole thing. Have you seen those things where it's like, for $20 I will wear a dark suit and be at your wedding

and sit in the back row of funerals where everyone's like, oh, do they have like a secret rite or something? That's a bit mysterious. Yeah, I would do that for free. Yeah. I was about to say, I love funerals, but it didn't really come out right. And then I said it anyway. I think I need a sandwich.

You know when sometimes you just need a sandwich? We've talked about zero to 100, Tony, but you've just witnessed 100 to zero. We've got to the end of the week and her body's gone. I literally slowed down in real time. I'm just doing a podcast. I need a sandwich. See, AI, it'll get you. Sorry.

See, I need a sandwich. Someone, sandwich on set. Someone get this bitch a sandwich. But seriously, why don't we order one from Woolies? Get it dropped off and be there to pick it up. Why don't you just ask your tradie mate to fucking whip you up a sandwich? Hey, mate, if you're in the kitchen anyway and you've helped them put the thing, you don't mind making us a sandwich, do you?

Did you ever order Uber Eats at a place that you were not yet there? No. So I was on the way home after a night out and I was like, fuck, I'm going to get home and want like a souvlaki or something. Yeah. And they goes, yeah, it's like 30 minutes and I was 30 minutes away. So I'm like, done. And so I pull in, like the Uber drops me off as the Uber Eats guy comes in and I go, thanks,

bud. That's beautiful. That's beautiful timing. Poetry in motion. I think that might be an Olympic sport, timing that up. Maybe, yeah. That's a gold medal in my eyes. I think the volleyball thing was like a red herring. I don't think that was my Olympic calling. Yeah. It's a medal move. That's a gold medal in my eyes. I think the volleyball thing was like a red herring.

I don't think that was my Olympic calling. Yeah, it's a medal move. That's what I'm calling it. Medal moves? No, like a medal move. Not metal, like medal. I need a sandwich. Okay, yeah.

You're watching us power down. Have a great weekend. Big news on Monday. Have a great weekend. Big news on Monday. Love you so much. Mwah, mwah, mwah. Mwah, mwah, mwah.

Love you, bye.